Turing Test rounded the corner of the castle hallway and knocked on the door of the library.
“Twilight Sparkle?” she asked, pushing the door open. “You did not notify me of our magic lesson, but it is the appointed time, so I have--”
She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw that Twilight was indeed there, but she was not alone. Spike was there too, sitting on a table next to a towering plate of nachos, no less. But also accompanying her were three all-too-familiar fillies, all engaged in different activities around the spacious library floor.
“Hiya, Turing Test!” Apple Bloom said, waving to her before returning to the potion she was meticulously mixing. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle likewise glanced up from their work and waved to her.
“Oh, Turing Test!” Twilight exclaimed as she galloped over. “I’m so sorry, but, well, it looks like I double-booked today.”
“That is unsurprising, Twilight Sparkle,” Turing remarked, “as you often read two or more books in a day.”
Ignoring the chuckling from Spike, Twilight shook her head. “No, no, Turing, what I mean is that I accidentally scheduled ‘Twilight Time’ with the Cutie Mark Crusaders at the same time as our magic practice for today.”
Turing nodded, glancing around to see Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle all working on various projects. “Understood. I do not mind their company at all, so we may proceed, if you wish.”
Twilight pursed her lips, glancing back at the Crusaders. “Actually,” she said hesitantly, “could we postpone your magic practice until later?”
Turing tilted her head. “Is that necessary?” she asked. “I was eager to continue my work on shield spells. I appear to have developed some proficiency in the skill since studying with Shining Armor and then again with your guidance.”
As a demonstration, she extended her horn and cast a shield spell, encircling herself in a glowing, translucent bubble, the goldenrod magic slightly illuminating the crystalline walls of the castle.
Twilight tapped the shell of the shield lightly, then rapped on it with her hoof more strongly, feeling the solidity of the spell.
“Impressive! Very solid work, Turing!” Twilight said with a smile. Then she heaved a sigh. “Unfortunately, I think it would be best. I’m already giving my full attention to these little fillies, but given how, um, chaotic their work tends to be, as well as your own magic practice, I’m worried things could get a little out of hoof.” She clasped her hooves together. “I’m sorry, Turing.”
Turing only gave a little bow. “It is all right, Twilight Sparkle. I will practice my spells outside the castle in the meantime.” She turned to the other three. “Good luck with your projects, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.”
Turing trotted out of the library, but as she went, Apple Bloom looked up from her work, following her with her eyes.
“Apple Bloom?” Twilight’s voice seemed distant, and Apple Bloom didn’t even acknowledge it. “Apple Bloom, be careful!”
“Huh?” Apple Bloom turned and saw that she had poured almost all of the contents of her test tube into the beaker before her. “Whoa!” she exclaimed, yanking it away.
“Apple Bloom, really,” Twilight sighed, looking down at the beaker. “I told you not to add too much.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Apple Bloom replied. She offered Twilight a weak smile. “Well, at least I stopped. No harm, no--”
The beaker erupted, spewing a geyser of green goo all over Twilight, Apple Bloom, and the floor.
“--foul?” Apple Bloom squeaked, wiping the goo from her face. “Uh, sorry about that, Twilight.”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both began to snicker until Twilight shot them a glare. “Keep focusing, girls,” she said, sternly.
She then turned back to Apple Bloom, who was blushing and not meeting her gaze. “It’s all right, Apple Bloom,” Twilight sighed, placing her hoof on the little filly’s shoulder. “Spike, come on, let’s get some cleaner and some towels. We’d better get this stuff mopped up before it congeals and starts sticking to everything.”
“No problem!” Spike said, hopping off the table and joining Twilight as they ran out of the library.
“You okay, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked. “I haven’t seen you mess up a potion like that since we first started having Twilight Time!”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle agreed. “I thought you said today’s potion should be an easy one!”
“It is! Well, it was!” Apple Bloom shook her head. “Look, don’t worry about that potion,” she said. “I got distracted by Turing Test!”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle blinked.
“She’s not that distracting, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t have to make excuses.”
“No no no!” Apple Bloom said, waving a hoof. “I meant I got distracted by her flank!”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle glanced at each other, then back to Apple Bloom, their eyebrows raised in unison.
“Oh, fer Pete’s sake!” she groaned, throwing her hooves up. “Because she’s a blank flank, I meant!”
“Oh!” Sweetie Belle cried. “You’re right!”
“Hey, yeah!” Scootaloo added. “She is! Just like we were until, well…”
She glanced back at her own flank, now adorned with the lightning bolt set against the shield-shaped symbol that made up her own cutie mark. Her two friends likewise glanced at their own cutie marks, momentarily lapsing into contented sighs.
Apple Bloom shook her head again. “That’s my point!” she cried. “Look, we got our cutie marks in helpin’ other ponies get theirs, right?”
“Right!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exclaimed together.
“An’ Turing Test doesn’t have one, right?”
“Right!” Scootaloo said, her eyes going wide when Sweetie Belle didn’t join her.
“Hm,” Sweetie Belle said, looking down as she rubbed her chin. “I mean, I guess that’s true, but… do robots even get cutie marks?” she asked.
“Huh,” Apple Bloom replied, rubbing her own chin. “I’m not sure, now that I think about it.”
“Well, there’s one way to find out!” Scootaloo said, flashing a grin. “We can just ask her!”
***
Turing Test was focusing on the glowing rectangle in front of her as she moved it back and forth, attempting to master not only the shield but also its mobility. Other ponies might have been distracted by the sound of three eager fillies calling their names, but Turing was nothing if not a multitasker.
“Turing Test! Turing Test!” the Crusaders cried as they ran up to her.
“One moment,” Turing said as she extended the barrier a few more meters away from her before bringing it back to just a few centimeters in front of her face. She disengaged her magic and resumed her neutral mode. “Exercise complete.” She turned to the Crusaders. “How may I assist you, my young friends?”
“Well,” Sweetie Belle began, “we were practicing some stuff for Twilight Time - Apple Bloom was doing potions, I’ve been working on magic, and Scootaloo is making a miniature windmill - and then Apple Bloom saw you talking to Twilight and--”
“Ugh, get to the point!” Scootaloo groaned, rolling her eyes. “Turing Test, do robots get cutie marks?”
Turing was silent for a moment, her ears shifting slightly. “Cutie mark,” she repeated. “You refer to the image which appears on a pony’s flank to signify the unique ability in which they show great proficiency, correct?”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked to Sweetie Belle.
“She means that it shows your special talent,” Sweetie explained.
“Ohhh,” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo said. They looked back up at Turing Test and nodded.
“I see. Then I must reply that I am uncertain.” She placed a hoof to her chest. “Currently, I am the only robot known to exist, though there are most likely others who preceded me. I have no knowledge of them, and therefore I lack any knowledge of them having cutie marks. However, due to my nature as a mechanical being, it is unlikely that I will obtain a cutie mark.”
The three fillies looked down, their ears drooping.
“You seem disappointed by this information. I do not understand why.”
Apple Bloom sighed. “Well, ya know, it’s just that…” She paused, scratching the side of her head as she considered how to word what she wished to say. “See, we got our cutie marks while you were on yer trip to see Maud Pie.”
She turned slightly, gesturing to her cutie mark. The other two did the same.
“We got it after we helped Diamond Tiara figure out what her cutie mark really meant,” she continued.
“Twilight Sparkle informed me of your recent achievement,” Turing said. “I am sorry that I was not present for your Cutecañera.”
“That’s okay,” Apple Bloom said, shrugging her shoulders. “After all, I missed yer Bot Mitzvah… not by choice, though.”
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. “I think what she means is that we were hoping that, um,” she blushed slightly as she looked away, “well, we thought that maybe since we got our cutie marks helping ponies with cutie mark problems, then maybe we could, um… help you get yours?”
Turing’s eyes constricted.
Scootaloo chuckled. “Heh. Yeah, it was a dumb idea, I guess,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Sorry about bothering you during magic practice.”
The other two nodded, voicing their agreement, as they turned and began to walk away.
“One moment, please,” Turing said, reaching after them. The three fillies turned to face her. “I stated that it was unlikely that robots get cutie marks. However, there is no empirical evidence to the contrary, either. Since I am a pony, it is possible that I can obtain one. If you are offering to assist me in obtaining one, then I am willing to accept your offer.”
The three fillies all looked to each other with beaming smiles.
“All right!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, raising a hoof. “Time to get Turing Test a cutie mark!”
“Yeah!” the other two said, bumping hooves with her in response.
“I will inform Twilight Sparkle of this,” Turing Test said as she began to walk towards the castle. “How will we begin?”
The three Crusaders blinked.
“Huh,” Apple Bloom said.
“Uh… I guess we didn’t think about it that far,” Scootaloo said, blushing as she flashed a sheepish grin.
Sweetie Belle scrunched her eyes shut. “Hmmmm,” she hummed, sitting down and crossing her forelegs. “Ummm… Oh! Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!”
Turing Test cocked her head to the side. “You have a suggestion?”
“I think I know just what to do! And just the colt who can help!”
***
The three Crusaders and their robot companion rounded a corner in Ponyville and into a wide alley with a canvas canopy over it. Several large, upright boxes with flashing lights on their screens were on either side of it. The boxes had buttons and small sticks on them and made electronic beeping noises.
“What is this place?” Turing Test asked, peering closely at one of the screens. Small, pixelated figures appeared on them, and they were jumping, running, and climbing ladders.
“Arcade Alley!” Sweetie Belle said, grinning up at her. “It’s a place where you can put bits into the machines and they play games for you!”
“Machines?” Turing asked, cocking her head to the side. “Interesting. I was not aware of such technology existing in Ponyville, or anywhere else. How does it work?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged. “I asked Twilight once, and she said that it was made from magically enhanced gems that project light onto the screen. I didn’t really get what she was saying, but I guess it’s pretty simple and just looks impressive.”
Scootaloo cleared her throat. “Uh, Sweetie Belle?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at her. “Please tell me you didn’t drag us over here to play more ‘Kraftwerk’.”
“What?” Sweetie gasped. “No! I wanted to see if Turing’s talent was playing video games! I mean, they’re machines, she’s a machine… I thought it made sense!”
Apple Bloom rubbed her chin. “Hmm… I guess that does kinda make sense when ya say it like that.”
“And who better to teach her to play than--”
“Dang it!” came a shrill adolescent voice.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both sighed. “Button Mash,” they said in unison.
Turing was already following the sound and found the beanie-copter-clad colt standing on a stool in front of a cabinet. He was reaching into a small bag of coins, grumbling to himself as the words “Game Over” appeared on the screen in bright blue letters.
“That lousy Spokey Dokey thinks he can beat me?” he grumbled. “I’ll show him who’s the toughest in this circus!” He held up a bit and prepared to insert it into a slot on the front of the cabinet.
“Hello, Button Mash,” Turing said, startling the colt badly enough that he dropped the bit and it rolled under the cabinet.
“Augh, no!” he yelped reaching futilely for the bit. “I only have six of those left!” He sank to his haunches when he saw it was futile. “Whyyyy?!” he wailed dramatically.
There was a cough, and Sweetie Belle strolled over, wearing a confident smile. “Just leave it to me!” she said, thumping her chest. With that, her horn began to glow and, scrunching her face with the effort, she managed to lock onto the coin and levitate it out from under the heavy machine and into Button’s hoof.
“Aw, cool!” Button exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. He smiled at Sweetie. “Thanks a lot, Sweetie Belle!” He glanced down at the bit and held it out to her. “Hey, you wanna be my player 2?”
She blushed slightly, feeling her cheeks burn as the other two Crusaders chuckled.
“Um, that’s nice, but actually we thought maybe you could help out Turing Test today.”
“Huh? Turing Test?” He blinked and looked to his right to finally see the robot standing right next to him. He gasped but then broke into a broad grin. “Ohhh, cool, you brought your robot pal with you again!”
“It is nice to see you as well, Button Mash,” Turing replied. “I have previously wished to spend more time with you, as you are the one to first alert me to the word ‘robot,’ a term I now use to identify myself.”
“Well, what can I say?” he said, wearing a smug look. “I am pretty in the know.”
“Said the guy who didn’t even notice the robot standing next to him for a full minute,” Scootaloo muttered.
“Look, we might as well get right to the point,” Apple Bloom said. “Sweetie Belle here was wonderin’ if ya wanna teach Turing Test how to play video games.”
Button blinked and gave a sideways glance at Turing Test. “I don’t know,” he said uncertainly. “I was hoping to beat Spokey Dokey on level 10 today, and that was gonna take up most of my time.”
“Oh come on!” Scootaloo grunted, fluttering her wings to momentarily hover over him. “Just help us out, Button! At least you’ll be doing something useful instead of just wasting your entire allowance on this dumb game again!”
Button pouted, crossing his forelegs. “It is not dumb. And I’m not ‘wasting’ it! I can spend my allowance however I want.”
“Y-yeah, leave him alone, Scootaloo!” Sweetie said, stepping between the two. Turning to Button, she said, “Look, think of it this way: you’ll be the first pony to play video games with a robot ever! That would be pretty cool, don’t you think?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said quietly. Then his grin widened. “Yeah! Yeah, that sounds awesome!” He turned to face Turing Test. “Okay, Turing Test! You’re player two! Jump or dodge the obstacles and get to the top of the screen to hit Spokey Dokey in the face with the pie! Every two levels, they show a cutscene! I’ve never seen the last one on level 10, though.”
“Then hopefully we will be able to by working together,” Turing said.
“Maybe, but it’s pretty tough,” Button said. “We have to share power-ups, we both have to make it to the top, and if one of us dies, then we both have to restart the level.”
Turing’s ears went straight. “If one of us dies? Button Mash, I do not wish to play a game that may have such consequences.”
“No no no!” he yelled, smacking his face with his hoof as the Crusaders all chuckled. “I mean if your character dies! You get three lives, plus an extra one if you get 50,000 points. Here, watch me!”
He put the bit in the machine and began to play the first level. Turing Test watched intently as Button skillfully dodged bouncing hoops and ferocious lions and crossed obstacles with a trapeze until finally reaching the top of the level and touching a pixelated cream pie, causing it to launch into a sinister-looking clown’s face. (This was the titulary Spokey Dokey, as Button explained.)
“Okay, think you’ve got it?” Button asked.
“Affirmative,” she replied. “May I borrow a bit?”
His eyes went wide. “Y-you mean you didn’t bring your own?”
“I do not carry money, ordinarily. However, if you will provide me with one bit, then I am certain that I will not need a second.”
“Ooooh!” the Crusaders all said.
Even Button had to admire her confidence. “Okay then,” he said, passing her a coin. “Go ahead and put the coin in and press the Player 2 button and you’ll join the game!”
Turing Test did so. As the second level began, Turing’s character appeared at the bottom of the screen, opposite Button’s character. To Button’s surprise, though, Turing Test easily moved through the level, defeating enemies, dodging obstacles, and even leaving all the power-ups for Button. The two of them cleared the path to the top and easily completed the level.
“Whoa!” Button exclaimed as the simplistic cutscene played. “How’d you do that?”
“By observing you playing the first level, I was able to analyze the movements and patterns of obstacles as well as formulate an ideal strategy to avoid or defeat them. This level did introduce some new elements and a slight increase in speed, however, which seems to add to the challenge. I am beginning to understand why you enjoy this activity, Button Mash.”
Button grinned broadly, then turned back to the game with a fierce grin as the third level started. “In that case, let’s take down this clown!”
Sweetie Belle had been watching eagerly from the beginning, but as the levels increased in speed and intensity, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo became increasingly absorbed in the action of the game.
“Look out! That lion’s gonna get ya!” Apple Bloom yelled.
“Get the seltzer bottle!” Scootaloo cried, pointing at it on the screen.
“I know, I know!” Button shouted back, gritting his teeth as he rapidly hit the buttons and wiggled the joystick, trying to focus on the game.
Through it all, Turing Test stayed mostly silent, save for warnings or advising Button of her own plans to defeat the level. Though Button lost two of his lives and even Turing lost one, they both made it to the final level and, after several tense near-misses, finally managed to reach the top one last time.
“We did it!” Button hollered, leaping into the air, even embracing Turing Test as the Crusaders all cheered for them. “We did it, we did it, we did it! I finally saw the end of Spokey Dokey!”
“It seems to be asking for us to enter in our names, Button Mash,” Turing added, gesturing to the screen.
Indeed it was, adding to Button’s joy that they’d gotten the two highest scores on record.
“Thanks for playing with me!” he said warmly. Then he turned to Sweetie and the other Crusaders. “And thanks for bringing her! We should do this more often!”
“Y-yeah!” Sweetie said, smiling broadly. “That’d be great!”
“Absolutely!” Scootaloo said.
“I never cared much for this kinda thing,” Apple Bloom added, “but yer right: it’s actually pretty excitin’ once you get into it!”
“Button?” a high, feminine voice called. “Button, where are you, sweetie?”
Button sighed. “That’s my mom. I better go. But thanks for playing with me!” He grabbed his remaining bits and ran back down the alley, waving to them as he went.
“Well, that worked out pretty well,” Sweetie said.
“It was an enjoyable activity,” Turing Test said, “but we were not successful in our primary goal.” She turned to the side, showing her shiny metal flank, unbroken by any image whatsoever.
“No cutie mark, huh?” Apple Bloom said. “Well, I guess yer good at games, but maybe it ain’t yer special talent.”
“Well, how about something else?” Scootaloo asked. Her eyes went wide. “Oh, like racing!”
“But Scootaloo, as you will recall, I raced Rainbow Dash on two separate occasions. Though I showed great proficiency at those races, I did not receive a cutie mark by competing.”
“Wellll, maybe you could try scooter racing, like me?” she asked hopefully.
Turing shook her head. “I have examined your scooter and have determined that my weight would likely break such a device in half.”
Scootaloo closed her eyes and scratched her head in deep thought. “You might be right… but you’re so strong, maybe your special talent is something physical.” She opened her eyes, looking up at Turing. “Isn’t there something you think you might be good at physically?”
Turing tapped her chin. “I recently displayed prowess at breaking rocks and giving massages,” she offered.
“Well, heck, let’s try those next!”
Turing Test looked down at the hopeful Crusaders and gave them a nod. “Very well. Let us proceed.”
***
Turing Test stood before the pony lying on the masseuse’s table. She looked to her left to see Bulk Biceps next to her, likewise with a pony on a table before him. They both faced forward to see Aloe and Lotus, the local spa owners, standing before them.
“Now just watch Bulk Biceps here,” Aloe, the pink mare with blue hair, said to Turing Test. She glanced over and smiled weakly at Bulk Biceps, who grinned in response.
“And you,” Lotus, the blue mare with pink hair, said to Bulk Biceps, narrowing her eyes, “I hope you will not be getting carried away again, darling.”
“No problem!” Bulk exclaimed. As the two spa ponies left, he turned to face Turing Test. “You ready to do this, Turing Test?”
“Affirmative.”
The stallion on Bulk’s masseuse table sat up, eyeing him nervously. “Y’know, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…”
Bulk rolled his eyes. “Just relax, dude. I’m a professional,” he said, placing a hoof to his chest.
“Well… I guess that I could--”
“YOU’RE GONNA FEEL SO RELAXED, IT’LL BE LIKE YOUR STRESS GOT CRUSHED TO DUST AND BLOWN AWAY! YEEAAHH!!”
The stallion whimpered, and Bulk obliviously shoved him down and began patting and kneading his back.
Analyzing and extrapolating data… his technique seems excessively forceful. Recommended action: utilize techniques compared with what seemed effective with Maud Pie.
She looked down at the pony lying on the table. She was a pegasus mare with a grayish blue coat and pale bluish green mane. “Uh, are you sure you’re up to this?” she asked, turning to look at Turing.
“I am not certain I will be adequate, but I will not injure you. I have a high degree of control over my motor skills.”
“Well… Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash both vouch for you,” she said, lying back down. “By the way, my name’s Flitter. Nice to meet you, Miss Robot.”
“You may call me Turing Test,” she replied. “And it is nice to meet you as well. Initiating massage…”
Flitter tensed up a moment, but as Turing began, she let out a long sigh, and her body relaxed. Though Turing was cautious around the wings, a feature neither Maud nor Bulk’s client had, the massage went smoothly.
When it was over, Flitter stood up and moaned contentedly. “Wow… you’re actually pretty good at this!”
Turing’s ears lifted, and she looked to see that Bulk Biceps was also smiling at her, giving her a wink as his client staggered to his hooves. “You’re a natural, Turing Test!” he shouted.
“I am a… natural? Can you say that about a pony who is artificial?”
“Uh, I’m not sure,” he said, scratching his head.
“Well, all I know is that I feel much better!” Flitter said. “I’m gonna tell my sister Cloud Chaser about you!”
To Aloe and Lotus’s mutual delight, Flitter’s talking up of Turing Test’s abilities caused several more ponies to request a massage. A dozen more ponies came and left raving about one of the best massages they’d ever had at the spa. Turing even gave some pointers to Bulk Biceps about how he might soften his own technique, which he graciously accepted.
“Miss Toorink Test!” Lotus said, walking into the little massage room, “your little friends are back! They want to know if you have gotten your cutie mark.”
The Crusaders all smiled brightly as Turing stepped out from behind the masseuse’s table. However, their smiles faded when they saw that Turing’s flank remained blank.
“Well, don’t worry about that, Turing Test!” Apple Bloom said, holding up a hoof. “We found a bunch more ponies that said they’d let you try out some stuff to see if it’s yer special talent!”
“Acknowledged,” Turing said, following them out.
“Oh, a moment,” Lotus said, putting her hoof on Turing’s shoulder. “This is a little something to say thanks for the free publicity.” She held out a small sack of bits tied with a drawstring.
But Turing Test shook her head and held up a hoof. “That is not necessary. After all, you were doing a service for me by allowing me to test myself. You do not need to compensate me.”
“What? Oh no, darling, please there must be somethink we can do!”
Turing tapped her chin. “Perhaps you could offer a free service to my friends on their next visit?” she asked, gesturing to the three fillies, whose eyes lit up. (Well, save for Scootaloo, who merely pretended not to be excited.)
“Consider it done!” Lotus said.
She waved goodbye as Turing and the Crusaders moved on to their next task.
***
Turing and the Crusaders stood before the two mares. One was a yellow earth pony with a white mane and a pink hard hat. Next to her was a light brown unicorn with a white mane ,a wrench as a cutie mark, and a tool belt around her waist.
“So, lemme get this straight, Silver Spanner,” the yellow mare said to her unicorn companion, “this here robot’s gonna help us out?”
“That’s right, boss!” Silver said, nodding confidently. “I saw her race Rainbow Dash a while back! And I hear she’s super strong! And now the Crusaders here think she might be able to earn a cutie mark in demolition.”
The Crusaders all wore identical adorable grins. The yellow mare bit her lip and glanced over at Turing Test.
“I’m not so sure,” she said.
“Aw come on, Ambrosia,” Silver Spanner said, rolling her eyes. “This building has to go down anyway, and this way we won’t have to wait an extra day for the crane!”
Ambrosia sighed. “Alright, alright,” she said, putting up a hoof. “Then in that case, Miss Robot, here’s what I want ya ta do.”
Turing glanced at the building nearby. It was a three-story building with the windows broken and cleared out, the paint peeling, and the walls lined with cracks.
“This building’s gotta come down,” Ambrosia said, “but our crane’s already bein’ used for a different job. If ya think ya can take it down, that’d be great. Just try to keep it from gettin’ too spread out, or else we’ll have a lot harder time cleaning up the debris. Ya got that?”
“Affirmative,” Turing said, and began to approach the building.
“Come on, Turing!” Apple Bloom cheered.
“Yeah, show that building who’s boss!”
Turing gave a perfunctory glance at the building.
Potential structural weaknesses identified. Beginning stage one of demolition.
“Engaging U-Mode.” Her horn slid into place, and she fired several short blasts which took chunks out of the corners of the building. She then ran through the empty doorframe at the entrance to the old building.
“Switching to P-Mode,” she said, her voice echoing in the abandoned first floor of the abandoned edifice.
The other ponies gathered nearby heard the roar of jets and gasped as a series of loud crashed were heard, followed by the sound of splintering wood, before Turing rocketed through the roof of the building and into the sky. They then watched as she plunged back through the roof, causing clouds of dust and debris to burst from the open windows, as though it was exploding from the inside.
“Structural integrity sufficiently compromised. Switching to E-Mode.” She folded up her wings and let the pistons in her legs engage. She ran for the corners of the building and bucked each one mightily, cracking the support beams to where they started to bow out and the building began to shake and creak, giving a low, menacing rumble. Once she was satisfied that the building would take no more, she bucked one of the walls in the middle, causing it to crumble, then ran at the other wall, exiting the building by smashing right through it.
The building wobbled and teetered before finally collapsing straight down, the roof, floors, and walls crashing down on top of each other like a stack of pancakes. A cloud of dust radiated out, but the building itself was a neat square-shaped pile, perfect for picking up in one easy location.
“Heyyy, how about that!” Ambrosia laughed.
“I told you, boss!” Silver Spanner said.
Turing Test walked over to them, still covered in dust and dirt from the debris cloud.
“Way to go, Turing!” Apple Bloom cheered. “Ya smashed that buildin’ like it was nothin’!”
“It merely required the proper application of force to several key points to cause it to collapse in an orderly fashion,” Turing said, shaking the dust from her mane. She looked down at her flank, which was likewise covered with dust. She wiped the dust away to reveal the same blank flank she’d had when she’d started.
“Aw dang,” Apple Bloom sighed, lowering her head and ears. The other Crusaders followed suit. “I really thought we had somethin’ that time!”
“Sorry ya didn’t get a cutie mark from it,” Ambrosia said, placing her hoof on Turing’s shoulder. “But just the same, that was nice work! Could we call ya again next time we’ve got a job like this?”
Turing looked down at the hoof on her shoulder, then back to Ambrosia. “Affirmative. I would be happy to help you again in the future.”
“Ha! Ya know, yer alright, Miss Robot!” Ambrosia said, looking to Silver Spanner, who was nodding eagerly in agreement.
Turing looked to the three Crusaders. “What activity shall we try next?” she asked.
The three Crusaders exchanged a look, then all assumed mutual smiles.
“If you ain’t ready to give up,” Apple Bloom began.
“--Then neither are we!” Scootaloo exclaimed, finishing Apple Bloom’s sentence.
“Besides,” Sweetie Belle added, “we’re experts in trying to get a cutie mark! And we’re just getting started! Right?”
“Right!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exclaimed in response.
“Very well,” Turing said, giving a short nod. “What else shall we try?”
***
“Ugh!” Sweetie Belle groaned, tossing her head back dramatically. “I can’t believe you all got us kicked out of the movie theater!”
“Hey, it’s not our fault!” Scootaloo shot back.
Turing and the Crusaders were walking back through the town after their latest attempt at getting a cutie mark. Sweetie Belle was leading the pack as the other three trailed behind. At Scootaloo’s protest, she stopped in her tracks and turned to glare at her.
“W-well,” Apple Bloom said, looking away, “I mean, we were just tryin’ to get Turing a cutie mark fer bein’ a movie critic.”
“I did enjoy the one movie that I had seen before. I thought reviewing films would be interesting.” She tilted her head. “Was my technique flawed?”
Sweetie Belle puffed out her cheeks, practically shaking. “You three talked through the movie for half an hour before the usher finally told us to leave!” she shrieked. “We just got our cutie marks and you’re acting like a bunch of three-year-olds!”
Turing raised a hoof.
“What?” Sweetie asked.
“I am less than a year old, if that makes a difference.”
“That-- ugh, I don’t know!”
“Aw, c’mon, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said, “don’t be sore at us. After all, that movie was pretty bad. Makin’ fun of it with Turing was actually a lot of fun.”
“Many elements of the film did indeed seem to lack plausibility,” Turing said, giving a nod. “The need for attacking the criminals’ hideout without a warrant and without sufficient backup was not made clear. Furthermore, I cannot understand why the central character’s partner was a talking cat named Sergeant Murpaw.”
“Because cats can’t talk?” Scootaloo asked.
“No. The ability to talk would at least qualify for some of an officer’s duties, but I am uncertain that a feline would be able to pass the physical assessment for law enforcement. Furthermore, his repeated insistence that he was ‘too old for this kibble’ was nonsensical, as there was no kibble present at any time that he mentioned such a thing.”
“Oh yeah!” Apple Bloom laughed. “An’ what was with the good guy? They were really tryin’ too hard to make ‘im into some sorta macho action hero type!”
Scootaloo started laughing as well. “Yeah, remember all the names we started calling him when we couldn’t remember his character’s real name?”
“Oh, like Steel Fetlock!”
“Grunt Strongjaw!” Scootaloo shot back, assuming the most faux-masculine voice the little filly could muster.
“You guys,” Sweetie Belle sighed.
“Smash Logtoss!” Apple Bloom said, continuing obliviously.
“Chunk McRapidgallop!”
“Hard Ironbarrel!”
“Stomp Blasthooves!”
“Toss Bucklots!”
“Thick Sidesaddle!”
“Rip Flankchest!”
“Hay Arnold!”
“Ram Blastkick!”
“Vin Diesel!”
The three fillies all gawked at Turing Test. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom started chuckling as Sweetie Belle stared on in open-mouthed disbelief.
“Really, Turing Test?!” Sweetie groaned. “You too?!”
“My apologies,” she said, lowering her ears. “It looked like fun.”
“It kinda was!” Apple Bloom said, earning a nod of agreement from Scootaloo. “Heck, it sure was more fun than actually payin’ attention to that dumb movie. Maybe we should do that more often: just watch some bad movies an’ make jokes while other ponies watch us!”
Sweetie Belle turned her incredulous look to Apple Bloom. “Seriously?!” she squeaked. “Who would want to watch some ponies and a robot just watching a movie and making jokes about it?”
Sweetie massaged her temples. The day had been jam-packed with activities, but still no cutie mark. They’d practiced gardening with Golden Harvest and June Bug, flower arrangement with Lily and Roseluck and Daisy, grape stomping with Amethyst Star and her little sister Dinky Hooves, along with subsequently making punch with, naturally, Berry Punch, and even cloud busting with Thunderlane and Blossomforth.
“It’s so weird,” Sweetie remarked, tapping her chin.
“What is?” Scootaloo asked.
“It’s just that, well… you know how the three of us kept trying different things to get our cutie marks?”
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom nodded.
“I hate to say it, but when we tried it, we really weren’t very good at any of them.”
“Oh!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, her eyes going wide as she picked up on Sweetie’s train of thought. “But with Turing Test, she’s actually been good at just about everything!”
Turing’s eyes constricted slightly. “I am able to record and precisely imitate actions that I see in most cases. This is simply one of my normal abilities as a robot.”
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “Well, then that’s not really a ‘special’ talent, is it?”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shook their heads.
“Then you are saying that since a robot is innately able to master most skills, then those skills are not special, and therefore undeserving of a cutie mark?” She lowered her head. “Then perhaps it is impossible for me to earn a cutie mark, even if such a thing is physically possible.”
The other crusaders all let their ears droop as they looked down in defeat.
“Oh, wait wait wait!” Sweetie Belle cried, jerking her head back up, her eyes sparkling with sudden inspiration. “Even if she’s good at all those things, maybe she can still get a cutie mark in something if it’s special to her!”
“Ohhhh!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exclaimed in unison.
“We’ve suggested all these ideas because we thought Turing would be good at them,” Sweetie continued, closing her eyes and raising her head as if lecturing, “but maybe she could learn a skill that she wanted to learn! Something that was fun and interesting for her personally!”
“Great idea, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo cried.
“Yeah, that just might work!” Apple Bloom added. She turned to face Turing Test, and the others did the same. “So, how ‘bout it, Turing Test? Is there some kinda thing you always wanted to learn?”
Turing shifted her ears asymmetrically. “Scanning memory…”
She recalled the time she had gone out into Ponyville attempting to stimulate feelings of affection by hugging other ponies. That day had not gone well, but she recalled how, right before Fine Print had lured her away, she’d been watching some foals listening to a record. And she’d heard some of her friends humming small tunes as they worked, including Spike, Fluttershy, and Rarity. Maud didn’t sing, but she had shown Turing how different rocks sometimes resonated with different sounds when struck. And Pinkie did seem fond of her own silly songs, as well. And yet, Turing had never really spent time listening to or learning about music, despite its prevalence in her friends’ lives.
“Potential skill identified,” she said after a few moments of scanning. “I would like to learn about music.”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo immediately covered their ears with their hooves as a high-pitched squeal of delight erupted from Sweetie Belle!
“Oh my gosh, that’s great, Turing!” she exclaimed, bouncing up and down with excitement. “And we’re in luck! It’s just a block away!” she added, and took off running.
Turing Test only hesitated a moment before giving chase. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom followed behind.
“Hey, hold on a second, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo shouted. “What’s just a block away? Just where the heck are we going?!”
Sweetie Belle looked over her shoulder with a gleaming smile. “The Ponyville Musician’s Guild! Turing can learn about music from the finest musicians in town!”
Turing felt a sudden surge of eagerness and even excitement. Before that day, she’d never considered the possibility of having a cutie mark. But now, she realized, as the faint sounds of music became audible, she was eager to pursue a future where her shiny metal flank would shine with a brand new emblem of her own unique talent.
To be continued...
