• Member Since 17th Mar, 2018
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Freglz


Walk, don't run. Unless you're late for the bus.

E
Source

This story is a sequel to Nothing Left to Lose


An ancient enemy seeks redemption.

Or so she claims.

Flurry Heart is willing to give her a chance.


Written for the My Little Pony Renaissance Contest.
Edited by Pascoite.
Original art by Joelle the Nose.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 40 )

I'm very curious to see where this goes, you're handling the character drama expertly.

Still, I can't help but think it's the serious version of this: 😅

“Would you like to know more?”

Cue Starship Troopers Theme.

. . . . That was Gooooood. That was seriously good. I can't wait to see what comes next from this!

I love the duo Flurry Heart and Chrysalis. their interaction is interesting to observe. It is a pity that there are very few stories with this duo in the lead role.

I wonder. Did Chrysalis grin because she had planned her apparent defeat or because that information about Thorax started her on scheming another revenge plot?

10923266
I'll leave that to the readers' interpretation.

please,PLEASE make a sequel I want to see how the rest of chrysalis’s story plays out

All the cleverness of scheming villains would be utterly undone with the proper application of explosions.

This is why Deadpool is best.

Villain, "Blah blah! If you kill me, you are just like me! You can't kill me because the kiddies will be shock-" *BLAM!!*

Deadpool, "Sorry! Couldn't hear your BS over the sound of my gun!"

:pinkiecrazy:

“So I must wonder… how am I so different from those who were my enemies?”

Ears standing tall as she blinked with widening eyes, Flurry stared back at Chrysalis in a tangible mixture of confusion and shock. It tasted sour. Unpleasant.

"Uhm, you kinda openly invaded a country that LITERALLY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXISTED, and attempted to enslave the entire population to be livestock... and then when you got beaten by a LITERAL DEUS EX ASSPULL MIRACLE, you invaded AGAIN!! And were actually beaten by YOUR OWN KIND who were clearly realizing YOU'RE A BLITHERING IDIOT OF A LEADER who never even considered that LOVE CAN BE A SOURCE OF PERPETUAL ENERGY for your species, because you are a MORON!!"

Chrysalis, "Well, when you put it that way, I do seem kinda brain dead..."

:trollestia:

Ok, I'm confused in part over who said what and how exactly to interpret it. Would appreciate some guidance here.

Chrysalis laughed and took a step closer, only to feel iron dig into her carapace as the guards yanked on her short leash. Nonetheless, she rolled her eyes and blithely shook her head. “Oh, Mi Amore Cadenza, my dear, sweet Cadance, I would never lie to you. What good would it do? The last thing I’d want is to sour your judgement of me. Unless of course you don’t believe in second chances.”

^^ obviously Chrissy

vv obviously Cadance

“I believe you lost my respect long ago, and you’ve had more than enough chances since then.”

There was another pause, and the queen’s smile withered itself down into a quiet, shrewd smirk; every code had its pattern, every defence had its flaw, no matter how polished and refined. “Once a villain, always a villain.”

^^ New paragraph, so this should be Chrissy...

vv ...and this being Cadance

“If that is how you wish to see it.”

But that just doesn't make sense to me. Am I reading it wrong?

Shining Armor glanced at his wife, too quick to catch the emotion behind it, but the action itself reeked of a fascinating cocktail. Shock, confusion, a dash of outrage and a pinch of anger – Chrysalis could smell and practically taste it all, even with the ring around her horn. For as much as he loved her, he evidently agreed more with his sister than his wife.

I'm assuming that Shining is reacting amount of venom coming from Cadance here. And that the "cocktail" Chrissy is describing is coming from him and describing his feelings about how Cadance is acting right now.

Thanks for any clarifications.

At this point, I'm voting that Chrissy is planning on turning Flurry against her family. Maybe not "in arms" against, but to at least drive them apart; to have Cadance lose her offspring similarly to how Chrissy lost her: have them drift away from their "true selves" and from her mother.

Have to wait and see if I'm right.

It was a wretched sight, but the queen pressed on. “I can show these things to you,” she insisted, lowering her voice to almost a whisper’s pitch. “I can show you what they’re afraid to acknowledge. We can discover the answers, unshackled by their ideals, to make the world a better place. For everyone. And they would thank you for it.”

Flurry’s eyes briefly narrowed in a pained look, and then widened even further. “You want me to run away with you?”

“A young mare like you should discover yourself on your own terms. You can’t do that here, studying transcripts your parents hope you’ll reenact someday, where they’ll criticise you for every—”

And there it is. The wind up and the pitch...

Stop!” she screamed, so loud and distressed that it struck Chrysalis like a hoof to the abdomen. And then with stiff, shivering movements the filly curled into herself at the foot of the fountain. “No, I… I won’t…”

Chrysalis didn’t know what to do, much less what to say. For the first time in many years, she found herself completely stunned. And… distraught. Her mind cursed a lack of tact – signs she should’ve seen and compensated for – while her forelegs begged to grasp something and hold it close. Her body was uncomfortably rigid, and her hearts sank to a depth she’d never felt before.

...and it's a foul ball right back into her own face at full speed.

“Because…” she began, then paused as she gulped, a terrible thought crossing her mind as her gaze fell to a shard that was particularly close. And although it sickened her to think about it, she knew there was only one chance left – one desperate bid to enact what she came here to do.

...oh, don't do it, Chrissy, don't do it.

MY CHILDREN FOR YOURS!

Oh, you dummy. You did it. You are so getting coal from Santa Hooves this year.

There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do, no order she could give that would help, and the sheer panic that reverberated from her was like ambrosia to Chrysalis, a moment she’d waited years for.

This is why nopony invites you to parties anymore.

“But I know you do.” Slowly and tentatively, Flurry crawled out from her grasp, then sat on the floor in front of her. “I know you don’t want to do this. I know you don’t want to lose me, Chryssy.” She raised a hoof and gently lowered the queen’s own. “And I… I don’t want to lose you either.”

That kid is something else. A living embodiment of Twilight's teachings and a student of her own mother's domain.

“Then why haven’t you done it already?” Flurry shivered and forced herself to be brave. “You know I’ll never stop trying to escape. That’s why I had to go with you willingly. And if this is your fallback plan, if you wanted to go through with it… you wouldn’t be holding me hostage. You wouldn’t be talking so much. You wouldn’t… care.”

You got old, Chrissy. You got soft. Soon you'll look like a rainbow colored elk-bug-thing just like the rest of them.

I'm really not sure how I feel about that ending.

One the one hoof, Cadance and Chrissy appear to have found a bit of common ground. On the other hoof, I think Chrissy did (more or less) exactly what Cadance and Shining expected her to do, so that cell is definitely gonna be her new home. There's there's the third hoof, Flurry was very welcoming of Chrissy, more than any sane individual should have been in the first place; but on the last hoof, she was raised by Mama Love and Aunty Friendship (along with too many other aunts to count) who colored her world to be that open in the first place.

And let's just add the fact that Chrissy is happy that the rainbow buggy bunch doesn't know about her current predicament; but we all know eventually they will, so, then what? Is she happy they will eventually know? That they don't know yet? That they will be shocked what happened when they find out? Or does she have some evil plan to weave before they do find out.

I'm really not sure if I wont to yell at Cadance for being a nasty nag (with good reason) or if I want to congratulate Chrissy for growing as an individual (which I'm still not sure she's actually done, tbh. She's a really good liar and even lies to her self rather well.)

Overall, this was a really well written piece and I enjoyed reading it.

I still wanna smack a few characters tho.

Really great, very well written. You really managed to write a Chrysalis in away that stays true to her character.

“You can’t do that, Mom,” she declared, putting herself between Cadance and Chrysalis, though while her tone was defiant her expression was anxious – brows upturned and ears lowered. “That’s not how we’re supposed to treat people like her.”

Bruh, was she up there the whole entire time?

The queen thought about smiling one last time, but settled for a truthful glower instead. “All in due time, child, I assure you.”

Man, I love their back and forth banter, but when she went on about how her family had abandoned her after all she did for them... Crhysalis really has undergone a lot of harship for her kin, and all for nothing in the end.

That ending... on one hand, I'm shocked, and sad, that things wouldn't change for her. On the other, your writing that lead to this end, only to be presented with a moment that was maybe expectable, but wished wasn't true, was just impacting.

Now I interrupt this fan fiction to bring you a special message from the Princess of Friendship's voice actress herself!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzqmvInMsVU

“Would you like to know more?”

Hmm... Can't tell if good or bad.

Who was she to rip another child away from her?

Ooooh, Chrysalis has developed some fondness for Flurry.

10924527
Yes, you got the order right, and interpreted Shining's reaction correctly.
Dialogue in third person between two actors of the same sex is a pet peeve of mine, but I wanted to keep Chrys's intentions here not as obvious as they could be to the reader, which is why we aren't directly "in her head" as first person.

10925242
That's the essence and appeal of tragedy, in the literal sense: despite knowing how it ends, we wish it can be avoided.

To be clear, this isn't strictly a tragedy, because it ends with the betterment (or the promise of betterment) of its central character rather than her total downfall, but I never intended to surprise the audience. If you saw where this was going, predicted how it would end, and still wanted to read, then my job is done.

10925734

She is first and foremost, a mother. Having lost her thirteen thousand, eight hundred and twelve children to ponies, is it any surprise that she might seek a surogate from among them?

I find this conclusion...unsatisfying.

This was a drama between Chrysalis and Flurry Heart. The last few paragraphs of the story focusing on the other changelings feels like bait and switch. Like flirting with one girl for all of New Year's Eve, and then kissing another at midnight. As a reader, I didn't care about the other changelings. They're not even in the story. I wanted to see resolution between Chrysalis and Flurry. But this ending gives no resolution at all. It might almost have been better to have ended with the previous chapter, showing their embace and having Chrysalis die having been unable to follow through with her threat. At least then we'd know what was and wasn't genuine.

There are many ways this might have ended. The ending I expected was for her to succesfully depart with Flurry Heart, whether through guile or persuasion, but then willingly release her with the realization that it held no future for her. No future for Flurry Heart, with Chrysalis choosing to let her go. Being first and foremost a mother she would want what is best for her child, surogate though she be.

Ending this with Flurry and Chrysalis separated seems like the least suitable outcome. This isn't a redemption fic. And its not a villain fic. It's about a mother's love. This story should have ended with these two having an unbreakable bond, unintended by either of them and understood by nopony else, but undeniably real. Instead, you have Flurry "see the truth" in the previous chapter, then seperate them in the next, with Cadence stating that Flurry isn't ready, and then Chrysalis target-switches to the changelings instead.

It is unsatisfying.

“You know, for the Princess of Love, I haven’t seen much of it from you.”

“What’s there to love in you?”

The queen scowled. “Something Flurry sees that you don’t,” she rumbled,

got the bitch

Flurry blinked and arched her brow, and a genuine sense of curiosity radiated from her. “The Game?”

derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/9/23/1839837.png

10925229
The worst part is that they abandoned her at a high point. They had won. They were victorious and suddenly, on the whim of a traitor, they betrayed their mother, their queen, and all that they stand for to become some abomination that has none of the protections it was known for and all the weaknesses. It is also unclear if anymore can be produced without a queen. It is entirely possible that all of the changed lings are doomed to extinction.

10925720
That's the beauty of it. Chrysalis is not doing anything bad on the contrary she is teaching Flurry valuable lessons about life, actions and consequences. Little by little she will strip Flurry of the rose colored glasses that Celestia bestowed upon the ponies and and destroy her black and white notion of good and evil. This will obviously create conflict with the rest of the royals however I think that teaching Flurrt may become the true victory in this particular game.

10924557
Agreed

10927525
Thirteen thousand eight hundred and twenty-two. Don't forget to count Kevin and Thorax himself

Great story, wonderful ending :)

Nope.
In the last episode, there were young changelings.

Twilight has a clear opinion about the "forcing love" thing:

“So it is.” Flicking the main lights back off and switching the bedside lamp on, Chrysalis strolled forwards and sat on her haunches.

I see Chryssy already got her magic back.
Does Cadance know?

“I can show these things to you,” she insisted, lowering her voice to almost a whisper’s pitch. “I can show you what they’re afraid to acknowledge. We can discover the answers, unshackled by their ideals, to make the world a better place. For everyone. And they would thank you for it.”

Somehow I imagine her to talk with the voice of Emperor Palpatine right now.

Chrysalis silently prayed that it wouldn’t change anything. “An eye for an eye,” she dejectedly mumbled, leaning forward with a ragged sigh, only to reach across for the shard and lunge at the filly, then press the jagged tip against her throat as she glowered venomously at the approaching princess. “MY CHILDREN FOR YOURS!

Technically they didn't kill your Children, Chrysalis. They merely corrupted them.
If you want equal revenge you should have corrupted Flurry in return, turning her against her mother.
That would have a much greater effect.

11201862
Yes, that was her initial plan, as you should've understood before this point, and something she explains a few paragraphs later.

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