Ten Things That Keep Bulk Biceps Up At Night

Skittlebug #1 · Apr 16th, 2022 · 9 · ·

I’m scared of being old. Not because I’ll get frail– I’m gonna be in shape until I’m as old as Granny Smith. I’m worried about my mind! Things like dementia or Alzheimer's or Parkinson’s. It runs in my family! I try to keep my mind fit and active like I do my body, but can I keep it active enough to avoid getting those things? I can only hope. I want to be able to remember who my friends are.

Yea...that's me. That's probably the worst way to go, to slowly lose who you are until you forget how to eat, forget how to breathe.

And there's a family history of both for me.

Orderly Disassembly

Orderly Disassembly #2 · Apr 16th, 2022 · 7 · ·

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Things that are gonna keep me up tonight.

1. why does Bulk Biceps have such an active mind?

2. Why is Bulk Biceps more observant than me?

3. Why is Bulk Biceps this intelligent?

4. Apparently ponies feel existential dread to, GREAT!

5. the fact that I actually posted a comment on someone's story for once.

FrostyPony17

FrostyPony17 #3 · Apr 16th, 2022 · 2 · ·

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Hit it spot on for all of these, especially the Peeps. You could probably keep going with other ponies both background and main, I'd certainly read it!

overdue

overdue #4 · Apr 17th, 2022 · 7 · ·

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Dear liberals,

Rainbow Dash is FREAKY. She says things like “I’m twenty percent cooler than everypony”. Really? You’re twenty percent cooler than everypony? Everypony in ALL OF EQUESTRIA? How do you calculate something like that? Where’s your research? Was is peer reviewed?

Sincerely, Ben Shapiro
_{^{(Turning Point USA)}}

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #5 · Jun 7th, 2022 · 2 · ·

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There are few things more terrifying in Ponyville than actually paying attention to the world around you. No wonder Bulk stays up at night. (Also, Applejack's talent may include the ability to live off of nothing but apples and apple products... which just raises more questions.) Most entertaining glimpse into the inner life of a kind, lovable soul stuck in a living hell nopony else seems to recognize. Thank you for it.

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #6 · Jul 12th, 2022 · 1 · ·

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Sure, a protein bar every once in a while is nice, especially on the go, but most of them taste gross, are super expensive, and are not something that should be substituting actual FOOD.

so true bestie

#2: The Horror That Is Existence

wow, this escalated quickly! and same

With how intense she is about being positive that she’s twenty percent cooler than everypony else, I think she might be able to. I hope she’s not reading my mind right now…

dang, Bulk! you can't be taking Rainbows literally like that!

Honestly, Applejack is kind of scary. For as boring and honest a pony as she is, she’s definitely keeping some secrets.

honestly, same. also, it's fun to start the Applejack paragraph with "honestly".

It’s nothing but apples from what I’ve seen. Nothing. But. Apples. You can’t make the kind of gains she is without a widely varied diet, which hers is not.

this is true, but i chalk it up to ponies being magic and weird

They might be the best apples in all of Equestria (and believe me, I know they are with how good they taste), but no apple can substitute or beat out a balanced diet.

idk, maybe they're magical, nutritionally complete, macronutrient-balanced apples? with how the Apples talk them up that is what i would expect!

If Celestia is truly all powerful, how could she let something so horrible exist in Equestria?

hehe, i always love replacing "God" with "Celestia" in common human phrases. really makes you think!

It’s proof that she either isn’t as cracked up as everypony says she is or just doesn’t care about the common pony.

aww, those two are the usual ways writers solve the whole Celestia being so aloof thing

She really should be getting the Royal Guard stationed out here with how much happens in Ponyville lately.

i mean, given how they haven't been very helpful in all the past crises, it seems like what she's doing now is working! but yes, that is a disturbing amount of domestic terrorism when one sits down and counts it out like that

I just know half the ponies in Ponyville are gonna have gout or diabetes or heart disease or some other preventable condition because they didn’t take time to enrich their lives with exercise and healthy eating.

aww yeah, but i figure if Pinkie isn't diabetic at this point then who knows what pony diets have to do with anything

He just stares silently ahead with a thousand yard stare, like he’s reliving something horrible. I hope everything's okay with him.

aww, that is so sweet on Bulk's part! i wish that Gummy would give him some solace

I want to be able to remember who my friends are.

oof, yeah. this one is really scary to me, too, and i can't think of anyone who it wouldn't be scary to! it sucks

#10: Peeps

and of course, great way to stick the landing with something lighter that is all too #relatable! i am this way with shortbread cookies, there's just something about that combination of savory and sweet

Bulk Biceps in canon is an interesting mix of being both fitness-obsessed gym rat and a timid, anxious, and awkward mess of a pony. there is something charmingly straightforward about how he approaches all of these varyingly universal anxieties, and it is interesting to think that it is a result of him being a sane pony in a world that is very much not. interesting to think that the sight gag background pony would be the most #relatable in the end!

excellent stuff here, thank you for it!

TheOneAJ

TheOneAJ #7 · Aug 30th, 2022 · · ·

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Okie Brony

Okie Brony #8 · January 14th · · ·

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I got the honor of giving this story 👍 #50, which I had to do because Bulk actually likes Peeps. There's not much in this world that I hate more than people who don't like Peeps! Do you also hate puppies and kittens? Does a laughing baby throw you into a homicidal rage? Do you want to make Fluttershy cry!?!?

Thank you for writing a Bulk Biceps story without making him yell "YEAH!!!" or "P is for Ponyville!!"
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_07_2013/post-9228-0-10510200-1374690139.gif
"YEAHHHH!!! 'P' IS FOR PEEPS!!!!!"

I’m gonna be in shape until I’m as old as Granny Smith.

Then I'm gonna pile up on the couch, eat nothing but Peeps, drink nothing but Dr. Pony, and gain a thousand pounds!

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