//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! // Story: Tooth-hurty // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// “Alright, so this is not at all who I thought you meant when you said you knew of some ‘hot chicks’ who needed a ride, Sunset.” Flash Sentry sat in the driver’s seat of his muscle car, his day having gone from ‘boring’, to ‘intriguing’, to ‘OH GOD! WHAT?!’ in record time. His ex-girlfriend Sunset Shimmer sat in the passenger seat, the back seats crammed full of orange hair and ex-siren. “Hey, I didn’t lie,” Sunset said. “You’re not about to tell me the Dazzlings aren’t hot chicks.” “Ooooh yes!” Adagio purred from the middle seat while wind courtesy of a moaning Sonata rolling her window up and down whipped Adagio’s hair into the face of a slightly bruised Aria. “You mislead me,” Flash countered. “I mean, ‘hot chicks’ basically includes literally everyone you hang out with! I had no idea you meant the three magical femme fatales who nearly took out the school!” Adagio leaned forward and leered suggestively at Flash. “Flattery will get you everywhere!” She pressed an index finger against Flash’s knee and began running it down the length of his thigh. “And I do mean everywhere…” Flash’s eyes widened as Adagio’s finger slowly moved down his thigh. Sunset put her hand on Adagio’s face and pushed her back into her seat. She turned to Flash. “I want to say you’re overreacting, buuuuuut…” Flash raised an eyebrow. “They mind-controlled the entire school and almost took over the world?” Sunset sighed. “How I wish that was top of my list of worst things I’ve had to deal with. But yes. You’re right. I was desperate, but this was still wrong of me,” Sunset admitted. “I’m sorry I pulled you into this and you have to deal with—” “GET YOUR HAIR OUT OF MY FACE!” Aria snapped as she swatted at the mass of orange curls that had renewed their assault on her. “—frickin’ THIS!” Sunset exclaimed. “Do you think I WANT to be in the middle?!” Adagio shot back at Aria. “I had to do this because Sonata wouldn’t stop whining about having a window seat!” “But the cool wind feels so good on my aching teeth!” Sonata opened her lips and held her teeth against the rush of incoming air then pushed her window button up and down a few more times. “And this window is so uppy-and-downy!” Sunset turned around in her seat. “Would you three just calm down for like five minutes?! DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND!” Adagio narrowed her eyes. “You’re not driving.” “DON’T MAKE FLASH TURN THIS CAR AROUND!” “Uh, Sunset…? I’m on the highway.” “DON’T MAKE FLASH TAKE THE NEXT EXIT AND THEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ON THE HIGHWAY GOING THE OTHER DIRECTION SO THE CAR IS EFFECTIVELY TURNED AROUND!” Flash sighed. “Isn’t Applejack going to meet us at the dentist’s office? Why didn’t at least one of the girls go with her?” Sunset turned towards Flash with narrowed eyes. “Aria and her had just gotten done beating up each other and Sonata was attached to Adagio and Applejack doesn’t know how to deal with simultaneously listening to Sonata’s inane nonsense while the person next to her rubs her thigh and tries to seduce her as she’s driving at sixty miles per hour!” Adagio chuckled. “I see you’ve been keeping up with my Instagram.” Sunset turned to glare at Adagio. “You were just doing that like a minute ago!” Adagio shrugged. “Everyone needs a hobby.” Sunset raised her eyelids slightly at Flash. “Any other questions?” Flash sighed and shook his head, then paused thoughtfully for a moment. “Yeah, just one… Does Twilight have like… some sort of magic phone number or mailbox she uses to keep in contact with you, and can I have her magical phone number or give you a letter to mail or something?” Sunset closed her eyes, lowered her head, and brought both sets of fingertips to her temples. She let out a long continuous sigh, letting the air flow from her lungs until it was completely depleted. “So… Is that a ‘no’ to the part where you have a way of contacting her, or a ‘no’ to the part where I can have her number or give you a letter?” Sunset inhaled until her lungs were full again, then exhaled, sighing with the exact same tone she had just moments before. “Sonata,” Adagio began, “why are you sticking your arm out the window?” Sonata let left her hand drift up in down on the wind, as if it was riding a wave. “Because-ow-it’s fun! Ow.” She turned to glare at Adagio. “Why?! Are you going to-ow-tell me I might lose my arm if I don’t keep it inside? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM! OW!” Adagio shook her head. “I only ask because you said the wind felt good on your teeth, so why stick your arm out?” Aria grinned and leaned past Adagio. “Yeah! You should stick your entire head out!” “Yay!” Sonata cried. “Like a d-ow-ggy!” She immediately stuck her head through the window and let her tongue loll out. “Sunset…?” Flash said. “Hmmm?” Sunset replied casually. “Sonata just stuck her entire head out the car window.” Sunset nodded. “I’m aware of what’s going on behind me, thanks.” “She’s going to get herself decapitated doing that.” “Again, I’m well aware of this,” Sunset said. “I am okay with that potential outcome.” Flash frowned. “Also, I might get pulled over with her doing that.” Adagio interjected, leaning forward so she was in between Sunset Shimmer and Flash once more. “Oh the police?! They’re pretty easy to placate! I have a little trick I do when they show up, you see I just…” Adagio went quiet as she rolled the fingers on her right hand into an ‘O’.  Similarly, she opened her mouth and pursed her lips into a similarly sized round shape before she began rhythmically moving her hand towards and away from her lips at a diagonal angle while she poked at one of her cheeks with her tongue. Flash’s eyes opened wide as his eyes darted back and forth between the road and Adagio who was currently waggling her eyebrows at him as she continued her lewd gesture. Sunset turned to push Adagio back down into her seat. The act prompted a brief slap match with Adagio and Aria until Adagio pressed herself against Sonata. For a brief moment, there was no sound except that of rushing wind and Sonata exclaiming “Wheeeeee-ow-Wheeeeeee-ow… Wheeeeeee-ow” like a vehicle siren that was somehow also in pain. Flash broke the silence. “Wait… What if it’s a policewoman? I mean… Won’t you have trouble there?” Sunset smacked her face with both palms and shook her head. Adagio leaned forward again. “Oh, not a problem! I just…” Adagio formed a ‘V’ with her right index and middle finger then placed it in front of her mouth. She began licking the space where her fingers met. “SIT DOWN!” Sunset cried as she turned around and pushed Adagio back into her seat. Adagio took a few swats at Sunset. “STOP PUSHING ME! I’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS! ISN’T THAT THE WHOLE POINT OF YOU KEEPING AN EYE ON US?!” “WELL DO IT WITHOUT THE WEIRD SEXUAL STUFF!” Sunset cried as she returned cat like swats in Adagio’s direction. “OH!” Adagio exclaimed. “So friendship means changing how you act so people will like you instead of accepting how you really are, hmmmmmm?!” Sunset paused her slapping. “No… I mean…I just…” Sunset sighed and hung her head. “I’m sorry, Adagio. You’re right. I overreacted,” she admitted. “Maybe just save it until we’re out of the ca—” Adagio pulled her hand back as much as she could in the full backseat of the car and brought it against Sunset’s face with an earsplitting ‘SMACK!’ Sunset’s jaw dropped open as she held a palm against the new red mark on her cheek. Aria let out a chuckle. “Hah!” Adagio said derisively. “Got you to lower your guard! You stupid friendship-loving wet blank—” “RRHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!” Sunset undid her seat belt, rotated onto the transmission hump of the car, and threw herself at Adagio. She did her best to pummel Adagio with the limited space the car afforded her. “Ow! OW!” Adagio exclaimed. “THIS ISN’T VERY FRIENDSHIP OF YOU, SUNSET! OW!” “HEY! GET OFFA ME!” Aria cried as she began attacking both Sunset and Adagio and in attempt to get the pair to back off and give her some space. “WOULD YOU ALL KNOCK IT OFF?!” Flash yelled. “I’M TRYING TO MAKE SURE WE DON’T ALL DIE FROM ME CRASHING ON THE HIGHWAY! YOUR BRAWLING BACK THERE IS MAKING THAT QUITE A BIT MORE CHALLENGING THAN USUAL!” Sunset stopped, her knees on Adagio’s lap and a clump of Adagio’s hair in her left hand as her right was pulled back into a fist directed at Aria. Adagio stopped, her arms crisscrossed in front of her as her hands were held like talons ready to claw at the faces of both Aria and Sunset. Aria stopped, a clump of Adagio’s hair in her left hand as her right hand was held as straight as a knife ready to swing into Sunset’s neck. Sunset quickly crawled back to her seat and buckled her seatbelt as she, Adagio, and Aria murmured apologies to Flash. Once again the car was silent, save for the sound of the wind and Sonata’s cries of excitement-pain. Suddenly, Sonata stuck out her arm through the window to join her head and leaned out. Now almost more outside than in, she pointed enthusiastically and tried to shout back into the car. “We can’t hear you, numb-nuts!” Aria replied “TRUCK! TRUCK!” Flash cried in a panic. Sunset clenched her teeth and grasped her seat as Adagio and Aria quickly leaned towards Sonata, grabbed her and pulled her inside moments before a massive truck hauling a trailer occupied the space Sonata was in moments before. The truck blared its horn as it continued the other direction. Flash and Sunset let out sighs of relief. “That was close…” Sunset uttered. “Sonata!” Adagio snapped. “What the hell is so important you’d stick almost your entire body out of a moving vehicle?” Sonata pointed her hand out the window. “It’s a Ta-ow-Bell! We HAVE t-ow st-ow-p!” Sunset’s shoulders slumped forward as she felt the muscles on her face do the same. “To think we were almost rid of her.” Aria sighed as she pushed Adagio’s hair away from her face. “Welcome to our world. Every time she does something stupid and almost gets herself killed somehow we decide to save her dumb ass.” Adagio glared at Sonata. “You have pointed out literally every restaurant with the word ‘taco’ in it and every Mexican restaurant we’ve driven past, and every time we tell you ‘no’! Why do you think this time will be different?!” Sonata puffed out her lips into a pout. “Because I’m n-ow-super-mega-ultra-hyper hungry! Ow!” Adagio and Aria suddenly put on matching frowns as their pupils simultaneously contracted. “Oh…” they said in unison. Sunset turned to look at backseat again. “Why should that matter? Last time she was super-mega-ultra hungry. We didn’t stop then.” Adagio shook her head. “Super-mega-ultra-hyper hungry is the level where it happens.” “Where what happens?” Sunset asked. Adagio clamped some of her hair around both her ears. Aria reached for some of Adagio’s hair and also pressed it against her ears. Sonata inhaled as much air as her lungs could carry. “WHOUUUUUAAAhouhhhhhAAAAAhhAAAHAAAAhhhhAAAAA!I’mHUNGryI’MHUngryI’mHUngRY!WITHoUTFoOdI’mgoiNgTODIEEeeeeeEEEEE!oWWWWWieOWWWWIEEEEeeeoWWWWWWWWOWWWWWWEEE!” “THAT!” Adagio answered. “OH, FIXER CHRIST!” Sunset exclaimed. “I CAN FEEL MY INTERNAL ORGANS SHAKING!” “SUNSET!” Flash cried. “I’M NOT SURE I CAN KEEP THE CAR ON THE ROAD WITH ALL THIS GOING ON! I... I’LL MAKE SURE TO CRASH IT ON THE DRIVER’S SIDE!” “MYTeeeeTH!MystOMACHE!EVerytHINGhURRRrrrrrRRRRRrrrrrtttttTTTTTTTSSSSSO!WIEOWIEowieowieOWIEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEE! “DON’T TALK LIKE THAT, FLASH!” Sunset shouted. “YOU’RE STRONG! I KNOW YOU CAN GET US THROUGH THIS!” Flash shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t… Sunset?! In case I don’t make it through this, I need… I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!” “MYStOmache!MyTEEth!mystomACHE!mytEETH!” Sunset began to weep openly. “Choke-Sob-Yes, Flash?!” “I NEED to tell you to TELL Twilight Sparkle that she is just SO, SO hot! LIKE DAMN! There needs to be inter dimensional LAWS about looking that good, or something!” “… WHAT?!” -~One Emergency Trip to a Taco Bell later followed by more stress-filled driving ~- “Where the heck were y’all?!” A slightly bruised Applejack exclaimed as Sunset half-stumbled out of Flash’s car. “Ah’ve been waiting in this here parkin’ lot for dang near an hour now! I tried textin’, calling’… The whole sheba—Oh…” Applejack trailed off as she got a better look at Sunset. Strands of Sunset’s hair shot in all directions as if they were attempting to escape from the rest of her while other parts of hair were matted with red, white,  or green sauces or some combination of them. Her turquoise eyes fond Applejack as if searching for her through some sort of mist.  Applejack couldn’t help but note that Sunset’s eyes looked tired and perhaps even slightly hollow. Sunset rushed over to Applejack and threw her arms around her, tears streaming from her face. “Whoa there, pardner!” Applejack said. “Ah’m sorry I got cross wit’ ya! What happened?!” “I’M SORRY!” Sunset said. “But-sob-We had to stop for tacos and Sonata ordered so many tacos and tried to fit them two or three at a time into her mouth and-whimper-Adagio kept hitting on the staff and everyone who walked in and-sniff-and-and I think Aria smashed hot sauce packets into the eyes of a marine and beat him up, and-choke- my phone fell into a vat of sour cream and-IT WAS SO HORRIBLE! WHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAA!” Sunset’s body shook against Applejack’s with her cries. “Hey,” Applejack embraced Sunset tightly, gave her a few pats on the back, and then pulled back just enough so she could look Sunset in the face. “I know you’ve had it rough, but as my Granny always says, ‘after the rain always comes the su—” “ROUND TWO STARTS NOW, APPLEPACK!” Aria cried before she TACKLED Applejack at full speed and brought her to the ground. Sunset watched as Applejack and Aria rolled around in the parking lot and exchanging blows once more. “STOP CHEWING ON MY HAIR!” Adagio cried. “But there’s still bits of TAC-OW and delicious NACH-OW cheese in it!” Sonata replied. Sunset turned to stare at Flash. Flash stood by his car and looked at the various scenes in front of him, his face communicating quite clearly he had no idea of what to do about any of it. With a resolute expression on her face, Sunset marched over to Flash and laid her back on the asphalt next to Flash’s boots. She stuck her head right behind the front driver side tire of the car, not caring that the various sauces in her hair were now mixing with the dirt in the parking lot. “Alright, Flash. Get back in that car and throw it into reverse!” “WHAT?! Sunset I’m not—” “Come on, Flash!” Sunset cried. “Be my mercy angel!”