Love Machine, Part 1
Author's Pre-note: This arc makes a few oblique references to the holiday side story "The Iron Ho-Ho-Horse: Everything's Merrier With Robots!" It is canon, but not required reading, so you can skip it with very few issues.
The train pulled into the station at the Crystal Empire. Twilight had been there a mere month ago to discuss negotiations with Yakyakistan, but this trip was not for diplomacy; it was just for her.
Twilight smiled as she looked out the window and saw a familiar stallion standing on the platform. She eagerly galloped to the exit and leaped out to where Shining Armor was waiting with open hooves.
“Twily!” he exclaimed, greeting his little sister. “I’m so glad you’re--oof!” he grunted as Twilight practically tackled him with a hug. “Heh. I’m glad you’re here, little sister.”
“Me too!” she laughed. “Especially when I’m not terrified of saying the wrong thing to Prince Rutherford!”
There was the sound of whirring gears and metallic hooves loudly trotting across the crystalline floor of the platform. Twilight and Shining Armor both turned to see Turing Test exiting the train. Right behind her was Spike, who waved to Shining Armor as soon as he saw him.
“Hello again, Shining Armor,” Turing Test said, bowing her head to him.
“Good to see you again, Turing Test!” Shining Armor replied, giving her a smile. He turned to Spike and held out a hoof. “And hey, Spike, good to have you too, little guy!”
“Same here!” he said, making a fist and bumping it to Shining Armor’s hoof.
Twilight sighed. “I wish I had been here when you and my brother first met back on Hearth’s Warming Eve, Turing.” Then she perked up. “But hey, now you can pay a proper visit without trying to collect holiday cards and stuff from the whole Empire!”
“That is true.” She turned to face Shining Armor again. “I look forward to interacting with you and Princess Cadance during our visit.”
“Likewise!” he said, not missing a beat. He gestured for them to follow him as they made their way toward the palace at the center of the Empire.
Twilight smiled as she and the others walked along the crystalline roads, the crystal ponies all nodding, bowing, or curtseying to their prince, to her, and to their national hero, Spike. But what also struck her was the fact that nopony seemed to be even slightly bothered by Turing Test.
“It seems like you made a real impression on the crystal ponies, Turing,” she whispered over her shoulder.
“Affirmative. Though they were at first very apprehensive, especially the palace guards, Shining Armor vouched for me. He was made aware of me by means of your letters and allowed me to speak. When I informed the crystal ponies that I was visiting on your behalf, and especially on behalf of Spike the Dragon, they no longer feared me. Apparently, any friend of Spike the Dragon’s is a friend of the Crystal Empire.”
Spike puffed his chest out at that.
However, Turing’s ears began to twitch. “Shining Armor, I have an inquiry.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, still leading the group. “What is it?”
“An inquiry is a question.”
He grunted as Twilight and Spike chuckled.
“I mean, what is your question?”
“An ‘empire’ is defined as a major political unit having a territory of great extent or a number of territories or peoples under a single sovereign authority. However, the Crystal Empire is smaller in size than Canterlot or Manehattan. Nor are you and Princess Cadance addressed as ‘Emperor’ and ‘Empress,’ respectively. Why then is this region referred to as an ‘Empire?’”
Shining chuckled. “You know, Cadance and I wondered about that and asked the crystal ponies that same question. Turns out, they don’t really know either!”
“Weird!” Spike remarked. “Eh, but no big deal. It has a nice ring to it anyway!”
“Speaking of Cadance,” Twilight said, frowning slightly, “is she okay?”
Shining Armor just smiled. “Cadance is fine,” he assured her. “But don’t be too surprised when you see her. She’s really starting to show!”
Turing Test tilted her head. “Please clarify. What is she showing?”
The others all laughed at that.
“Oh, Turing,” Twilight said, turning to smile at her, “you know that Cadance is pregnant! I told you, remember?”
“I do. I am not susceptible to forgetting information. However, I still do not understand your meaning.”
Twilight sighed and glanced over to Shining Armor. She gave him a pointed look, but he only laughed in response.
“I think you’ll understand what we mean when you see her, Turing,” he said raising an eyebrow as he smirked.
When the group arrived at the entrance to the colossal palace, Cadance was there to greet them. “Oh, Twilight, Spike, Turing Test, you’re here!” She came over and hugged each of them in turn. “How was your trip?”
“It was fine!” Twilight said.
Spike was rubbing his arms. “Still pretty cold, though.”
“Oh, yes,” Cadance said, nodding. “It gets very cold here in the Crystal Empire, of course, even with the Crystal Heart keeping it hospitable!” She beckoned them to follow her, the palace guards lining up on either side of them to form a pathway. “Come inside! We’ll get you warm and get you all a nice dinner! And there might be some tasty gemstones in store for you, Spike,” she added.
The group all followed her, but Turing, seeing Cadance’s profile as she turned, momentarily stopped in her tracks.
Turing checked her data, just to confirm what she’d noticed. Cadance’s abdomen was definitely protruding more than it had been previously.
Twilight and Shining Armor’s meaning finally clicked when she considered what they’d said.
“Oh,” she said to herself, quietly. She then picked up her hooves and caught up to the rest of the group.
***
It was later that night after everyone had gone to bed after a long evening involving a nice dinner, staying up late telling stories, swapping jokes, and just enjoying each other’s company. Cadance suddenly jolted awake, the tiny thing in her belly stirring slightly. She clutched her stomach and noticed Shining Armor had draped his foreleg over her during the night.
She smiled, gently lifting his foreleg as she slipped out of bed. She knelt down and kissed him on the forehead. He moved slightly, his slow, rhythmic breathing momentarily interrupted as he inhaled, but then he settled once more.
Cadance took a nightgown, then gently made her way through the halls of the palace. The guards on duty looked up from their posts when they saw her, but at a reassuring nod and a smile, they relaxed, letting her be.
After ascending a few flights of stairs, she at last reached her favorite balcony. She pulled her nightgown around herself more tightly in the chilly air as she stared out over her kingdom. The homes below were mostly dark, but with the bright moon overhead, the Crystal Empire shone and glimmered as if mimicking the starry sky above.
Her ears raised as she heard a distinct sound approaching behind her, along with a telltale purple glow. She turned to smile at her guest.
“Good evening, Turing Test,” Cadance said softly.
“And to you also, Princess Cadance.”
Cadance held up a hoof and clicked her tongue as if she were a teacher correcting a student.
“Please, Turing. Just Cadance.”
Turing nodded. “Acknowledged. Good evening, Cadance. I apologize if I am bothering you, but I saw you as I was exploring the castle.”
“Oh?” Cadance asked, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you exploring it at this hour? Couldn’t you sl-- oh, right.” She chuckled nervously. “Sorry, I keep forgetting that you’re… um…”
“It is all right, Cadance. Many of my friends often forget that I do not have the same needs or routines as organics.”
Cadance frowned. “That must get old.”
“‘Get old?’ If you are indicating that such questions are bothersome to me, then that is not correct. In actuality, while I formerly had no reaction to such assumptions, I now find them pleasant.”
Cadance’s eyes widened at that. “Pleasant? Forgive me for asking, but why?”
“Because,” she replied, coming over to stand beside her, “in a small way, it means they regard me as if I really were organic, rather than mechanical. They do not treat me differently, and I am appreciative of that.”
At that, Cadance smiled. She looked back out at the Crystal Empire. “It’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?”
Turing’s ears shifted. “I am told that many ponies find the night sky beautiful. I have difficulty appreciating aesthetic visual appeal, though I realize that it is important to others. It is why I am grateful to my friend Rarity for the brooches that adorn my legs.” She held up a foreleg, displaying it for Cadance.
“They’re lovely, Turing,” Cadance replied. She sighed and rested her forelegs on the rail of the balcony. “Still, I guess even I can’t quite explain why I like it so much up here, but just the same, I feel peaceful when I’m up here alone. It helps me relax and think. In fact, I’ve been coming up here a lot, lately.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, resting her head on her forelegs.
Turing watched her and rested her forelegs on the balcony in turn, mimicking Cadance’s action.
Cadance laughed at that. “Twilight said you’re trying to learn about body language more.”
“Correct. I have had some success replicating some physical movements. However, I still have difficulty with vocalizations such as natural-sounding laughter or sighing. Attempting sigh in 3… 2… 1…” She raised her head. “Haaaaaaaaaa,” she ‘sighed.’
Cadance broke out into a fit of giggles, covering her mouth as she tried to contain it.
“I see,” Turing said, her ears lowering. “I was not successful.”
“No, no, it was fine!” Cadance managed to say through her giggle fit. “I’m sorry for laughing; I just thought it was cute!”
“Cute?” Turing repeated, raising her head. “That was not my intention, but it may be desirable nonetheless. Is being ‘cute’ considered a positive trait?”
Cadance smiled, managing to keep herself from laughing this time. “Yes, Turing. Being cute can be an asset. So can being, um, ‘aesthetically pleasing,’ as you put it. Or being funny, or being smart, or just being sweet. I remember that about Shining Armor.” She sighed happily, resting her face on her hooves. “He was a lot shier back in school, but so kind and devoted. He’s more brave now, but he’s otherwise just the same. And I still love him for it.”
Turing said nothing, but her ears twitched slightly on their hinges.
“And now,” she said, looking up at the sky, her smile growing wider, “I’m even going to have a baby with him! I’m… I’m going to be a mother…”
Turing saw that her eyes were wet, and she went to her side. “Cadance, are you all right? Why are you crying?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes as she chuckled lightly. “I’m just a little emotional. These pregnancy hormones can be rough!”
Turing relaxed slightly, but she held her gaze on Cadance.
“I apologize, Cadance, but may I ask you a question?”
“Yes, of course,” Cadance replied, smiling at her.
“You refer to Shining Armor with very strong affection, stating your love for him. I have also been told that you are known as the ‘Princess of Love,’ similar to how Twilight Sparkle is the ‘Princess of Friendship.’”
Cadance nodded. “Yes, that’s true. Um, was that your question?”
Turing shook her head. “I am merely stating that information as justification for asking you what may be a difficult inquiry.” She leaned in close to Cadance. “I wish to know, what is love?”
Cadance blinked. “What is love?” she repeated.
Turing nodded.
“Well…” She paused, scratching her temple. “That’s a more complicated answer than you might think, Turing.” Then she brightened. “Oh, I know! Why don’t you tell me what you already know, and then I can add to that!”
“Acknowledged. That sounds efficient.” She tapped her chin, then proceeded. “From my own understanding, love is similar to affection, but more intense and multifaceted. Many books seem to focus on courtship and conclude once characters either acknowledge their love, establish a relationship by overcoming hindrances, or die.” She paused a moment as Cadance made a face. “I find the final result to be somewhat counterproductive.”
Cadance sighed. “Well, you’ve got the right idea, Turing,” she said. “Love is a lot like affection, but, just like you said, it’s so much more! It’s a wonderful, amazing experience that just, well, makes life so much sweeter!”
Turing nodded but said nothing as she waited for Cadance to continue.
“Well, love is something that anypony can feel, but there are all kinds of love, too.”
Turing sat up straight at that. “I was not aware that an emotion could have different subcategories.”
Cadance chuckled at that. “Well, love is a special emotion. When you feel love for your family, that’s what we call ‘familial love,’” she explained. “When it’s for your friends or companions, we call it ‘platonic love.’ And when it’s for that special somepony who you want to be with, like in those books you’ve been reading, then we call it ‘romantic love.’ Do you understand?”
Turing tilted her head back and forth. “I am not certain. How can organics distinguish one love from another?”
“Well, generally you can tell… I mean, organics can tell the difference pretty easily. But sometimes I guess it can be difficult. Especially if you feel one type of love for somepony, but they have another for you.”
“Such a thing is possible?”
“Sure it is!” Cadance said. “Like, when two ponies are friends, but one begins to have romantic feelings for the other, it can be really difficult, especially when only one friend feels that way.”
“What is the source of difficulty? Why do they not simply state their feelings?”
“I tend to think honesty is… well, usually the best policy,” Cadance said, “but sometimes it can be embarrassing to know that a friend sees you in that way.”
“In what way?”
“You know,” Cadance said, a blush coming to her cheeks. “Romantically.”
Turing tilted her head, obviously not getting it.
Cadance sighed. “Physically, Turing.”
Turing’s eyes shifted. “Understood. You are referring to intercourse.”
Cadance laughed nervously. “Y-yes.”
“Then romantic love and intercourse are complementary to each other?”
“Well, not necessarily, but a lot of the time.”
Turing nodded. “And that is how you were impregnated.”
Cadance rolled her eyes. “Yes, Turing,” she sighed, “that’s how I got pregnant.”
Turing stood up, nodding. “Understood. I apologize if I have said anything inappropriate in my attempts to learn.”
With a gentle smile, Cadance put a hoof on her shoulder. “No, don’t worry, Turing. It’s only natural to be curious.”
Turing glanced down. “If you do not mind, I have an additional request, Cadance.”
She smiled. “Yes?”
“If it is not troublesome, may I touch your abdomen?”
Cadance’s eyes went wide.
“My apologies,” Turing said, taking a few steps back when she saw Cadance’s reaction. “I did not wish to--”
“No, no, it’s… it’s okay, you just surprised me, that’s all,” Cadance said, slowly relaxing. “Just be gentle, all right?”
Turing nodded. “Understood,” she replied.
Cadance sat, exposing her slightly protruding belly. Ever so gently, very slowly, Turing placed her metallic hoof on it. Cadance shivered at the cold touch, but only for a moment as she got used to it. Turing was still as she held her hoof in place, her sensors taking a reading of the slight movement of the tiny being within.
In a hushed, awed tone, she whispered but one word: “Incredible.”
***
It was a few days later, back at Twilight’s castle, when Turing knocked on the door to the study. Twilight called “Come in!” and Turing Test entered.
“Hello, Turing!” Twilight said, giving her a warm smile as she glanced up from her book. Spike was next to her, holding a quill in his claw, and he likewise looked up at her. The two of them were seated at a small table with books and papers.
“Forgive my interruption, Twilight Sparkle. Are you occupied at the moment?”
“Well, just a little, but we could take a short break,” Twilight said, which caused Spike to breathe a sigh of relief as he massaged his tired claw. “What’s on your mind?”
“I wish to speak to you about love and intercourse.”
Twilight instantly began sputtering, her wings flaring out as she nearly fell off her stool.
Spike just blinked. “About love and… what was that last word?”
“Nothing, ha ha!” Twilight said quickly. “Oh, gee, Spike, we’re getting low on ink, so why don’t you go to the store and buy some!” She stared at him with a tight, plastered-on smile. There was sweat forming on her brow.
Spike raised an eyebrow. “Huh? Twilight, we’ve got an entire bottle left!” he exclaimed, holding it up.
“Oh, do we? Gee, let me see that!” She shot out her hoof, practically smacking the bottle out of Spike’s claw and causing it to fall to the floor, smashing to pieces. “Whoopsie! I’m such a butterhooves today, haha! Guess you need to buy some after all!”
She levitated a bag of bits and shoved it into his claws roughly.
“But, Twilight, I wanted to--”
“No no, I insist, we need ink annnnd oh, what the hay, go get a massage and a hot mineral bath at the spa while you’re at it, take your time!”
Spike broke into a grin. “Wow, really? All right, thanks Twilight!” He hugged her and dashed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
“Ugh!” Twilight groaned, placing her face in her hooves. “That was close.” She then raised her head and glared at Turing Test. “Turing, what’s wrong with you?! You can’t talk about stuff like that in front of Spike!”
Turing bowed her head. “My apologies. In the future, I will stand behind him.”
Twilight pounded her head on the desk.
“Perhaps I should return later, if you are unwilling to answer my inquiry.”
“No, no,” she sighed as she slowly began to calm herself down. “It’s my responsibility to teach you about friendship and life and important things like this. Sooo… I guess you want to know about, um... the birds and bees?”
“Negative. I have no interest in how birds and bees have sex.”
Twilight stared blankly at Turing Test. She stayed that way for several moments before her brain finally re-engaged.
“Turing, maybe you should just tell me what you want to know.”
“Acknowledged,” she replied, giving a short nod. “Twilight Sparkle, on our recent trip to the Crystal Empire, I discussed the topic of love with Cadance. She was very helpful. It has made me consider some of my own recent experiences and how I might continue to develop my own identify further.”
Twilight stood up from where she was sitting and went over to her. “Oh. You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Affirmative. As you will recall, Twilight Sparkle, I informed you of my experiences with Applejack’s family several weeks ago. I greatly enjoyed the experience of being part of a family unit, and I am happy that you and Spike the Dragon accept me as a member of your family in turn.”
Twilight smiled at that. “Well, of course we do, Turing!”
“However, I have observed how many organics seek relationships with others outside their family to form pairs and, eventually, their own family units. Seeing that Cadance is now beginning to ‘show’ and noting your anticipation of the birth of a new addition to your family has made me consider my own situation.”
Twilight frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Organics can procreate. They can reproduce and become parents.” She paused, looking down. “But I will not. I am a machine, and thus I cannot have foals.”
Twilight’s frown deepened. She went to Turing and held her. “Oh, Turing,” she said quietly.
“It is all right, Twilight Sparkle. I believe it is something I must accept.”
Twilight paused and then released her. “Well, actually, now that I think about it, maybe you can have foals!” She smiled. “After all, if somepony built you, then maybe someday you could, well, build your own offspring!”
Turing’s ears shifted, squeaking on their hinges. “That is true. However, as the process used to create me remains unknown, such a thing is currently impossible. Still, you are right that the possibility of a family for me may yet exist at some point in the future.”
Twilight smiled. “Well, I’m glad I could help!”
Turing held up a hoof. “My apologies, Twilight Sparkle, but the subject of offspring was not the primary topic I wished to discuss with you.”
Twilight blinked at her, not understanding.
“In an effort to better integrate with organic ponies and find my own sense of identity, I wish to experience a romantic relationship.”
Twilight gawked. “You mean… you want to… to date somepony?!”
“Scanning… ‘date: verb. To go on a date.’ Scanning… ‘date: noun. 1. the oblong edible fruit of a palm. 2. the time at which--’”
“I mean you want to have a romance! A special somepony!”
Turing stopped quoting her internal dictionary and nodded.
Twilight rubbed her forehead. “Oh wow… oh Sweet Celestia…”
“I doubt she would be receptive to me.”
Twilight burst out laughing at that. When she’d mostly recovered, holding her sides and wiping her eyes, she said, “Listen, Turing, in all seriousness, I’m not sure that you’re quite ready for, um, romance.”
“Perhaps not. But I will not know if I do not try.”
“But… I mean… a robot and an organic pony?!”
“I realize it is unconventional. However, many individuals have unconventional relationships. Dr. Turing is a griffon in a romantic relationship with a changeling. Mr. Vanderbull is a minotaur whose wife is a pony. Gummy and Boulder--”
“Okay, okay, I get it! Sheesh!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Look, it’s… I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Turing said nothing but then slowly lowered her head and ears. “Then you are forbidding me from entering into such a relationship?”
Twilight shut her eyes, taking a long breath and releasing it with glacial slowness.
“All right, fine,” she said, giving Turing a weak smile. “I don’t feel right holding you back. So, if this is what you want, then… okay, you have my support.”
Turing Test stood up straight, her ears twitching rapidly. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle! I am very excited to initiate courtship rituals!” Then she paused, her ears going still. “Now, how shall I proceed?”
Twilight raised a hoof and opened her mouth before suddenly freezing, her eyes darting back and forth.
“Okay, maybe romance isn’t something I know that much about.” She scratched her head, considering options. “Well, none of our friends are dating anypony right now, but I think I know at least one of us who might know a thing or two about attraction…”
***
Rarity levitated a cup of tea up to her lips and took a sip. She smiled serenely and leaned forward on her kitchen table. “You’ve come to the right place, darling.”
Twilight broke into a wide grin and put her foreleg over Turing’s shoulder. “So you’ll help her, Rarity?”
“How could I say no!” Rarity replied. She lightly patted Turing’s hoof. “Don’t worry, Turing Test; we’ll find the stallion of your dreams in no time!”
Turing bowed her head. “Thank you, Rarity. I am hopeful that I will be able to attract a compatible partner.”
“Attract is the key word, I suppose,” Rarity said, rubbing her chin. “The problem is that you are very, ah, unconventional in your appearance. Normally I’d suggest learning how to develop a certain look in your eye or a way of smiling or winking, but, well…”
Turing’s ears flattened. “My lack of a mouth or eyelids is problematic.”
“Indeed,” Rarity said, “but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have some options. For instance, we could try using your voice instead. Come here, Turing, and whisper something seductive into my ear.”
“Understood.” She stood and went up to Rarity, who lifted her ear as Turing came closer.
“You are aesthetically pleasing. I wish to interface with you.”
Rarity made a sour face and backed away. “Well, you have the basic idea, I suppose, but perhaps that’s not the best approach.”
Twilight sighed. “I was afraid of that. Turing, don’t take this the wrong way, but you might be running up against simple organic nature. For animals and ponies alike, a lot of physical attraction is based on hormones and pheromones, and you have neither. For that matter, you don’t even have the… um… equipment for this sort of thing.”
“Because I do not have lips?”
“Y-yes,” Twilight said, blushing. “Among, you know… other things.”
Turing noticed Rarity was also blushing. “Understood. Perhaps such things would be too unpleasing for organics.” She lowered her head and made for the door. “Very well. I will not pursue this further.”
Rarity suddenly got to hind legs, slamming her front hooves on the table. “No! I will not accept that it’s as simple as that, nor will I let you give up without trying!”
Turing stopped and slowly walked back to the table. “But how will I evoke feelings of romantic attraction without chemical signals?”
“Oh, pfft,” Rarity said, rolling her eyes, “chemicals are overrated! Besides, we can always let you borrow some perfume. Coco Pommel recently sent me a scent, as it were, and we could always experiment! What sort of aroma do you think you would like to associate with yourself? Lavender? Rosewater?”
Turing tapped her chin. “Perhaps I could dab some motor oil behind my ears?”
Rarity’s eye twitched. “Okay, nix on the perfume. In that case, we’ll have to rely on two of the grandest weapons a mare has in her arsenal: fashion and body language!”
She raised a hoof to the side of her mouth and shouted “Sweetie Belle!”
The sound of small hooves galloping was heard, and Sweetie appeared around the corner. “Yes, Rarity?”
“Be a darling and find my camera for me, won’t you?”
Sweetie smiled. “Sure!” She then glanced over at Turing Test. “Oh, hi, Turing! Is Rarity taking pictures of you?”
“I believe so, though I am uncertain how it pertains to matters of romance and intercourse.”
Sweetie Belle scrunched her face. “Inter-what now?”
“Gah!” Rarity shouted and roughly shoved a bag into Sweetie’s hooves. “Sweetie Belle, here’s twenty bits! After you get the camera, go to the movies or something and don’t ask any more questions on the way!”
“Ooh!” Sweetie cooed. Then she raised an eyebrow. “Wait, is this like that time I found your black sketch book you told me never to look at again?”
Rarity narrowed her gaze. “Camera. No questions. Movies. Go!”
“All right, all right!” she groaned, walking off in a huff to find the camera.
***
After a few experiments with outfits and photographing several poses, the three mares gathered around Rarity’s table as she spread the photos for all to see.
“Well!” Rarity said, smiling and looking pleased with herself. “I think that went rather well!”
Twilight was smiling, but at each picture, the smile grew more and more forced.
“You believe that by utilizing these poses to enhance my femininity, I will appear more aesthetically pleasing and attractive to stallions?” Turing asked, looking to Rarity.
“I’m certain of it!” Rarity said, beaming at her.
Twilight held her tongue as she glanced back at the photos.
There was one of Turing Test blowing a kiss to the camera, another a vertical shot of her lying on a bed, looking up, another of her standing on her hind legs on a giant fake clamshell holding one foreleg over her chest with the other holding up her tail (Rarity called it the “Venus de Mustang” pose), and one with her holding up a large, red paper heart.
Twilight couldn’t decide if they were cute or mildly disturbing, but she was starting to suspect that somewhere along the line, Rarity had gone from helping Turing Test to just playing dress-up.
“Well then!” Rarity said, turning to face Turing Test. “Now that you’ve practiced the physical arts, perhaps you should work on your, um, verbal technique. And I have just the thing for that as well!” She held up a thin, red book and levitated it over to Turing.
“The title is The Art of Seduction, by Lacey Saddles,” Turing said, examining the book.
Twilight frowned. “Turing, I’m not sure you should--”
Turing flipped through the book, processing it in less than ten seconds. “Analyzed,” she said.
“Excellent!” Rarity exclaimed. “Now, go forth, young robot, and make those techniques your own! Find your special somepony!”
“Understood.” She gave Rarity a brief hug. “Thank you for your assistance, Rarity. I hope I will gain significant romantic experience.”
She moved for the door when Twilight teleported into her path.
“M-maybe you shouldn’t, Turing. I mean, at least not by yourself!” She swallowed. “It might be better with one of us there to support you!”
Turing’s eyes shifted. “Twilight Sparkle, are you indicating that I require a chaperone?”
Twilight glanced over at Rarity, who just shrugged. “Well, would that be such a bad idea?”
“While I acknowledge that I am less experienced that most ponies, I have proven myself to be a capable learner. Furthermore, I wish to do this on my own. I am concerned that your presence may pressure others to accept my offer or invite those who wish to have greater access to a Princess.”
Twilight blinked. “Oh,” she said quietly. “I… wow, I guess I never considered that.” She heaved a sigh but offered her a weak smile. “All right, Turing, I won’t interfere. Just… you know, if things get rough for you, then I’ll be around to help. We all will.”
Turing nodded. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle.”
With that, Twilight stepped aside and watched as Turing went outside, making her way into Ponyville to seek the perfect mate.
“There she goes, Twilight,” Rarity said, hugging Twilight as she laid her head against her. “Our little robot is growing up.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at Rarity. “Are you really sure this is a good idea, Rarity? I can’t think of anypony who would date a robot. I mean, would you?”
“I don’t know, darling,” she replied with a chuckle, “but then, nopony’s built any hunky robot stallions yet, either.”
Twilight groaned and rolled her eyes. “But still, Rarity, what if she gets her heart broken? What if she gets rejected and never wants to try to love anypony again?!” she cried.
Rarity turned serious and looked Twilight in the eyes. “There’s no reward without risk, Twilight,” she said quietly. “And what if she is successful? What if she meets some handsome stranger and it is absolutely wonderful? Do you really want to deny her that experience?”
Twilight lowered her gaze, shaking her head. “No. I… I guess I don’t.”
Rarity smiled, patting Twilight on her shoulder. “Then try not to worry.” Then her grin turned more mischievous. “Besides, with a robodonkadonk like that, she might well have to beat potential suitors off with a stick!”
Twilight gawked at her, a dry rattle in her throat.
To be continued...
And so begins the first chapter of the "Romance" arc. This wasn't something I had originally planned on writing back in the conception stage, but that applies to lots of stuff that I ended up writing. 
A lot of readers were curious as to how Turing Test would do in a romantic setting, and I had to concede that it was interesting and might be fun to write. So, for those readers, this one's for you!
Okay, time for references:
-First, a reference I didn't make, but so help me, I thought about it. When Turing asks Cadance "What is love?" and she echoes it, I was going to have her suddenly clutch her belly and go "Ow! Baby, don't hurt me!" ...But I thought that was reaching too far for a reference joke, even for me. 
-For an actual reference, a lot of Turing's poses were based on some common tropes, though Turing blowing a kiss was based vaguely on Marilyn Monroe as well as the scene in "Simple Ways" where Applejack dresses up and blows a kiss to the camera.
-Additionally, of course, is Turing's "Venus de Mustang" pose, which is based on the famous picture "Venus on the Half-Shell."
-Rarity refers to getting some perfume from Coco Pommel. This is an oblique reference to the fragrance "Chanel No. 5," originally produced and sold by Coco Chanel, Miss Pommel's namesake.
-Of course, the most overt reference is the title which this time is a song, but not by Daft Punk. Instead, it is the excellent tune "Love Machine" by The Miracles, a supergroup of some of Motown's best and brightest. It's one of my favorite songs and has appeared in countless movies and TV shows. And now at least one fanfic. 
I tried to get a video with lyrics, but there didn't appear to be one readily available, so, uh, here's a lyrics sheet to follow.
See you next time, folks!
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Personally I don't see love as an emotion.
Emotions are formed at the border of instinct and intelligence. Hunger is not an emotion, it's an instinctual need for food. But if you go without food for a while, you might get desperate because you know it.
Love, however, has no purpose in instinct, and is sought out by intellect. It can cause emotions--joy, sorrow, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise--but in and of itself it is not emotional in formation.
(There is simply no way this situation could possibly become awkward!>
One bit of trivia, though. In the line...
“There’s no risk without reward, Twilight,”
I think you might've got those two words reversed.
And now I'm picturing Turing Test on one of those tacky dating shows, with Wheatly, HAL, and Legion as the prospective bachelors.
I know you thought about it. From the second I saw the title of the chapter I knew the question was coming. That song was in my head.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This entity is her perfect partner.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/3/1/259186__safe_text_parody_original+species_helmet_poster_deer_artist-colon-aa_top+gear_the+stig.png
Did you continued it, or does is the end still in sight? I believe I stopped because I think it was already over, but now I see it is not.
I'm confused, but I'm sure I know why I stopped, or even want to read more, if I start again after the whole while.
For a machine to comprehend something like this... that's amazing. I also wouldn't be surprised if Flurry Heart seeks out Turing for cuddles at some point.
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HONORARY ROBOT FOALS YAY?????
I can see her going along with it just to mess with the nobles.
Very nice chapter, though I can totally see Sweetie and Spike meeting up and agreeing that Twilight and Rarity sure act weird sometimes.
All right - this was just the perfect mixture of cute, hearwarming and absolute hilarity!
The conversation between Turing and Cadance was really nice (and I hope to see later Turing holding Flurry Heart
)
And the sheer awkwardness of Twilight and Rarity's reaction at Turing's questions about romance (somepony need warn Turing that some topics are not adequate to talking around foals...
).
I really hope that Turing is successful in her endeavour (and somepony calls Maud back!!)
I known this has nothing to do with the story but sad to think how for in to crab the US music industry fell front music like "Love Machine" as well as songs from the 60's, 70's, and the 80's to now in the 20xx's
where did it all go wrong? As for the story can't wait to see how this turns out buahahahahahaha.
...
I gotta do it.
Robots can have relationships and have a special bot. (Not counting Futurama.) I read a manga that showed that and an Viewtiful Joe anime. High bet Turing Test ask Flash Sentry for a date and a 99.9% that will make Twilight jealous.
Another awesome, cute, funny chapter. Turing, don't talk about that in front of children!
I can't wait to see how Turing fares.
7133948 FUCK! You beat me to it.
7133948
7134160
Does no one read the author's notes?!
Ugh... maybe I should have included that joke after all.
7134167 Well I believe what you write was very good, so that I won't have any complain.
Normally I would hurry to catch up as fast as possible to have the change, to voice my own opinion, but I believe you make it awesome anyway, I remember that much.
7134173 ;)
I stopped reading authors notes because I try to get through stories quick in my free-time. I usually read a chapter then go straight back to editing.
7134030 Flash is the perfect dupe... I mean subject for this. What could possibly go wrong?
Wait, Gummy and.... Boulder? Is Turing's understanding of their relationship purely from word of mouth? Perhaps if she understood how that worked we might be that much closer...
We're fairly certain a morning of physical posing and a cheesy romance guide will be sufficient to provide the correct type of attention she's looking for, but then again her sponsors (as it were) aren't really experienced in that regard anyway. I believe Turing would benefit more from the less physical-based aspects of love....
Keep going! ;)
the thought of Turing having robot children reminded me of an episode of Eureka. Basically the labs AI grew attached to a small robot and treated it like its baby. Then when the main protagonists son takes the robot, well, as the old saying goes: 'God knows no greater fury then a mother scorned.
You are treading on a thin layer of thread, my friend! All I can say is good luck!
You mean eye lids.
7134619 Nope. She doesn't have eye lids. I mean her eyes moved or slightly contracted, but she is incapable of blinking.
This is the closest equivalent she can manage.
7134444
Oh believe me, I know. I resisted writing this sort of arc for a long while because I knew it was going to be a sticky subject. Still, I think this and the next chapter will turn out okay. Hopefully the next one - which I have yet to write - turns out okay too.
7134030
Why would Turing Test go to the human world, looking for a partner?
7134757
She should really start wearing cosmetic sunglasses.
Shifting those about make for a number of improvisable expressions.
Admittedly I'm not a pony, but there are many things I would love to do with turing. Although I hope her match has a more feminine touch.
Also I just want to say, Turing test is a great character, her aesthetic design took some getting used to, but her personality and character are fantastic.
And while I am a bit of a creep for being so excited about her and another mare getting dirty, I'm very happy to see you continue to write and develop Turing. Seriously, haven't been this invested in a fic for a while.
altho I would totally read some Turing x mare clop. I'm only mildly ashamed to admit that. Turing x twilight otp
I died when I saw those photos.
Bwahaha it was so awkward ... and hilarous... and hilarously awkward !
And these pictures... I can't even look at the without laughing.
Okay. There are three things I want to ask: I know you have already established this, but I want to ask. Do you think that you can have Turing find someway to help Applejack with her Bucker's Hip and help her find to give,if not a cure,then something to help delay the progression tremendously than what the doctor's prescribed for her?
Second, can you bring Turing with Twilight and Spike on the time loop incident against Starlight Glimmer?
And third, if you go the time loop suggestion, can you bring them to an alternate timeline where the group that built Turing have succeeded in their plot. I'm sure they would like a glimpse of what exactly they may be up against. For me, what that group is planning may lead to what happen in The Matrix franchise backstory between the human and the machines as shown in the Animatrix film. Machines take up the labor of ponies, who become lazy and arrogant because robots became cheap labor. Then one day, a robot kills a family because it was going to be replaced and used for scrapped parts,it gets tried and destroyed,incident incites a civil rights movement which gets ruthlessly suppressed,pony leaders calling destruction for robots, which some go on exodus to build their own nation, their economy rises very quickly while equestria's suffer,pony leaders order a blockade on robot's territory, robots send ambassadors with a peaceful resolution to hostilities, only to get rejected and destroyed. Equestria attack robot nation, which they retaliate, which escalates to a global war between organic and machine. Robots win war and enslave remaing pony population,leaving Equestria completely ravaged and beyond healing. That's what happens in the Animatrix film and what Celestia fears when confiding in Luna in the Nightvision chapter.
Sorry for rambling on like that. The point is that if you could include those three requests in your story? The Animatrix thing is completely up to you though. If you don't want to any or all three of those requests, that's completely fine and I respect your decision as author of this amazing story. Anyway, I hope you will consider them in your story and good luck on your next update.
I require pin ups of turing....for reasons.
I'm laughing so hard right now!
This is set up to be fun arc.
That's "alright," alright? Alright.
Oh, this is gonna be good...
7134829
So far you’ve managed to wend your way through every treacherous portion of this literary journey with aplomb — many of which I was certain could not be done, period. Honestly, at this point I’m almost at the stage where I’ll say that you can do no wrong.
7135212
If A.J. refuses to let her body heal then the only alternative is hip‐replacement surgery.
7135212 Well, in order:
1. Turing can't really cure Applejack, but don't worry. AJ's problem was that she was making a mild ailment much worse by not slowing down and taking better care of herself. She was too obsessed with being the best farm pony ever. She'll still be one of the best buckers around, but she'll have to step down from trying to be superhuman. Or superequine, I guess. In a way, Turing making her realize how silly she was being might have saved her. If she takes care of herself, she'll be bucking until she's an old lady; she was just having difficulty realizing her own mortality and her body's eventual limitations.
2 and 3. I'm afraid I can't really talk about what will or won't happen in the future, because I'd prefer to have it up in the air as to how much it jives with the canon storyline or not. Sorry. Though, for the record, I have seen The Animatrix and I did enjoy that segment you're talking about. I'll just say that it is possible that I'll discuss alternate realities in the future and leave it at that.
7135776 Well I guess I'll just have to wait and see what you decide.
But thank you for at least giving it some thought
"What is love?" One of the biggest questions in life, right up there with "Why are we here?", "What are you doing to that poor donkey?", "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?", "What, exactly, is the function of a rubber duck?", and "How does one survive an encounter with Vogon poetry?".
Th answer eludes us still, to all of these questions and more...
7135908 Oh, I've already decided. I just can't tell you.
7135301
Already had this discussion with one of my editors.
It's "all right," and I'm sticking by that.
I can't help but think that Turing would do well with a mare love interest. Like they're all talking about the right stallion and a little voice in my head chimes in "hey, Turing could meet a nice girl, it could happen."
If a robot can fall in love at all, why couldn't it be with a girl? Just sayin' *shrugs*
It has begun.
Part of me wished that Cadance was going through mood swings and Turing being blatantly honest would unintentionally say things that would set her off.
For what is love reference, I was actually thinking of the song I Want To Know What Love Is.
As for who would be interested in being in a relationship with a robot there are always geeks and nerds who would into that. Hell remember awhile back there was a story about a man who made himself a robot girlfriend that looked like Scarlet Johansson.
This arc is reminding me of the Nickelodeon cartoon show My Life as a Teenage Robot. Which reminded of certain episode. What if after Turing fails to attract anyone she tries to change her appearance by making a pony suit to cover metal exterior?
While it will be hard to just find someone to be interested in her, you forgot to bring up another topic when it comes to dating. The topic being what does Turing look for in a mate? Obviously everyone has a list on what their ideal girl/boyfriend is. Physical features, height, hair/eye color, personality, race, occupation, fashion sense, finances, talent, and hobbies. I imagine if Turing were to make a list of what qualifications she's looking for, the list would be a mile long. Since not being organic, Turing doesn't have the ability to feel attraction towards other ponies so this will make things difficult for her. I'm imagining she walks up to everypony she meets and asks for a date.
Turing Tests Pick Up Lines:
Excuse me, I seem to have a screw loose, I require the use of your screwdriver.
I have plenty of lubricant back in my place. What kind of motor oil do you prefer?
Hello, would you like me to tighten your nuts for you?
I can literally go all week long before my battery runs out.
Don't worry, I'm clean. I polish myself every morning.
Excuse me, I was told that this establishment is a great place to pick up mares. How many mares am I allowed to lift and how much do they weigh?
I bet you've never procreated with a platinum mare before.
I can be very flexible. See how I can rotate my head all the way around.
I can send you to the moon. It will take 10 days to get there.
I don't kiss on the first date. Or ever since I have no lips.
I would as you say 'give you head', but I don't have any spare ones to give.
The "Love Machine" song by Waterflame was running through my mind as I read this.
7135217
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You're welcome.
7138123 Why do you taunt me so?
7133807 I completely agree. Love is not an emotion*.
(*IMO)
I am now all caught up with pony Johnny 5. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
Maybe someone asexual would work for Turing?
the chapters where as long as I remembered, but it was nice to read them everytime. While I had my favourite chapters, it was nice to read certain moments in every chapter.
Every time I read "robodonkadonk" I can't help but laugh!
Seriously, dude. Keep it up!
-Ru
Also, please try to work in some Earth Wind and Fire in somewhere. David Bowie and Prince are also acceptable.