Our lunch lasted thirty minutes or so, and the conversation never really picked up after I returned to the table. I had never liked small talk, and I had had my fill of the craziness associated with magic. Thankfully, it seemed Princess Celestia understood that I needed some quiet to digest the unbelievable facts I had been told. Still, it exhausted my reserve of willpower to not simply freak out.
After lunch, which was delicious, the princess offered me a choice of tea or coffee. I had always started my day with coffee, so I didn’t decline, but when she suggested we head outside for our brews, I hesitated. I felt safer when there was some shadow around me instead of standing in the firing line, so to speak. In the end, I agreed to go outside, as I craved fresh air.
We walked to a glass door that led outside to a picturesque sight. A lush, green lawn was trimmed to perfection, interspersed by aisles of gaudy flowers of every conceivable kind and beautifully carved statues of ponies, with a hedge maze in the distance. However, the best thing was the air, with a fresh, cool breeze blowing and mixing in with the fragrance of the flowers. Above us was an almost spotless blue sky, the sun shining down and a few white clouds drifting far above.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked me with a knowing smile as I stared.
“Wow…” I mumbled in return.
Hoisting my jaw back up, I followed the princess, the guards still following close behind us. I couldn’t help but stare at everything we passed. While I recognized some of the plants, there was a significant amount I had never seen before and could only guess at their purpose. Even something as simple as the sky was quite startling, as I had never seen it so clear before. Back home, there was a factory a few miles away that rendered the skies grey even on clear days.
However, when I looked at Celestia, her coat seemed to almost glow in the sunlight. Not that it hurt my eyes—she was just radiant. Beautiful, truth be told. As we strolled along the lawn, I noticed guards patrolling the garden in pairs and what looked like gardeners tending to flowerbeds and bushes. There were plenty of stares directed at me, but when I met their eyes, they suddenly found their work much more interesting.
Another thing I noticed concerned my hooves. Walking on the grass felt pleasant, natural even, with the tiny blades of grass tickling the soft mass at the centre of my hooves. Nature’s acupuncture, perhaps? I was somewhat concerned about how easy I had adapted to them as well, even with how humanity, as a species, had done so countless times in the past.
Princess Celestia led me through the garden until we came to a gazebo, a wooden structure painted white with light blue drapes hanging on all sides. Walking up the three steps, I stepped inside and saw a small round table with several soft cushions around it. We both sat down opposite each other. Before either of us could say anything, a servant came in, levitating a silver tray next to her and placing it on the table, leaving with a slight bow.
Ornate cups, a teapot and coffeepot, teaspoons and sugar, along with honey and lemon slices in small bowls were on the tray. The princess poured herself some tea and coffee for me. A few moments passed as we sipped our beverage, not saying anything. It felt relaxing sitting there, not feeling any pressure to begin a conversation, the wind ruffling my hair, the birds chirping around us. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt calm. Though my ever anxious thoughts loomed threateningly in the background of my mind, I managed to push them away for now.
After a sip of coffee, I placed the cup back on the table, but my trembling hands made the cup rattle audibly on the saucer. I noticed the princess glance at me and the cup from the corner of my eye. She heard that; she must have. I tried to ignore the shaking, pretending it was a human thing. Well, it was normal for addicts going through withdrawal.
“Magnus?” Celestia said quietly, though I cringed inside. “I think it is time you and I had a talk. You must have many questions by now. Ask what you will, and I will answer as best I can.”
Questions? Oh yes, I had plenty of them. The first question was the obvious one. Just managing to go outside had had me quaking, but the garden had successfully distracted me as we walked.
“The sun and the moon, did they always need someone to raise them?”
“For as long as written records date back,” she replied. “The oldest written records I’ve ever read were more than twelve thousands years old and were chiselled in stone by an early unicorn tribe. They too raised the sun and moon.”
Twelve thousand years—that was a long time. Even the great pyramids of Giza were younger, at just over four thousand years old. That would also mean that this pony civilization was extremely old as well, much older than any human civilization.
I merely nodded and pondered what next to ask her. Seeing the guards standing some distance away, I wondered what exactly my status here was. “Am I a prisoner?” I asked bluntly, staring into my cup and awaiting her answer, dreading her reply.
“No, you are not. You are a very special guest of my sister and myself.” She smiled as she got comfortable on the cushion, curling her legs underneath herself.
“And those guys?” I gestured towards the guards.
“I assigned a group of guards to look after you this morning. They are here to protect you, and should you decide to wander outside the castle, they will prevent you from doing so."
“So I am a prisoner then.” I felt my stomach sink at those words.
“No, you are free to go wherever you want within the castle and the grounds, although some areas are off-limits. The guards will tell you, in that case. Understand that the reason I don’t want you to leave is because I am not sure how my subjects would react to you suddenly wandering the streets of Canterlot.”
Panic, torches, pitchforks, chased to the top of a windmill before it was set ablaze by the ponies? Hey, I had seen Frankenstein. Still, the guards and staff at the castle hadn’t given cause for concern today, other than the stares.
“The guards and servants didn’t seem to mind me that much.”
“During the night, my sister called her guards and staff to the throne room and informed them of your presence and what you are. I did the same with my retainers this morning. Rest assured that they will treat you as a guest of the Crown. We did not inform them about your ancestry, though.”
So I was no longer a secret. “How many knows about me?”
“There are over three hundred employed as workers within the castle, along with six hundred guards stationed here,” she answered.
Well… shit. “And you expect them not to tell anybody about me? More than nine hundred ponies knowing that I walk around here and deciding to keep my presence a secret?”
“Yes.” She sipped her tea and continued talking while refilling her cup. “I trust every single pony employed in the castle. From the highest ranking officer to the maids, I place my complete trust in them, just as they trust me as their ruler. However, the public is aware that a hearing took place yesterday. I have already released a statement announcing that we were mistaken about you, but I left out a few discreet details. Furthermore, the nobles that attended your hearing have all been sworn to secrecy.”
I couldn’t say I knew how things worked around here, but Celestia’s explanation seemed somewhat reasonable, though I wasn’t sure about her trusting her staff that much. Then again, it’s not like I had any real say in the matter.
‘Let’s go with a little trust for now.’
My next question was obvious. “What happened to me? My feet,” I pointed to my hooves and the fur covering them, “and my hands; why are they larger, and why are my fingers thicker? Why do I have pointy ears? Not to mention this.” I gestured to the horn on my forehead. “What happened? Why wasn’t I born with these? Why did they appear now?”
“You were born with them, but according to Star Swirl, it seems the lack of magic in your world prevented your half-magical nature from revealing itself.” Her horn began to glow, and her golden aura coalesced into an orb that levitated from her horn and settled right in front of me. “All creatures of our world have magic within them, from the largest of dragons to the smallest insect. We are born with it, breathe it, live with it. It is our nature. Your world, with almost no magic at all, seems to have enough to sustain life, but not enough to reveal your heritage.”
I carefully touched the golden orb, feeling its warmth enveloping my hand. “What do you mean?”
“All creatures of our world use magic on a daily basis. Pegasi use their magic when flying and when shaping the weather. Unicorns use very little magic unless they are casting a spell. Earth ponies use magic the most, as magic gives them great strength and stamina, and aids them in matters of agriculture.” The princess paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. The golden orb dissolved into the air, briefly looking like swirling coloured water.
“As Star Swirl said, the true form of his daughter was revealed when she was given an infusion of magic. Since she was not exposed to any stronger form of magic, her body took the shape of her mother's people. Now that you have a permanent connection to magic, your true form has finally been revealed.”
So, I had always been like this. My stomach churned at the thought. Most families had hidden skeletons in their closets, but I was pretty sure no one could match my family’s secret.
“Of course, that was merely theorized by Star Swirl, and we do not know if it is actually true. Perhaps in the future, we can gain some new insight to how your family’s secret remained hidden for so long,” Celestia continued when I didn’t reply. I wanted to explore that topic further, but decided to push it aside for now.
Another question maybe? I decided upon an obvious one, though perhaps the most important to me currently. I emptied my coffee cup and set it down on the saucer, eliciting another rattle. Steeling myself, I hoped to hear the words that would mean my salvation.
“Is there a way for me to get back home?”
Celestia turned her gaze away, staring into the garden at some unknown point before releasing a deep sigh and meeting my imploring gaze. “I don’t know.” My heart felt like it was pumping lead as my mind processed those words. “Portal magic is known to us, but it is notoriously difficult to master. The portal that brought you here has yet to be examined. I am in the process of selecting a team of highly qualified experts to visit the area where you were found. With a bit of luck and expertise, we will find residual magic to examine.”
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, and I frowned. “Princess Celestia,” I began and took a deep breath. “You can move the sun. I didn’t believe it at first, but now I do. That must require a lot of magic, but somehow you can’t magic up a portal back to Earth?”
“Magic is not as easy as you believe, my little human.” She refilled my cup and continued, “I am one of the most powerful magic users on this planet, and I know tens of thousands of spells. However, portal magic is different in that it requires two individuals to open one, one at each portal opening.”
My confused look told her what she needed to know. “Think of it like this. Imagine that there are two different places, one unicorn at one location and another unicorn at the other. To create a portal, they must have the other place in mind and cast the portal spell at exactly the same time. To add to this complication, portal spells drain magic rapidly and can leave both unicorns suffering from exhaustion within seconds. Do you understand now? To create a portal to Earth, one unicorn or another powerful magic user must be there to cast the spell while another here casts it at the same time.”
I brought my hand up to my forehead and wiped away some sweat. Yeah, I understood. I understood that my chances of going home were looking increasingly bleak. Or maybe not?
“Then how was the first portal created?”
She brought her hoof up to her chin, seemingly pondering the question. It didn’t take her long. “I have seen magic act without a unicorn or magic user before, but that only occurs in places where the natural flow of magic is disturbed or altered in some way. However, there can be a number of causes—certain crystals can alter the casting of magic, and in some places, magic can act on its own volition. Star Swirl said your world did have magic, but that it was weak yet maturing, like an apple growing on a tree. The portals are growth spurts. However, it may take thousands of years before the magic of Earth reaches maturity.”
I nodded slowly and sipped my coffee. Half an explanation was better than none. Perhaps there was a chance for me to get back home, to get back to what I was familiar with. My house, my job, my friends—simply throwing everything away was out of the question. I had worked too hard to let it all go to waste. I would find a way.
But what would happen if I got back home? The portal might spit me out into the sea, and what then? Swim for God knew how many miles back to shore? If by some miracle I was found by a passing ship or airplane, what would happen then? I’d be swamped with questions of where I had been. How the hell would I even explain the changes to my body? Would I be ostracized because of them? Would people see me as a freak or an alien? Maybe the religious population would only see the horn and hooves as a sign that I was the Devil, and would attempt to kill me as a way to buy themselves a place in whatever religious afterlife they had read about and chosen to believe in?
“Do you have anything else you wish to ask about?” Celestia’s gentle prodding brought me out of my increasingly morbid thoughts. I had one more question, one that popped into my head now and then, one that seemed to contradict the story told by that old unicorn.
“You knew Star Swirl, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Luna and I knew him very well,” she said with a hint of nostalgia in her voice. “We met him long ago, before we became the princesses of Equestria. We were younger and travelled the world back in those days. During a trip to the Unicorn Kingdom, we visited the capitol of Magespire in order to learn more about magic, and there we met a somewhat eccentric unicorn.
“Back then, Star Swirl was quite different from the one you saw in the throne room. He was eccentric and his head was constantly in the clouds, dreaming of grand ideas and thirsting for magic and adventure. It’s no wonder we took a liking to him. His skill with magic was unmatched, yet he did not wish to be praised as many great spell casters did back then.”
The small smile that was etched on her face seemed poignant. It seemed as though she had fond memories of him.
“For reasons unknown to Luna and myself, he asked to accompany us on our journey. We didn’t mind his company, as he was quite the entertaining character. For weeks, we travelled into lands both uncharted and explored. Through thick forests and scorching deserts, we walked across the land, learning about many types of magic.
“However, we kept a secret from him. Luna and I both wore clothing to hide our wings, for alicorns were unknown to ponykind at the time, and we did not wish to be discovered. We were afraid that if somepony found out, they would see us as… something we were not. However, Star Swirl found out when he peeped on us during a bath in a river.” I swore her cheeks reddened when she said that.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. I honestly had not seen that one coming. Imagining the old unicorn hiding in a bush with the ensuing heavy breathing was amusing. Even the princess laughed a little.
“He was surprised at first, seeing that we had both wings and horns. After he had recovered from Luna bucking him into a tree, he immediately began questioning us on what we were. Once we confessed the truth, it did not change his opinion of us, though he did seem to have a particular interest in our wings. He would constantly ask questions about how clouds felt and the experience of flying. However, he never revealed our secret to anypony.”
Celestia exhaled, seemingly caught in the memories of the past. “And so began a friendship that lasted a lifetime. Our adventures together, traveling the world, learning about magic and befriending many creatures along the way—we certainly had our fair share of fun.”
“Sounds like you were sweet on him.” Did I say that out loud? Oh boy…
She gave me a quirky smile, though she did not respond to that statement. Perhaps they had a history? “For nearly fifteen years, we crossed the world together and saw many wonderful things. We travelled far and wide, to distant lands and secluded islands. It was truly an adventure.” Her mood slowly changed, her smile disappearing. “However, as all things do, Star Swirl’s time with us came to an end.” Even her tone changed when she spoke, a lingering note of sadness entering her voice.
“Star Swirl’s father passed away, and he was forced to return home to look after his family. We joined him, of course, and consoled him as best we could. It took him months to overcome his loss, as he and his father were very close. It was during this time that he met his future herd mate, a lovely mare named Diamond Constellation. She was a talented astronomer, kind and very beautiful, and soon she had captured his heart. They married one year after they met, and Luna and I understood that he wanted to focus on family and a career as a teacher and scholar.
“We bade our farewells to Star Swirl and continued our journey, but always returned to visit him when we were near. Each time, something had changed: he grew his iconic beard, then gained a personal student named Clover the Clever. He grew even more powerful, as did his talent for creating spells, and he became the headmaster of the School of Magic. His adventuring days completed, we would instead reminisce about that period of time.”
She looked pained now, as though the effort of recalling ancient memories was taking its toll. “The last time we saw him was after his lead mare had passed away. He would cry himself to sleep every night, burying himself in work and avoiding contact with almost everypony. The only ones he would speak to at length was Luna and myself. He mentioned that he wanted to travel again, to see more of the world, perhaps even sail to the griffon kingdoms in search of unknown magic to study.”
Celestia's eyes glimmered, moist with tears, yet she held them back as she stared into the teacup. Slowly, her eyes found their way back to me. “Two months later, Luna and I found ourselves in a tiny village near the border to the earth pony lands when we heard the news: Star Swirl the Bearded was missing, the ship that carried him gone. We looked for him for many years, searching islands near the shipping lanes and even going to the seven kingdoms of the griffons, hoping for a trace of him. We never found anything.” She tried to smile, but it faltered and died on her lips. “And now, after so much time has passed… we know where he went. Thanks to you, Magnus, we know.”
What could I say? ‘Hey, no problem?’ There was really nothing I could tell her. With how muddled my mind felt at the moment, I simply nodded and took a sip of my coffee, averting my eyes from hers.
The story was good though, even better knowing that it was based on actual events. I had never turned down a good tale, even the farfetched ones fishermen used to tell of the one that got away. However, hearing Celestia tell me that she and Luna was there with him made me want to ask her another question, one that a man should never ask a female. In my own defence, I would say that curiosity got the best of me.
“Since you and your sister knew him, then I guess both of you must be over fifteen hundred years old? N-Not that you look old or anything, I mean…” I sighed while resisting the urge to slap myself. “I’m curious, okay?”
“Why thank you. I try to take care of myself.” She laughed lightly, the despondency that had lingered on her face vanishing.
‘I think I just made a move on a magical pony goddess princess. This withdrawal is just messing me up more and more. Control, control… Still, they do look young, though. How is it that I can identify their approximate ages just by looking at them? Is it because they are intelligent creatures, or is it because they have several human-like qualities? Is it perhaps that I... I have some pony in myself as well?’
Celestia assumed a more serious demeanour. “You are quite right, however. Luna and I are both quite old. We are in fact immortal, due to our alicorn nature.” I did not dispute her age. With them being aliens, they might have a lifespan that would make a human lifespan seem like a minute or two.
“However, there is one thing you should know. Star Swirl was on Earth for fifteen hundred years, but on Equus, he was gone for approximately five thousand years.”
My eyes widened at that. “What? How?”
“He theorized that the portal altered time itself, shifting the flow of time and possibly making time run faster or slower. Thus, when he returned with you, more time had passed on Equus than it had on Earth.”
I’d be the first to admit that time travel, paradoxes, and stuff like that made my head spin. I didn’t consider myself stupid or anything, but that sort of science eluded my understanding.
“So… if I go back, I might end up in a different era?”
Celestia hesitated for a moment before answering, “I believe so, yes.”
Well, that was just great! With the shitty luck, I’d been having recently, I might just end up in the Dark Ages! I might make a decent roast at the stake when the religious fanatics got a hold of me. I might end up in Pangaea—I’d probably make a decent meal for a dinosaur. Best case scenario, I ended up at the end of time, when Earth was just a barren rock floating through space, awaiting the sun to go supernova.
I sighed and rested my head in my hands. My situation seemed hopeless, no matter which direction my thoughts headed. Maybe there really was a God, and he had a fat, throbbing, hate-boner for me. My grandfather's advice about logic? Yeah, that didn’t apply here.
“Magnus, I have a request to ask of you,” I heard Celestia say. Her serious demeanour had changed to one of concern. No doubt she could tell what my current mood was.
“What is it?” I muttered.
“It’s about the staff. The horn is a part of Star Swirl, and I would be grateful if you would grant me the staff. He does not have a proper grave here in Equestria, but with his horn, we can finally lay his remains to rest.”
“Do as you want with it. I never want anything to do with it,” I replied bluntly with a bit of venom that was intended. Celestia didn’t seem to mind my rudeness.
“Thank you,” she replied, sounding relieved. “There is also something else I wanted to tell you.”
I simply stared at her and waited. This would be awesome, I could tell.
She once again adopted a serious demeanour. “Star Swirl told us of your medicine and your dependence on it.”
‘Called it.’
“I get the feeling he told you everything about me. Isn’t it better if you ask me something he didn’t tell you? I knew that bearded bastard told about my life like I was some kind of campfire story!” I muttered through gritted teeth
“Please calm down. I did not mean to offend you. I merely wished to help,” she said reassuringly.
“How?”
“By helping you overcome your addiction. This morning, I met with my personal physician who recommended a specialist from Manehattan skilled in withdrawal treatment. As it happens, that specialist is here in Canterlot as we speak, attending a medical conference. With your permission, I would like for him to help you.”
Was she for real? Offering aid just like that? What was her motive? No one offered anything without expecting a return, no matter the extent.
And Manehattan? Canterlot? Damn strange names.
“Why?” I asked as I stared at her, trying to find her angle. “Why do you want to help me?”
“Because it is the right thing to do,” she replied simply. “Is the help I offer you so strange to you? Does the concept of kindness feel alien to you?”
“No one offers help like that out of the blue.”
“When Star Swirl told his story yesterday, I understood what he wanted. He wished for you to live your life free of pain. Luna and I intend to do what we can to help you in any way we can. Providing you with the medical attention you need is a small matter.”
“And you would do that out of sheer kindness?”
“It is how I treat all my little ponies. I help them, give them advice, protect them from harm. Truly, you do not understand the full concept of kindness.”
I don’t bother arguing with her. I understood kindness completely. My friends had always been there for me, helping me in whatever way they could. From when I was a kid to a few days before I left, I could depend on them. Why, then, did I suspect anything different from her? I knew part of it was because I barely knew her, but it didn’t fully explain why.
It didn’t matter. By tomorrow, I’d be in rough shape anyway. I was barely able to keep a coherent thought in my mind before it slipped away, and I’d noticed my trembling had gotten worse from this morning. My muscles and joints continued to ache, and I felt feverish. Could I overcome my addiction alone? To simply force my way through it all, to be unbreakable? Would I be able to withstand the pain that would no doubt wrack my body and mind in the days to come? I couldn’t do so before; I doubted I could now. My last attempt had almost ended my life.
Now, there was no medicine to fall back on, or at least I assumed so. I wondered if they had anything like my painkillers here, and if they did, should I continue taking them? The most important thing was that I no longer had any use for them, as my headaches hadn’t returned. Where there was once a constant throbbing in my head that felt like it was about to cave in on itself, there was now magic that soothed and calmed. I wondered what it would feel like when my withdrawal symptoms had passed.
“I’m afraid…” I finally said in a low voice.
“What is there to fear?” Celestia leaned forward, trying to make eye contact with me as I stared into my almost drained coffee cup.
“The treatment." I pursed my lips, trying to focus as a bout of dizziness struck me. "It’ll be hard for me. I don’t… I don’t know what’ll happen to me.”
Lifting my eyes from the table, I found Celestia’s large pink eyes gazing at me, filled with compassion. “Fear can be a powerful enemy. One must be willing to stand up to it, for that is the only path to defeating it. I will not force the treatment on you, but I will encourage you to do so.”
To face fears—how could I have forgotten? That was a lesson that had been imparted to me so many years ago by most important person to have shaped my life. I could feel the sincerity of her word, could sense that she had stood up to her share of fears and conquered them all. Her words were certainly backed up by experience, I could tell it.
What other choice did I have? This was as good as it was going to get for me. I needed to take that first step, in more ways than one. “Okay then, I’ll do it,” I answered with a weak smile.
The way Celestia smiled was as though she wanted to compete with the sun to see who was more radiant. “Good, very good. This is an excellent first step. Know this—Luna and I will be with you every step of the way to aid you.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it,” I replied sincerely. I truly appreciated the gesture. To do this alone would have been so much worse, but to have someone there who would back me up every step of the way, even if they were strangers and pony aliens… No one could put a price on that type of support.
“Now then, with that out of the way,” she emptied her teacup and placed it back on the table, “is there anything else you wish to ask about?”
I scratched my head. Was there anything else? Having exhausted all the more pertinent questions concerning my immediate future here, perhaps I could get a few answers concerning the ponies themselves and their culture. Where should I start? Ah yes.
“Well, I did have a few other questions.” She nodded for me to continue. “About your flank…”