• Member Since 9th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 16th, 2018



Derpy Hooves. Loveable goofball, caring mother, dedicated mailpony.

Of course, few ponies know what she really does for a living.

Now available in Czech translation!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 96 )

She wasn’t allowed to be around diabetics anymore since the incident.

Sudden cases of HNNNNNGGGG were off the charts for a while. :twilightoops:

Last I heard she was wondering if it’d be inappropriate to dump all the money in a tub and roll around in it like a dragon. She’s fine.”

:ajsmug: :rainbowlaugh:

Spike ‘I’m certainly not crushing on this pony’ the Dragon

:moustache: :duck: :facehoof:

As this was Fluttershy and not Pinkie Pie, she clearly wasn’t trying to outstare the sun.

:pinkiecrazy:: That only happened the one time!
:facehoof::And you were in the hospital for a week...

All in all this was pretty good stuff, and a fun insight into what could potentially be going on for our favorite mailmare. :twilightsmile:

I really enjoyed this; some slice of life in my day was very good, especially with the small meta inserts and the ending twist. Really enjoyable.

First, Bubblecup could be a possible name for Derpy/Ditzy Doo.
Second, rubies are tacky huh? So the Fire Ruby that Spike gave to Rarity was tacky?

3927884 The fire ruby was an exquisite gemstone of extremely high quality, and a deeply personal, loving gift.

Ordering a bunch of dresses and demanding that they be covered with enough cheap gems to blind a crowd is tacky.

Wow... there's a Derpy x Fancy Pants shipping story that could spin off of this little world you've created here, and it would be totally adorable. It has been hinted in some AUs that he's Dinky's father...

Okay Im a bit confused at what her job was :derpyderp1:

“Or is it ‘break a wing’? I’m not sure if that superstition applies here.”

Rainbow Dash broke her wing later that day


So, Derpy is an incognito Trenderhooves?

Yet another random derpy fanfic where she has a weird job. Still good.:derpytongue2:

Last I heard [Applejack] was wondering if it’d be inappropriate to dump all the money in a tub and roll around in it like a dragon.

I so need to see some art of this!


Love the fix! Had a bunch if great little nuances in it. Derpy really shined.:derpytongue2:

I hope you're a girl, cause' I think I love you now. I freaking love Derpy Hooves, and this story was nothing short of brilliance.

And you're in the Popular section with me! AWESOME! Well done on the story! Encore! Bravo!

Will you do more stories like this in the future?

Once again, well done, friend! I loved this story, and now I shall Follow you, Like and Fave this story, and listen to the Derp Face song!


No, not really, but I love this story!

Derpy Hooves is a professional informant.....
Probably because she can focus on two separate things at the same time. :rainbowlaugh:

I definitely like the concept of multiple names, as it helps explain so much.
Wonderful work...

As this was Fluttershy and not Pinkie Pie, she clearly wasn’t trying to outstare the sun.

The contest between Celestia and Pinkie went on for days!:pinkiecrazy::derpyderp2: However alicorns can go longer without sleep, who knew right?:pinkiehappy::twilightsheepish:

Sees Lyra on cover art.
No Lyra character tag.

Will read this later though.

That was... a pretty surprising twist ending. Definitely wasn't expecting that, but it definitely works out in her favor. Clever!

Oh my god! This.Was.So.Awesome!:rainbowkiss:

3927570 3927817 3928634 3929239 3930565 3930830
Very happy to hear you liked it!

3928185 I'm leaving it ambiguous for the time being. Unanswered questions can be used for plot points in the future, and I see no reason to answer them before their time, y'know?

3928597 Basically, she keeps an eye out for interesting events and pass the info on to Fancy Pants so he can make a profit by being early to the table. Sudden changes in the market, sudden new fashion trends, a local flier joining a prestigious flying group, that sort of thing. There's probably a term for it.

3931179 Sorry for the false information. If it's any consolation, most characters appearing in the story didn't get a tag since they don't play major roles.

3931705 What fun is there if you can figure out what's going on from the very start?

One of these days I should write a twist ending that Twist was behind everything. A Twist twist! :twistnerd:

3930411 Thank you for your enthusiastic approval and love. I shall treasure it always. And yes, I noticed it blipped through the popular stories list while I was asleep. I guess those were my fifteen minutes of fame.

Further stories as my muse dictates. I do love writing, but inspiration is sporadic and scattered. So no promises.

Saw the comments, wondered what the deal was.

Took a read...

"Well, I don't see what the b-- Oh. I didn't expect that."


Approved. Nice work, bud.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Well, that was a wonderfully written story! Nice take on the Mailmare job and I love the view on Derpy here! Have a fav and a thumbs up! If only I could give you more, this story deserves to be featured, and more!

3932290 :pinkiegasp:

Really? Thank you! I'm honored.

3932391 Reader satisfaction is more than enough. Thank you!

3932181 Fifteen minutes of fame that I personally feel put my story to shame, mate. Like I said, excellent work, and whatever your next story will be, I'll be one of the first viewers. You can count on my support!

Unexpected. That makes it awesome.

The entire time, I was unsure as to what I should expect. Is it a feel-good story about Derpy in the mail service? Is Derpy ending up as a Changeling spy? I found the conclusion original and satisfactory, and every sentence until that point was gentle, intriguing, and well-worded.
Keep up the good work.

DAMN! I was NOT expecting Derpy to be such a badass corporate espionage agent! ;P

I mean, I guess she really isn't, but still! XD

Oh, and:
Yeah, at the end, I thought for sure she was a changeling!!! XD


Dude, I see you commenting everywhere, and you're unfailingly polite and well spoken. Kudos on that, I must say.

I often wish I could comment more, but alas...I can never seem to think of much to say. :twilightblush:

As to this story, since a comment must needs be relevant to the subject at hand? Well done! I didn't see that ending coming, and all I could think when I was done was "I can see it. I can totally see it." Nicely done, Mooncalf~! :pinkiehappy:

It's always the ones you least expect. :trollestia:


Indeed, indeed. A Twist twist would be something like her being the scout that the Princesses use for information on how Twilight's doing concerning her studies, which is why Celestia knows so much about what's going on. But of course, that'd require Twist to be someone with an insanely high IQ.

I think you could pull it off, though.

I loved this! Good job tying in the inconsistencies with fanon vs. canon names, and it had a lighthearted feel that seemed just like an actual epusode.

Sone of the dialog reminded me of Derpy's Dismal Day (can't remember the full title off the top of my head), and I couldn't help but wonder if the "Bright Eyes" was a reference to Muffins from the Pony Psychology series.

Liked and upvoted

3934036 Thank you.

The way I see it, a bit of positive feedback and constructive criticism can only help. Even if it's just "Hey, I like this!" If no one cares about your story, you might decide it's not worth continuing. We have enough abandoned stories already, no need to pile up more.

And if some helpful remarks help fix a problem, hey, better story. Am I right?

3933740 3933861 Good to hear. My writing must be improving. I was worried about the pacing at first.

Hmm, never really considered that Derpy might have seemed to be a changeling. Was it the excessively loving family scene at the beginning? Could've been fun, but it's been done so many times already.

3934777 Isn't that Owlowicious' job, though?

No, Twist is clearly watching over Spike, the heir to the Dragon Dynasty, who is raised among the ponies in the hopes of reviving the true dragon honor. See, she assumes her true form for a while in "Dragon Quest" to test his heart for purity.


Wut. Ok, I'm missing something from that mental image, sorry. I guess you mean that gem-encrusted crazy dragon from the migration?

3935089 Thanks! Lighthearted happy Derpy is more fun than sad overworked suffering Derpy, as far as I'm concerned. Sure, sad stories can be enjoyable for that 'want to hug her and tell her it's going to get better' feel, but it seems a tad sketchy to have to invent reasons for her to be miserable about first.

"Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day". Sweet story. It may have influenced my interpretation of her, as may several others. I... read a lot. Come to think of it, "Muffin" may have influenced this even more. That one's good too.

"Bright Eyes" was a fan nickname for her back in the early days. Not a bad name, although a bit plain in my opinion. Which is why she's using it in her professional dealings.

3935232 No, Crackle is a true royal dragon. Unlike the other degenerates attending. She was there to get a good look at her potential future husband, obviously.


If you seriously make that crackship work, it'd surprise me. Really, really surprise me.

Interesting concept, but I think you chose the wrong pony for the job. Derpy is so far out of character, both for the show and for the fandom, that I feel like it might be a Team Fortress 2 Spy. You might have placed some other public figure in this role and had it work better. Cheerilee, for example, speaks to everypony with children and would likely hear the going's-ons as much as any bartender. Big Macintosh, at least fanon-wise, has the mostly undivided attention of the female populous-- easy to sweet-talk with, no doubt. Even somepony as obvious as Twilight, who has literally tried to keep track of everything before, might suite such an interesting concept. I think Derpy is best left innocent and happy-go-lucky. I have a very hard time imagining her being a mastermind string-puller, aiding the big wigs of Canterlot.


3936526 Well, let me see if I can refute your arguments.

Relying solely on information from children wouldn't be enough. They don't know that much about things, and might exaggerate or make things up, thus providing questionable data. Cheerilee could ask other ponies, but that's the same as what Derpy does, so no improvement. Also, teaching is very time-consuming and the kids are supposed to study and not gossip, while mail delivery gives countless opportunities for innocent gossiping.

Big Mac may be popular with the mares, but I don't see him inspiring them to gossip with him. Ask him to move heavy furniture, yes - regale him with interesting information, no. And like Cheerilee he has a job that takes up a lot of time, in his case on a farm where the only other ponies are his nearest family and the occasional visitor. Also, his sister might get curious as to why he's being such a gossip half the time and being Mr Eeyup with her, and how long do you think his lies will stand against the Element of Honesty?

Twilight? Aside from the fact that she has a canonically clarified occupation taking up her time, she's far too devoted to Celestia to want to take up something like this. She's also rather socially awkward, and with her rather prominent position ponies are going to be wondering if she's gathering information for the Princess. Also, it's very likely that Celestia will find out that Fancy Pants is paying her on a steady basis and ask what that's all about.

Now if you had suggested Pinkie, I would have conceded the option.

The point here is that in this story, Derpy has a cover job that allows her to meet ponies every day and get about everywhere without raising questions, and a persona that helps others dismiss suspicion when she probes for info. You can hardly say she's acting out of character, because she's acting exactly the way she does on the show when others are watching. And we don't know what she's doing when no one's watching, do we?

Also, the secret of her job was supposed to be a twist reveal; it being unexpected was intentional. Am I to assume from your reaction that I succeeded in my goal?


Fair enough, that. I'm just glad there are authors like you in this community. Authors who don't mind a comment as simple as mine, that don't really say much.

Especially since you write good stories, too. :rainbowwild:


Didn't really need to write an essay, there. :trixieshiftright:

Its not so much a twist ending as it is an "out of left field" ending,
And not really, no, Derpy's acting more than normal. Her dialogue is plain, her body-language and clumsiness un-touched-upon, and the general way her character acts is just off.

It's just not my cup of tea, you don't have to defend yourself. :unsuresweetie:

I'm trying to think of something witty to say, but frankly I just like this story.

Didn't see that coming, and it's great because of that fact. I freaking like it even if it could cause diabetic comas or something.:pinkiehappy:
Derpy as a scout/agent is a very interesting take on Derpy. Very plausible too.:twilightsmile:

Good job on this. Not only did I not see the ending coming, but you also got me to laugh aloud at a couple parts.

Well done, I did not see that comming.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

Despite -- or perhaps because -- of my usual takes on Derpy, I have to say I really, really liked this. It was well written and really just a fun read plus I did NOT see that coming at the end. Excellent job!

Brilliant idea, I'm looking forward to more. Always refreshing to see something different on this site.

Okay, this is pretty clever and a great way to explain Derpy being... derpy.

I've just started running into several stories with Genius Derpy. I love it.

Dragonfire candles were really, really expensive, but they did offer quick and secure messaging across great distances, in case you, for instance, needed to send a letter to a business associate in Canterlot. For instance.

I'd normally call out the redundancy, but it feels like it's for whimsical effect rather than an oversight.

This is a brilliant idea! It's siubtle, original, and would be awesome to see a sequel for this.

that ending makes SO much sence when applied to Derpy it's terrifying:twilightoops:

3940348 did ANY of us see THAT ending coming?:pinkiecrazy:

LOVE ON THE DERP:scootangel:

That was a cute little Derpy one-shot. Really enjoyed your writing style. I got a solid Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day vibe from this. :derpytongue2:

I did twig early on to the story's "twist" when you mentioned the name "Bright Eyes". I do not know if it was intentional or not, but it reminded me of SaddlesoapOpera's Pony Psychology Series.

Please take my thumb and star. :twilightsmile:


I couldn't help but wonder if the "Bright Eyes" was a reference to Muffins from the Pony Psychology series.


"Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day". Sweet story. It may have influenced my interpretation of her, as may several others. I... read a lot. Come to think of it, "Muffin" may have influenced this even more. That one's good too.

Ach! Ninja'd! :applecry:
Already mentioned and discussed earlier...


I got a solid Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day vibe from this. :derpytongue2:

Overall--I didn't mention this in my comment, since I was on my tablet and the UI sucks)--but overall, I got more of a Going Up vibe from the story.

Ach! Ninja'd!

Nothing wrong with a second mention of a good story or two:pinkiehappy:. Both of those were influential in how I saw Derpy, and how I've written her in my own stories.

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