//------------------------------// // Priority Queue, Part 1 // Story: The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots! // by The Hat Man //------------------------------// Rainbow fluttered down to the crowd amid uproarious cheers and stomping. She was panting and sweat drenched her body, but she lifted her head to offer a victorious grin to the onlookers. She’d flown like a champion and pushed herself as hard as she could have, but in the end she’d won. She’d managed to defeat that machine and proven herself. Despite her tiredness, she couldn’t help but feel elated, even more than usual after winning a race. She waved to the crowd and their cheering became even louder. Just then, she heard the sound of jets and turned to see Turing landing. She came down vertically from hovering and, once she stood firmly on her hooves, she folded her wings back into her body. They clattered and there was the hiss of hydraulics as the panel on her back resealed itself. “Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed her way through the crowd. “You did it! You were amazing! That was the greatest race I’ve ever seen!” “Heh. Thanks, little sis,” Rainbow said, smiling down at her biggest fan. “That wasn’t easy, but…” she stopped momentarily, as she was still trying to catch her breath, “...but it’ll take more than jets to beat me!” With Spike in tow, Twilight had come over to Turing and was smiling at her. “You did very well, Turing. You almost won!” Likewise, Spike gave Turing a thumbs up. “Correct. I believe I have accurately assessed my abilities in flight. Shall I report my findings to you?” “No, we can do that later,” Twilight said, glancing over to Rainbow Dash, whose gaze locked with hers even as the crowd around them nearly drowned them out with their cheers and clamoring to congratulate Rainbow. Her expression turning serious, Rainbow Dash gently pushed through her admirers to approach Turing Test. The crowd went silent as the two competitors came face to face. “So,” Rainbow said slowly, raising an eyebrow, “pretty close race out there, wasn’t it?” “Affirmative. I was unable to overcome the combination of your speed and strategy.” “Yeah, well," she began, polishing a hoof on her coat, examining it nonchalantly, "I guess you were pretty good too.” The crowd seemed to gasp in unison and even Twilight was surprised at the sudden compliment. Rainbow cringed and her eyes darted around. Oh my gosh! Twilight exclaimed mentally. Rainbow has learned to respect her! Now they’ll bond and become friends and-- “--B-but you're still not good enough to beat me!” Dash added quickly, launching herself into the air and looking down at Turing. She grinned and added, “I guess flesh and blood ponies still have the edge on metal ones! But don’t worry, maybe one day they’ll build a faster version of you!” She laughed, drawing a smattering of mutual laughs from the crowd and a scowl from Twilight. “Until then, I’m out! Thanks for coming to the show, everypony!” And with that, she flew off, leaving them all behind. The crowd began to dissipate and Twilight put her hoof on Turing’s shoulder, getting her attention. “Um, sorry about that, Turing,” Twilight said. “I do not understand. For what action are you apologizing, Twilight Sparkle?” “No, not me, I mean--” “Miss Turing Test!” Scootaloo cried, bounding over. “Hey, I just wanted to say that you did really great in the race!” Turing cocked her head at Scootaloo. “You stated earlier that you favored Rainbow Dash in the race. Has that position changed?” “Huh? Oh, no,” Scootaloo replied with a nervous laugh. Then she smiled up at her. “I just mean that you did really well. I still wanted Rainbow Dash to win, but I can’t believe how close it was! You’re really amazing!” Turing was quiet for a moment except for the squeaking of her ears as she processed this. “Understood,” she said. “Thank you for your compliment on my performance.” Then another voice shouted “Yeah, you kicked some serious tail out there, Turing Test!” And another: “That was awesome! Your robot friend is pretty cool, Princess Twilight!” One by one, a small portion of the original crowd stepped forward to congratulate Turing on the race. Turing seemed to finally understand the social convention of thanking ponies for complimenting her, even though she didn’t seem to understand why they were doing so. Twilight smiled at the sight. Even though it was nice to see ponies accepting Turing and even treating her as an equal, she couldn’t help but feel a bit saddened by Rainbow not doing the same. *** Back at her house, Rainbow Dash collapsed onto her bed, her Daring Do book still open on the table next to it. She had already caught her breath and her heart rate had returned to normal, but the intense adrenaline rush from the race still lingered. She sat up and raised her hooves, staring at them as she gingerly flexed her wings. She couldn’t keep them still; she was still too tense. That was too close, she said to herself. That robot almost beat me! If I had lost, then… oh jeez, it’s already stronger than any normal pony, but… I worked my whole life to be the best racer ever! If it beat me, if something other ponies built could beat me, then that would mean… She flopped back onto the bed and rolled over, scrunching herself inward and shutting her eyes. I don’t even wanna think about it! *** Not long after the race, Twilight and Spike were in the study putting the finishing touches on their report to Gadget. “Let’s see, we’ve got her running speed, her calculations, her lifting power,” Twilight was saying, “and her kicking strength!” “Not to mention you got to describe that awesome race!” Spike added. “I really thought Turing was going to win for a minute there!” Twilight smiled weakly at that. “It was a good race and I’m glad that a lot of the spectators took the time to congratulate Turing Test,” she said as she used her magic to fold the letter and deposit it in an envelope. “I just wish that Rainbow Dash had been a little more of a good sport.” “Yeah, that was a little weird,” Spike said. “She’s a hotshot, but she’s not usually so…” “Rude?” Spike made a face as he mulled that over. “Not exactly rude, just… well, is it just me or has she been acting weird?” Spike took the letter from Twilight and scrawled an address on it before applying a postage stamp. “It isn’t just you,” Twilight replied. “She didn’t want to help me measure Turing’s strength, but then tried to watch without us knowing anyway. And then she seemed really impressed and wanted to race and even told her it was a good race, but then she had to say… that.” (“...maybe one day they’ll build a faster version of you!”) Something about that was just so dismissive, so harsh, and it really irritated Twilight to hear one of her best friends say that to her new companion. Not that Turing Test seemed to mind. “Are you delivering the report to the Post Office, Spike the Dragon?” Turing Test asked as Spike passed the little room where Turing had taken up residence. “Yep. It’s not too late in the day, but I want to get over there for the afternoon mail pickup,” he said. He and Twilight poked their heads into the small room. “Hey, this room is really, um… coming together. I guess.” Twilight looked over the area and was inclined to disagree. There was the mirror Turing had been looking in the other day, her crank-operated generator, and a can of metal polish Rarity had brought over for her (apparently it was the least she could do after being unable to provide a fresh coat of paint) laid on a table. There was no bed, no wardrobe, no personal effects, no pictures or posters, nor anything that added a personal touch. The room wasn’t even particularly large. It could have easily been used for storage, but Turing seemed content enough to stay there when she wasn’t doing anything else. “I believe it will serve my needs for the moment.” She turned to face Twilight. “I am currently at less than 15% battery power, Twilight Sparkle. I will require a recharge or I may be forced to shut down soon.” “I guess Spike can deliver the letter while I recharge you. You did use a lot of power today.” “Correct. Flight and magic both consume far more energy than ordinary physical activities.” Spike nodded and turned to leave. “Okay then. I’ll send Gadget the letter. I’m sure she’ll be happy to get it!” And with that, he left. Twilight levitated the cables from the small generator to connect to the nodes on Turing’s back, opening the compartment to access them. “You know, I could also recharge you with my magic,” Twilight said. “Mr Vanderbull showed that to me when we were, um... putting you back together.” Silently Twilight wondered if Turing found that concept as odd as she did. “Yes, but it is a somewhat inefficient process and would require more of your magical energy to transfer it to me than to simply crank the generator. It is, of course, your choice.” “Fine by me,” Twilight said, and began to turn the crank. The dull whirr of the little round device and the hum of electricity was the only sound as the two of them sat like that for a few minutes. “So,” Twilight began, trying to break the silence with some light conversation. “Um, any thoughts on today’s race?” “Clarification required. Do you wish for me to provide further details on the race or specific data points regarding my performance?” “I mean more like… do you have any reaction to Rainbow Dash?” she asked hesitantly. “Now that you’ve met her.” “You informed me that she was both a superior athlete and extremely competitive. That description proved to be true.”  “Uh-huh. Anything else?” “You also informed me that she is the representative of the element of Loyalty. Loyalty is defined as ‘a strong feeling of support or allegiance.’ However, her actions today were inconsistent with this definition. She refused your request for assistance and did not seem to respect your involvement with me.” “Yeah, that’s true,” Twilight said, heaving a sigh. “I wish you could get to meet the Rainbow Dash I know. I don’t know why, but she’s just acting strangely.” The two of them fell silent again as Twilight continued to recharge Turing for several more minutes. “Battery power at 60%, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight nodded and was about to stop for the time being to focus on a less tedious chore when Turing spoke again. “Twilight Sparkle, may I make a request of you?” “Huh? Oh, sure, what do you want?” “I would like permission to speak to Rainbow Dash on my own tomorrow.” The sudden request surprised Twilight enough that she momentarily stopped turning the crank to stare at her. “What? Why do you want to talk to her?” “I am uncertain of why she seems alternately interested in my abilities while also displaying hostility. I have been running calculations and analyzing various strategies to discern how to best approach her.” “Yes, but… why do you want to talk to her?” “It seems clear that you wish for me to bond with Rainbow Dash in the same manner that I bonded with Rarity. This is in line with my primary directive to ‘make friends.’ However, if I am correct in my analysis of her earlier reaction in which she expressed what I have identified as ‘resentment,’ then she will regard any contrivance of yours to make us bond with further hostility.” Twilight was taken aback. “That’s very astute of you. You’re getting better at reading body language!” “Nonverbal communication combined with her declarations allowed me to arrive at this conclusion. However, the difficulty of analyzing such data required time. I was unable to reach such a conclusion until after we returned to the castle.” “So, what do you want to do and how can I help?” “I will enact a plan to form a social bond with Rainbow Dash. I require only your permission to meet with her tomorrow. Do I have it?” Twilight considered this. It seemed like a good idea, but she needed to know one more thing. “Before I say yes, Turing… why Rainbow Dash? Lots of other ponies seem to like you more now. So why her?” Turing was quiet for a moment. “Upon observing her, I experienced something I have not yet been able to analyze. I am not certain if it qualifies as an emotion, but it is clearly significant...” Twilight listened as Turing Test explained what had happened. And when she understood, she knew she had to give Turing her permission. *** The next day, Rainbow Dash was in her home doing her daily wing-ups when she heard a knock on her door. Slightly annoyed at the interruption, she ignored it, hoping whoever it was would go away. But a second, louder knock told her that perhaps she should see who it was after all. “Thunderlane, is that you?” she called, moving through the house to the front door. “You better not be here to bother me on my day off or--” She opened the door widely. “Greetings, Rainbow Dash,” Turing Test said. “I am not Thunderlane.” Rainbow scowled. “Yeah. I noticed.” The mechanical pony stood there, wings spread, her brass hooves sinking slightly into the clouds. Rainbow noticed she continually had to lift her hooves and shift her weight. This created a lot of noise as the servos and gears in her legs moved and shifted. This little “dance” made her look somewhat like a cat preparing a spot on the carpet before going to sleep. “Uh, what are you doing?” she asked. “Please specify.” “I mean why are you moving around like that?” “Understood. P-Mode enables me to fly, but it can also grant me limited cloudwalking ability by diverting some magical energy to my hooves. Titanium is an insufficient conductor of that energy, however, which is why my hooves are a partial brass alloy. It would seem that this is still an imperfect process, as I must make constant adjustments to avoid falling through the clouds.” “So that’s why you’re moving like you’re in line for the restroom,” Rainbow said with a grin.  “I do not comprehend your meaning. My apologies, Rainbow Dash, but may we continue this interaction on the ground? This is an inefficient use of my battery power.” Rainbow wasn’t sure she wanted to continue the interaction at all and she put her hoof to the door, ready to close it in the robot’s face. “I don’t know,” she said, eyeing her uncertainly. “You haven’t told me why you’re here yet. What did Twilight send you here for?” “Twilight Sparkle did not send me.” Rainbow paused, eyes widening. “What? She didn’t?” “Repeating: Twilight Sparkle did not send me. She is aware of my presence here and I am here with her permission, but I came of my own volition. I am here to ask your assistance with another matter.” With a tilt of her head and a long, hard look at Turing, Rainbow Dash finally shrugged and said, “All right, I can give you a few minutes.” She walked out, shutting the door behind her and fluttered to the ground. She looked up and saw that Turing Test had not joined her. “Uh, you coming?” she called up from below her cloud house. “One moment,” Turing said. She was unseen, though still presumably standing outside Rainbow’s front door. “Disengaging P-Mode.” “Wait, what are you--” A moment later, Turing fell through the clouds, hurtling fifteen meters hoovesfirst at the ground. She smashed into the earth hard enough to create small impact craters with her hooves as she landed. She’d bent her knees to absorb the shock, but then straightened them out before walking over to a stunned Rainbow Dash. “You could have broken your legs doing that!” Rainbow yelled. “Negative. The height was not sufficient to cause damage.” “Ugh, whatever, just tell me what you want so we can get this over with.” Rainbow was starting to think this was a waste of time. But then Turing said the last thing she expected her to say. “Rainbow Dash, I issue you a challenge. I challenge you to a second race.” Rainbow’s eyes went wide for a moment, but then she got a smug look on her face. “Heh. Nice try, but you already lost. Just accept it, kid; you’re not as fast as me.” “That is correct. I estimate that with our current abilities, you would prevail upon multiple runnings of the course we flew in the majority of cases. A repeat of the race is not what I propose.” “Wait, you want a different race?” She gave no outward sign, but internally the prospect of another race had piqued her interest. “Affirmative,” Turing replied. “I propose a longer race. Additionally, I have plotted a suitable course for the competition.” Rainbow frowned. “Oh, I get it… you want another race that you think I won’t win just so you can beat me and prove you’re better than me!” She poked Turing in the chest accusingly with one hoof. "I'm on to you!" “Incorrect. My intention is to measure my abilities on a longer flight and gain further data on my ability to adapt to new situations. A competition such as the one we had yesterday seems a reliable way to test those capabilities. An uncertain outcome would be ideal: therefore I have mapped a course that gives a 50% chance of winning to either you or myself.” “Hm.” Rainbow didn’t like to turn away from a challenge and this sounded like a fair fight. But just the same… “So, this is going to be totally fair? How?” “According to the data I received by scanning the Equestrian map in Twilight Sparkle’s castle, I have chosen a course that is long enough to test your endurance, but also goes through terrain with many obstacles, which will be an obstacle to my limited agility. Thus neither one of us has a distinct advantage overall.” “All right, all right,” Rainbow said, still skeptical. She began pacing around Turing in a circle, almost as if interrogating her. “But then that just leaves the question: why should I?” “I was under the impression you enjoyed racing.” “I do. But I still like to race real ponies.” She got right into Turing’s face. “And I don’t think you count. It’s like a swimming race against a boat… it doesn’t exactly prove anything.” “This reaction is unexpected. How may I entice you to participate, Rainbow Dash?” Turing asked. “Do you require some sort of compensation?” Rainbow grinned mischievously. “Heh. Something like that. How about we make it interesting with a bet?” “Bet.” She said the word and tilted her head. “You mean a wager. You propose some sort of exchange where the loser is indebted to the winner. That may be acceptable. What are your terms?” “Glad to see you’re not chicken,” Rainbow laughed. “And before you ask, no, I did not mean that literally!” “...Understood. Inquiry regarding yard fowl cancelled.” “Right, right. Okay, if you win then… um… well, what do you want?” “Analyzing inquiry… nothing is required.” “Oh come on!” she exploded, launching herself into the air. “That’s just like a machine! What’s the point of a bet if there’s nothing to lose?!” “Very well. I propose that you refrain from simply calling me ‘robot.’ While I have no emotional reaction to it, the use of the term seems to upset Twilight Sparkle. Therefore, in all subsequent interactions, you must refer to me as ‘Lady Turing.’” Rainbow Dash nearly choked. “Have you got a screw loose?!” “All screws are accounted for.” “No, I mean-- gah, you know what, it’s fine! Because I’m not going to lose, so it doesn’t matter! And as for me, if - or rather, when - I kick your can all over the skies of Equestria, then you have to promise to leave me alone and never bother me again!” Turing was silent for a moment. Her ears squeaked as they moved, but otherwise, she remained still. For a moment, Rainbow thought maybe she’d hit a nerve. But that was impossible, she knew, so maybe Turing was just thinking about it. “While my daily interactions with Twilight Sparkle may at times intersect with yours, I believe I am able to restrict such instances to a minimum. Your proposal is satisfactory. Should you be successful, I will seek no further interaction with you, Rainbow Dash.” “Then you’ve got yourself a race!” She put out her hoof, expecting Turing to hoof-bump her. But Turing only looked down at her outstretched foreleg and then back up at her, cocking her head to one side. Finally Rainbow put her hoof down and sighed. “So, where are we racing to?” *** The two of them were gathered on the balcony of Twilight’s castle. Spike and Twilight were both present as the two competitors readied themselves. For Rainbow, that consisted of stretching her legs and wings and psyching herself up. For Turing Test, it consisted of standing there waiting for Rainbow Dash to finish doing those things. “So, you’ve got it all down?” Twilight asked Rainbow Dash. She held up the unfurled map once more. “You fly from here, then through Whitetail Woods while staying below the treeline, then a long flight north following the Tolfetano River through Crumble Canyon--” “--until I get to the fork in the river and then fly up through Frostmane Mountains and then back south to fly through Ghastly Gorge and then we end up back here, yeah, I got it!” Rainbow Dash smiled to Twilight confidently. “Relax. I’m not going to get lost.” “Okay, okay, just making sure,” Twilight said with a smile. “It is a pretty long distance. Turing says it could take two-and-a-half to three hours.” “Nothing I can’t handle. So, in the meantime, you’re sure you had nothing to do with this?” Rainbow asked, narrowing her eyes at her. Twilight frowned and put her hoof to her chest. “Yes! It was all Turing’s idea. Cross my heart and hope to fly--” “All right, fine, I believe you,” Rainbow said. “Still no idea what your robot wants to learn from this. But whatever, at least when I beat her I won’t have to worry about it anymore.” “Wait, what do you mean?” Spike asked, taking the words right out of Twilight’s mouth. “Turing and I made a bet,” Dash explained, her expression smug. “That is correct,” Turing added. “Rainbow Dash and I entered into a wager. Should I be victorious, she will thereafter call me ‘Lady Turing.’” “Ha! Oh that’s a good one!” Spike laughed. “The intent was not to be humorous. Is that relevant?” He shrugged. “Uhh, I guess not… wait, what if you lose?” “If she loses,” Rainbow said, cutting in, “then she has to leave me alone from now on!” “What?!” Twilight and Spike cried in unison. “Correct. In the event of loss, I have agreed to no further interaction with Rainbow Dash.” “Now hold on,” Twilight shouted, stepping between the pair, intending to end this race before it began, “I’m not going to allow--” “Sorry, Twilight, but it’s out of your hooves,” Rainbow said, cutting her off. “After all, it’s an agreement between racers. Verbal contract or something like that. You know how it is.” “But--” “There is no cause for concern, Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash and I have equal chances of victory. I will make my best attempt to obtain a favorable outcome.” “Likewise,” Rainbow said. “Look, let’s just get started. We’re not getting any younger!” “That is true: time continues to move chronologically forward. Let us begin. Will you give us the prompt to begin, Twilight Sparkle?” “I… I guess so. I really wish you two hadn’t made this bet without letting me know, though.” “Welp, too late, bet’s made!” Rainbow said hastily. “Let’s go already!” “Fine,” Twilight sighed as Rainbow and Turing both lined up next to each other. Turing had her wings out and her jets had already engaged. “On your marks… get set…" Twilight swallowed, tensing up as she uttered the last word: "Go!” And Twilight and Spike could only watch as the two of them soared off into the blue sky and vanished over the horizon. To be continued...