• Member Since 17th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Freglz


Walk, don't run. Unless you're late for the bus.

E

This story is a sequel to To Have and To Hold


It ain't always easy, regaining what you lost.

Especially when you've been missing it for years.


Written for Appledash Contest #6 - "Go Big or Go Home".
Inspired by the original art by Heir-of-Rick.
Edited by AstralMouse, SaddlesoapOpera and Snowybee.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 48 )

MMMMMMN YES THIS SOME GOOD SHIT IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF, AND I SAY SO!

:yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

This.

I like this.

I'll be following this very closely.

THERE IS ANOTHER!

WE MAY YET HAVE ENOUGH APPLEDASH CONTESTORS TO EACH WIN A PRIZE!

Snu believes in the you that believes in Snu!

I better find a tiny fan to tape to my chest, because I suspect this will be exceedingly heartwarming. Well, eventually. I see you, sad tag.

This is interesting... I shall follow this...

Welp, the drama bomb just detonated :applejackunsure:

Freglz you might want to make a blog post about the update because this chapter didn't show up in my tracking feed. It probably didn't show up in anyone else's either because there should be more comments by now.

I can understand where AJ is coming from. But at the same time it was harsh to say all that.

as a romantic myself, I feel like there has to be something that connects you — why you two and not, say… Rainbow and Twilight. Not that I mean to imply anything.

"I definitely didn't lose a bet or anything. Definitely not to Fluttershy's mother."

“Two hundred and fifty-six,” I reply, squinting up at the ceiling for a moment in thought. “That’s how many there are, I think. With a couple dozen on the way, of course.”

There's actually several dozen more already, but Applejack only has an 8-bit processor.

Hoo boy. There's drama old and new here, and we may need to dig into the former to resolve the latter. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

I will differently be following this story!!

Everything was going so well!!!!! AGH THE TENSION AND DRAMA!!! :fluttercry:

Oof... Harsh... Hopefully she sees things in a different light later on.

Huh, I feel like she snapped a bit quickly, but I'll just hang on and see what the rest of the story has.

Hm. I didn't get an alert for this chapter for some reason; I'm glad I happened to scroll down in my library!
10056674
Ah, good idea about a blog post!

Anyway, I enjoyed the chapter. :) Not going quite as well for the characters around the end, of course, but, well, sounds like Applejack has some things to get through...

JK

I didn't get an alert for chapter 2, only chapter 3, so I accidentally read chapter 1 a few days back and now chapter 3... 😐

But y'know what... it actually still works if you read it like that!
While it feels like a small time skip, there's still JUST enough exposition from chapter 2 to make it seem intentional.
Bravo sir! I don't know if that's great writing or just blind luck, but there you have it!

I'm going to read chapter 2 now, but great story so far. Very believable characterization for a relationship between RD and AJ.
Keep up the great work!

I figured it was something along those lines. That or disapproving parents cutting off the newlyweds from both of their families. It certainly puts the parents' actions into perspective. And Applejack's emotional journey through the chapter was excellently written. Looking forward to more.

Glad to see that they made up. I didn't want to see AJ being sad. She is one of my faves

What does Applejack think of Big Mac's wife? She's her sister-in-law after all

10057465
Honestly, it strikes me as kind of reasonable if Applejack feels like Rainbow's parents are trying to legally muscle their way into replacing her own parents in a manner that would cast their memories aside.

Mmm, this is great.

Rainbow's parents demonstrate that kindness is not always kindness.

In trying to insert themselves into AJ's lives, they've reopened old wounds.

It is super weird for me to see Applejack dialogue with the British spelling of "Centre".

Is that the end? Because it still says incomplete, but it feels complete.

That escalated quickly.

Family is who you choose, not just who you’re related to.

That's a really good ending. Can I quote you in my bio for this line? That is something I believe everyone should take to heart.

A most heartfelt and well told story! I could really feel AJ's pain, her relief at coming to grips with the tragedy of her parents passing and her joy in finding love and life afterward.
Nicely done!

Wonderful expansion of what was already a heart-rending bit of art. Thank you for this.

10058273

Similarly, I got jumped from chapter 2 to chapter 4. That was not the kind of jump I could possibly gloss over, so I stepped back.

Fimfiction is definitely weird about notifications when you have more than one chapter unpublished.

A nice setup, I'm quite curious about those troublesome hints that things aren't going to go all that well (and really, where's the fun if it's all smooth sailing?).
While not my usual ship, AJ and Dash are very cute here, and very loving!

10059900
I really don't see why not!

Very nice. :)

That is completely way too much of a snap. You immediately went way overboard with it, I could only read so much before I was out.

Really? This is the conflict you have? That Applejack is defensive of potentially having new parents? The mare who treats literally all her friends like family, preaches family and dedicates herself to a huge extended family can't handle in laws?

Honestly with how it was going I was hoping that your hints were that Windy and Hot somehow already lost THEIR parents when they were young. That was why they were choked up, they realized that they now have a whole new family to be part of, a huge new one. Applejack is now THEIR daughter, GSmith is now THEIR new Mom (in law but you know they wouldn't care), and that the Apple Family is accepting them as family. That can be very daunting, especially with how Dashie and AJ dropped the marriage announcement. The story would be how both families mix and accept a common loss, using that to grow their love.

Nope, Applejack reacts terribly and goes from 0-1000 real quick.

I don't get it, I don't see it, and honestly I don't want to read the rest. I already know the rest.

There are moment of romantic comedy films that I really hate. It's when a fully grown adult in a normal situation takes the absolute 100% worst option, embarrasses themselves completely, blows up like a child, and leaves. It's cliche, annoying, lazy and boring. It's been done so many times that between "YOU AREN'T MY REAL DAD" and "IM LEAVING WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, CLEARLY HURTING EVERYONE I LOVE LIKE A SHITTY PERSON WHO IS CLEARLY OVERREACTING" I honestly was just skimming hoping Applejack wouldn't just fucking leave like an idiot, but then again she launched off like an idiot.

It honestly would have been better to make them racist. At least that is more believable when they inevitably come to the "oh you make her happy" club and the story ends.

Here I'll end your story for you.

"Hey we're your new parents now!"
"Hi I don't want to burst your enthusiasm but it's going to take me a very long time to call you that."
"Why not if you don't mind me asking?"
"My parents aren't here anymore. It isn't a secret and even though it's been over a decade I don't think I can ever feel comfortable calling you Mom or Dad directly."
"Oh that's perfectly fine sweetie, we are just super excited. We've only had one daughter and when you two get married we will have two more! Just know that I will always be here for you like my dear Dashie!"

Done.

10061050

Really? This is the conflict you have? That Applejack is defensive of potentially having new parents? The mare who treats literally all her friends like family, preaches family and dedicates herself to a huge extended family can't handle in laws?

Extended family is different from someone trying to force their way into a role you don't feel comfortable with them having. I don't think it's hard to believe that AJ's reaction to Windy saying "And then you’ll have to call me Mom" is negative just because she's all about family. It's not the same thing.

It honestly would have been better to make them racist. At least that is more believable when they inevitably come to the "oh you make her happy" club and the story ends.

This is, frankly, kind of stupid. I think you're disappointed and used that to fuel this claim, because racist parents would have made no sense for the premises this story was based on. It's not about them joining a "you make her happy" club. I mean, you admitted yourself that you didn't read it, so why would you assume that plays a big role? Everyone knows that Rainbow and AJ are good for each other throughout the story. Also, them being racist would have been pointless for telling the story that was told. Your comment here reads similarly to saying "There should be Stormtroopers shooting at them so that it has more action." And it's honestly just kind of shitposty and needless.

"Hey we're your new parents now!"
"Hi I don't want to burst your enthusiasm but it's going to take me a very long time to call you that."
"Why not if you don't mind me asking?"

They are overly enthusiastic to a fault here. So no, Windy is not calmly asking why. She's insisting despite AJ's discomfort. I get that you're upset and being sarcastic, but writing a poorly characterized ending does you no favors when your complaint is about poor characterization.

And on that note, yes, I felt like AJ overreacted. Maybe it could use more buildup to justify it. I don't think it's nearly as egregious as you seem to, though, and I still liked the story for what it was.

10061226 The problem is Applejack's reaction, which we both have agreed is bad. However I completely disagree with you on AJ. AJ's reaction is very over the top, poorly written and shouldn't have been a plot point in the first place.

I am saying it completely ruined the story for me. I'm not sad, I'm disappointed.

Of course the racism part would have been from the beginning of the story. Come on man, context clues. Of course you wouldn't write them like you would this whole story, the characterization would be horrible like having none of your characters act like reasonable characters.

Of course my ending is written terribly, because this situation is. The only reason why this is because the author needed to have the plot move forward. That's the problem. There is no reason for the last part of this chapter to happen.

Don't comment "well of course it moves the plot along" when there could be MANY well-written and real alternatives. My belief of what the story led up to, that being Windy/Hot parents dead and being inserted into the dynamic, would have been WAY better than this. Less cliche than this, less boring than this, and is already set up.

I also read Freglz work a ton. I know they are better than this. It's lazy writing to push a story like this when there are many ways to go forward. This is the point where it killed it for me and unlike 99.9% of this site, I comment why I leave dislikes.

You may disagree, cool. Story stops here for me. It's done and I disliked it.

10061245

Of course the racism part would have been from the beginning of the story. Come on man, context clues.

I am legit confused about why you said this. Like, the thing you are proposing doesn't tell the same story with a different dynamic. It tells a different story. So, the suggestion is even more pointless than the Stormtroopers shooting at them one, because at least that could still tell the same story. The story was built on several premises where racist parents had nothing to do with it, and it'd serve no purpose for the plot. Like I said, I think you're just letting your emotions speak for you and you made a dumb suggestion just to be snarky. That's all. There's no need to defend it as a legitimate suggestion when it never was.

You may disagree, cool. Story stops here for me. It's done and I disliked it.

I mean, you don't have to like it, but it feels unfair to claim you know what happens next and then proceed to make incorrect assumptions about the direction the story took. Like, at least stick to what you actually did read for your criticism. Which you mostly did, but the exceptions stick out to me as salty screeching at problems that don't exist in this particular story.

10058817
Your- y-y-your profile pic. YOUR FRICKIN' PROFILE PIC.

AAAaaaaa. Freglz pls. The tension, the drama, the shipping. Aj's response was a bit jarring personally, but overall its a nice piece. Love a nice bit of Appledash. Gotta make sure the ship sails.

10063093
The Wingpon holding a quill supports the beetus that is this story.

This was so sweet. Good job.

That was absolutely gorgeous, you've done amazing, beautiful work here and I'm not ashamed of the tears in my eyes. Thank you, thank you for writing such a marvellous tale

I was enjoying the thoughtful descriptions and characterizations, and I liked the concept of a longer-lasting cloud walking spell bound by love.

However, the drama at the end of the chapter felt forced to me. It reminded me of the scene in "Parental Glideance" where Dash yells at her parents to leave and reduces them to tears, which is not a good thing. I think the line that went too far was:

You ain’t my parents and you never will be, and if you can’t get that through them featherbrained heads of yours, then you can consider yourselves uninvited to the weddin’, and good riddance!”

Now, I can understand why Applejack would think that Dash's parents were trying to replace hers. I can understand why she would be unnerved by the suggestion. But there's no reason to jump straight to insults after they had been so pleasant. And she has no right to uninvite Dash's parents to their wedding.

10117570
I'll admit, I did this in a bit of a rush, mostly to get it and a second entry into the contest out of the way before school started again.

In retrospect, I think a better way of doing the conflict would be by having AJ have something of a panic attack or nervous breakdown, confused about how to react to this and Windy's insistence (and Bow's, to a lesser degree). In fact, that was the original intent, but by the time I realised where my writing was taking me (read: what you see there), I decided I'd written too much already to backtrack. I pressed on instead, and while I'm not as happy with the final product as I might've been, I honestly don't know how I'd have handled the other approach, much less how to properly justify it.

Long story short, I didn't have, or give myself the time to treat the situation with the proper amout of delicacy. If it's any consolation, I think my second entry is a much better story, wholistically.

10118052
That's fair. I had to rush a bit to meet the contest deadline too.

Login or register to comment