• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 16th, 2022


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.


Izzy has an insatiable craving for pony hooves, and sets her sights on a certain sheriff next. It's sure to be a unicycling that Hitch will never forget.

Created with the help & encouragement of my co-conspirator: milesprower06

Now with an audio book by MysteryFluttershyFan

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 64 )

This was so much fun to plan with you during my... fourth, rewatch of New Generation, and I'm thrilled that you took the idea instead of handing it to me, because I promise you, I wouldn't have been able to make something so good, so fast.

Seriously, folks. I'm looking at chat logs, and these discussions aren't even three hours old as of this writing.

This was a treat to plan and read!

First, i thought that Izzy was going to cut Hitch's hoof off. This story gets added to my favourites to be safe

Thanks, glad you enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

Thanks, you're too kind... now what prompt to do next? :twilightsheepish:

Here we go again...

This is basically the pony equivalent of eating nail clippings. Izzy suffers from pica. This ended a lot more innocently than I expected.

8/10, needs more cupcakes. :pinkiecrazy:
ha, just kidding :rainbowwild:

P.S. How did you make that cover art!? :pinkiegasp:

Wow, you got me good with this one. I was half expecting Cupcakes Reloaded.

Ahh, Cupcakes. Such memories.

Okay maybe not good memories, but memories nonetheless

It's also the regular equivalent of eating glue, and adding a cannibalism component to something that's already weird... not sure if :rainbowderp: or :rainbowlaugh:

It's the photo negative of the screenshot from the movie using a filter. Figured the art would help it have more cupcake vibes.

10996948 10996990
Someone needed to make the first gen 5 cupcakes. but I couldn't bring myself to do it because they're too adorable.

... On my own, down the only road I've ever known! :trollestia:

As good as this story is, the box that Izzy is holding sets off my grammar alarm. It should be 'ground pony hooves', not 'grinded pony hooves'.

Yeah, I can relate to that. The writers also called the plural of pegasus, Pegasuses. Maybe they were going for style points or something. :twilightsheepish:

I think it also makes the rhyme easier.

Oh my word I almost puked, but that was so good haha

He spit out some yellow fibers from the tennis ball. “Izzy! You can’t just kidnap a pony to give them a hooficure!”

True. But she didn’t kidnap you, you went there willingly.

I haven't read this story yet, but judging from the cover and its name, I appreciate the author's attempt at writing a Cupcakes equivalent for Gen 5.

Edit: Well, there was no gore or the like here altought I do think the hoof-trimming part had some fetishistic undertones, but I appreciate the comedic plot-twist. It also seems Hitch still thinks the whole "forbidden word" thing affects the unicorns. Also, the ending implies that he may be gay LOL.

They used "Pegasi" plenty in the film. In fact the only time I remember them using "Pegasuses" was Filly Sunny in the opening. The were clearly going for comedy with the whole "grinded hooves" thing, so they likely intentionally used incorrect grammar to try to make it funnier.

“I…” Hitch gulped. “Magic! Feather! Wing! MAYONNAISE!”

:rainbowlaugh: Can't blame him, but it's cute and kinda silly that he forgot that doesn't work on Izzy.

Also, I hope Izzy cleaned off those hoof clippings before making candy out of them, cause otherwise that's five times more gross than it already was...

As an aside, was she deliberately playing to the slander he brought up in the song to mess with Hitch?

On a related note, I don't see G5's "Cupcakes" happening until at least a couple of episodes into the series. I don't think the movie alone is enough fuel for that kind of fic.

Wait "Grinded Pony Hooves" was actually shown in the movie!? :pinkiegasp:

Yeah during the "Fit Right In" song. It's a gag during Hitch's part of the song. Izzy eats from the box then snags some seconds as Sunny begins her part of the song. It was my favorite visual gag about all the horrors they learned in school about the other races.

I'd imagine Izzy would have to boil hooves to get a good consistency, eliminating the problem with dirt... But maybe she was mind-gaming him like you said, and they weren't hooves but candies after all? That would be pretty diabolical.

It's got a bit of rainbow factory in there too! Nopony was harmed in the fic.

Izzy would have to boil hooves to get a good consistency

I repeat, she's eating glue.

Ooh. Idea for another one of my visual gags from that song.

The one with Izzy behind the curtain with the knife silhouette?

Have Hitch come over for a shower, let's parody Psycho, but at the very end, she just helps him dry his mane

Where is Drecker Jones today, anyway? If he came back and went active again on Deviantart or even on here he'd be pretty much a living legend.

I personally think that what the very existence of a cereal or snack named "Grinded Pony Hooves" implies is enough fuel for something like that. And if we want to go really hardcore, I'd like to see someone try to write a Gen 5 version of Sweet Apple Massacre.

Or maybe not. Scratch that.

I expected something far more sinister that what happened. A pleasant reversal, that's for sure ! :twilightsheepish:

Tho, it could have been at an M rating. Would have helped maintain the uncertainty till the last second.

There's pretty much no point in giving this an M rating tought. There's literally no gore in it.

spits coffee

Holy shit dude, you wrote A Puppet To Her Fame?!?! That's one of the greatest grimdark stories on this fanbase, right up there with Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory!

“Better not laugh too much when I’ve got the blade out, though it does make your sparkle turn the most adorable shade of pink.”

Hm, pink luminescence while laughing... I wonder why. :pinkiehappy:

Gotta admit that was funny. Izzy definitely seems the type that would pull this kind of stunt.

And actually, if you look at the snack box carefully, it says '100% whole grain' in the bottom right. :rainbowlaugh:
(There's something else across from it but I couldn't read it clearly)

This was a good fic. Props, because this one stands out to me.

You are a monster.

Yeah I debated how to tag it to set up the reversal, but didn't want to scare off people that would enjoy something silly

Oh I'll have to zoom in later, I missed that detail about the whole grain. I wonder if it's fortified with vitamins, and how much added sugar is in it.

Yep, thanks. :twilightsmile:

I was thinking of doing another Lovecraftian horror grimdark, but it feels like it'd be hard to live up to Puppet to her Fame. I bought a print at a con that eventually became the cover, and was obsessed for months with getting that story perfect.

I get ya. I might not have read this story either with a M tag (and I would have lost something had I not). Still a really got read, with a reminicent , vivid imagery.

Honestly I'm glad you didn't. I don't particularly care for *that* corner of the fandom.

Comment posted by kingofharmony deleted Sep 30th, 2021

What can I say? I admire how the original author was so goddamn talented in describing disgusting and inhumane actions. He's probably the lyricist of some death metal band today - he definitely had the potential. I wonder if any authors active on this website today could successfully replicate the utter shock factor present in Sweet Apple Massacre.

Damn you for complimenting that. It was terrible and requires mental fortification to endure.

In my opinion, the scenes where Octavia was tortured by her parents were a bit excessive (wich particularly triggered darkness-induced apathy in me), and I started questioning Octavia's intelligence when she still came back to her mother and father's house even tought she knew how abusive they were to her, but otherwise it's great.

You probably wouldn't enjoy Cannibal Corpse's early work, then.

If it's as bad as the aforementioned fic, probably not.

Trust me, you don't want to search for their first four albums. Back then, they were pretty much out there to piss off as much suburban soccer moms as possible - by writing lyrics that make Cupcakes look like a Dr. Seuss's book in comparison.


It says "Source of vitamins and fibre !!!"

Ponies are British confirmed?

Lmao grinded pony hooves is a ripoff of yoshikage kira and the jojo gang from part 5 lmao lmao

Looks like Cupcakes has evolved.

You realize Aurora Dawn's definitely gonna see this parody now that hes back right?

It'd be neat to see what AuroraDawn thought. :twilightsheepish:

I could never resist making references to other stories.

Izzy invites Dash over to play hoofcakes... :trollestia:

Came in expecting something much worse! Though I have to say, I empathize with Hitch so much here. I just can't hold still! It's a weak spot!

Yeah it certainly took some interesting twists and turns. :rainbowlaugh:

Bing bong!
Loved this!

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