• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 16th, 2022


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.


As a timeless immortal being, I never understood death and loss. I was willing to make friends and play nice, I even fell in love. But then one day I lost the pony I loved most, and sought to escape my grief. It went fine for a time, until somepony restored magic to Equestria.

Hitch was having a pretty normal day, until a strange creature appeared on the road and transformed him into a mare. He kept going on about somepony named Fluttershy, before vanishing and imploding a few buildings. Hitch misses the days before he was a national hero in constant peril.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 118 )

Thanks, I will! I discovered the import from google docs feature and have attained new levels of power! Mostly an ability not to lose paragraphs to copy-paste errors. :twilightsheepish:

You should do more to this like how about the rest of the new mane 5 of the new generation characters start to become the mane 6

Who was your favorite friend and why was it Twilight?

God dammit Sunny. :rainbowlaugh:

“New Fluttershy.” You’re funny.

“Uh, hello there. Can I help you with anything?” Hitch asked.

Kinda odd. The ponies prior to this freaked the heck out about members of the other tribes showing up. While Hitch is a bit better about this and this seems like post movie, I would expect a bit more reaction to something as odd as Discord showing up. It's not even clear if Hitch has ever met another non-Equestrian species, after all.

Overall, an interesting start. Discord is being...Discord. I suspect the time asleep and losing Fluttershy hasn't been well for his mind. I liked how random the initial TF was and that Discord wasn't quite to 100%, either, or that his powers worked as intended.

Oh wow now this is a different turn of events and once again and and I said this so many times about Hitch that he could be a distance related to Fluttershy since he has some abilities that Fluttershy has and apparently Discord can sense it and because of his loneliness he turned it into Fluttershy which that was kinda disturbing but I guess because he's been alone for a long time but still this is not good and now he has to call for help and he asked Sonny to help him alongside with the others and something tells me Discord is going to mess with these kids let's see how this works out

The only problem is there's only five of them

I did start it out as a pure Transformation fic, because I don't think there's many of those still being done. Then it sort of changed, but I do like the idea of all the ponies getting body swapped.

Either we have to skip worst pony, or we throw Sprout in for the 6th member.

I really want to see more of Sunny asking questions, that could be a whole story right there. Maybe she needs to accidentally time travel to gen 4 and be like a 5 year old just constantly bombarding Twilight with questions.

Yeah it's a little ominous how dozens of races on the planet are just completely gone, and there wasn't much variety in wildlife. Movie has a real "Last Ponies on Equus" vibe. I guess it would be more shocking to meet what's practically an alien in a world that doesn't even have cows than I made it seem for Hitch.

Discord being Discord is a lot easier to write than good dialogue. I'll have to work on that and resist the urge to just keep things moving. :scootangel:

Kaidan here speedrunning G5 ficwriting :V

Keep up the good work!

”Did you really have a bunny that started a war?”

Can’t say I’m necessarily surprised that Angel (or his offspring) allegedly started a war.

This story is certainly going to be interesting. I’m a little curious about the ‘sad’ tag, as well.

This got my interest.I hope we get more stories involving Team S.H.I.P.Z and any g4 character.

Caught me! And Thanks. :scootangel: I love speed-writing fics, even if it makes my longer format incomplete stories cry.

Discord continues to share his story which is a bit sad, compared to the present day which is a bit more comedy. Discord is also random. It was kind of hard to figure out the tags on this one. Then I just embraced the utter chaos and stopped worrying. :pinkiecrazy:

I love the name team S.H.I.P.Z., and this story also involves at least one Ship! Well played. I do have a couple ideas for gen4/5 crossovers but I'm like a dog chasing squirrels ever since gen 5 came out.

:moustache: O&O was a pain without anypony ... What's taking Discord so long?

:flutterrage: No no no I got to pee!

:moustache: Fluttershy I thought you died in the war?



Weird, but interesting. I personally do not see Discord acting that way, but there's surely a lot more left to explain.
A little pet peeve of mine : I dislike the commonly used phrase "few octaves higher," usually there's like an octave (octaves are huge!) or even less between the median tone of male and female vocal ranges (unless one compares octavists and other outliers). And there's usually a lot of overlap in the ranges. However, the usual tones that are used to speak are not necessarily the median, so that's a thing that could make up for more than one octave. Now, I know I'm being pedantic, don't fight me pls, you don't need to change anything.


Yeah it's a little ominous how dozens of races on the planet are just completely gone,

I mean, it made enough sense to me: if ponykind couldn't even get along with each other, then what hope did the other sentient species have?

My guess is we'll start seeing more and more of them as the show itself goes on.

Not my usual cup of tea, but I am interested nonetheless.

I'll be honest, it's funnier to imagine Fluttershy with Hitch's voice, but I still love it

“Crap, I better go find Sunny and the others and see if they’ve got any ideas. Maybe we can use the gems to give him a friendship concussion or something before he blows up anymore homes.”

"Friendship Concussion'? Back in the day, it was a Friendship Rainbow Laser Thingy.

And instead of gems it was necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace, big crown thingy.

Indeed. I have to wonder if there will be info on how Twilight ruined everything, how magic went away, and where the three crystals came from.

Discord, the replacement goldfish strategy doesn't work
cuz the replacement dies just as fast, if not faster and then you're hurt all over again

Yes :twilightsheepish:

Also yes.

Why can't carnivals give out pet ponies instead?

I'm not gonna lie, Hitch with Flutters hairstyle actually works really well and I love it.

That's actually kind of true sad but true

Or would she see it as the gift it was, the longevity of a princess to buy her that many more days with me, her lover.

really, dude?

One of the drawers hit a snag, and fell right onto the floor. There was a loud angry buzzing noise, and the wooden container began to crawl across the floor. Hitch picked up the drawer and his eyes went wide in shock.

Ah, classic Discord! Clearly he must of hid himself in the drawer or enchanted it to scare Hitch.
*Keeps on reading*

Changelings in particular would die out very quickly when the magic went away; dragons also raise questions but we're all going to shush them in favor of Spike showing up.

Applejack was also a G1 pony with her exact colors and a G3 pony with different ones, so we can safely assume an actual G5 Applejack will be introduced at some point in the show.

Not necessarily: ponies still gain cutie marks, Izzy's "luminescence" thing might be somewhat magical in nature, and the Crystals likely had some sort of magical mechanism calibrated to detect external "magic of friendship" stimuli. With that in mind, I don't think it's too infeasible that changelings would still be able to share love to some degree.

Dragons are probably fine; if anything, assuming greed growth is magical in nature, they'd probably only be a bit smaller.

(Feel free to correct me if you find my logic faulty.)

Poor hitch this is really not his day but it looks like sunny and the others confronted Discord to change hitch back but unfortunately he refused because he just couldn't let go which I understand his feelings but this is not the way to do this and forcing somebody to change their appearances and look just for your amuse and everything and try to fill that empty hole will not bring back Fluttershy and hopefully he will learn that but it looks like Izzy ask him if he wants to play a game to get to know each four of the ponies and maybe he can be friends hopefully this would help out I guess we'll find out next time

I had gone from trickster to friend to lover

It’s nice to know that Discord really loves Fluttershy after all she did for him. Fluttercord used to be one of my favorite ships, and my brain on Fallout is so interested to learn more about this backstory on how it got this way even more now.

Also, I think I sense a lesbian Zipp, actually, wait, what would a crush on Hitch-now-Fluttershy be? Regardless of all that, I still love lesbian Zipp.

G5 Applejack will be a direct descendant of G4 Applejack named after her.

“Dash’s understudy, I see. Everypony’s a critic.”

[oof sound effect]
Zipp died
Respawning in 5

One of the drawers hit a snag, and fell right onto the floor. There was a loud angry buzzing noise, and the wooden container began to crawl across the floor. Hitch picked up the drawer and his eyes went wide in shock.

There was something large, black, and shaped like Dahlia’s blue ribbon winning cucumber plant from last year’s Farmer’s Market skittering its way across the floor.

Apparently Sunny likes to have fun when she’s by herself.

"Did you really have a bunny that started a war?”

Yeah, that sounds like Angel all right.

Unless G5 eventually says otherwise (not that I'm expecting it to), my theory is that they're all still out there, they've just likewise gone into seclusion like the pony tribes had and aren't really interacting with others outside of their claimed areas currently.

A generous application of friendship should sort that out in time, if true. :twilightsmile:

“Though, to be fair there were only two people in the class.”

The other must've been Sprout.

...I'm not sure what this says about that class overall, then...

I've had similar thoughts, that magic wasn't so much gone entirely as it was rendered inaccessible for a time to at least the ponies, while it continued operating either normally or on some form of low-power mode operating on automatic for various background things everywhere else.

Could explain how the sun and moon are moving seemingly by themselves now at least (it's either that or they were always capable of falling back into more natural motions on their own without magic, the ponies just became too attached to the convenience of moving them themselves to stop and find out--it actually does make me want to see what would happen if the ponies stopped moving them both manually for longer than a day (say a couple of weeks) to see what happens).

Man, Discord really became a prick.

...Well, he was always a prick, I guess. Still, this is a bit more than anything he... No, no; he's done worse. Huh, this is actually somewhat par-for-the-course for him. Still a prick.

This is really fun so far. I wonder if Sprout will try to seduce Hitch; pathetical.

Of all the ideas I had, I forgot to have Sprout try and seduce Fluttershy, not realizing it is Hitch. I must be slipping. :rainbowlaugh:

Well he is a lot of fun to write as a prick. I think Zipp's chapter is my favorite on a scale of 1 to prick.

well, watching everything and everyone you love wither and die tends to do that to you

This is amazing!! This is the first g5 fic I’ve read and since discord is in it my brain is fighting so hard over how to imagine the scenes in my head lol…should it be in g5 or g4 style?? Ahhhhhh!!

Now we would have to see if Sprout can actually get over his bigotry to actually get over that. I also wonder how Hitch's sheriff instincts and caretaker one will grow in conflict with each other why on duty. And come to Think of it Hitch CAN'T afford to let Sprout get ANY sense of POWER and AUTHORITYT with his oversight. Worst still I would wonder what Discord would do to Sprout if he tried anything with Hitch, probably turn him into a donkey.

Immortality is one of my favorite tropes to explore. So thought I'd hijack your comment about why immortals would be pricks (or in this case revert to chaos) when unsure how to cope with loss.

I think a mortal becoming immortal would have an easier time coping, but suffer more grief and loss overall, since they spend their whole life getting attached to other ponies (I.e. if an alicorn Twilight watched friends die). They always knew loss was inevitable, so perhaps they're more prepared to deal with it.

Then there's immortals that were always immortal like Discord, who didn't even consider there was more to his existence than Chaos until the ponies taught him there was. Then they taught him to get attached. And now Discord's on his own trying to deal with grief and loss, two more concepts he spent millennia unaware even existed. What does that look like? How do you cope with a strong negative emotion that you, a timeless all-powerful being, didn't even know existed?

I think that would be why Discord got so attached to Fluttershy, as a sort of compass to help him navigate this strange world of mortals for which he was unprepared. Learning all these alien concepts took Discord time, and when he didn't know what to do, he could always just ask her.

Overly Sarcastic Productions did a nice video on the Immorality trope. And I don't think I got that deep into it in this story, but it sure is interesting to think about it.

Did you really have a bunny that started a war?”

Damn it Angel... what did you do this time?

Hitch sighed. “I can do this. I graduated top of my class in Sheriff’s academy.” He righted himself and pulled his head up over the edge of the tub to look at the battery operated coltfriend. “Though, to be fair there were only two people in the class.”

Shouldn't it be 'ponies' here?

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