"When the buckled girder lets down the grinding span, the blame of loss, or murder, is laid upon the man." - Julia Ecklar & Leslie Fish
Zipp is something of an adventurer. She likes exploring old abandoned things. Buildings, caves, the usual.
One night, she finds a hole leading into a very old mine. The first thing she spots is an old journal. Tattered, worn, and broken.
She decides to read it.
For some reason featured on 6/10/2022. What a way to kick off the Summer, am I right?
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A tight little bit of darker lore. I only wish it took longer to get there, with more lengthy journal entries at first and getting shorter as the situation becomes more dire.
11267548
Hmmm... Yeah. A longer buildup would have been beneficial. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.
Stupid fucking wendigoes.
Weird and spooky—as a proper horror story should be. Good plot for such a tiny story.
Only real complaint I have is that the following lines were unnecessary and, in fact, somewhat undermined the rest of the chapter and reveal of the monster by telling, not showing:
"How was Lotus getting stronger? How could she no longer feel pain after eating Aloe's body?"
These questions asked of the reader were unnecessary because the reveal of the monster immediately after answers them.
I liked this story. Good job!
Until Dawn. Fucking LOVED that game.
11267575
SAME! Have fun giving it a rewatch!
Dang, this is a good read. Managed to pack a good amount of horror into such a small setup. It’s good!!
11267602
YES! I did good! Thanks!
The pacing is way too fast in my opinion. I love the idea though, horror set underground is always a treat
As others have said very good short story though wished it would have been longer other wise very good horror fic especially for gen 5
Also so that what happens to pony’s if they ate another pony
Is it based on the legend of the wendigo?
I could tell it was a wendigo story from the
beginningtitle👍11267772
Mayyyybe.
11267758
Someone should feed her a Snickers.
..... that hole better be taller than the thing that used to be Lotus can at least reasonably climb.
11268318
...The thing jumped out of the hole as a last futile effort to catch Zipp? Even if the hole was as tall as a skyscraper it could still climb. The thing Lotus is based on can climb practically anything. Especially a rocky surface.
11268355
Point taken...
until dawn, 2015, colorized
How...did you do this??
11311723
This site.