• Member Since 14th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen May 24th, 2018

GrizzlytheMedic


I put out fires, write stories, other fun stuff in between too~

T

This story is a sequel to Kindness is Key


Calvin is now the proud father of a pre-started family. Dinky Hooves and her sister Sparkler, the daughters of Derpy Hooves, have turned their trust to their new father in the hopes that he can help them out with their everyday troubles

Rated T for mild shenanigans and innuendos

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 28 )

This is great. Its a great way to start a sequal.:derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpyderp2::derpyderp2:

You have my attention on this chapter. Keep up the good work. :pinkiehappy:

F*** Firestorm up!:derpyderp1:(nicely):derpytongue2: Then go f*** Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon up!

"You picked the wrong dad to mess with, punk!"

“Hey pal, why don’t you and I come downstairs for a little talk?”

i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll218/HikoTanifuga/Dumb%20Pictures/chris-hansen-2.jpg

tracking this story

Great start, keep it up:twilightsmile:
I also saw a funny thing, where yoy called Dinky "Dunky":rainbowlaugh:

“Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.” Dunky mumbled.

First chapter is out. If it doesn't do well, I think I might cancel it, but leave it up.

Dont be so hard on your self. :twilightsmile:

This is excellent Im really looking forward to see where you go with this. I never know what to expect next This and Kindness is Key are the only Derpy x Human stories I have read that don't suck please continue it. :twilightsmile:

Amazing! Simply marvelous, darling. :raritystarry: i simply must see more.
That was me trying to be Rarity. I will never do that again. It feels weird calling anyone darling, let alone another dude.
But that's not the point. The point is, i loved this, and i'm looking forward to more.

This chapter soared beyond my expectations! Freaking AWESOME chapter! :twilightsmile:

5825671 I did read it in her voice so it worked lol

Ok there are a couple of things that need addressing, the first one being the fact that ou don't pace yourself. In your previous story, which don't get me wrong was quite good, it seems like you completely rushed through it without giving much attention to detail. That story, ''Kindness is Key'', should have been at minimum 30000 words. You rush way too hard to the point, describe things a bit more to detail before going into things.

Now the other thing is the fact that there are no separations between scenes. Now unless the characters have the hability to go from one place to another in the space of a few seconds, or just plainly teleport,( in which case it would be fine), unfortunately that isn't like so. It makes up for some weird situations. You need to start adding transitions to your stories.

All in all it's good, but keep an eye on these things.

5832902
Thank you for the advice

I like it so far keep it up see you next chapter if you continue it which I hope you do:twilightsmile:

This is promising. I very rarely track anything based on the first chapter and even rarer when the story doesn't have even 5000 words but you managed to make me ignore both those rules. Congratulations. Now I just have to wait for the next chapter.

5833242 can you please do the next chapter? I really like this story.

Where the next chapter Dx

6227888
I understand your frustration, however, I have a lot more in my life than writing fanfiction now. It's still on hold for a while. Good things come to those who wait after all.

6228118 your story is alright in my book if you like I can give you a description of mist my oc if you want to use him in any of your stories

Good chapters keep it up

Hmm, So far so good. I like It!:twilightsmile:

Can you do more please

This is a good start, you are planning on continuing with the story because I am very interested in it, please say yes:fluttercry:

I liked this so far

Great start can you plz continue with the story I can't wait to see what happens next's :raritystarry:

I can't wait! (Literally)

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