Giggle at the Ghost in the Machine, Part 1
“Thanks again for taking me down to the train station,” Gadget said. Her lone suitcase was nearby and she, Twilight, and Turing Test all sat patiently on the platform as they awaited the arrival of the morning train.
“I’m glad you came to visit, Gadget. Sorry again for all the, you know… drama.” Twilight smiled warmly at the younger mare. “You really helped out a lot, though. And I know Turing Test enjoyed having you too! Right, Turing?”
“Affirmative.”
They waited for her to say more, but she merely sat there like a sentinel, much as she always did.
“Well, don’t get all mushy on me, Turing,” Gadget said sarcastically, though she chuckled anyway.
“Understood. I will maintain my current rigidity.”
Twilight and Gadget shared a mutual facehoof.
“That gesture,” Turing remarked, turning her head to observe the two of them. “Am I being exasperating again?”
Twilight looked away. “You know, I should stop doing that around you.”
“Same here. I feel guilty about it now.” Gadget yawned suddenly and covered her mouth with one of her mechanical hands.
“Did you receive insufficient rest last night, Gadget?” Turing asked.
“I don’t think either one of us got that much sleep at all, honestly,” Twilight said. She gave a yawn as well. “But that party sure was fun. I especially liked stargazing with you two...”
***
The previous night…
The three of them were staring up at the stars, lying on their backs out on Twilight’s balcony. It was a clear night and the sheer number of stars that dotted the heavens was almost overwhelming. Gadget had taken off the Point Dexter to be more comfortable, and periodically she made small notes on her notepad.
“And that one, Turing,” Twilight said, pointing at one of the constellations, “is Monoceros, the Unicorn.”
“I do not see how it resembles a unicorn, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Well, most constellations don’t really resemble such things,” Twilight replied. She smiled slightly. She’d had such conversations with her friends before. She knew a great many constellations and most of them, even with the charts, barely looked like anything to anypony. “But they’re still part of our history. Even back in the early days of Celestia and Luna’s reign, some ponies still believed in the myths about those stars.”
“Of course,” Gadget said, cutting in, “we now know that they’re just balls of hot burning gas far, far away. They aren’t even really that close to each other; they just look like pictures to us ponies down here.”
Twilight made a face. “Well, sure. But it’s still fun to retell those old stories. Just because they’re myths is no reason to forget them.”
“I guess,” Gadget said. “But I just can’t get over the fact that ponies really used to believe that they were real things that had been put in the sky. And now we retell those stories like fairy tales for fun. Still, they are beautiful. I don’t get a good look at them from Manehatten: the city’s electric lights get in the way.”
“That’s too bad,” Twilight remarked. “But I guess sometimes you have to sacrifice something when you adopt new technology. We lose precious things in the name of progress.”
“Does that include me, Twilight Sparkle?” Turing asked.
Twilight and Gadget went totally silent at Twilight’s unintentional faux pas. The looked at each other, silently wondering what the other should say.
“Perhaps you did not hear me. Repeating--”
“No, no, I heard you, Turing,” Twilight said. “Um, no, so far I haven’t had to give up anything precious for you. In fact, the last day or so has made me happy that you’re here.”
“Understood. I am glad, as I do not wish you to lose something for my sake.”
Twilight sighed, relieved that Turing didn’t take offense. Granted, she wasn’t sure Turing could actually feel insulted in the first place, but that was no reason to be insensitive. She then noticed that Gadget seemed somewhat distracted from her stargazing.
“Gadget, I noticed that you keep writing things on your notepad. What are you up to?”
“Hm? Oh,” she said, showing Twilight the sketch she’d drawn. It was crude, but it looked like Turing’s basic shape along with several notes alongside it. In big letters were the words “FARADAY CAGE.”
“What does that mean?” Twilight asked.
“Glad you asked!” Gadget said, standing up. “So, Turing is built exceptionally well. The amount of advanced technology and innovation she carries is just astonishing. But, if you’ll forgive the insult, you do have a few notable flaws.”
“There is no need for forgiveness, Gadget,” Turing said. “The existence of flaws appears to be a normal part of any being.”
“Right, so--”
“For example, your nearsightedness or Twilight Sparkle’s obsessiveness or--”
“Yes, thank you, Turing, I understand,” Gadget said, fidgeting with her glasses self-consciously. “Anyway, the biggest problem you have is--”
“A lack of eyelids?”
“What? No!” Gadget said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll work on that problem later. For now, your biggest problem is your vulnerability to lightning. The ponies who designed you either didn’t think about protecting you from electric shocks or didn’t think they were a significant risk. The fact that lightning damaged you and made you lose your memory before Miss Applejack’s sister found you is proof that you do need some protection. Especially if you’re going to be flying through more clouds. Even a small electric shock could wreak havoc on your systems.”
“That is true,” Twilight remarked. She looked over at Turing worriedly. “That’s something I was a little worried about when you challenged Rainbow Dash to a race.”
“Understood. Do you have a remedy for this?”
“I do!” Gadget cried excitedly, holding out her sketch again. “A Faraday cage would direct electric shocks around your internal systems and prevent damage. Your hull mostly works like one anyway, so with some modifications to your internal structure, Turing, I think I could protect you from electric shocks or high-intensity electromagnetism that could damage your processes.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, I can’t do anything on this visit. I’ll need to get some extra wiring and maybe some mu-metal to protect you.”
“Well, if you can’t do anything about it now,” Twilight said, patting the floor next to her, “then come sit back down and enjoy the stars with us.”
“Yes. Your companionship is providing me with significant data and experiences, Gadget, though I thank you for considering ways to improve upon my structure.”
“Actually,” Gadget said, pulling her jacket around her, “could we go back inside? I’m having fun and I don’t want to end the night already, but it’s getting cold out here. I’m freezing my tail off!”
Turing was on her hooves in a second. “Quickly, Gadget: we must go inside and I will use my mane or tail to warm you.”
“W-what?” Gadget asked. “There’s no big hurry, Turing.”
“You indicated that your tail was suffering extreme hypothermia to the point of possible loss.”
Gadget resisted another facehoof as Twilight chuckled. “No, no, Turing, she was just using an expression.”
“Clarifying: she was using an idiom?”
Twilight nodded as she got up. “Right. She was using hyperbole: she was saying something that was way more extreme than the truth to show her feelings.”
Turing tilted her head slightly. “Accessing… hyperbole definition found. Analyzing… understood.”
“Uh, good. So, like, if I wanted to say something like that, I could say ‘It’s so cold that I’m freezing my wings off!’” She ruffled her wings slightly for emphasis. “Why don’t you try it?”
Turing looked down at the wings, then back up at Twilight and then from her to Gadget. “Understood. Attempting hyperbole…”
Gadget and Twilight leaned forward, hoping that this would be Turing’s first successful attempt at hyperbole.
“The ambient temperature is of such insufficient heat--”
“Turing, Turing,” Twilight said, “just ‘It’s so cold,’ will be fine.”
“Understood. Correcting idiom…” She paused a moment before trying again. Her companions waited with bated breath.
“It is so cold that I am freezing my nuts off.”
They both gawked at her, eyes wide and jaws dropped.
“Was that sufficient?”
“Turing...” Twilight began slowly, “that was… um… what did you mean?”
“My nuts.” Turing looked between the two of them.
“Okay, Twilight,” Gadget said, still staring at Turing. “I call ‘not it’ on explaining this.”
“Is my hyperbole not logical? I was indicating that my nuts would freeze, possibly to the point of them becoming brittle and breaking off--”
Gadget started to cough, which started to turn to laughter. Twilight’s horror grew worse.
“--the end result of which would be that my bolts would come loose. That would be a disadvantageous situation, correct?”
At last Twilight also laughed. In fact, the two of them practically collapsed to the floor from laughing so hard.
“Ohhh!” Twilight exclaimed. “Oh gosh, oh thank goodness! ‘Nuts and bolts!’ You meant those nuts!”
“Correct. These nuts.”
Their laughter grew louder and more insane, though Turing never did understand what they were laughing at. She only watched them, curious, as Twilight, still laughing, led them inside.
***
“Oh boy, the next time I see a bowl of almonds or something, I’m going to lose it,” Gadget said, still chuckling to herself.
The train had arrived and various ponies were boarding. Gadget took one last look at her friends before she had to go.
“Well, Twilight, Turing, it was a lot of fun.” She went over and hugged Twilight. “Thanks for a wonderful time.”
She then moved to Turing and likewise hugged her.
“Hug initiated. Reciprocating hug.” Turing wrapped her forelegs around Gadget. “Is this sufficient?”
“Can’t--hrk--breathe!” Gadget croaked.
Turing immediately released her, but then Gadget started laughing again. “Ha! Just kidding!”
Turing tilted her head to the side. “You are uninjured?”
“No, it was just a joke, Turing!” Gadget said, still laughing.
Twilight rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “Gadget, please don’t tease her. She doesn’t get those kinds of jokes yet.”
“Right, right, I’m sorry.” She smiled at the two of them and took a deep breath. “Well, this is it. I better get on. If I miss this train, Mr. Vanderbull will eat me for breakfast.”
Turing was on her hooves again.
“--Figuratively!” Gadget said, holding out her hoof. “I just mean Mr. Vanderbull will be angry.”
Turing sat back down. “Understood.”
Gadget hung her head slightly. “I… I really wish I could stay longer. But Mr. Vanderbull wants me to look more into who might have built you, Turing. We’re just starting the search process, but now that I’ve got this,” she said, holding up the used mechanical spell card Fine Print had used on her, “we might have another clue. Plus, maybe somepony will track down Fine-- that guy.” She hesitated before adding, “Um… I’d really like to visit again soon, Twilight, if that’s okay.”
“Sure!” Twilight said, smiling brightly. “Next time you have another day off, please come visit! Just send me a letter or a telegram first, all right?”
Gadget nodded emphatically.
“All aboard!” the conductor shouted.
“Oh jeez, I better go!” She picked up her suitcase with one of her mechanical limbs and ran to the train car.
Turing and Twilight watched as the train began to move, slowly trundling down the tracks. Just before they were about to turn away, a window on the passenger car opened. Gadget stuck her head out the window.
“Goodbye, Twilight! Goodbye, Turing! Don’t forget to write!” All four of her mechanical arms stuck out of the window and began to wave goodbye in unison. Except for her front left hand, which flashed a peace sign.
Twilight sighed. “I’m going to miss that strange girl,” Twilight said as they watched the train depart.
“I will miss her too. Gadget is very kind to me. In that respect, she is much like you, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Oh, that’s nice of you to say, Turing,” Twilight said, “though I honestly still feel bad about how I was treating you. I’m going to find a way to make it up to you, though. For starters, I’m going to talk to Applejack about what happened as soon as I can. Heck, after what happened with Fine Print, we even know that you’re not under anypony’s control.”
“It seems not. I am glad. I do not desire to harm anypony. It was fortunate that Gadget removed my emergency maintenance codes.”
“We’re all lucky she was passing by when you confronted Fine Print.” Twilight sighed. “I still can’t believe you don’t remember any of that. He really erased part of your memory, didn’t he?”
“Affirmative. However, they do not seem to have been particularly significant.”
Twilight smiled contentedly. “Honestly, Turing, I’m just glad you’re safe. When I found out what almost happened to you, I… I really got worried.”
“Thank you for your concern, Twilight Sparkle.”
The two of them continued on until they reached the castle. But it was then that Twilight noticed the pink envelope stuck to the castle door. She removed it with her magic and tore it open. A burst of confetti flew out and Twilight, momentarily startled, gave a laugh as she removed the letter inside to read it.
“What does the exploding letter say, Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight smiled. “Looks like you’re about to have another first-time experience, Turing.” She opened the door and led her in. “I better go tell Spike so we can all get ready for tonight. You’re getting your very first Pinkie Pie party!”
***
That evening, Twilight, Spike, and Turing approached Sugar Cube Corner.
“The facade of this building resembles confections.”
“Yes, Turing, that’s the idea,” Twilight said.
“Would that not cause some ponies to attempt to devour parts of the building? That would compromise the structural stability.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Turing, I doubt anypony would be foolish enough to actually try eating it.”
“Understood.” She looked at the box Twilight was carrying. It was flat, wrapped in bright purple paper, and tied with a green ribbon and bow. Spike also had a box with similar wrapping, though it was smaller and more cube-shaped. “You are bringing this as a present for this party,” Turing remarked, pointing at the box. “I have read that it is often customary to bring a gift, yet I have not prepared one. Is that not a problem? I do not wish to appear unfriendly at such a social gathering.”
Twilight and Spike exchanged glances, both grinning mischieviously.
“I don’t think anypony will expect you to bring a gift to this party, Turing,” Spike replied. “Just try to have fun.”
“Fun.” Turing echoed the word, her ears twitching as they neared the door. “I will attempt to experience it.”
They knocked on the door and it instantly opened, nearly ripped from its hinges by the exuberant pony inside.
“You’re all here!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “Come on in! Everypony, they’re here!”
They entered and half a dozen other ponies were there to greet them. They all cheered when Turing stepped in.
“Strange. Inquiry: Twilight Sparkle, why is everypony staring at me?”
Twilight beamed. “Because this isn’t just a party, Turing… Pinkie Pie threw this party specifically for you!”
Turing Test took in her surroundings. There was a table which held a massive cake and a bowl of punch along with other party snacks. Another table held several gifts. Over the table was a banner which read:
“HAPPY BIRTH ACTIVA ONE WEEK TURNING ON-IVERSARY, TURING TEST!”
Turing slowly seemed to understand. She saw the gifts piled on a separate table. And she saw that everypony was looking directly at her. Rainbow Dash and Rarity were there along with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Bulk Biceps, Pallette Swap, and a few other ponies who had congratulated her on the race against Rainbow Dash were also there. And of course, there was Pinkie Pie, who had a massive, toothy grin on her face. She, along with everypony else, seemed to be waiting for her to respond in some way.
“Please clarify: you are having a celebration as the equivalent of a birthday party. And it is for my sake that you are throwing it. Is this correct?”
“Exactly!” Pinkie cheered, leaping into the air. “Sweetie Belle, go start the music and we can get this party started!”
The music began and everypony began to mingle, dance, or just enjoy some snacks as the party got underway.
Twilight gave Turing Test a small hug. “Happy birthday, Turing Test!” she said.
“But Twilight Sparkle, it is, in fact, not my birthday.”
Pinkie Pie zipped over to the two of them. “That’s true!” she said. “I realized that when I was making the banner. I was like, ‘I never had a party for Turing Test’s birthday!’ And then I was all, ‘But she wasn’t actually born, she was built!’ but ‘happy being built day’ doesn’t have the right ring to it either, plus we don’t actually know when you were built, so I went with ‘happy activation day’ but that wasn’t right either since it was a week ago, so I finally settled on ‘one week turning-on-iversary!’”
Turing Test stood listening to this, her gaze impassive as ever. “Thank you for describing the process.”
At that moment, Rarity walked over, levitating a cup of punch, and put her hoof on Turing’s shoulder. “Good to see you again, Turing. I hope this experience is a bit more chipper for you. After all, one week and with all that you’ve gone through!”
“That is true. I believe that I have grown. Perhaps one could say I have ‘matured.’”
“Matured? Oh ho, well,” she said slyly, taking a sip of her punch, “in that case, enjoy your ‘Bot Mitzvah.’”
Pinkie Pie’s eyes dilated. “Nooo!” she cried, dropping to the floor, causing everyone to stare at her. “That’s what I should have called it!”
The partygoers shrugged off this outburst and returned to their activities. Rarity rolled her eyes and tried to help Pinkie Pie back to her hooves.
“Pinkie Pie,” Turing began, “I am uncertain of why you chose to have this celebration for my benefit. As of yet, we have not acknowledged each other as friends.”
“Oh!” Pinkie exclaimed, standing up so suddenly that Rarity stumbled back, spilling her punch. Pinkie hooked her foreleg around Turing’s neck and began to lead her around the room. “Well, first I heard from Spike about how he and Twilight became friends with you,” she said, pointing over at Spike, who was already stuffing his face with hors d'oeuvres, “and then Rarity,” she pointed back to Rarity, who was getting up and frantically trying using several dozen napkins to clean punch off of her coat and mane, “and of course everypony heard about you and Rainbow Dash! I was helping the Cakes with a huge catering order and then I had to babysit Pound and Pumpkin, but Dashie told me all about what had been going on!”
“I see. You have been following my activities.”
“I sure have! I figured ‘The Iron Horse’ deserved a follow!”
“Analyzing… you refer to me using the nickname the newspapers gave me before my current designation of ‘Turing Test.’”
“Yep!” Pinkie Pie said, nodding. “So, I figure if so many other ponies, plus one dragon, wanted to make friends with you, then that means I should try to make friends with you too!”
“Understood. I hope we will become friends quickly.”
“Yay! Me too! I know we’re going to be best friends in no time, Rinny!”
Turing cocked her head to the side. “Please clarify: did you just call me ‘Rinny?’”
“Sure did!” Pinkie replied. “Sometimes I like to give some of my friends nicknames, so I’ll call you Rinny! See, because it’s short for Tu-RINg Test, get it?”
“I do not understand. Many ponies simply call me ‘Turing.’ Both ‘Turing’ and ‘Rinny’ are two syllable words and therefore it is no shorter.”
Pinkie sank, her eyes, smile, and even hair seeming to deflate. “Oh. You don’t like it?”
Turing tapped her head, trying her best to indicate that she was thinking it over. “My apologies. I was commenting on the value it had as a shorter name. However, the name ‘Rinny’ seems similar to other nicknames given as a sign of affection or friendliness. I do wish to engender such feelings. It is therefore satisfactory and I will accept it as a nickname. Thank you, Pinkie Pie.”
“Woohoo!” Pinkie then turned to the rest of the party-goers. “All right, everypony! How about we open some presents and then play some party games?”
The crowd cheered, parting the way for Turing to step up to the table with the gifts piled onto it.
“Go ahead, Rinny,” Pinkie said, gesturing to the pile. “Pick whichever one you want to open first!”
“Is there a procedure for choosing the first?” she asked.
“Nah,” Rainbow Dash said, hovering over the table, “just pick one that looks cool to you. Although, if you need a suggestion…” She pointed at one of the boxes tied with blue wrapping and cloud-shaped patterns. “This one is probably the awesomest.”
“Understood. Engaging U-Mode.” Turing’s horn slid into place and she levitated the box down to her. Gently, slowly, she began to unwrap the gift without ripping the paper. The process was slow and meticulous and everypony began to fidget.
“Uh, one second,” Twilight said quickly, coming in close. She whispered in Turing’s ear: “Turing, listen: for one, you should rip the paper, don’t worry about being neat. Also, make sure to say ‘Thank you’ for the gift, no matter what. It’s polite.”
The other ponies leaned in closer, wondering what Twilight had whispered to her. Twilight just chuckled, trying her best to look innocent. Turing merely nodded.
“Adjusting unwrapping procedure,” Turing said, and ripped the paper off loudly. Everypony seemed to relax and laughed as she tossed the used paper over her shoulder. “Identifying gift: it appears to be a framed photograph of the two of us at the start of our first race.”
“Yeah, somepony snapped it before we started. I tried to get a picture of us actually flying in the race,” Rainbow said, “buuuut we were going too fast, so all the photos everypony took turned out blurry.”
Turing examined the photo more closely. “Curious. I have never received a photograph depicting a significant memory.” She looked up at Rainbow Dash. “This gift is something I will value greatly,” she said. “Thank you.”
Rainbow Dash smiled, though she actually started to blush slightly. “Jeez, didn’t think it was a big deal. Open another already!”
“Ooh, ooh, Scootaloo and I made something for you too!” Sweetie Belle cried, rushing forward. She pushed a flat object wrapped haphazardly with far too much tape over to her.
Turing unwrapped it and inside she found a wooden sign with amateurly drawn pictures of Turing Test and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The placard read: “In honor of her rescue in Frostmane Mountains, Touring Test is hereby declared BEST ROBOT PONY by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom’s signatures were at the bottom.
“Apple Bloom helped make it too. Sorry she couldn’t come,” Scootaloo said. “She wanted to come tonight too, but Applejack said she didn’t want her to asso--ow!” That last part came as Sweetie Belle elbowed her. Twilight sighed, but kept quiet.
“You misspelled my name,” Turing remarked.
“Huh? We did?” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “Oh no! We’re sorry, we’ll fix it--” She reached for it, but Turing Test held it higher.
“You misunderstand. I only wanted to correct you should you wish to give me further placards.” She looked down at the pair of fillies. “It is kind of you to show your appreciation and I acknowledge your efforts. Thank you.”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looked up at Rarity and Rainbow Dash who both smiled approvingly.
Next came Twilight’s gift, which was, naturally, a book.
“It’s a copy of the classic book Tom Sawhorse, Turing!” Twilight said. “It’s a fascinating tale of a colt’s adventures--”
Turing opened the book and flipped through it. “Analyzed. Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. It was very interesting.”
Twilight sighed. “Right. I forgot you can do that.”
“OPEN MINE NEXT, TURING!” Bulk Biceps shouted. Turing picked up what looked to be a poorly wrapped dumbbell weight. She unwrapped it to reveal that in fact it was several microfiber cloths tied around a cardboard tube to resemble a dumbbell weight.
“Well, that’s… surprising,” Twilight said.
“They’re microfiber cloths from the spa,” Bulk Biceps explained. “Rarity told me she gave you some metal polish. Use these and you won’t get scratched up!”
“Understood. Thank--”
“YOU’RE GONNA SHINE LIKE A CHAMP!” he shouted excitedly. “YOU’LL BE SO SHINY, EVERYPONY’S GONNA BE ABLE TO SEE THEMSELVES IN YOUR FLANK! YEEAAH!!”
“Thank you, Bulk Biceps,” Turing said, oblivious to everypony wincing and covering their ears. “Whenever I glance at my robodonkadonk, I will think of you.”
“THAT’S A WEIRD COMPLIMENT, BUT THANKS!”
“Well, speaking of looking better,” Rarity said, levitating a small card over to Turing, “this is my gift. Although I apologize for it not being quite ready yet.”
Turing opened the card to read it. “This is a receipt for a jeweler in Manehatten. What did you purchase, Rarity?”
“Well, since our attempts at painting you ended in that fiasco,” Rarity explained, causing Pallette Swap to clutch at his heart dramatically, “I came up with something else to help you improve your look. That jeweler will be making a pair of brooches. They’ll be gold with amethyst stones set in them. You’ll have to visit the shop in Manehatten, of course, but I’ve made arrangements so they can be welded to your body wherever you wish. I personally suggest your forelegs.”
“Oh.” Turing’s eyes momentarily shrank and her ears raised as she stared at Rarity. “Then this will be another chance for me to upgrade myself aesthetically. I will be… beautiful again?”
Rarity smiled. “Well, yes, darling, that is the idea.”
“That is something I greatly desired. Perhaps it will make me more approachable. Thank you, Rarity. I will look forward to receiving this gift.”
Rarity beamed at her proudly. Sweetie Belle hugged her as well and everypony nearby seemed to agree this was the best gift yet.
“Ohhh, I can’t stand it anymore!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, grabbing a pink box and shoving it at her. “Open mine, Rinny!”
Turing opened the box and stared down at the object. Or rather, objects. Inside the box was an assortment of small knick-knacks.
“These objects resemble locations and buildings located in and around Ponyville. Sugar Cube Corner is among them.”
“It sure is! That one is my favorite! Do you know that when I first moved to Ponyville, I saw that it looked so much like cakes and cookies that I tried to eat the building!”
Turing looked over to Twilight at that. “Curious. Twilight Sparkle indicated that nopony would be foolish enough--”
“--to not try and eat such a delicious-looking building!” Twilight said, cutting her off loudly, a strained smile on her face. She stared long at Turing Test, hoping she got the hint. Luckily, she seemed to.
“I know, right!” Pinkie said obliviously. “Anyway, these things aren’t just little keepsakes! They’re extra-strong refrigerator magnets!”
Twilight’s brain began to process this. Turing was just ahead of her.
“That might be problematic, as I do not--”
“Oh don’t worry about not having your own fridge, Rinny! You can just wear them on yourself!” she laughed, and, without another word, stuck the Sugar Cube Corner magnet on Turing’s head.
Turing’s eyes contracted and she staggered back, losing control of her grip on the box. It upended, and launched the various cheerful magnets into the air, sticking to her face and body. The robotic mare’s head began to drift to the side and her footing became unsure and she swayed and stumbled chaotically as if intoxicated.
“Turing!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Huh? Rinny, are you--”
“--as-as-I-dddo-not plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose.” Her eyes began to flicker as she tried to shake the magnets off.
“Oh my gosh, hang on, Turing!” Twilight shouted, rushing forward.
“W-what’s wrong with her?!” Pinkie exclaimed as the other party guests looked on in confusion and horror.
One by one, Twilight began to pry the magnets off Turing. Once the last one was off, she stood up straight, her head moving only slightly.
“Jeez, Tee, are you okay?” Rainbow Dash asked, landing directly in front of her. She held up a hoof when she got no response. “Okay, Tee, how many hooves am I holding up?”
Turing stared at the hoof, her head still wobbling. “Thursday,” she replied.
“Oh my gosh, I broke her!” Pinkie cried, both front hooves flying to the side of her head in panic. “She just wanted to make friends and I broke--”
“Adjusting for memory glitches,” Turing said, her head finally becoming still. “Minor errors detected. Analyzing… errors repaired.” She looked around the room and noticed the looks of shock and concern from everyone else. “There is no need to worry. I was not permanently damaged.”
Turing went over to Pinkie Pie. “These magnets have strength sufficient to cause interference in my neural net.”
Pinkie Pie looked like she was about to cry.
“Turing!” Twilight hissed.
“Ah,” she said, remembering Twilight’s earlier advice. “Thank you for the gift. It was very thoughtful despite nearly giving me brain damage.”
***
“It’s not so bad, Pinkie,” Twilight said, putting her hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. The two were in Pinkie Pie’s room upstairs, seated on her bed, while the party continued on the ground floor.
“I’m suh-supposed to be Ponyville’s superiest d-duperiest party pony and I nearly k-killed your robo~ot!” Pinkie wailed, hugging a pillow so hard the seams were starting to rip. “I j-just asked her if she w-wanted to be friends and she said y-yes and then I gave her a bad present and then I almost killed he~er!”
“Pinkie, it’s not so bad…”
“Yes it is!” she sobbed.
“Oh come on,” Twilight said, offering her a weak smile. “Look, it was nice present for a normal pony. You didn’t know electromagnetic energy damages Turing, so how could you know the effect those magnets would have on her?”
“Bucking magnets, how do they work?!”
“That’s…” She shook her head, ignoring the question. “Anyway, please don’t feel bad. Turing’s fine!”
“E-even if I didn’t mean to, I almost hurt poor Rinny at her own Bot Mitzvah!” She reached for a tissue and blew into it loudly. “I just wanted to make friends and have fun with her and now she probably hates meeee!”
“Pinkie, please don’t cry,” Twilight said softly while giving her a gentle hug. “Listen, I know Turing isn’t very easy to understand. Believe me, I know. But she’s never been angry before and I know she wouldn’t hate you for making a mistake like that. Besides, I think she’s enjoying herself at this party.”
Pinkie sniffled, but managed to smile hopefully. “You really think so?”
“Of course!” Twilight exclaimed, giving a firm nod. “Turing Test likes to interact with other ponies and she really likes to know that she’s appreciated. This party and the nice presents from everypony are just what she needed after... after some drama we had yesterday.”
“Then… then I’m going to make this party the best party she’s ever had!” Pinkie proclaimed, standing up on her bed, holding up one hoof as she looked defiantly at the heavens (or at least her ceiling).
“Well, she’s never had a party before so--”
“Best robot party ever!” Pinkie shouted, cutting Twilight off.
There was a coughing sound and the pair turned to the bedroom door. Spike was standing there, a look of urgency on his face. “Uh, Pinkie, sorry to say this, but we were playing musical chairs and, um…”
“What? Not enough chairs?”
“Well, not anymore,” Spike said, glancing back down the stairs behind him. “Turing is winning, but she’s pretty heavy, so when she sits down--”
The music coming from downstairs stopped and there was a crunch sound and the clattering of wood.
“Chair obliterated. You may now initiate the next round, Sweetie Belle.”
“Yeah,” Spike said. “That keeps happening.”
“Gah! Mr. and Mrs. Cake are going to kill me!” Pinkie screamed, rushing past Spike and down the stairs. “Rinny! Stop being so good at sitting down!”
***
The evening went on with relatively few problems minus Pinkie lamenting paying the Cakes back for several chairs. They tried playing a few more party games, but Turing quickly dominated anything they played. Pin the Tail on the Pony, for example, was pointless since she didn’t get dizzy and didn’t need to see to find the exact right spot to pin the tail, as she perfectly memorized the layout of the room and knew just where to place the tail. She also caught on to darts very quickly, going from missing the dart board completely to being able to throw a bullseye every single time in only two turns.
In the end, they settled on just playing some music and mingling. That held its own pitfalls as Turing Test still had problems communicating or understanding others, but everypony was fairly patient with her. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were especially curious.
“So, what’s it like living with Twilight?” Scootaloo asked. “Us crusaders get to spend some time with her every week, but you’re with her all the time!”
“Correction: it is not all the time. She does require sleep and has activities that do not involve me.”
“Well, sure,” Sweetie Belle said, rolling her eyes. “I mean, everypony needs their sleep.”
“I do not.”
“Huh? You don’t sleep?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I am capable of entering sleep mode to conserve power, but it is not a vital function. Currently, I have been operational without entering sleep mode or powering down for nearly three days.”
“Wow, so you can just stay up all night! That’s awesome!” Scootaloo exclaimed, leaping into the air, her wings buzzing energetically.
“I don’t know,” Sweetie Belle said uncertainly. “I mean, sleep can be nice too. At least you get to dream.” She paused, considering that a moment. “Turing Test, what do you dream about when you go into sleep mode?”
“I do not.”
“Huh? Don’t what?”
“Clarifying: I do not dream.”
The two fillies looked at each other, then back to Turing.
“Wait, you’ve never had a dream? Ever?” Scootaloo asked.
“It is my understanding that a dream is a hallucinatory image produced by the organic mind. It is often nonsensical and at times causes feelings of extreme terror. If that is what you are referring to, then I repeat: I do not dream.”
Sweetie Belle frowned. “That’s kind of sad.”
Turing cocked her head to the side. “I do not understand. Why is it sad?”
“It just is,” Scootaloo said. “Dreams can be pretty awesome.” She looked back at her wings and sighed. “You can do anything you want.”
“Anything… that I want?” She seemed to consider that.
“Rinny!” Pinkie Pie shouted, bounding over to her. “I almost forgot! After the, um… thing with the magnets…” She laughed nervously, but then recovered her energy. “Like I was saying: I forgot about the cake! Come on over!”
Turing dutifully followed Pinkie over to where the cake stood. It was a large, three-tiered cake with gobs of purple and white frosting. Several candles adorned it.
“I wanted to make it silver-colored frosting so it would match your colors, Rinny,” Pinkie explained, “but we didn’t have enough. But anyway, time to blow out the candles! Take a deep breath!”
Turing was quiet as everypony stared at her expectantly.
“Well, come on, Rinny!”
“Pinkie,” Twilight started to say, “Turing is…”
“It is all right, Twilight Sparkle. I will explain.” She turned to Pinkie. “Pinkie Pie, as a robot, I lack lungs and am incapable of exhaling.”
Pinkie Pie gawked. “Wait, you don’t breathe?!”
“I do not. However, I believe I have a solution. Activating P-Mode.” Her wings sprouted and she turned to face away from the cake. “My jets will be more than sufficient to extinguish the flames. Please stand back everypony.”
“Turing, no, you’ll blow the whole cake off the table!” Twilight shouted, rushing forward.
“Ah. I had not considered that. Returning to neutral mode.” The wings retracted as everypony breathed a sigh of relief.
“Uh, Pinkie, you go ahead and do her the honors,” Twilight suggested.
“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie sucked in a deep breath and easily blew out all the candles in one go, earning a short round of applause. She then grabbed a cake slicer and a plate and turned back to Turing. “Which piece would you like Rinny?”
Twilight facehoofed. “Pinkie…”
“I apologize, Pinkie Pie, but I am unable to eat this cake.”
“Oh… because it’s not kosher?”
“You misunderstand. I am a robot, therefore--”
“Oh, oh, of course, I’m such a dummy!” She zipped out of the room and returned with a large can of oil. Before anypony could stop her, she popped it open and dumped the black contents all over the once appetizing cake. All the party guests gave a collective sigh even as Pinkie obliviously offered an oil-drenched slice to Turing. “There you go! Now it’s perfect!”
Turing looked down at the slice. “I believe you have misunderstood my meaning.”
Pinkie frowned, her chipper smile vanishing. “What? What’s wrong now? Too much frosting?”
“Pinkie Pie, I do not eat. I am a machine and lack a digestive system. I do not have a mouth with which I could consume the food.”
“You don’t have a mouth?!” Pinkie cried. “I thought it was under your face-plate thingy!”
“That is incorrect. I vocalize through an auditory speaker which processes my synthetic voice. I have nothing analogous to a mouth.”
“But… if you don’t have a mouth,” she said, working the idea out verbally, “then… then how do you smile?”
Turing Test’s ears twitched. “I do not smile. To clarify, I am incapable of smiling.”
Pinkie’s eyes dilated and she staggered back as if struck, those final three words echoing in her mind.
“I… I’m going to go upstairs and… and just… think about things…” She then turned around and went straight up the stairs, leaving the dead quiet party behind her. Everypony fidgeted nervously for a moment, no one sure what to say or do.
“Mmmaybe we should just call it a night,” Twilight said, putting her hoof on Turing’s shoulder.
“Very well. It is a night.”
The party guests chuckled slightly at that. Turing cocked her head to the side again as they did so. “Strange. Analyzing…”
“What’s that, Turing?” Twilight asked. “Did you say--”
“Hold on,” Rarity said, “did Pinkie Pie completely extinguish those candles before dumping the oil on it? Because if she didn’t--”
The cake burst into flames.
***
Later that night, after the party guests and firefighters had gone home, Pinkie Pie was lying awake in bed.
“She can’t… smile?” she whispered. “That’s horrible!”
Pinkie had met cranky ponies and a Cranky donkey as well as her share of party poopers and sourpusses, but all of them had at least possessed the ability to smile. But Turing Test…
I told her I wanted to be her friend. But I nearly scrambled her brain, I yelled at her for being too heavy, and then I humiliated her in front of everypony by pointing out her disabilities! And then I set her cake, the one she can’t even eat, on fire! I just wanted to make a new friend and make her smile, just like everypony else, but… but…
The tears came before she knew it and this time she was alone, no Twilight or other friends to comfort her. Turing wasn’t what she’d expected, but if several of her friends could bond with her, then she’d figured it would be easy for her to do the same. She realized now how wrong she was.
“I c-can’t just let it end like t-this,” she said to herself through her tears. She breathed in deep, drawing herself up as she wiped away her tears. “No! I’m Pinkie Pie, the best party pony in Ponyville and I know there’s something I can do to help Rinny!”
She looked at all the pictures that adorned her wall, feeling a new wave of inspiration. In so many of them, she saw the special ponies in her life, friends and family alike, their mouths opened wide in the middle of uproarious…
“Laughter.” She breathed the word and her eyes lit up. “Laughter… that’s it!”
***
Back at the castle, Twilight Sparkle finished brushing her teeth and exited the bathroom. She yawned as she moved for her bed.
“Twilight Sparkle--”
“Gah!” Twilight shouted in surprise. She caught her breath as Turing stood waiting. “Darn it, Turing, you scared the dickens out of me!”
Turing began looking around the room.
“Turing… what are you doing?” she asked narrowing her tired eyes, afraid to hear the answer.
“I am looking for your dickens so we may insert them back into you.”
“Oh Sweet Celestia…” she groaned. “Look, never mind that, what did you want?” Twilight said as she made her way to the bed, tossing back the covers.
“Twilight Sparkle, I have noticed that ponies often laugh at things.”
She nodded. “That’s true.”
“For example, you and Gadget seemed very amused last night when I attempted hyperbole and stated that my--”
“No, no, don’t say it again!” Twilight said, holding a hoof up to silence her, already trying to stifle a laugh. “I remember.”
“The point I am attempting to explain is that I often see ponies laugh together. Occasionally, this occurs as the result of something I say.”
“Oh,” Twilight said. “Well, Turing, I don’t think anypony means anything cruel by it.”
“That was not my assumption.”
She smiled. “Well, that’s a relief. But yes, Turing, I guess sometimes you do say things that are kind of funny.”
“Understood. However, I do not understand the reasoning. In short, I do not understand why such things are funny. Indeed, I have no concept of what is or is not amusing. Every time I have seen an organic pony laugh, I have failed to understand why or feel any such amusement myself.”
Twilight frowned. “And that bothers you. I see.”
“Affirmative. The emotion I felt last night remains unidentified, but I can confirm that it was a positive experience. I believe that by experiencing more positive emotions, I may be able to properly identify it and achieve a greater degree of understanding of emotional states. Furthermore, it seems that a great obstacle to making friends and having other ponies enjoy my company is my lack of a ‘sense of humor.’
“It seems that I am able to befriend others in a limited capacity. However, if I am to not only be a friend, but a good friend, then I must be able to understand others and participate in social interaction as an equal. I want to know what is humorous to others so that I may better achieve this.”
“So… well, I suppose you’re right, Turing,” Twilight said, rubbing her chin. “Hmm. I’m not sure what to do about that, though. Humor is… complicated, honestly. I don’t think I could tell you what is or isn’t funny.”
Then she smiled. “But I think I know somepony who could!”
***
The next morning, Pinkie Pie, bouncing and humming a happy tune, went right up to the castle door. “Knock knock!” she said as she knocked on the door.
The door opened and Spike stepped out. He smiled when he saw her. “Oh, Pinkie, I’m glad you’re here!”
“Me too!” she said. “Then again, I’m always glad I’m wherever I am! It’s like my Granny Pie always said: ‘Wherever you go, there you are! Unless you exist in a quantum superposition where you both are and aren’t there, a state that will remain until an outside observer witnesses you and collapses you into one condition or the other!’ Tee hee!”
Spike blinked. “I… what?”
“I’m here to see Turing!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Oh, right, that’s what I was going to say!” Spike said, showing her inside. “Turing was about to come find you too.”
Turing Test was coming down the hall and her ears perked up upon seeing Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie Pie. I am glad that you are here.”
“Rinny!” She rushed forward and stopped in front of her, hopping up and down with sheer excitement. “I wanted to tell you that I had an idea to make up for the present I gave you last night!”
“The present was adequate. The magnets now adorn Twilight Sparkle’s refrigerator. Furthermore, I must thank you for the party. The chance for social interaction was invaluable. I received a great amount of input which…” She stopped, noticing Pinkie scrunching her face and furrowing her brow. “It was a nice party.”
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “That’s great!”
“Still, your offer is appreciated. I also have a request of you, if you are willing to listen.”
“Ooh, ooh, let me guess… you want me to replace the chairs you broke in Sugar Cube Corner with industrial strength metal chairs that won’t break under your massive weight!”
“Incorrect.” She paused. “You referred to my mass as being greater than average. Does convention not dictate that I be insulted?”
“Uhh, no!” she said quickly. “You’re not chunky, you’re just built that way!” She shook her head, trying to focus. “But anyway, I’ll tell you my present and you can tell me what you want. Maybe it’s the same thing!”
“Understood.”
“Well then, my gift is… laughter!”
Turing said nothing.
“Well, what I mean is, see, I went to bed last night, but I couldn’t concentrate because I felt sooo bad about your party! The magnets, the chairs, the food--”
“The food?”
“The food was on fire!” She gripped Turing by the shoulders. “But don’t you worry, Rinny! You may not be able to smile, but I can give you something as good, if not better… I’m going to make you laugh!”
“That is an admirable goal,” Turing said. “Perhaps it will be achieved through my request.”
“Oh?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Your goal is to make me laugh. However, this may be difficult, as I do not understand what constitutes something funny from something that is not. If you are willing, I request that you teach me to be humorous. I wish to learn how to make others laugh.”
Pinkie Pie’s eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” she shouted, leaping into the air. “This is gonna be great! In fact, I know just how to start! I’ll teach you a joke!”
“A joke? Very well. Please proceed.”
“Okay, here goes!” She cleared her throat. “Did you hear about pony with laryngitis?”
“That is unfortunate. Is it a pony either of us know personally?”
“Huh? No, Rinny, this is the joke.”
“The health of somepony has deteriorated. I do not see how that is amusing.”
“No, no, it’s not real, it’s just… um, it’s an imaginary situation to start the joke.”
“Then how would it be possible for me to have heard about her?”
“Turing... just say ‘no’ after the question. Okay?” Pinkie Pie said, rolling her eyes.
“No.”
“No?”
“You requested that I say ‘no’ after the question. You then asked if that was okay.”
“Okay, just don’t say anything!” she snapped. She took a calming breath. “Er, sorry. Anyway, here’s the joke: Did you hear about the pony with laryngitis? She’s a little hoarse! Hee hee!”
Turing was silent.
“Well, what do you think? Anything? Do you get it?”
Turing still said nothing.
“You can talk again now, Rinny,” she sighed.
“Understood. And I do understand the meaning of your joke, though I do not understand why that joke is amusing. All ponies are, by definition, little horses.”
“Yeah, but it’s… that’s the double meaning. Like, ‘hoarse,’ as in ‘can’t talk very well.’”
“I am also familiar with that term. Was that the meaning you intended instead?”
“No, I… I meant both! That’s the joke!”
“That seems reasonable, as a pony is a small horse and the laryngitis would also make her voice harsh. Is the state of speech impairment itself funny?”
Pinkie’s eye twitched. “Ohhh boy. This is gonna be tough.”
“I am not a boy. But I concur with your assessment. Especially since Spike the Dragon seems to have found your joke extremely funny.”
Spike, who’d been watching this exchange, was indeed laughing heartily, though not at Pinkie’s joke. He got himself under control. He pat Pinkie on the shoulder. “Good luck, Pinkie Pie. You’re gonna need it.”
***
Spike walked into the study. Twilight was pacing back and forth, occasionally stopping to stare at the letter on the desk.
“Twilight?” Spike asked. “Turing left with Pinkie. She’s going to learn humor from her, just like you suggested.”
“That’s great,” Twilight said, raising her head to smile. Then her smile melted away and she glanced back at the letter. “I hope she has good luck. And I hope I do too…”
Spike nodded and he came over, hugging her leg. “I’m worried, Twilight.”
Twilight sighed. “Me too, Spike. But we both knew this was coming.”
They stared down at the letter. It was short and right to the point:
Dear Twilight,
I received your report yesterday. I need to talk to you about your automaton in person. I consider this an urgent matter. Please come to Canterlot this afternoon if you are at all able.
Sincerely yours,
Celestia
The two looked back at each other, their expressions mirroring each other’s worry. They knew this would be no laughing matter.
To be continued...
And that's 15 chapters (not counting the crackfic chapter before this)! Thanks to everyone who has helped this fic slowly gain some popularity. Extra special thanks go to ArtichokeLust who provided some technical information and was kind enough to teach me a bit about Faraday cages. I hereby grant you title of "Technical Consultant!" If anyone else cares to hit me with some technical knowledge, leave me a comment or a PM; I love learning more about this kind of stuff! 
Those of you playing "spot that reference" can find the answers below (and this one has a lot!):
-The title is, of course, a play on the season one song Pinkie sings, "Giggle at the Ghosties," paired with the commonly known phrase "ghost in the machine," often referenced in sci-fi. A variation was itself used in part for the ground-breaking manga and anime "Ghost in the Shell." When I first saw the original 1995 film as a teenager, it was one of the most mind-blowing things I'd ever seen and it fueled my interest in sci-fi and cyberpunk.
-The joke "Bot Mitzvah" is from Futurama. "Shalom hunger, shalom free food!"
-Twilight's gift, "Tom Sawhorse" is a ponified version of "Tom Sawyer" of course.
-The magnet scene: Getting one's mind messed up by magnets is another nod to "Futurama," but it's grounded in reality; the gibberish Turing spouts are lyrics to the song "Loser" by Beck.
-Turing's response "Thursday" is a reference to the cartoon "Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot" (episode 3).
-"Bucking magnets, how do they work?" is a reference to the worst song/meme ever.
-Granny Pie's old fashioned wisdom references the quantum physics thought experiment "Schrodinger's Cat."
-"The food was on fire!" is parodying the song "Fire Water Burn" by The Bloodhound Gang.
Thank you again for reading. I'm really touched by how many have expressed their enjoyment of my work. See you next chapter!
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I'm trying to determine which was funnier: Introspective Gummy from the 100th Episode or Turning's "nuts".
This is hard.
Thanks for another great chapter!
Very good chapter! And Pinkie Pie met her match!
Turing definitely will drive Pinkie crazy the same way that Pinkie drives other ponies crazy!
Specially since Pinkie will need to try explain why something is funny (Her attempt to tell a joke to Turing reminds an situation described in Asimov's essay "Sense of Humor" found in his book "Robot Visions").
And the theme of dreams appears - so the stage for Luna is being set...
For other side, Celestia's letter is very ominious.... I really hope that Twilight keeps her cool and defends Turing well enough to Celestia give her more time.
Maybe a certain former special agent pony is sending reports to Celestia too?
And apparentlly Applejack still distrustful of Turing.... I hope that it isn't necessary that Applebloom falls in a "Asimov's Robbie" scenario for her to change her mind...
It would be interesting if Turing managed to befriend some of the background ponies before she manage to befriend Fluttershy and/or Applejack.
Every time Turing Test says "Affirmative" I keep hearing K9's voice.
olddoctorwho.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/k9-classic-doctor-who.jpg
I helped!
6089682 because he's a Minotaur, half man, half bull
6089812
lol fuck yeah! So fucking true!
Deez nuts! Hah, got eem
I can already see the slapstic. Turing makes the best straight-mare.
You know something, could this be revenge by Twilight Sparkle over the events of "Feeling Pinkie Keen"?
Hmmm, can Twilight make a display 'mouth' for Turing so she can use simple characters ala emoticons to express things???
Robodonkadonk returns! Keep working it in, I love the word and it always makes me laugh. Turing's comments on her nuts also makes me laugh. I'm very glad Pinkie is so eager to help Turing, it's a nice change from the other Mane 6's attitudes. Oh, and once Turning learns enough, I suggest she overhears a mean comment from DT at the Crusaders and stands up for them, especially if they keep making her momentos. Also, can Turing tell if a Changeling in disguise is not a pony??? Because if one is living peacefully in Ponyville I think they could bond over being different and the Changeling might be helpful in identifying emotions. I also hope Luna and Turing meet in the Dream world, it would help if Luna was on Turing's side. After all, we do have the expression: Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep? and with magic involved it's possible.
6089772 I agree with the background pony idea.
6090806 Hmmm, maybe... If so I suggest she sends Shining Armor a note about a fake wedding to the stallion of her dreams as payback for not telling her he was going to marry Cadence.
... That sounds so wrong.
Anyway! The start of the arc I've been looking forward to~
This is excellent, we have a Pinkie who is struggling to become friends with Turing just as much as Turing is struggling as well, this is why i love the Mane 6 in this situation, they have such varying personalities and thoughts that they are the perfect testing ground for Turing to become friends with them, from Rarity's high class behavior to Rainbow's rambunctious attitude, to Twilight's logical process and output, to Applejack's stubborn streak and skeptic thinking, and finally Fluttershy's gentle nature, to Pinkie's energetic and fun filled enthusiasm.
Here we have the situation established, Pinkie being who she is won't try to avoid Turing, that isn't her nature, she is trying really hard to like Turing and be her friend, however... she is falling into the same trap Twilight was, she is trying to see Turing as a pony, not a robot.
Pinkie can't be blamed here of course, she has a very short attention span and usually sticks with parties and celebrations since, well, they haven't really failed that much, Cranky Doodle Donkey is the other example here.
I love the idea of Pinkie teaching humor to Turing, it is going to be pretty excellent~ I can already see her trying to explain pranks now, and that joke explanation picked throughout was awesome.
Also, HORSES EXIST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
I look forward to this arc, and hope to see classic Pinkie for what she is, also, awesome conundrum, how to make a pony smile when they don't have a mouth?
Also, magnets, my only weakness...
...
I swear, they need that Faraday Cage, that is the lamest weakness ever, I'm factoring 'glowing green space rock' into this, right next to 'the color yellow'
I just got to know, what is Luna's view in all of this. we've seen Celestia's but what about her sisters? also we need a luna face for the comments because I can't find one.
6091990 Gotta say: having my readers eagerly awaiting my next chapter is a great feeling.
Generally I try to update around once a "calendar week," as I like to think of it. What that means is that I usually try to do one chapter every 7 to 14 days. As you can see, I've kept that up pretty well, but that's a pretty tough pace. And this week in particular I have a lot of work, so I don't want to make promises I can't keep. But yeah, 7-14 days is a good estimate. My biggest goal here is not to drop the schedule and let the thing go on hiatus. I used to do that in my earlier days of writing online fanfiction and I don't want to do that to my readers again. Schedule slip sucks hard and I will do my best to avoid it.
6091788 I agree: we need a Luna emote. And without giving too much away, I will say that Luna will play a role in this story. You'll see what her take on Turing Test is later on.
Re-reading the story, Applejack commented that there is more to emotions than imitation. If we assume that Turing's "brain" is composed of memristors (an technology that is being developed to put memory and data processing in the same device, like an neuron) and she is adapting some of them as "mirror neurons" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron), then imitating could be the very way that she could develop emotions.
Checking the simulation theory of empathy (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulation_theory_of_empathy) so could be a way around Applejack's argument.
Also, I'm surprised that, beyond Gadget and Mr.Vanderbull, no enginner or researcher in the area did enter in contact with Twilight to discuss about Turing. Such big news in their field - an advanced robot able to think for itself - and no one that could help Twilight enter in contact with her?
6093680 Glad you seem to be enjoying the story and thanks for the comments as you're going through it.
To answer your earlier inquiry, Celestia (at least in this story and my persona head-canon) is a head of state alongside Luna. She makes decisions and proclamations. She is a ruler. Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, a position that carries weight, but she is not tasked with any political duties, and therefore given fairly little political power. However, she does get certain rights and her voice carries weight. And if it has to do with Friendship, that is her domain and not Celestia's.
I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
6093332 Actually, they did! Remember when Twilight got that huge stack of letters and telegrams? A lot of them were junk, but some of them were genuine inquiries from different experts.
However, keep in mind that Equestria's has only a handful of true engineering experts. Talon Turing, Mr. Vanderbull and Gadget, and Umahara are among them and thus far the only ones named. As for others, they are around, but they just haven't come into play yet.
6091668 What an adorable profile picture! (
Derpy and Doctor Whooves)
Anyway, sorry for the loss on that bet. But don't worry, you may just get a chance to place another wager later in the story.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I hope to hear your thoughts and comments later!
6089664 Glad you liked it, Ford! I was afraid you'd lost interest during the more serious chapters. I'm happy you stuck around!
6090274 6090251 6089553
I just knew when I wrote that "nuts" joke that it would be the joke everyone would laugh at. Hooboy, I am so immature.
6093828
I would be nice to see them later in the story (and maybe a neurologist and a psychologist). In meanwhile, maybe Twilight could get a help from Time Turner?
I stand corrected then
And in the beginning you mentioned both "Frankenstallion" and "I, Automaton". I wonder if "I, Automaton"'s author did call the fear of mechanical ponies and automatons as Frankenstallion's Complex, the pony version of Frankenstein's Complex.
And considerating that Frankenstein was more an story of "when you create something, you must be responsable for it" rather than "there was things that must not be known", I assume that the pony version is the same - so Twilight could argue that the best way to prevent Turing to become a danger is by helping to raise her....
6089812 You don't say? That would certainly come into play should Turing ever meet a certain quirky, time-obsessed stallion. Hm hm hm...
6093912 Gadget needs to introduce Ponyville to Pocky. I'm fairly sure they'd love the stuff as much as humans do.
6097144 I am unsure if one princess holds power over another, speaking purely of political sway, and in any case, since twilight is the princess of her own kingdom, the kingdom in which Rinny is a citizen of, i don't think celestia can pull rank on her without inciting war, or at least a political incident. That may depend on a lot of technicalities, but technicalities are kinda twilights thing. If the argument is made that Rinny is not a pony, and therefore unable to be citizen of equestria, i'm sure twilight would be able to convince ponies otherwise visa vi that one star trek episode, you know the one. Also i'm 90% sure twilight could kick celestias flank.
6097221 I don't think that Twilight at this point need to kick Celestia's flank. What she need is convince Celestia that there is evidence that Turing can have emotions and that she is developing a self-aware mind (the fact that she is grateful for her own name, that she choose "robot" over "automaton" as her "species" name, that she could feel positive feelings towards situations, that she could feel denial - all that indicate at alst the possibility of a sense of self), enough to make Celestia think that the possibility that Turing is a being rather than a mindless machine.
Also, Twilight need to point that nothing that Turing did was malicious, so she isn't necessarily a threat to other ponies.
With that, Twilight would get the time that she needs to help Turing to develop her mental and emotional responses to the point that Celestia will consider Turing an self-aware being and therefore, she could not be disassembled.
Also, as Celestia's main reason for her technophobia is the societal effects of such technology - which, we have to be honest, they are not unfounded - see:
I think that in the end this is the point that needed to be addressed by Turing's defenders: If Twilight manage to claim that machines similar to Turing could help rather than replace ponies, it will be a point to turn Celestia more open towards it.
Just because Twilight and Celestia have opposite point of view at the moment, it didn't mean that they need to be antagonistic towards each other.
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But i want her too
This is what celestia fears is it not? Robots replacing ponies in every facet of life?
That might make her even more fearful, not only will the thing kill you, but it will think about how it will kill you.
Paranoia doesn't tend to be accept passive evidence.
I think she thinks in more long term than that, being so old and what not, and while in the short term, relatively speaking in terms of alicorn time, it might seem like a positive, Celestia would most likely be more inclined to will smiths thinking in I Robot.
But you know they will, i mean there are several points setting up a future conflict thus far.
The problem Celestia has with turing specifically i think IS the fact that Turing displays sentient thoughts, with something without intelligence, say a train for example, you will always have that option to simply turn it off. However with something that does not wish to be turned off, several complications might occur.
I'm secretly hoping Turing will go A-Mode and do some serious damage to some baddie.
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Wow, a lot of interesting comments and thoughts on the story right now! It's great to see, as I really wanted the story to explore some issues and spur some discussion. Actually, JFalk, I have seen that video and considered making a blog post to discuss it and its implications, but I decided to keep my personal feelings out of it. I'd rather let the story stand on its own and have people make up their own minds. And Soft Shell, you bring up some equally good points, especially with regard to Celestia. I hope you'll both be interested to see where the story goes with this ongoing conflict. For now, no spoilers.
Anyway, I hate to interrupt a good debate, but I just wanted to say how pleased I am with the thoughtfulness and intelligence of the commentary going on so far. Carry on!
6089975 Ah there's Listie bringing the awesome tunes. That Terminator cover is badass. And some "Sonic Heroes" OST? Yes please.
Though for the record, I was listening to a lot of different music when I wrote the chapter, but this was among them. Or there's also this version of it.
Feel free to take your time reading. I'm a fairly slow reader myself, actually, so I understand going at one's own pace. Though, if you want to stay up this tale, you could always track the story or just add me to your watch list. That's your call, though.
Anyway, thanks for the kind words as usual. Getting Featured is awesome, even if it's not exactly an exclusive club, and it has brought in more readers by making the story more noticeable. Hopefully that will continue to be the case and I get to read more awesome comments from more awesome readers. Yourself included.
6102806 Yeah, Gadget is the pony version of a character I use in my other work and, of course, the human version of her is a total otaku. In this universe, she enjoys comics and film serials and such, among other geeky pursuits.
By the way, judging by your name, I think you'll enjoy a certain joke in the next chapter.
6111739 Thought I'd just reply to this comment. You're on the right track, but focusing on the wrong word, if that makes sense.
"Robodonkadonk" is a dumb joke I made that everyone thought was hilarious, so now it's a running gag. Admittedly, it still makes me chuckle too, as dorky as laughing at your own joke is.
But Turing uses it because she has no concept of it being funny. She doesn't really DO funny (as the current arc I'm working on explores). She thinks it is as acceptable a term as "flank" or "posterior."
The better example of her preferences is in the word "robot." Initially, everypony calls her an "automaton." She is aware of what the word means, but when Button Mash shows her a comic displaying mechanical ponies that move and act independently, she finds more in common with them than with her limited progenitors that could only perform limited tasks or required an operator. While she isn't insulted by the term "automaton," she finds the term inaccurate and expresses preference for the term "robot" as a more accurate description of what she is. So, like I said, you're on the right track.
On the subject of Turing and dreams.... this article could be very useful
http://gizmodo.com/these-are-the-incredible-day-dreams-of-artificial-neura-1712226908
And the original report:
http://googleresearch.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/inceptionism-going-deeper-into-neural.html
“Ah,” she said, remembering Twilight’s earlier advice. “Thank you for the gift. It was very thoughtful despite nearly giving me brain damage.”
that´s sound like there would exist "big" horses too. Maybe i give it to much meaning.
I give a thumb up, i think it is overdue for me to do so, this i proably going to be one of my favourites.
You mean she.
There should be "eyes," in between "her" and "tired" or "eyes" after "tired".
Great chapter by the way!
6199129 Oh dear, I don't know how I missed those mistakes! Thank you for pointing them out! That's pretty embarrassing.
Fixed!
Pinkie Pie is a quantum anomaly! It all makes perfect sense now!
Jesus fucking Christ, my sides.
6091027 the first part of your comment reminds me of Zer0:
img09.deviantart.net/84fd/i/2012/275/9/0/_d__by_5kepsys-d5gn7xr.png
The title reminded me... there is (naturally) a relevant XKCD
You just earned my like because of the jokes added in.
https://youtu.be/DLIU5tC3LAs
I am reminded of this scene from ST:TNG.
It would be only fitting,if Discord and Pinkie helped Turing to understand laughter.
Got damn it.
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Awww yissss.
Error:FiMfiction.net does not support "liking" individual chapters. Please rectify.
Pinkie blew out the candles but cake caught fire anyway...
this makes at least three chapters in which turing has done bender-esque things. since im also a fan of futurama, i approve lol
7546915 True, but...
If the candles were still smoldering, then dumping oil on them might not have been wise.
This was so well done it took me a moment to realise what turing was saying too. Well played.
This line made my night
I... Legitimately got teary eyed.
Moments like this are why I was so excited for Pinkie pies arc
And again, Had me teary eyed. So far you do pinkie very well.
I suspect that at one point Granny pie used to live in a box, and may or may not have been a cat until said box was opened.
You can hear the sound of glass shattering at this instance. HOORAY FOR MISSINTERPRETATION!!!