Dear Moondancer:
I think I should warn you: Twilight has a rare form of alicorn STD which has no known cure. Have fun!
~Princess Celestia.
P.S.: I’ve currently found myself with a surplus of romance novels, and thus I have decided to give the ones I can spare to you. Once again, have fun!
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
On second thought, I’m perfectly happy living my life as a friendless loser. You know, like somepony I know.
And besides, that book trick you showed me can keep me happy for as long as I live. Especially with all those smutty books the Princess just gave me.
~Moondancer.
P.S.: Flash Sentry and your brother both agree that I’m hotter than you.
Dear Minuette:
Twilight fired me a week ago. I’m just messing with people now.
~Spike.
Dear Lyra:
Why would I want to invite you? You’re a sicko with a human fetish.
~Twilight.
Dear Twilight:
Oh yeah, and what about you and your mirror world adventures? Yeah, I know about them, and I’ve seen what you’ve been doing with Sunset Shimmer. And you call me a sicko?!
~Lyra Heartstrings
Dear Sunset Shimmer:
Do you mind if I drop off a friend dangerous terrorist in your world? I’m certain that your world is more than capable of handling anything she can do against you.
~Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Starlight Glimmer:
I know you want to bang my sexy plot, but you’re a wanted criminal. Why are you spending so much time hanging out in the open like that? Get a better disguise!
~Princess Twilight Sparkle
P.S.: I should warn you that if you get caught, I shall make sure that justice is served. Sweet, sweet justice. And I can guarantee that I will make you scream. Oh yes, you will scream.
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Not gonna lie Celestia, dick move. Then again, seeing as Twilight is, less than agreeable here, she kinda deserves it.
She, has a point.
Oh god the implications...
If the rumors about Starlight Glimmer becoming reformed and Twilight's apprentice are true, I get the feeling we'll see a bunch of TwilightxStarlight clop fics pop up.
Dear Princess Celestibrains,
Brains brains, brains-brains brains—Nah, I am just fucking with you. I did have a slight case of zombiism, but I got better thanks to Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle. Apparently I am more useful to her as a living being than as an unstoppable, undead, rotting, walking corpse with super strength who hungry for her gigantic, beautiful, delicious brains. Can you do that? Can you turn a zombie back into a living brains—being? Okay, I do sometimes brains—slip back into zombie mode. Brains those instances are getting fewer and farther brains—between.
Brains Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and
general of her secret zombie army,Neko Majin Brains.
~KBO.