//------------------------------// // Technologic, Part 3 // Story: The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots! // by The Hat Man //------------------------------// “Encore!” The singular cry came up from the crowd and was soon joined by others. “Encore! Encore!” Trixie gave a little pout. “Oh, but the Great and Powerful Trixie is tired! After so many feats of magic, would you really ask her for more?” The crowd laughed, seeing the little smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Encore!” they cried again. “Oh, very well,” Trixie said, polishing a hoof on her chest. “In that case… behold as Trixie performs one last illusion that will astound you and leave you breathless! But be forewarned… this is not for the faint of heart!” Turing Test was still standing at the back of the crowd. Somehow nopony had noticed her; all the spectators were purely focused on the performance before them. Not having seen the first part of the act, Turing Test did not know what to expect, so she quietly watched to see what would happen next. “Behold!” Trixie shouted, and a burst of smoke and light covered the stage again. When it cleared, a bed of tall, pointed metal spikes was in the center of the stage. And at the center of the spikes was the tallest of them, taller than Trixie herself. “You have all seen such illusions as lying on a bed of nails and other such objects, no doubt!” Trixie said, giving a roll of her eyes and a demure laugh. “But that is the weak fare offered by inferior illusionists! The Great and Powerful Trixie offers you more than such childish parlor tricks! Do you doubt that this bed of spikes is real? That it is some convincing prop?” There were murmurs from the crowd and many even began to laugh, nodding their heads. “Then see for yourselves!” Trixie’s horn glowed and she levitated out a small, round honeydew melon. She held it over the center spike, raising it at least a meter over the point. Then her horn suddenly ceased to glow and the melon dropped onto the spike. It was pierced, impaled instantly, and slid down the shaft of the spike, the greenish juice dripping over it and the seeds sticking to the point of the spear. The crowd gasped. Turing scanned what she had just seen. The melon was real. The composition of the spike was metal. What she had just seen was real. “Convinced are you?” Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow as she wiped off the spike with a small cloth. “Then watch carefully. What you are about to see is proof of Trixie’s true power! She will balance herself on this spike using only her superb physical constitution, imbued with the great mystic energies from the finest mages across Equestria and beyond! That’s right… Trixie will do this without the use of her magic!” The crowd’s murmurs of excitement grew in intensity. Some even began to grow worried and a few backed away, expressing that they couldn’t stand the sight of blood. Turing Test saw a mare try to lead her foals away, but they were insistent that she let them watch. “Behold!” Trixie’s face grew hard and serious and, gritting her teeth and furrowing her brow, she gently stepped onto the lowest of spikes on the bed. The crowd winced as she placed her hoof directly on the spike. She took a few more steps, each hoof standing on the spikes as she ascended them. Then, at last, she gently slid onto the center spike, balancing herself on her belly, spreading her legs out in four directions like she was a throw rug, or mimicking flight. “This… is… a feat that requires the utmost... concentration!” Trixie managed to say this, though her face was creased and she appeared to be clenching her teeth even tighter, as if straining or perhaps in pain. “Just… one… mistake and--” There was a sudden movement and suddenly Trixie’s whole body dropped, her body jerking downward and the center spike pierced through her back, stabbing right through her cape. The crowd screamed in fear and shock as Trixie seemed to give one last gasp, her eyes rolling back in her head, and her body went limp, impaled on the spike. Turing was about to launch herself forward and attempt to rescue the magician, seeing that this act had gone wrong. But then her sensors detected that, curiously, Trixie’s vital signs, body temperature, and everything else about her appeared to be normal. Somehow, Trixie was alive. This was proven correct as Trixie suddenly raised her head, giving a smile to the crowd. Many gasped. Others laughed, a few even began to applaud. “Oh dear!” Trixie said dramatically. “How embarrassing! It seems I’ve gotten myself into a tricky situation. Well, no matter… it will take far more than this to best the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie bent backwards, taking the tip of the spike in her front hooves. With her back legs, she rested her hooves on the other spikes to brace herself. Grunting and straining, she appeared to push herself back up the spike, the point of it vanishing back through her cape until she had pushed herself off it. She stood on her hind legs, seemingly extricating herself from the center spike and hopped off the bed of spikes and back onto the stage. She raised her forelegs high in the air. The crowd erupted into wild cheers and applause. “Thank you, thank you! You have been a wonderful audience, and I have been your wonderfully talented wizard! Catch my next show this evening at seven o’clock! Bring your friends and be astonished once again!” The ponies began to file forward and many tossed bits on stage. The crowd began to disperse, but it was then that many froze when they saw Turing Test. “Blimey! What’s that?!” “Is this part of the act?” “Is that a pony? Is it alive?” Turing Test began to back away. But then a voice called out over the crowd: “What is the meaning of this?!” Trixie pushed through them and trotted right up to her. “Who dares frighten the Great and Powerful Trixie’s audi--” She froze, her eyes going wide when she saw Turing. “--ence?” She blinked at her. Indeed, the whole crowd seemed to be focused on the two of them. “My apologies,” Turing said, bowing her head slightly. “I only wished to witness your performance. My name is Turing Test.” Trixie said nothing, but continued to blink at her. “I did not intend to disturb or frighten anypony; I found your performance very interesting. However, I will leave now. I should rejoin my friends.” She began to back away. “Friends?” Trixie asked, keeping up with her, even as Turing continued to retreat. “What friends?” “I am engaged in a series of tests at Cambridle University accompanied by my friends Gadget and Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie froze and held up her hoof at that. “Actually,” she said, a smile forming on her face, “why don’t you stay and join Trixie backstage for a while? This day just became much more interesting!” *** Twilight and Gadget rushed back into the sub-basement lab. Twilight skidded to a halt when she saw several of the other scientists still standing around. “Gadget,” she said, getting the younger mare’s attention, “I’m going to tell Dr. Turing that Turing Test is missing and we’ll start looking for her. I want you to notify the other scientists and stay here in case she comes back!” Gadget nodded, even giving a little salute with one of her hands. “No problem, Twilight!” Twilight dashed off back to the testing area until she found Dr. Turing and Choco Mint. “Dr. Turing!” she cried. “Turing Test is missing!” Both Dr. Turing and Mint turned to stare at her. “I beg your pardon?” the griffon asked. “Where did she go?” “She just took off! Gadget and I saw her flying to the north! She just… she just flew off without saying anything!” She heaved a sigh, lowering her head as she tried to catch her breath. “I… I don’t know where she is now.” Mint raised an eyebrow. “Why in the world would she run away like that?” Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe… maybe she’s upset because she’s not doing as well as she’d expected.” Mint rolled his eyes, a gesture that Twilight caught. “Is that really so hard to believe?!” Twilight snapped, glaring hard at the pale green pony. Mint scoffed. “It is, actually. Perhaps she just wandered off for some frivolous reason that she thought might fulfill some directive. Or perhaps she’s going to collect data in the hope of improving her score.” “All right, all right!” Dr. Turing groaned loudly as he interjected himself between the two of them before their argument worsened. “Listen, I am sorry that you b-both aren’t getting along, but we cannot w-waste time when Miss Turing is unaccounted for.” Twilight and Mint both calmed down and nodded to each other. “Good. Now then, I’ll n-notify campus security to start searching the area for her. Furthermore, there isn’t much to the north of this campus save for some neighborhoods, a park, and a shopping district, so there aren’t many places she could have gone. Twilight, would you like to notify the police or would you prefer if you and I and a few volunteers began an aerial search for her?” Twilight opened her mouth, but then shut it again, rubbing her chin as she thought it over. “Let’s… let’s see if we can find her quickly. If not, then we can call the police. I don’t want there to be a panic and, in all honesty, it’s not like she’s in any danger… you’d have to be pretty tough to be a threat to Turing Test.” Dr. Turing nodded, giving a little smile. “Very well then. Mint, please notify the other observers and try to stall the other volunteers when they get here.” They were about to go, but Mint suddenly said, “Wait!” They both turned and saw him biting his lip. “Um… Talon, a few of them have already started to arrive. The rest will surely be here in less than an hour. If we push our schedule back too far, many of our volunteers will have to leave. And if that happens, I fear we won’t be able to conduct the rest of the test!” Dr Turing paused at that. “Dr. Turing,” Twilight said, putting her hoof on his shoulder, “please, I need your help! We can’t worry about that right now!” Dr. Turing nodded. “Yes, quite right. Mint, just do your best. If we haven’t f-found her within the hour then… well, we will deal with that problem when it comes.” Mint sighed, but gave him a smile and a nod. “Understood,” he replied, and watched the two of them go. *** Turing Test followed Trixie backstage only to find that “backstage” meant her wagon, which apparently could transform into a stage and back again. Watching it fold back into itself, Turing felt an odd moment of recognition, as she was herself capable of transforming in a similar way. Regardless, she walked into the wagon as Trixie shut the door behind her and put a tea kettle on a small burner. “Trixie welcomes you to her home,” Trixie said, pulling out a few stools and undoing a hook on the wall, which caused a small table to unfold. She set out two cups. “Would you like some tea?” Turing shook her head. “I am not capable of drinking tea or any other liquid. However, your offer is appreciated.” Trixie nodded and put away one of the cups. “Well then, Turing Test,” she said, taking a seat, “it seems that you caught Trixie’s show. Were you impressed?” Turing nodded. “I only observed your encore. My visual sensors are capable of analyzing magical energy and even replicating it. However, while I detected your use of magic to create many of the light effects and to trigger your smoke bombs, I did not detect any magic when you were impaled. Your vital signs remained normal throughout the event. However, I must ask that you be more careful, or else you may suffer a similar accident.” Trixie blinked, then began to snicker, covering her mouth with her hoof, then finally burst out laughing. “Did you say ‘accident?’” She pounded the small table with her hoof, still laughing as Turing tilted her head, watching her the entire time. “That was no accident! That was part of Trixie’s act!” Turing Test sat up straight. “Then you intended to injure yourself? Why would you place yourself in such danger?” Trixie’s laughter intensified. “N-no - hahaha - you don’t understand!” she managed to gasp. “Trixie was in no danger! It was all a masterful illusion as part of Trixie’s show!” Turing was silent. “Illusion? Then you were not injured? The spike did not truly penetrate your body?” Trixie’s laughter was dying down. She waved a hoof as she caught her breath. “No, no, of course not. Trixie is a travelling magician… in addition her use of stage magic, she employs many unique techniques and devices to fool the audience.” Turing got to her hooves. “Then you are a fraud and deceiving ponies and then asking them to give you their money. That action is wrong and I will notify the authorities of your deception.” As Turing Test went for the door, Trixie scrambled over her furniture in the small wagon, vaulting over Turing and placing herself between the robot and the door. “Wait!” she cried. “You don’t understand! The ponies in the audience know it’s an illusion!” Turing paused. She considered what Trixie was saying and she realized that the audience had behaved irrationally by not attempting to save Trixie when she appeared to be injured. Indeed, they had laughed when Trixie had raised her head and started speaking to them while still impaled, and had even applauded. Such actions would be strange, she supposed, in the case of a real injury, but if they had known, as Trixie said they had, then their actions suddenly made sense. “Understood,” Turing Test said, backing away from the door. “However, I do not understand why you have made a performance of deceiving others, nor do I understand why other ponies watch such a performance when they know it to be fraudulent.” Trixie sighed with relief when she saw that Turing wasn’t going to storm off. The tea kettle began to whistle and she levitated it over to the table, pouring her tea. She held out a hoof, gesturing to Turing Test to take a seat. The robot complied and sat across from her as she took a sip. “Magic shows,” Trixie began, “aren’t mere fraud or chicanery. It is a serious art that involves quick movement, a strong body, and constant awareness of one’s audience. Trixie knows just how to astound, to amaze, and even to terrify!” “So your audience knows that what they are seeing is an illusion, yet they are impressed. I cannot understand their reaction or why you used such potentially shocking tricks to elicit such a reaction.” “‘Tricks?’ Silly robot, tricks are for kids! What Trixie does are ‘feats’ or ‘illusions!’ And she does what she does because ponies love a good thrill, even when they know that what their eyes are telling them cannot possibly be real.” Turing tilted her head to the left and the right. “I do not understand why.” “It seems you’ve never gone to a magic show,” Trixie sighed, raising an eyebrow. “Normally the only ponies who haven’t that Trixie knows of are small foals. Just how old are you?” “My memory goes back to my activation approximately six weeks ago.” Trixie nearly coughed on her tea. “Six weeks?!” “Correct. I am not certain when I was built or by whom. However, since my activation, I have been in the care of Twilight Sparkle.” She noticed the slight change in Trixie’s expression. “It seems that you know her as well. May I inquire about the nature of your relationship?” Trixie rolled her eyes. “It seems Twilight Sparkle never mentioned me.” She scowled, looking down at the cup of tea. “She did some things that annoyed me and I… might have overreacted.” She sighed. “Let’s just say that we haven’t really gotten along in the past and leave it at that.” Turing’s ears twitched. “I have observed that it is part of your normal speech pattern to refer to yourself in the grammatical 3rd person. However, you just now ceased to do so.” Trixie stared back at her, puffing out her cheeks, then waved her hoof. “Never mind that! As much as Trixie loves to hear about herself, that is not why she brought you to her home.” She leaned forward then, steepling her hooves. “Let’s talk more about you. Trixie has never seen a pony like you before!” “That is expected. There do not seem to be any other robots like me in Equestria.” “One of a kind, are you? Just like Trixie! In that case, tell her what you are doing here in Trottingham?” Turing Test proceeded to tell her about her directive to make friends, about Gadget, about Dr. Turing, and her attempt to succeed at his test. “The Imitation Game, eh?” Trixie asked, downing the last of her tea. “An odd test, if you ask Trixie, but not a difficult one.” Turing sat straight up. “You have also been tested in this manner?” Trixie rolled her eyes. “It’s not a test. At least not normally. It’s a party game. Trixie played it a lot in her younger days in Canterlot. The whole idea is to trick somepony into mistaking you for somepony else. So, what, your job is to try to convince somepony that you’re not a robot or that the other pony is? What is so difficult about that?” “I am not certain. However, I have failed in nine out of ten attempts.” Trixie blinked. “That’s pretty terrible.” Turing Test lowered her head. “Well, it seems that Miss ‘Princess of Friendship’ didn’t teach you everything you need to know.” She paused, pursing her lips. “Hmm…” She started to chuckle, finally clapping her hooves together. “Ah ha! In that case, the Great and Powerful Trixie will help you where she could not!” Turing Test got to her hooves. “You believe you can assist me to be more successful?” Trixie stood as well, placing her hoof on her chest. “Trixie gives her word that she can and will!” Turing Test tapped her chin. “Very well,” she said after a moment’s thought. “How will we proceed?” “Let’s start with a little practice,” Trixie said, clearing her throat. “Now, your goal is to convince the interviewer that you are a normal pony, correct?” “Affirmative.” A flash of annoyance crossed Trixie’s face. “Well first, don’t say ‘affirmative.’ Just say ‘yes’ or ‘no,” all right?” Turing nodded. “Acknowledged.” Trixie shook her head. “No no no, not ‘acknowledged.’ Just say ‘Okay,’ okay?” “Okay.” “Okay--” “Okay.” “Enough with the okays!” Trixie snapped. “Okay.” “I said-- never mind, let’s move on. All right, if the interviewer asks you what color the fur of your coat is, what do you say?” “I do not have a fur coat. However, my exterior hull is--” Turing was cut off as Trixie rolled up a newspaper and smacked her over the head with it. “No, no, wrong! You say ‘purple’ or ‘blue’ or ‘brown’ or whatever you think your opponent’s coat might be.” “Why?” “What do you mean ‘Why?’!” Trixie shouted. “Because normal ponies have fur!” “But I do not.” “But you don’t want the interviewer to know that! So tell them something a normal pony would say!” Trixie smacked her forehead. “Now Trixie sees why you’re failing this test. How do you not understand that answering like that will get you caught?” Turing Test lowered her head. “I am sorry. But I do not know how else I should answer a question that is asked of me. The questions are too perceptive.” Trixie softened her voice and offered a weak smile. “Now now,” she said, lifting Turing’s chin up, “there is still hope. Just tell Trixie one thing: why could you not say your coat was a normal color?” “Because such a response would be false.” Trixie nodded. “Yes, it would be.” “However, I have never lied.” And now Trixie’s eyes went wide. “Never?” she gasped. “You mean to tell me that you have never ever lied about anything?” “Correct. I am capable of withholding information and giving indirect answers, and I believe that many such answers allowed me to avoid being discovered during the Imitation Game. However, some questions cannot be circumvented in the same way.” Trixie chuckled. “No matter then,” she said, and levitated a bowl of fruit over to the table nearby them. From it, she removed a banana and placed it in her hoof. “Now then, Turing Test… what is this that Trixie has in her hoof?” “A banana,” Turing replied immediately. “No, sorry,” Trixie said, a smile spreading across her face. “This is an orange.” Turing stared at the banana intently. “My scans indicate that it is not.” “I’m sure they do.” “It does not match any description of an orange. I have determined with 100% certainty that it is a banana.” “Maybe so,” Trixie said, holding it closer to Turing’s face. “But if you want to pass your test, then you’ll need to start by telling me that it isn’t. Now then, look at this banana again.” Turing glanced at it, then back to Trixie. “Tell me that it’s an orange,” she said, narrowing her eyes with a smirk. “Lie to me.” Turing Test was silent. She lowered her ears and slumped to the floor, her heavy body causing the floorboards to creak. “I cannot.” *** Gadget paced back and forth as she waited in the sub-basement lab. She was happy to do her part and wait for Turing Test to show up as Twilight had asked her, but just the same she felt anxious and she grumbled impatiently as she waited for either of her friends to return. “Hey, um, Gadget is it?” She lifted her head and saw Graceful Hopper and Maregaret Hamiltrot waving to her. The two mares were standing by some of the machinery for the ACE. “Come on over here!” Hopper said. “I’m sure your friends will be back soon, so come relax with us. And in the meantime, Maregaret and I wanted to pick your brain about some things.” Gadget managed a smile and trotted over to them. “Sure. I guess just pacing around making myself nervous isn’t helping at all.” “Good point,” Hamiltrot said, giving a short nod. “Besides, we wanted to ask you a bit about Miss Turing Test anyway.” Gadget raised an eyebrow. “What about?” “Well, you helped fix her after Princess Twilight found her, right?” Hopper asked, leaning forward, a big smile on her face. “You saw what she looks like and how she runs, didn’t you?” She nodded. “Yes. Mr. Vanderbull came to help after Princess Celestia notified him and he brought me with him.” “How wonderful!” Hamiltrot said, clapping her hooves together. “So, maybe you can help us with a little debate a bunch of us have been having around here.” “Um, sure,” Gadget said, giving a little shrug. She smiled, happy to be asked about something more up her alley. Talking about machines was always something she enjoyed. “So, we understand she can do magic and she can fly and she can boost her strength like an earth pony,” Hamiltrot said, casually making little circles in the air with her hoof as she rattled off those traits, “but the big thing we were wondering about is if you know how her brain works.” Gadget blinked. “Um, excuse me?” Hopper shot Hamiltrot a glare. “Be a little more descriptive, Maregaret.” She turned to Gadget. “What she means, Gadget, is that we’re curious how her central processing machinery works. Did you get a chance to look inside?” “Oh, I see,” she replied, and then shook her head. “Unfortunately, I didn’t. Mr. Vanderbull and I took Turing Test apart and put her back together, trying to replace all the parts that were damaged when she was struck by lightning, but her, um, well we called it her ‘brain case,’” she added with a little chuckle, “was something we couldn’t examine.” “Why not?” Hopper asked. “Well, we could see that everything - um, all the other systems, I mean - were connected to this one spherical device, but it was surrounded by a black metal casing. Very strong, probably magically-enhanced titanium alloy. It has an access panel, too, but the problem is that it has some sort of lock on it that required a key. Not only that, we detected that the lock had some magic attached to it, so it wasn’t the kind of lock we could just pick. Well, I mean, we considered trying to pick it anyway, but there was the possibility that breaking into it might have damaged the machinery. Plus, who knows, tampering with it might have caused some sort of self-destruct sequence to start. I doubt the ponies who built Turing Test want anypony else to know how they did it.” Both mares frowned, lowering their ears at that. “That’s too bad,” Hamiltrot said. “I guess you can’t help us settle the debate.” Gadget tilted her head at that. “I’m sorry, but what is the debate anyway?” “Ah, well,” Hopper said, perking up suddenly, “a lot of us, Maregaret and I especially, are wondering if her mind is magitech-based or puretech-based. You’re good with magitech, right, Gadget? I mean, with your arms and all, right?” Gadget held out one of her mechanical arms, looking at it thoughtfully as she pursed her lips. “Well, I, um… I don’t know if I’m an expert, but I did have to learn a lot about the principles in order to build these. But I’m self-taught and I kinda did a crash course on it to figure out just the stuff I needed to know. The truth is, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to build more prosthetics like them or not, though I’d really like to!” Hopper and Hamiltrot both smiled at that. “Um, as for magitech or puretech,” Gadget said, rubbing her chin with one mechanical hand, “I’m not really sure.” She smiled. “Which do you two think it is?” Hopper stepped forward, cutting off Hamiltrot as she flashed a wide grin. “Well, I think she’s puretech. The ponies who built her were obviously hardcore scientists and engineers, so maybe they’ve received information about lost technology or been perfecting their computing power while the rest of Equestria lags behind.” “Oh please,” Hamiltrot said, rolling her eyes. “Unlike Grace here, I think she must be utilizing some sort of magical enchantment. Lots of our most advanced machines have magical components, after all. Plus, she’s got computing power that will put the ACE and our best computers to shame even after we’ve built them! How in Equestria could they get that much computing power into a space that small? And keep it mobile! Why, we think future computers will be the size of whole buildings and even then I doubt they’ll be able to do all that she can!” Hopper waved a hoof. “You’re forgetting that the best magical enhancement technology we have can only do a limited number of things. To animate something like that would require way more magic than even the best unicorn wizards in Equestria could ever manage. ‘Come-to-life’ spells are notoriously unpredictable and they usually just get things to move around or dance or something. How would they keep such an enchantment going, hm?” They both looked to Gadget, their eyes aflame as they awaited her answer. The younger mare shrank into her jacket under their gaze, pulling it up around her neck. “Oh,” Hopper said, her voice softer as she stepped forward, “we’re sorry, young lady.” “Yes, we didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” Hamiltrot added, giving her a smile. Gadget returned the smile, lifting her head slightly. “Well, I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say she’s got to be running on at least a little magitech. There’s just no way, even isolated as they are, that this group that built Turing Test could possibly have developed purely mechanical technology to run her like that.” Hopper rolled her eyes as Hamiltrot assumed a smug smile. “See, Grace? She knows what she’s talking about!” “Hmph!” Hopper said, though she had just a hint of a smile on her face, so Gadget realized she wasn’t really that upset. “Well, who knows… maybe it’s even simpler than all that.” She took on a sly, almost sinister grin. “Maybe she’s some modern day Frankenstallion’s monster and she’s got a real brain in there!” “Ew!” Gadget said, wrinkling her nose at such a prospect. Hamiltrot and Hopper laughed. “Oh Grace, don’t be silly!” Hamiltrot said, playfully punching Hopper’s shoulder. “They couldn’t preserve a real organic brain inside that mechanical body. A real brain would need oxygen and water and nutrition. Unless you’ve seen Turing Test eating a lot of sugar, Gadget?” Gadget shook her head. “No. Turing Test doesn’t eat.” “Well, there you go!” Hamiltrot laughed. Then she grew more serious and tapped her own chin as she narrowed her eyes. “Still… her way of thinking is different from regular ponies at a superficial level, but in many other ways she seems a lot like us. Perhaps her mechanical brain has a similar structure.” “I’d tend to think so,” Hopper said, nodding at that. “Whether it’s magitech or puretech, I’ll bet she’s more like us than some of our colleagues would care to admit.” At that, Gadget leaned in more closely, glancing around nervously to make sure nopony else was within earshot. “Um, speaking of that,” she whispered, “what’s the deal with Choco Mint?” “Hm? What about him?” Hopper asked. Then she chuckled. “Oh, wait, did he flirt with you?” Gadget’s face flushed and both mares started to laugh. “Oh, he did!” Hamiltrot managed to say. “That old rascal!” “Th-that’s not what I was asking about!” Gadget shouted. She then immediately covered her mouth as other engineers all glanced over to her, wondering what the commotion was about. “Don’t let it bother you,” Hopper said. “That’s how he is. He doesn’t mean anything by it.” “But what I meant,” Gadget hissed, still blushing, “is that I think he’s being a real jerk to Turing Test!” Hamiltrot gave her a sideways glance. “If this is about how she’s doing on the test--” “It’s not,” Gadget said, shaking her head. “I mean, I have my own doubts about the test, but I think Mr. Mint’s doing his best on that, even though Twilight probably disagrees. But both of us think that he’s got a… I don’t know, it’s like he’s got a chip on his shoulder about Turing Test or something.” Hopper and Hamiltrot grew quiet and shared a mutual glance. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” Hopper asked. “Oh, I sure hope not. But even if it is, it might not mean anything,” Hamiltrot replied. Gadget frowned. “Um, do you two want to tell me what’s going on? I know I’m missing something here.” The two mares looked to Gadget, then back to each other, then back to her. “Listen, um, Mr. Mint is actually a pretty nice guy when you get to know him,” Hopper said. “But he’s at his best when he can read other ponies.” “Yes, that’s a good way to put it,” Hamiltrot said. “He’s a very empathetic type. I think, um… I think Miss Turing Test throws him for a loop and perhaps he’s just being cold in response.” Gadget looked from one to the other. She wasn’t always the best at reading other ponies, but something at the back of her mind was niggling at her and she narrowed her eyes. “If you say so,” she said with deliberate slowness. “Listen, Gadget,” Hopper said, placing a hoof on her shoulder, “I can understand why you don’t like him under these circumstances, but you should know that Choco is an invaluable member of our team. He’s practically a living calculator and he’s one of the best peacemakers when we have a debate. He may come off as a little smarmy, but I assure you that what Maregaret and I are telling you is the truth: he probably doesn’t like Turing Test because he doesn’t know how to behave, and that’s not something he’s used to.” Gadget’s expression softened and she finally smiled. “Okay. I’ll try to keep that in mind.” At that, there was a rumbling from Gadget’s belly and she blushed again as the other two laughed. “Tell you what,” Hamiltrot said, “why don’t you have a look at some of our other little projects around here and I’ll go fetch you something to eat from the commissary. Deal?” Gadget smiled. “Okay. Sure, that sounds great!” The three mares parted company. Gadget told herself that she’d have to try and be more civil to Mint the next time she saw him, though she also swore that if he kept bad-mouthing Turing, there would be four mechanical fists with his name on them. *** “Ugh!” Trixie threw her head back as she groaned. “What is the matter with you?! All you have to do is say ‘It’s an orange!’ Why can’t you do something so simple?” Turing Test lifted her head. “To deceive others is wrong. Again and again, the information I have gathered has indicated that ponies desire honesty and sincerity. Furthermore, my own efforts toward friendship have had to overcome mistrust about my true purposes, as some suspected that I was concealing information about my creators or working toward a directive in opposition to Twilight Sparkle and Equestria in general. I do not wish to act in a way that would negatively affect the trust I have earned.” Trixie’s expression softened and she even broke into a smile. “Hm hm… it seems you’re even more of a pure soul than Trixie thought.” Turing’s ears straightened. “Pure… ‘soul’?” “But even if that’s the case, you’re oversimplifying things,” Trixie continued, ignoring Turing’s question. “As much as Trixie respects your honesty, sometimes life calls for a little deceit.” “What situations?” Turing asked, getting back to her hooves. “Deceiving others would upset them and make them less likely to trust you.” “Well, take Trixie, for instance,” Trixie said. Her horn glowed and from all the cabinets and drawers around her, a veritable storm of items floated out into view. “Behold, the tricks of Trixie’s trade! Cards, balls, glasses, mirrors, light-bending enchanted gemstones, smoke bombs, glitter, sheets and trick knives and swords. All designed to create an illusion so convincing that everypony who witnesses it would swear that it is real.” She let Turing look at the items for another moment, then quickly tossed them back into their various compartments. “However,” Trixie continued, “despite that, the ponies who watch Trixie’s act know it isn’t real. The fun is not that they are deceived without knowing it, but rather that they are deceived and still can’t understand how. Even you, Little Miss Machine, apparently couldn’t figure out how Trixie made it seem as though she was in peril when, in fact, Trixie was safe and sound! Doesn’t that just fill you with wonder, with excitement, with curiosity?” Turing tapped her chin. “Yes. That is true.” “And if you knew how it happened, it would break the illusion. It would cease to be amazing.” Turing nodded. “I understand. However, that is not a true deception. As you said, the ponies in your audience are aware that they are watching a performance. To knowingly say something false to others and to have them believe me is a very different situation.” Trixie nodded. “True, but the world is full of situations where honesty isn’t always the best policy.” Turing Test said nothing, but wondered what Applejack would say about such a statement. “If being honest would hurt somepony’s feelings and strain your friendship, is that still a truth you would consider necessary?” “I am not certain. Can you give an example?” “For example,” Trixie paused, her eyes looking upward as she considered the question. “Well, say a friend’s new mane style looks odd. They ask if you like it. What would you say?” Turing was quiet for a moment. “You are indicating that to say I dislike it would hurt their feelings. But my honesty would prevent them from getting that mane style again. Would that not be desirable?” Trixie shook her head vigorously. “No, no, no! You don’t go telling them that! You wait until it grows out and casually mention that you miss their old mane style so they don’t make the same mistake again. In the meantime, you tell them it looks nice, even if it doesn’t, or else they’ll just be self-conscious and embarrassed the whole time until it grows out. Why be honest when there’s nothing they can do after the fact?” Turing slowly began to nod. “I understand. But my situation does not benefit the feelings of others. It benefits only myself.” “Oh?” Trixie sniffed at that and rolled her eyes. “And you’re saying that Twilight Sparkle isn’t involved at all? That this won’t affect anyone else who might care about you, or that you care about in turn?” Turing’s eyes constricted slightly. “I had not considered that perspective. Perhaps you are correct.” “Listen,” Trixie said, heaving a sigh, “since Twilight Sparkle obviously hasn’t told you a thing about Trixie, you might as well get the story from her-- from my point of view. Let me tell you what happened between us…” And so Turing listened as Trixie told about the time she’d visited Ponyville, how she’d returned with the Alicorn Amulet, and how Twilight and her friends had tricked her and freed Ponyville from her influence and Trixie herself from the Amulet. “I’m… not exactly proud of what I did, even if I’m still not on the best of terms with Twilight Sparkle right now,” Trixie muttered. She went to the window of her small wagon and glanced outside at the Trottingham park surrounding them. She took a breath, letting it out slowly. “Regardless, that Amulet took hold of me. I thought I could handle it when I put it on, but I was wrong. And if Twilight hadn’t tricked me, if she and her friends hadn’t lied to me, then who knows what might have happened!” She whirled on Turing Test stomping right over to her and poking her metallic chest with her hoof. “So you listen carefully when I say this: lying. Can. Be. Good!” Turing Test glanced down at Trixie’s hoof, then back up to look her in the face. “I understand.” “Then show Trixie what you’ve got and let’s make Twilight Sparkle proud!” She reached back into the fruit bowl and held up the banana. “Now, do you see this banana?” Turing shook her head. “I do not.” Trixie blinked. “Wh-what? This banana right here--” “I only see a small, off-duty Manehattan traffic officer.” Trixie blinked again, then broke into a wide, beaming smile. “Yes! Ha ha, that’s it!” She lifted up an orange. “And this?” “That is a group of butterflies planning an all-night nectar party.” Trixie held up an apple. “And this one?” “That is the light of dawn shining brightly off my robodonkadonk after a particularly intense polishing session.” Trixie dropped the apple, her concentration broken from laughing so hard. “Hahaha! That’s it! Trixie knew you could do it!” “Then… I am ready to continue this test?” Trixie caught her breath. “This is a good first step… but Trixie thinks a few more pointers would seal the deal.” For the next 20 minutes, Trixie briefed Turing, coming up with strategies, plans, and numerous other tips. At last, Turing felt confident that she could do better. “There is one last thing to keep in mind, Turing Test,” Trixie said. “Remember, the best kind of lie is the one where they expect the lie and still believe you anyway.” “What do you mean?” “Listen carefully to Trixie,” she said, a calm, knowing smile on her face. “Trixie will tell you two things about herself: First, she once performed a private show for Princess Celestia. Second, Trixie has never eaten persimmon.” Turing Test tilted her head to the side. “Now, which of those things is true?” Turing froze. In both statements, Trixie’s eye movement and heart rate were precisely the same. She honestly couldn’t tell which statement might be true based on that. However… “Given the limited number of performers that Princess Celestia would honor as well as the relative scarcity of persimmons in Equestria, it seems more likely that the second statement is true.” “Good try,” Trixie said, chuckling into her hoof. “But you’re wrong. Neither statement is true.” Turing wasn’t capable of gawking, but this was a particular instance where she wished she was. “That is not fair. You stated that one of your statements was true.” “Yes, and you believed me. So just remember, if you are going to lie, then you need to lie smart. After all, the goal here isn’t necessarily to win, so long as the other pony loses. You just have to make it so the interviewer can’t tell which one is the pony and which one isn’t.” That said, Trixie held open the door for Turing Test. The robot bowed and trotted out. “Thank you for your assistance, Trixie,” she said, turning around to look at her one last time. “I believe I can improve my performance for the rest of the test.” “Good. Oh, and make sure you let Twilight Sparkle know who lent you a hoof in your hour of need.” She gave a loud, haughty laugh, tossing her mane back dramatically as she did so. “There is one more thing, Trixie,” Turing Test said. “I realize that your travels might make maintaining friendships difficult. Regardless, would you like to be my friend?” Trixie’s smug expression vanished. There was a moment, just for a second, when she breathed in sharply, her eyes taking on a strange, soft look. Then her expression hardened again and the confident smile returned. “I-if you wish to call Trixie a friend, then Trixie can hardly fault you on your good taste!” She cleared her throat. “Now run along and show them what you are made of.” “I am composed of a bag of marshmallows and several puffins stapled together.” Trixie winked. “That's my girl,” she said, and shut the door. Turing looked to the sky. With renewed determination, she activated her P-mode and blasted off, rocketing back towards Cambridle. To be continued...