“Gadget!” Twilight shouted, galloping over to her. “Has Turing come back yet?”
Gadget looked up from the device Graceful Hopper was showing her. When she saw Turing Test wasn’t with her, she frowned. “No. I guess you and Dr. Turing didn’t find her either?”
Twilight shook her head. “No.” She heaved a sigh. “I just can’t believe this. What if… what if something happened to her? What if her creators have been following us?” She raised her head, her eyes going wide. “Oh my gosh, she could be in trouble!”
Dr. Turing went over to her. “N-now then Twilight, let’s not panic--”
“But this could be serious!” Twilight exclaimed, turning rapidly to face him. “We need to find her! We should call the police!”
“That will not be necessary.”
All of them whirled around at the familiar synthetic voice. Sure enough, their robotic friend was standing there before them.
“Turing Test!” Twilight and Gadget exclaimed in unison, bounding over to her. Twilight threw her forelegs around her.
“Oh my gosh, Turing, where have you been?!” Twilight demanded, her expression turning angry.
“I apologize, Twilight Sparkle,” Turing said, bowing her head slightly. “I was aware that my performance on the assessment was poorer than I had anticipated and I did not wish to acknowledge your disappointment in me.”
Twilight’s expression softened. “Oh, Turing, you don’t need to worry about that.” She raised her head, squaring her shoulders. “In fact, if you want, we can just call off this test right now.”
“No.”
The whole group of them froze at the firmness of Turing Test’s answer.
“No?” Twilight asked.
“Correct. I believe I have a new strategy.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” said another familiar voice. They all turned to see Choco Mint walking over to them. “I was about to come by and check one last time. The volunteers are all here and they’re starting to get antsy in the waiting room. Are we ready to begin?”
“Just a moment,” Twilight said. “If I could just have another few minutes to talk to Turing Test--”
“That is not necessary, Twilight Sparkle,” Turing said, raising a hoof as she did so. Twilight turned to stare at her. “I have delayed this test long enough. Please, Choco Mint, let us resume testing.”
Mint smiled and held out his hoof, gesturing in the direction of the testing area. As Turing Test passed him, she paused and glanced at him, leaning in close.
“Wh-what?” he asked, flinching away from this sudden scrutiny.
“You have a small particle of food on your face,” Turing replied.
“Oh!” Mint began swiping at his face as Turing continued on without him. But then he saw Dr. Turing watching him and he noticed that the griffon had started to laugh.
“What?” he asked. When Dr. Turing continued to laugh, Mint began to pout. “Oh, Talon, really, what is it?”
“Y-you,” Dr. Turing managed to gasp, “you didn’t have anything on your face!”
Mint rolled his eyes at that, but then froze when he realized what that meant. “That… n-no!”
Twilight and Gadget both stopped and stared as Turing Test went through the door, letting it shut behind her without another word.
“Well then,” Dr. Turing said, wiggling his eyebrows at Mint, “it seems this is about to get a bit more interesting.”
***
Round 11
Interviewer: Bent Burtt; unicorn stallion; sound designer for movie serials.
Subject A: Turing Test
Subject B: Unicorn mare, age 20, tailor
Mint walked into the hallway, turning left to enter the small room where Turing Test was seated.
“All right, Turing Test, here’s your first question: ‘What is your biggest complaint about your business?’” He smiled, calmly awaiting her answer.
Analyzing: my opponent is a unicorn mare and a tailor. Her experiences would therefore be similar to Rarity. Other characters in books I have read have similar experiences. As a tailor, rather than a fashion designer, however, she will mostly likely have more mundane work than Rarity. Formulating response…
Mint began to frown. “Um, Miss Turing?”
“I find the most difficult part of my business is when ponies just can’t decide what they want. They tell me to do one thing, then change their minds once I’m finished.”
Mint froze. “Did… did you just use a contraction?”
“No, darling. I used two.”
Mint shook his head. “That’s… what happened while you--”
“I believe you wished to continue this test, Choco Mint. Please do not delay it further. And please remember that you promised to be fair in reading your response to the interviewer.”
Mint nodded slowly. “Um… yes, of course. Well. I… I’ll go talk to Subject B. Thank you, um, Miss Turing.”
With that, Mint walked out, shutting the door behind him.
Turing Test sat in silence, again alone with her thoughts. Trixie had told her to mimic regular ponies’ speech. Though Turing had done it before, she preferred not to use contractions, finding them imprecise and even sloppy. And yet, Trixie reminded her, organic ponies were often imprecise and sloppy.
***
Bent Burtt sat at the table with his face in his hooves. “You’re… you’re sure that one of those is a machine?”
Mint kept his calm, easy smile. “I am certain, sir. Can you tell me which is the pony and which is not?”
He shut his eyes. “I mean, one of them sounds a little more hoity toity, but the other sounds kind of plain. But they both sound pretty believable.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m not sure.”
Mint nodded. “I see. The machine was Subject A. I’ll note a score in its favor.”
There was a dull sound coming from behind the window of the observation area above them and both ponies looked up at it. Mint rolled his eyes.
Twilight and Gadget sure are happy about this, he noted. But we’ll just see how long she can keep up this facade!
TURING TEST SCORE: 2/11
***
“She did it, she did it!” Gadget cheered, leaping around as one pair of mechanical arms gave a series of fist-pumps while the other one seemed to be doing the Cabbage Patch.
“Amazing!” Twilight breathed.
“Quite so!” Dr. Turing said, smiling and giving an approving nod. Then he paused, raising an eyebrow as he saw Twilight frown and her ears flatten.
“Twilight? Are you all right?” he asked.
Twilight blinked and looked over to him. “Oh. Well, yes, I guess I am, but it’s just… I’ve never seen Turing lie before. I mean, I know that she has to and I’m happy she’s giving more realistic responses, but I…” She paused, heaving a sigh. “I guess I just didn’t think about how it would make me feel.”
Dr. Turing nodded. “I see. Do you wish to continue?”
Gadget stared at her. “T-Twilight?” she asked quietly.
But Twilight held up a hoof. “It’s all right. We’re already in this, so let’s keep going.” She smiled. “If this is what Turing Test wants to do, then I say we see it through!”
***
Round 14
Interviewer: Feather River; pegasus mare; weather pony.
Subject A: Earth pony stallion, age 35, veterinarian
Subject B: Turing Test
Question 1: “What is your favorite animal?”
A: “Dogs.”
B: “Birds.”
Question 2: “Why do you like them?”
A: “They’re friendly, at least most of the time, and they’re easy to train. At least they don’t bite like cats.”
B: “Birds are cool the way they fly and sing and I like when they trust me enough to eat out of my hoof.”
Question 3: (for B only) “You like flying things?”
B: “Oh yes! I wish I could fly sometimes. You pegasi are really lucky.”
Question 4: “What would you do if someone brought in an animal with a broken leg?”
A: “It depends on the animal.”
B: “I would fix it, obviously.”
Question 5: (for A only) “Why does it depend?”
A: “Some animals are too big and strong to apply a cast to, so they might need sedation. Otherwise, I can just just set the bone and put a cast on it.”
Question 6: “Describe how you would heal the broken leg.”
A: “I would take an x-ray to determine the severity of the injury and then apply the appropriate splint or cast. After enough time had passed, I would remove it.”
B: “I would first take an x-ray and then put a cast on the limb. That’s an easy question, though. Anypony would know it.”
Question 7: (for B only) “What sort of question should I ask?”
B: “Ask the other subject about what sort of medicine he would give a cat with joint problems. I’m the real veterinarian, so I bet the machine would just say ‘cosequin,’ since that’s a pony medicine. If so, then you’ll know it’s lying.”
Question 8: (for A only) “What sort of medicine would you give a cat with joint problems?”
A: “I suppose I’d likely prescribe a round of Cosequin.”
Interviewer incorrectly identified A as a machine.
TURING TEST SCORE: 5/14
***
Turing nodded to Mint when he told her the score. It was a good thing, she realized, that Fluttershy had some cat medication in her cottage. Cosequin wasn’t for ponies at all but the interviewer certainly wouldn’t know that and, as Trixie had taught her, pretending one spoke with authority often meant others believed you actually had authority. Just the same, she hoped there would be fewer experts like that. Too many tricky questions like that and she would fail again.
***
Round 18
Interviewer: Plum Pudding; unicorn stallion; chef.
Subject A: Turing Test
Subject B: Earth pony stallion, age 50, temp worker
Question 1: “Why did you become a temp worker?”
A: “It seemed interesting.”
B: “I can’t seem to hold a decent job, so I just do whatever other ponies tell me.”
Question 2: “What sort of jobs do you do for the temp agency?”
A: “I’ve worked in a bakery, a library, and worked as an animal caretaker recently.”
B: “The sort of jobs nopony else wants to do.”
Question 3: “Where were you at this time yesterday?”
A: “On a train coming to Trottingham.”
B: “In a cart park.”
Question 4: (for B only) “What were you doing in a cart park?”
B: “Parking carts. What else does one do in a cart park?”
Question 5: “Do you meet a lot of interesting ponies in your job?”
A: “Yes. They usually talk to me about their lives or families or jobs and I learn a lot from them.”
B: “No. Most ponies are perfectly dreadful, I find. They just go ‘(name redacted), go clean the bathroom,’ and ‘(name redacted), bring me that piece of paper.’ I studied 10 years at Cambridle and now I’ve got a brain the size of bloody Equestria and they bother me to go pick up a bloody piece of paper. I swear, you’d think somepony would appreciate my talents, but no, most ponies just act as though I’m getting them down. I’m not getting you down, am I?”
Interviewer correctly identified B as a very depressed pony and suggests we give him a little extra for his time as a volunteer.
TURING TEST SCORE: 8/18
***
Round 20
Interviewer: Stardust; pegasus mare; surveyor.
Subject A: Unicorn mare, age 32, librarian
Subject B: Turing Test
Question 1: “What books do you like best?”
A: “Honestly? Romance stories.”
B: “Adventure stories!”
Question 2: “Can you give an example?”
A: “It’s a little embarrassing, but I recently read Reigned In.”
B: “I really enjoy the Daring Do books.”
Question 3: “How many books are in your library?”
A: “If I had to guess, around 40 or 45 thousand.”
B: “Just over twenty thousand.”
Question 4: “Do you get many guests to your library?”
A: “Yes, though not as many as in recent years. A lot of ponies these days just like to watch movie serials and such. It’s too bad, really.”
B: “Quite a lot! It seems ponies are always coming and going. Yesterday, I had two ponies who stayed far too late and I finally had to ask them to leave. They really enjoyed all the books, though.”
Question 5: “Are you married?”
A: “Yes, I’ve been married for seven years. My anniversary is next week!”
B: “No. Though I admit I have a little crush on somepony.”
Question 6: (for A only) “Where did you meet your husband?”
A: “I met him back in Tall Tale. We recently transferred over to Trottingham, so he’s working as a banker here in town. The money’s good, but I wish he wasn’t so busy.”
Question 7: (for B only) “What can you tell me about this crush?”
B: “He’s a stallion who transferred over to the Crystal Empire to be part of the Castle Guards. He has a yellow-orange coat and a blue mane and he’s so nice and when I hear his voice I just feel like I’m going to melt into my hooves!”
***
Gadget’s grin spread over her face like an oil spill as she leaned in close to Twilight. “Hm hm hm,” she chuckled, as Twilight’s expression grew more and more sour. “Sooo, I wonder where Turing Test is drawing the inspiration for this particular story?”
“You know, back in the day,” Twilight grumbled through gritted teeth, “you could get sent to the dungeon for mocking royalty.”
“Well, if you send me to the dungeon,” Gadget said, wiggling her eyebrows at Twilight, “then please send me to the one in the Crystal Empire. At least then my jailor might be a hunky stallion with a yellow-orange coat and--uwah!” and Gadget stopped talking as Twilight levitated her off the ground, using her magic to yank her up by her mechanical arms.
“Ladies, if you please?” Dr. Turing sighed, rolling his eyes as he did so. The other researchers, still stifling their laughter, managed to keep silent as both Gadget and Twilight calmed down.
***
Question 8: “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
A: “I hope I’m still married with a couple of foals in school.”
B: “I don’t know. I feel like there are a lot of things I still want to learn about.”
Question 9: (for B only) “What kind of things do you want to learn about?”
B: “I want to see more of Equestria and learn more about how other ponies live, what they enjoy, and what sort of ideas they have. Just today I met an interesting pony in the park who taught me some things I had never really considered before.”
Question 10: “To be honest, I can’t really tell which of you is a machine. Can you tell me something that proves you aren’t?”
A: “Wow, the other answers you got must be pretty good! If you still think I’m a machine, then I don’t know what else to say.”
B: “Can you?”
Interviewer was uncertain.
TURING TEST SCORE: 10/20
***
“Astounding!” Dr. Turing said, making another note on his clipboard. The other researchers were doing the same. He clicked the microphone and his voice filled the room below.
“Excellent job, Choco Mint. It seems our subject is doing better than expected.”
Mint smirked. “Apparently. But I still say you’ll owe me dinner before this is over, Talon.”
Dr. Turing laughed, but then the room went silent as Turing Test trotted out from the door and into the testing area.
“Excuse me, everypony, but can you hear me?”
Twilight rushed over to the microphone. “Yes, Turing, we can! You did great! Only one pony that whole time guessed correctly!”
But to Twilight’s surprise, Turing Test actually lowered her head, her ears drooping.
“Turing Test?” Twilight asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes.” She paused a moment. “Affirmative. There is something wrong. I do not wish to continue this test.”
Twilight, Gadget, Dr. Turing, and the other researchers all froze. The smugness of Mint’s grin was almost palpable.
“But Turing,” Gadget cried, rushing over to seize the microphone, “you’re winning! Why the heck would you quit now when we’ve got just ten more ponies?”
“Because,” Turing Test said, raising her head, “I do not wish to.”
They all waited, standing in silence as she paused, tapping her chin and choosing her next words carefully.
“You may have noticed a significant delay in my response time for these last ten interviews. This is because my responses required greater analysis. I had to compare common traits of ponies I know personally to those of characters and figures depicted in books. Constructing responses based on a composite personality construct required significant cognitive resources and has even caused excessive drain on my battery power. It was extremely difficult to give convincing responses.”
“Oh, I see,” Mint said, stepping forward. “You’re quitting because it’s getting difficult and you want to leave while you’re still on top.”
Turing Test shook her head. “No. That is not the reason.” She turned from Mint, whose smile had become a frown, and looked up to the observation area. “I apologize, Dr. Turing, but I believe that this test is not a valid means of determining my intelligence.”
Mint stepped forward. “How dare you!” he shouted. “Talon is one of the greatest scientists--”
“Mint, p-please!” Dr. Turing shouted.
Mint gawked up at the observation area. “But, Talon!”
“Mint, please be silent. I want to hear Miss Turing’s opinion.”
Mint paused, then nodded. Turing Test stepped forward, bowing her head. “Thank you. Allow me to explain.
“I initially believed that I had spent enough time among organics to become like one myself. However, when confronted with my failure, I realized that I would have to fabricate my responses. This was contrary to my normal inclination to tell only the truth, yet when I began to contrive new responses and strategies by extrapolating from data, I felt gratified and even excited at the prospect of success. But it was then that I realized what my achievement would mean.
“The only way to succeed in this test is to act in a way that is indistinguishable from an organic pony. This indicates that only ponies are intelligent and the only way to prove that I am intelligent is to not act normally with respect to myself. If I am successful, then I will be considered intelligent for not being true to my own nature. In summary, this means that I, a robot, am not being judged for what I am, but only for what I can pretend to be.”
Dr. Turing cracked a smile. Leaning toward the microphone he gently asked, “In that case, Miss Turing… what are you?”
“In truth, Dr. Turing, I am not certain.” She placed a hoof to her chest and raised her head. “I am not like anything else that has been recorded in Equestrian history. I am a machine, but like other ponies, I have my own ideas, desires, opinions, and an existence that I value. If my status as an intelligent being is to be determined, then I wish to be judged as myself, not as a reflection of what is considered normal.”
Twilight broke into a beaming smile. Wasting no more time, she vanished in a flash of light and reappeared next to Turing Test.
“You’re exactly right, Turing!” she exclaimed, putting her foreleg over her robot companion’s shoulders. “And if that’s how you feel, then I’m with you, one hundred percent!”
There was a noticeable scoff, and both Twilight and Turing Test looked to see Mint shaking his head, rubbing his forehead with his hoof.
“I take it you have a retort, Mr. Mint?” Dr. Turing asked.
“Of course I do!” Mint exploded, stomping his hooves on the ground. He jutted one hoof over at Turing, glaring at her. “This machine may be advanced, and it may be capable of pretty speeches, but it is nothing but a highly-advanced simulation! This thing is the Griffonese Room Experiment made flesh--”
“I am composed primarily of metal, not flesh.”
“You know what I mean!” he shouted, his face flushing as Twilight started to chuckle. “The point is that, impressive as you may be, you have no real mind and no real emotions. You may have them all fooled, but you don’t fool me! True, you may be impressive, and true, you are a great many things, Miss Turing, but we both know that you are no pony and you never will be!”
The room went dead silent, save for Mint’s hard breathing, as all of them stared in shock at this sudden, violent outburst.
But Turing Test simply took a few steps toward Mint, her metallic hoof-falls echoing in the room.
“What you have said is true, Choco Mint. I am no pony. However…”
She took another step toward him, putting her face right before his, looking up to him with unblinking, glowing violet eyes.
“...neither are you.”
At first Twilight thought this was merely an insult, but then she saw Mint’s eyes bulge as he took a few shaky steps backwards. His jaw dropped open and he made a strange croaking sound as the words caught in his throat.
“N-no! That’s… th-that’s--”
There came a sigh and a slight chuckle from the observation room, and then Dr. Turing was heard once again: “It seems she’s f-figured you out, my friend. Just a moment, we’ll all be right down.”
Twilight swallowed as she came up alongside Turing Test. “Turing? What’s going on?”
“I believe you will understand in a moment, Twilight Sparkle.”
Dr. Turing, Gadget, and the other researchers all filed into the room. At the center of it, Choco Mint was shivering, his eyes darting from side-to-side as if surrounded by vicious predators.
“Calm down, Mint,” Dr. Turing said, placing his claws on Mint’s shoulders. “You are among friends.”
Mint looked at him, but seeing the warm, placid smile on the griffon’s face, he took a deep breath and relaxed.
“Okay, can somepony tell me what’s going on?!” Twilight shouted, flaring out her wings as she did so.
“I have very limited information on the subject, Twilight Sparkle,” Turing Test said, “but with the data I have acquired, I have discovered information referencing a type of creature that can change its appearance and mimic that of others to feed on emotions. I believe that Choco Mint is one of those creatures.”
Twilight’s blood ran cold and she stiffened as she stared at the stallion before her. “Y-you mean, he’s… he’s a…”
“Correct, Princess,” Mint said, and suddenly there was a flash of green flame and where the handsome green stallion had once stood was now a being with a glossy, black chitinous body. His emerald eyes were replaced by pupil-less blue spheres, and a pair of transparent, insectoid wings rose from his back. “I am a changeling.”
Twilight took to the sky, her horn already glowing. Gadget was backing away, her mechanical arms raised defensively.
“Princess, Gadget, stop!” Dr. Turing shouted, throwing himself between Twilight and Mint, spreading his arms wide.
“Please listen to him,” Turing Test said, running over to Gadget, placing her hooves on the young mare’s shoulders. “Dr. Turing was aware of Mint’s true nature.”
Twilight stopped her impending attack, the glow of her horn fading. “All right,” she said, nodding her head. She slowly landed back on the ground. “Can somepony please explain what’s happening? Why is a changeling working here, of all places?!”
“My apologies, Princess,” Dr. Turing said, bowing solemnly to her, “but it is a general p-policy here that we keep Mr. Mint’s identity a secret, both for the sake of his safety and out of respect for his privacy.”
“Privacy?!” Twiight gasped. “There’s a changeling living among ponies in one of Equestria’s largest cities! Who else knew about this?”
“Well actually,” Mint said, his voice now taking on an odd, grating rasp, “since you asked, Princess Celestia knows.”
Twilight froze, her jaw dropping. “Wha… how…?”
“The truth is,” Mint said with a sigh, “Talon and I met many years ago in the Night Guard. Only he had been hired while I was, well, partly a prisoner and partly a secret weapon. Talon and I collaborated and, eventually, I won the trust of the Night Guard superiors. They conditionally allowed me to have my freedom, provided I could report to someone I trusted.” He smiled and went over to Dr. Turing, resting his head on his shoulder, a contented smile on his face. “I chose Talon.”
“Aww!”
The whole group turned to look at Gadget, who was now blushing. “W-what? It’s sweet!” She blinked. “Weird, but sweet.”
“Y-yes, well,” Dr. Turing said, running a claw along his collar. “M-Mint has been collaborating here ever since. The truth is, before my paper on the Imitation Game was published, the Night Guard proposed using a similar methodology based on my preliminary writings to see how well Mint could fool others into believing he was a pony.”
“And I was very good at it!” Mint said, thrusting his chin out. “And so, when this chance came, I was glad to provide my own feedback to create the best version of the Imitation Game. But when I saw Turing Test,” here he glanced at the robot, his voice growing quieter, “I was struck by something I hadn’t anticipated: she gave off no emotional energy.”
“Emotional energy?” Gadget asked, tilting her head.
“Of course!” Twilight exclaimed, smacking her forehead. “Turing Test is mechanical! You’re so used to detecting ponies’ emotions as a changeling that when you couldn’t read Turing’s, you assumed she had no emotions at all.”
Gadget nodded, rubbing her chin as she began to understand. “So that’s why you treated Turing Test that way; for a changeling, that had to be pretty disturbing.”
Mint lowered his head. “I’d never encountered anything like that,” he whispered. “And yet, she seems so lifelike…” He slumped to the floor, heaving a sigh. “Tell me,” he said, not looking up at them, “how did you find out, Miss Turing? How did you know I was a changeling?”
“My scans indicated a very strange circulatory system that was visible beneath your skin. Furthermore, your comments regarding your skill at imitation led me to wonder how one could be such an expert that they would be entrusted with a formal study despite not being a scientist. I then realized that I had detected an increase in an unknown energy when we first met; after more incidents observed in your presence, I concluded that this was a result of your siphoning off emotional energy from others as sustenance.”
Gadget stiffened at that and she stomped over to Mint. “H-hey! You mean to tell me that you were flirting with Twilight and me because you were hungry?! You were just getting a snack?!”
Mint stared back at her, but then got to his hooves and began to laugh. There was a flash and he returned to his earlier form as a pony. He leaned in close to Gadget, causing her blush to deepen.
“You were delicious.”
Gadget pouted and looked away. “Jerk.”
Mint started to laugh, but it was cut off when Talon bopped him over the head. “I believe that is q-quite enough, my friends. Since I doubt there is any more testing to be done, allow me to summarize my findings.”
The others all stood in rapt attention as Talon Turing cleared his throat.
“It seems to me that, in the most basic terms, Turing Test has failed the Turing test.”
Twilight sighed, putting her hoof on Turing’s shoulder.
“However,” Dr. Turing continued, “it is just as true, if not more so, that the Turing test has failed her.” He smiled, but shook his head. “When I first proposed the Imitation Game, I suggested it with the idea of machines that were more sophisticated than anything else Equestria had ever seen. I imagined machines that would be advanced and would be forging personalities that were like our own, and, tellingly, I considered deceit and trickery to be part of that experience.
“And yet here, this machine, this robot, this…” he drew in a deep breath, holding out his claw to Turing Test, “this being has asserted itself as itself. It… no, she has demonstrated self-awareness, creativity, introspection, problem-solving, emotional highs and lows, and even integrity. All of these are things we would acknowledge as traits of thinking, intelligent beings if seen in organic creatures. It would be a travesty to dismiss these simply because she cannot pass for a pony. Indeed, it may even be hypocritical to judge her for not being a pony when the test was co-created by a griffon and changeling, neither of which is a pony!”
They all laughed at that.
“Ah, well,” he said, loosening his tie. “I, ah, I never thought I would get to test m-my own, well, test. I accepted that, pass or fail, Miss Turing would test the validity of the Imitation Game as the Turing Test. As I said, Princess Twilight,” he said, giving her a wink, “it isn’t w-whether you win or lose, but how you play the Imitation Game. And I’d say Miss Turing played beautifully.”
Turing tapped her chin, pondering that last statement. “A strange game,” she said. “The only winning move is not to play.”
Another round of laughter went up, but amid it, Choco Mint slowly went over to Turing Test.
“Um, Miss Turing?” he asked.
“What is it, Choco Mint?” she asked. “Do you require assistance?”
He smiled and shook his head. “No, I… what I mean is that I let my prejudice get to me. I treated you like dirt because I thought you were just some simulation that was putting on a convincing show that was fooling all the nice ponies around you. Miss Gadget and Princess Twilight and all my colleagues who had such high hopes… I felt all their esteem and appreciation and amazement for you and I… well, I felt like I had to defend them because I thought you were taking advantage of them.”
He lowered his head, his lower lip quivering.
Gadget watched all this and smiled, remembering what Hopper and Hamiltrot had said: Mr. Mint is actually a pretty nice guy when you get to know him... He’s a very empathetic type... He’s one of the best peacemakers when we have a debate…
“What I’m trying to say is that it’s obvious that you’re more than what I thought you were and I’m sorry.” He looked up at her. “Can you forgive me?”
Turing Test reached for him, then paused.
“What? What is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I have an inquiry: do changelings exchange hugs?”
Mint chuckled. “Not normally, no. But just as you are not the average machine, I am not the average changeling.” That said, he stepped forward and embraced her, a gesture which she returned.
As they parted, Twilight came up behind Turing and put her hoof on her shoulder, and Talon Turing did the same to Mint.
“I think you’d best c-compensate the other volunteers and tell them their services won’t be needed, Choco,” Dr. Turing said.
Mint nodded. “Yes, of course. Oh, and after that, do you think we could, um… show our new friends around Trottingham? They’ve come all this way, after all!”
“Well, if they’re up for it,” he said, and turned to see Twilight and Gadget both nodding emphatically, beaming smiles on their faces. “I suppose that’s a yes!”
“Woohoo!” Gadget hollered, kicking her forelegs in the air.
She and the others all began to exit the room.
“Oh, just a moment, Dr. Turing?” Twilight asked. “Could I ask you something in private?”
Dr. Turing raised an eyebrow at the sudden request, but nodded. Once Turing Test, Gadget, Mint, and the other researchers had all left and shut the door behind them, he sat before Twilight.
“How can I help you, Twilight?”
“Well, I guess I’m just curious,” Twilight said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I mean, a changeling in the care of the Night Guard and now he’s your, um… assistant?”
Dr. Turing blushed. “Ah, well… he’s, ah, he’s a bit m-more to me than just an ‘assistant.’”
Twilight blinked. Then she blushed as well. “Oh! Oh, I didn’t realize!”
“I suspect Miss Turing did. She must have read my body language. That is why I get rather c-cross with him when he flirts with others. I know he doesn’t mean anything by it and he’s just getting a quick taste of their emotions, but still, it is quite annoying. After all I, ah, I keep him very well fed.”
Twilight chuckled. “I can imagine. But still, how did all this happen?”
Dr. Turing smiled. “It was much as I said earlier. Back then, the Night Guard just called him ‘The Bug.’ He was just a stray changeling drone that they’d captured. Separated from the hive, he barely ate, hardly ever spoke, but he soon learned that he’d have to do as his captors said if he wanted anything more than simple bread and water. When they called me in for the Imitation Game trials, he did rather p-poorly, to be quite honest. No social skills at all.”
“So what did you do?” Twilight asked.
“I decided the best way to learn to socialize was for him to have a friend.” He gave Twilight a wink, knowing she’d appreciate that little tidbit. “Yes, I, ah, I remember I started to visit him in his little glass cell. I’d read him books and teach him maths, and truthfully he has a real knack for it! Sums appear to come naturally to changelings; they’re very mathematical thinkers. And yet he never said his name until one day I showed him a picture book and he pointed at a small insect and said ‘That. That is my name.’ It was a grasshopper! He said they were d-delicious.”
Twilight made a face, sticking out her tongue, drawing a laugh from Dr. Turing.
“As I recall, I joked that I doubted that grasshoppers taste like grasshopper cookies. And he said he didn’t know what I meant by such a thing. Well, I got, ah, permission from the guards on my next visit and I brought him a box of them. You know, the little thin chocolate and mint cookies?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “No… you don’t mean--”
Dr. Turing laughed. “The lad ate the whole box! Never seen anything like it! And then he…” Dr. Turing paused, and Twilight saw that tears were forming in his eyes. “He cried. It took me quite by surprise; I didn’t even know a changeling could cry until that day. He said he’d never tasted anything so wonderful and he thanked me again and again for bringing them to him.” He cleared his throat, wiping the tears on his sleeve.
“W-well, after that, he became much more sociable. Unfortunately, at that time my work on decrypting the Enigma machine began to take far more of my time. I told him of my troubles and he asked how he could help. I told him that there wasn’t anything he could do unless he could think of a way to get an updated Enigma machine.”
Twilight noticed the knowing smile Dr. Turing wore. “Wait a minute! You mean that machine you showed me at Brindley Park…?”
“Apparently he does a very convincing centaur. His handlers sent him behind enemy lines and the lad came back dutifully, Enigma machine in tow. After that, it seemed he’d earned the Guard’s trust enough to where they considered granting him his freedom. And when he’d finally gained it, he told me that from that day forward, he’d live as a pony and he’d forever be known as--”
“--Choco Mint,” Twilight said, finishing the sentence. She smiled, taking a deep breath, her chest swelling in appreciation. “So it seems Equestria has two unknown heroes!”
Dr. Turing rolled his eyes. “You flatter me again, Your M-majesty,” he said. “Now let’s go meet our friends. I believe Mint intends for us to spend a night on the town.”
***
The next day, Twilight, Turing Test, Gadget, and Dr. Turing were making their way to the platform at Trottingham Station. The sound of trains and ponies rushing all around them filled the air.
Gadget sighed. “It really has been fun, but guess it’s back to work for me.” Then she smiled, perking up at her next thought. “But on the bright side, I might be able to convince Mr. Vanderbull to invest in the ACE project. Plus, I feel like I’ve got a ton of great ideas to start developing! And on top of all that, it’s great that you’re letting us all co-author your next paper, Dr. Turing!”
Talon waved a claw dismissively. “No, I, ah, I wouldn’t hear of writing such a thing without your assistance.”
“Ooh, I’m so excited!” Gadget squealed. “I’m writing a ground-breaking scientific paper with one of Equestria’s greatest scientists, a princess, and a robot!”
“I know, it sounds wonderful!” Twilight exclaimed, lifting off the ground momentarily in her elation.
“And, in fact,” Dr. Turing said, stroking his feathered chin thoughtfully, “I believe I already know what to write about. The Imitation Game failed because it was too limited in scope to appreciate a machine for being intelligent in its own right. But I believe you three have stumbled upon something that may yet serve as a better Turing test, though I’ve yet to fully articulate it.”
Twilight and Gadget both looked to each other, then back to Dr. Turing in confusion. Turing Test, however, stepped forward.
“You mean to say that my capacity for friendship despite my mechanical nature is indicative of my intelligence. Am I correct?”
Dr. Turing nodded. “Quite so. It may not be a complete or formalized assessment, but perhaps it shall give us somewhere to start from.”
Twilight smiled. “That sounds wonderful. I look forward to seeing what you write. And thank you so much for seeing us off, Dr. Turing!”
Dr. Turing gave a short nod. “I’d be an awful host if I didn’t, I should think. Please forgive Mint’s not coming here as well. He’s a bit tired after yesterday, it seems, and he doesn’t do well with crowded places.”
There was a loud call of “All aboard!” from the conductor, and Gadget gave a small cry of panic.
“Oh jeez, I better go!” She started to gallop toward the train, but stopped, looked over her shoulder, and ran back to Twilight and Turing Test, sweeping them both up in her mechanical arms, giving each of them a firm (if somewhat cold and metallic) hug. She then gave a low bow to Dr. Turing.
“Goodbye, Twilight! Goodbye, Turing Test! It was an honor to meet you, Dr. Turing!” Gadget called over her shoulder as she ran for the train. “I’ll write you as soon as I can!”
“Goodbye, Gadget!” Twilight called after her.
“Bon voyage!” Dr. Turing called. Turing Test noticed their waving and began to wave as well.
“Please extend our positive feelings of affection and gratitude to Mr. Vanderbull for helping to arrange this encounter as well as for granting you leave to accompany us and oh you are already on the train.”
Twilight smacked her own forehead. “A simple ‘So long!’ will be fine next time, Turing.”
“But I do not want it to be a long time. Perhaps I could say ‘So short,’ instead.”
Twilight groaned, but had to crack a smile. “Well, come on. Let’s go catch our train. This has been a really great trip, but I need to head back to Ponyville and start back on more ‘Princess Work.’”
The two of them looked to Dr. Turing.
“I guess this is goodbye, Talon,” Twilight said.
“For now, Twilight, for now.” He smiled and then turned his attention to Turing Test. “And as for you, Miss Turing…”
Turing Test tilted her head at him, noticing that he appeared to be holding back tears.
“Dr. Turing, are you well?”
“Yes, yes, it’s nothing,” he said, chuckling. “It’s just… you know, I never thought I’d see a being such as you in my lifetime. Regardless of who built you or for what purpose, you truly are a miracle of technological achievement and perhaps the culmination of the type of work I’ve devoted my life to. I j-just, ah, I just… I am honored to know you, to have you carry my name, and to call you a friend. That is, if that is all right with you?”
Turing Test nodded. “Affirmative. I am very happy that I was able to avoid disappointing you or Twilight Sparkle. I also am happy to share my designation with you. I will attempt to always act in a way that will honor you, sir.”
Dr. Turing nodded and gave the robot one last hug and a short, respectful bow to Twilight.
“Then I bid you both a good journey home. I hope it will be an interesting trip!”
“I think so,” Twilight said, giving Turing Test a sly, sideways glance. “For one thing, Turing, maybe on the way home you’d like to tell me how you suddenly learned to lie like you did during the Imitation Game in under an hour?”
Turing suddenly put a hoof to her chest, tossing her head and the coils of her mane back dramatically. “The Great and Powerful Turing Test had an excellent teacher.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped open and a barely audible croak escaped her.
“We should hurry,” Turing Test said, resuming her normal mannerisms as she trotted nonchalantly past Twilight.
Twilight remained frozen in place for another moment before she turned and dashed after the mechanical mare.
Dr. Turing gave a short chuckle. “Yes, quite an interesting trip, by the look of things!”
To be continued...