Chapter 45 - Last Day in Ponyville
“Careful… careful…” Twilight nervously chewed on her hoof while at the same time using her magic to levitate a quill and paper to take notes. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Magnus and the straight razor he held in his hand. The blade was sharp and could inflict serious damage with a single errant move. Sure, they used razors like this in hospitals to shave the coat of patients before surgery, but the nurses who wielded them were trained in handling the implement. Now, she was watching a human use it without any special training and the procedure was nerve-wracking to behold. Still, that didn’t stop her from taking notes. Already she had asked several questions regarding human facial hair, its meaning, and if all humans could grow a moustache and beard.
Slowly, the sharp blade moved against Magnus’ skin, dangerously close to his throat. Ever so gently, it scraped against skin, cutting cleanly the stubble and longer hairs until the blade built up a layer of foam and needed rinsing. Hot tap water solved that problem.
“Think I’m getting the hang of this now,” Magnus stated while he rinsed off the sharp edge. Knowing how dangerous it could be, he used utmost care when shaving. He wasn’t a stranger to a straight razor, having tried it before, though he preferred the safety razor due to it being easier to wield.
Stretching the skin under his chin, the blade once again moved closer to remove the rest of the stubble. However, his earlier success made him bold and that boldness drew blood.
Magnus winced as the razor cut skin while Twilight gasped and covered her mouth with her hoof. Fortunately, the cut was shallow but stung like the dickens. To him it was nothing, just a price to pay for having a cleanly shaven face. After all, at the age of twenty seven, a man that shaved regularly would have cut himself many times. To his spectator, however, it was much more different.
“You cut yourself!” Twilight exclaimed in horror and winced at the sight of a drop of blood that fell into the sink. “You should let me shave you. I have better control over my magic than you have over your hands.”
“Absolutely not!” Magnus stated firmly, looking at the reflection of the alicorn in the bathroom mirror. “I don’t doubt your magic, but I draw the line at handling a razor near my jugular.”
“Then at least let me put a spell on it to prevent you from accidentally cutting yourself,” Twilight pleaded. Magnus promptly ignored her and began another careful stroke from his throat up to his chin.
“Oh, I can’t watch this! I just know something will go terribly wrong.” Twilight covered her eyes with her hooves, but couldn’t help but sneak a peek at the strange—and potentially dangerous—custom being performed before her eyes. She had seen her father getting a shave, but he usually went to the hairdresser to get it done, and stallions only shaved once or twice a year.
“Magnus? Twilight? Where are you guys?” Spike called out as he entered the bathroom, finding his big sister covering her eyes and Magnus wielding a razor near his throat. It was a strange and bizarre sight to the young dragon. “Ah, is this a bad time?” he asked innocently.
“I’m observing a human custom from up close, Spike. This has never been observed by ponies before!” Twilight stated quickly. “And it’s not something little dragons should see; it’s very bloody!”
Magnus rolled his eyes at Twilight’s exaggeration. “And I’m just shaving. What’s up, Spike?”
Spike nodded slowly. “Okay…? Um, you have visitors downstairs.”
Visitors? That certainly surprised Magnus. Who would want to see him? He hoped that it wasn’t some nosy journalist who’d finally decided to break Celestia’s command of leaving him alone; he liked the current status quo. No one bothered or harassed him, and no one had tried to kidnap him for nefarious purposes. So, who could it be? There was only one way of finding out.
“Tell them that I’ll be down in a few moments.”
After several more minutes of dread, Magnus and Twilight made their way downstairs to find out who the mysterious visitors were. When they reached the main hall, Spike was talking with them. It wasn’t journalists or mad scientists, it wasn’t the next harmony-threatening disaster to strike Equestria, and it wasn’t even Discord. From what he’d heard from their sisters, however, these three had an unusual talent for getting into trouble just the same.
“Hi, Magnus!” Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo chorused, smiling innocently.
“Hello there.” Magnus knelt in front of them so that he could look them in the eye and showed them a smile in return. “You wanted to see me?”
The fillies nodded. “Ah told mah friends about you; Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle here,” Apple Bloom began, gesturing to the other two. “And Ah told them what you told me yesterday about cutie marks, about how humans can’t get one.”
“And that’s a bit sad,” Sweetie Belle intoned, staring dejectedly at Magnus. “We’re sorry you can’t get one.”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, we are. We won’t try to see if you can get one, but we wanted to ask if you can come with us today. We have a lot of ideas for cutie marks we can try out, but some of them need an adult.”
“And that’s where you come in,” Apple Bloom continued. “Everypony we know is busy today, and can’t help us. You can be our adult supervisor!”
“Plus, if you supervise us, maybe you can come up with some ideas we haven’t tried yet,” Sweetie Belle finished.
Before Magnus could even say anything, the three fillies shot doe eyes in unison at him that rivaled the most adorable kitten while smiling and pleading, “Pleeeaaaasseeeee?”
Magnus felt his resolve crumble and turned to Twilight for aid. She smiled and shook her head. “I can’t go with them. Spike and I have errands to do today, one of them is a visit to Zecora in the Everfree Forest, and I’m not about to bring someone who isn’t familiar with it in there.”
***
“How did this happen?” Magnus asked himself not for the first time while following the three rambunctious fillies through Ponyville. Babysitting certainly wasn’t on his agenda today. He had already planned to visit Snapshot and pick up his framed photos, maybe go for a walk and find something interesting to do, or perhaps read a book. Instead, he somehow ended up supervising three fillies who had an extreme obsession with finding out what their special talents was. At least he remembered his bag of bits before leaving the castle; he could pick up the photos on his way back later.
His wards ran around his legs, just as they did when they left the castle, telling him all about what they had tried and failed at in the past. Their previous failures had not deterred them at all; instead, it fuelled them on to attempt more unorthodox methods.
“We also wanted to try to build a catapult a while ago, but we weren’t so good at it,” Scootaloo mentioned as she and her friends skipped ahead.
“Ah think we did good work on it. It worked, didn’t it?” Apple Bloom rebutted.
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Uh huh, but there was a construction error somewhere, and we don’t know what happened. At least Spike landed in the pond.”
Magnus shook his head and chuckled. “My god, what have I gotten myself into?”
“Supervising!” they happily replied before standing shoulder to shoulder and loudly exclaiming, “Cutie Mark Crusaders being supervised!”
“That’s probably needed,” Magnus mumbled to himself.
The fillies led Magnus to the outskirts of Ponyville, past pastures where cows grazed and had lively, and judging by the laughter, amusing conversations. Some of the bovines recognized the trio and waved a foreleg at them as they passed, which the fillies eagerly returned.
Eventually, they came to a wide open area, empty except for a few wooden crates standing alone and a little red wagon.
“Here we are; our first attempt for the day,” Scootaloo announced. “It took several trips with our cart before we got it all here, but it should be worth it.” She then joined her two friends as they began to open the crates.
Magnus walked up to the crates and bent down to take a closer view. “So what’s the first project you have planned? Does it have to do what’s in these box…” His words died on his tongue as he saw the stencilled words on the crates and a vaguely familiar pictogram he associated with New Year’s Eve and the Fourth of July; that of an explosion. “A fireworks’ kit?!” He swiftly turned to the fillies who were eagerly laying out small boxes in different colours, thick cardboard tubes, guiding sticks, and a bundle of green cord. “You three are gonna make fireworks all by yourselves?!”
Apple Bloom nodded eagerly. “Yep. We saved up bits so that we could buy it. We had to talk our sisters into it, though. Mah brother ordered this kit and it came yesterday with the train. If we get our cutie marks in being fireworks experts, we can make fireworks so beautiful we can do shows in Canterlot, Manehattan, Las Pegasus—everywhere!”
“And maybe even the princesses will ask us to show them our fireworks at the Grand Galloping Gala,” Sweetie Belle added, her voice breaking at the end out of pure eagerness. The unicorn filly then picked up a thick cardboard tube, longer than her body, that had a guiding stick attached to it. She grinned, causing the hairs on Magnus’ arms to stand on end.
‘What’s this chilling emotion I suddenly feel?’
Although a small part of Magnus felt great excitement when it came to creating something potentially destructive that could make a big boom, his logic and reason took control. If he was to keep these little filly Oppenheimers safe, he had to consider their well-being first of all and check if this kit was secure to use in the first place.
He let out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll help you with this. But!” Magnus held up his hand, his index finger extended as a warning. “I want to read the manual and see if this kit is safe to use, and how to use all this correctly. Got it?”
The fillies exchanged questioning glances, their unpacking paused before they turned back to Magnus again and nodded. “I guess that’s fair. You’re our adult supervisor after all,” Scootaloo said.
Magnus took his time reading through the instruction manual and eventually he had to concede that the kit was safe. It even stated that the kit was for nearly all ages, but young ponies should have an adult present. Black powder thankfully wasn’t one of the ingredients included to create all the colours of the firework, but many other strange things were. Dried rainbow was one such ingredient, and how ponies managed to get a hold of said ingredient made Magnus’ brain itch.
After a few moments spent wondering if this world was shitting him, Magnus gave up and turned to the three fillies who were eagerly waiting for him to give them the all-clear. “Well, this looks okay to me,” he said as he sat down on a rock. “Go on girls, build your fireworks. When the time comes to set it off, we still have to retreat to a safe distance, alright?”
The fillies whooped and hollered and dove right into building their first rocket, the excitement sparkling in their eyes. They even acted very professional about the whole thing… for about a minute.
“Should we make a big rocket or a small rocket first?” Sweetie Belle asked. She held a large tube while Scootaloo held a smaller one.
Apple Bloom hummed to herself while she alternated her gaze from tube to tube, when suddenly, she grinned. Once more, Magnus felt a chill run down his spine. “We’ll make a huge one!”
‘One part of me wants to object, but this other part of me wants to see where this goes…”
***
Pronking through town, Pinkie hauled a wagon behind her filled with all manner of baked goods, evidence that she wasn’t the only one in Ponyville with a sweet tooth. She only had one more delivery to complete before she needed to return to Sugarcube Corner to make something really special.
That was when her world was rocked. The only warning she got was from her Pinkie Sense; pinchy ears. She knew what it meant and immediately covered her ears.
A loud thunderous KA-BOOM resounded all throughout the town! Ponies near and far jumped in fear, with some even taking refuge underneath wagons or inside the closest building. When the sound died down, silence fell across the former sleepy town of Ponyville. In mere seconds, small crowds had formed with everypony trying to figure out what had just happened.
Pinkie was one of a handful of ponies who didn’t dive for cover. She stood in the middle of the street, the cart still attached to her harness and her mane and tail curliness doubled. Gently moving her hooves away from her ears, she shook herself lightly as she checked around to see what had just happened. The colourful mushroom cloud rising from a field on the outskirts of Ponyville was a big clue.
“Guess the fillies got their fireworks kit.” Pinkie grinned and once more cantered towards her next destination.
***
“Well, Ah think Ah speak for all of us when Ah say that fireworks experts is not our special talents,” Apple Bloom stated as she, her two friends, and Magnus wandered into the orchard of Sweet Apple Acres, heading for their clubhouse.
“Yeah, we got nothing to show for it,” Sweetie Belle murmured, seeming dejected from their failure.
“Except for a big boom,” Scootaloo added with a huge grin, turning to their adult supervisor for confirmation. “What do you think, Magnus? Wasn’t it awesome?”
The human didn’t respond, not until Scootaloo poked his leg. He glanced down at the filly. “WHAT? Did you want something, Scootaloo?” he shouted.
“I said, wasn’t it awesome?!” Scootaloo shouted back. Their adult supervisor was the last one to head for cover behind a large rock after the fuse was lit. Somehow, the fuse turned out to be defective as it burned much too quickly.
Magnus shook his head. “I can’t hear you! Hold on! Let me try something!” Holding his fingers over his nose, he took a deep breath in an attempt to make his eardrums pop, like a diver trying to equalize the pressure. Surprisingly, it worked, as just after a few seconds, Magnus heard a loud pop in his head and the sounds of the world returned in full. “Oh, there we go. God, I missed hearing things.”
“Anyway,” Apple Bloom said, “Ah think we should go onto the next step of our plan.”
Sweetie Belle nodded sagely. “Yeah, it wasn’t a good idea to use an old apple barrel for a tube and a fencepost as a guiding stick.”
“Sorry, girls, I should’ve said something,” Magnus admitted. In the heat of the creation process, his curiosity took over and he wanted to see what would happen. Years ago, he and some of his friends had attempted to make explosions just for the fun of it. Their finest attempt was filling a huge metal barrel with a mix of oxygen and acetylene gas and then placing the whole thing in an old outhouse at an abandoned farm near town. The largest piece they found afterwards was half the outhouse door. “If your sisters get mad at you, just say that I was responsible.”
“No can do, we are responsible Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Scootaloo cheerfully replied.
‘Honest to a fault, even if it means they’ll be grounded until they’re senior citizens.’
They reached the clubhouse and Magnus was of course invited in. It differed from a treehouse built by human children, in that it had a ramp leading up to the structure. It made sense, as a ladder would be difficult for a pony to climb. The inside seemed quite cozy, with curtains, actual glass windows, a small table, as well as different decorations on the wall, one being a huge poster filled with a variety of symbols resembling cutie marks.
Apple Bloom made her way over to said poster and crossed out a mark that depicted a rocket. “Fireworks cutie mark was a bust. Let’s move over to the next one.”
While the three fillies debated what to try next, Magnus sat down in a corner to rest. He still wasn’t quite adjusted to his new legs. While sitting there, he perused the list of things the infamous Cutie Mark Crusaders had attempted before. The list wasn’t written in words, rather, what they had tried was drawn in the likeness of a cutie mark. There was the mark of a hammer and nails, obviously something that had to do with carpentry; a mark depicted a hang glider which needed no explaining. There were paintbrushes, parachutes, a punching bag, a white uniform and black belt, and an assortment of others. Just how long had they been doing this?
Then the enthusiastic voice of Scootaloo cut in. “Then it’s settled. We’ll ask Hard Hat if we can try to be roofers!”
Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Well, okay. That doesn’t sound so dangerous. If they don’t get a cutie mark from it, they’ll at least have the job experience.’
***
The three fillies stood on top of the half-finished roof of a second story house. The house was nearing completion and the only thing that remained was finishing the roof. Hard Hat, the building foreman, had allowed the three fillies up top so that he could teach them how to lay bundles of straw to make the roof watertight. At least, that was what was supposed to happen…
“Ah thought you had the crate of straw, Sweetie Belle.”
“And I thought Scootaloo had it,” Sweetie firmly stated, yet still peeking down at the street level.
“I never had it. I was busy placing the straw just like Hard Hat told us to,” Scootaloo replied.
The three fillies stood at the edge of the roof, carefully peering down at Magnus. A steady stream of words in an unknown language came from below.
“That’s gotta hurt,” Scootaloo commented. “Good thing Hard Hat had enough hard hats for all of us, even one for Magnus too.”
“Mhm. What do you think he’s saying?” Sweetie asked.
Apple Bloom hummed to herself for a second. “Ah think he’s cussing, ‘cause he sounds just like Big Mac that time he stepped on a rusty nail.”
***
Back at the club house, Scootaloo crossed out the roofing cutie mark. “Now what? Any ideas?” she asked Sweetie and Apple Bloom.
Magnus sat leaned against the wall, nursing the bump on his head with an ice pack, courtesy of Granny Smith. He could feel his own pulse on the swelling and sucked air through his teeth each time it throbbed.
‘It was just an accident,’ he thought to himself. The hard hat had worked as intended and took the brunt of the damage. Nevertheless, the three fillies had apologized to him, and being a responsible and understanding adult, Magnus forgave them because he knew it was an accident.
After a while, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle still hadn’t decided, and Magnus could see on their faces that they were getting bored.
‘Maybe I can suggest something then. They asked me for ideas earlier, so maybe something that can work off a bit of their energy.’
“Hey, girls,” Magnus said, getting their attention. “I have an idea for something you can try. Ever heard of ~soccer~?”
***
After receiving a rundown of how soccer was played, the CMC were immediately on board with the idea. How cool would it be to have an alien sport for a cutie mark? They simply couldn’t resist. The fillies were quick to round up a few extra classmates in their game of ‘hoofball’. They called it that after hearing how the game was played, as the word ‘soccer’ had no direct translation to Equish.
Some of the fillies and colts were a bit hesitant in playing with the relatively strange, towering human, but after the CMC vouched for him and they got the chance to speak with him and seeing he was a pleasant person, they were eager to play. The teams were divided equally. Magnus was assigned being a goalie and had performed his job admirably… up until now.
It happened when the referee, a scrawny little pegasus colt named Featherweight, called a penalty buck, and the filly to buck the ball was an earth pony filly named Lily Longsocks. Everyone gathered knew of Lily’s unusual strength, everyone except Magnus. Although he did stop the ball from passing between the posts they used as a goal, it wasn’t his hands that caught it.
The CMC were quick to check on Magnus when they saw him go down. That was five minutes ago and he still hadn’t gotten up. Unable to speak, he was kneeling in the grass with his head resting on the ground, his horn buried in the dirt and his hands tucked someplace the fillies couldn’t see. The only sound they heard was an occasional faint high-pitched squeak.
On the sidelines stood the colts, pale, and with a grimace of sympathetic pain on their faces.
***
Back at the clubhouse, Magnus’ new ice pack was tucked underneath his pants so that the fillies couldn’t see it. Although the pain had lessened slightly, he was sure that on the off-chance he was still able to father children, they would be born screaming louder than usual.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Sculptors! Yay!”
***
Thirty minutes later, Magnus once more had an ice pack, this one resting on his hoof. While carving a block of stone at Chiselmark’s studio, the CMC managed to tip over a hefty block of marble while eagerly chipping away with hammers and chisels. Fortunately, the block tipped away from the fillies. Unfortunately, the block tipped towards Magnus and struck him right on the tip of his hoof.
***
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Newspaper Printers! Yay!”
***
Magnus’ pants, part of his shirt, and all the fur on his legs were now covered in black ink.
***
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Lumberjacks! Yay!”
Magnus considered himself a careful man, and knowing a bit about the dangers of felling trees from his winter job, he kept a very close eye on Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo while they chopped down a small tree. Somehow, the tree fell on another tree, changed direction, and almost fell on him. The only damage he sustained was to the back of his shirt as the branches tore a piece out of it. He himself was unharmed.
By now, Magnus was dead sure that Discord was somewhere nearby, and even though he went hunting for him, the Spirit of Chaos was nowhere in sight.
***
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Firefighters! Yay!”
Taking every possible precaution he could think of, Magnus built a tiny bonfire on a pile of stacked stones in a shallow part of the pond near Sweet Apple Acres. There the fillies could practice extinguishing a fire without any incident whatsoever. Nothing should be able to go wrong here. Apple Bloom found some old pesticide hoof pumps in the barn, filled them with water, and then the fillies could douse the fire. It was a foolproof plan.
Staring in disbelief at the burning pond, Magnus, his hands resting on his hips, shook his head in disbelief and turned to the CMC. “How?!”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo gave each other unsure looks before shrugging. Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle unscrewed the cap on the pesticide pump and sniffed the contents. She quickly pulled her muzzle away. “Ew, this isn’t water. I think you switched the pumps, Apple Bloom.”
Apple Bloom plucked the pump from Sweetie, smelled the contents and grimaced. “Ah just filled up three from a pile of these things! There were so many of them, Ah guess Ah could have switched them when Ah left! What is this stuff anyway?”
Magnus took the pump from Apple Bloom and read the label on the side. ‘Contains 80% alcohol.’
***
By the time the fillies called it a day, they were still without cutie marks. Still, they were unharmed and their coats weren’t covered in anything that required a long soapy bath or vigorous scrubbing. All they needed now was a meal and a good night's sleep. The same couldn’t be said for their supervisor, however...
“Finally,” Magnus nearly whimpered as he dragged his hooves after him, spotting Twilight’s castle appearing from behind the last house, happiness nearly overwhelming him. “Safety!” he exclaimed while ponies watched him limp towards the crystal castle, all in wonder of what had happened to the human.
Each and every article of clothing he wore was either partially torn, had new holes in them, and was splattered with generous amounts of ink all over it. That included his legs as well, from his knees all the way to his hooves. The only unharmed thing he carried was the paper bag with the framed pictures he had picked up at Snapshot's studio a few minutes ago. His hoof still ached, the bump on his head didn’t hurt as much now, and his groin was less tender, though it still hurt to walk. Not to mention a few bruises, scrapes from a run-in with a rose bush, bee stings, and the pain in his ass. The last one was the CMC’s last attempt of the day; sheep herding. The ram didn’t like ponies near his girls, and showed his displeasure by trying to ram Sweetie Belle. Magnus managed to push away Sweetie at the last second, but had to take the full force of the ram’s head and horns to his backside.
“Any moment now! I’ll soon be safe from the Three Fillies of the Apocalypse!” Magnus whispered maniacally. With a psychotic giggle, he laid his hand on the brass doorknob and pulled open the door.
“SURPRISE!”
*BOOM*
The world went white, nearly. Off-white, almost like whipped cream with a hint of red, then Magnus was pushed violently backwards. Although the split second he lost balance felt like a minute, he had plenty of time to ponder the events of the day, and came to the conclusion that the universe, the fates, and everything deity-like in existence had decided to tag team him today.
His stumbling came to an end as he landed on his butt halfway down the short stairs, the pain the ram caused flaring up again. At the doors, Pinkie whooped and hollered with glee. “Were you surprised, huh? Were you?”
Behind Pinkie stood Twilight, Spike, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and lastly, Rainbow Dash, all of them smiling. “Ah think he was,” Applejack commented with a laugh while they stared at the unmoving shape of the human who sat still on the stairs, his face covered with a mix of strawberry cream and cake with rainbow sprinkles to add a little colour.
Magnus didn’t say or move an inch. His silence dragged on as the girls gave each other unsure looks. Finally, Twilight made her way down the stairs until she stood right in front of the human. “We tried to talk Pinkie out of loading her cannon with strawberry cake, but she insisted. She’s been keeping this surprise secret for days now.” No words came from Magnus, only silence. “Um, Magnus? Are you alright?”
A hole appeared in the cream covering Magnus’ face, and the presence of teeth and a tongue indicated it was his mouth. He took a deep breath, closed his mouth, and brought his hand to his face, a finger covering something. With a sharp exhale, one of his nostrils was cleaned of cream. He repeated the procedure on the other one and sighed. “Why is there strawberry-flavoured cream in my sinuses?” he asked, his voice filled with a calmness that a zen-master would acknowledge with a courteous nod.
“Because you’ve been running around with Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom all day! You gotta be exhausted, and you have to have some energy for tonight!” Pinkie gleefully stated. “Also, chewing takes too long. Just shoot the cake and sugar down into your tummy! I tried it once! I call it ‘Express Sugar Delivery’, no need for chewing!”
“...Of course… Silly me, what was I thinking?” Magnus wiped away the cream from his face, too beaten and tired to even bother to be angry. He shook the cream out from his hair and looked up at Pinkie. The mare was so excited, she couldn’t stand still; she was literally vibrating. “Okay, I gotta ask; why do I need energy for tonight?”
“Ah-ah-ah, not yet,” Rarity quickly cut off Pinkie, who had opened her mouth. “You need to clean yourself up first of all. Just look at the state you are in! And your clothes! Oh, stars, what happened to them? And what happened to you?”
Slowly, Magnus stood up. “Your sisters did. They are adorable, but dangerous to look after.”
The mares giggled at Magnus’ comment, not to mention his disheveled appearance. “You must be exaggerating. Go upstairs and fill the bathtub and you can wash off all that grime, put on a fresh set of clothes while we get the rest of the surprise ready,” Twilight suggested.
Too weary to protest, Magnus picked up his bag of framed photos, followed her in and headed upstairs while the others, Spike included, went to the library, whispering and smiling secretively. Obviously they had something planned. What that could be Magnus didn’t know. Nevertheless, a warm bath sounded good right about now.
‘Exaggerating? Bah! That’s like saying Hitler threw a temper tantrum in ‘39.’
***
A warm bath did do wonders to an abused body. Who would have known? A clean set of clothes and brushed teeth also went a long way into helping him put the memory of today’s events behind him, as well as allowing him to remove a wedged thorn from between his teeth.
By the time Magnus made his way down to the library he felt like a new man, ready to… well, not take on the world, but at least he felt prepared for whatever Pinkie had arranged. He guessed that it was probably party related somehow. He knew from Twilight and the others that Pinkie would throw a party for just about everything, and since he was leaving tomorrow, a goodbye party didn’t sound too far-fetched.
Magnus reached the library doors and pushed them open. Inside stood Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and of course, Spike. However, there were two other ponies Magnus had met earlier, namely Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. All of them were engaged in conversation when he entered but quickly turned around when they heard him.
Magnus took two steps in and noticed how the familiar library had changed. For starters, the round tables around the room had been pushed together, with pillows for everyone to sit on. On the tables, there were copious amounts of various drinks, but also a somewhat modest cake. Best of all, on large serving platters on the tables was two steaming fresh pizza straight from the oven, and its delightful scent threw Magnus for a slight spin.
On the side of the room stood a wooden barrel on a stand, with a spigot attached to it, and plenty of mugs ready to be filled. There were even a few corked brown bottles there.
But it didn’t end there! Vinyl had been busy too; her music setup was pushed up against one of the walls, with speakers and mixing table and a whole lot of records to boot. And if that wasn’t enough, the ponies had also hung a projection screen on one of the flat walls with an old-fashioned movie projector, and in front of the screen were couches and pillows to lie on. It was like a home movie theater!
Magnus was speechless as he looked around the room at all they had done. “What… have you…?” He locked eyes with Pinkie, the mare beaming at him. “Pinkie? Is this your surprise?”
She nodded and smiled. “Since you didn’t like my first party, I decided to do another one that you’d like. I planned this ever since I asked you what human parties are like and what kind of parties you like best. The girls helped too, you know.”
“You all knew Pinkie was up to this?” Magnus asked the assembled ponies.
“Of course. We’ve been helping Pinkie for days,” Twilight answered. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders offered to help keep you busy today while we prepared everything.” Twilight pulled out a checklist and read over it once. “At least, this should be everything, according to Pinkie’s description. We all pitched in where we could.”
Pinkie pronked over to the tables where the pizzas and a cake stood ready to be devoured. “Fluttershy helped me with the cake and pizza today. Rainbow did her part too.”
Rainbow nodded and rubbed a foreleg, shying away from meeting his eyes. “I… I flew to Cloudsdale yesterday and bought meat from a griffin vendor. Pinkie said that you like it on pizza.”
Magnus’ head snapped to the tables and the pizza. “It has meat?” he exclaimed, now knowing why the pizza smelled so good. It looked like… BACON! Food of the Gods!
“Uh, yeah, it’s um… pig. I hope you like it,” Rainbow replied weakly.
“And Applejack brought something special from Sweet Apple Acres!” Pinkie announced.
“Ah sure did.” Applejack walked over to the barrel and tapped it with a hoof. “Sweet Apple Acres Cider, two years old. Sweet tasting with a good buck to it.”
“And you said you like beer, so we found that too!” Pinkie danced over to the table, waving at the brown bottles. “Not my cup of sugar, but you’ll like it!”
“I, for one, decided to pull in a small favour from Mayor Mare.” Rarity walked over to the screen and the movie projector. “She graciously allowed me to borrow the town’s movie projector and screen for the day. Sadly, the amount of film reels town hall had was low, but I suppose a little old-fashioned comedy fits all audiences, don’t you think?”
“I… I don’t know what to say,” Magnus stuttered, more than a bit in awe at the surprise they had worked on. “But where do Vinyl and Octavia come in?”
“Pinkie Pie asked us to join tonight,” Octavia spoke up. “Pinkie said, and I quote, “You all looked like you clicked when we came to visit the other day. Magnus likes music, and so do you!”” She even managed a decent impression of Pinkie’s way of speaking. Vinyl shoulder-bumped Octavia. Standing on two legs, she mimicked doing… something? “And of course, Vinyl decided to bring the music,” Octavia added.
“So, that’s it.” Twilight smiled at Magnus. “We all helped make a human party, the kind you like. What do you think?”
Magnus was unable to form an immediate response. He was overwhelmed at what the ponies had done to make him feel welcome. The last thing he expected was for Pinkie to plan all of this in order to make him feel welcome after the first failed welcome party she threw for him almost two weeks ago.
There was good food, drinks, music, movie, ponies he could call… well, at this point, they were no longer acquaintances. Perhaps they were… friends?
“I…” Magnus searched for the right words, but failed to find any that were adequate. “I mean, what can I say? All this just to make me feel welcome?” He rested his hands on his back while simply staring at everything they had pulled together to make this happen.
Well, he wasn’t in a position to reject this party, not anymore. This was as close to a Saturday evening back home as he could get, and home was so far away right now. It had been a long time since he just kicked back and relaxed with a cold one and good company. Tonight was as good as ever.
Taking a deep, invigorating breath, he looked at each and every one of the assembled ponies. “Thank you, all of you. This… It really means a lot to me, that you would go to this length in order to make me feel welcome.” The ponies gave him understanding smiles in return, knowing that their efforts had truly paid off.
“Sooooo,” Pinkie inched towards him, wiggling her eyebrows. “Does this mean you like it?”
Magnus chuckled and knelt in front of Pinkie, patting her curly mane. “Yes, Pinkie, I definitely like this.”
Pinkie jumped into the air and pumped her hoof in triumph. “Woohoo! Still got it!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “Oh, and can you do that thing again? With your hand in my mane? It felt nice.”
***
The new party had just about everything Magnus could have hoped for, with a few minor adjustments. The cake was pretty good, but as with most pony pastries, was slightly too sweet for his tastes. Still, one slice and he was good to go into the next course, which was the pizza. While beef was his favourite meat on pizza, salty bacon was a close second. Even though Pinkie and Fluttershy made several, one with meat for Magnus and vegan for the others, it tasted really good. He didn’t think they would have gotten it right, being herbivores and all, but one bite ensured that their efforts far exceeded his expectations.
After the food was devoured, the alcohol beverages were brought out. The ponies all favoured the cider, and Magnus the beer. Spike didn’t mind only having only soda, given his age. And was common when alcoholic drinks were present, conversation flowed freely and laughter was guaranteed. Quite often, Magnus was asked to tell about something from Earth, and he gave what he could offer. Stories were abundant, especially the funny ones from his youth.
And he had several.
“So there we were, Adam and I, trying to make alcohol for the first time, using Adam’s dad’s old still. No fancy mash, just water, sugar, and yeast, which we had left to ferment for a few days. We poured it all into the still in the old shed behind the house to cook. Not even two hours later, Adam’s dad came home and asked us why we left the garden hose running outside. We were just sixteen and didn’t have the guts to tell him we were using his old still, so Adam just said he used it to wash his bicycle but forgot to turn it off.”
“‘Well, no harm done. I just turned it off for you. Can’t waste water,’ the old man said. It was then that Adam almost turned white. Now, if you didn’t know, you need cold water to condense the alcohol, and if you don’t have cold water, the alcohol turns to steam. And it just so happened that we used the garden hose to run water into the shed.”
“Ah can already see where this is going,” Applejack chuckled and pushed back the brim of her hat with a wooden mug of cider in hoof.
“Yeah, exactly. Adam and I both sprinted outside to turn the hose back on, but before we reached the door, we heard this loud thud coming from behind the house. The still blew up, taking with it the shed, the lawnmower, and tools worth hundreds of dollars. Adam was grounded for two months, and I got three. I also had to pay off the damage I helped cause. You have no idea how many odd little jobs I did around town the next six months,” Magnus explained, a bottle of beer in hand while chuckling to himself. He still remembered that explosion vividly, and each time he thought back to it, he laughed. He wasn’t the only one, as the ponies all laughed. Even Vinyl joined in, though it was weird seeing no sound escape her.
‘Heh, well, at least they’re having as much fun as I am.’
***
The Equestrian movie industry was a surprise to Magnus, in that he was shocked it even existed. To be honest, he didn’t expect much. Still, watching old black and white movies with slapstick comedy involving magic, flying, and earth pony strength was a lot funnier than one could imagine. However, the movie clip that made Magnus laugh the most was similar to an old Abbott and Costello skit, and it involved two earth ponies named Round Barrel and Tall tree discussing a game called Buckball.
“Who’s the earth pony, What’s the pegasus, and I don’t Know the unicorn,” the pony named Tall Tree stated matter-of-factly as he listed the names of the team members to Round Barrel, who grew more and more frustrated as he many times over asked the names of the ponies involved, as well as the team’s spare members, but simply got nowhere.
By the end of the clip, Magnus had tears rolling down his cheeks.
***
Vinyl eventually opened the night’s music with a few of her own creations; bass-laden upbeat tunes which were suitable for a bit of dancing, and some more relaxing and laid-back. Ponies took to the dance floor to shake a leg, and Magnus discovered that ponies liked dancing, or at least moving to the tunes being played. The only one who hesitated was Fluttershy, and Octavia was content to sit on the couch with a mug of cider. Magnus too was asked to show how humans dance, but he gently declined.
‘If they knew that I grow two left feet after all the beer and cider I’ve had so far, they would definitely wanna see me dance. Still, I doubt I can be worse than Twilight.’ The poor mare waved her fore and hind legs around so much, Magnus wondered if he should leave her to dance or try to restrain her in case she had an epileptic seizure.
After playing her music for a while, Vinyl approached Magnus, and through the use of written notes, explained that she had something she wanted to show him. It appeared as a simple black box with metal edges, the type musicians and their crew use when transporting instruments, cables, and other delicate devices. However, this box was padded with sound-insulating material on the inside and also contained a single microphone hooked up to her mixing table. Vinyl explained that the box was a crude, homemade version of the advanced setup her brother used to record music. It was in fact a miniature sound studio!
Eager to test it, Magnus and Vinyl simply had to try. Fortunately, Magnus’ cell phone was in a good mood, and after once more sprouting legs and arms, it jumped into the box and… began warming up by performing stretching exercises.
Vinyl pushed up her sunglasses and gave Magnus a confused gaze. “Discord’s work.” Vinyl’s mouth opened slightly as she nodded.
“Okay then, little buddy, give it your best shot. Start with… can you play Jump, by Van Halen? It wasn’t stored on the phone.” He received a thumbs up from his phone. “Great! The stage’s yours.” As the lid closed, Magnus looked to Vinyl. “Never gonna get used to that; too weird.” Vinyl covered her mouth with a hoof and giggled silently.
Moments later, the sound of music from the eighties sounded from Vinyl speakers, making all the ponies and one dragon’s head turn to the source of this unfamiliar music. It took but a moment before they found that this new music was also extremely danceable, despite being sung in an unknown language. After Magnus explained the lyrics to whoever wanted to hear, it made much more sense. That was why Pinkie began to jump around like a madman, all while singing “Go ahead and pronk!”
The evening rolled on as popular music from Earth’s eighties and nineties rocked a crystal castle on a planet populated by mythological creatures. So it was then that Magnus went to fill up his mug with chilled cider, sat down on the couch, chugging the cold beverage and told himself, “Life… isn’t so bad.”
***
“So… to con—hic—clude, the-they don’t think it be that way…” Magnus inhaled deeply, clearing away some of the mysterious fog that surrounded him before exhaling and finally draining the rest of his cider. “But it do.”
Pinkie gasped. “Wooooow… that’s so deep…” She was leaning over the table, resting her head in her hooves with a silly grin on her face. She too had been drinking, but a lot less than him. Still, she was being the same ol’ Pinkie, just a bit more relaxed. “You should meet my sister, Maud. You’re just as poetic as her.”
“Maybe I will, one day.” Setting down his empty mug, Magnus rested his head on his hand and burped. Pinkie was fun to talk to, especially when he’d had more to drink. She made sense then, in a weird way. If only he remembered what they were talking about.
He sighed deeply in his alcohol-induced bliss. He was drunk, that much was clear, but not so much that he had to vomit or pass out. No, he had had just enough. Now, everything was funny, and he knew from experience that he shouldn’t drink any more, else he had hell to pay tomorrow.
The party was coming to its end. Spike had gone to bed, and Fluttershy and Rarity had gone home, Rarity using her friend as literal support to keep her course straight. Applejack was still standing relatively unscathed, though he was positive that she’d drunk twice the amount he did. Only the slight wobble in her step and her laughter betrayed her intoxication. Pinkie was ready to continue, as if there was any chance she’d leave now.
As for the rest? Well, Twilight and Octavia had both fallen asleep on separate couches, the first one proving to be a lightweight. Twilight had somehow created a nest of books that she snored in the centre of. There was even one precariously balanced book on the tip of her horn.
‘How long has that been th—oh yeah, we were playing Jenga a while ago.’
Octavia had probably tried to keep up with Vinyl and failed. The DJ had been drinking with both forelegs and her magic, and still looked like she was at a rave party. He still wasn’t sure where she got those glow sticks from.
Then there was the final pony, who Magnus had kept an eye on as she sat with Applejack. She just watched her friends dance, ate a cold slice of pizza, and nursed her cider. She’d only interacted with her friends half-heartedly and danced when Pinkie literally pulled her to the dance floor. She hadn’t even been drinking much at all, just sitting there and sulking like she’d just heard that flying wasn’t cool anymore.
In short, Rainbow Dash wasn’t having fun. As a matter of fact, she seemed downright miserable. Even though Magnus disliked Rainbow after the shit she pulled, he didn’t exactly see her as friend or enemy, just a pony he disliked due to her past behavior and one who he tried to avoid.
Now though, Rainbow looked absolutely pitiful. Like an abandoned kitten in a soggy cardboard box on the side of the road with cold wind blowing dust and debris around her, she gazed from one pony to another, searching for someone who would talk with her. Applejack was merely the last one out of a long line of friends who had attempted to cheer her up. Although it worked, cheering up Rainbow only lasted for a short while, as long as they got her mind on something else.
It was one thing about ponies that Magnus had pondered over, something that was absolutely true, even when it came to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna; their overall adorable appearance, expressive faces, and large eyes made them look like kittens or puppies in a way, like they were sending out signals that they were small, helpless, and needed shelter and comfort. Those thoughts ran through his mind as he stood up, wondering why he was thinking about what he was about to do. Did he feel sorry for her? Not really. Did he have any comforting words for her? Bah! Was he currently eloquent enough to get Rainbow out of the ditch she was in? He burped loud enough to drown out the music.
“Gonna see how the local taser is doing, Pinkie,” he slurred as he stood up. “And gotta tell Twilight something’s wrong with the floor; it’s slanted, contractor messed up.”
“Okaaayyyy,” Pinkie giggled-snorted.
Magnus homed in on Rainbow. She was too occupied with Applejack that she didn’t see him approaching. Applejack, however, did.
“Gonna get me some more cider, Rainbow, and look after Pinkie; she’s stacking more books on Twi.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll just sit here.” Magnus heard the disappointment in Rainbow’s voice as Applejack left. Perhaps the fact that the apple farmer had talked to her was enough to stave away some of Rainbow’s misery, and now that she left, Rainbow was alone with her own thoughts again.
For a moment, the rainbow-maned pegasus simply sat there, dejectedly staring into her mug. Then Magnus fell into the seat next to her, startling her. He exhaled slowly through his lips, blowing a lazy raspberry and said nothing. Neither man nor pony said a word, and the silence quickly became awkward.
Magnus lazily turned his head to Rainbow. “You messed up.”
Rainbow’s head sagged. She looked away and nodded weakly. “I… I did. I thought it would be a funny joke.”
“If I knew how this world worked, then yeah, I think it would've been funny. But when something like that can kill a man… Not so funny then, knowing you barely dodged the Reaper’s scythe.”
Magnus sighed and turned his attention to Pinkie and Applejack. Pinkie stacked the books while Applejack fetched more.
“I can handle a joke or prank just fine, but pranks around here, they’re different. What Pinkie and Jackie are doing right now? That’s funny.” He chuckled and turned to Rainbow Dash, who still avoided his gaze, staring quietly at the floor. “But a lightning bolt? I thought I was gonna die!”
He shook his head and sighed. “Still, you keep trying to find me around town, even when I avoid you or cross through an alley to get away. We agreed that we were back at square one, not friends, not enemies. I’m not the kinda guy who just stops a random stranger on the street just for the sake of conversation. I’ve actively avoided you. So, why do you try to talk to me all the time?”
Rainbow sat still, just moving her mug around to make the golden liquid swirl. “B-Because… I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Magnus blinked. “What?”
Rainbow nodded. “I never said I’m sorry, you know, not properly. That day when I left the castle, I never apologized to you. I can’t remember what I said, I was just... I can’t even remember flying home! I just sat in my bedroom, staring at the wall, thinking how I almost killed you. I did that all night. And when I fell asleep, I had these terrible nightmares.”
“About?” Magnus asked, his curiosity awakened. The whole incident had apparently affected Rainbow Dash more than he imagined.
“About you dead in the grass because of me, covered in burns and blisters and your clothes burning.” Rainbow sniffled. “Princess Luna has helped me in my dreams. She’s chased away the nightmares each night, but the next night, I have them all over again. I nap on a cloud or in a tree every day, but the nightmares return, and Princess Luna isn’t awake to help me then.”
“So what did she tell you to do?”
“She told me that I should apologize to you, like, really do it, not just mumble it to you, but ask your forgiveness. The nightmares might stop then. But every time I’ve tried, you ran away. I didn’t want to chase you either, ‘cause you’d think I was trying to hurt you again.”
“...Oh.” Now things made a bit more sense, at least as much sense as the alcohol in his system allowed him to. It was no wonder why Rainbow stalked him each and every day; she suffered nightmares during the night and the day.
‘A fitting punishment, if there ever was one,’ Magnus mused.
Now he had another dilemma to deal with. He didn’t want much to do with Rainbow in the first place, but he didn’t want to be the source of her misery either. After all, he was leaving tomorrow and chances were that he wouldn’t be coming back in a while, which meant that Rainbow’s nightmares and guilt would continue to gnaw at her.
Scratching his chin, he glanced down at Rainbow. After a closer look, he noticed that she looked like she hadn’t slept well in days—bags under her reddened eyes, droopy wings and ears. She really looked helpless and lost. Not even her friends could help her out of her funk. Ultimately, he realized it was his decision to either forgive Rainbow and let the both of them move on with their lives, or he could let her suffer the consequences of her actions.
Magnus mulled over his options for a moment. While letting Rainbow stew in her misery sounded tempting, he didn’t want Twilight and her friends to get involved to get them to patch things up.
However, all it took for Magnus to make up his mind was look down at Rainbow. “Like an abandoned kitten,” he sighed.
Magnus stood up and walked away from Rainbow. He could feel her eyes on his back, as if she was watching her little ray of hope disappear. Pinkie and Applejack were also looking on, their faces sagging with disappointment. However, Magnus didn’t go further than the keg. He filled two mugs, walked back to the couch, and sat down again. He held out a mug to Rainbow Dash.
“Take it,” he commanded. “The one you’ve got is warm.”
Rainbow looked at the mug, then at Magnus, and hesitatingly did as he asked. “Cheers,” he said, holding his mug to Rainbow. She slowly lifted her mug to his, barely making contact. Magnus wasted no time and eagerly drained half the mug while Rainbow barely touched hers.
“Oh, that’s a good one.” Magnus felt the chilled cider, smooth as butter, working its way down to his stomach, smiling broadly before facing Rainbow. “Now, onto you, Blackbird.”
“I‘m not Blackbird; he lives in Cloudsdale,” Rainbow muttered.
“Don’t give a shit. This is about you and me.” Magnus leaned closer to Rainbow and flashed her a drunken grin. ”Now you can apologize.”
Rainbow blinked once, then twice. “Really? You’ accept?” she asked, her voice full of hope.
Magnus nodded and burped.
Rainbow stayed silent for a few moments while she gathered her thoughts, and when she was done, she looked up to Magnus. “I-I was so sure it would be a fun prank. It’s what I do with my friends sometimes, especially Pinkie. I thought it would be a way to make you laugh, seeing as you sometimes seemed so sad. But I never knew it could turn out so bad.” The next words she said, Magnus was sure that Rainbow’s eyes were shimmering, but that could have been the alcohol playing with his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Magnus looked at Rainbow, then he took a swig of the cider and burped. “Apology accepted. Now drink; you’re too far behind everybody else. Drink like you mean it.”
A few seconds of silence followed, and then Rainbow launched herself at Magnus, hugging his chest as if her life depended on it. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed loud enough to make Pinkie and Applejack turn around to see what was going on. They both smiled when they saw that the situation between them had been resolved. Magnus though, he just pointed a hand at Rainbow and shrugged.
But Rainbow was far from done. She hugged him tighter and repeatedly apologized. She also announced how she was going to be more careful in the future, along with a string of words he couldn’t clearly understand on account of Rainbow’s voice being muffled by her muzzle being squished onto his chest.
“Aw, come on now, Speedy Gonzales, you’re being overly emotional,” Magnus said, rubbing Rainbow’s unruly mane. She ignored him for a while, and when she was done, she extricated herself from him, rubbing her eyes, and flashing him a confident grin.
“Awesome! You forgiving me, I mean. I just wish we’d have more time together, just like you had with the others. I had plans for our day together, you know?”
“Oh? And what were these plans of yours?” Magnus asked, finishing off his cider.
Rainbow drained the last of hers, and released a loud belch. Very unladylike, but perhaps very Rainbow-like. “Showing off my moves first of all, but I also planned to show you how we make weather, where to check your local weather schedule—in case you had plans for any outdoors activity—and I also planned to teach you about the Wonderbolts. Guess we can’t do that now,” she finished, her excitement slightly subsiding.
“Yeah,” Magnus replied quietly. “I’m not gonna stay in Ponyville; I might just plan to make my home in Canterlot somewhere. But I’ll probably visit, and if it takes too long, I guess letters works too.”
“Letters are okay, but until then…” Rainbow jumped off the couch, snagging Magnus’ mug and galloping over to the cider keg, filling up both before making a leap into the air and gliding back to him, presenting him with a full mug. “I think we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
Throughout the night, Magnus and Rainbow talked about many things and emptied many mugs of cider, even after Applejack wobbled home. Pinkie never left the castle; she joined pegasus and human on the couch, listening and chiming in on whatever they talked about. But what Pinkie saw that night was Magnus and Rainbow’s friendship, once dead, being slowly awakened, and it warmed her pink heart seeing two once not-friends, slowly becoming friends again. They weren’t quite there yet, but it was progress in the right direction.
Magnus would have regrets concerning this night, but he wouldn’t be aware of them until the next day and his inevitable hangover.
Happy new year everybody! I hope you all had a nice Christmas celebration with good food, good drink, and good company. I know I did. Even though I only live an hour or so away from my parents, I don't visit as often as I used to, but it's good to come home once in a while to unwind. There's no sound of traffic, or people walking by, or any city noises. Instead, there's just the sound of... well, nothing, except the wind I guess. Perfect in order to relax.
So, this chapter. Don't know what to say about it, other than a few things. The CMC situation was one thing I wanted to add. The Crusaders are a good source of fun, especially cutie marks plans. Maybe I went a bit far with this one, but seeing as I think it was Rarity who mentioned in one episode that the fillies have a special talent when it comes to being covered in tree sap, their plans in this chapter was okay I guess.
Pinkie's new party I've had planned since day one, and I celebrate this chapter as a milestone of sorts, a human party in Equestria. Although we never see ponies drink alcohol, I'm sure they have it anyway. I doubt Princess Celestia instituted prohibition. I'm not sure what to make of Equestrian movie industry, but I think it exists. In case no one got it, the film clip Magnus laughed over was the Abbot and Costello baseball routine, which you can find here.
The Rainbow situation has been resolved too. I chose this because canonically speaking, the rest of the Mane Six would certainly do anything they could to make sure Rainbow and Magnus would become friends again, and Magnus just leaving Rainbow suffering wouldn't be true to his character.
As usual, JBL is the editor of this chapter, and I appreciate his skills immensely. Thanks JBL!
Also, a huge thank you to my readers and my followers, old and new. I look forward to reading your reactions to every new chapter! 
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Nice
Did Magnus have a bit of drunken fun???
So my inner Fenrisian wants me to stop reading at the mere mention of the traitors name but i will give the story the benefit of the doubt before i dismiss it out of hand.
yay
Good party, Pinks.
I'm enjoying that Pinkie is looking after him a little. Fills me with the warm and fuzzies.
More please. It's delicious.
9387779
Yep, sharing a few beers with friends is a good way to relax both the body and the tongue.
i really enjoyed the anxiety of twilight , a good laugh
oh....
if only Magnus had seen what they had done a couple days ago:
pre00.deviantart.net/f175/th/pre/i/2014/070/3/9/problem_solving_by_gray__day-d79phdu.png
he would be wise to worry more about keeping HIMSELF safe from these little filly Oppenheimers....
...seriously, they've already dabbled with nuclear reactions (hence, the "Badlands").
9394682
Oh damn, now I had red Alert 2 flashbacks, but with CMC voices for the Tesla Troopers. Apple bloom: "Tesla suit ready!" Scootaloo: "Charging up!" Sweetie Belle: "Rubber Shoes in motion!" and they all sound really excited about it all.
If it contains anthro, even a small amount, then PLEASE give it the anthro tag...
9408669
The anthro part is Magnus; he starts out human, but gets different bodyparts after coming to Equestria. Is he really anthro then or is he still human? I've asked myself this question a few times.
9408771
I suppose it depends on how he's getting those body parts. Is it via surgery for some reason, odd magical surges? Slow transformation over time?
9408940
If you've read all the way to the last chapter, you may already know how he got them. If we're getting technical, I had to check online to see, and Merriam-Webster gave a good definition:
1. described or thought of as having a human form or human attributes
anthropomorphic deities
stories involving animals
and 2. ascribing human characteristics to nonhuman things
anthropomorphic supernaturalism
anthropomorphic beliefs about nature
According to this, Magnus -as he was already human- should be given further human form or attributes, but it doesn't work, since he was already human. As far as I can see, this is a case of reverse anthropomorphism. I've been wrong since frickin' 2015!
9408955
I haven't read it at all yet. I was thinking about it when I saw in the description "Warning: Contains small amounts of Anthro.", but no anthro tag on the story. So I honestly don't know how he may or may not have gotten his various different parts.
9408995
Well okay. This subject has been brought up several times before and each time I give an explanation. If you give my story a chance things will get clearer as you go on.
so is this story alive or am I trying to read a corpse?
9411848
It's still very much alive, it's just that I'm not the fastest writer around.
Idk, I kinda want to smack Magnus for some of his issues.
Ah yes, the natural battle within the self.
"Do I make Big Boom? Or do I protect the child?"
Orc barbarian vs. Paladin. The answer is always Big Boom.
9851700
I was away from work for three months due to some medical related issue. After a month, I was gnawing on the wallpaper and had to find something to do. So I built a potato gun.
The first shot was so loud, the picture frames inside my parents house shook on the wall, and one neighbor called my dad, asking him if he knew what that explosion was.
Many more explosions were had in the months that followed.
Also, as a kid I went to Sweden a lot on vacation because I've relatives there. One thing Sweden had a lot of was firecrackers, which we always stocked up on. I can still remember the smell of black powder and burned cardboard.