Giggle at the Ghost in the Machine, Part 2
“This is gonna be so fun, Rinny!” Pinkie exclaimed as the pair of them walked out from the castle. “In no time at all, I’ll have you laughing your tail off!”
“The loss of my tail would…” Turing Test paused, even slowing her pace. “You are being hyperbolic. You do not mean that I will lose my tail in actuality.”
“Right! See, you’re getting it!” Pinkie said, turning to face her excitedly.
Turing came to a full stop. “Do you genuinely believe that you will be able to teach me to be humorous, Pinkie Pie?”
“Of course,” she said, putting a hoof to her chest and raising her head. “I managed to teach Princess Luna to be funny in time for last year’s Chuckle-lot!”
“Chuckle-lot?”
“It’s canon to the comics, don’t worry about it.”
Turing tilted her head slightly.
“The point is, Rinny, that I can help anypony laugh! Anypony!”
“I am glad. Of all the functions that organic ponies demonstrate, laughter is the one I have the poorest understanding of.”
“Huh?” Pinkie asked. “What do you mean?”
“I am fairly certain that I can have experiences and responses that are emotional in nature. Sadness due to unfavorable situations. Amazement and the desire to improve in response to unexpected demonstrations of ability. Gratification for success in a difficult task. I am able to understand these things quite well.”
“Well, sure, anypony would feel like that!” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. “Why wouldn’t they?”
“That is my point. Laughter seems to be a common physiological and emotional response that serves a key function in socialization. However, it also induces spastic loss of control of one’s breathing patterns and significant motor impairment even to the point of discomfort. It is very strange to me, and yet humor seems to be something all ponies enjoy. And while variations exist, all ponies appear to have a ‘sense of humor,’ if my data on the subject is correct. I wish to know if I do as well.”
“Well, I think everypony can laugh, so you must have a sense of humor!” she said cheerfully. “What kind of things do you think are funny, Rinny?”
“That is what I am attempting to explain, Pinkie Pie. I do not think anything is funny. As I stated earlier, I am unable to distinguish something that is funny from something that is not. In 100% of the occasions where I have seen a pony laugh, I have failed to understand why they were laughing.”
Pinkie shook her head, rubbing her temple. “Wait… you mean you’ve never ever gotten the joke? Every single time somepony laughed?!”
“Correct. I have never found anything humorous. I wish you to teach such things to me.”
“This is more serious than I thought!” Pinkie exclaimed. “We need to get you laughing, stat!”
“Agreed. And my name is not Stat.”
Pinkie giggled at that.
“You are laughing again. Can you explain why?”
“Oh, I thought… I thought you were joking.” She said, her smile fading.
“I was not.”
“Too bad. That was actually kind of funny.”
Turing tilted her head. “But why?”
“Well, because you thought I called you ‘Stat,’ when, you know, I just meant we should try to get you to laugh quickly.”
“Understood. Past experience indicates that my misunderstandings are often a source of amusement. I would prefer to be funny intentionally.”
“Well, let’s start with just practicing laughing. Maybe you just need to try it out!”
Turing tapped the side of her head, contemplating the idea. “That may work. Perhaps if I can simulate the physiological response, then the emotional response will occur in turn.”
“Then let’s start. Okay… let me think, something funny, something funny…” She stuck her tongue out and squinted her eyes. “Oh, I know! Gummy ate my soap yesterday and he got the hiccups and every - heehee -every time he did, bu-bubbles came out of his nose! Pffthahahahahaha!”
She guffawed, collapsing to the ground and holding her belly, occasionally snorting as she did. “Oh wow, that was sooo funny, you should have seen it!”
Turing stood there silently.
“Okay, Rinny, now you try it!” Pinkie managed to gasp. “Now remember, you shouldn’t try to copy my laugh. You should laugh your own way! Everypony’s laugh is unique and beautiful!”
“Very well,” she said. “I will now attempt laughter.”
Pinkie leaned forward, eager to hear Turing’s attempt.
“Ha.”
Pinkie blinked several times. “Ummm like I said… everypony’s laugh is unique and, um, occasionally beautiful!”
She looked to Pinkie, cocking her head at her frank evaluation. “Understood. My attempt was not satisfactory. Perhaps repetition is necessary.”
“Rinny--”
“Ha. Ha. Ha.” She continued in this manner, giving a punctuated, staccato laugh that was devoid of variation or melody.
“Rinny, you sound like you’re being sarcastic!” Pinkie said, folding her forelegs and shaking her head. “Come on, a real laugh can’t sound like you’re hitting the same note on a piano!”
“Understood. I will attempt some variation.” She paused, twitching her ears. “Beginning variational laughter: Ha HA. Ha HEE ha ha. Ha ha HO HO tee hee. Chortle. Snort. Ha--”
She stopped when she saw Pinkie staring back at her and shaking her head. Her face was scrunched and she held her head back as she looked askance at her. “No. No, Rinny, stop.”
“I believe I may be close to emulating--”
“No.” She put her hoof up and narrowed her eyes. “Trust me, that’s not working. That’s actually kinda horrifying.”
“Understood.” She lowered her ears. “I am sorry if my attempt was unsatisfactory.”
Pinkie sighed, but managed to perk herself back up. “That’s okay. Maybe I just need to teach you about what ponies find funny!” Bubbling with renewed energy, she seized her shoulders. “If trying to laugh isn’t working, then maybe then you could laugh naturally, the good old-fashioned way!”
“That seems reasonable. How shall we proceed?”
“First, let’s go to the market!” Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing off in her usual way. “Come this way!”
“Complying.”
Pinkie’s bouncing was cut short when she heard several earth-shaking, clattering thumps behind her. Nearly losing her footing, she whirled around and saw Turing was mimicking her bouncing, each time smashing into the ground with her massive weight and creating a series of hoof-shaped craters with each bounce.
“Augh! Rinny, stop, you’re going to make everypony think there’s an earthquake!”
***
“...And that, Princess Celestia, concludes my argument on behalf of Turing Test!” Twilight let out a deep breath, smiling in satisfaction. “So, what do you think?”
“I think you should know better than to question my authority Twilight Sparkle! Now go back to your castle, young lady, or I’ll send you to Magic Kindergarten! And need I remind you that I will expect your macaroni portraits of me to be perfect!”
Twilight glared. “Can you please try to be serious, Spike?”
The little purple dragon was standing atop a stack of books that had been placed on a stool to give the impression of standing over her. He wore a crude, homemade cardboard crown on his head and had a sun-shaped sticker on his thigh and he was speaking in falsetto.
“Sorry, Twilight.” He sat down, though still at the top of the tower of books. “Look, your arguments were great! I think you’ve really got a chance at convincing Celestia.”
“But what if it’s not good enough?!” she cried. “Spike, I have to do my best today or Celestia might decide to take Turing away! Do you want that?”
He turned somber then. “No,” he said quietly. “I’d hate that.”
She sighed. “I just don’t know what she’s going to say. And what if I lose my nerve? Oh, why did we send her that letter?!”
“I think she would have been more worried if you just ignored her, Twilight,” he replied.
“Yes, of course, but still…” She covered her face with both hooves. “I’ve never done anything like this. If she orders me to give over Turing, then I’ll…”
“You’ll what?”
“I’ll…” she paused and took a deep breath. “I’ll remember that Turing Test is counting on me to defend her right to stay with us. And I’ll remember that you and the rest of her friends are too.” She smiled. “Right. That’s what I’ll do.”
Spike smiled. “Glad to hear it, Twilight.” The two of them embraced each other.
“And now that I’ve convinced myself,” Twilight added, “I just have to convince Celestia this afternoon.”
***
Turing Test found herself in the middle of the market district. She’d been there less than a week ago, and yet something now seemed different.
The other ponies were still staring at her as they passed by, and indeed many of them still steered clear of her and hurried their children along. And yet…
Statistical analysis complete: number of negative reactions has decreased by 22%. Neutral reactions have increased by 8%. Positive reactions have increased by 14%. Margin of error is 4%.
The reactions were still fairly negative. Fearful, gawking, untrusting. But now far more of them either simply acknowledged her with no notable reaction and many even smiled and waved as they passed.
“Rinny!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, rushing back to her from wherever she’d gone. Then she tilted her head, raising an eyebrow when saw Turing was rapidly swiveling her head to look at various passersby.
“Welcome back, Pinkie Pie.”
“Whatcha doin, Rinny?” she asked.
“I have noticed that many ponies in the crowd seem to be treating me with less hostility than anticipated.” She paused and raised her hoof, waving slightly at a mare who trotted by. The mare looked at her in confusion for a moment, but then returned the wave with a grin. She turned back to Pinkie Pie. “That mare who just waved at me actively avoided looking at me or being within several meters of my vicinity a week ago. It seems I am becoming more socially accepted.”
“That’s great!” Pinkie exclaimed, throwing her forehooves up elatedly. “It must be because everypony knows you’re actually super nice!”
“Hypothesizing: reactions may be due to ponies becoming more familiar with this unit.” She paused. “Another contributing factor would be previous positive reactions resulting from interactions with Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.”
“I’m so happy for you, Rinny!” Pinkie beamed and wrapped her forelegs around her.
“Hug initiated.” Turing returned the hug. “Hug complete.”
“And if you think you’re making new friends now,” Pinkie added, looking her in the eyes with a knowing grin, “then just wait until I teach you all. About. Being. Funny!” She poked her firmly in the chest on each word for emphasis.
“That sounds intriguing.” She looked down at Pinkie’s hoof as it was poking her in the chest. She then raised her own hoof and began poking Pinkie’s chest in response. “I hope. Your. Hypothesis. Is. Correct.”
Pinkie winced and rubbed her chest. “Ow.”
“I am curious as to why we came to this place, Pinkie Pie. What did you acquire?”
“Oh, right!”
She reached into her hair, far deeper than the poofy mane should allow if Turing’s sensor readings were correct. Finally, Pinkie removed something and held it out, grinning broadly as she did so. The object she held up, balancing on her hoof, was slender, curving, and yellow with small brown speckles on its soft skin.
“That is a banana, Pinkie Pie,” Turing said, though she was at that point more curious about the apparent spacial anomaly in Pinkie’s mane.
“Well duh, I know that, silly!” she said, giggling at the obvious statement. “But this is just what we need!”
“I do not require nutrition.”
“Nope! But we don’t need the inside of it.” She peeled the banana, squeezing it from the bottom, and shooting it into the air, then caught it in her mouth, swallowing it. “We only want the peel!”
She tossed it a few meters away.
“First lesson of comedy: ponies are used to things being a certain way, but getting them out of what they’re used to is funny!”
Turing looked over at the banana peel. “I do not understand.”
“You will! Today I’ll teach you the art of - pause for dramatic effect - the Pratfall!”
Turing cocked her head to the side. “I still do not understand.”
“It’s easy! You won’t get hurt for real, so this is perfect! Go over to that banana peel,” she said, leaning in and staring at her intensely, “and slip on it!”
Turing looked to Pinkie Pie and then to the banana peel and back. “You wish for me to tread upon the peel and lose my balance? How will that be funny?”
“Trust me,” Pinkie said, patting her on the shoulder. “Just go over there and slip. And really throw yourself into it, don’t worry about being careful!”
“Very well. Initiating slip.” She walked over to the peel, trotting quickly. With precise motion, she stepped squarely on the peel and her hoof slid out from under her. Her momentum was such that she actually flipped forward, head over heels.
The crowd of shoppers nearby stopped and stared at the scene unfolding before them.
Pinkie Pie watched. Oh my gosh, this is gonna be the best pratfall ever!
Turing was in midair when her systems kicked in: Initiating rebalancing. Compensating for gravity and momentum.
Turing jerked her body around and flipped over in a complete circle, landing squarely on her hooves. “Slip completed.”
The ponies nearby all applauded, cheering and stomping their hooves, impressed with her perfect landing.
“Augh, no, that’s not right!” Pinkie cried, trotting over to her. “Rinny, that’s not how you pratfall!”
“My actions were in error? What have I done incorrectly?”
Pinkie walked just past her and pointed down at the peel. “After you slip, you’re supposed to fall!”
“Understood.”
She then promptly fell, tipping over and landing on her side… and right onto Pinkie’s tail.
Pinkie was pulled back slightly as Turing’s weight caught most of the poofy pink mass and pinned it beneath her. It didn’t hurt, but it was pulling Pinkie’s hindquarters down into a half-sitting position. She rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “No, I mean you’re supposed to fall after you slip on the banana peel.”
The crowd of bystanders was getting larger. She chuckled and waved nervously. “Rinny, please get up,” she hissed through her gritted teeth.
“Very well.” She stood, but as she did so, it was clear that several long strands of hair from Pinkie’s tail were caught on various screws and the edges of her hull. "Tail has become entangled. Attempting extrication." She backed away, yanking the hair, the tail, and the owner of said tail with her.
“Owowow, my tail!” Pinkie cried as she was yanked off her hind legs. She dug her hooves into the ground to keep from being dragged. “Knock it off, Rinny!”
“You wish for me to knock your tail off?” Turing raised a metal hoof.
“No!” she screeched, wide-eyed and holding her hooves out in panic. She then clutched her tail protectively.
The crowd’s light chuckles grew and several ponies elbowed each other and waved over more friends to watch the scene as it unfolded.
“Just hold on,” Pinkie told her. She seized her tail with both hooves and began to pull backwards, mightily yanking while standing on her hind legs, her eyes closed and teeth grit as if pulling up a stubborn weed. "Why! Won't! It! Come! Loose?!" She heard the crowd laughing even louder and she opened her eyes to see Turing had also seized her tail, preventing her from freeing it.
“Rinnyyyy, why are you doing that?!” she demanded.
“You told me to 'just hold on.'”
“Well let go!” she shouted, continuing to yank.
“Understood.” She let go and Pinkie’s momentum, now unhindered, instantly caused her to topple backwards, snapping the strands of hair as she fell flat on her back. "Oww..."
The crowd’s light chuckles and mild amusement turned into a chorus of uproarious and insane gibbering. Several fell to the ground, tears rolling down their faces even as Pinkie stood, rubbing her abused hindquarters.
In spite of her embarrassment, she smiled and turned to her mechanical companion. “Well, it wasn’t what I had in mind, but we still got a big laugh out of everypony.”
There was a metallic sound and Turing looked down to see several of the ponies had even tossed bits at them, a few of which had tumbled into her brass hooves.
“We appear to have been successful. Ponies did indeed laugh. However...”
Pinkie bounced over to her, her big blue eyes wide and her smile broad. “What is it, Rinny? You made everypony laugh like you wanted, right?”
“That is true. However,” she paused, deliberately scratching her head, “I am confused. This was not intentional and it again resulted from my misunderstanding.”
Pinkie stopped bouncing, her smile fading away. “Yeah, but--”
“Furthermore, you were the object of their laughter, rather than I.”
Pinkie’s ears drooped. “Well, sure, but--”
“Also, I am puzzled. Laughter is an expression of delight, and yet this laughter seems to have occurred as the result of your pain and embarrassment. This seems less like something fun and more like cruelty.”
“It’s not cruel,” Pinkie said, shifting her eyes left and right uncomfortably. She leaned in closer to speak more softly. “It’s just… you know, a little harmless fun! Those other ponies weren’t being mean, they thought we were just acting! We even made a few bits! I didn’t get hurt badly and, besides, that’s what physical comedy’s all about!” She offered a weak smile. “Getting ponies out of their comfort zone, putting them a little off balance… that’s actually pretty funny!”
Turing tilted her head to the left and to the right. Then she looked down to where the banana peel was still lying. Finally, she turned her head back to Pinkie.
“I do not understand. The suffering of another for the amusement of onlookers does not seem to match with my goal of becoming friends. I neither wish to inflict harm, nor subject myself to ridicule. I wish to find another way to make others laugh.”
PInkie sighed, but held up a hoof and smiled as she did so. “Okay, Rinny,” she said with resignation. “I get it. Physical comedy isn’t your thing. Let’s just…”
She suddenly froze, her eyes going wide. “Wait a minute. Oh my gosh, I forgot, I told the Cakes I’d help them today! What time is it?” She searched around frantically. “Does anypony have a watch?!”
“In a manner of speaking, I am a watch. It is 11:08 AM.”
“Oh no, I’m gonna be late!” She began to gallop toward the Sugar Cube Corner. Turing ran after her and quickly caught up.
“Does this mean that our lessons will be postponed?”
“Maybe for a just a little while. I’m really sorry, but I need to work some overtime today to pay for those chairs that you… um, I mean the chairs that broke last night.”
“Ah.” Turing nodded, keeping pace with Pinkie. “Understood. Then I will also offer my assistance.”
“Rinny, you don’t have to do that,” she said, turning her head to her as she ran.
“I believe it to be the appropriate action. I was responsible for their destruction. I will assist you in order to compensate the Cakes for their property.”
Pinkie smiled. “Thanks, Rinny. And hey, that means I get to teach you about comedy and about baking!
***
Striding down the hall of one of the many buildings in Manehatten bearing his name, Cornelius Vanderbull made his way to a pair of double doors. He glanced over at the sign next to it:
Gadgette F. Giroux
Executive Assistant/Engineer.
He pushed the door open and swept into the room. The floor was hard concrete and the walls were bare brick. Large windows would have let more light in had they not been blocked with various bits of machinery and cabinets. Blueprints were stuck to one wall and various equations and other drawings were scribbled on the chalkboard. The various tables were littered with gears, wires, tools, batteries, and dozens of schematics.
The main desk nearby the door was practically hidden behind a virtual fortress of books and stacks of documents. He could see the movement of several mechanical arms working and moving several objects around as he approached the desk.
“Gadget?” he asked.
The girl shoved her wheeled swivel chair out from the desk and rolled into clear view.
“Hello sir!” she said, her momentum carrying her right past him. She reached with one of her hands and grabbed a nearby table to stop herself. “Do you need me?”
“We do have a meeting this afternoon, but that can wait. Since I’ve finished the morning’s work, I thought I’d check on your progress with our other project.”
She nodded. “Of course, Commodore.” She hopped off the chair and led him over to table with the spell card Fine Print had used on her. She picked it up and held it up to him. The innards of it were lined with tiny intricate patterns and he had to adjust his spectacles as he looked at them more closely.
“These things… such intricate, tiny circuits.” He drew in a breath sharply. “This is beyond what I was expecting. And you believe this is the sort of machinery that makes the automaton, er, Turing Test work?”
“That seems likely,” Gadget replied. She held up a magnifying glass. “I’ve checked it thoroughly and it’s even more impressive up close. But the thing is, even though it is so complex and advanced, it only really does one thing. It casts a spell and that’s it. Compared to Turing Test, it’s nothing special.”
Vanderbull shrugged. “Even so, a machine that can cast an advanced spell without a caster’s aid... I never thought such a thing could be achieved.” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have magical powers myself. It seems somepony has discovered a way to bring magic to the masses.”
“Since this is the first anypony’s heard of it, I wouldn’t call it ‘for the masses,’” Gadget retorted, making a face at the card. She set it down. “The only reason I haven’t made the Point Dexter widely available is because it takes so long to fine-tune it to a single pony’s unique physiology. If I ever make it universal - and a heck of a lot more affordable - I’ll make sure anypony who wants an extra set of hands can have them!”
“Then it seems that perhaps the creators of this nasty little device are not as high-minded as you, my dear.”
She chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck. “Well, I-I’m not really ‘high-minded,’ sir, I’m just doing what any good scientist would do.” She regained her composure and looked up at him. “But you’re right, sir. The ones who made this are probably keeping the technology to themselves so they can keep using it for weaponry.” She shuddered. “Being able to arm anypony they wished with offensive spells and teleportation… that’s really scary.”
“It worries me as well. It begs the question: just what did Princess Twilight run afoul of?”
“But there is good news, sir!” she exclaimed. She held up the small glass vial that had been attached to the spell card. “This vial still has trace amounts of thaumatrium in it. Thanks to Twilight Sparkle’s help, I’ve been researching how it’s made and, more importantly, who could make it.”
“Ah, so you believe it could lead to discovering Turing Test’s creators?”
“It might!” she cried excitedly. “As you know, I’ve already been doing research on where her other components might have come from. Refineries, clockwork manufacturers, machinists, automaton enthusiasts, not to mention who could pay for all that stuff. But now I can add thaumatrium manufacturers to the list of things to investigate! This could end up being a huge break for us!” She jittered, too excited to stand still. “Ooh, this stuff is so cool! And I’m even going to see if I can get Dr. Talon Turing in Trottingham to look at the card!”
He smiled. As usual, she isn’t hiding her enthusiasm. The girl is positively electrified.
He frowned at that last thought.
“Sir?” she asked, noticing his sudden change in mood. “Are you all right?”
“I… yes, I am. I just… well, Gadget, I must admit that when I read your full report that said you were attacked and nearly electrocuted by this ‘Fine Print’ fellow, I was absolutely horrified.” He turned away, refusing to look at her.
“Oh.” She looked down. “Are you mad at me for putting myself in danger?”
“What? Oh, no, no, you did nothing wrong!” he exclaimed, turning back to face her. “I… oh, blast it all.”
He knelt down and embraced the girl, surprising her enough that she momentarily flinched, but then relaxed.
“S-sir? I’m touched and all, but… are you all right?”
“No.” He steadied himself on one knee looking at her. “I was horrified at the thought that someone had attacked you and I was not there to protect you as I promised your parents I would. Someone hurt you. My own assistant. My protege. My good friend.”
She gasped. “Oh. Sir, you’ve… you’ve never called me that before.”
“I know, it is quite unprofessional of me,” he said quietly. “My apologies.”
“No, it’s just… surprising.” She returned the hug. “Thank you sir. I consider you my friend as well.”
He released her and stood up. “I’m glad.” He coughed, smoothing his coat.
She couldn’t help but smile. He’s embarrassed, she realized. Poor Mr. Vanderbull just isn’t used to showing that much sentiment.
“Gadget, you are one of my most valued employees,” he said. “But more than that, you bring a little light into this aging old bull’s life. However, you were hurt because you were involved in this fiasco. I am grateful it was not worse, but it certainly could have been. Whoever we are dealing with may have far worse things in store. And we have placed ourselves in opposition to them.”
She nodded slowly. “I see. You’re worried about my safety.”
“Yes. I always worry for the safety of those dear to me.”
Gadget’s smile broadened. “Understood, Mr. Vanderbull. I’ll be careful. But please, please don’t blame yourself, sir. I took on this assignment and it was my own interests that led me here. You didn’t put me in danger. I just wandered into it. After all, how could it have been your fault,” she added slyly, raising her eyebrow, “when it happened on my day off?”
They both chuckled at that. “Very well,” Vanderbull said. “I suppose you are right. But, just the same, notify me if you see or hear anything suspicious. I am not without my own means of protection. And nor are you, judging by the way you described thrashing about the lad.” He smiled, but then a thought occurred to him. “Though, now that I think about it, you are not normally a violent pony. Was there some personal grudge you had with him?”
She turned away, her cheeks reddening.
“Ah. Well, nevermind then.” He nodded to her. “Please continue your work, my dear. Keep me apprised as much as you can. I’d like daily reports on anything you find.”
She saluted, regaining her smile. “Will do, Commodore.”
***
“How are those cupcakes coming, Pinkie?” Mrs. Cake asked.
“Just a few more minutes, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie called, shouting from the kitchen. She was busily mixing a fresh bowl of chocolate cake batter. Turing was at her side, kneading a mass of dough that would eventually become jam-filled buns.
“You may inform her that the cupcakes will be taken out in 2 minutes and 24 seconds, Pinkie Pie,” Turing said.
“You’re even better than an egg timer, Rinny!” Pinkie said. “We’re getting so much work done today that Mrs. Cake said I probably won’t need to do any more overtime this week to pay for the chairs!”
“I am glad that I have helped improve efficiency.” She turned over the dough and examined it carefully. “The dough has been kneaded to proper consistency. I will now allow it to rise.” She turned and saw Pinkie tasting some of the batter with a spoon. Pinkie made a face and reached for a bag of sugar, but Turing went over and placed her hoof on hers, stopping her.
“Rinny? Is something wrong?”
“You should not add more sugar, Pinkie Pie. I have scanned the recipe book and this recipe called for 2 cups of sugar. I added precisely that amount to the dry ingredients. Adding more sugar will deviate from the recipe.”
“Oh, Rinny!” Pinkie laughed. “Recipes are more like suggestions than rules! I’m just going to add a little more. Plus some extra buttermilk. Ooh, and maybe some coffee to give it some zing!”
“The recipe does not require zing. By deviating from the recipe, you may ruin the cake.”
“I won’t,” Pinkie said, growing serious. “I know the cake will be better.”
“How are you able to determine that?”
“Because I… well, I just do! I’ve made and eaten plenty of cakes before, so I know what works and what doesn't! And I think this cake needs more sugar and buttermilk.”
“You are certain?” She looked back at the batter. “I do not wish for you to upset your employers.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Cake trust me to do my best! Some of my ideas are so good, they changed their recipes!”
Turing backed away and let Pinkie add the sugar.
“You must have exceptional baking skills to impress Carrot Cake and Cup Cake.”
“I’m not an expert like they are, but I know what tastes good!” she laughed.
Turing watched her continue to mix. “Taste good,” she echoed. “That is something else I am curious about. I have never tasted anything. In all likelihood, I will never taste anything.”
Pinkie stopped mixing momentarily. She began again, and whispered, “Yeah, I realized that last night. That’s kind of sad, Rinny.”
“I apologize, Pinkie Pie. I did not mean to ruin your mood. I only wished to--” She stopped and turned to the oven, opening it and removing the tray of cupcakes. She immediately put in another tray. “--comment on my own inability to taste things.”
“That really is too bad. Snacking on things is awesome!” She tasted the batter again, nodding to herself. “Oh yeah, this is gonna be gooood!”
“I should specify. I do not envy organics’ need to eat. In truth, the consumption of food seems odd to me.”
“Wait wait wait… you mean eating is weird to you?”
“Affirmative. Organics require nutrition to survive, so they find things which contain nutrients, use their mandibles to mash the material to a consistency that their systems can digest more easily, and then process with a series of highly specialized organs, only to excrete--”
“Ew, Rinny, we’re baking!” she said, making a face. “I don’t wanna think about that!”
“That is another odd thing. Palatability and appetite can be affected by one’s mental state. And often the consumption of foods of low nutritional value is favored over more nutritional food. Generally, taste is a determining factor. Indeed, many ponies seem to enjoy the act of consumption. It is all very difficult for me to understand. Should it not be the other way around?”
“Hey, I just make the cakes tasty, I don’t ask why they’re that way,” Pinkie said as she finished pouring the batter into a pan.
“‘Tasty.’ It appears to be a wonderful experience.”
“It is! There are all kinds of yummy things.” She looked down at the cake batter and inhaled, enjoying the sweet, chocolatey aroma and trying not to drool.
“I cannot comprehend what is ‘yummy.’ I wonder… what is sweet? Or spicy? Or salty? These are just words to me.”
Pinkie stopped mixing again. She went over to Turing, her eyes practically swimming. “I’m sorry, Rinny. Do you want to leave? I don’t want you to feel like you have to be around all this food.” She gestured to all the pastries. Ears back, head lowered, she added, “I understand if you don’t want to hear me talk about it.”
“On the contrary. It is providing me with input about various flavors, which is valuable information. Even if tasting is something I may never experience for myself or fully understand, learning what other ponies enjoy may allow me to better understand organic ponies and make friends with them. It is for those same reasons that I wish to learn humor: I wish to understand you and others like you, Pinkie Pie.”
“Aww, that’s really sweet, Rinny!” Pinkie said, embracing her suddenly. Then she stood bolt upright on her hind legs. “Oh, that’s right! While we’re baking, I’ll teach you some jokes!”
“Understood. I am ready to learn.”
“Okay, we’ll start with an easy one: Knock knock!”
Turing was silent.
“You have to say ‘Who’s there?’ Rinny.”
“That will not be necessary. I know you are there.” Turing waved her hoof dismissively, hoping it looked natural.
Pinkie took a deep breath and sat down as she attempted to explain what she meant. “Okay, you see, this joke works like this: I say ‘Knock knock,’ you say ‘Who’s there?’ then I say something, and you say what I just said and then add ‘who?’ and then I say the funny part!”
“It is a joke that requires my participation. Understood. Please proceed.”
“Okay, here goes: Knock knock!”
“Who is there?”
“Boo.”
“Boo who?”
“Don’t cry, it’s just me! Tee hee!”
Turing was quiet for a moment. “My original assertion was that I knew it was you who was there, Pinkie Pie, but you insisted it was not. Why did you mislead me?”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “No, no, see, the joke is that it sounds like you said ‘Boo hoo,’ like you were crying. So--”
“So the humor is derived from mocking my inability as a robot to cry?” Turing lowered her head, ears squeaking as they drooped as well.
“No, Rinny! I didn’t mean it that way!” she cried hurriedly. She put her hoof on her shoulder again. “It’s just a play on words, I would never make fun of you like that!” She offered her a warm smile.
“Understood. I am glad.”
“Okay, maybe that’s not your type of joke. Let’s try another. Hmm, easy ones, easy ones… all right, why was Six afraid of Seven?”
“I cannot say. As a number or an unspecified quantity of something, Six would lack emotional responses. Furthermore, as an intellectual concept rather than an entity, it would not have a survival instinct--”
“Rinny, Rinny,” Pinkie sighed, “that’s… let me try another.”
“Understood. You may proceed.”
“Okay, how about this one?” She took a deep breath. “A stallion walks into a malt shop carrying some asphalt. He says to the mare behind the counter, ‘Hey, I’d like a malt please, and one for the road!’”
Turing was very quiet. Pinkie waited, thinking maybe she’d finally told something she’d understood.
“So,” Turing said slowly, “the stallion desired to drink a malt.”
“Yes,” Pinkie said, nodding slowly.
“He then asked for a second, using the colloquialism ‘for the road,’ indicating that he would take the second malt with him when he left.”
“Yeeesss,” Pinkie Pie said, tensing up. Oh gosh, she’s getting it! She’s almost got it!
“And he was holding a chunk of the road with him when he placed his order.”
Pinkie Pie nodded, teeth grit, the vein in her head bulging. She’s… almost… there…!
“So, logically,” Turing said, pausing to rub her chin, “the stallion encountered a pothole.”
Pinkie froze. “What.”
“He encountered a pothole and wished to take the dislodged piece of asphalt to the necessary authorities.”
“Rinny…”
“Before doing so, he wished to sate his thirst with a malt. He thus ordered one to enjoy and another as he continued his journey to report the pothole.” Turing’s ears perked up. “Then perhaps the humor derives from delight at the stallion’s civic-mindedness. Correct?”
Pinkie groaned and slumped to the floor. “Rinny, some ponies know how to kill a joke. You, on the other hoof, don’t just kill jokes: you kill ‘em, stuff ‘em in a bag, and then hide the body where it will never be found.”
Turing turned her eyes off and on rapidly, simulating a blink. “It seems I have failed to understand the joke.” She rubbed her chin contemplatively. “Perhaps I require more input…”
“Pinkie, and um, Turing Test?” Mrs. Cake called. “Can you come out here and help? I need a few moments to help a customer!”
“Will do, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie exclaimed as she got to her hooves, glad to have something else to do than explain jokes to a robot. “Come on, Rinny!”
“Understood.”
The two of them went out to the front room and found Mrs. Cake behind the counter. She was quickly retrieving several pastries and boxing them up individually.
“Pinkie, Turing, would you two please take orders? This lunch crowd is getting bigger, we have a waitress out sick today, and Mr. Cake is at home taking care of Pound and Pumpkin. They’re a little fussy today!”
“Righty-O, Mrs. Cake!”
Turing turned to Pinkie as she said that, and then back to Mrs. Cake. “Righty-O, Mrs. Cake.”
Mrs. Cake gave a bemused expression and then continued taking her order from her customer.
Pinkie was already over at a table talking to a couple of ponies, so Turing went to a nearby table where she saw a stallion sitting by himself.
“Hello, sir,” she said. “Do you require sustenance?”
The stallion raised his head from the menu with a start at the sound of Turing’s artificial voice. “Huh? Oh, wait, you’re that, um… that thing, starts with an R…”
“I am Turing Test. That starts with a T. In fact, it is fully spelled T-U-R-I…”
“No, not that, the other thing. Ro… ro…”
“Understood. The word is ‘robot.’”
“Oh, right! That’s--”
“It is spelled R-O-B…”
“I’m not really interested in spelling it,” the stallion said irritably. “Um, so, you’re working as a waiter today?”
“As I identify as female, the term waitress may be more appropriate. Though the gender-neutral term ‘server’ is also acceptable.”
He sighed. “Uh, look, I’m having trouble deciding what to eat. What do you recommend?”
“I do not understand. Please clarify.”
“I… I mean, what’s good?”
“As I lack the ability to taste or eat things, I am unqualified to make an assessment. Many ponies seem to find the food here to be palatable. I have no doubt that one of the items will be pleasing upon insertion into your oral cavity.”
He shifted his eyes back and forth and looked over his shoulder, wondering to himself if this was some sort of elaborate prank. “You know, maybe I should just come back later…” He pushed out his chair and began to stand up.
“Rinny!” Pinkie said, rushing to her side. “Hang on, sir! I’m sure we have something you’d like! Do you want something sweet or maybe a nice sandwich?”
“Oh!” he said, happy to have a non-robotic waitress. “Um, I guess a sandwich sounds good.”
“We’ve got a great one called ‘The San Franciscolt!’ It’s made with sourdough, tomatoes, cheese, and some fresh, yummy alfalfa sprouts!”
“Mm, that sounds pretty good!” He smiled. “Okay, I’ll take one!”
“Yes sir!” She looked to Turing. “Tell you what, Rinny; I’ll take the other orders. Why don’t you see if you can prepare the food.” She gave her a list of orders from the other customers. Amazingly, she had already talked to almost everypony else in the place before Turing had even managed to take a single order.
“Understood. I will proceed quickly.”
True to her word, she rushed to the kitchen, grabbing up pastries, bagels, and other things and quickly ferrying them out to customers, one by one. She also made the San Franciscolt sandwich for her original customer and brought it over to him.
“Here is your order, sir. I apologize for my earlier ineptitude.”
“Oh,” he said, a little surprised by her apology, “no, it’s fine, really. Thanks for the sandwich.” He took a bite. “Mm… mmm!” He smiled and took another ravenous bite. Then he looked up to see Turing leaning in, watching him as he chewed.
“Fascinating.”
“Um… could you not do that?” he asked, swallowing.
“Oh. I am making you uncomfortable. I apologize, sir.”
She was about to walk away when the stallion said, “No, it’s okay. So, um, you’re just helping out around Sugar Cube Corner?”
“Correct. Though my main goal today is to learn to be humorous.”
“You mean, like… telling jokes?” He raised an eyebrow.
“That is one of our activities. I do not seem to be very good at it.”
“Oh, well… maybe you could try one on me,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “I’ve got a pretty good sense of humor.”
“That may be a good idea. I have yet to understand a joke, but perhaps by telling a joke, I may elicit your laughter. Causing others to laugh is a goal of mine.”
“Well, uh, go for it.”
“One moment please. I need to consult my teacher.”
She trotted back to the kitchen, where Pinkie was preparing more pastries.
“What’s going on, Rinny?”
“A customer wishes for me to tell him a joke. What joke should I tell him?”
“Oh, um… umm… ummmm… jeez, I can never think of a joke on demand! Ooh, I know, I have some joke books upstairs in my room! You can go up there, read one really quick, then come back down here and tell him one!”
“Understood. I will do so.”
She rushed upstairs and quickly located Pinkie’s room. She went to Pinkie’s room and found her bookcase. There were indeed several books related to humor, but she wasn’t sure which one to select. Deciding to simply select one, she pulled the shortest one off the shelf and scanned it. “Jokes acquired. Selecting joke at random…”
“Rinny, did you find it?” Pinkie called.
“I did. I am returning,” she called back. She rushed down the stairs and back to the stallion who was still enjoying his sandwich.
“Oh. You’re back.” He eyed her suspiciously. “So, um, do you have a joke?”
“I do. I hope it will be amusing.”
This curious scene attracted the attention of a few others. Pinkie Pie was standing nearby, eagerly awaiting Turing’s joke.
“I do not understand this joke myself, but perhaps you will be amused: What has brown coloration and has a sound resembling that of a bell?”
The stallion shrugged. “I don’t know. What?”
“Feces.”
He dropped his sandwich, looking ready to spit out the food that was in his mouth.
“You may now laugh.”
“I… I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“You need not apologize. Perhaps I was not clear enough. I was referring to fecal matter, which is--”
“Rinny, oh sweet Celestia, stop!” Pinkie shouted. “That was terrible!”
“In what way?”
“First of all, you can’t tell that joke in the middle of the bakery! And second, the joke is ‘What’s brown and sounds like a bell?’ And the answer is ‘Dung!’”
“Is that not what I said? What is the difference?”
“Because the word sounds like the sound a bell makes, Rinny!” she exploded. “Like this: Dunngg, dunngg, dunngg, du--”
“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?!” Mrs. Cake yelled, stomping her hoof. She’d apparently stepped into the back room and returned at just the wrong moment. “Why are you yelling that in the middle of the bakery?!”
Several customers were now staring at them. Gradually, a few of them began chuckling and talking to themselves and it was clear to Pinkie that she was the object of their laughter. Her cheeks burned and she began to sweat.
“But… but Mrs. Cake, I was just trying to explain the joke to Rinny!”
“I’ll thank you not to tell that sort of joke in front of the customers,” she said sternly, narrowing her eyes. “Now both of you please return to the kitchen.”
“Understood, Mrs. Cake. Pinkie Pie, you may continue your discourse on feces once there.”
The customers’ laughter intensified as Pinkie rushed into the back room. Turing followed her there and saw Pinkie resting her head on the countertop.
“Pinkie Pie? What is wrong?”
“Rinny, I just don’t know what to do.” She stared out vacantly and heaved a sigh. “I mean, you just read an entire book of jokes… don’t any of them, any of them at all make you laugh?!”
“Scanning… no reaction detected.”
“How is that even possible?” she whispered. “Sure not every joke is a winner, but not ONE?”
“I apologize. I cannot seem to discern what is humorous about any of the jokes. Though I have noticed an abnormally large amount of them involve chickens or light bulbs. In one case, both. Are flightless avians and forms of luminescence inherently funny?”
Pinkie buried her face in her hooves. “Rinny, Rinny, Rinny…” She heaved a heavy sigh. “Maybe we need to go simpler.” She paused, then gave a hopeful half-smile. “Try this joke: Do you know what they call a fake noodle? An impasta!”
“Do you mean ‘an imposter?’”
Her smile vanished. “No.”
“Is it amusing because you are mispronouncing the word? Is the malformation of words funny?”
“No, it’s funny because it sounds like ‘imposter’ and ‘pasta!’”
“And yet it is neither. Why is that funny?”
“Because it just is!” she exploded. "Why can't you understand--" She stopped herself and took a deep breath. “All right… all right, one last thing to try.”
She walked over to the counter and grabbed a cream pie. She then sat down and assumed a look of resignation and dignity. “If this old gag doesn’t work, then I don’t know what will.” And then she hit herself in the face with the pie.
Turing stared at her, seeing the crumbling bits of crust and cream slowly drip from Pinkie’s face as she looked back her. Pinkie’s big blue eyes were pleading, desperate.
Just then, Mrs. Cake walked in. “Pinkie, how is the dough for the jam buns…” She froze when she saw Pinkie, her face dead serious and dripping with the remnants of the pie. Periodically, a larger piece would hit the floor with a wet glop. The cream was slowly dribbling down into the shape of a beard. She and Turing were staring back at each other.
Turing noticed her and turned to face her. “Hello Mrs. Cake. I am uncertain of the reason, but I may be responsible for the ruined pie.”
Mrs. Cake tried to stifle a laugh.
“I was of course referring to the pastry, and not to Pinkie Pie. The actual pie. I am uncertain of the meaning behind this pie on Pie violence.”
At that Mrs. Cake lost it and started laughing loudly. She quickly excused herself, leaving the two of them behind.
Turing faced Pinkie again, who was cleaning the pie from her face, mostly by wiping it with her hooves and then licking them clean as somberly as one can lick pie off one’s hooves.
“I do not understand. Why did you destroy that pie instead of eating it normally? Also, why was Mrs. Cake laughing?”
“Rinny, I’m…” Pinkie lowered her head, seemingly unable to face her. After a heavy sigh, she raised her head again. She was frowning and her lower lip quivered. “I don’t think this is working out. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe… maybe robots just plain don’t have a sense of humor.”
***
At the Ponyville Train Station, an unexpected train was slowing and finally came to a stop. The engineer and conductor departed with concerned looks on their faces. They shared a mutually sympathetic look as the few passengers departed.
“Sorry again, folks!” the conductor said loudly. “Looks like this train needs to head for the nearest rail yard for emergency repairs. Talk to the ticket office if you’d like a refund or a ticket on another train at no extra cost. We apologize for the inconvenience!”
He noticed a mare carrying a particularly large suitcase. It was bulging out at the sides, clearly overstuffed and probably heavy. Feeling chivalrous, he trotted over. “Excuse me, Miss. I could help you with that if you like.”
She set it down. “Sure.”
The conductor bit down on the handle of the suitcase and prepared to lift it. It wouldn’t budge. He then grabbed it with both hooves as well, trying to hoist it. It barely budged.
“My goodness, Miss, that’s one heavy bag!” He set it down, panting. Jokingly, he asked “What do have in there, rocks?”
“Yes,” the mare replied. She was a gray earth pony with purple hair, and she wore a dull blue frock. She blinked slowly with heavy-looking eyes and looked at him with a deadpan expression. “Rocks. Pebbles. Gravel.” She walked over to the stunned conductor and lifted the bag with only one hoof, placing it gently on her back. “They’re for my research.”
“Oh. W-well, have a good stay while you’re here, Miss.”
“Thank you.”
And thus Maud Pie turned away, walking off the train platform and toward Ponyville. “I hope Pinkie’s not too busy for a visit today.”
To be continued...
Are you excited about Maud entering the story? I bet she is!
Oh yeah, she's excited.
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Maud Pie, mistress of deadpan.
If anypony can teach Turing humor, it's her.
Poor Pinkie...
The tragicomic fact is that Turing is cluelessly funny... in a completely comically serious way!
So probably Maud would be the best teacher possible...
The scene between Gadget and Commodore was a nice touch.
Looking forward to Gadget talk with Dr. Talon Turing.
In a related point, I'm looking forward to see the discussion between Twilight and Celestia - it would be interesting see how these two intelligent mares with divergent points of view, but that genuinally care and respect each other will reach a compromise. And Celestia do trust Twilight - after all, she let her student to analyse Turing... (I wonder if Celestia will allow Twilight to continue studying Turing - in part - to unconsciouslly (sp?) compensate for the events of the Canterlot wedding...)
Huh. Turing's pretty bad at abstraction.
Even if she understands words differently than most mammals, Pinkie telling her that a joke was funny because a word sounded like another would've been enough for her to try making a similar joke, and most people would've chosen a joke similar to one that Pinkie said earlier instead of choosing completely at random. And that makes me think: I wrote an algorithm for abstraction in college based off of Kuhnian's philosophy (I was super excited about it until I found out it was pretty much just a standard logic analyzer), and neurons work similarly, and both of those systems are practically based off of abstraction, so why isn't Turing good at those? I would think it was because the small number of cores a computer has compared to the brain, which practically has a core for every single distinguishable task. Turing's 'brain', being a standard computer processor based on what we've seen, would let her think very far into the future on one subject, but she could miss exploring neighboring interpretations, like the fact that in one of Pinkie's jokes, the man ordering a drink for the road could've been ordering the drink for the piece of road he was carrying, instead of for himself after he left. (In many computer languages, this vague meaning would cause a warning or an error.)
Y'know, it's kind of funny that Turing's bad at abstraction. Most people think that robots could easily surpass humans when it comes to intelligence, but abstraction is part of even the old IQ tests, so Turing would get a low score on those tests.
Edit: Oh, and speaking of how Turing compares mentally to mammalian neurology, she should express fear or disgust around things that carry bacteria, like feces, as there are microbes that survive by turning metals and silicon into rust. (Rates of corrosion for various materials seem to be around or greater than 1 cm / year. Depending on how Turing's made, that could kill her in less than a week if she's unlucky.) Even though Turing could generate more heat to get rid of some colonies, there are some microbes that can survive extreme temperatures with no negative effects, and even if there aren't microbes that can both eat metal and survive extreme heat, there's something called horizontal gene transfer that could easily allow such a microbe to come into existence if two microbes sharing those traits came into close contact. It's similar to why she should fear lightning.
How does Turing understand the concept of gender? did that happen in an earlier chapter?
Seriously , I hereby crown you the master of all robot related humor.
Slow Clap
This level of deadpan truly is marvelous.
6134648 Turing has a default database of basic "dictionary" things. Plus, the very night she was awakened, she identified herself as "Unit 003M," and commented that Twilight calling her a "her" was suitable since the "M" stands for "mare." So she has basic ideas about the world, including genders and that her design was more feminine. But she initially lacked information like who Celestia is or things like that. Thanks for asking!
Maud Pie and Turing Test.
This ought to be good. :D
Maud and Turing...this is going to be good.
Enter the Maud!
I think that one of the things holding back Turing in understanding jokes is her tendency to take language literally - she still is learning things like idioms and the like...
Would be interesting to see Twilight teach Turing chess and something like this happen:
Oh, hey Hat Man, would you mind if I wrote an aside chapter in the comments about an inventor, perhaps the Doctor, interacting with Turing? Being a bit of an inventor myself, I could give some insights you might not think of.
Also, if you're fine with that, would you want to help do it as a collab?
And so, the two battled on, trying to procure the humor needed to help Turing gain control of her power over the ways of the funny.
They tried many a technique, first harnessing the use of slapstick, Pinkie used her famous technique the Pratfall to show her student the way, however after many a minutes of falling over it was concluded her student could not harness in such a way the powers of funny.
Next the array of jokes and inconsistencies in wordplay and clever uses of wards overall, with her wit and charm Pinkie attempted to use such a fearsome addition to conversation on Turing, unfortunately the iron pony found she was still in a stump as her obliviousness to the higher forms of humor to be lacking.
Desperate, Pinkie tried one more time showing through practice, but even then Turing, even when her words inflicted great victory, had still not gained control over her art...
Even the final art, puns, couldn't win...
Conceding defeat, the party pony sadly told her student she could not help her, heartbroken the iron pony slumped in depression, unable to properly understand her talent with the funny, would she forever more, never understand the great gifts be-stressed upon her? It seemed that the situation was hopeless, with the threat of decommission looming from Celestia herself, held back by Twilight Sparkle.
And then, a mysterious stranger came to town... a suitcase of rocks and a monotone voice, gray coat and muscles like an Alicorn, this mysterious stranger with an alternate art in the gift of the funny...
Could she be the one to help Turing from her slump.
She was the mare of legend who walked a different road and became a master of the funny, just like her sister Pinkie.
She was Maud Pie, the master of deadpan and dry humor.
...
THIS IS GOING TO BE EPIC!
Now, actual analysis, I loved how you worked out this learning curve for Turing, and where you are possibly going for the future as well, Turing understanding humor and also Pinkie's reactions. Lots of times I wondered how Pinkie could be so positive when other people are rude or hostile in her presence, she seems to have an almighty belief that no matter what, any pony could laugh, any Griffin could giggle, any Minotaur can guffaw, and Diamond Dogs could howl in hilarity. The idea of Pinkie giving up on teaching humor is very interesting... I can only imagine how big of an impact it will be for Turing...
Now, I love to see that painting joke continued, it is awesome and completely funny.
Also, how many Maud's of force does Turing exert in E-mode?
Heh, I look forward to where this goes... also, that laugh... I need to see how Turing WOULD laugh with feeling in it, I'm sure it would be impressive...
i just got a grinch grin
6134522
This actually requires a little extra explanation, so I'll attempt to explain the problem.
First, you've hit on part of the problem quite closely. Turing can indeed grasp similarities and she can in fact do abstractions very well. Evidence of this is when she stops and corrects herself when Pinkie uses hyperbole and she realizes that it isn't literal. But jokes are another matter altogether. Let's take our example of the
manstallion ordering a drink. Turing was able to recognize to recognize that Pinkie was using an idiom "for the road," and was able to also recognize that the stallion might have been ordering a drink for the piece of asphalt to enjoy... but that poses a logical problem and Turing is logical to the point of obstinance:-Stallion may be ordering a drink for the asphalt.
-But asphalt is inanimate and thus does not drink.
-Therefore, he CANNOT be ordering a drink for the asphalt.
-Seek alternate solutions of why he wants a drink to take "for the road"...
This is part of her own developmental process, for while she is very intelligent, she hasn't figured out why a joke works. Even kids have trouble with that, and they're way more advanced than any AI we currently have in the real world. Example, a friend's child once told this joke to me: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "House." "House who?" "House eyeballs!" He had the form right, but didn't quite get why something was funny. I'll get into more of this in the next chapter.
And the second reason for Turing to not get the joke is because it's funny and the chapter would be a page long if she got the joke after only two or three tries.
I did not anticipate discussing how robots would react to poo.
Turing would avoid potentially hazardous material (although she has not shown fear or disgust as such). She also understands that the presence of it would be nauseating. But that's not the issue. It's that she finds it curious that the mere thought of it can make an organic pony lose his or her appetite, even if no actual poo is present. It's just another example I threw in to show, once again, that Turing often doesn't think about situations the same way we do.
PM me about this and maybe we can talk about it. If nothing else, I might like your idea and I'll be glad to give credit if it ends up getting used.
6135425 You mean this, of course.
I love that scene. However, I didn't want to copy it, although Turing Test and Discord's paths will eventually cross...
6135648
Ah, she ignores the absurd. A lot of people do that actually. Though, absurd and abstract can often be quite close.
Also, I get that it wouldn't be as funny if Turing got the joke, but I like analyzing things.
Okie dokie. I'll PM you after I've rested so that whatever I type will be coherent.
Just like Maud, I am brimming with excitement at what is to come.
i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx216/ScoopIrish/maud_pie_rockin__out__by_countschli_zpsbb2a8c99.gif
Oh gods... this is going to be crazy... I just know it!
I'd swear DAUGHTER should have been at the end! These two have a father/daughter vibe going that I adore and I can totally see Vanderbull letting out a bellow of rage is someone hurt Gadget in front of him before going medieval on their butt.
Wait... doesn't that mean Mr. Cake is just upstairs??? Did the Cakes move out of Sugarcube Corner when I wasn't looking????
I think Turing's problem is she needs to be the Straight Mare to Pinkie's Silly Mare. I have to wonder if Turing could get through the whole Who's on First Routine and name all the players and their positions??? Hopefully Maud will be able to teach her what she needs to learn.
Turing, ever the straight-mare.
and also, her trying to laugh, reminded me of the old 1996 movie "Solo".
And i got to thinking recently, about this story. I'm sure someone has brought it up, but, does Turing have an A-mode? Cause I think that is what had Fine Print so annoyed.
6136043
This was a little bit of confusion for me, but I'm under the impression that Pinkie rents the room above Sugar Cube Corner while the Cakes have their own house. I'm not sure if it's ever been established. Funny enough, I actually cut a scene where Turing has a brief conversation with Mr. Cake upstairs, but it broke up the momentum, so it'll probably go somewhere else.
And oh yes, Mr. Vanderbull is a lot more collected than Iron Will, but he will go "Raging Bull" on anypony that hurts Gadget. Umahara/Fine Print had better steer clear.
Made in a world of friendship!
Against the odds!
We choose to fight!
Turing Test!
I really hope somebody gets the reference...
6136447 Given that we see a nursery, dining room, and second bathroom in Sugar Cube Corner when Pinkie foalsits the twins, I think it's safe to say the Cakes live there full time. It's also way bigger than a simple bakery. And I think Vanderbull needs to get his hands on Umahara/Fine Print while being provided with a large bludgeoning object.
6137016 Xenoblade Chronicles?
6137168 This is totally cheating, but I'm going with this headcanon: Pinkie lives above Sugar Cube Corner as the Cakes' apprentice; it's her permanent home. The Cakes have some rooms up there as well as a temporary living space so they can stay there and work on big orders and not have to go home. Since they were taking care of the twins at SCC during "Baby Cakes," they have the necessary supplies there even if it isn't their permanent residence. I'm guessing they have their own little cottage elsewhere in Ponyville, making Pinkie the only more-or-less permanent resident. In this particular instance, the twins and Mr. Cake are back at the cottage.
Please go with this. I don't want to have to write another excuse for why Mr. Cake isn't there today.
6137855 Yes, Dunban's Blossom Dance.
6136242 A-Mode was discussed, though not in name, in Chapter 3. Here's a reminder:
And also this:
So, yeah, she can simulate the abilities of all the races, but only one at a time. Hope that explains things!
6138491 So what would happen if the Mode Switch were to be temporarily disabled, cause I could see where that would make for an interesting
or three. Just that idea alone;
6138555
Then yes, she could activate all 3 modes at once... and a few minutes later, she'd probably die. The extreme heat would do irrevocable damage to her. If you've ever seen or had a computer that overheated, then you know that heat does bad things to electronics.
6137855 I can accept that. Plus, I can see having the upstairs as a place to rest between rushes at the shop or eat something they didn't bake.
Are you planning to have the expression "Frankenstallion's Complex" (the fear toward mechanical ponies) to appear in the story? As the equestrian equivalent of the Frankenstein's Complex?
(And we know that there is literature about robots in Equestria - the mentioned "I, Automaton", "Frankenstallion" and the comic books that made Turing relate to the word "robot" over "automaton" - it would be interesting a discussion somewhere (maybe a side story?) about how they are depicted on it...)
And would Time Turner/ Doctor Whooves and/or Bon Bon/ Special Agent Sweetie Drops appear on the story? The former would be an interesting help to Twilight and Gadget with his scientific background and give a perspective that could not occur to them, and the latter could work as an alternate source to Celestia about Turing's progress....
6146250 This is less about Frankenstein's Complex, which honestly seems wrongly applied with apologies to Asimov. To me that name implies fear of your creation usurping and destroying you, and thus far the only one of Turing's creators that we've seen is Umahara. I suppose that, in part, I regret the direct Asimov reference earlier in the story because it makes it seem like ponies have thought about the subject of artificial beings as much as we humans have, and that is not what I wished to imply. Whoops.
It is the case, however, that others fear Turing on sight, much like they initially feared Zecora. Some who are aware of her presence simply disregard her. Some ignore her due to familiarity, and others are almost instinctively horrified by her.
But thematically, this story focuses more on themes of the ramifications of technology, on Luddism, and on the nature of existence in general. Since she's the only one of her kind out and about, there isn't enough cause to apply the name.
As for the background characters, I have plans...
This is fantastic! Pinkie Pie is reacting exactly like I thought she would when trying to teach Turing humor. I can't wait to see how Maud's point of view can help with this situation. I wonder if Turing will be able to read Maud like Pinkie after a while? I have always imagined that Maud does make a lot of facial expressions, but they are so small that they are practically invisible unless you know what you are looking for.
Those magitek cards are amazing! Celestia really needs to get over her fear of technology soon and fund the research and development of those cards. Then she will be able to give the Royal Guard a standard issue deck of cards to use not only for emergencies, but also to increase their flexibility in various situations.
Finally, I really liked Turing's reaction to Rarity's gift in the previous chapter. Not only was it cute, but it brought another light to her developing personality; Turing enjoys being pretty.
Is it possible to thumbs-up something twice?
Because this story deserves it!
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Ah, I understand. Probably ponies didn't thought like we do about artificial intelligence (probably the fact that automatons are not pursued is the reason) - but I would be surprised if there was no fiction at all about the subject... and let's be honest: if there is a pony that would have such niche literature, it would be Twilight
Maybe "Frankenstallion" was the book more associated to automatons due being written around the time that such technology was moving forward (and popularlly known as "Things-that-ponies-should-not-try!" instead of more appropriate "Assume-the-responsability-for-what-you-create!") and "I, Automaton" was written as an exasperated response...
(Maybe somepony would coin the expression? Maybe after Applejack refuses again to give a chance to Turing, Rainbow would comment... "It is a she have a Frankenstallion's Complex or something!!".... It could work
I see what you mean.
But it don't mean that she will stay as the only one, right?
And maybe that could bring the "Star Trek's The Measure of a Man"-argument into the table: with more Turings, she changes from a unique device to a member of a species - and Equestria was build by the union of different species... so...
:
Waiting to read about them!
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Thanks for the comments! The magitek cards are indeed pretty handy, but it brings up something which I honestly may or may not explore in this tale: the idea of keeping the lightning in a bottle, as they say, is a huge problem. If Celestia were to find, detain, and destroy all the cards and imprison any who knew how to make them, then nopony would have them. But if the Guard started using them, then eventually somepony else would probably get them and the tech would spread. Just like with firearms or nuclear weapons, once the technology becomes available, they become a part of the world. I'm not taking a side, just that Celestia would be cognizant of those issues. Of course, the current problem is that Umahara's group has them an nopony else does.
And yeah, Turing still remembers being accepted more when she had her paint job, so she wants to regain that same feeling of acceptance.
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No idea, but the sentiment is appreciated!
6157733 Interesting stuff! I confess I'm just not prepared to delve into all the possibilities of the literature, so I cannot and do not wish to say how close Equestrian literature would be to our own. Still interesting to think about and I'm glad you are!
I won't say anything about any of Turing's predecessors or the like, but I will point this out: Turing is made of titanium, runs on thaumatrium, her eyes are made of polished amethyst stones, and she has a brain that is more advanced than any other technology known to ponykind. In short, she is EXPENSIVE. You can bet that a race of her would be pretty unfeasible at this point. In the future, perhaps.
Not unlike our own future, I imagine...
again, i am not a fan of moments, where Pinkie speaks about the story being a story, or stuff like that, "fourth wall" could be other stuff as well i think.
of course, Maud is like Turing Test in a way, i like both of them, and both are like robots
NOT WHILE I'M EATING!!!!!
yay muad vs robot fight
and I thought my jokes were bad
6138555 R.I.P legion.
6139025 What if she was in a severely cold environment at the time for example space or during a blizzard in the arctic.
A lot of Pinkie and Turing's interaction reminds me of old Abbott and Castillo skits and the straight man/ funny man interaction they were famous for
6998300 That's a bit of what I was going for, though the twist is that Pinkie's trying to be the funny one and she's sort of playing the straight mare to Turing Test. It was a really fun group of chapters to write.
Maud's eyelashes/eyeliner ON POINT
6139025 Will she be opening "Heaven's Door" then?
I loved that OVA and movie.
Other than bypassing her "Mode Switch", do she have any other way of overclocking herself? Seems like running at 100% all the time would be bad.
Then there is Scotty's Maxim."Always keep somethin' in reserve, so when da captain needs more powah ye can give it ta him!"
I'd gather a bunch of similar jokes, like impasta for example, and have Turing analyse them for similarities.
Then I'd systematically explain: "Humor is all about subverting expectations. So let's look at this one. This joke is talking about spaghetti, which is a pasta. And it's a fake, making it an imposter. Now if we combine the words pasta and imposter, the result impasta is outside their expectations, which will cause a reaction - in this case, laughter.
Now, I want you to generate a joke like this from scratch, and see if you can make me laugh."
7051910 yes, quite. But where are her eyebrows?
Perhaps thats something they have in common?
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I do see your point, however, both are "emotionless"/expressionless ponies. I am merely stating that her eyeliner is very well done.
I can hear her voice in my head and it sounds SO BAD XD
Also jesus the emotional roller coaster of this arc. From laughing my ass off to nearly sobbing over and over. I feel so bad for pinkie pie.
I LOVE MAUD!!! I bet she and Turning will get along GREAT! <3
Maud is one of my favorite characters.
I can't wait to see her and Turing interactions. 