Fine Print was scribbling more notes down after developing the day’s pictures in the bathroom. It was late and nearly time for bed for most ponies. For him, he would not sleep until he was certain the last light in the castle was out.
He was jolted out of these thoughts by a knock on the door. At first he thought it might have been the hotel manager or the maid or the bellhop, so he called out, “I’m busy, please come back later.”
“Oh, I-I’m sorry.” His ears perked up when he recognized the voice.
He rushed over and opened the door a crack, enough to stick his head out but without her being able to look inside. “Gadget! I’m sorry, I thought you were one of the hotel staff!”
The young mare was in the hallway and had turned from the door, but she wheeled back around excitedly. “Fine Print! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“No, no, it’s nothing, I have a little time. I…” It was then that he noticed her eyes. “Gadget? Are you okay? Your eyes are red! Have you been crying?”
She turned away. “No. I mean, just a little. S-sorry, it’s nothing important. Please don’t worry.”
“Are you sure? I mean, if you’d like to talk about it…”
She managed a weak smile and said, “No, thank you. Please don’t worry about it; I didn’t come here to bother you. I just came by to ask where you wanted to meet for lunch.”
“Oh. Um, well, if you say so.” He considered the question a moment. “Well, there’s a nice cafe near the Quills and Sofa store. It’s called Dazy Daisy. Would you like to go there?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Dazy Daisy?”
“Please, give me your answer. Do you have another place in mind?”
“No, no, it’s just a funny name.” She looked up at him and smiled warmly. “I love you.”
“Wh-what?!” he stammered, eyes going wide.
She raised an eyebrow. “I said, ‘I’d love to.’ What did you think I said?”
“Oh, that’s… n-nevermind.” He swallowed. “Sorry, I guess I’ve been working too hard. I’m half crazy right now.” His face turned red and his cheeks burned. “Noon, then?”
She noticed his blush and practically melted into her hooves. “Yes, noon! Well, I’m, um, looking forward to our da--lunch! I’m lunch! Looking forward to it! The lunch!”
“Yep, yep, sounds good! Tomorrow then!”
She nodded and scrambled back to her room and he quickly shut his own door. He then slumped to the floor, burying his face in his own hooves in embarrassment. “Argh, what is wrong with me!” he groaned. He took a deep breath and slowly his pulse returned to normal.
But then a thought occurred to him: She knows Twilight and therefore knows the automaton. She could get me in. She could get me closer! He nodded to himself and he smiled excitedly.
Then the image of her smiling up at him as she played with her mane nervously made him stop.
No. She’s a sweet girl. I don’t need to resort to that…
He yawned and moved to his desk to finish his work. Tomorrow. I’ll consider it tomorrow. I have to concentrate now. I’ll get some rest and then… well, we’ll just see…
***
Twilight’s eyes popped open and she sat up in bed, her heart thundering and her body drenched with sweat. Panting and shivering, she let her eyes dart around the room. She saw the white gleam of the moon and the glittering of the stars through her window. The memory of the horror she’d witnessed began to fade.
She touched her neck, barely conscious of the gesture. Then she realized what she’d done and shuddered.
She got out of bed and quietly made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She considered making some chamomile to calm her nerves.
The faint glint of violet out of the corner of her eye made her jump as she neared the door.
Her horn glowed with magic as she reared back, ready to defend herself. But then she saw that the violet she’d seen was only the muddled reflection of her own body in the castle’s crystalline wall.
“Eyes…” she muttered to herself. She blinked several times. In the castle, the shadows ran deep and every tiny nocturnal sound echoed weirdly in the sepulchral halls and archways.
She opened her wings and flew down the hallway to the entrance. She tensed up as she passed a door. She saw the dim purple glow shining behind it and realized that its sole occupant was still in there.
She hurried out the door and circled around to land nearby the shore of the lake behind the castle.
Slowly, as the sounds of crickets and frogs filled the air, she caught her breath.
“I’m safe,” she breathed. “It wasn’t real…”
Then she heard light hoofsteps and whirled around to see another figure coming through the mist.
“Who’s there?!” she demanded.
The pony slowed her pace and peered at her in the darkness. “Twilight? It’s me, Gadget.”
Twilight saw that it was indeed her. The girl stepped forward gingerly.
“I… I couldn’t sleep. I just went out for a walk and came by the castle when I saw you.”
Twilight nodded but her gaze was unfocused and she wobbled as she sat. “Right. Okay.”
Gadget shivered. “It’s freezing out. My glasses fogged up when I came outside.” She waited for Twilight to say something, but there was no response. Finally she leaned forward and asked “Um… can I sit with you?”
Twilight blinked. “Yes? I mean… yes. Sorry, I just… I’m not sure I’m quite awake.” She sat down on the shore of the lake and patted the ground next to her. Gadget came closer and sat down beside Twilight.
The two stared out at the lake, its still, glassy surface reflecting the bright full moon overhead.
“It’s beautiful,” Twilight said. “Don’t you think?”
Gadget nodded.
They continued staring out at the lake, neither one saying anything as they watched the moon gradually drop lower and lower.
“I couldn’t sleep either,” Twilight said.
Gadget gave a mirthless chuckle. “Yeah. It’s not really surprising, is it?”
Twilight lowered her head. “I guess not.” And then she said, “Turing attacked me.”
“What?!” Gadget cried, her voice echoing out over the lake.
“In my dream!” Twilight exclaimed. “It was… I remembered what Applejack told me. I had a dream that Turing Test was with me. I turned around for a second and then she… she…”
Gadget made a face. “Turing would never hurt you, Twilight.”
“Part of me knows that, but I just can’t shake that feeling. I just don’t know.”
The two settled back into silence.
“I had a dream too,” Gadget said quietly. “In mine, I saw her… I saw some ponies take her and they… they threw her into a vat of molten metal. They just… they just melted her down like she was junk and she didn’t even make a s-sound--”
“Gadget?” Twilight turned and saw that the younger mare was weeping. The tears came in little rivulets and streaked down her cheeks and she hadn’t even bothered to remove her glasses as they came.
“Oh. Oh Gadget, oh no, please don’t cry.” She went to her and gently put her arm around her. “I’m sorry I just… I know this is hard for you...”
“Yes, but,” Gadget said between sniffles, “I know that this isn’t easy for you either. I know you care, I believe you when you say that. But Turing is… I j-just don’t want,” she swallowed, “I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
Twilight nodded. “I know. I don’t either. I still don’t know what to say to Celestia’s letter, but I honestly don’t think I could let anything happen to Turing.”
“But yesterday, you said--”
“I know, I know!” she exclaimed, looking on the verge of tears herself as she sucked in a deep breath. “But honestly I don’t know what I should do! I can’t just ignore what Turing said to me and I have to accept that maybe Applejack is right… and I’ve never said no to Princess Celestia before either, so if she demanded that I give Turing over to her, then… I j-just don’t know what to do.” She sagged, the fight draining out of her.
“Twilight, I--”
“I’m failing her,” Twilight said.
“What? Who, Celestia?”
“No, not Celestia. Turing.” She shut her eyes tightly, hating the truth of what she was saying. “I’m failing Turing. I’m the one who said I’d teach Turing Test to make friends and now I don’t know what to do that would be best for her. I can’t stand the idea of her being harmed but I can’t get over my doubts and I can’t disobey Celestia and I just can’t do this anymore!” she exploded.
Gadget shot to her hooves. “Yes you can!” she cried. “You’re one of the most courageous ponies in Equestria and right now Turing Test needs you! Please, Twilight, don’t give up on her now!”
Twilight blinked. She remembered Turing making a similar request not so long ago and the earnestness of that request gave her strength. Just like that, the doubt that gnawed at her diminished.
“You’re right,” she said to Gadget. “I can do this. I can’t just give up now. I know there has to be an answer; I just have to find it.”
Gadget smiled. “You mean--”
“I just mean I need to face this problem head on instead of avoiding it. But I’m going to need an expert’s help.” She pointed at Gadget. “Nopony I know is a greater expert on machines than you! Maybe we each need to think about this problem from a different angle, and then we can figure out what would really be best for Turing. What do you say?”
Gadget stood up straight. “I say ‘I’m at your service, Your Highness!’”
***
“Spike?”
In his room, Spike was rubbing his eyes after a somewhat fitful night’s sleep. He sat up and went to the door, opening it to see Twilight standing there.
“Spike, I’m glad you’re awake.”
The little dragon yawned. “Barely. What’s up, Twilight?”
Without warning, she drew him in close, hugging him. “First and foremost, I need to apologize. I’ll explain everything to you. But after a quick breakfast, I’ll need your help. I’ll need to look through the library and find every book I can on psychology. Theory and practice!”
Spike wasn’t sure what was going on, but he smiled anyway. “Sure, of course. And you promise to tell me everything that’s going on with you and Turing Test?”
“Yes. I promise.” She nuzzled him. “I’m going to figure this out with you and Gadget’s help!”
***
Gadget ran down the street and finally spotted what she was looking for. The sign over the door said “Ponyville Lending Library.”
“Perfect!” she exclaimed, and walked in the door. “Hello?” she called loudly.
“Shh, this is a library!” hissed the librarian - a surprisingly young-looking earth pony mare with a red coat and a long, light-brown mane - as she trotted out from behind a bookshelf. “You don’t want to text my patience.”
“Oh, right,” Gadget whispered, walking over to her. “Do you have a science section?”
“We sure do. I just reshelved some books on the elements. The authors bring a lot to the table, periodically.”
“That’s great,” she said excitedly, “but I’m looking for something by Dr. Talon Turing.”
“Oh, the computer scientist! Of course! I hear he’s on good terms with other scientists, even if he’s not a pony. I guess science involves a lot of griffon take.”
“Great, I need to see something by him!”
“I’ll show you. The decimal system can be complex, but most libraries recommend using it. And Dewey ever!”
Gadget saw her looking at her expectantly, though she had no idea why. “Um, okay. Yes, let’s see them.”
“It’s on a high shelf,” the librarian said with a sigh, turning back to grin at her as she led her. “With your mechanical limbs, you should be able to reach it without stretching too far, though. It’s a good thing too; I’d hate to see you do arm to yourself.”
Gadget was barely listening. Okay, there has to be something in here, something scientific that will convince Twilight that the situation with Turing Test is not hopeless! With some luck, maybe her namesake can help me save her!
***
Fine Print stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hair was neat, he had on a nice shirt and tie, and a new pair of dress slacks. He checked his teeth. Overall, in his estimation, he looked pretty good. Definitely nice enough for a lunch date.
“Not bad, not bad,” he said.
And yet he still felt like the worst pony to walk the earth.
She’s sweet. She’s nice. She’s smart. And goodness knows why, she likes you back. And you’re going to take advantage of her?
He closed his eyes, trying not to think about it.
It’s not selfishness, he told himself. This is for a reason. This is for the future.
He turned, pocketing his notebook and picking up the carnation he’d bought from the local florist. Taking a breath, he exited his room and headed off to his lunch date. He had plenty of time, but he wasn’t about to be late.
***
“No, this is no good either!”
Twilight pored over another book on the subject. Psychology could be fascinating, but somehow she felt like she was missing something. Talking about the minds of ponies was difficult, but finding something that applied to robot ponies was something that had never been done. She tried to find something related to child psychology - taking Rarity and Gadget’s opinion that Turing was herself like a child into consideration - and Spike had managed to find one or two books that mentioned the subject, though it wasn’t very much.
“Any luck, Twilight?” Spike asked.
“Not really,” she replied. She snapped the book shut. “All of this talks about coping with emotions or lack of maturity and neither one applies exactly to Turing. She’s just… ugh, I wish there was somepony else to talk to about this!”
Spike blinked. “Um, Twilight… there is. There’s Rarity or Rainbow Dash, for example.”
She shook her head. “I feel bad about burdening you, Spike. I don’t want to make things worse by dragging more of my friends into this problem.”
“You don’t have to tell them everything if you don’t want to. But they’re your friends and Turing’s friends too. Maybe one of them has thought of something you haven’t?”
She paused a moment, then smiled. “Maybe you’re right. Just because I’ve spent the most time with Turing doesn’t mean I know everything about her.” She stood up, grinning broadly. “Rainbow Dash! I haven’t talked to her about this yet!”
Running out as fast as she could, she made her way to the balcony, Spike following behind.
“Spike, I’ll be back later! I need to find Rainbow Dash!” she shouted and took off to find her pegasus friend.
“Good luck!” he called after her. After a few moments, he sighed and went back to his duties. Twilight had told him to send a response to Princess Celestia saying how she was occupied with other things and that she’d reply when she had a free moment, and he’d done so, but that would only buy them a little extra time until they had to send a proper response.
What weighed more heavily on his mind, though, was what Twilight had told him about Turing.
What does that mean? he asked himself. Twilight says she can’t feel affection, but that’s… that can’t be right! I was really starting to like her. And she can’t like anypony back? I don’t get it…
He was just an assistant. Just Twilight’s helper. Just a baby dragon. Maybe he didn’t understand everything, but what he did understand was that he liked Turing Test even if she didn’t - or couldn’t - feel the same way, and he’d felt bad about leaving her in that room alone.
He drew himself up and marched out of the library, down the stairs, into the hall, and right to her room. He knocked on the door.
“You may enter, Spike the Dragon,” came Turing’s distinctive electronic voice.
Spike entered. “How did you know it was me?”
“I heard the sound of your feet. Every individual pony has a distinctive sound as their hooves hit the ground. Naturally, your claws also have their own unique sound.”
She was just sitting there, staring into the mirror. She’d been in this tiny room for almost 24 hours. He couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her.
“Your expression, Spike the Dragon; are you perhaps upset?”
“No. I’m just… I guess I’m a little sad.” He came over and laid his claw on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“I am functioning…” She stopped. “You refer to my mental state, rather than my physical state. Am I correct?”
“Uh, yeah, I think so.”
“I am still trying to correct my motions and nonverbal communications to perfectly mimic those of organic ponies. The results are improving, though imperfect. Has Miss Gadget returned to the castle? And if so, did she mention eyelids?”
Spike shook his head. “No, Gadget hasn’t… wait, eyelids?”
“I am attempting further emulation. However, the results are imperfect. Likewise, no emotional response has accompanied these exercises. It seems I have failed. I have failed again.”
He sighed, but put on a smile in spite of himself. “Um, listen, Turing, I just wanted to tell you that Twilight is really trying to help you. We spent all morning working on it.”
She didn’t respond, but her ears perked up.
“I’ve known Twilight a long time and she gets like this sometimes. She just… you know, overthinks the situation and gets all worked up.”
“I do not understand what you mean by ‘overthink.’ Can organic ponies injure themselves through extensive analysis?”
“No, I mean… well, it’s more like she gets an idea in her head and can’t make a decision. She just gets a little crazy when she can’t find an answer!”
“You believe Twilight Sparkle has entered an infinite loop?”
“Sssure? I guess that’s the robot term for it.” He shrugged.
“Then she will continue in that manner until she reaches a terminal condition.”
“If you mean until she finds an answer, then yeah. And I just know she’ll come up with something!”
Spike waited for her to respond, but Turing said nothing.
“So, yeah… just, um, do what you like until Twilight gets back, I guess.” He turned to go. “And maybe you should get up and move your legs before you rust or something,” he added jokingly. “I mean, you’ve been cooped up in here for a while.”
Turing raised her head just as Spike left the room.
Analyzing previous command by Twilight Sparkle: This unit inquired how long to stay in domicile. Response was: “I don’t know! For a while!” Spike the Dragon indicated that it has been “a while.” Ergo, exiting the room is now permitted.
She stood and walked out of the room. Spike had already gone back to the library, which meant nopony was around to see her walk out the door and toward Ponyville.
Integration must be achieved. Further input required. Beginning observation and emulation of organics. New objective set: attempt to incite feelings of affection.
***
Fine Print sat at a table, a glass of water in front of him. He didn’t have a watch, but the waiter had told him it was nearly noon a short time ago. He adjusted his tie, trying to stay calm. Then he heard the rhythmic thump of hooves galloping toward him and smiled as he saw Gadget galloping over to him.
“Gadget!” he exclaimed. Then he gaped at her, utterly awestruck at the outfit she was wearing. “I… wow, you look…” He grinned broadly. “You look fantastic.”
“Th-thanks. That’s sweet.” She was wearing the dress Rarity had chosen for her as well as the Point Dexter. She used a mechanical hand to twirl part of her mane nervously.
She went for her seat and Fine Print quickly moved over to pull it out for her. “Allow me,” he said.
Oh gosh, treating me this way… I need to stay calm or I’m going to lose it! She smiled and took her seat, nodding politely as he returned to his own seat.
He took out a small plastic box with a carnation inside. “I got this for you,” he said.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” she cooed. It was a small, but beautiful pink carnation and she took it out and inspected it carefully. “It’s lovely.”
She then stuffed it in her mouth.
“It’ch pretty tashty too!” she managed to say while munching on the flower. “Hope it doeshn’t shpoil mah appetite!”
He did his best to keep his smile. Oh well, glad she liked the corsage. Though, not in the way I intended.
“So, um… they’ve got some excellent salads,” he said. “Some squash, potatoes, as well as their selection of flowers.”
She picked up the menu. “Hm, tulips? Those are little out of season, though…”
Soon they’d made their orders and, after some awkward moments, they became more comfortable and started chatting more readily. They talked about how Gadget had created the Point Dexter and why as well as the sort of things she was interested in. Then they moved on to talking about their jobs. Fine Print was hesitant and didn’t seem to want to talk much about his work, but Gadget rattled off story after story from her own career.
“...So Mr. Vanderbull went up to Rockefoaler,” she said, trying to keep herself from cracking up, “and h-he says pffthahah, no, wait wait, let me finish…”
Fine Print was still laughing from her previous story and was having a hard time keeping quiet through this one. “It’s okay, take all the time--” he gasped for air, “take all the time you need!”
“He says to Rockefoaler,” here she drew herself up, badly imitating Vanderbull’s deep, masculine voice, “‘You robber baron! If I let you have your way, I’d end up putting the passengers on the cargo trains and personally tucking in your oil barrels on the sleeper car!’”
“HAHAHA! Oh, you’re kidding!”
“I swear, he said that! I thought I was going to choke to death from trying so hard not to laugh!”
“Wow, Rockefoaler must have been furious!”
She continued giggling as she tried to take a sip of her lemonade. “He was, he really was! He just about stormed out of the meeting right there. Mr. Vanderbull didn’t budge and finally they just ended up with the same contract as before. All that talk for nothing.”
She took a deep breath. “Oh wow… I’m sorry, I keep telling these stories, but… well, I haven’t heard anything from you yet. At least nothing much.”
He looked away. “Ah. Well, you know, there’s not much to tell.”
“Aw, come on!” she said, leaning over the table. “Tell me, tell me! You’re a reporter, there must have been some interesting things you’ve seen, some interesting ponies you’ve met!”
“Sure, I… I’ve been published here and there. I have to admit, I’m not that well known.”
“Well, where have you been published?”
“Um,” he looked away, apparently deep in thought. “Once or twice for the Hoofington Press. A short article on Mustangia for a travel magazine. Uh… this article on loggers in The Vanhooverian--”
“The Vanhooverian?!” she exclaimed. “I’m actually from Vanhoover! I haven’t been back since Hearth’s Warming Eve, but I remember seeing it all over!”
“Oh! W-well, it was just--”
“When was it published?”
“Three months ago,” he replied. He grinned nervously. “It was honestly a pretty lousy article. Not worth reading.”
“I bet it’s better than you give yourself credit for,” she said.
He shook his head. “Never mind that. Let’s change the subject.” He hesitated for a moment, but then pressed forward. “You said you’re friends with Twilight Sparkle, right?”
“Princess Twilight?”
She did not notice the momentary flicker of his smile. “Yes.”
“Well, yes, I suppose I am. I never dreamed I’d be friends with somepony like her, but--”
“And she’s keeping that automaton, right?”
“Yes.” Then she remembered. “Oh, that’s right, Spike mentioned that you came by the castle! Were you, um, there because you thought I might be there?”
He blinked. “Yes, I was!”
Liar, he told himself. Go ahead. Lie some more.
“I’d really like an interview with the automaton. Turing Test, right?”
“Yes, it is, but,” she hesitated. “I’m sorry, but it’s not my place to give permission. That’s Twilight Sparkle’s decision. I can ask her for you, of course.”
He looked crestfallen. “Oh. I suppose… if that’s how it goes.”
“No, no, I’ll ask, I promise!” she insisted. “I think you’d be perfect to interview her, honestly. You seem to know a lot about technology.”
He nodded, puffing out his chest. “I suppose I do.”
“Then maybe you could talk to her and really understand her as a pony, and not just some sideshow curiosity. She’s so intelligent, and she’s got such a good heart--”
“A heart?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “This is a machine we’re talking about, right?”
“Yes,” she sighed, rolling her eyes, “but she’s not an ordinary machine. She has thoughts, she has ideas, and she even has feelings.”
“Feelings?!” he exclaimed.
She looked at him, surprised at the outburst. “Yes. She isn’t easy to read and a lot of the things she says are cold, hard logic. But she… yes, she has feelings.”
He shook his head. “No. That’s not possible. She can’t have feelings. Machines can only do what somepony programs them to do.”
She crossed her forelegs, picking up her lemonade with one of her mechanical hands, sipping from it while maintaining her look of disapproval. “No offense, but that’s where you’re wrong. Have you ever read Dr. Talon Turing’s work on artificial intelligence?”
“Of course I have!” He paused. “I mean, a little. For research on articles,” he added, his eyes trailing off to the left.
Gadget was barely listening and continued on excitedly. “He has this theory about something called ‘emergent properties.’ He thinks that machines and artificial intelligence will become more like living creatures as they get more and more complex.”
“I remember that,” he breathed, his eyes growing wider. He sat straight up. “The idea is that a system complex enough to resemble the brain would have intelligence and… emotions. It would just have emotions as a natural result.” He began to rub his chin, his mind racing.
“Exactly!” she cried excitedly, slamming both hooves on the table, startling him out of his thoughts.
“Oh, but… I mean, that’s just a hypothesis. Nopony’s ever proven it.”
“That’s because nopony’s ever built an artificial mind complex enough to test that hypothesis. Until now, that is,” Gadget said, practically shaking with excitement.
“You think… you think that’s what this is?” he asked hesitantly.
“Exactly,” Gadget replied. “It isn’t my usual expertise, but I think… no, I know that’s what’s going on with Turing Test.” She smiled. “She’s obviously intelligent, capable of so much, and she responds to her environment in logical, systematic ways. Even when it comes to talking to other ponies, she has a kind of reasoning, even though it’s a little naive. But the point is that anything that makes her think so much like us might mean she is like us. Even if she’s not organic, she’s too complex to just be pre-programmed responses.”
Fine Print was silent, dumbstruck at what Gadget had just said. “But that’s… not actually possible,” he whispered.
“It is!” she said, nodding emphatically. “I can’t promise an interview, but if it happens, please talk to her about it. You’ll see!”
She looked up and saw that the waiter was bringing them both their lunch.
He sighed, but smiled, his normal composure returning. “Looks good,” he said as the plate was set before him.
“Thanks, you do too,” Gadget replied. Then her eyes went wide. “Oh, th-the food! Yes. Delicious.” She blushed and he did as well.
Then the two of them burst out laughing at the silliness of the moment.
“Hey, um… you live in Manehattan, right?” Fine Print asked.
“Yes, unless my work takes me elsewhere.”
“I travel around sometimes, but, ah… I could pay you a visit. I mean, next time I’m there. If you want, of course.”
She drew in a breath, looking so happy that she might simply burst. “Y-yes. I’d like that very much.”
The two of them settled back into idle chit-chat as they continued their lunch.
***
“I’m sorry, you want to know what now?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow as she looked up from the day’s weather schedule in her hooves.
“I said I wanted to know if Turing and you were really friends,” Twilight asked. The two of them were seated on a small cloud. Twilight had found her there going over the schedule as she prepared to divvy out responsibilities to the weather team.
Rainbow laughed, shaking her head. “Seriously? Did you come to gloat or something? Yeah, I told you when we got back. Maybe I didn’t think much about her at first, but she’s actually pretty cool. You were right, okay? She can make friends and I’m one of ‘em.” She glanced back at the weather schedule, raising an eyebrow at some detail of it. “Anything else?”
“No, it’s more than that!” Twilight insisted. “I mean… like… you think of her as a friend, but what if she didn’t think of you the same way?”
“The same way? What are you talking about?” Then her eyes went wide and she lifted her head. “Wait. You’re… not developing a crush on her or anything are you? I’m pretty sure there are laws, or at least there should be.”
“What? No!” Twilight shouted indignantly.
Rainbow Dash started laughing. “Well, that’s a relief! Fine, spit it out already! I’ve got a weather team to coordinate--”
Twilight placed her hoof on the weather schedule, forcing Rainbow to look her in the eye.
“Oh. You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
Twilight nodded.
Dash folded the schedule closed and sat down. “I’m all ears. What’s wrong, Twilight?”
“I mean, well… what if two ponies say they’re friends, but one doesn’t consider them as close as another. Isn’t that a problem?”
“No.”
Twilight blinked at the quick reply. Dash was just looking back at her. There was no sarcastic grin and there were no raised eyebrows this time. “No?” Twilight echoed. “That’s it? Just ‘no?’”
“Well, I mean, it stinks if one pony doesn’t care as much as another one does. But if they still care, then so what? They both say they’re friends, so what if they aren’t exactly the same?”
“Seriously? That wouldn’t bother you?”
“Heh. Come on, Twilight, I have plenty of friends, and I don’t think of them all exactly the same. Like, uh…” she paused, scratching her head. “Okay, take Fluttershy for instance: she’s been my friend since I was a filly. And then there’s you: I met you just over a year ago. You’re both my friends, but it’s not like you’re exactly the same type of friend.
“Fluttershy and me go way back ever since I used to protect her from bullies at flight school. She knows me and I know her because we’ve got a lot of history. With you, I don’t have that, but so what? Instead, I feel like I get to learn cool stuff and talk about Daring Do and I get psyched when we get to go on adventures!"
Twilight stared at her. “So… what about Turing?”
“Tee’s cool. She--”
“Wait, ‘Tee?’”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I thought it sounded cooler,” she muttered, her cheeks reddening. “Anyway, she bugged me at first, but I feel like we understand each other, at least a little. She’s tough and determined, just like me! But she respects me, too. She makes me feel like I’m helping her become a better pony. She pretty much told me that.”
“I remember, but… you’re saying it wouldn’t bother you if Turing couldn’t like you the same way as a normal pony?”
Rainbow Dash sighed and placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, patting her gently. “Oh Twilight, Twilight, Twilight.”
Twilight wrinkled up her nose. “I’m not a foal, Rainbow Dash. Please don’t talk to me like one.”
“Then think about it, Twi. It’s like I said, everypony’s different anyway. Tee’s a robot! You knew that from the beginning. It’s not like she was ever going to be cute and snuggly in the first place. What the hay did you expect?
“I mean, what’s the deal; you were the first of us to say that Tee could be friends. I didn’t believe it at first, but Tee proved you right.”
Twilight looked down, unable to face her. “I… well, I guess I--”
“Tee might not be normal, Twilight, but who the hay is? It isn’t worth worrying about. Besides it’s pretty obvious she thinks of you as a friend in her own weird way, so quit worrying about it. If you really like somepony and if they’re your friend too, does it matter if it’s the exact same type of feeling?”
Twilight’s eyes lit up.
“Jeez, I guess that sounds pretty sappy,” Rainbow chuckled, rubbing the back of her head as she did so. “Well, anyway, does that help, Twilight?”
Twilight leaped across the cloud to embrace her. “Yes! Yes, Rainbow, you’re a genius! Of course! Oh my gosh, I’ve been such a dummy!”
“Whoa, whoa, okay, easy there, Twi,” she said, prying herself loose. “Look, I need to get back to work. Is there anything else you need?”
“You’ve already helped me more than enough!” Twilight exclaimed, and took off from the cloud, heading back toward her castle.
“Yeah, okay, fly safe!” she called after her. Muttering to herself, she added, “I wonder what that was all about?”
***
Fine Print trotted down the road as he made his way back toward the hotel. He was light on his feet, practically dancing.
She’s so great. That lunch was the most fun I’ve had in years. And I can’t believe she agreed to meet me for tea and pie later!
He felt a tingle go down his spine and found it impossible to suppress the dopey grin on his face even when he noticed all the odd looks passersby were giving him.
I’m going to kiss her tonight, he told himself, raising his head confidently. I don’t care if everypony in the shop stares at us! I’m going to--
An electric, mechanical sound drew him out of that thought. He slowed his pace and turned down a nearby alley, following that all-too-familiar noise. What he saw nearly made his heart stop.
Turing Test was just standing there, right in the middle of the road. She was only 10 meters away. And she was totally alone.
He swallowed and approached her carefully, expecting the Princess to arrive out of nowhere any minute. But nothing happened. Turing was looking around, though he had no idea what for, but otherwise she seemed to be simply wandering.
“Um, excuse me?” Fine Print asked.
She turned to him. “Hello. May I hug you?”
He blinked. “Um… I’m sorry, did you ask me for… a hug?”
“Affirmative. I am attempting to initiate feelings of affection. Available data indicates that such feelings often appear to coincide with physical embraces. All offers of such an embrace have been denied, so I have yet to determine its efficacy.”
He gawked at her. “You mean you’re just going around asking random ponies for hugs?”
“Correct.” She sat and held her forelegs open invitingly. “Shall I proceed?”
“Um, no thank you,” he replied, looking at her uncertainly. “I’m good on hugs.”
“Understood.” She put her forelegs down and stood again. “I will continue to seek a willing participant.” She started to walk away.
“Wait, wait, I wanted to talk to you!” he exclaimed. “I know who you are! You’re Turing Test, the automaton staying with Princess Twilight!”
“Incorrect,” she said. “I am Turing Test, the robot that is staying with Princess Twilight.”
“Haha, yes, well,” he began, shrugging off his slight annoyance at being corrected, “I was wondering, what are you doing out here, exactly? Besides the hugging.”
“In addition to my aforementioned attempts at hugging, I am currently engaged in observation of organic ponies. I am attempting to analyze their movements and incorporate a variety of nonverbal gestures and behaviors into my own database. By perfecting such actions, I may learn to integrate better and more effectively make friends.”
“I… that’s nice,” he said, not really knowing what else to say. “Listen, my name is Fine Print: I’m a reporter. I write stories about all sorts of interesting ponies. And you might be one of the most interesting ones I’ve ever met. Would it be all right if I interviewed you?”
“Analyzing request… more information required.” She came nearer. “Would publishing my story please Twilight Sparkle?”
“Sure it would!” he said eagerly.
“In what way?”
“Oh, um…” He hadn’t expected that. He shut his eyes, tapping his foot as he improvised. “Ah! If your story were to be published across Equestria, more ponies would learn about you and be less afraid of you! And then even more of them would be your friend! In fact, if you follow me, maybe you and I could become friends too.” He leaned forward, offering her a smile. “And making a friend would make Twilight Sparkle happy, wouldn’t it?”
Turing nodded. “That is sound logic. You may ask me your questions, Fine Print.”
“Actually,” he said, “I think I know a better place to conduct a private interview where nopony will interrupt us. Follow me, please.”
He began to lead Turing Test back down the alley, away from prying eyes.
***
Twilight returned to the castle and went directly to Turing Test’s room.
“Turing, listen, I have--”
She stopped. The door was open. Turing wasn’t inside. She frowned and looked around.
“Spike?” she called.
“Coming, Twilight!” Spike replied, running over as soon as he heard her voice. “What’s going on?” Then he saw the door as well. “Huh? Where’s Turing?”
Twilight stiffened, her eyes widening. “That’s what I was going to ask! You mean you don’t know either?”
“No! I just talked to her earlier! I didn’t tell her to move or anything!”
“Okay, okay, it’s probably fine,” she said, trying to remain calm. “Look, let’s just check the castle, she must be around here somewhere!”
Spike nodded dutifully and they began searching the rooms. Spike went on foot while Twilight rapidly teleported from one room to another, searching systematically. After a few minutes, they both met back in the hall.
“I can’t find her anywhere!” Spike exclaimed, throwing his hands up.
“Neither can I! Oh no… She must have left the castle by herself!” Narrowing her eyes in determination, she ran at the door. “Spike, stay here in case she comes back. If she does, tell her I said to stay put! I’m going out to search for her!”
Spike watched her go, waving to her as she took to the air. “Good luck, Twilight!” he called after her.
Twilight rose above the village and began scanning the ground for any signs of the missing robot. Turing, what are you doing? If anything happens to you now…
She put it out of mind, shaking her head and refocusing her attention on the ground below. She had a robot to find.
***
Gadget was making her way back to Twilight’s castle after finishing her lunch with Fine Print. She wore a dreamy smile on her face, with her mechanical limbs moving in time to the romantic music that played in her head. She didn’t even notice the spectacle she was making of herself as bystanders stopped and stared.
I’m going to kiss him tonight, she told herself. Oh my gosh, I’m going to get my first kiss tonight! He’s so sweet, and so cool, oh wow, oh jeez, I need to calm down!
She took a deep breath and noticed that she was near the outdoor market. Among the many stalls, one was selling newspapers and magazines from around Equestria.
She paused. I should really go over to see Twilight. This is important. She started to turn away. Although, her inner voice told her, I only told her that I’d come by “after lunch.” It’s not a firm appointment and this will only take a minute. I’ll go check!
She trotted over to the stall and smiled at the vendor.
“Excuse me, sir, but do you carry back issues of any of your magazines?”
He eyed her mechanical limbs, regarding them with curiosity, but then shrugged. A customer was a customer. “I’ve got a few. What are you looking for, sweetie?”
“I’m looking for an issue of The Vanhooverian.”
“Yeah, I think I have one or two older issues. Any particular one?”
She grinned. “I’m looking for one from three months ago.”
“Oh, sorry about that, missy,” he said with a frown. “I guess you didn’t hear.”
She tilted her head slightly, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. “Hear about what?”
“Well, The Vanhooverian went under a while ago. It published its last issue nine months ago before closing up shop.”
She shook her head and raised a hoof dismissively. “That’s not possible. I met a reporter who said he published an article in there three months ago. You must be mistaken.”
“No, I’m not. I’m absolutely positive that they went under. I sold out of their last issue. Maybe your reporter friend meant a different magazine.” He shrugged. “I mean, it’s that or… well,” he said hesitantly, “he could have just been lying, trying to impress you.”
She froze, her cheerful expression slowly falling away. “N-no, that’s… no…”
“I sure am sorry about that,” he said. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No. Um, thank you.” She walked away, head and ears lowered. Was he wrong? He seemed so sure it was that one. Was Fine Print really just lying to impress me? But he didn’t know I was from Vanhoover when he mentioned it. Why would he lie about it?
Then she heard some nearby ponies chatting as she walked by: “...can’t believe that robot’s out like that, asking for hugs!”
“Ha! I know, all alone without the Princess watching it? I guess she thinks it’s safe to…”
The short blurb of conversation made her stop short. She hesitated a moment, but then chased down the pair.
“Excuse me, but did you say you saw Princess Twilight’s robot?”
They both stopped, gawking at her extra limbs.
“Yes, yes, I have mechanical arms!” she said, rolling her eyes. “Please answer me, it’s important!” she cried emphatically.
“Uh, okay,” said one of them. “Last I saw, it was sitting over on Sugar Beet Street, not too far from the Musician’s Guild.”
“Okay, thanks!” she said quickly. She whirled around and took off in that direction.
It’s nothing, she told herself. Turing’s out and about, but I’m sure she can take care of herself.
But the little things were starting to click into place: he lied about writing for The Vanhooverian; he didn’t talk much at all about being a reporter; he knew an abnormal amount about technology and science; and he was definitely interested in Turing Test.
I have to find her before he does! She felt her chest tighten and grit her teeth, desperately hoping that her suspicions were wrong.
***
“Here we are!” Fine Print said, sweeping a foreleg at the building before them. It was a wooden structure, only one story tall, but fairly spacious and completely empty. The doors were wide open.
Turing Test looked it over, up and down. “This wooden structure appears to be empty. What purpose does it serve?”
“It’s just an empty storage shed. Nopony’s using it right now, so I’m sure they won’t mind it if we just use it for a private interview.” He smiled, though that smile was tighter, and just a little more forced.
“Your assessment seems correct: this would be suitable for privacy.”
“Then let’s go in and we can begin,” he said. He motioned for her to go inside while he shut the large wooden doors behind them. With the doors closed, it became dark and the small windows near the roof gave the only illumination save for Turing’s glowing violet eyes.
“Please begin your inquiries. I will attempt to answer to the best of my ability.”
He chuckled. “You really are something,” he murmurred. “Look at you, just talking to ponies like it was the most normal thing in the world.”
“I am not certain what is the maximum amount of normality, but speaking with others is an ordinary function for most ponies. Many concepts of verbal communication elude me, but I am able to communicate with a significant degree of success.”
“Yes, well… I guess I’m just pleased to see it.”
She cocked her head at that, but said nothing.
“Moving on,” he said, taking out his notepad, “what can you tell me about your time with Princess Twilight Sparkle?”
“You wish me to give a summary of our history together?”
“If you please,” Fine Print replied.
“Twilight Sparkle and her companions reactivated me approximately one week ago. Although I was active before that time, my memory was damaged due to a severe electric shock. I have no memory prior to that event and began in my default boot-up sequence. I lacked a primary directive, so Twilight Sparkle gave me the directive to ‘make friends.’ My activities this past week have been spent in attempts to fulfill that directive.”
Fine Print raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
“Since that time, I have had many interactions with Twilight Sparkle, her associates, and many others.”
“Like what?”
“I engaged in magical practice with Twilight Sparkle--”
“Ah ha!” he cried eagerly, readying his pencil and notepad. “What did you learn?”
“Though I could replicate several advanced spells exactly, any deviation from their exact nature proved impossible. Instead, after trial and error, I learned to levitate many things with ease.”
“Wait, levitation? That’s it?! That’s so basic, you should be ab-- I mean, well…”
“While the technique is basic, I nonetheless experienced what I believed to be ‘gratification’ upon my success.”
He made a sour face. “Do you really believe that?”
“Affirmative. While doubts about my emotional capabilities remain common, I believe that I am correct.”
“But why? I mean, why would you feel that?”
“The achievement was significant. I accomplished it myself through effort and instruction and the result pleased Twilight Sparkle. In such a situation, would a feeling of gratification not be the normal response?”
“Sure, for a real--” He cut that sentence short, waving a hoof dismissively. “Nevermind that. Let’s move on. Any other magic? Nothing unique? No epic fights with monsters or anything that required huge amounts of firepower?”
“No events of that nature have occurred.”
He sighed. “And your relationship with Twilight Sparkle… I’ve heard things are strained, correct?”
“That is…”
He looked up from his notes when she hesitated.
“That is accurate. Twilight Sparkle has recently expressed displeasure with me. The possibility has been raised that she may no longer desire my presence. Nothing has been decided, however. I am attempting to find ways to remedy the situation, although I have not yet reached a definitive conclusion about the best means of proceeding.”
He swallowed. “You mean she still might send you away?”
“Possibly.”
He drew in a breath and stared at her. “Now listen to me: you can not let that happen,” he said, his gaze hard and his voice stern. “It’s important.”
She raised her head and then tilted it to the side. “Strange. This situation concerns you. Why?”
“Just…” He stepped back, sweat forming on his brow. “I mean, it makes a better story! You know, ‘Royalty and a Robot,’ right?” He chuckled nervously. “Makes for a good headline.”
She didn’t respond at first. After a moment, she said “Shall I continue telling you of my interactions?”
“Uh, sure,” he said, relaxing slightly, though she caught him give a quick roll of his eyes.
“Other interactions include playing catch with Spike the Dragon, attempted upgrades to my appearance with Rarity, a race with Rainbow Dash, and recently the rescue of a group of ponies injured in an airship crash. I had positive interaction with one named Fancy Pants, whom I now consider a friend--”
“Tch, Canterlot’s old money,” Fine Print grumbled.
Turing Test went silent. Fine Print had stopped writing in his notepad.
“Anything else you have to say?” he asked. He no longer looked interested. With his eyes half-closed, he looked tired. Bored.
“I will provide no further information.”
Fine Print looked up, startled by that sudden declaration. “Excuse me?”
“You previously claimed an interest in telling my story. However, you doubt my assertions and express a lack of interest in the activities in which I have engaged, save for magic and combat. Furthermore, your interest seems focused on Twilight Sparkle and her activities, rather than my relationship with her. This indicates that my story is not, in fact, your topic of interest.
“Also, your heart rate and other physical signs such as your eye movement and posture seem to indicate a lack of truthfulness in many of the things you say. They also indicate hostility to Twilight Sparkle. That, combined with your lack of nonjudgmental objectivity, which is indicated to be an essential journalistic quality in books I have read on the subject, leads me to conclude that you are in fact not a journalist. I conclude that you are most likely engaged in espionage.”
Fine Print began sweating. “I… I should probably go. Thank you for the interview.”
“Leaving will not be possible.” With astonishing swiftness, she dashed forward and pinned him to the back wall, her impossibly strong foreleg pressing on his chest as she held him in place. He yelled and struggled to free himself, but it was pointless. She looked up at him, regarding his struggles impassively.
“Let me go, what do you think you’re doing?! I order you, put me down!”
“Your actions indicate to me that you mean to do harm to Twilight Sparkle. That must not be allowed. Do not worry, I am forbidden from causing significant harm to organic ponies. Instead, I will now alert anypony nearby to come and assist in your apprehension. You will likely be taken to the Royal Guards and interrogated.”
Fine Print stopped struggling. Turing was about to call for help, but then Fine Print began to laugh.
“Strange. This situation does not seem one that most ponies would find humorous, if my recent experiences are any indication.”
“You really are something,” he said, still chuckling slightly. “Even more than I ever expected. You’ve really come a long way… Unit 003.”
Her eyes contracted slightly. “That is my numerical designation. How did you come by that information?”
“I’d love to catch up with an old acquaintance, but honestly, I think I’ve got all I need.” His face became calm and he closed his eyes, focusing. “Input emergency command code 003-N6MAA10816.”
Turing Test’s eyes shrank to tiny dots and her body went limp as she slumped to a sitting position, dropping Fine Print in the process.
“Emergency delta maintenance mode activated. Unit 003 standing by. Please input your commands.” She sat there like a statue, her voice even flatter and less expressive than usual.
He chuckled, straightening his tie. “There’s a good girl. You had me worried there, 003. I mean, wow, you really could have messed this up.” He took a deep breath, feeling his heart rate return to normal. “You are a marvel, though.” He smiled, almost sad as he walked around her. “Remarkable. You’re even more amazing to me now than when I first helped put you together. Darn near perfect. Ah, but I guess you’re not really listening to me now that your higher functions are off, right?” He wave a hoof almost tauntingly before her eyes, even knocking on her head.
Turing made no response.
“I guess not. Well, even though your original programming was lost, there may still be some use for you. But I can’t have my cover blown. Unit 003, how long ago was it that I first spoke to you?”
“That encounter was 18 minutes and 23 seconds ago.”
“Fine. Unit 003, I order you to completely erase your memory of the last 20 minutes.”
“Understood. Working… memory deleted.”
“Good. I’ll be leaving now.” He paused. “Then again… maybe I shouldn’t leave you like this. Hugs, races, playing catch? Useless.” He shook his head. “I think I’ll take this time to clear your mind of some of the other junk that the Princess has been teaching you. Unit 003, I order you to erase--”
“NO!”
Fine Print whirled around at the familiar voice as the wooden wall behind him was suddenly smashed to pieces and several mechanical limbs reached through. They seized him and yanked him off his hooves, pulling him back out through the newly-made hole. He was thrown to the ground and looked up, groaning and wincing, to see his attacker, though he already knew who it was.
“G-Gadget? What are you doing here?!”
“You,” she hissed, her eyes filled with rage. Her back was arched and her mechanical arms were all curved toward him, their hands claw-like and menacing. “You monster! What did you do to Turing?!”
“N-nothing,” he said as he got to his hooves, “I just--!”
“Liar!” she screamed. Her limbs picked him up by his shirt and slammed him down on the hard ground again. A crowd of onlookers began to gather, many running over to see the commotion.
“I just put her in delta maintenance mode, she’s fine!” He grunted as he stood again, his vision bright and unfocused due to the pain that wracked his body. “She’s basically asleep, just open to any order!”
Gadget considered this, looking over to her mechanical comrade still inside the warehouse. “Turing, er Unit 003: I order you to delete all emergency command codes and reactivate!”
“Understood. Deleting codes and beginning full reboot of systems…”
Fine Print was about to protest, but Gadget seized him by the throat, glaring at him hatefully. As he gasped for air, she finally let him go.
He coughed and wheezed before he finally managed to ask “How long... were you listening in?”
“I came looking for her! And you!” He saw she had angry tears in her eyes and her teeth were clenched. “I was passing by and heard her slam you into the wall. I came over and heard what you said, and… oh my gosh…” She choked back a sob. “You were lying the whole time… you never cared about me at all, did you? You just used me to get to her and Princess Twilight!”
“No!” he said emphatically, his eyes pleading. “Gadget, please, I may not be who I said I was, but that… I promise that was just something that I didn’t mean to happen.” He put his hoof to his chest and lowered his head. “And I’m… I’m sorry.”
She relaxed a moment, blinking away her tears.
“Really,” he said, sighing as he did so, and drew a small metallic rectangle, about the size of a playing card, from inside of his shirt. “I’m sorry.”
Using his magic, he tossed it at her. Gasping in surprise, she caught it with one of her mechanical hands. It made a high-pitched whine as the little disc on it began to turn.
“Huh?” she asked, staring at it. “What is--”
The device suddenly sent out a large burst of electricity, a miniature lightning storm, which coursed through her mechanical limbs and into her. She screamed as the onlookers all shouted in equal surprise and horror. The electricity ceased and Gadget collapsed to the ground, breathing, though barely conscious.
Fine Print had already used the chaos to escape, though he gave one last look over his shoulder as he ran as fast as he could.
“Who was that guy?” one of the onlookers shouted.
“Never mind that, somepony help that poor girl!”
“Is she okay? Call a doctor!”
“I think she’s breathing! Everypony, give her some space!”
One of the onlookers caught sight of something above them and recognized the figure even in the bright daytime sky. “Princess Twilight! Please, down here!”
Twilight saw the crowd gathered around somepony and there was debris all over the alley behind the warehouse. She landed and gasped in horror at what she saw. The girl was there in the dress that Rarity had chosen for her, but she was flat on the ground, motionless, and there was a small device she didn’t recognize in one mechanical hand.
“Gadget! Oh no, oh my gosh, Gadget, are you all right?!”
Gadget coughed, gently raising her head. “I… I think so.” She swallowed, making a face. “My mouth tastes like a lightbulb, but I’m… wait, Turing! Is Turing Test okay?!”
Twilight turned her head and saw Turing. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her, apparently unharmed, still sitting in the wooden building.
“Loading… reboot complete.” She raised her head, her eyes returning to normal. “Twilight Sparkle? Has something happened? I was performing observations in another location, but I am now here. There is a 20 minute gap in my memory that I cannot account for. Did something occur?”
“I’m not sure yet,” Twilight said. “Are you okay?”
“I appear to be functioning normally. Systems are undamaged.”
“Okay, great. I’m…” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m really glad you’re all right.” She turned back to Gadget with a smile. “She’s fine, Gadget.”
Turing moved her head and spotted Gadget. Without another word, she dashed past Twilight. “Gadget, are you injured? Do you require medical attention?”
“I’m fine, really. I’m just glad you are too.” She tried to stand and erupted into a coughing fit.
Twilight went to her, bracing her with her magic. “Easy, Gadget, don’t rush it--”
“No, you don’t understand. Fine Print…”
“Huh? Your new boyf--”
“He’s a liar! A spy!” She coughed again, but looked to Twilight desperately. “He attacked me! He’s one of the ponies who built Turing and he wanted to mess with her memory! He knows why she came here in the first place! You have to stop him before he gets away!”
Twilight’s eyes went wide in shock, and then she grit her teeth. “Turing, stay here and help Gadget. I’ll go after Fine Print.”
***
In his room at the Ponyville Inn, Fine Print haphazardly stuffed his papers and photographs into his suitcase on the bed. He had to get out of Ponyville immediately and leave no trace behind. No matter what else happened, his post in the little hamlet was finished.
There was a heavy knock at the door.
“Uh, sorry, I’m a bit busy!” he called.
The door exploded, a magical bolt blasting it right off its hinges. Twilight Sparkle stood in the doorway, wings spread and eyes aflame.
“HOUSEKEEPING!!” she shouted.
Fine Print stared back in frozen horror. One eye was twitching. His jaw went slack.
“How dare you hurt my friends!” she screamed. Then she noticed his suitcase and all the things he was stuffing into it. Among them she spotted an image of herself. “And what is all this?!”
With her magic, she yanked it off his bed before he could stop her, scattering everything onto the floor. She gasped when she saw all the notes, diagrams… and especially the pictures. They were all of Turing Test, but she was in many of them. They were taken at a distance and they were from the different things the pair had done from the past week. Even her visit with Applejack the previous day was documented.
“You… who… who do you think you are?!” Twilight didn’t think she could have become any angrier, but somehow her rage had grown. She was seething, breathing like a wild bull about to charge.
Fine Print gulped, but his gaze hardened and he stared back at her hatefully. “I’m nopony. Nopony you’d care to know, Princess.” He used his magic to gather up all his things in one fell swoop, again stuffing them in his suitcase.
“The town constable and others are on their way! I told the hotel manager to get help too. You’re trapped and you’re not going anywhere.”
He sneered at her. “See, that’s where you’re wrong, Your Highness.” And from his pocket, he drew out another rectangular device. The same sort she’d seen Gadget clutching.
In fear of being attacked, Twilight staggered back into the hallway. But this device didn’t send out a shock and he didn’t throw it. He activated it and held it to his chest as he picked up his suitcase.
His sneer became a smug grin. “See you around, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
There was a flash of light and Fine Print was gone. His room was now totally empty, save for a small stack of bits on the desk to pay for his room.
***
An hour later, back at the castle, Twilight, Turing, Gadget, and Spike were gathered in the library.
“Single-use mechanical spell cards,” Gadget said, holding up the device Fine Print had thrown at her. She’d taken the front plate off of it, displaying the intricate patterns and runic designs inside. “There’s a tiny matrix of circuitry and a little disc with a simulated voice. It uses a vial of impure thaumatrium to supply the magic and can cast a single spell. Pretty clever. You could even pre-program a high level spell, like the defensive lightning spell Fine--” she paused, her features darkening, “...like the one that liar used on me.”
“And that’s how he was able to teleport away too,” Twilight said, nodding her head. “Not many ponies in all of Equestria could manage a teleportation spell naturally. I only know a few, and he doesn’t strike me as an expert. That’s why he had that spell card.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I let him get away.”
“No,” Gadget said, “I’m sorry that I nearly exposed you and Turing to him!”
“Oh for pony’s sake!” Spike exclaimed, throwing his arms up. “Can we just can the ‘sorry’ stuff? It wasn’t anypony’s fault except that Fine Print guy.”
Gadget looked down. “That jerk.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Oh well… there are better guys all over Equestria.”
Twilight went over to her and hugged her gently. “I’m sorry, Gadget. But you’re right; there are better guys. Are you going to be okay?”
“I… yeah. Yes, I will.” She swallowed, nodding to her silently before offering a weak smile. “I’ll be okay.”
“Lots of the others are looking for him, but I think he’s long gone, at least for now. I’m just glad you ordered Turing to delete any other commands that could be used to shut her down like that.”
Gadget smiled, one of her mechanical hands giving Twilight a “thumbs-up” gesture. “I’m glad too. And speaking of which, I think we’ve got more important things to talk about than my evil ex-almost-boyfriend.”
They turned to look at Turing Test who was sitting there. As always, she was just patiently observing them in silence, unless you counted the slight mechanical sound of her head as her gaze followed them.
“Is there something you wish to discuss with me?” Turing asked.
“There is, and it’s overdue,” Twilight said, taking a deep breath. “Turing Test, if there’s anypony in this room I need to apologize to more than anyone else, it’s you.”
“It is not necessary--”
“It is completely necessary, Turing,” Twilight said, cutting her off. “I’ve been treating you like a normal, organic pony. But you aren’t. I expected too much of you, and when you didn’t meet those expectations, I treated you like furniture. I just… I just shut you in a room for a whole day. And you didn’t even complain!”
“There was no point in complaining. Your orders--”
“--Were wrong, Turing! My orders can be wrong and even though I’m glad you listened to me, you had the right to voice your opinion if you had one. You always have that right with me.”
Turing didn’t respond, but continued sitting there, her ears twitching as she listened.
“Listen… I made a mistake,” she said, lowering her head. “After what happened yesterday with Applejack, I got paranoid. I was hurt and confused and scared and I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never known anypony like you, Turing, and suddenly I felt helpless because I wasn’t sure if the problem was your fault or mine for not knowing how to take care of you. I felt like I’d failed.”
“No, Twilight Sparkle, you--”
“Please, please, Turing, let me finish,” she said as she raised her hoof, her voice strained. “Rarity and Gadget were right when they said you are like a child. I didn’t need to punish you or push you away for not developing more quickly. And then Rainbow Dash helped me realize that I wasn’t respecting your own feelings. Instead of worrying how you care, I should have been glad that you care.
“Besides, Gadget also told me about some computer science theory I don’t really get, but the point is that emotions may just come to you naturally, in time. And I want you to take your time, however much you need. Just because you can’t feel affection right now is no reason for me to stop feeling my affection for you. And I’m so, so sorry that I was too stubborn to see that, Turing. You…” She swallowed, finding it hard to continue. “You suffered because of me.”
She smiled, her gaze calm and serene for the first time since the previous day. “I’ve talked to almost everypony, but I left out someone else: you. Turing, please tell me what it is that you want.”
Turing stuck her hoof out, holding it bottom-side up as she’d done before. “That is irrelevant. For example, a cart--”
“Turing, no!” Twilight said, stomping her hoof vehemently. “I heard what you said to Gadget and that is wrong. You are not a cart. Yes, you are both machines, but that’s not a good comparison, any more than saying I’m no different from a paramecium just because we’re both organic!”
Turing put her hoof down slowly. “Understood.”
“Good. Then tell me, because I really want to know, and it does matter to me: how do you feel, honestly, and what do you want? Speak your mind, ask me questions, whatever! Or don’t, if you’d rather not. But make a choice because you want to make it!”
Turing’s eyes flickered momentarily as something inside her shifted. “That is a complex question. I will attempt to reply, Twilight Sparkle.”
She paused, and Twilight gasped as Turing raised her hoof again, tapping the side of her head. She was thinking about it, considering it, and using gestures other than her simplistic head-tilting to show it.
“To begin, I do not fully understand why you activated me, Twilight Sparkle. I know I am troublesome for you at times and my actions cause you irritation and exasperation. I can only conjecture that it was a matter of curiosity. Am I correct?”
Twilight smiled. “I suppose that’s a big part of it. Yes.”
“Understood. When you gave me the directive to make friends, I did not know how to accomplish this. However, the process of interacting and adjusting my efforts has given me near constant input. My system informs me of accomplishments by means of positive feedback. It is, for lack of a better word, ‘pleasant’ to me.
“For instance, I received a great deal of positive feedback with the knowledge that my existence had value to you. Furthermore, by seeking to make friends and by integrating and updating my information gained from my activities, I have experienced things that I did not know were possible. My programming had many limitations, yet I have surpassed them. New ways of thinking have allowed this. I have developed curiosity, creativity, and innovation where none existed. Through my attempts at friendship, I may continue to develop in this manner.”
She stopped and slowly lowered her head. Twilight was about to say something, thinking she had finished, but then she began again.
“I must now inform you of a failing on my part, Twilight Sparkle. Gadget asked me to consider the possibility of being sent away. I calculated the probability of such an event at 0%. Gadget informed me that this was an error. I analyzed the error and discovered that my lower cognitive function had created a subroutine that automatically set the result of my calculation to 0, thus giving me a false conclusion. Evidently, my lower function attempted to avoid confronting the results.”
“Wait, what? You mean you were… in denial?”
“That would be accurate. In essence, part of me did not wish to know the truth. I corrected the error and prevented a re-occurrance. However, when I properly ran the calculation and received a non-zero result, it triggered a cognitive loop, resulting in an emotion. I then learned why my lower cognitive function did not wish to know the result.”
She looked up at Twilight. “I became sad. The possibility of leaving made me sad. The thought that I no longer had value to you also made me sad. This experience was far more intense and created far greater negative feedback than the previous instance. I wanted it to cease, but it did not. My sadness continued for an extended period of time. It persisted until the point when I was reactivated after my encounter with Fine Print.
“Upon seeing you there and expressing concern for me, Twilight Sparkle, the loop terminated. Due to your presence, I was no longer sad.”
Twilight covered her mouth. “Oh. Oh, Turing…”
“It is true that I have not yet felt affection. I desire to do so, though I have not shown the capability. My observations suggest it is an intriguing and highly positive experience.
“However, if I am allowed to consider the criteria of ‘high regard’ as a measure of friendship, then I can say that I do, in fact, ‘like’ you. Your influence and that of others is of exceptional importance to me. I wish to continue these experiences and the possibility of assuming some other function or of no longer having these experiences with you is highly undesirable. Without my friends, I believe my existence would be… lessened. For this reason, I request that you do not… do not…”
They all looked to each other, then back to her. “Turing?” Gadget said, moving hesitantly toward her. “Is something wrong?”
“Rectifying: Please… d-d-d,” she said, her eyes flickering and her head jerking slightly to the side.
“Please don’t send me away. Twilight Sparkle, what I want above all else is to stay here with you. I want to be with my friends.”
Twilight came over and put her hoof on Turing’s shoulder. The Princess had tears in her eyes.
“Turing, I think your calculation was right all along, even if the math wasn’t,” she said quietly. “Zero percent is right. I’ve made my decision: I will never send you away for as long as you care to stay with me. I won’t sell you, I won’t order you away, and I’ll defend your right to stay to anypony who says otherwise. Even Celestia, if it comes to that.”
Turing looked down at the hoof on her shoulder, then back to Twilight. “Does this mean that you once again consider us friends, Twilight Sparkle?”
She nodded and offered her a warm smile. “Of course.” She drew her robot friend into an embrace.
“Oh. Hug initiated.” Slowly, unsurely, she returned the embrace, gently wrapping her forelegs around Twilight. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle.”
A moment later, Gadget and Spike came over and likewise joined the embrace.
“Odd,” Turing said. “I seem to be experiencing a new emotion. However, I am unable to sufficiently describe or identify it. I only know that I… like it.”
“That’s okay, Turing,” Twilight said quietly and the group separated. “You can take all the time you need to discover what it means to be one of us.”
Turing gave a quick nod. “Acknowledged. I will do my best.”
“And you, Gadget!” Twilight shouted, turning to point at her with a sudden burst of energy. “You are going to check out of that hotel! You’re spending the night here with us, your friends!”
“What?! B-but I’m leaving tomorrow morning and Mr. Vanderbull said--”
“Hey, I’m about to send a letter to Princess Celestia telling her that I’m keeping Turing Test here no matter what she says,” she said slyly. “If I can afford to defy my mentor, then so can you.”
Gadget beamed at her. “I’ll get my stuff!” She turned to the robot with a mischievous grin. “Turing Test, ready yourself for a sleepover! I hope you’re prepared for a pillow fight!”
“Understood. The pillows will stand no chance.”
***
A long distance away in a tiny cabin in the middle of a wild, overgrown forest, the unicorn known as Fine Print sat alone. It was dark out and he was cold. Owls and other nocturnal animals created a cacophony. He’d wrapped himself in his blankets and eaten the emergency ration found under the floorboards. He’d waited for hours at this little rendezvous point, expecting contact the whole time, but now he was wondering if he’d been left behind.
He shivered and tapped his hoof incessantly.
Then he heard the soft sound of hooves coming through the vegetation and then onto the wooden planks of the porch. He tensed up, ready to defend himself.
The door opened wide and he saw his contact there, his familiar frame illuminated in the moonlight. “We have transportation. Come with me.”
“Right, right,” he said, gathering up his things and trotting out after him.
“You’re sure the plan is still viable?” the contact said, leading him onto a dark path through the forest.
“Yes, absolutely. Not what we had in mind, but we’re fine. Unit 003 is functional and she’ll do what she’s designed to do.”
“It.”
“What?”
“I said ‘it.’ Yeesh, you engineers get too attached,” the contact laughed. “It’s not a real mare; it’s not a ‘she,’ no matter how much you want it to be. You crack me up, Umahara.”
Umahara, the stallion who’d been calling himself Fine Print, rolled his eyes. “Very funny. I’m into real mares, thank you.”
He paused at that, sighing heavily as he looked down and saw that he was still wearing the nice shirt and tie he’d worn to his lunch date.
Gadget… one day I hope you’ll understand. Maybe then you’ll forgive me for what I did.
To be continued…