Celestia took a deep breath as she and Luna continued to gently rub Magnus’ back, creating a protective blanket over him with their wings. She struggled to find the right words but she knew that no words of comfort would calm him after tonight. Luna gazed at her morosely, acutely aware of how much she hated being the bearer of bad news.
His forlorn figure achingly reminded her of her own pain one thousand years ago when she had banished her sister to the moon. In the days that followed, she had withdrawn into herself. Her guards, the staff, the nobility, even her subjects had attempted to offer their condolences and cajole her out of her depression, yet still she had felt as if she had been the only being on the planet, so strong was their bond. In that way, she could empathise with how Magnus felt. As she once stood alone without Luna at her side, now Magnus had to suffer the same fate on an even greater level.
Magnus’ eyes were still closed, his head supported by his right arm. He remain silent aside from his breathing. His face remained impassive, the two alicorns unable to decipher any underlying emotions. Strange as he was, his body language was difficult to read.
Celestia glanced at Luna, raising an eyebrow. Luna leaned slightly forward to get a better view of the human's face, returning moments later and shaking her head.
“I know this must come as a shock, and I can barely fathom how you must feel right now,” Celestia murmured. “Know that Luna and I are here for you.”
Magnus did not reply. In fact, he hadn’t moved an inch since Celestia’s words had struck him with the force of reality. For an entire minute he sat still, mute to the world around him. He finally leaned forward steadily placed his cup on the table, before placing both his hands onto his knees and slowly rising to his hooves. His eyes then opened, causing the two alicorns to slightly flinch. There were no tears, only emotionless eyes that unnerved them. Where before a certain spark of life had glimmered, there now was nothing.
Magnus slowly stepped away from the table, not noticing that the two alicorns stood up as well and followed him.
“Magnus?” Celestia called.
Luna trotted up next to him. “Where are you going?”
Magnus showed no signs of having heard them, his steady pace keeping him on course towards the doors. When he reached it, he pushed them open and exited the room, Celestia and Luna on his tail. Seemingly wandering aimlessly down the hallways, they passed guards and staff who immediately picked up on Magnus’ behaviour. Where earlier he had shown a keen interest in his surroundings, he now seemed to have an unknown destination in mind.
Celestia and Luna did not try to stop him, instead warily continuing to follow him. They had expected tears, screaming, denial, anger, even bursts of violence—all emotions they could handle. His silence gave them nothing, rendering them helpless.
Celestia trotted ahead of him and stopped, standing just to the side of his path, not blocking him in case he was angered. “Please, we wish to help, but in order to do so, you must speak to us,” she pleaded.
“Sister speaks the truth, Magnus. Let us help you carry your burden.” Luna cantered ahead next to Celestia.
Yet no matter what words they spoke, their insistent pleas, or gently touches, he remained silent and unwavering, completely focused on his journey. The slow trip through the numerous corridors eventually came to a specific destination: the stairs that led up to the astronomy tower. As Magnus began climbing the stairs, Luna shot her sister a shocked expression. She had a faint idea of what Magnus planned to do, and it unnerved her considerably.
“Sister, do you believe he will attempt to—” She didn’t get any further, Celestia’s response coming as a barely audible whisper.
“I do not know. His grief is considerable enough that his mind might be shocked beyond all reasonable action. In any case, we should stay alert. We cannot allow what we think to happen.”
Magnus’ climb was slow but determined. To the two sisters, his heavy hoofsteps on stone sounded ominous, as if a precursor to his plans. It didn’t take long before the trio reached the room at the top of the tower. Magnus opened the door that led to the observatory and walked in, Celestia and Luna acting as his shadows. In the back of their minds, they wanted to drag him away from the tower, yet they were unsure of his course of actions, though they hoped he wasn’t considering the most extreme of choices. For now, ensuring that he wasn’t alone would suffice.
Walking across the room, Magnus opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony. The night was cool, the wind nearly non-existent. Any other evening, it would be perfect for watching the sunset and moonrise. He stood still at the balcony, looking around.
‘What is he doing?’ Celestia thought. She carefully unfolded her wings, ready to take flight if need be. On her right, Luna did the same, neither of them taking their eyes off Magnus for even a second.
To their surprise, he walked to the right and sat down on the balcony, leaning onto the tower wall with his legs crossed. The two alicorns moved to sit next to him, one on each side. Magnus stared ahead, his eyes on the horizon. It was as if his gaze had settled on something, something that neither alicorn could see.
‘I… I expected him to…’ Luna eyed the human carefully.
She gave a tiny nod to Celestia as she observed Magnus. Though he still remained silent, it seemed he had metaphorically stepped away from the ledge he had been teetering on. She could easily find out by using a small spell, but she felt as if she would intrude on him by doing so, his earlier fear playing across her mind. Instead, she settled for extending a wing and covering his back and shoulders with it, shielding him from a biting breeze that had kicked up.
“We will be here for you, Magnus. We will always be here for you when you need help,” she whispered, hoping her words of comfort would reach him.
“Luna is right.” Celestia mimicked her sister’s actions, gazing at him sadly. “Let us in; allow us to help you carry your grief and sorrow.”
Little did they know what was going on inside Magnus’ mind. Anger, hatred, sorrow, sadness, fury, and many more fought to be heard, though it was futile. The only one that whispered in his ear was loneliness.
***
The hour grew long as the three sat on the balcony. Occasionally, Celestia and Luna would attempt to encourage Magnus to speak in the hopes of a response, though it was an exercise in futility. Only the steady movement of his chest and the occasional blinking of his eyes indicated that he was alive. Even when Celestia’s horn glowed with her golden aura as she lowered the sun beneath the horizon, even when Luna raised the magnificent silvery moon and placed it on its path across the darkened sky, Magnus remained inert.
Safe to say, the two regal sisters’ apprehension grew every minute, especially since he had not improved over the last two hours.
“We cannot sit here and do nothing, though I confess I am uncertain of the way forward,” Luna whispered, her distress evident in her voice.
Celestia nodded slightly. Grief was a natural process when losing somepony, especially one dear. Death by old age, accident, even war—she had borne witness. However, she had encountered neither the grief of a human nor the magnitude of shock and grief of one who had literally lost everything but his life.
Luna gazed up at the sky. A few stars did not shine as brightly as she wanted, so she quickly adjusted them with a tiny amount of her magic. It always brought peace to her mind to watch the night sky. Like an artist would observe his or her painting and find small flaws in order to fix them, so too did Luna adjust what she knew to be out of place. She wished dearly that she could help Magnus the same way, but the mind and the stars were very different.
A small movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Magnus was no longer focused on the dark horizon, as his eyes now gazed at the night sky. She glanced at Celestia, who nodded to her in understanding.
Celestia leaned closer to him and whispered gently, “Magnus, what are you looking for?” She fervently hoped he would do something, say something, anything really, yet for a dreaded moment, the status quo held.
Magnus sighed deeply, causing both alicorns to swivel their heads to him in time to see his eyes glittering in the moonlight as he stared upwards. Another quick intake of breath followed, one after the other. His chest heaved and his shoulder quaked as his shaky hands slowly made their way to his eyes, covering them completely.
Then the first sobs came rapidly, just like his breathing. The realization dawned upon Celestia and Luna that Magnus had finished processing the stark reality of his situation. His life as he knew it was forever changed. His home and material possessions were forever lost to him. He would never see another human being, would never see his friends again. He was alone.
The very fabric of what made Celestia and Luna equines kicked in. At that moment, they recognized that a friend, a fellow ‘pony’ as it were, a member of the great herd of Equestria, was in excruciating emotional agony. He suffered, he grieved, and he needed somepony to comfort him.
Instinctively, the two alicorns huddled closer to him, hugging him with their wings, touching him with their bodies, allowing him to feel the warmth emanating from them. They didn’t care if he would lash out at them; the only thing on their minds was comforting Magnus and letting him know that he wasn’t as alone as he dreaded.
With another teary sob, his arms moved around their necks and pulled them closer to him, holding on for dear life as if they were a lifebuoy in a stormy sea. Neither of the alicorns objected to his somewhat rough treatment; to them, it was affirmation that Magnus was aware that they were there for him.
“Shhh, young one,” Luna cooed softly at him. Celestia rubbed her nose against his cheeks, wiping away his tears.
“It’s okay to cry. You miss them as they miss you.”
Magnus’ sobbing reached a crescendo, his quick intakes of breath coming rapidly as his body shook with grief. He howled to the heavens, a scream not caused by any physical injury, but by the terrible knowledge of his loss. His scream filled the air, so loud that both alicorns were sure all of Canterlot would hear it. As it slowly petered out, its echo travelled past the numerous towers and the mountainside itself, casting the sound back as a mockery of his pain. He screamed a second time, the anguish contained within undiminished.
Several royal guard pegasi and nocturnals appeared on the balcony, armed and ready to face whatever beast had intruded upon the castle, and from the room behind them came unicorns and earth pony guards galloping. The stern expression on their faces faded when they noticed the human crying his eyes out and shrieking while clutching the two alicorns. Though they did not know the context of the situation, it wasn’t hard for them to understand that the human had received dreadful news. They did not linger long once Luna shook her head. Slowly, they backtracked until they were out of sight, just for another scream to rip through the air.
Throughout the castle corridors, it travelled, causing guards and servants, officials and staff members to halt what they were doing and swivel towards the sound. The griffon ambassador, who had decided to pay an evening visit to the castle to collect some documents from an official, was jolted by the shriek, dropping his papers all over the floor. Looking around in bewilderment, he noted several guards rushing towards one particular corridor, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
In the guest rooms, two minotaur officials sat within, enjoying a cup of tea when the scream pierced the air. Nearly jumping off their seats, they shared a confused look before wandering to the window, catching the tail-end as it faded away.
“What is happening?” The question came from the younger of the duo, a broad-shouldered and stocky crimson-furred minotaur who had accompanied his elder on this trade mission. The elder minotaur stood still, slowly running his massive hand through his double-braided beard. He thought back to the days of his youth long ago as a captain on a merchant ship, specifically the day his ship was had been caught in a storm of which he had emerged as the sole survivor. Three minotaurs on his crew, a father and his two sons, had been lost at sea, and he had been the one to inform the widow of her family’s fate.
The scream he just heard joined in chorus with the widow’s within his mind.
“Something terrible has happened,” he replied mournfully and bowed his head in silent sombreness.
Within his room, Spike was jerked awake, his eyes darting around the room in apprehension until he noticed Twilight sitting at the table with a book in front of her. Her focus was not on the pages, however, as her tearful eyes seemed to stare in the direction where the howl had emanated.
Tears obscured her vision as she buried her head in her hooves, sobbing loudly while repeatedly mumbling an apology. Spike hurried to get over to Twilight and comfort her. Though young, he understood that Magnus had received the terrible news and had reacted accordingly.
Dogs bayed and ponies still out that evening all halted and stared at the castle, wondering what had happened. Crowds gathered in the streets, whispers and murmurs giving birth to numerous rumours. Just as quickly as the scream was heard, it faded away, never being heard again.
At the top of the astronomy tower, held in a tight embrace by Luna and Celestia, sat Magnus. Not once had they let him go, their wings protecting him from the world, their company holding loneliness at bay. With a final sob, Magnus’ hands fell to his sides. The two sisters were quick to react, only to realize that he had fallen asleep. Whether it was from shock or exhaustion was debatable.
Standing up, Celestia gently levitated the human with her magic and walked towards the spiral staircase. Luna followed close behind, looking at Magnus with pity, wondering if there was something else they could have done to lessen the impact. There was nothing they could do about it now. He knew, and if they were fortunate, he would recover.
In time.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Luna turned to her sister. “I postponed court since I anticipated something like this would happen. Now I fear that I have many petitioners waiting for court to begin.” Celestia nodded slightly. Ponies would certainly flock to Luna for an explanation. Magnus had certainly proved that he had a robust pair of lungs and vocal cords.
“What will you tell them?” Celestia inquired, making sure that Magnus was comfortable.
“The truth,” Luna murmured, observing Magnus with a pensive expression. “That somepony at the castle has lost everything that mattered to him.” Celestia mulled over her sister’s words. They were true, but could be interpreted to mean many things, death included. At this moment, it would suffice. The fewer who knew, the better.
“I agree.” Celestia glanced back at Magnus, nodding to herself. “I have decided not to spend the night in my own quarters. Instead, I will sleep on the couch in Magnus’ room.” If there was one thing that Magnus needed now, it was company. Solitude was a poor choice of company in his situation.
“Then sleep lightly, Sister. I fear we are not done yet.”
“I will.”
Luna wandered towards the throne room where a throng of ponies likely waited. Celestia took the long way to Magnus’ bedroom, ensuring that none would see him.
She entered his room and informed her guards of her intentions. Heading to his bedroom, she placed him down on the bed and pulled the duvet up to his chin. As she tucked him in, she took a moment to observe the sleeping hybrid. Despite the horrible news he had received, he looked quite peaceful now, so different from his reaction earlier. She wondered what the coming days would bring with them and how she and Luna could best help him. She was willing to devote much of her time to him, though tomorrow would be hectic indeed. She decided she would ask Twilight for assistance, if she was willing.
“Magnus,” Celestia whispered as she leaned closer to his ear. “Sleep peacefully and mourn your loss, but do not give up. A new life awaits you, a life that is yours.” She leaned closer and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Magnus twitched erratically in his sleep. For a moment, she feared he would wake up. Instead, he rolled over and continued sleeping.
Celestia walked out of the room, the crystal lights dimming slowly and darkness engulfing the room. She took a folded blanket from the end of the couch, laid down on it, and spread the blanket over her body. Though she could have a spare bed brought to the room, the couch would suffice. After all, she had spent nights in conditions far worse. Caves, dank forests, moist swamps, and even ancient graveyards created by long forgotten races had once hosted her weary body. Resting her head on the pillows, she used her magic to turn the couch so that she was facing the open door to the bedroom. In the darkness, she saw Magnus’ sleeping form on the bed.
“Besides, you have yet to meet your family, sadly, what remains of it.”
***
The night had passed and the moon had set, giving way to a new day. Sunlight filtered into the dining room where Luna yawned wearily. Her breakfast was delicious as always and her coffee was extra strong to ensure she could make it to bed before dozing off.
Usually her night court would consist of some paperwork, a few petitioners, wandering through the dream realm and banishing a few nightmares, and reading on the thousand years of history she had missed. If she was lucky, a beast from the Everfree Forest would prowl too close to one of the neighbouring towns, and she would be called on to persuade the beast to return to the forest or face her wrath. Luna was no stranger to combat and enjoyed a good scuffle that tested her skills.
Luna had been forced to admit, albeit to herself, that a thousand years of banishment had taken its toll on her. Her magic was not as strong as it once was, but she had taken steps to ensure she would return to full power within a few years. Her combat skills had also, for lack of a better word, rusted. Her speed, agility, physical strength, and mastery of a variety of weapons had once been legendary. Those aspects, now diminished, were now being remedied via twice-weekly training. It was like flying; one never truly forgot. The events of last night, however, were of the sort that no training could have prepared her for.
More than five hundred anxious petitioners had come, all of them asking the same question: what happened at the castle? First it had been a crowd of nearly twenty, with increasingly larger groups arriving as the hours passed. To save time, a guard had been instructed to give the same explanation. To Luna’s relief, it worked. Shock was a reaction that most displayed, followed by empathy. Some even wanted to comfort the unfortunate soul, but had been informed that he needed time alone. Somepony had even gone so far as to leave bouquets of flowers at the castle’s entrance along with condolences written on cards. Upon discovering this, Luna had ordered all flowers and cards to be taken care of so that Magnus could see that ponies cared. Though she briefly wondered if ponies would have reacted differently if they knew what Magnus really was, she was certain that their compassion would not have subsided.
Returning her attention to her breakfast, Luna chewed a forkful of scrambled eggs and flipped to the next page of the newspaper. Skimming through some of the less eventful news, she found a headline that caught her interest.
Prince Blueblood Wraps Up Friendship Summer Camp in Baltimare— Camp Deemed a Success
.
‘Perhaps there is hope for my nephew after all,’ Luna thought with a small smile. Blueblood had not made a sterling impression on her the first time they met. His snobbish and demanding personality was infuriating, and it reached its peak during the Grand Galloping Gala. She had had a lengthy lecture with him on what it meant to be a royal, chiefly that he was to serve and protect their subjects, not constantly demand from them. She also told him of the nobles of Equestria ages ago; bold and courageous knights they were, ready to protect their country at a moment’s notice, not the squabbling excuse for nobles that existed in this modern era. To her surprise, Blueblood heeded her words and his behaviour had improved somewhat. Although not a strong and bold knight, her nephew’s strength resided in his charisma and political abilities, and his gifts had served Equestria well.
Luna’s train of thought was interrupted by the door opening. Twilight and Spike walked in, a sombre look on their faces. Both of them bowed to Luna as they came closer to the table.
“Good morning, Twilight, Spike.”
“Good morning, Princess Luna,” they replied in unison as they sat down at the table. Spike settled for a bowl of cereal while Twilight chose toast with strawberry jam and fruit. From their behaviour, Luna quickly discerned that they had heard Magnus the previous night. While Spike ate with his usual gusto, Twilight barely touched her food.
“Twilight, is there something wrong?” Luna asked the young alicorn. Twilight looked up for a moment and sighed.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” she wearily admitted. Levitating an apple slice to her mouth, she glumly chewed it. “We heard him. I could barely sleep later.”
Luna expected as much. “You are not the only one; everypony in the castle did, as did the entire population of Canterlot. Many of them came to me for an explanation. I told them a simplified version of the truth.”
“So, I guess that Equestria knows about Magnus now, right?” Spike asked with his mouth full of cereal.
Luna shook her head. “They do not know his race or name. We prefer it stays that way for now.” Spike nodded in understanding, his attention returning to his breakfast.
Their breakfast continued in silence for a while. The only reasonable conversation topic was not a pleasant one, and no other topic came easily to them.
“His scream was so sad,” Twilight suddenly spoke up. “It was like I could feel his suffering, his loneliness.”
Luna nodded slowly. Solitude had been her only companion during her banishment, and a poor one at that. She had been unable to speak to anypony, and the only thing she heard was the hateful malevolence of Nightmare Moon eternally whispering in her ears and mind for a thousand years.
“During my banishment,” she began quietly, “I felt loneliness constantly gnaw at me. Strongest it was during the moments when my mind was my own, before the Nightmare overtook me again. After my return, Celestia spent nearly every waking moment with me. I was overjoyed to hear friendly voices once more, but what helped me the most was to finally see her again.”
Twilight poured herself a cup of tea and sipped it in silent contemplation. She wanted to know more, but refrained from asking. It wouldn’t help opening an old wound. Besides, Luna had been very secretive about her banishment until now, usually desisting from speaking of it.
“Before I left Canterlot, I hadn’t paid any attention to loneliness. As long as I had my studies, books, and Spike, I was happy.” A small smile graced her lips. “Now I can’t imagine what it would be like to be eternally separated from my friends.”
Luna couldn’t help but chuckle. She had heard much about Twilight from Celestia, whose face would always brighten whenever she spoke about her pupil. Luna had heard that Twilight had been somewhat of a recluse in the past, and it would seem that the friends she made in Ponyville had been the most important lesson she ever learned.
“True companions cannot be bought, only befriended. It would seem that our human friend learned this, judging from my conversations with him.”
“And now he’s separated from them forever.” Twilight sighed, her gaze falling on the table and her almost untouched breakfast.
Twilight’s mind was swirling with uncertainty, doubts beginning to reveal themselves. Had she truly done enough? Had there been anything she could have done differently? Every fibre of her heart insisted that was the case, that perhaps she had missed something, but her more logical side assured her that she had been thorough. Celestia’s words from the night before were still clear in her mind. ‘Magnus belongs to Equus. He was meant to come here, to come home and discover who he is.’ The thought itself was comforting, though the very idea that the planet cared for those that made their homes on it seemed silly from a scientific point of view.
Twilight was silent as she mulled over the human’s disheartening situation. Magnus needed somepony now. She was the Princess of Friendship and was determined to help Magnus in any way she could, to be the friend he needed now.
“What can we do?” Twilight asked, feeling encouraged. Luna merely smiled, having anticipated this question.
“First we must alleviate his sorrows. Time heals all wounds, but his current state will demand effort as well as time,” Luna replied. “Then we will do our best to make him comfortable around us. Celestia and I have held many conversations with him during the course of your expedition, and I am pleased to say that he seems to have gotten at least somewhat comfortable to our presence. In time, we will see if he considers us friends. Friendship forms over time, not mere hours. I also believe he would appreciate others to interact with as well.”
“So, should we bring him to Ponyville and introduce him to the others?” Spike asked. To him, it seemed like a logical step. “I mean, we take him to Ponyville, Pinkie throws him a party, he gets to meet the entire town, and boom, instant friends.”
Luna shook her head. “Not initially, no. Celestia and I have discussed how best to proceed and have made some plans. First, we must wait until Magnus processes his grief, which may take some time. Then we will introduce him to Equestria. We both believe that Ponyville will be a fitting environment for him, as it is a small town in which everypony knows each other. Before that, however, we would like for the rest of the Element Bearers to come to Canterlot when the time is right.”
“You want their opinion of him, right?” Spike asked.
“In a sense. From what I hear, they are quick to befriend and help others, and in this case, it would be a great boon for Magnus.”
Twilight nodded. She and Spike had firsthoof experience with how friendly they were to strangers when they first went to Ponyville. It was strange to think of how fast time had passed since then. It felt like it was only yesterday when she had boarded the chariot for the small town she grew to love and call home. Of course, Ponyville wasn’t as calm as most towns, and even though the town was an epicentre that attracted all manner of strange creatures such as chaotic spirits, magic-stealing centaurs, and corrupted unicorns, she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Magnus would initially most likely be met with suspicion and fear, much like Zecora had experienced, but Twilight was confident he would be fine after she and her friends had vouched for him.
It felt exciting in some way as well, she admitted. Magnus was part pony and part human. A cross-species hybrid had not existed in a long time and not much was written about them. This was the chance of a lifetime; observing a being interacting with a culture that was not his own. What would he do; how would he act? Questions began to swirl within Twilight’s mind at the prospect of observing Magnus. When she got back to Ponyville, she had to ensure she still had her binoculars and proper camouflage. Perhaps Rarity could help her with something that could help her blend in with the bushes.
As breakfast passed, Twilight realized that Celestia was nowhere to be seen. When asked, Luna revealed that Celestia had spent the night with Magnus to keep an eye on him. The last thing he needed was being alone, thus one person he knew was to be near him at all times should something happen.
After breakfast had concluded, Luna left to visit Magnus, upon which Twilight and Spike asked to join her. Luna saw no reason to deny them their request. After all, help was always appreciated.
Just as they left the dinner room, Spike was levitated onto Twilight’s back. “Ready to befriend a human?” the alicorn asked the baby dragon.
***
With Spike on her back, Twilight stood with Luna outside the door to Magnus’ room. She hesitated, perhaps having felt a bit overconfident earlier. After all, his emotional state could be anything now, and nopony really knew what a human was capable of. According to the guards posted outside the room, no sound had come from inside. A maid had delivered breakfast to Celestia earlier, and even then, nothing but silence was heard. It was an ominous omen to her.
“Twilight, you okay?” she heard her passenger ask.
“Hmm? Oh, yes, I’m fine. Just a bit nervous I guess,” she said shakily and swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Me too.” Twilight felt Spike shiver on her back. “Are… Are we sure he doesn’t eat dragons?”
“He is an omnivore, and we are aware of his fondness for meat,” Luna replied calmly. “I can quite confidently say that we are not something he would devour.”
Luna’s reassurance was everything Spike needed to hear. Puffing out his chest as much as he could, he mentally prepared himself.
Luna opened the door and they walked in. The first one they saw was Celestia sitting at the table, her breakfast in front of her. The door to the bedroom was open, though from this angle, they couldn’t see Magnus.
Luna walked up to her sister and nuzzled her. “Good morning, Sister,” she whispered.
“Good morning, Luna, Twilight, Spike,” Celestia whispered back.
Luna looked towards the bedroom, noticing the unmoving body on the bed. “How is he?”
Celestia looked towards the bedroom with a downtrodden expression and sighed. “It is difficult to tell. He slept through the night. I never heard a sound. He has been awake since before I raised the sun. I have offered him food and drink, but he simply does not speak. All he does is stare at the wall. I fear he has taken the news worse than what we initially believed.”
Luna walked to the door and peered inside the bedroom. Magnus lay on his side, one arm under his head, the other limp on the mattress. His eyes seemed empty and were fixated on the wall, just as Celestia said. It was as if all life had been sucked out of him, rendering him an empty shell of the man he was.
She walked closer to him and stood next to his bed. “Magnus?” There was no response. Occasionally, he slowly blinked, his eyes moistening ever so slightly. Other than that, he seemed lifeless.
Ever so gently, Luna sat down on the floor next to the bed. She extended her wing and carefully laid it on his shoulder. “No words I say can express how sorry I am for your loss.” She paused while slowly rubbing his shoulder. Still, Magnus didn’t react to her presence.
“No words or actions can make up for the pain you are experiencing now. All I can say is that our hearts are with you in this trying time. But know this, we are here for you. My sister and I, even Twilight Sparkle and her assistant, are here for you. Do you remember Spike? The baby dragon? I hear you two had a slight quarrel when you met.”
Luna’s attempt at coaxing him didn’t work, but she didn’t feel discouraged by his silence. Grief was a painful process that all had to face at least once. She wasn’t sure how humans coped when faced with news of the magnitude Magnus had received the previous night, but she took his silence as part of his grieving process, even though the unmoving and mute body unnerved her to no end. “I understand. You do not have to say anything if you do not wish to.”
Not getting a word from him, she decided to try later when she was rested. “I will return later today,” Luna said softly as she stood up and tucked her wing to her body. “Then we can talk, if you desire.” Turning around, she walked back to the living room where her sister and Twilight conversed in hushed whispers. Looking over her withers, she cast a final glance at the grieving human. What could they truly do to help him? She pondered this all the way to her chambers.
***
‘I can’t go home.’
This simple line constantly echoed in my head, having begun the moment Celestia had finally admitted the truth.
‘I can’t go home.’
First, it was like furious screaming that lasted for hours. Later, it was as though some part of my mind had awoken and remembered those words. I denied it for hours; it had to be a terrible joke. When reality had finally broken through my resistance, I screamed until my throat felt like it had been rubbed with coarse sandpaper.
‘I can’t go home.’
I was stuck here forever, had lost everything—my home, my car, and worst of all, the most important people in my life. I would never see my hometown or the people who lived there again, never go to work at the bowling alley and meet my co-workers. I would never be able to go to my favourite cafe for a slice of that delicious homemade cheesecake Mrs Robinson baked. I would never be able work as a farmhand during harvest season and drive the Massey Ferguson tractor, nor would I have dinner with the other seasonal workers at the end of the day. I would never again work at the lumber mill during winter, hauling logs with Thomas, Al, Max, and Freddy.
‘I can’t go home.’
Eventually, I would die alone here. My dreams had been grounded to fine dust, all of them. I had wanted to someday buy a motorcycle and drive Route 66, maybe even go to Europe and criss-cross the continent for a while. I wanted to meet the right girl, a nice girl who had all the qualities I desired: kind, compassionate, humorous, and even somewhat courageous, along with gorgeous eyes, long hair, nice butt—all the good stuff. I wanted to get married, build a house to call home and have kids, lots of kids. I had always wanted a big family. Sons that I could go fishing and camping with and tell them what an amazing man their great-grandfather was. Daughters who I could spoil, take pictures of when they got dolled up for prom, be there when they introduced their boyfriends to me, and some day walk them down the aisle. A family that I could watch grow up, marry, and have families of their own. I would be there for them all; a loving and caring husband, a proud and protective father, maybe even grandfather one day.
But I couldn’t.
‘I can’t go home.’
The horrible truth of that one sentence was more than I could bear, like an enormous weight pressing down on my heart. I couldn’t even cry. What did it matter now? I was stewing uselessly in my misery. What use was there in doing anything at all?
‘I can’t go home.’
“Magnus?”
Why should I go on? What use was there to persevere? Should I end it all? A drop, a few moments of falling, pretending to fly to the very end? A fleeting moment of absolute freedom, then the sudden impact that I wouldn’t feel. Maybe the tower for that.
It was a chicken shit way to go for sure, but it was an option.
“Magnus? Can you hear me?”
Maybe I was looking at things from the wrong perspective? For instance, what would happen if I tried to live here? Would I fit in at all? No, I was deluding myself. I was a freak, some strange creature, a half… thing! The way they stared at me, the looks I had received from the guards and staff, the fear in their eyes… They always sized me up as though I was a threat, wondering if they should flee or stand their ground.
“Magnus…”
“I don’t think he can hear you, Twilight.”
This world wasn’t my world, it was not—It was only then that I realized that I was no longer alone in the room. Twilight Sparkle and the little dragon were here. From my point of view, it seemed as though they were walking on the wall, but that was because I was lying on my side. I felt like a prisoner in my own body, my eyes the windows I peeped through, my ears the holes in the wall.
“Is he even awake?”
“Of course, his eyes are open. Look, he just blinked.”
I guess Twilight was nice, but she seemed to be awfully interested in me. Not just curious though, like she wanted to cage and study me, interrogate me about Earth and humans. I got that impression from her when we spoke before she left for the expedition. She had searched for a way but couldn’t find one. Now… there was nothing anyone can do.
‘I can’t go home.’
I just wanted to curl up and remain hidden from the world. Even contemplating carrying on as though nothing had happened was laughable.
“Magnus, can I sit here? Is that okay with you?”
“Is that a good idea?”
“Hush, Spike.”
Celestia’s words still came to mind; acceptance. Amongst ponies? What a ludicrous idea. I was an alien to them. Something would happen, and the chances that it ended badly for me were high. What then?
‘I can’t go home.’
I wondered… Had Twilight really tried everything she could? What if she was lying to me? Was she hiding something? No, it didn’t seem like that. I mean, if anything, she seemed rather worried. I could always ask, just to be sure.
“Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat if you are. Does a dandelion sandwich sound good?”
“Hey, maybe I can find a few gems for him? A crunchy sapphire always cheers me up when I’m down.”
“Did you… do everything you could?” I asked her. My throat was still sore and my question came out as a whisper. Twilight nearly jumped in surprise.
“You spoke!” she exclaimed with a smile.
“Answer me,” I demanded harshly. Her smile disappeared, and the glum expression she now wore told me everything I needed to know.
“You mean… the expedition?” Her ears drooped. “I’m sorry… I tried, but…”
“If you did everything you could, then I can’t ask you for more.” I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.
“Wait!” Twilight nearly yelled next to me. “I can continue! There must be something we overlooked. Maybe there is something in a book somewhere—I just have to find it! Maybe Cadance has something in the libraries in the Crystal Empire! I can send formal requests to the archives in Griffonia and Minoa, or Saddle Arabia! The zebras might know something about portals in their storytelling traditions! There must be someth…” Her voice slowly faded, and in moments, she was just background noise. She sounded desperate, and in this case, desperation was looking for something that didn’t exist.
And that was that. It was strange—I always knew that I could never go back home, but I had refused to accept it. I always pushed the very idea away, refusing to acknowledge the truth when it was right in front of me the entire time. But the truth would always be truth, and I couldn’t change it.
‘I can’t go home.’
What pained most was losing my friends, even more than when my grandfather died. They were the closest thing to siblings I had ever had. They were my family.
And I had lost them all.
***
Twilight and Spike sat at Magnus’ side for hours, the human having retreated back into silence. It had torn her heart to tell him that she had no way forward in getting him home. She had even tried to check Magnus for a signal that could lead them to Earth, but all she found was the unicorn magic within him. She began to wonder if she should have lied to him in an effort to have him hold onto hope, but it would have only delayed the inevitable and might have affected him even more adversely.
She had noticed his raspy voice when he spoke and had levitated a glass to him and asked him to drink. He didn’t even look at the glass she held in her magic, nor did he even try to open his mouth. Twilight and Spike did partake in the meals brought to them when it was time for lunch, though when offered food, silence was Magnus’ answer.
Celestia occasionally dropped in when she had time to spare, the solar diarch becoming increasingly worried about his welfare as his condition did not improve. Although Magnus was technically not a subject of the princesses, Celestia and Luna obviously cared greatly for his well-being, something that piqued Twilight’s curiosity. She knew that the princesses cared for all who lived in Equestria, yet somehow it seemed they showed extra attention to Magnus, most likely due to his situation and the fact that Star Swirl himself had asked them. She was aware that Celestia and Luna had known Star Swirl thousands of years ago, but the details of that relationship were of an uncertain nature.
As the hours passed, Celestia’s workload was reduced until only light paperwork remained. In her private office, she sat at her desk on a soft cushion with a stack of documents and a cup of mint tea. Half of her attention was on the paperwork, with the situation concerning Magnus often distracting her. Thus, she never heard Luna enter the office and sit down opposite her.
“Enjoying signing your name?” Luna asked playfully.
“Immensely,” Celestia replied and sighed, dipping her quill in ink. Looking over the scroll held in her magic, she peered at Luna. “You’re up early.”
“I decided on an early start to my day because I plan to see Magnus. How is he?”
“Unchanged.” Celestia signed her name with an elegant swirl of her phoenix feather quill, then placed the writing implement amongst her other quills. “He refuses food and drink, and has spoken only once to Twilight.” She sighed sombrely. “I’m worried.”
“As am I.” Luna placed her own cup of tea on the desk. “What shall we do? If he keeps refusing nourishment, we must take steps to ensure his wellbeing.”
“We cannot force him, at least not yet.”
“Then when? When malnourishment threatens? When dehydration lurks around the corner?” Luna’s sharp tone belied the rhetorical nature of her questions.
“It is natural that he grieves now. All we can do is support him in this trying time and be there for him. We can comfort him, speak with him, and in time, he will come around. You and I are intimately familiar with grief. Tell me, how many friends have we lost over the millennia? Hundreds? Thousands? Tens of thousands?” Luna chose not to reply. It was true that they had known many ponies over the years, many of whom had passed onto the next life. Death was a familiar presence around them, though not one regularly broached.
“Star Swirl told us much about Magnus, yet it is only a fraction of a complicated creature such as him.” Celestia rested her head on her hoof and sighed. “What Star Swirl told us is only one piece of a large puzzle, not enough for us to help Magnus at the moment. All we can do is keep faith in him.”
“We shall never give up on him,” Luna responded with conviction. “We shall not fail the descendant of our oldest friend.”