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Cadance has felt off recently. Restless.

One could say she felt... not herself.


Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest, which you can find here.

First Published
20th Mar 2017
Last Modified
20th Mar 2017
#1 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

So, Sombra never quite left in this one? Or was it some kingdom of like horcrux thing? Maybe a memory or shadow of him?

#2 · 1w, 2d ago · 5 · ·

>>8036741 More like each Emperor/Empress is imbued with a sort of "guiding spirit" which is akin to possession.

#3 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8036744 Ok, makes sense. So the North has a kind of Roman conquer all kind of spirit?

#4 · 1w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

>>8036744

FOR THE EMPRAH

#5 · 1w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

>>8036799 FOHR THE EMPRUSS I think you mean

#6 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

Maaan I was just getting really lost in this world and it ended. Sad. Oh well, either way I thought it was fantastic! That's gonna be an interesting talk.

#7 · 1w, 2d ago · 8 · ·

This needs to be expanded upon. It is a story that has much, much more to give. I request you take this under advisement.

#8 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

Interesting. VERY interesting. As a matter of fact, if this were expanded upon, it would be quite the adventure. Some comedic, some not so much. Each previous 'ruler/emperor/empress' of the Crystal Empire has their turn. And only by 'defeating' or gaining their blessings will Cadance be allowed to rule as herself.... And no longer will she be plagued by them, and instead, true good facsimile's remain of their previous self. The darkness of Sombra's heart having perverted their original virtues and thoughts.

The first, Emperor Fortis Pugnus, a strong leader, physical and magical and led his people through sheer strength and force of will, his people believing him to be akin to a god. Virtue, perverted to being nothing more than above all of those under his station. Now being free, the truth is revealed. He was but a pony, who was determined, had a larger than normal body, and was thrust into his position. Keeping up a facade so his 'people' would believe in him.

Dang, there's a lot that can be done here. Alas, I cannot right, nor do I try.

#9 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

What did you mean about the first step having to be done at the Heart, and next, Luna and Twilight?

#10 · 1w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>8036799 the EMPRAH PROTECTS

#11 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

This feels like there should be a second chapter. As is I got the feeling that  Cadance was disconnected from reality; floaty, almost like everything was a dream. All told, I really like this piece. I can see someone in the future trying to continue this story.

#12 · 1w, 1d ago · 15 · ·

You have nothing to apologize for. This concept is as fascinating as it is haunting, with love and legacy battling for the body of the Empress. The gradual buildup and climactic release of the tension was excellently executed. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.

#13 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

This is phenomenal. The descriptions of her sleepless state and conflicting mind are eerie and haunting as well as how her daily life was changed. The mysterious build up was really well executed too!:twilightsmile:

#14 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Interesting, chilling character piece, but it really does leave off in the middle. It's not resolved but it's not a Bad End yet either. How this may affect Cadance's relationship with Shining alone, to say nothing of how the other Princesses will react, and whether things may yet get worse...

#15 · 1w, 1d ago · 5 · ·

Disagreed with those who think this is incomplete. There is establishment, building action, crisis, and denouement. Yes, the story could be continued, but it stands alone, as is, very well indeed. Kudos.

#16 · 1w, 1d ago · 5 · ·

>>8037852

Quite.  There is a complete story arc for the internal conflict, once Cady opens up to Shiny.  The external conflict is left looming, but as the story stands, the external conflict existed to drive the internal conflict, and isn't relevant to the story beyond that.  It's a fine way to create a short story.

#17 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm not a fan of open endings like this. It's not good storytelling. However, in this case, it is good art.

#18 · 1w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

I was expecting it to be Chyrsalis-related at first, but this is much more fascinating.  I was half-wondering how dark things would go (like if Cadance would come back to herself to find a pile of ash where Shining Armor used to be), and would prefer to see more, but its complete enough as is (and the next step is obvious and was already stated, don't really need more detail than that).

#19 · 1w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Oh, the Heart's corrupted?

*smashes it*  There we go.

I don't waste time purifying the defiled.  That which is impure must be CLEANSED!  :pinkiecrazy:

#20 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Ooooh, this was neat as hell!

#21 · 1w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

>>8039430 purge the heretic

Suffer not the xenos or something

#22 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

>>8037852 I think for me it's not so much that it feels like it's incomplete as that it feels like there could be more and I'd love for there to be more, because what there is is very good.

(Realized just now I hadn't added this to my favorites.  Oops!  Had to fix that.)

#23 · 1w, 19h ago · · ·

What the H*** JUST HAPPENED!?

#24 · 1w, 18h ago · · ·

Awesome sanity slippage portrait, involving two wonderful "I can't believe they're woobies [but they totally are]" :yay:  please write more!

#25 · 1w, 13h ago · · ·

Excellent execution, sir.

#26 · 1w, 13h ago · · ·

The Land is the Ruler, and the Ruler becomes the Land.

Even if the Ruler wasn't part of the Land to begin with.

#27 · 1w, 8h ago · 1 · ·

has that shield harness for a reason to, damn him.”

*too

Wow, this story is shaping up really well. I notice that you left on what might be the end of a chapter, but the story is "complete". I hope you decide to continue it.

#28 · 1w, 5h ago · 1 · 5 ·

>>8039559 EXTERMINATE!!  Daleks are victorious!  Daleks are supreme!  

Also... Cadance is infected... I propose dissection!  *vivisects her for SCIENCE!!*  She's made of blood and fluff!   Who knew?  :pinkiecrazy:

#29 · 6d, 14h ago · · ·

Fun fact: the gladiatoria is actually several manuscripts, also the Ms KK5013 (earliest one of the bunch) is where the (to those familiar with HEMA) meme of "End him rightly" by unscrewing your swords pommel and throwing it at them comes from.

On one hand, it was fun.

I always like the use of hoof better but thats up to the author.

#30 · 6d, 2h ago · · ·

>>8039430 I hope you have evacuation plans for the city.  

#31 · 5d, 7h ago · · ·

>>8045026 I'll drive away the storms with the secret Republican weather control station in Alaska... WHICH I INVENTED!!  MUWAH HA HA HA!!

*Alondro IS the vast Right Wing Conspiracy!*  :pinkiegasp:

#32 · 5d, 7h ago · · ·

>>8046846 Great, now you've brought pͧ̅ͩ̋ͯ͊̈́o̭̱̱̅ͭ̋ͨ̏ͬ͂l̯̗̻̣̰̄́̌i̡̓̔ͩ̆̊̎̚t͌̾ͫ̐i̱̦͓̬̱̱̯̓ć͌̐͋ͯ̅̉s̢͉̻  into the mix.

#33 · 5d, 2h ago · · ·

[SCREECHES] CLIFFHANGERS.

#34 · 4d, 8h ago · · ·

>>8046862 Poly Ticks = Many bloodsucking creatures

#35 · 3d, 22h ago · · ·

*general clap-itude*

#36 · 2d, 2h ago · · ·

I like how it's more psychological than anything else. It made me think and piece it together. Well done

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