Human After All
Hey folks, just letting you know that this chapter was originally uploaded as an April Fool's joke chapter. In other words, it's a non-canon bit of silliness that isn't part of the story. If you're up for that, please enjoy it. If not, feel free to skip over it and go to the next chapter, provided it's been uploaded. Thanks for indulging me!
Anyway, the title is another in a long line of Daft Punk references. It was too perfect to not use it. 
I still might do a real Equestria Girls side story, but I couldn't resist the chance to have a little fun with the idea. Hope you're not too mad, and much love to my illustrator for coming up with the illustration so quickly after the turnaround on the last chapter.
UPDATE: ...Oh, wait, I actually did do an EQG story. The real "Human After All" can be found here, but be warned: it takes place after this story. Thar be spoilers, matey.
See you next time!
Turing Test trotted into one of the many rooms of the castle and found Twilight hunched over a book, eagerly scribbling something onto the page. More noticeable, of course, was the huge mass of machinery in the center of the room. Plugs and wires and Luna’s Ladders and numerous other gadgets were all hooked together. And in the center of it all was a tall, oval mirror.
“Twilight Sparkle, you wished to see me?” Turing Test asked.
Twilight glanced up from her writing. “Oh, you’re here!” she replied, smiling at her. She turned to the book again, her quill continuing to scribble as she held it with her magic. “Just a moment, Turing. I’m finishing writing a message to my friend.”
Turing cocked her head at that. “A message? That is a book, Twilight Sparkle. Perhaps you should exercise more brevity for the sake of your friend.”
Twilight chuckled at that. “No, Turing. This book is a magic tome linked to another book that my friend has. When I write a message in it, she can see it, and vice-versa!”
“That is a very useful creation. Are such books common?”
Twilight paused. “Um, no, actually.”
“That is regrettable. The ability to instantaneously send messages to another instantly would be of great benefit to Equestrian society.”
Twilight glanced up from her book, blinked, then turned back to it. “I guess you have a point, Turing. It sort of makes you wonder why they aren’t everywhere.”
“It would be preferable to having Spike the Dragon expel Princess Celestia’s letters from his mouth by belching. You should inform Gadget of this medium. It might cause her to cease her inquiries about the communicative properties of his other orifices.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I think Spike and I would both appreciate that.”
She finished her writing and closed her book.
“Okay, then! Well, Turing, I just finished sending a message to my friend Sunset Shimmer! She’s going to help us do a little research!”
Turing Test’s ears lifted. “Research? On what subject?”
“I’m glad you asked!” Twilight said, walking over to the machinery around the mirror. “Sunset Shimmer was once a student of Princess Celestia, just like I am! Or, um, was. Anyway, the point is that she actually lives in a different world that can be accessed through this mirror!”
She pointed a hoof at the mirror, smiling brightly at Turing Test.
“Another world? Do you mean that she now resides in an alternate version of Equestria?”
“No, that’s a different mirror.”
“Such a mirror exists? Where is it?”
“Eh, it’s canon to the comics, don’t worry about it,” Twilight said, waving a hoof. “Look the point is, Sunset lives in a strange world where ponies are not the dominant life form. Instead, tall, two-legged simian creatures called ‘humans’ run everything! And when ponies go through the mirror, they transform into humans themselves! Spike and I have been a few times.”
“Spike the Dragon is a dragon. They also become humans?”
“Oh, no, Spike becomes a dog.”
Turing tilted her head. “What would occur if a dog, such as Applejack’s pet Winona, were to travel through the mirror?”
Twilight opened her mouth, froze, and finally shut it, rubbing her chin. “Huh. Good question…” She shook her head, putting it out of mind. “Look, the point is that humans don’t appear to use magic or anything like that. Instead, they have extremely advanced technology. The computer that Dr. Turing was working on here in Equestria is incredibly outdated and slow compared to human computers. They even have these tiny devices you can carry in your hand--”
“Hoof.”
“No, no, humans have hands.”
“That is interesting. I must inform my friend Lyra.”
“No, Turing, you can’t!” Twilight cried, dashing over to her. “We can’t let anypony outside our group of friends know about this! If human technology got into the hooves of the wrong ponies, it could be disastrous!”
Turing bowed her head. “Understood. I will not reveal this information to anypony.”
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Glad to hear it.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, the point is that humans have such amazing technology, and I wonder if maybe they have anything comparable to you!”
Turing Test’s eyes momentarily contracted and she put a hoof to her chest. “You are indicating that other robots may exist in that world? Twilight Sparkle, that would be incredible. I would like to meet them and discuss our mutual experiences as artificial life forms.”
Twilight’s expression grew serious. “Uh, I’m not actually sure if robots exist over there. But I wonder… you’re so advanced, Turing, that nothing in Equestria compares to you. It’s a long shot, but it’s possible that you could be based on human technology that somehow found its way to Equestria.”
Turing was silent, not reacting to this information in the slightest at first. Then, slowly, she turned to the mirror, staring at it. “Technology from another world? You believe that my origins may not be Equestrian in nature?”
“It’s possible, but I don’t see how the technology could have made it here unless it came through this mirror.” Twilight frowned, furrowing her brow. “Unless there’s another way into the human world that we don’t know about.”
She sighed, but offered Turing Test a smile. “Enough talk. Turing Test, I’m going to meet Sunset Shimmer over there in just a few minutes. I’m not sure what will happen, but if you’d like to come with me, I’d like you to meet her as well.”
Turing tapped her chin, her ears shifting as she thought that over. At last, she replied, “I cannot let the opportunity to investigate a possible origin pass me by. I will accompany you.”
“Wonderful!” Twilight exclaimed, clapping her hooves together. “Then let’s get going!”
That said, she placed her magical journal on the pedestal above the mirror and turned the devices on. The machinery began to move, the energy from the book diffusing through the wires and bulbs, until at last the mirror lit up, the reflective properties giving way to a strange, swirling portal.
“It’s ready!” Twilight exclaimed. “Come on, Turing, follow me!”
Without another word, she leaped into the portal, Turing Test following right behind her.
There was the usual sickening lurch as she traversed the distance between her world and the next, but then she felt her body shift as she stepped through it and into the fresh air outside Canterlot High.
She felt her hind legs, now her only legs, carry her as she stepped forward to catch herself. The momentum from the portal could sometimes be tricky, but she was getting progressively better at coping with it.
“Whew!” she said, standing to her full height. “I’ll never quite get used to that!”
She stretched out her arms, wiggling her fingers. She chuckled at them, as they still struck her as odd. Still, they had their uses, even if she wasn’t perfect at using them. Perhaps Turing Test would have more luck with her new appendages.
She heard a clattering behind her and gasped, her eyes lighting up with glee. At last, she was going to see what Turing Test looked like as a human! She whirled around.
There was nothing in front of her but thin air and the portal back to Equestria.
“Turing?” Twilight asked, looking to the left and right, but only seeing the front lawn of Canterlot High and the black pavement of the human street before her. “Turing, where are you?”
“I am here, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight immediately glanced down at the voice. She gawked, her jaw dropping and her voice catching in her throat.
“T...Turing?!” she managed to say.
At her feet was not a robot, but a toaster with purple eyes and a tuft of polymer coils for a tail balanced on four nubby feet.
“Hello, Twilight Sparkle. Would you like some breakfast?”
“Turing Test?!” Twilight shouted.
“Negative. I am now designated as ‘Turing Toast.’ Warning: Primary directive ‘Make friends,’ has been altered. Primary directive is now ‘Make toast.’”
“Toast?”
“Understood. Please insert bread.”
“No, I mean… gah, never mind!”
Just then, the sound of footsteps was heard and a red and yellow-haired girl ran over to them.
“Twilight!” Sunset exclaimed, throwing her arms around Twilight. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“So am I, Sunset!” Twilight said, returning the hug. “Well, mostly.”
“Mostly?” Sunset asked, raising an eyebrow as she pulled away. “How so? And where’s your friend, Turing Test?”
“Turing Toast.”
Sunset glanced down, her eyes going wide as Twilight smacked her own forehead.
“That’s the amazing robot you were telling me about?!”
“She didn’t used to be a toaster!”
“Well, what the heck are we supposed to do with her now?!” Sunset demanded.
“I will tell you what you’re supposed to do,” Turing replied. “Put some bread in me and we can get this party started. Come, my friends, who wants to get toasted?”
Sunset’s eye twitched, but at last she heaved a sigh. “Well… I think they sell Pop Tarts in the cafeteria.”
Turing was quiet for a moment, but then her voice turned icy. “B
ch, did I tell you my name is Turing ‘Tart?’ No, I did not think so.”
Twilight picked up her toasty friend and gave an apologetic look to Sunset Shimmer. “I’m so sorry for all this, Sunset.”
But Sunset Shimmer just smiled. “Aw, don’t worry about it, sexy. It’s not like any of this is canon.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it!”
HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S FOAL’S DAY, FOLKS!
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I want to reference Fallout New Vegas Toaster, but I forgot most of what he say. All I remember that world domination and scrapping toaster.
Man, should have figured. Two suggestions: 1, please make an actual Equestria Girls arc, the possibility that Turing actually was made at least partially with earth technology is something that Twilight would at least consider, and Turing at CHS would be too funny not to read, to say nothing of Sci Twi's reaction. 2, instead of a blog post, maybe you should make this its own one shot story, like 'The Iron Ho-ho-Horse'?
7084240 I'm pretty sure that's all he said.
I will admit, seeing Turing as a toaster was pretty funny, as for the Equestrian Girls side story that sound pretty good, also it would be nice to what Turning would look like as a human (if she does turn into a human).
An intelligent robot toaster who believes that it's only goal in life is to make toast and is also capable of the groundbreaking ability to be a d***, is this perhaps a reference to Red Dwarf?
Are you sure you've not been watching more red dwarf ?
Equestria Girls? Nice!
Poor Turing...
What?
I know that this is a April Fool Joke... but the first half showed the potential of a Equestria Girls Arc (or Side Story - that is a good option too!) for Turing's story - after all, it would be interesting if both Twilight and Turing know our world's feelings towards intelligent machines...
And Cantelot High have seen She-Demons, Mind-controlling Sirens and a near Portal Apocalpyse... a humanoid robot would be commonplace
And we would see Turing and Sunset interact!
derpicdn.net/img/2015/3/4/841805/medium.png
7084231 I was going to post a string of Rainbow Dash laughing faces, but you beat me to it.
Aaand, congrats on the feature, good sir!
Cute picture!
Oh dear, it seems my mere existence has strange effects on Turing Test.
XP Great addition
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
I hope I was inspiration for this.
TURING TOAST IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING EVER.
7084425 since April Fools chapter.
I'm torn between being annoyed because it's April Fools and being surprised that an April Fools chapter on Fimfiction actually got a chuckle out of me.
I hate this day.
7084466 I'd imagine the faces of everyone present when Turing Test comes out of the portal looking like one of the Terminator models(maybe with a feminine shape though).
theoretically, the mirror probably can do that - converting magic-casting machine into a simple machine as good as it could convert.
is Turing toast forever?
Amusing, but I still fell obligated to boo and throw popcorn.
BOOOOOO
*throws popcorn*
7084572 I'm thinking T806, no exo-skin.
What if Turing had turned into a Terminator?
I was waiting for her to turn into an Iphone but this is great!
This actually makes sense, it would be funny if some of her black box stuff is actually an Ipod or something. I would highly recommend Turing gets to visit CHS at least once for real in the story. It would be interesting to see if the Dazzlings' magic would work on her or not. I can just see her punching them out to protect Twilight.
Scroll to the bottom of the page to see what Turing COULD have ended up as and watch it in action at 34 seconds
The perfect song for this chapter:
7084713
AUTHOR, get over here and write a side chapter based on this idea!
You dirty Dwarfer....
"Eh, it’s canon to the comics, don’t worry about it"
Ah, this is going to be that sort of joke chapter, then. :)
"left and right, but only seeing"
Ought that comma to be there?
...
...Well.
:D
...Though also kind of horrifying, after some thought, to have the mirror alter things to such a degree for unknown reasons. Who knows what else it might do, and yet they use it so casually...
"was heard and a"
"heard, and"?
"red and yellow-haired"
"red-and-yellow-haired"?
...Aaaaand this seems to be going increasingly strange. :D
And there's the end, before things could get even crazier. :)
7084735 but infiltrators are supposed to be cute, so, no more than usual, right?
Oh god.
7084946 the T806 is essentially the child version.
http://terminator.wikia.com/wiki/T-806
Hey folks, artists here, your all awesome and you are welcome for this, though it was kind of a rush job for me, not so much for the writer who is very talented and obsessed and stuff.
O and SPudRum, don't you worry, when he told me about this i linked him a video of the Fallout toaster dialogue.
...you already read that, i was reading the thread backwards, i'm a special pony/panda/human/turtle
7086085 You have to click the reply button on the top right corner of someone's post for them to get notified of your reply, amigo.
Awwwwwwwww. Someone posted the red dwarf bit before I even got to this chapter.
April Fool's day chapters are fun.
A nice joke, certainly, and well executed. However, I think it could still have been improved by adding another element to it. After all, didn't you say that after the Applejack arc would come the shipping arc?
(Also, next year we would get the double date: Sunset Shimmer x Turing Toast and Rainbow Dash x Sink)
It was April fools day, Everyone has the right to prank anyone. To me if Turing Test was in the human version; She look like a normal human on the outside but her bones are metal, like a cyborg from Cyborg 009. Her hopes for eyelids and eating will come true. (I hope, not to criticize but it's the author's decision to write his story.)
7086264 I really want to see a equestria girls side story (without turing toast) it would make my day.
7085707 Uh.... Where did you get that conclusion from?
What I'm saying is that in canon, Twilight is supposed to be a peer of Celestia and Luna, as a fellow princess. As the newest princess there's still something of a heirarchy, so she's likely to defer to Celestia in situations where they disagree, but she also has the right and privege to argue her case and try and change Celestia's mind if she thinks she's wrong. That's what peer means, you treat others as your equal, with equal respect.
This is a fanfic and non-canon, obviously. So if the author wants Celestia to have a veto over all the other Princesses actions, and can countermand their orders no matter what they say about it, then that is one of the elements that disagrees with canon. She's actually a sole monarch, with the other princesses just being part of the Royal famiily. Which means that since the events of Equestria Girls happened, and Celestia stated during that that Twilight was now her equal, that Celestia was lying througfh her teeth when she said that. In this universe, I say nothing about canon.
All i have to say about this is......The Hat Man, you magnificent bastard!!
I did not see this one coming and i loved it Looking forward to what you have in store for us next.
Question. I remember one episode of TNG in which Data constructs a daughter using his own positronic network as a base. If they ever figure out how Turing's brain works, is there a chance of a similar story arc?
7094311 That is a great episode. Makes me cry, though.
Anyway, I don't want to speculate about what will or won't happen in the future. I'd rather let the story progress and people can see the directions it goes.
Sorry!
7100486 Ohhhh... Well it's making me feel, just like how Iron Giant did, soooo... HEADCANONS AHOY!
... I AGREE WITH THIS TROLL!!!
7104610 What troll?
7104684 Oh sorry, I meant the April
FoolsFoals gagWhat if she had become the other kind of toaster? That would have been kinda interesting, or not, it would probably have been kinda boring.
(I'm talking about cylons if you didn't get it.)
7108259 Funny how important people get such huge biographies
But it warms my historian heart to see such references done so well.
Aww...now I seriously want to see a human robot Turing Test...that isn't based around real robots that loo either humanly creepy or not like humans at all and are just vaguely humanoid.
7117249 I haven't read far yet, but I ment, the Robot knew Twilight's name, and that got me thinking, "how..?" Time travel is a thing in Equestria, so maybe Twilight sent it back through time, to herself?