There are many things that keep Bulk Biceps awake at night. Here are ten of those things.

My entry for the One Thousand Words contest.

Steve creates the Equestrian equivalent of Pepper for a local establishment.
Things quickly get out of hand after that.

Just don't forget the golden rule and you'll be fine:

Never use Pepper without Salt unless skilled.

A complete shitpost.
You have been warned

I also wrote this in like 2 hours and I will never get those 2 hours of my life back now

To escape from Tartarus is nearly impossible, even for one of great magical power. When you've lost your powers and are little more than a withered old centaur, it's even harder. But Tirek has a plan, one that will draw in a creature from a world where life is cheap, hats are plentiful, and gravel is king. Will the Spy take the opportunity to enjoy a well-earned vacation in this new world, or will he see the population of friendly, innocent ponies as just a fresh selection of backs to stab? It could be both!

(Takes place before the beginning of Season 9.)

When confronted by certain mortality, when you realize that your lifetime is measured in days,
When Destiny itself foretells your impending death ...

You tell to the world that your death is not the same as your end.

And Never. Stop. Moving.

Notes: Story starts roughly 1129 years before the show, and somewhat anachronistic in the beginning. Other characters may be added in when required.
Inspired by "Lord of Dorkness" and his vision of a trans-humanist future.
Inspired by my annoyance at how 90% of all Liches appear to be assholes.
HIATUS: My first criticism inspired me to fix the utterly jumbled mess that is the first arc, because it was written with no effort to continuity, and the assumption that nobody would read it. There's a lot of new stuff that needs to be added to bridge the gaping holes everywhere, but it ain't dead. Not until I die, anyways.

Arc 1: The Gathering of the Dead (1 - 25)
Arc 2: The March of the Dead (26 - 34)

Tags: Necromancy, Transhumanism, Lich, Cyborgs

When a boy squirrel and a girl squirrel love each other very much, Fluttershy decides to conduct a marriage for them on the most beautiful fields in Canterlot. But alas, President Obama decided that he wanted to golf in another plane of existence, so he uses executive action to build a portal to Equestria so he could golf there and ruin a poor squirrel's wedding. Fluttershy is not gonna take it! She and her friends (including Twisted Sister) fight back!

Yes it's a political satire/MLP trollfic. Don't'get too offended, it's supposed to be an over-exaggerated joke.

Tell me if you get the Adventure Time or Full House reference.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! That's the most likes I've ever gotten! Thanks everypony! (and I just found out it's slightly more popular than one of ROBCackeran53's lesser known stories. He's got more likes, but it's the same amount of votes, and this here story has more views and comments. I guess that's an accomplishment)

(I am not considering this my first story of 2015, since I wrote it mainly in 2014.)

So basically, our heroes win this battle with a combination of how the Guardians of the Galaxy won their battle (it was literally the power of friendship, which MLP had already done years before) and how Spongebob defeated Plankton in the Spongebob movie (the power of Rock and Roll, using a Twisted Sister song, although Spongebob's lyrics were altered)

My captor was kind, to a point. They provided me with a comfortable private suite, three meals a day, and tried to accommodate any of my needs within reason. It was a far cry from being locked away in a dingy dungeon or straight up killed, but I still was a bit wary about the true intentions of this alicorn. 

A gilded cage, however, is still a cage.

Edited by UnamusedWaffle. and INeedSleep

Thanks to Snuffy for proofreading chapter 9 part 1

Credit to Neither for the amazing cover art!

This story is a sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder

Schadenfreude is a simple pony. He enjoys the little things. Taking up as much room on an elevator as he likes. Sleeping through movies. And being a general annoyance to everyone around him.Of course, this leads to everyone around him disliking him on principle. Which only makes him smile wider.

After one too many "incidents" at his normal job, his employer takes it upon himself to "volunteer" him to work at the castle. As a butler.

For Prince Blueblood.

You can imagine the kind of shenanigans he gets up to now.

------------------------------------------------
See that [Incomplete] tag below? Yeah. It's happening.

You asked for it. Sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder, and the train wreck that started it all, Schadenfreude.

(New cover art by the fantastic TodayIWriteFanfics!)

Bobert lived a relatively normal life. He woke up, tended to the farm, abandoned his kids played with the children, and scammed passing visitors to the village.

However, one fateful night was all it'd take to change all of that forever.

A single bite. That's all it took for Bobert to fall to the undead. Were it not for the noble efforts of one of his scam victims trusted trading partners, Bobert wouldn't never seen the light of day again. At least, not without getting himself set on fire.

So anyway, Bobert decided it'd be neat to check out the swirly portal thing and now he's in Equestria. Equestria has pumpkins. Bobert must acquire them all.

Villagers were harmed in the making of this story.

Twilight was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

And then freakin' Robert here decides to become the resident elder god.

“Technically,” Celestia continued. “If any of us two ever married somepony, they’d be royalty too. They’d be loved by the population, right?”

“...sister, no.” The dark alicorn deadpanned.

“What?” Celestia protested. “You said you loved the night. If you married the night, she’d be a princess like us, and the ponies would love the night!”

Set in "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EPISODE TO CALL THIS". Not to be taken seriously.

Chinese translation here!