In retrospect, I was glad to have extracted that promise from Princess Luna to not look into my dreams without permission. The night after my conversation with Twilight regarding human mating, families, and marriage, I’d experienced some rather… enjoyable dreams involving me, a bunch of girls in swimsuits, a large amount of whipped cream, and a bouncy castle. The dream had also been in slow motion, which gave me plenty of time to take in the details.
For breakfast, we were currently munching on the excellent French toast Spike had made, although they called it Prench toast after the country of origin. This was supposed to be the last day I spent with my teachers. Next week, I’d mostly be on my own, putting into practice what I’d learnt around Ponyville. The princesses were coming from Canterlot tomorrow to check on my progress, and I had to admit that things had been going smoothly, especially since none of my worst fears had materialized. It felt invigorating somehow, feeling so welcome in such a strange society, and I was looking forward to the next challenge.
After breakfast, we headed out of the castle. I looked around, but a customary sight was nowhere to be seen.
“That’s strange,” I commented while walking down the steps from the front door.
“What is?” Twilight asked.
“Pinkie. She isn’t here.”
Twilight and Spike looked around as well. “Now that you mention it, it is strange. She’s been here every morning.”
“Maybe she’s got something else planned?” Spike suggested.
Considering that idea, I found it rather believable. I mean, she’d done nothing but surprise me every damn day, but I guessed that even Pinkie had her limits. Maybe—
“Surprise hug!”
A pink ball of fur that smelled of sugar flew out of a nearby bush, followed by a war cry. “Weeeeh!” She hit me like a wrecking ball right on my chest, sending me tumbling backwards until I lay flat on the ground with her forelegs around my chest, hind legs around my waist, and my face full of pink hair. Pretty sure I saw a balloon in the pinkness for a split second.
“It’s an alternative to hugging the sadness away,” Pinkie happily declared, nuzzling my neck while I gasped for air. “Surprise hugs; hug the sadness before it can escape. That way, sadness won’t be sad and can become happiness.”
Then again, I could be wrong.
***
“Looks like Rainbow got an early start today,” Twilight commented while we made our way towards the park. I glanced up to see a nearly cloudless sky.
“I remember being told that Rainbow is a weather pony.” No sooner had I said that when a rainbow-coloured streak shot across the sky, colliding into the remaining puffy clouds and destroying them on impact. “She’s in charge of the weather, then?”
“Along with fifteen other pegasi. Rainbow is part of the weather crew in Ponyville and the surrounding area. They maintain the weather, adjust it according to demand, and break up wild clouds from the Everfree Forest,” Twilight explained. “If I know Rainbow Dash, she’ll come to the park to practise after clearing the skies or to take a nap.”
While we walked, I noted the speeds Rainbow Dash maintained as she destroyed the clouds with ease. Twists and turns, loops and barrel rolls, her speed was impressive, bordering impossible considering the fact that she lacked a jet engine strapped to her back. The G-forces pushing and pulling on her body must have been greater than what a Formula 1 driver or even a fighter jet pilot was subjected to. How did she even remain conscious?
“Rainbow!” Twilight shouted, waving a hoof at the speedster in the sky. Rainbow flew headfirst into a cloud, hooves stretched out in front of her. Only after the last cloud was gone did she turn towards the ground, spotting us. She went into a dive straight towards us, with a speed that at first was impressive, but when she showed no signs of slowing down, I became nervous. For a second, I considered heading for cover; if she collided with any of us, we’d be dead on impact. Another thought crossed my mind: so would she.
Luckily, Rainbow had everything under control, as at the last second, she pulled up, sending a blast of air right at us. Two seconds later and she would have met her maker.
“Gotcha!” she exclaimed with a tomboyish snigger, touching down behind us. She took one look at us and broke down into more laughter. Spike and I didn’t get it until we turned to Twilight, or more specifically, her hair. Honestly, Pinkie’s wild mane couldn’t hold a candle to Twilight’s. Rarity would probably say that twigs and leafs were too bold a choice for mane decoration.
“You look hilarious, Twi. Hey, Spike, hey, Magnus,” Rainbow finally managed to say after her bout of laughter came to an end.
“Rainbow Dash.” Twilight smoothened out her mane, removing the arboreal debris. “Was that really necessary?”
“Yeah, gotta show the big guy what I can do,” she replied proudly as she looked to me. “What do you think? Awesome, huh?”
“Yeah,” I replied with a nod. “That was pretty cool. Also, how’re you able to keep conscious when you pull off those G’s? I mean, I’m not an expert at flying, but from what I saw, you should have fainted a few times.” Honestly, if Rainbow was a human, her brain would be pouring out her ears by now.
“Heh, I’m a pegasus—we’re built for flying.” Rainbow shot me a cocky grin. “A few G’s any old pegasus can easily take, but with my kinda training, I’m waaay tougher.”
Well, if experienced fighter pilots could, I guessed a natural born flier could as well.
However, I wondered about another thing as well. Rainbow was not the first pegasus I’d seen; the Royal Guard up in Canterlot had several in their ranks. What little I knew of birds surmised that the wing to body-weight ratio of pegasi didn’t add up. Their wings should be much larger and wider to carry them.
“Hey, Rainbow, I’ve a question.”
“Already? Sheesh, you’re a fast one.” She spread a wing and began adjusting a few feathers not aligned the same way as the rest. I didn’t even know pegasi preened their feathers, and to be honest, it looked a bit weird when a pony did it.
“How are you able to fly? Aren’t your wings a bit small to carry your body? I guess that things might be different here, but if you were born on Earth, you shouldn’t be able to fly.”
Rainbow spat out a feather, then ruffled her wings in one trembling motion while a shudder went down her back. “What? I couldn’t?! What the hay kinda world is Land anyway?”
“It’s actually called Earth,” Twilight answered for me.
“Earth, Land, both are the same thing!” Rainbow snorted in dismissal. “Well, our wings fit us pegasi perfectly, thank you very much. My wings might be a tiny bit smaller compared to the average pegasus, but they’re perfect for swiftness and high speed manoeuvres. Big wings equal long distance flying and being able to carry a lot of weight.”
I had an inkling that I’d walked right into a touchy subject. Maybe pegasi had a thing about their wing size just like us men and our dicks? I wisely decided to keep my trap shut while waiting for her to continue.
“Weight has almost nothing to do with it too, you know. All pegasi have hollow bones that are just as strong as other ponies, but lighter. When we fly, we use some magic as well, but the rest is all practise, muscles, stamina, and awesomeness. And I happen to have a very high awesomeness ranking,” she concluded with yet another cocky grin.
Her explanation certainly settled that issue. I concluded that if a pegasi was drained of magic, they wouldn’t be able to fly unless they were a superbly skilled flier.
Twilight alternated her gaze between us, a satisfied smile on her lips. “Well, it looks like you two are getting along well. Pay attention, Magnus, I think Rainbow can teach you a lot of things you’ll definitely find practical.” Twilight turned to the pegasus. “And Rainbow, you have to actually teach Magnus, not just make him sit here and cheer you on while you practise a new trick or routine.”
Rainbow grinned sheepishly while letting out a nervous chuckle. “It never even crossed my mind.”
Spike wandered over to me and tapped on my leg. I knelt down and he whispered, “Rainbow’s the fastest pegasus in Equestria, and she wants to be a Wonderbolt. You’ll know who they are by the end of the day, I guarantee it.”
“Who are the Wonderbolts?” I whispered back to Spike.
“Aerial acrobats, stunt fliers, and racers who perform all over Equestria. They really are the best fliers around.”
‘Well, could be worse: the Wonderbolts could have been a boy band and Rainbow a squealing fan girl. Do they call it colt band here, I wonder?’
***
“Alright, pay attention! Today I’m gonna teach you awesome stuff, cool stuff, radical stuff!” Rainbow paced back and forth, keeping her eyes locked on me like a hawk. She was acting like a drill sergeant about to tear into some poor greenhorn. “First off, I’m gonna teach you about the weather. You know that all the weather in Equestria is taken care of by us pegasi, right?”
“I’ve been told so, yes,” I answered before adding, “but I haven’t been told the reason for it.”
“And that’s what I’m here to teach you!” Rainbow exclaimed with a grin. “You see, without us pegasi, the weather goes all kinds of crazy. Clouds form out of the blue, winds out of nowhere, and suddenly we’re dealing with a tornado or a storm. Did you know that, in other parts of the world, they let spring come on its own, as well as winter, and they never even bother to try to control the weather?” Rainbow did a good job of suppressing the shiver that ran down her back, although the way her feathers rustled ever so slightly gave it away. “It’s crazy. You’d think that Discord was still pulling pranks.”
I merely shrugged. “It’s not that bad. The way you’re describing the weather is just how it is back home. We don’t have pegasi to control the weather; things just happen on its own.”
“Yeah, I heard when you said that up in Canterlot. Honestly, it sounds creepy, like the Everfree Forest. Uh, not that I’m afraid of the Everfree Forest or anything,” Rainbow quickly added. “Anyway, I’ll tell you why we keep the weather in order. Look around.” Rainbow pointed towards Sweet Apple Acres in the distance, then moved her hoof towards other farms dotting the landscape. “Equestrian farms need the weather to be perfect in order to grow food. Apples for cider-making, wheat for baking, green clovers for cows, all that stuff. We pegasi did this since before the unification of the three tribes. If we didn’t keep the weather in order, ponies wouldn’t have as much food to go around.”
Having worked at a farm, I was well aware of the need for good weather and water for crops to grow. Sweet Apple Acres was a perfect example of optimal weather and rain; the trees looked healthy and the apples were large and shiny.
Rainbow wasn’t done yet. “Just keeping farms supplied with sun and rain isn’t all we do. We also gotta keep the weather stable so it doesn’t spin out of control. A thunderstorm has to be carefully managed, or else it can turn into a freak storm that just grows until it’s huge. We also keep an eye out for wild storms coming out of the Everfree Forest.” She pointed at the forest in the distance, another minor shudder travelling down her back. “That place just isn’t natural.”
‘How can the natural cycle of things be creepy? It’s the most natural thing in the world.’ I thought to myself. “So, all the weather in Equestria is managed by pegasi?” I asked. “Even the seasons? Just for farming and to keep bad weather at bay?”
“Of course! You have no idea how much damage a storm blowing in from the sea can do if the weather ponies aren’t aware of one coming. Ever heard of flooding? The weather factory in Cloudsdale produces all the snow clouds needed for snow to fall. Princess Celestia also moves the sun a bit further away to make the weather colder. which helps move the seasons along. Can’t make it snow if it’s too warm, you know?”
‘Valuable information.’ Ponies had mastered nature to a degree humans could only hope to achieve one day. As for Princess Celestia, how powerful did you have to be to be able to move the sun further away from the planet, and how accurate must she be? It sounded risky, but she must know what she was doing.
Rainbow’s knowledge of how the weather works was also impressive. “How do you know this stuff? Is it common knowledge?”
“Weather lessons in flight camp. All pegasi learn how to work clouds in flight camp, so it’s pretty much basic knowledge.”
My curiosity satisfied, I stood up, brushing grass off my pants. “How do you control the weather? Can you just create a cloud from nothing?”
Rainbow began flapping her wings until she was at head height with me. “How about a demonstration?” Looking around, she searched for a cloud, but she had done a good job removing them all this morning.
“Dang it, just one little cloud, that’s all,” she muttered, shielding her eyes from the sun with a foreleg. “There!” I looked to where she was pointing; a lone grey cloud came floating with the breeze from the forest in the distance. “A wild cloud from the Everfree. It’ll have to do. Come on!”
Rainbow’s entire body tensed, especially the muscles around her wings and back. Like a spring released, she blasted away in a single burst of speed, going from simply hovering in the air to a distant speck in mere seconds. The choppy wind from her rapid departure whipped around me while I stood there, mouth agape in astonishment. She’d accelerated faster than any vehicle I knew, even a fighter jet taking off from a carrier. The G forces she was subjected to during that take off should have killed her.
However, she was alive and well when she flew back. The dust in the air didn’t even have time to settle before she appeared before me again with the same speed she had left.
“You coming?”
It took me a moment to hoist my jaw back into place. “Uh… sure. Just… give me a moment to collect my bearings.”
I began jogging across the park and then the fields outside town while heading towards the stray cloud on the outskirts of town. Rainbow had slowed enough so that we were side by side, and judging by the look on her face, she was not having fun at all. She looked downright bored and even her eyelids were drooping.
“Pretty sure my pet tortoise can outrun you,” she mocked with a yawn. “Seriously, I’m about to fall asleep.”
I tried to focus only on breathing, though I frowned at the tone in Rainbow’s voice. “Gimme a break, Sanic,” I replied, panting like a dog. “I used to be lighter before my legs and arms got heavier. Not to mention the steel nailed to my hooves. Give me a forest or cross-country and I can walk all day. Running isn’t my thing.”
“Yeah, like walking is sooo hard,” Rainbow replied sarcastically. She pulled ahead and turned around, flying backwards while resting her forelegs behind her head. “It’s just one leg in front of the other all the time. Yeah, so difficult.”
I scoffed at her, focusing on breathing. I was never good at pacing myself, or exercising to really train myself. Strapping a heavy backpack on me to walk through a forest or mountainous area, though, was never a problem. Can’t say it built my stamina, though.
We eventually reached the edge of the forest. While I tried to regain my breath, I made a silent promise to find time to train. Since there weren’t any cabs or cars or even buses nearby, all my traveling would have to be on foot from now on.
Rainbow hovered next to me while I panted like a dog, covering her mouth with her hoof. “Awesome… Well done.” She snickered. “You just stay here while I go get the cloud.”
“Not… going… anywhere.”
Rainbow flew upwards until she found the aforementioned cloud. To my surprise, it wasn’t that high up in the air. Seriously, forty, maybe fifty meters in the air, and there it was. I had seen normal clouds here, like Earth normal, thousands of meters up in the sky, so what was up with this one?
Rainbow pressed her belly against the cloud and grabbed a hold of it, her wings propelling her forward while she guided it. It took her next to no time to bring the cloud to ground level. She came to a halt and stood on the cloud. What I first noticed was how it appeared firm to the touch and the water vapour held its shape amazingly well, but when I touched it, it felt moist and a bit chilly, almost like thick mist. It supported Rainbow’s weight just fine, but I saw that she had sunk slightly into the cloud itself before it somehow firmed up.
I shook my head in amazement at the sight of the impossible happen before me. “Unreal. It looks like foam, but it’s actually a cloud.”
“It’s not like clouds are fake.” Rainbow stomped a hoof into the cloud. In response, a small patch of cloud came loose and instantly vaporized. “This is a wild cloud, one that formed in the Everfree Forest by itself. Clouds made in Cloudsdale are easier to manage and form into rain clouds, snow clouds, mist, and whatever we need them to be.”
“Made in Cloudsdale?” I looked at Rainbow and cocked a brow. “You can make clouds?”
“Mhm, at the weather factory. It’s a huge factory where they make rain, snow, rainbows, storms, thunderclouds, thunderbolts—hay, they even make tornadoes if they need one somewhere. I heard that they’re planning to expand the factory by making a sandstorm department to use in the south.”
I couldn’t even imagine what such an operation would look like, but my guess would be pegasi magic, a lot of pegasi magic. Also, who the hell needed a sandstorm?
“Is Equestria the only country that controls the weather?” I prodded the cloud to find a solid spot, but to no avail.
“Nah, I know that a few other pony countries have them, and I’m sure that griffons have them too; they can also manipulate the weather. I think my friend Gilda’s uncle works at one.”
“How do you make clouds rain? How does it work?” I asked.
“We just give them a good buck.”
“A buck? Like a kick?”
“Yeah, I’ll show you.”
Rainbow looked her cloud over and then began packing it tightly together, causing the cloud to steadily turn grey. “I gotta pack it together first so I can squeeze some rain out of it,” she explained. When the cloud was the size of a footstool and a rather ominous grey, she gave it a kick with her forelegs. In response, a small shower of water fell from the cloud itself. It stopped raining after just a few moments.
“Amazing,” I mumbled, grinning like a kid. “I bet the weather forecast is a breeze around here.”
Rainbow grinned and gave the cloud a much stronger buck, dispersing the cloud into vapour that left a lingering rainbow in the air.
Rainbow also knew a lot about how ancient pegasi made weather; they used wild clouds and ‘tamed’ them somehow to suit their own needs. Heck, they even made supersized rain storms, gale storm winds, and tornadoes in order to batter their enemies ages ago. Weather warfare? Now that sounded dangerous.
However, history lessons weren’t much on her schedule today. After her teaching me about weather, she had another activity in mind: chillaxing.
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve made rain every night for a while now, and every morning, we gotta clear away any lingering clouds so that they don’t mess up the day,” she explained while getting comfy up in a tree branch, grabbing some leaves and forming them into a rudimentary pillow. “Getting to bed late and waking up earlier than Applejack means I haven’t slept much lately, so relax and do whatever you want. I need a power nap in order to make it through the day. We’ll do something else later.”
“‘Kay, I’ll just…” I looked around me; Rainbow was resting in the only tree around. There were a few bushes, a few hundred meters to town, and not much else. “…Find something to do.”
It only took seconds before I heard Rainbow snoring lightly from up in the tree. Sure, she was meant to teach me today, but I understood her situation. I wasn’t mad or anything—hell, I actually welcomed the chance to do something else without a teacher around me or Twilight asking questions. Besides, I figured that I had gotten a pretty good handle on Equestria by now, at least the basics.
I wandered around, for a while, peering into the nearby brook, checking out some of the unfamiliar flowers that grew nearby, feeling the gentle breeze on my skin. I laid down on the ground, arms and legs spread out, the tall grass tickling my skin and fur. It was an odd sensation against my fur, but not unwelcome. We were far enough from town that I couldn’t hear any voices or the sounds that were associated with ponies bustling about.
‘So peaceful. No social media interrupting my day with news of something new and terrible happening in the world, just like it does every single day. No TV, no internet, no cars, no planes in the sky. If only the guys could be here… Bet we could go fishing somewhere.’
While lying there and staring up at a blue sky, I inhaled deeply as a smile touched my face. I remembered Grandfather saying that Mom had loved the outdoors too. I wondered what she would say if she was alive and came with me. What would she think of this place? She would have been a hybrid as well. What would she say to transforming like this? I vaguely remembered the dream I had about Star Swirl, about people like me, some resembling bipedal ponies, other looking close to human… It had been a strange dream, even more confusing when I woke up. All those people had lived brief lives and died on Earth.
Now, my days on Earth seemed so long ago, yet it was only about… what, six weeks? I couldn’t remember; the days had passed so quickly now that I was out of the castle and had things to do. It was good; it kept my mind off my homesickness. Perhaps this was part of the princesses’ plan?
I grabbed a handful of grass and began levitating a single green straw just above my head, twirling it around lazily. An idea floated across my mind. I had read a book last night which made me believe that levitating two objects at once was not as hard as I first believed. Deciding to test it out, I held another straw next to the floating one and began pouring my magic into it, searching for a place to grasp it by. A faint, almost invisible green and white aura began to form around the straw. The already floating straw bobbed in the air as my hold on it diminished. I quickly shifted my attention back to the first straw, re-establishing my hold on it. I ever so gently shifted my focus over on the straw I wanted to levitate. Slowly, I moved my hand down to the ground and the straw held its place in the air, bobbing up and down until I lost my mental grip on it and it fell. A minor, yet short-lived victory.
Feeling a sense of accomplishment wash over me, I continually repeated my efforts, and each time, I was able to make it float just a second longer than the last attempt. I felt the weight and the strain on my horn, but the reward was much more tempting than giving up. Then I finally made it happen. Before my eyes, two straws levitated around each other. I quickly surmised the correct approach; divide the magic evenly between two objects, focus on both, and hold them firmly yet gently.
‘Another tiny achievement for me,’ I thought with a grin on my face as the straws fell down on my chest. I closed my eyes and placed my hands behind my head. The strain on my horn was enough that I needed to rest for a moment. I’d call it a victory nap.
I drifted off to the sound of birds and breeze, hovering just above unconsciousness while the sun warmed my body. I don’t know how long I laid there, but another sound caught my attention. At first I thought it was wind, but the sound was steady, rhythmic almost, like… wings?
I squinted through one eye when the sound was almost on top of me. It was Rainbow Dash and she had another cloud, though this one was wickedly dark, almost black. Raindrops dripped from it while blue sparks crackled from within. Thundercloud was the first word that came to my mind. She grinned mischievously and her narrowed eyes locked onto me. Raising her forelegs above her head, she slammed them onto the cloud, making it crackle violently for a split second. My eyes shot open in an instant the second I saw the first electric spark rumble violently inside the dark cloud. I don’t know if it was instinct to jerk away from danger or just pure luck that saved me, but I managed to roll to the side so that I was face down, then pushed away and to the side from the ground with my arms and legs. A moment later, I heard the distinct sound of an electric arc behind me, followed by a brief flash of heat on my back.
Standing on all fours, I stared at where I had been lying moments earlier. A faint trail of blue smoke rose from a blackened spot on the ground, followed by the acrid odour of burnt grass. Then the laughter came.
“So close, almost got you!” Rainbow sniggered heartily on top of her cloud. “So close! You know, for a big guy, you sure can move fast when you want to!”
She rolled around on the cloud, laughing her ass off as I speechlessly stared at her, adrenaline surging through my body after my escape from certain death. I almost died—No, I was almost killed! By Rainbow Dash! How could she? Why would she?
“I knew the cloud was too heavy; that’s why you heard me, right? I’ve never been good at stealth fly—”
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU PSYCHOPATH!”
Rainbow’s bout of laughter instantly died, and her gleeful face fell. For a brief moment, she appeared confused. “What? It was just a prank.”
I stared incredulously at her, then to the still crackling thundercloud. “BY KILLING ME?” I screamed.
“HEY!” Rainbow shouted back, sounding riled up. “Don’t you talk to me like that! What, you can’t handle a simple prank?”
I stared slack-jawed at her, my rage blazing uncontrollably. “You call killing someone a prank?!”
Rainbow glared at me with bared teeth and flew right into my face, pressing her muzzle against my nose. “Get over it! You can’t even handle a lightning bolt? Fillies and colts can handle a zap! Are you that much of a wimp? Lightning doesn’t kill; everypony knows that!”
“LIGHTNING KILLS! DON’T YOU EVEN KNOW? WHAT, HAVE YOU BEEN FLYING SO HIGH THAT YOU’VE GOTTEN BRAIN DAMAGE FROM THE LACK OF OXYGEN?” I shouted back at her as loud as I could.
Rainbow pulled back a bit. Crossing her forelegs over her chest, she gave me a mocking sneer. “Lightning doesn’t kill, you big wuss. I’ve never even heard of anypony getting remotely injured by lightning. So,” she flew down to my face with the same scornful expression, “you’re afraid of lightning. I gotta remember that for future pranks.”
She was insane. Rainbow Dash was certifiably insane. She had attempted to murder me for fun, no other reason needed. I had to get away from her. Stumbling backwards, I kept my eyes on her in case she tried anything else. I had no idea what I’d done to make her angry enough to try and kill me, but the only thing on my mind was getting enough distance between me and her. Twilight’s castle was the safest place to be, so I decided to go there, and fast.
“You’re insane,” I said, an odd calmness washing over me as I pointed a finger at her. “I’m leaving, and you’re not following me.”
Rainbow shook her head while laughing. “Ohoho, this is too good! Sure, you’ll get a shock, but I’m telling you that it’s impossible to be killed by a lightning bolt. You’re overreacting so much!”
I judged the distance between me and Rainbow to be sufficient enough, so I turned around and began a quick jog back towards the castle in the distance. I only had to cross through town first. Hopefully, she didn’t want any witnesses to her attempt on my life.
“Hey! Where you going?” I heard her yell behind me. “We’re not done yet! Come on, don’t you get it?” Her last sentence was louder. I glanced over my shoulder, and sure enough, she was flying after me. I was still in the open and she didn’t bring her cloud, but with her speed and hooves, all she needed to do was strike my skull, neck, or spine for it to be the end of me.
Knowing that I was being chased by someone who wanted me dead was great motivation for my survival. I went into a full sprint, the bushes and trees becoming a blur as I dashed past them, each time a hoof striking the ground sending tremors up my legs. It felt as if the limit for how fast I could run was pushed further away, like I had much more to give, but that train of thought vanished when I heard Rainbow just behind me.
“That’s more like it! You really can run!” she shouted awfully close to me. I didn’t dare glance behind me, instead increasing my speed, adrenaline fueling me beyond my limits.
She flew up next to me, her forelegs extended while her wings flapped and the wind whipped her rainbow-coloured mane around. For the first time, traces of concern appeared on her face. “Why are you running? Are you that afraid of lightning? If you are, I’m sorry, okay?”
I looked briefly to the side, spotting the speedster next to me. ‘Think, man, think! I have to stop her somehow! I gotta get to Twilight; hopefully, she can restrain Rainbow and call the guards! But how? Rainbow’s strong and fast, but she’s gotta have some weakness!’
Her left wing almost brushed against my shoulder as it flapped rapidly. It gave me an idea; Rainbow was flying almost all the time. It was the source of her speed. Take it away and she’d be grounded. I only had one chance to hit. If I missed, she would just move out of my reach and then could do whatever she wanted to me. I struck out with my right arm as quickly as I could, striking what would be the wrist of her wing with my fist. The moment I made contact, she wobbled violently in the air, and when I saw her spin out of control, I knew I had made the right choice.
With a loud yelp, Rainbow crashed head-first into a bush right before I came to the wooden bridge that led into town. I didn’t bother looking to see if she was alive or not; after all, who would check on their would-be murderer?
I continued into town, jumping over frightened ponies in my way, scaring pedestrians and sprinting through narrow alleyways, my steel-shod hooves creating a steady thud. Occasionally, I checked the skies to see if my pursuer was there. Although there were a few pegasi around, none resembled Rainbow.
Daring to stop in an alley for a breather and to get my bearings, I spotted the infernal pegasus in the skies. Shielding her eyes with a hoof, it was obvious she was searching for me, and she did not seem happy. I pressed myself against the wall, hiding under an overhanging roof while desperately checking for a way out. One end of the alley led towards the outskirts of town, but the other led towards the market and a crowd of ponies. Over the houses of the market square, I could discern the topmost spire of Twilight’s castle. However, it was quite a distance, and running in the open would be the same as waving my arms and shouting ‘over here’. I needed a plan, and Lady Luck delivered it to me.
At the other end of the market square was Applejack next to her apple-laden cart. Maybe she could help me, or somehow stop Rainbow? It was doubtful, seeing as Rainbow’s crash had done naught to slow her, but I had few other options.
I drew rapid breaths while readying myself for another sprint. My adrenaline was still pumping, which would give me the boost needed to reach the castle. Dashing out from the alley, I bolted towards Applejack, unintentionally scaring a few ponies. Their surprised screams drew Applejack’s attention, and she smiled when she saw me, though it quickly faded as she saw the expression on my face.
“Sugarcube, what’s wro—?”
“It’s Rainbow! She tried to kill me! Stop her, please!” I shouted as I ran past her stand and towards the castle.
“Kill you?!” Applejack seemed horrified at the mere mention of the deed. She quickly ran after me and caught up. “Whaddaya mean kill you? What did she do?” I didn’t even get a chance to answer.
“AJ! STOP HIM!” a voice shouted from above, followed by the sound of rapid wings beating in the air. At this point, that sound was going to haunt me.
Once more, however, the fates were kind. “Ow! AJ, what’s the big idea?” Rainbow shouted. Curiosity got the best of me, and I glanced over my shoulder. Applejack had gotten her mouth on a rope and actually lassoed Rainbow’s leg, effectively halting the rainbow killer and drawing her attention.
‘Merciful Applejack, I’m gonna kiss you right on the lips for saving my ass.’
I never stopped sprinting, not before I reached the doors to the castle and swiftly slammed them shut with a loud thunderous boom. I was safe, at least for the moment. Now to find Twilight—she’d know what to do.
The mare in question found me first. She appeared in the doorway that led to the library with a questioning expression on her face. “Magnus?” she inquired carefully, recognizing the distress pouring from my body. “You look terrible! What happ—?”
“No time!” I shouted as I began dragging different pieces of furniture and anything that I could move to block the door. “Call the police, royal guards, army, Mr Ed, anyone! Rainbow tried to kill me!”
There was a moment of silence, only broken by the shrill sound of a crystal bench being dragged across the floor, before Twilight gently asked for clarification.
“Rainbow tried what?!”
***
In my own defence, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I mean, blocking a huge ass door with furniture? Come on! All Rainbow had to do was find a window and BAM! She was in. It didn’t help when Twilight pointed that out after I had explained the entire incident to her. That was why I ran away to find another room to hide in, namely the kitchen. There was only the one door and there were cutlery, rolling pins, frying pans and an assortment of other kitchen utensils that would be suitable as a makeshift weapon.
Before I went into hiding, Twilight teleported away, and I hadn’t seen her since. That was fifteen minutes ago. I’d spent the time preparing for a battle, just in case Twilight was swayed by whatever honeyed words Rainbow produced.
Still, it was Twilight’s castle and she knew the layout of the place. Somehow, she probably knew where I would hide. When she opened the door to the kitchen, I stood prepared.
“There you are.” She sounded relieved upon spotting me. “I was… What are you doing? Why have you made a mess in the kitchen?”
I had stacked an assortment of objects against the door, which collapsed into a pile of rubble when Twilight pushed open the door with her magic. I’d also found sacks of flour, sugar, and oats in the cabinets which I had used as sandbags to create defensive positions between the table and the stove.
“Defence.” I pointed to my shoddy structure.
“And why do you have a pot on your head?”
“Helmet.”
“Uh huh… And the lid?”
“Shield.”
“The rolling pin?”
“Mace of Baking.”
Twilight stared at my weapon, her eyes going wide. “The nails in the rolling pin?”
“Plus five damage.” I pointed to the broken chairs in the corner. “I broke the chairs for nails and used a frying pan as a hammer. I can fix them… I just don’t know how yet.”
Taking another look at the mess I had made, Twilight blew air through her mouth in silent defeat and shook her head. “Look, Rainbow and Applejack are upstairs, and we’d like to talk to you. Rainbow told us everything.”
“She confessed to attempted murder? Great, when’s the trial?”
“There won’t be one,” Twilight answered plainly. “Rainbow told us how scared you are of lightning, despite lightning being harmless. I don’t know why you are so scared of it. Is it the loud sound? The flash? The tingling feeling all over your body? I don’t know, but the fact of the matter is, it simply can’t cause us any serious injury, not even mild injury.”
I tossed my makeshift shield on the counter with a loud clang, my helmet and Dead Island-esque weapon following. “Bullshit!”
“Do you have to swear?” she chided, turning on the spot. “Come, you should hear what we have to say.”
I hesitated to meet the local Jack the Electrocutioner again, but reasoned that since both Applejack and Twilight would be there, they would probably be enough of a buffer. A level of trust was needed, which was why I relieved myself of all the weapons I carried, even those I had concealed on my person. Why did Twilight even have a meat cleaver in her kitchen anyway?
We made our way from the kitchen, up the stairs into the main hall, and turned to enter the library. Applejack and Rainbow both sat at the table. While Applejack had a somewhat neutral expression on her face, Rainbow seemed downright pissed at me.
Twilight found herself a seat while I took the one furthest away from Rainbow, glaring daggers right back at her. Our visual battle did not go unnoticed by the other two.
“So…” Twilight alternated her gaze between us. “I… um, I realize that since you’re new to Equestria, you’ve observed a lot of things that are different from Earth, one of those things being our pegasus-controlled weather. Rainbow explained to us that she was teaching you this exact topic earlier today.”
“That’s true,” I responded curtly.
Twilight nodded carefully, turning to Rainbow. “I did. I even gave him a lesson on how we change the seasons, and then he freaks out because of a prank.” She glared at me. “Chicken.” Applejack nudged Rainbow with her elbow. “What? I’m just saying it!”
“Now, Magnus,” Twilight looked to me. “Do you feel comfortable explaining your reaction to Rainbow’s prank? I mean, okay, it’s not exactly high comedy, but you were positively terrified when you stormed into the castle.”
I leaned forward, folding my hands on the table while upgrading my stare from daggers to bastard swords. Time to teach them how the real world worked.
“Because a single lightning strike can kill a human with ease.”
My answered echoed in the vast library, two ponies staring at me as if I they were unsure whether to believe me or not. One pony just chuckled.
“See, there he goes again.” Rainbow waved a hoof at me. “Why don’t you just admit you’re afraid of a little shock?”
I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from cursing her. What did she know? She had never been to Earth.
“Rainbow, can you be quiet? I want to hear Magnus’ side of the story,” Twilight said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“That he’s afraid of a tiny zap?” Rainbow leaned back in her chair with a smug expression.
“That’s enough, Dash!” Applejack punctuated her statement by slamming a hoof down on the table. “He’s trying to explain, and it ain’t no good if you’re just gonna interrupt him. Although,” Applejack’s eyes narrowed slightly as she regarded me, “Ah ain’t never heard of anypony getting killed by lightning.”
I swore internally. I wanted so badly to teach Rainbow a lesson, to make her eat her own words. But how? While Applejack and Twilight might believe me, Rainbow never would. God damn this world of magic. The differences were going to kill me, I just knew it. I had to start somewhere, and the place to start was obvious.
“Twilight,” I strove to keep my voice level, “you said that ponies and all other creatures on this world are immune to lightning, right?”
“I said that, yes, and I’m correct,” she answered matter-of-factly.
“How?”
Twilight’s muzzle wrinkled slightly, as though bemused by the very nature of the question itself. “To put it simply, the energy released by a lightning bolt hits the thaumatic field that—”
“~English~, Twilight.”
“I would if I could, but I don’t know ~English~.”
I sighed. “Equish then, smartass. And explain it so that I can understand.”
She nodded, though not before frowning at my language. “Magic exists everywhere, including within us. As a matter of fact, our bodies radiate magic. When a lightning bolt strikes us, the lightning hits our magic-saturated bodies and is then immediately diverted into the ambient magic around us. A small part of electricity is absorbed into our bodies, which results in a minor electric shock. However, some living things can be seriously affected by lightning, due to their low magical levels. Trees, for example, aren’t that well protected and can catch fire, or the lightning can splinter bark and break branches.”
I nodded idly. There was probably more to it than the preschool explanation Twilight had given me, but it was all I needed to hear. They weren’t afraid of lightning because no one had been killed by it.
“That still doesn’t explain why you are so afraid of lightning,” Twilight said while looking to her friends. Applejack nodded while Rainbow just smirked at me while mouthing ‘chicken’.
I composed myself and leaned onto the table while recalling as much as I could about electricity and lightning in general. Although my knowledge was limited, I did remember the dangerous stuff, and that was what mattered.
“Like I told Rainbow, we humans can be killed by lightning and electricity in general—”
“She told me you said that, but it’s not possible,” Twilight interjected. “It goes against all thaumatic laws and theories in existence.”
“Impossible here, maybe, but not on Earth. As a matter of fact, a single lightning strike can kill a group of people with ease.” Two of the ponies at the table gasped audibly, while Rainbow’s smirk began to fade. “Each year, hundreds of people all across the world die due to lightning.”
A spiteful thrill jolted through me when I saw how Rainbow Dash’s demeanour had shifted. Someone wasn’t cracking any jokes now.
“B-But that’s just not possible!” Twilight stammered. “Just a few months ago, I studied different weather phenomenon in Equestria, and not once did I ever read about ponies or griffons or any creature killed by lightning. Magic protects all of us by diverting most of the energy into the ambient magic all around us!”
For someone so obviously brilliant, Twilight was constantly missing the point I was making. “What is it humans normally doesn’t have?”
“You said it yourself; humans and Earth doesn’t have—” She paused mid-sentence, realisation dawning on her. I didn’t think it was possible for a pony to go pale given their colourful coats. “Magic,” Twilight almost whispered. “You—How? How can lightning kill?!”
I smiled grimly. Now at least I had Twilight’s full attention. She already believed me, Applejack as well, judging by the expression on her face. Rainbow wasn’t quite there yet, but she would be. Soon.
“I’ll explain that. Now, I don’t know how you measure electricity, and I simply can’t come up with a word in Equish that says anything about measuring electricity. I can tell you how we humans do it. See, there are three ways we measure it—I can’t remember in what way we use them—which are called ~volts~,~watts~, and ~amperes~. I’ll be getting back to them in a minute.
“A few general facts as well: a lightning bolt is extremely hot, about twenty thousand degrees and above, several times warmer than the surface of the sun. Metal evaporates at those temperatures. An average lightning strike can be between one hundred million to two hundred million ~volts~.”
For once, Twilight wasn’t taking any notes. She seemed stunned, her ears the only part of her moving as they focused on me.
“Now then. We humans can handle ~volts~ relatively well. We can survive a lightning strike if we’re lucky, but the killer in electricity is ~amperes~. Less than one ~ampere~ can interrupt the electrical signals that makes the heart beat, enough to stop the heart completely, and a lightning bolt has more than enough to finish me off. However, the heart is not the only organ in danger. The skin can be scarred or completely burnt off, flesh can be cooked, and in worst case scenarios, lightning can carbonize tissue, even bones. Worst case scenarios are very rare, thankfully. The heat generated from lightning is also hazardous, as it heats up the air. Imagine a lightning bolt striking me in, say, the chest. My lungs are full of air, and when the air heats up, it expands.”
Twilight shakily held up a hoof, like a child in school answering a question. “Y-Your lungs would rupture by the expanding air…” There was a greenish tinge to her face as though she was about to throw up.
“That’s an A to the purple mare on the first row.”
Rainbow seemed frozen in her chair. She wasn’t even blinking.
Applejack, however, slowly took off her hat and held it to her chest, looking like she was about to pass out. “Sweet Celestia and Luna,” she muttered under her breath.
“N-No. No no no.” Rainbow had found her voice at last, and she shook her head furiously. “No, that’s not true. Twilight, it isn’t true! It can’t be!”
“...I…” Twilight struggled to find words as she gazed at Rainbow, the mare standing with her forelegs on the table with a mix of nervousness and fear on her face, waiting for Twilight to respond. “W-We don’t know, Rainbow.”
“Whaddaya mean you don’t know?!” Rainbow shrieked.
There was a stricken expression on Twilight’s face. “Magnus and his people are the only ones who would know; we are protected by our magic.”
“And we’ve lived with nature’s wrath over our heads for ages.” I locked eyes with Rainbow Dash. “Long ago, we thought lightning to be acts of the gods, and we learned to respect that awesome power that could kill and burn. It was relatively recently that we began to truly understand the weather and figured out the true nature of lightning.” I cracked a cold smile. “Still, we know better than to stand outside during a lightning storm with a metal pole in our hands.”
Rainbow stared at me, her eyes growing wider. She opened her mouth, then closed it when she couldn’t say anything, looking to Twilight for support. The mare looked totally lost in a subject she had no idea how to manoeuvre in.
“I’m completely out of my element. Magnus is the teacher now.” Twilight looked to Rainbow. “For all of us.”
“There are also the long term effects to consider,” I added.
“There’s more?” Twilight asked, sounding even more subdued. “How bad can it possibly be?”
“Pretty bad. The worst injuries are to the circulatory system and the central nervous system. The heartbeat can become irregular, even causing cardiac arrest hours later. There’s also damage to the brain to consider. Amnesia, long term confusion, irreparable brain damage, ruptured eardrums caused by the sound and air pressure of the lightning, problems sleeping, dizziness—the list goes on.”
Twilight looked like I had told her that her entire life was a lie, while Applejack mumbled something under her breath, still clutching her hat. Rainbow Dash seemed on the verge of completely shutting down. Her eyes were red and shiny, almost on the verge of tears, while her forelegs trembled on the table.
“And that’s about it, I guess. Now do you know why I reacted like I did, Rainbow?”
Directly addressing her was what needed to rouse her. She stared at me, blinked twice, then scrambled out of her chair and tore out of the room as rapidly as she could, one foreleg clutching her stomach, the other covering her mouth. Just as she left the room, I heard her retching. Applejack immediately sprang into action and followed Rainbow out into the hallway.
I didn’t even think Twilight noticed the other two leaving the room. For a moment, I almost regretted telling them everything, but they needed to hear it. Not for their sake, but for my own safety, no matter how grisly the truth sounded. If it meant that someone had to puke their guts out, I was fine with it.
***
Rainbow didn’t go far. We found her in the nearest bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach. Twilight went inside, leaving me leaning against the wall in silent contemplation.
Half an hour elapsed, during which Rainbow stopped retching. Only the muffled sounds of gentle conversation and consoling came from inside, together with muffled sobs. From what I managed to piece together from the titbits of conversation I picked up, Rainbow was both upset and scared out of her mind over what she did, or what could have happened to me. Basically, her prank had almost backfired in a significantly dangerous way.
As for me, I had time to think.
I realized that, because the magic of this world protected everyone here, my reaction must have appeared overly dramatic. Since magic protected them, I wondered if it applied to me as well. Honestly, the idea of being voluntarily struck by lightning just so I could find out didn’t appeal to me.
If I had to be honest, the fact that the lightning was, in all seriousness just a prank, put my mind at ease, at least somewhat. As innocent as tricking someone into pissing on an electric fence, anyway… But how could I have known that it was just a prank? From my point of view, it actually seemed like Rainbow wanted to shove a lightning bolt up my ass. Maybe if I’d paid attention, I would have noticed that she seemed just fine after kicking the cloud, so she most likely didn’t feel it at all. Still, I certainly didn’t feel guilty for Rainbow puking her guts out. She scared the shit out of me; I just returned the favour by telling the truth.
The door opened and Twilight came out, looking a bit frazzled. “How are you holding up?” I asked her, gliding down the wall until I sat on the floor.
“Better than earlier,” she replied quietly.
“And Applejack?”
“Still with Rainbow Dash, though I think she’ll think twice before going out during a thunderstorm. Applejack’s a tough pony, but you really scared her.”
“What about Rainbow?”
Twilight glanced at the bathroom door; the sobbing and muffled voices had subsided into the occasional hiccup.
“She feels terrible. She thinks she nearly killed you, and she’s worried you're angry at her.” Twilight turned to me. “Are you?”
“Angry at her?” I spent a few moments to consider her question. “I was, to begin with, but not anymore. She’s probably done this before and thought I was the same as you guys. Can’t blame her for it. I can handle a joke or two, but a lightning strike? As far as I’m concerned, it isn’t a prank.”
Twilight nodded slowly. “You know that your magic will protect you from lightning, right?”
I nodded. “I thought about it, and while it’s nice to know that I can handle a strike and get nothing more than singed clothes and burnt hair, I don’t want to test it any time soon.”
The door creaked open again. Rainbow came walking out with Applejack behind her, thoroughly downtrodden, her mane bedraggled and her eyes even redder than before. She gave half a glance to Twilight, but she refused to even look in my general direction.
“I… I’m going home. I have things to do.” The usual confidence in her voice had all but evaporated. She said nothing else as she trudged down the hall towards the door.
Twilight wasn’t one for letting Rainbow simply walk out. “Rainbow, wait!” She cantered after Rainbow, but the pegasus reached the doors first and left.
“Let her go, Sugarcube,” Applejack said as the front doors slammed shut. “She’s got a lot to think about; told me she wanted to be alone for now.”
Twilight regarded the doors. “But we—” she protested, only to be cut off by Applejack putting a hoof around her neck in an embrace.
“Ah know, Ah know, we won’t leave her alone forever. For now, we’ll just give her some space. Knowing her, she’ll be flying in no time. We can talk with her then.”
Twilight conceded to Applejack’s sage advice with a dejected nod of her head before turning to go back to the library.
“Rainbow’s afraid, Ah recon,” Applejack mentioned offhandedly, adjusting her hat. “Afraid you hate her for that prank of hers, afraid you’ll never want to talk to her again. More than anything, she’s terrified knowing she almost killed you.”
“The truth hurts.” I sighed and stood up, stretching my legs. “You all know my mind-set towards lightning now, know why I ran, why I accused her of trying to kill me. If I knew more beforehand, we could have avoided this mess in the first place.”
Applejack regarded me, a slight hint of hope in her eyes. “Do you forgive Rainbow then?”
I hesitated. Honestly, I knew this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park from the start, but the reception I had received in this town made me forget how little I actually know about how this world worked.
“I’d say Rainbow and I are back to square one. Not friends, not enemies. Right now, I don’t want to talk to her.”
Applejack maintained a neutral expression and nodded. “Not exactly what I expected to hear, but… fair, Ah reckon. As for Rainbow, she’ll probably be at her house or on a cloud someplace up high, if you plan to talk with her.”
“It’s not like she’s hard to miss.” Honestly, I really didn’t want to talk with Rainbow any time soon. Yes, it was a prank. Yes, I really thought I was about to die. No, I wasn’t happy with Rainbow.
Applejack chuckled lightly, even with the seriousness of the situation. “Well, ain’t that the truth. Anyway, time for me to get back to my cart. Ah’m missing out on customers.”
She cantered to the door, looking like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Just as she stepped outside, she hurriedly backtracked inside and peered carefully up at the skies while holding onto her hat. “Just being careful,” she said with a sheepish grin before leaving.
I headed back into the library to find Twilight sitting at the table, this time without a book in front of her, a conflicted expression on her face.
“Are you worried about Rainbow Dash?” I asked.
She took a moment to answer. “Yes, and I’m worried about you too.” Twilight avoided meeting my gaze.
I nodded idly. “I’m not angry at Rainbow, but I’m not happy with her either. As far as I’m concerned, we’re just two people who know each other’s names.”
A few moments passed by as we sat in silence, before Twilight finally sighed. “I’m the Princess of Friendship. I help ponies repair their bonds and restore harmony, but I don’t know where to start with this.” She looked at me with hopeful eyes. “Maybe if you and Rainbow just sat down and talked—”
“No.” Twilight’s hopeful expression faded.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to talk with her. With how things stand right now, I doubt we’d say anything constructive to one another.”
Twilight remained silent for a few seconds. “I’ve failed,” she nearly whispered with clenched eyes. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna placed you in my care so that my friends and I could teach you about Equestria. I’ve never been a teacher before. I was so happy to finally be one.” She shook her head. “But I failed. I’m a terrible teacher.”
“Rainbow failed.” Twilight lifted her eyes to meet mine. I frowned, not at her, but at the wrong turn the day had taken. “Rainbow was supposed to teach me today, not you. I don’t know what she had planned for the rest of the day, but she failed, not you. Don’t take the blame for what others did to me.”
She didn’t answer, averting her eyes to the table once again. I had no idea what was going through her mind right now, but the way she adored the princesses, she would probably take full responsibility anyway.
Standing up, I walked over to Twilight and crouched behind her. Placing a hand on her withers, I gave a light squeeze and exhaled. “You are a good teacher, Twilight,” I began, my voice calm and even. “You’re smart, knowledgeable, and patient. Sometimes you get a bit stuck on the details, but it’s a good thing too. That way, I’ll definitely remember things.”
She remained silent as I rubbed her withers gently. I could tell that she needed someone who knew her better than me, such as her friends or maybe even Princess Celestia. Hopefully, she would talk with Twilight in the morning.
“You are not responsible for the actions of others, Twilight,” I reminded her, to which she nodded hesitantly.
I left the library, seeing as there wasn’t much else I could do. Words never were my strong suit. Still, I hoped that Twilight would be alright, and that she and Rainbow would speak to each other again, and soon. They seemed like such good friends. I would hate to be the one who drove a wedge between them.
Making my way to the kitchen, I spent some time cleaning the mess I had made, as well as trying to the fix the chairs I had broken. I needed to get my mind on other things, not this catastrophic day.