After my grandfather passed away I inherited a strange staff from him. I discovered that the staff gave me strange visions of a place I had to go to. I experienced visions, day and night, and in the end I decided to follow them to see where they would take me. I did not expect to be taken away from Earth and sent to a place that defies everything I know, and I certainly did not expect to hear that not all the members of my family were human.

Editors are lordofchaos14, Joyjay, The Invisible Man and JBL.

Warning: Contains small amounts of Anthro. Equestria Girls did not happen in this story.

My first fic posted here, told from a 1st person perspective. Rated Teen to begin with, this may change as more ideas develop, but I'll try my best to keep it Teen.

This story is a sequel to Necromancy For Foals

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash find themselves drawn by the call of the cutie map to a jungle in the middle of nowhere. Drawn further by the knowledge of an ancient temple, they are confronted with icy cold and a sense of dread.

A Necromancer was sealed away in this temple a thousand years ago.

Now, he is waking up...

((Sequel to Necromancy for Foals. Artwork by The-Minuscule-Task on Tumblr.))

Twilight and Shining Armor have a little sister named Light Step. Everypony tells Light Step how lucky she is to be related to such great heroes.

Light Step wishes she could smother them both.

A damaged robot pony, unlike anything ever seen in pre-industrial Equestria, is found in the orchard. Before it collapses, it says only two words: "Twilight Sparkle..."

Twilight fixes the mechanical mare and gives her a new directive: "Make friends." Now a robot must learn what it takes to be a good friend and, while she's at it, what it means to live...

Featured on Equestria Daily (11/22/15) and The Goodfic Bin! (3/20/16)!
Featuring illustrations by Colby Green (Illustration Gallery found HERE.)
Editors: GaPJaxie,The Knight Templar, GenerousGhibli, E3gner, and Reese.
Technical Consultants: Artichoke Lust and JFalk.

Now with its own TV Tropes page!

A human has arrived in Ponyville that the Apples dubbed, "Anonymous."
Twilight is worried he might be dangerous. They know nothing about him after all. However, the Apples still treat him like a common pet, until he begins mimicking speech.

Anon's dead, apparently, and Death has come to claim his soul. There's just one problem: he doesn't want to go. And there's nothing Death can do to make him.

Rainbow Dash: the most confident, cool, radical, and Awesome pony in all of Equestria. With a reputation like that, one could stand to assume that nothing would possibly scare Ponyville's premier daredevil.

And one would be right!

In fact, it was with this confidence that Rainbow was setting off to ask out the absolute love of her life. She was calm, she was collected, she was the very definition of cool under pressure. Fear of rejection? Hay no! She was Rainbow Dash for Celestia's sake.

Rainbow Dash didn't get nervous.

You will be Fluttershy, and you will have difficulty facing what will happen to Twilight.

(This fic was written in response to a kind-of-sort-of challenge... dare... thing... from an Equestria Daily pre-reader.)

“You know how when you're at a party, and you use what you didn't realize was a magic letter to Princess Celestia to roll a joint?
I guess maybe that's not, uh, a thing, but yeah, I did that this one time. It was at that huge party Shannon and Adam had a while back. You know, Max's friends? …No, Celestia's not one of—They wouldn't know each other...
But anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering why I'm all like, a girl unicorn now, that was kinda the short version.”

Meet Rob, a 27 year old musician who gets more than he bargained blah blah blah
Get a front-row seat in his brain for the Long Version, as he wracks it trying to weasel out of being a pony, or at least not let anything slip by as he takes it one freaky moment at a time.

What will the other lost-weekenders think when they walk in on him passed out on their couch? Will he be able to get through the city and at least back to his apartment, if not to normal? Will he learn anything about REAL friendship along the way and stop being such an insufferable hipster? What if some blowhard fan author just couldn't “turn it off” and ended up trying to write a pony story as actual sci-fi? Will Ahuizotl get the statue? Does P=NPony? Can you grab me another beer while you're up?
And did that letter ever get to Princess Celestia?
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Your standard pony Trip Report, with your standard pseudo-autobiographical narrator, written to flush out my creative plumbing and play around with, uh, like, good...thinkies and word-putting, and because the urge to do it just wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to get it outta my system. I just really like the juxtaposition of humans and ponies, I guess.

Title is obviously a reference to M-Theory and Tristram Shandy, respectively. Because I can never pick just one thing.

Rated T for Adult Situations, gratuitous overthinking, and fuckloads of swearing. Oh and I guess drug use.

PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE: DEAD AT 18

TELEPORTATION INVARIABLY FATAL, WARNS LEADING SCHOLAR

One look at the headline of the Canterlot Times and Twilight knew that she should have slept in today. But at least none of her friends would be silly enough to believe she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi