“Bye! Thank you so much for coming!” Twilight said as she waved to the Press and the Mayor as they departed the castle. “We hope you found tonight, um… interesting!”
They all waved back as they ventured into the night, likewise smiling, though their smiles looked forced. Twilight didn’t blame them, of course; the night hadn’t exactly gone smoothly. Furthermore, she realized as she turned back inside to return to the room, she would have to deal with her friends’ reactions now that the newsponies had left and they were sure nothing they’d say would end up in the paper.
Naturally, Applejack was the first to speak: “Are you outta yer mind?!” she shouted, tapping her own head for emphasis. "This thing? Make friends?"
Twilight looked to the automaton as it sat nearby. It was watching them all, swiveling its head to instantly lock on to whoever was speaking, which was a bit unnerving. Still, she took a breath and decided to show her resolve.
“I am perfectly rational, thank you, Applejack,” she replied, holding her head up high. “We put this machine together and she is capable of so many things, so why not friendship?”
“That’s actually a good question,” Gadget said, rubbing her chin. “It does show remarkable intelligence and autonomy, so maybe it could.”
Rainbow Dash scoffed loudly. “Yeah, right! Did you see how it ‘made friends’ with Fluttershy? She just screamed and ran out of the building!”
“Well, admittedly, that’s not an abnormal reaction from her even to normal ponies,” Rarity said. She turned back to face Twilight, pursing her lips. “Though, to tell the truth, I have to agree, Twilight. This does seem a little unrealistic.” She noted the automaton staring at her and she shuddered. “And that’s putting it mildly.”
“Okay, so she’s got a lot to learn,” Twilight admitted with a roll of her eyes, “but it’s not fair to not give her a chance! Maybe she just needs practice!”
Vanderbull coughed, getting their attention. “I confess, Princess Twilight, I thought at first this ‘friendship’ idea was merely a ploy to placate Princess Celestia, should she wish to confiscate the automaton. However, it seems you are serious." He hesitated and avoided looking her in the eye momentarily. "While Gadget and I are quite sure it can think somewhat independently, I must warn you that we have no indication that it is at all capable of having emotions. That, as they say, is a horse of a different color.”
“And in this case, it’s metallic gray!” Pinkie added.
Twilight considered this, scratching her head. “Well, we could just try asking her,” she suggested. They all turned to the automaton. “Um, Unit 003, is it?”
“Affirmative.”
Twilight flinched at the sudden, stiff response, but continued. “I’d like to ask you something. Do you have emotions?”
The circles of the automaton’s eyes narrowed momentarily. “Checking current functions… no emotions detected.”
“See, I told ya so!” Applejack exclaimed, stomping her hoof. “How can ya teach friendship to somethin’ that can’t even have emotions?!”
“That phrasing is incorrect,” the automaton intoned, catching them off guard. “This unit is not currently experiencing emotions. However, no query was put forth as to whether or not such a function was possible.”
Twilight, Vanderbull, and Gadget exchanged wide-eyed glances. “Okay then, 003,” Twilight said, leaning gently towards her, “let’s find out. Is it possible for you to have emotions?”
“Checking query,” it said, its eyes narrowing once again as the noise of gears and things inside it grew louder, as did the slight electric hum coming from it. They stood and waited… and waited… and waited for it to respond.
“Ugh,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “Is this thing ever going to--”
“Systems scanned. Query analyzed,” the machine said, startling them again with its abruptness.
“And…?” Twilight asked. They all leaned in, eager to learn the result.
“Results inconclusive,” it said, drawing a giant sigh from everypony in the room.
“I don’t understand,” Rarity said, turning to Twilight with a furrowed brow. “How can it not know if it can have feelings or not?”
“I know, right?” Pinkie Pie agreed. “I can always tell how I’m feeling! But then I’ve had lots and lots of practice feeling all sorts of things!”
“Hey, that might work!” Twilight said, her head raised as a look of inspiration dawned on her. “Pinkie Pie is right! We've all had lots of practice, so maybe Unit 003 just needs more experiences to learn emotions!”
“The possibility exists,” the machine said. “This unit is capable of learning and imitating ponies through observation and analysis. Emotions could be included in this.”
“Emotions don’t work that way, ya darn machine!” Applejack exploded. “There’s more to emotions than just imitatin’!” She turned to Twilight, seething. “Twilight, this thing is a dangerous hunk o' metal and nothin’ more! You can’t teach it to have feelings or make friends any more than you could teach a rock!”
“Ooh,” Pinkie murmured. She put a hoof to her mouth and whispered, “Don’t ever let Maud hear you say that, or--”
“Whatever!” Applejack shouted. “Shoot, this thing doesn’t even have a proper name!”
“I am identified as Unit 003M, indicating that--”
“Like I said, not a PROPER name!" Applejack shouted, whirling back around to face the machine. "That ain’t a name, it’s just a number!”
Twilight nodded, tapping her chin. “That's true, that's true..."
"Huh? What is?" Applejack asked.
"You might be right about one thing, Applejack,” she said, turning slyly to the automaton. “Calling her ‘Unit Zero Zero Three’ sounds odd. Come on, everypony, let’s think of a new nickname for her! It could be fun!”
The room went silent. Applejack and Rainbow Dash just looked at Twilight sideways, their eyebrows raised. Luckily for Twilight, the others were far more enthusiastic.
“Brass Starlight!” Gadget shouted. “It’s such a cool name and it’s also pretty and it also sounds a little bit like your name, Princess, because you know ‘Twilight?’ ‘Starlight?’ it totally works!”
“Hm,” Twilight said, considering the first suggestion. “No. You're right that it’s a pretty name, but it just doesn’t seem to fit her very well.”
“Perhaps something a bit more descriptive?” Vanderbull offered. He rubbed his horn as he mulled it over. “Brass Hooves?” He pointed at the automaton's hooves, which, as everypony could see, were made of brass.
“Too mundane,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Sorry, Mr. Vanderbull, but there are a ton of ponies with the last name ‘Hooves.’”
“Well, we could name it ‘Smith,’ since some form of metal smithing went into making it and Smith is, after all, quite a rare name in Equestria.”
“No, no, come on, let’s come up with something a little more catchy!”
Rarity was next to make a suggestion. “I have it! ‘Amethyst Gleam!’ Her eyes are amethysts, correct? And they are gleaming, aren’t they?”
They all looked to the automaton, noticing the brightness of its purple eyes.
“Well…”
“That statement is inaccurate,” it said. “This unit is equipped with lenses shaped from amethyst, but the light emitted is not a true reflective gleam, but the glow of electric filaments designed to detect energies and light beyond the normal pony visible spectrum.”
They all stared at it.
“I guess that’s out then,” Twilight sighed.
“A pity,” Rarity added, sighing right along with her.
“Gear Shift?” Spike proposed. Twilight shook her head. “Top Gear?” he tried again.
“No, something at least descriptive of her!” Twilight said, gesturing to it.
“Heh,” Applejack chuckled, “then how ‘bout ya just name it Junk Heap?”
This got Rainbow Dash snickering. “Oh, or maybe Rust Bucket!” she added.
“Ha! Good one, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack laughed.
Twilight stared daggers at the two of them. “Come on, Applejack, Rainbow Dash! You both have a lot of creativity, can’t you think of something more, I don’t know, feminine?”
Applejack considered this, shutting her eye and scratching her head, and Twilight thought she might be taking it more seriously.
“Jalopy Jane!” she exclaimed, bursting into laughter, which soon spread to Rainbow Dash.
“Okay that’s--”
“No, no, wait, I’ve got one, AJ: Clanky!” Rainbow shot back. “Because it keeps making noise every time it moves!”
“Ha! How ‘bout Motorhead?”
“Wind-up!”
“Tin Can!”
“Hahahaha! Wait, I got it, AJ: Twilight wants feminine? How about ‘Enginiffer!’”
“WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT?!” Twilight shouted, silencing the pair’s attempts to outdo each other as she slammed her front hooves on the floor. “If you’re not going to come up with serious names, then maybe you should just leave!”
Applejack shrugged her shoulders. “Fine by me,” she said, standing up. She began making her way to the door. “Don’t take it personal, Twi, but I just don’t think that machine” here she narrowed her eyes at the automaton, “is capable of anything but calculatin’ and talkin’ funny.”
As Applejack walked out of the room, eyes turned to Rainbow Dash. “Ehh, I’ve gotta admit, Twilight, I kind of agree with AJ." She sighed and offered her a smile. "Buuut I’ll still stick around if it means we get to choose an awesome name!”
Twilight smiled, though she gave one last look at the door after Applejack was gone. Regardless, they were still no closer to settling on a name, so she turned to the only one so far who hadn’t suggested a name.
“Pinkie?" she asked gently. "Do you have any ideas for a name?"
Pinkie tapped her noggin, sticking her tongue out and squinting one eye as she thought. “Ummm… ooh, how about ‘Autumn Eight!’ Get it, because it sounds like ‘Automate!’ Hee hee!”
Twilight nodded appreciatively. “The ‘eight’ part doesn’t quite fit, but that’s pretty clever, Pinkie! That's the spirit! Okay, come on, everypony, we can do it!”
“I know, I know,” Gadget said, “we could name her ‘Aya,’ since she’s an artificial intelligence, or A.I., just like the character in that great movie serial, ‘Green Lampony: The Animated Serial!’”
“Oh my gosh, I love that serial!” Spike gushed, jumping over to her. “Can you believe they cancelled it?”
“I know! And on a cliffhanger!" she groaned, tossing her head back. "Oh, it was so romantic and sad and I wanted to know if her boyfriend would ever find her--”
“--and if he was really going to become a Blue Lampony! Well, I’ve got a theory that--”
“Gadget!” / “Spike!” Vanderbull and Twilight both said in unison, silencing the prattling of their respective assistants.
“Ugh, why is this so difficult?” Twilight groaned, rubbing her temples. “Does anypony have something else? Anything good?”
Vanderbull scratched his head before suggesting: “Ironsides?”
“My lateral external hull is largely composed of alloys other than iron, such as--”
“Yes, yes, fine,” Vanderbull said with a roll of his eyes, cutting off the automaton.
“Uh, Electric Charger?” Spike offered.
“No, no, no!” Twilight said, shooting that one down. “We want something that sounds less like an appliance.”
“Copper Clock?” Rainbow suggested.
“Same basic problem, so no.”
“Welllll,” Rarity began, searching her thoughts, moving her hoof in a circular motion, “it’s made of clockwork, so… maybe something more simple and elegant like… ‘Spinning Cog!’”
They were all silent at that. “Hey, that’s not bad, Rarity!” Twilight said, lifting her head as she smiled. She turned to the automaton. “Any objections, 003?”
The automaton again tilted its head and shifted its ears. Twilight was starting to understand that this was something it did when it was confused… or maybe just didn’t immediately know how to answer the question. She thought it was rather cute. Maybe she could warm up to this machine, and soon the others would--
“The name is acceptable,” it intoned.
“Hurray!” Twilight cheered, kicking her legs in the air. “Everypony, I now officially present Spi--”
“However, its accuracy is offset by the illogicality of naming this unit for only one of its parts, and one that is not outwardly significant.”
Rainbow Dash groaned. “This thing speaks more Egghead than you, Twilight. What’s it saying?”
“Clarifying: to put it in terms you might understand, it would be the equivalent of naming a pony ‘Functional Intestine.’”
The room was silent as a tomb as each of them made a face.
“Ech,” Rarity said, breaking the silence as she made a gagging motion. “Well, we can’t possibly use ‘Spinning Cog’ now! I’ll never be able to get that name out of my head if we do.”
Twilight collapsed, sliding to the floor in frustration. “Okay, I give up. Maybe I’ll have some better ideas in the morning. That’s it for now, everypony, thanks for coming!”
***
As Twilight led her guests to the door, chatting all the way, Vanderbull had his own business to attend to. “Gadget?” he whispered, getting his assistant’s attention.
“Hm? Yes, Commodore?” she asked, raising her head to smile at her mentor.
“Come with me, please, I’d like to speak with you in private.”
“Huh? O-oh,” she said, lowering her ears, thinking she’d done something wrong.
When they were out in the hall, Vanderbull continued what he had to say. “I realize it has been an abnormally long day and I can tell you are tired, but I want you to do one last favor for me before we turn in for the evening.”
“Ah, of course, sir!” she said, snapping to attention. She smiled, realizing that she was apparently not in trouble.
“I’d like you to go to the local telegraph office and have word sent to Alfredo to bring the private train tomorrow around 9 or 10 o’clock at the latest. It’s time to return home.”
“You… you’re leaving, sir?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, puzzled by this sudden decision.
“No, actually," he swallowed, "we are leaving. We have to get back to work.”
“But… but what about the automaton?!” Her eyes went wide and she tensed up and her breathing became rapid.
“Gadget, we--”
“Please, sir, we have a fully functioning intelligent automaton in that room! This is a lifelong dream of mine!” She placed a hoof on her chest.
“Well, young as you are, that’s not really so long,” he replied jokingly. The humor was lost on her.
“But there is so much to learn and we can study this machine directly! We have to stay!" she cried. "I have to find out more!”
He cleared his throat and looked at her sternly. “Gadget...”
“Please, sir!” she cried, bursting into tears and actually latching onto his leg. “Please please please let me stay!”
“Gadget, control yourself!” he snapped gruffly, clenching his fists. He shook his leg slightly, causing her to let go. “Look at yourself. Begging? Really, I thought I had taught you to compose yourself more professionally.”
“B-but…” she blubbered.
“This is why I called you out here; I had a feeling you would react this way and the last thing anyone needs is to see you making a scene." He sighed, rubbing his temples, but tried to soften his tone. "Now, I am very sorry; and you're right that the automaton truly is a treasure of science. There’s a wealth of knowledge to be had here and if there was any way we could take it with us, then you can be sure that is what I would do." He stood up straight and straightened his tie. "However, that mechanical pony belongs to Her Highness. For now, she will take charge of it, not us.”
“Do you… I’m sorry, I hate to doubt Princess Twilight," she said, choking back another sob, "but do you think the automaton really can learn to be friends with ponies?”
“In all honesty, I think it’s a bit of a waste of time,” he said quietly, glancing down the hallway. “But that’s not important. What matters is that Princess Twilight has a reason, in fact the best reason, for keeping the automaton safe, as far as Princess Celestia is concerned. I believe that Celestia would likely confiscate it from anypony else who laid claim to it, including us. Twilight Sparkle, however, is still royalty and friendship is her domain, and if I know Celestia, then she will respect that. We can let it be and, should Princess Twilight decide that she can’t teach the machine friendship, then hopefully by that time Princess Celestia will have overcome her initial fear. Then we can take it back to Manehatten.”
“That could work,” Gadget admitted reluctantly, lowering her head. “But in the meantime, the testing--”
Vanderbull silenced her with a raised hand. “In addition to her own goal, I’m sure Her Highness, with her equal love of science, would be willing to conduct some experiments on our behalf."
“I… yes, sir, but… how can you just leave it in someone else’s hooves?” She removed her glasses and wiped her eyes on her sleeves, finally getting better control of herself. “Don’t you want to see what it can do firsthand?”
“Yes, and that’s why I came in the first place. But the truth is that we came at a fairly bad time." He sighed. "I would never have taken time away from the business had it not been for how special this discovery is. Now I need to return to work. That blasted Rockefoaler is demanding a deeper discount for shipping his cargo on the train lines, Dodge Junction needs more security from bandits, and we really need to establish more stops for refueling on the way to Appleloosa. Do you know that they still need to have stallions pull the train for the last leg of the trip just to conserve fuel?”
She made a face. “Still? Also, Rockefoaler? That guy gives me the creeps.”
“Yes. And I think he wants to take this bull by the horns." He pointed at his own horns for effect. "So now you see why I need to be back.”
“Then why can’t I at least--”
“Gadget, listen carefully: we did not get the information we were after tonight. We still do not know who built this marvel or for what reason. And that could be a serious problem. I need you to go off the list of parts incorporated into the automaton and try to determine who had the means, knowledge, and time to build it. Nopony else has that sort of encyclopedic knowledge or the skill to find the answer quickly. My young friend, I am serious: I need your help, and you will be helping Princess Twilight as well.”
She swallowed and bowed her head. “Y-yes sir. I’m sorry, I just got too excited.”
Vanderbull smiled. “Nothing so wrong with that,” he said, ruffling her messy mane affectionately. “Your zeal for science is admirable. The world needs more excited enthusiasts. But in the meantime, we must play it safe until we are certain that the danger has passed.”
“Right, Mr. Vanderbull.” She smiled weakly and saluted. “I’ll head to the telegraph office.”
“And I’ll let Princess Twilight know our plans and thank her for her time. I’m certain she’ll be eager to get on with her new project.”
***
That night, Twilight was lying in bed, tossing and turning. She’d been asleep, but had finally woken up after some half-remembered nightmare. There was some metallic sound, she remembered that much, and then… she couldn’t remember. Her troubled thoughts were making it hard to settle down.
This is all off to a rough start, she thought. The whole evening had been a mixture of success and failure, she supposed. On one hand, they had managed to reactivate the automaton, but Unit 003 had no useful information for them. They discovered that it really was intelligent and could interact without someone controlling it, but it wasn’t exactly endearing with its cold, mechanical voice and stiff mannerisms. It didn’t seem dangerous, but she had to admit she was feeling more nervous now that Vanderbull had told her that he and Gadget were leaving. Without their help, she was the only one who even seemed to care about protecting it or teaching it anything.
She remembered what Applejack had said: “I just don’t think that machine is capable of anything but calculatin’ and talkin’ funny.” Those words were starting to sink in.
How did I expect everypony to react? she asked herself, turning over in her bed. Unit 003 is a machine, after all. And right now, Applejack is right; she can't do much at all. But maybe with some practice I can teach her to act more normally around ponies. Maybe…
“Augh!”
Twilight sat up at the sound of Spike’s yelping and was even more startled when he jumped onto her bed, looking like he’d just seen a ghost.
“Spike? What in Equestria are you do--augh!” she screamed as she looked up, her eyes going wide as she clutched the bedsheet.
There, at the foot of her bed, a pair of seemingly disembodied violet eyes stared at her, glowing brightly in the darkness, practically boring a hole into her very being.
“Good evening, Twilight Sparkle.” The machine spoke as though Twilight had simply awoken from a light nap, rather than getting scared half to death.
“T-twilight?” Spike whispered, gripping her tightly as he stared at the thing. “What is it doing in the bedroom?”
“I… 003?" Twilight asked, just as unnerved as Spike was. "Were you… were you watching me? While I slept?”
“Affirmative.”
She blinked. “Why?!”
“You have not given me any new orders. It seemed logical to be prepared to receive my next orders as soon as you awakened to give them. Furthermore, in your unconscious state, you were vulnerable. To better serve my end user, I determined that I should stand watch in case of danger.”
Twilight blinked several times. What does it think I need protection from? Is it normal for an automaton to be paranoid?
“I have also been closely monitoring your biological functions," 003 continued. "Your breathing and heart rate seem normal. Also, judging by the sounds emitted by your tract, are likely digesting your most recent meal sufficiently.”
Twilight made a face, crossing her forelegs over her belly. “Get out of my room!” she screamed indignantly. “You nearly gave me and Spike a heart attack!”
“Now exiting room. In clarification, though your heart rates increased upon waking, there is no indication of cardiac arrest.”
It turned, the shine from its eyes dimly illuminating the room as it moved to the door. The gears and things inside it were heard with each metallic step that echoed throughout the room. When it reached the door, it opened it and then stopped to stand in the doorway, creating a strange black silhouette, its purple eyes going back to that same piercing stare.
“What are you doing now?” Twilight demanded, growing more and more irritated.
“I have left your room, Twilight Sparkle. I will now resume monitoring you. I await further orders when you regain consciousness.”
“Oh for pony’s sake!” Spike exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “Can’t you just go to bed or something?”
“I am capable of going into a low-powered ‘sleep mode’ to conserve power when not occupied, if that is what you request. However, I would be unable to stand guard capably if placed in such a state of low function.”
“Look, that’s fine,” Twilight said, rubbing her eyes. “Just go back downstairs and go to sleep. Sleep mode. Whatever!”
“Understood. Proceeding to location. You may reactivate me by addressing me or simply tapping my cranial hull. Auditory sensors will enable me to reboot quickly.”
“Yes, okay, go!” Twilight said, just wanting the automaton out of her bedchamber. She watched as it turned around and walked away. She heard it clanking and the gears turning even as it went down the hall and then on every last step right until it finally made it downstairs.
“That thing creeps me out,” Spike whispered once he was fairly certain 003 was out of hearing range.
“I know,” Twilight said. She shivered, holding herself. "What kind of pony just watches somepony else while they sleep like that? Not even the Royal Guard does that with Princess Celestia! She at least has some privacy!"
“And I don’t think our other friends like 003 very much either,” he added, hopping off her bed and returning to his own.
“Well, that’s too bad, because she’s going to stay with us for a while." She groaned, falling back on her bed. "Let’s just try to get back to sleep, okay?”
But inwardly, even she was starting to doubt her capability of teaching it how to interact, let alone teaching it friendship. She settled back into bed, however, and let herself relax. The warmth of the sheets wrapped around her was comforting and soon the regular breathing coming from her assistant lulled her to the edge of sleep.
It’s down there.
Her eyes went wide as that one thought suddenly came to the surface. You don’t know who built it, but that machine with no feelings and a mind of its own is downstairs. It is in your house and even when it “sleeps” it can still hear you, which means it isn’t really asleep at all. It was watching you. It will keep watching you. It will imitate you. She shut her eyes even tighter, trying to ignore the doubts as they worsened. It may one day decide to replace you. That thing is down there, waiting, and it will never stop thinking, and the moment it feels threatened, it may turn on you. The thing that can shatter rocks with its hooves might turn on you.
She popped open one eye and looked around. There was nothing in the room, no purple eyes, no gears turning.
She told herself that there was nothing to be afraid of. Nevertheless, it was another hour before she finally nodded off, and she only fell asleep then after utterly wearing herself out as she struggled with all the possible outcomes of what would happen to herself and her friends all because she had let that horrible thing into her house.
***
Twilight opened her eyes. The room was quiet now, and not even the sound of Spike’s breathing could be heard. She sat up in bed, levitating the sheets off of herself. She stretched out, yawning and smacking her lips. The room was brighter now as the sunlight ebbed through the windows. With a look around, she confirmed Spike was not in the room.
And then that thought struck her. Spike wasn't there.
“Spike?” she asked uncertainly. She stepped out into the hallway. “Spike?” she called again, her voice echoing in the hallway. The events from last night still haunted her. That machine. The eyes. It had been in her room. What if it had returned? What if it had done something? What if Spike had done something and accidentally triggered its self-defense mode again and then…
Her eyes went wide. “Spike!” She was shouting his name now, and she grit her teeth, eyes wide as her panic began to grow. She galloped down the hallway and then to the stairs. She didn’t even bother to take them but instead teleported down them and looked all around. Wait a minute, she thought, didn’t I tell 003 to go downstairs? But then… where is it? And then she heard a sound coming from the kitchen.
Carefully, moving slowly and stealthily as she could, she made her way to the kitchen and let her magic gently envelop the door handle. She took a deep breath and then threw it open violently.
“Where’s Spike?!” she bellowed, bursting into the kitchen.
In front of her, to her surprise, was Gadget. She had the Point Dexter on again and she appeared to be using her various mechanical hands to make breakfast. A few hands were cooking and seasoning an omelette. Another pair was mixing some batter in a bowl. The poor girl nearly dropped all of her things in fright when Twilight burst into the room. “Oh! Um, good morning, Princess Twilight!” she said, laying a foreleg on her chest. “Did you sleep well?”
“Gadget?” she asked. “What’s going on?”
“Um. I thought I’d make breakfast for you and Spike. If that's okay, I mean." She coughed and looked slightly to her right. "And, um... Spike is actually behind the door.”
Twilight turned and let the door shut. Apparently, in her haste to open it, she had accidentally smashed the poor dragon behind it, upending the platter of toast he had been carrying in the process.
“Oh my gosh, Spike, are you okay?” she asked, rushing to his side. “I’m so sorry!”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said, grunting as he brushed the butter, jam, and toast off himself. “This toast is toast, though.”
“Ha!” Gadget laughed, turning back to her cooking. “I bet Miss Pinkie would like that joke!”
“Wait, a minute,” Twilight said, shaking her head, still feeling slightly panicked. “Where is the automaton?”
“What do you mean, Twilight? 003 is right there,” Spike said, pointing to the other end of the kitchen.
Twilight turned and shouted in surprise.
The automaton was standing by the counter, squeezing an orange over a pitcher, slowly juicing it between its hooves. “Good morning, Twilight Sparkle,” it said. “Your heart rate indicates distress. Are you injured or do you require assistance?”
“I… no, but… what are you…" She turned from it, deciding she wasn't in the mood for its odd answers. "Er, Gadget, what is it doing?”
“Making orange juice,” she replied casually.
“Affirmative," 003 said. "I am exsanguinating oranges for consumption of their juice. It is part of a complete breakfast.” It finished juicing one orange, set the flattened fruit down, and picked up another, methodically juicing it in the exact same way.
“What? Why?”
“Gadget Giroux reactivated me 34 minutes and 29 seconds ago by means of mentioning my name and enlisted me to assist with the preparation of the meal.”
“She said she wanted to stand guard by the door in case of intruders for whatever reason," Gadget added, "but then I convinced her to help me out.”
“That is correct. As an organic being, Twilight Sparkle requires regular intake of sustenance. It was logical that I contribute to the well-being of my end user toward that goal.” It finished juicing the orange and stuck out its empty hooves. “Oranges depleted. Insert additional citrus to continue.”
“I think that’s enough juice, 003,” Gadget said, smiling at it. “Can you pour this batter into the biscuit tray for me, please?”
Twilight gawked at how friendly Gadget was being with it, though she had to admit that she was somewhat flattered by it wanting her to stay healthy.
“I am able, Gadget. Twilight Sparkle,” it said, getting her attention, “shall I continue to assist her or do you require me for a separate task?”
“What? I mean… no. That’s fine,” she answered, eyeing it warily.
“Understood. Proceeding with batter distribution,” it said.
“You can go wait in the dining room if you want, Princess,” Gadget said, turning her attention to the omelette. “Mr. Vanderbull’s having some tea and reading the paper. I’m putting mushrooms, tomatoes, and peppers in this omelette and it is going to be de-lish-us!”
“Okay,” Twilight said slowly, then stopped. “Wait, did you call Unit 003 a ‘she’ a moment ago?”
“Uh-huh,” she replied, not looking at her as she tended to the omelette, gently turning it with a spatula. “Why wouldn't I? Didn’t you call her a ‘she’ last night?”
Twilight paused, her eyes darting between Gadget and the automaton. “I… I did, yes. Hm.”
She turned, giving one last look over her shoulder, and went to the dining room. Decorated up in Rarity’s accents, it really was a wonderful place to enjoy a meal, although even that wasn’t enough to put her completely at ease. Sitting at the table was Vanderbull, a teacup in one hand, a folded newspaper in the other.
“Ah, good morning, Your Highness,” he said, smiling warmly. “It seems we made the front page.”
He slid the newspaper over to Twilight and she levitated it up to herself to read the story. There on the front page, taking up a huge section of the top half, was the picture of Unit 003 right as it had been activated last night. Twilight and Vanderbull and a few of her friends were in the other pictures. The headline was bold and clear across the top:
The Iron Horse:
Harrowing Tale of the Thinking Machine!
“Wow,” Twilight said. “This is going to get some attention.”
“I imagine the story will hit Canterlot soon.” Vanderbull took a sip of his tea, raising an eyebrow as he did so. “I wonder what Princess Celestia’s reaction will be. You might get quite a letter today, Your Highness.”
Twilight gulped. Though the article was mostly positive, the reporters had included the incident when the automaton had nearly attacked them. Celestia was probably not going to be pleased about that.
“Nothing to be done about it now,” Vanderbull continued. “I’m sure this will all calm down soon." He sighed, frowning and putting down his teacup and steepling his fingers as he looked at her. "I do hate to leave you at such a juncture, however. If Gadget and I could stay, I assure you we would.”
“No, I… I guess I can handle things on my own." Then she smiled, drawing herself up. "Well, I'm not really ‘on my own.’ My friends will help!”
“One would hope they’d be more receptive to the machine, but I suppose some resistance is expected. It isn’t what I would call 'cute' by any means.”
You can say that again, Twilight thought, but she kept the sentiment to herself.
Just then, Gadget entered, carrying four different plates with her mechanical hands. “Breakfast is served!” she exclaimed.
“Great, I’m starving!” Spike said, taking his place at the table.
Following Gadget, to everyone’s surprise, was Unit 003. A platter of toast was balanced perfectly on its back, which was made even more impressive as it was holding the pitcher of orange juice steadily on one hoof as it walked.
“Such a finely-tuned, incredible work of technological innovation,” Vanderbull breathed. Then he frowned. “And we’re using it to make and serve breakfast of all things.”
“Here are your eggs, everypony!” Gadget said cheerfully, setting the food before them all. 003 followed suit.
They all began their meal, taking a bite.
“Mmm!” Twilight’s first bite of the omelette was a little piece of heaven. “Wow, this is delicious! Thank you, Gadget!”
“You’re welcome, Princess!” she replied with a smile. Then she was silent and simply stared at Twilight, her smile frozen in place. “Um… and?” she asked.
Twilight took a drink of orange juice. “And… what?”
“Well, it’s just that, you know, um… 003 helped too.” She jerked her head toward at the automaton.
Twilight turned. 003 was sliding the tray of toast onto the table, going about its business without interruption.
“All right then,” Twilight began, clearing her throat as she looked to 003. “Uh, thank you for helping with breakfast, Unit 003.”
“Gratitude acknowledged.” It didn't look up as it said this.
Twilight blinked. “Was that its way of saying ‘You’re welcome?’”
“Ha!” Spike said, biting into the toast. “I think she’s funny! Last night she was a little creepy, but she’s kind of cool when she’s just helping around the castle! Looks like with me, Owloysius, and now her, you have three assistants, Twilight!”
She. Spike was using the feminine too.
“Oh, by the way, everypony,” Vanderbull said, “we should probably eat quickly and then Gadget and I must finish packing away our things. I received a telegram while you were all in the kitchen and it seems that our train will arrive around 9:30.”
Gadget sagged visibly at this news, her head and ears both lowering. “Yes, Commodore,” she said quietly.
Twilight felt sorry for the poor girl. She really was interested in the automaton, even more than Twilight. In fact, judging by how well she had co-opted it to make breakfast, she might be the one best suited to “training” it.
No, no, I said I would teach it friendship, so I will learn how to interact with it. I can do this!
“Well, I will be glad to go with you both to the train station and see you off, if you like,” Twilight offered.
“Really?” Gadget exclaimed, her ears perking back up. “Oh, yes, thank you!”
Vanderbull smirked as he resumed reading his paper. But he let Gadget have her excitement and merely smiled at Twilight. "Only if it's no bother."
“Bother? No, it’s my pleasure!" She turned to Gadget. "Besides, Gadget, you’ve even shown me how I can start working with Unit 003! We’ll get along fine!”
She was about to take another bite of her omelette when she turned and saw 003 standing right next to her, staring at her again with those glowing purple eyes.
“...Eventually,” she added.
***
A few hours later, they were at the train station and watching Vanderbull’s servants load up the crates of supplies they’d brought back onto his private train. Spike and Unit 003 were back at the castle cleaning up after breakfast.
“I really can’t thank you enough. Both of you.” Twilight smiled at the odd pair: the hulking minotaur in the fine suit and the messy little earth pony filly with the mechanical limbs. “I’ll be sorry to see you go.”
Vanderbull bowed slightly. “Yes, it was quite the experience and a genuine delight to meet you, Your Hi-- ahem... Twilight.”
Both Twilight and Gadget gawked at the sound of him finally dropping the formal title altogether.
“I… wow,” Gadget began, trying to find her words. Then she turned to Twilight as well. “Er, what I mean is that I will also miss you T-t-t-t-Twilight.” She blushed profusely.
Twilight suppressed a laugh, covering her mouth.
“So,” Gadget said, changing the subject, “it’ll be interesting to see if you can really teach Unit 003 friendship. I mean, it’s a fascinating machine, but who can say if it’s even really conscious at all?”
“Yeah,” Twilight sighed. “But it shouldn’t be too hard. I mean, it can talk and respond to things we say to it, so it must be conscious, right?”
“Not according to the Griffonese Room Argument," Gadget remarked offhandedly, turning to watch Vanderbull's servants load the train.
“The what now?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.
Gadget whirled around, her eyes wide and her smile broad and gleaming. "Well, since you asked..."
Vanderbull put his hand to his forehead. “Oh no, here she goes again,” he muttered. “I’ll go supervise the help while you prattle on, Gadget. Please don't bore her to death.” He left the two of them behind.
Gadget, undaunted, continued her explanation. “As I was saying: there was this philosopher named Searle Biscuit around when automatons were becoming popular and some of them were getting pretty sophisticated. Some ponies thought one day they could program machines with punch cards and stuff so they could talk and think like we do. Searle said it wasn’t possible.”
“Why?”
“He gave an example. Do you know anything about Old Griffonese?”
Twilight nodded. “It’s what griffons used to speak as their main language in the Griffon Kingdom before they adopted Equestrian. It’s mostly ceremonial now. Oh, and since it has a lot of screeches and caws and roars, it’s really hard for ponies to speak it.”
“Right. Well, Searle Biscuit imagined a room filled with books. For every single possible thing you could say in Griffonese, there would be a response for it in those books. A pony sits in the room and a griffon is outside the room. The griffon says something in Griffonese and the pony inside quickly looks up the phrase in a book and gives the corresponding Griffonese response. It's not translation, and no Equestrian is involved; it's just 'If the griffon says A, you say B,' but, to the griffon outside, it seems like the pony inside is speaking Griffonese.”
“But… he isn’t,” Twilight said. “Not really. The pony doesn't understand what he's saying.”
“That’s the point,” Gadget said excitedly. “It gives the illusion of actually thinking and responding, but it’s really just pre-programmed input and response!”
“And you think that might be what Unit 003 is doing?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Gadget sighed. “It might be impossible to know. But, speaking of griffons, there is this brilliant griffon engineer over in Trottingham called Talon Turing."
"Talon Turing?" Twilight asked. "That name sounds a little familiar."
"It should, the guy is designing these amazing new machines and computers that may one day revolutionize mathematics and data analysis. Absolutely brilliant." She sighed, taking on a dreamy, faraway look. "I hope someday I get to meet him."
Twilight tapped her on the shoulder, bringing her back to reality. "But what does Dr. Turing have to do with this?"
"Oh! Well, he thinks machines will be as smart as ponies someday. He says that computers will get better and better and may one day be a lot like us, so we just need to create a test to see how similarly a machine can think like us and then we’ll know if it’s really intelligent.”
“Machines as smart as ponies?” Twilight wondered. “Wow... That would be amazing. Though I’m not sure Princess Celestia would approve, if Mr. Vanderbull is right.”
Gadget shrugged. "Guess we'll find out if any machine ever gets smart enough to take Dr. Turing's proposed test." She chuckled. "Or maybe we've already found that machine. And maybe we're already testing her."
Twilight tightened her lips as she considered that.
Then there was a sound and they both turned to see Vanderbull approaching. Gadget's excitement drained away and scrunched herself inward, drooping her ears.
“It seems everything is ready,” Vanderbull said. “We must bid our host adieu, Gadget.”
She sighed, but nodded took her place next to him. “Yes, sir,” she said gloomily.
“We will be in touch if you need us,” Vanderbull said, bowing to Twilight courteously. “And Gadget will endeavor to discover who manufactured the automaton for you. I have total faith in her, and I hope you do as well."
Gadget smiled slightly at that. "Thank you, sir." She stood up straight. "I'll do my best, Twilight."
"Good luck with your experiments," Vanderbull continued, "and we will send some suggestions for experiments of our own, should it be convenient.”
“It’s… it was a real honor,” Gadget added, trying to find the right words. “If you need our help, of course, we will be glad to return. We are at your service.”
“Don’t be silly! You both are welcome to visit whenever you like!” she said. “After all we went through with this, I’m happy to call you both my friends.”
Vanderbull smiled at this. Gadget, always the ball of energy, looked like she was about to explode in a supernova of joy. “F-friends?” she gasped, tears forming in her eyes. “Oh, yes, yes, of course! I would love to come visit the next time I have some free time! It shouldn't even be too long! M-maybe even next week?”
“Next week? Well, if you have time to visit, then we won't have to wait long!” Twilight said smiling warmly. "Until we meet again."
“Until we meet again,” Vanderbull agreed, and he turned toward the train.
Gadget was about to follow when she paused, then suddenly rushed over and wrapped her hooves around Twilight in a surprise hug. “Thank you so much, Princess Twilight,” she whispered. She let her go and Twilight watched her go with a smile. Just as Gadget was about to get on the train, she looked back over her shoulder.
“I really think you’ve got the right idea, Princess!” she yelled, cupping her hoof by her mouth. “And when it comes to figuring out what the automaton can do, making friends just might be the perfect Turing test!”
Twilight nodded and waved goodbye as the train rumbled and slowly began to move away. And then she slowed her waving and her eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh… that’s it. That's it!”
***
Twilight was giddy with excitement as she flew back home, dipping and soaring as she went. She was planning to land on her balcony when she spotted something going on just outside the castle. What is going on down there? she wondered, narrowing her eyes. As she flew in closer, she saw a crowd of ponies gathered around, all watching in curiosity and fascination. She even began to hear their “oohs” and “ahhs.” And then she made some sounds of her own when she got close enough to see what they were watching.
"Hoofball acquired."
“Come on, 003, fire it over here!” Spike shouted excitedly.
Twilight gawked, eyes wide and mouth gone slack. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing: Spike and 003 were tossing around a hoofball.
“Commencing firing procedure,” 003 said. It tossed the ball into the air and then turned around rapidly. With one swift motion, it bucked the ball with its back hooves directly into Spike’s claws.
Of course, it did so with such force that Spike was propelled back a few meters. “Oof! Okay, maybe not that hard!” he said, rubbing his belly. Then he grinned. “Okay, 003, catch this!”
He tossed the ball long. So long, in fact, that no normal pony could have caught it. However…
“Engaging E-Mode.” With a sudden burst of speed, 003 dashed away and leaped into the air, snatching the ball in its hooves with perfect precision before casually trotting back to its original spot. “Hoofball acquired.”
The crowd cheered. Over it, Spike groaned. “Seriously, do you have to say that every single time you catch it?”
“Spike!” Twilight exclaimed landing next to him. “What in Celestia’s name are you doing?”
“Huh? Oh, Twilight, you’re back!" Spike said obliviously. "Well, we’re playing catch!”
“You’re playing catch?! With 003?! Out here where everypony can see?!”
“Affirmative,” 003 said. “We are playing catch out here where everypony can see. No ponies present appear to be visually impaired.”
“That’s not what I-- ugh, never mind! Both of you, get in the castle!” she shouted, stomping with one hoof.
“Aww,” the crowd said collectively, sorry to see the spectacle end. As they all departed, Twilight ushered the two of them back inside.
“Spike, I’m not sure Ponyville is quite ready to meet the world’s first independent automaton!” she said, placing a hoof to her forehead exasperatedly. “Why did you bring it outside?”
“It was determined that the activity of playing catch would damage your residence if played inside,” 003 explained.
“Oh for pony’s sake, just sit there and be quiet!” Twilight snapped.
The automaton sat down with a loud metallic clunk as its titanium-alloy posterior hit the floor.
“Look, Spike,” she sighed, “I’m glad you’re getting along with it-- er, with her better.” She swallowed, remembering to use the feminine. “But just… ask me first before exposing her to the public again, okay? I just don't want to turn her into a spectacle.”
Spike nodded. “Sure. Sorry, Twilight.”
“It’s okay,” she said, nuzzling him with her cheek. “Now, let’s get back to the matter at hoof." She cleared her throat and turned to her mechanical companion. "Unit 003?”
She stood up again as soon as Twilight addressed her.
“I’ve decided on a new name for you.” She drew herself up and paused dramatically. “Apparently there's a scientist named Talon Turing who thinks that one day machines will be just as smart as ponies. He's even proposed testing that theory and I think you might be the first machine to pass that test! So, in honor of that, from now on I’d like to call you... Turing Test.”
Spike considered the name for a moment, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the left and right. Finally, he said, “Yeah, sure, it has a good ring to it. Turing. Turing Test. Nice!”
“Glad you like it, Spike,” she said. “What about you, Unit-- I mean, Turing Test? Is that name okay?”
The automaton stood there, again making mechanical clicking sounds as it considered the moniker. “Designation ‘Turing Test’ is acceptable.”
Twilight stood watching her, waiting to see some other reaction, but Turing Test made no further movement and said nothing else, positive or negative. Twilight sighed and turned away. Oh well. I guess she is still a machine. I can’t expect her to react--
“Twilight Sparkle.”
She whirled around at the sound of her name. “Y-yes?”
“You have given me a unique designation.” She slowly twitched her ears. “Thank you.”
She stared at her intently, but Turing Test still had the same blank, inscrutable expression she always had. But in spite of herself, Twilight had to smile at those two little words.
“Gratitude acknowledged,” she replied.
To be continued...