I first noticed the change in Fluttershy when Dash passed away.
The mare had been beloved by her friends, even if she had a grating and abrasive personality I’d never quite gotten past. Right up until she got married, at least, and gained the good sense not to pass such personality quirks down to her descendents.
But, legacy of a famous wonderbolt aside, I’m here to reminisce about Fluttershy.
We’d built a life together over time, a fairly odd couple, but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. I knew that it would be hard for her to outlive her friends, losing them one at a time. Perhaps that was why I’d worked my magic so subtly to prolong her life at first. Would she hold it against me if she knew I was afraid of losing her? Or would she see it as the gift it was, the longevity of a princess to buy her that many more days with me, her lover. She’d have friends too, the important ones anyway: Spike, Twilight, Cadence, Flurry, Celestia, Luna. It wasn’t like she’d have to watch them die anytime soon.
Dash though... I hadn’t expected it to hit her so hard. While the mare’s children and grandchildren tried to do what Dash would have done and been stoic, Fluttershy had spent the better part of a week crying and sick in bed.
Perhaps it is because I can not die that I found it so hard to relate. If she’d wanted to see Celestia tumble down a staircase full of marbles, or Twilight’s head rotate like an owl until she threw up her split pea soup, I could have obliged easily.
But how does one who has never known the pain of loss comfort one who has? My knowledge of death begins and ends with the fact that I will never be capable of dying, or truly understanding it. It’d be like asking a fish what it was like to breathe air. Still I tried my best to learn.
I knew what other ponies would have said to someone who lost a dear friend, so I said those things. Perhaps they came across as empty words and she was too kind to say so, or maybe she understood I was helping in the only way I could. It deflated my ego a few sizes to realize I could bend the fabric of reality, but not fix the sadness she felt.
Dwelling on it won’t get me anywhere right now. What matters is that I was there for her. Even if I’d acted sooner when I saw the change, it wouldn’t have mattered. I could never say no to her, and the longer I knew her, the more I wrapped myself around her hoof.
I had gone from trickster to friend to lover, and that was when I made the first of my many follies as a ‘reformed’ deity. I assumed Fluttershy was incapable of doing something that could hurt me.
Sunny had invited Hitch in to use her guest room and spend the night while they waited for Zipp, Pipp, and Izzy to arrive. Thanks to things like cell phones, roads, and the ability to fly, they should all be able to get over by afternoon the next day.
Which left Hitch in the awkward position of needing to clean up and get ready for bed. As a mare. In his best friend’s home. He didn’t know where to begin to care for a mane this long, and he’d heard it could take over half an hour to dry when mares showered.
He could have gone home to sleep, or even just to grab things like a toothbrush, but the strange creature was still out there. A part of him worried he could be harming ponies, but the more rational part of him knew that even if he was, there was nothing he could do to stop him. The smart thing to do would be to wait for backup. If he rushed back to town to do his duty now, he’d be adding one more pony for the others to rescue in the morning.
Luckily, Sunny had been expecting guests given her new friends and popularity, and had set up some basics in the bathroom for Hitch. It was a shared bathroom, next to Sunny’s bedroom. The brushes were easy to spot, along with a plethora of hair-related products. The decor was a bit of a mixed bag, including a yellow towel with pink butterflies that matched Hitch’s own flank now. Still, it made him smile to know Sunny had held onto so much memorabilia from her youth.
It didn’t take too long to run a brush through his mane. It was actually quite pleasant, and Hitch wondered why he never noticed this before. Brushing a short mane didn’t take more than a minute or two, and it didn’t really feel good either. Aside from the occasional knot in the long mane and tail, it was mostly a soothing experience.
Next he just had to find the toothpaste. Hitch started to pull out each drawer beneath the sink, a part of him wondering why a mare needed so many drawers full of brushes, pads, curling irons, and more.
One of the drawers hit a snag, and fell right onto the floor. There was a loud angry buzzing noise, and the wooden container began to crawl across the floor. Hitch picked up the drawer and his eyes went wide in shock.
There was something large, black, and shaped like Dahlia’s blue ribbon winning cucumber plant from last year’s Farmer’s Market skittering its way across the floor.
And it was heading right for Hitch’s hoof.
He yelped a faint feminine squeal as both wings flapped and carried him up onto the edge of the bathtub. Hitch perched there for a moment, until he tried to think about the fact he was using his wings. Both of them snapped shut, a hoof slipped, and he found himself on his back in the bottom of the tub.
“Sunny!” He cried out for help. The fiendish device bumped up against the porcelain of the toilet, which seemed to amplify it to the volume of a large horde of very angry bees. “Sunny!”
There was no reply, perhaps she was downstairs and couldn’t hear his pleas for aid.
Hitch sighed. “I can do this. I graduated top of my class in Sheriff’s academy.” He righted himself and pulled his head up over the edge of the tub to look at the battery operated coltfriend. “Though, to be fair there were only two people in the class.”
He reached out with a hoof and started jabbing at it until he finally found the switch and turned it off. Hitch looked at his hoof in disgust, and then the drawer he had knocked out.
“Okay, just gotta put it back in the drawer, hope I don’t die of embarrassment, then wash my hooves.”
Hitch climbed out of the tub and used a hoof towel to toss the contents of the drawer back into it, before fidgeting to get it to slide back into place. Once it was done, he could finally take a few deep breaths and calm down.
“Now I just need lots of soap.” He turned on the hot water and pressed down on the soap dispenser.
It was empty.
Zipp and Pipp had arrived first, and in quite a good mood. They had really enjoyed their flight to Maretime bay, only having to leave this morning to make it in half a day. Izzy had arrived shortly after. Her walk to town had taken a bit longer and she’d had to get up very early.
Now that we had cleared a table and brought everypony up to speed on yesterday’s events, it was time to figure out a solution.
“So, you’ve been a pegasus for almost a full day now and you haven’t gone out for a quick flight?” Zipp asked incredulously.
“Um, I’ve had a few other things on my mind.” Hitch pouted. “Like getting the crazy dragon-thing to turn me back to myself.”
“Yeah, but come on, there are some things you can only do as a pegasus.” Zipp smirked and glanced over to Hitch. “Or as a mare…”
“Zipp!” Pipp barked and rubbed her forehead. “Really, the last thing I need is to think about one of my friends doing that.”
That got a chuckle from most of the table, however Hitch just stared back at Zipp nervously, then Sunny.
“So what about the riddle?” Izzy asked. “This Discord guy sounded like he wanted you to play a game to get back to normal and if there’s one thing I know, it’s games.”
Sunny opened her journal to read the riddle she had written down when Hitch had shared it. “If you want to get back to what you were before, you must seek out the special four. Bring them back to the place you began, and I’ll turn you into a stallion again.”
“Well there’s four of us, and restoring magic to Equestria was pretty special,” Zipp observed.
“And this all began down the road from the lighthouse, right?” Pipp asked.
“Yeah.” Hitch snatched up some of the wheat snacks on the table and began to eat them.
“Oh,” Izzy sighed. “Kinda an easy riddle, I was really hoping for another adventure. All we’ve gotta do then is take him down the road, and poof! Back to normal. Do you think he’ll want to play another game? Or maybe teach me a few spells?”
Sunny shrugged. “I don’t think any of us really know what we’re dealing with. I’m also not sure trying to ‘activate’ the gems again will do anything, since the real magic was inside us all along… but I think we need to keep our options open.”
“And do you know anything about this Discord, Sunny?” Zipp asked. “We’ll need a backup plan in case our theory about this riddle being the solution falls through.”
“Well, the guardians of friendship defeated most of their villains by becoming their friends. Dad never really went into too much detail on them. Discord was supposed to be a prankster and trickster, he probably got along great with Dash. I’m not sure why he was so attached to Fluttershy though.”
“Yeah,” Hitch said. “He was kinda fixated on her, and how he needed a friend.”
“So, if he needs friends then let’s offer him some.” Zipp gestured around the room. “Plan A is to solve the riddle, plan B is to convince him he doesn’t need to use his tricks and illusions to force us to be his friend.”
Everypony nodded in agreement.
“Okay, let’s head out and see what happens.” Sunny got up from the table and made sure the three gems were in her saddlebag. “We’ll call the gems plan C.”
As they all headed out the door, Zipp hung back and stepped up beside Hitch. “You know, Sheriff, you make a cute mare.”
Hitch blushed and opened his mouth a few times before he found the words. “You’re messing with me, right?”
She smirked again. “Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be messing with you would it?” Zipp let him blush for a moment before adding. “Don’t worry, Sheriff. Even magic has to obey the laws of physics, I’ll figure out how he transformed you one way or another.”
The hilltop was empty when everypony arrived. Only the bandolier and Sheriff’s badge from yesterday remained on the ground where Hitch had left it. There was also some wooden debris and purple grass.
Izzy picked up the badge and brushed it off, handing it back to Hitch. He put it on, and pulled his pink mane out from under it. “Thanks, Izzy.”
Sunny took a deep breath, and called out to nopony in particular. “Okay, Discord! We’re the new guardians of friendship, and we’ve solved your riddle! We want our friend back!”
The breeze picked up, but nopony appeared after Sunny had issued her little challenge. They looked around for a bit, and she was going to call out again, when they heard a voice.
“Missing somepony? Or did they cut the budget, and were only able to afford five of you?” Discord asked.
They all turned around to find a long serpent-like being in a leather recliner, wearing sunglasses and eating popcorn. He wiggled his toes on one foot as he stretched.
“Discord,” Hitch said. “We’ve solved your riddle, I’ve brought the four of them back here to where it started. So turn me back.”
“Riddle? I just said that to get rid of you while I worked out a few kinks in my magic. I’m in total control now, see?” He snapped his fingers and a pink cloud appeared. It began to rain down chocolate milk on the ponies.
Zipp shot him an unamused look as she stepped out from under the cloud. “That doesn’t look under control.”
“Dash’s understudy, I see. Everypony’s a critic.”
Sunny stepped forward and faced the draconequus. “Discord, I don’t know much about you, but from the stories I’ve heard you were a villain and a trickster, but you kept to your word when you played that game with the guardians of friendship.”
“Reformed villain, thank you very much.” Discord snapped his fingers to make his halo appear over his horned head. “And I’d prefer if you didn't retcon my origin story right in front of me. Equestria would have fallen a dozen times if not for my intervention. Well, to be perfectly honest I also instigated a quarter of those… but still. Show a little respect for your elders.”
“So you don’t intend to keep your word?” Sunny asked.
He groaned. “Like I said, I was just trying to get rid of Fluttershy until I could overwrite her personality, which reminds me.” He snapped his fingers again and nothing happened.
“Oh, my…” Hitch couldn’t explain it, but he felt sorry for Discord. He walked about halfway over to give him a hug before stopping. “Wait. What’d you do?”
Discord snapped his fingers a few more times. “Well shoot, I guess I did run that risk when I chose to cease existing.” He caused his chair to vanish and stood up. “I was just trying to finish Fluttershy’s transformation.”
He’d barely finished the sentence when an angry Zipp zoomed past where Discord’s head had been. She turned around to go in for another pass when she hit a large spider web that hadn’t been there a second ago.
“Feisty, we might get along after all.”
“You turn him back!” Zipp shouted.
“Why should I?”
“You can’t just replace your old friends, but you can make new ones.” Sunny walked up next to him and looked up. “What happened to you that you’re going to these lengths to get Fluttershy back anyway?”
Discord looked down at her and for the first time in this conversation, he had nothing to say and no magic to weave.
After a moment of silence, Izzy came up and hugged him. “You lost her, didn’t you?”
Sunny joined in on the hug. Pipp was busy keeping a cautious distance while trying to sneakily record everything on her phone. Hitch joined in last. Zipp was doing a good impersonation of a fly and tangling herself up in the web.
“Ugh. I forgot how insufferable hugs were,” Discord whined.
“Twilight, Rarity, Dash, Pinkie, and Applejack were your friends… but Fluttershy was something more, wasn’t she?” Sunny asked.
“She was everything to me. I’d do anything to have her back, and I’m afraid that’s why your colt friend is out of luck.” Discord vanished in a puff of smoke, taking the web tangling up Zipp with him. He reappeared a moment later lying across the road.
“But we can be your new friends, and we can prove it.” Izzy smiled and walked up to him. “Plus you like games, so how about we play for it?”
“Izzy, this isn’t a game of Just Prance, this is Hitch we’re talking about,” Sunny argued.
“Um, it’s okay with me,” Hitch said softly. He shook his head, hearing that voice again that was too soft and kind to be his own. This whole situation was upsetting, and now Hitch was hearing a voice in his head, soft and kind, suggesting how he should act. He hoped it’d be easy enough to keep ignoring, but it wasn’t helped by the fact that he was feeling sorry for Discord. The worst part is he couldn’t tell if it was him feeling it, or Discord’s magic.
“What did you have in mind then?” Discord asked.
“Spend a day with each of us, and get to know us. We’ll prove we each want to be your friends.” Izzy looked over to Hitch. “Then you can have five new friends, instead of forcing one pony to pretend to be a friend with your magic.”
Discord thought it over for a minute. He held all the cards in this game, he would only need to lie and say one of them had failed to befriend him if he wanted to win the game. Usually he tried to make his games have a little more semblance of fairness.
“Okay, I’ll play your game. One day each, not counting Fluttershy there who is already my friend. If you four can prove the,” Discord made air quotes with his hands “‘magic of friendship’ on me, I’ll turn him back.”
“I’m not sure I like those odds,” Sunny observed.
“Doesn’t seem like we’re going to get better odds though,” Zipp whispered to her. “Izzy might have at least bought us a shot. Even with his powers seeming not to work correctly, I don’t see how we could take him out.”
“Well I’ll do anything to get back to normal,” Hitch added. “This is getting more and more unsettling.”
“What do you think, Pipp?” Sunny asked.
“I think this is the breaking news story of the century! Oh, and I’m in!” She replied.
“Great!” Izzy reached out and shook Discord's hand. “Oh, I almost forgot, no more using your magic on Hitch to change him.”
“Aye.” Discord, suddenly fully outfitted in weathered pirate’s gear with an eyepatch, hat, and peg leg, responded. “We have an accord. Shall we start with this here pirate lass?” He gestured to Sunny.
Izzy looked at Sunny and broke out laughing. She was sporting a wide black hat and an eyepatch. The rest of her outfit looked like something out of an adult novelty store that a promiscuous mare might wear to celebrate Halloween.
Before Sunny could process the outfit and complain, the pirate props vanished in a puff of smoke.
“You’ve heard it here first!” Pipp said into the phone, drawing Discords attention to the small device. He’d never seen anything like it, appearing over her shoulder to look down at the small screen. “We’re going to be playing a game to determine the very fate of Equestria with one of the most notorious frenemies of the guardians of friendship!”
Sunny facehoofed. “Pipp, you’re going to panic everypony phrasing it like that.”
“Fine.” She hit a button on the phone. “The fate of a very fabulous looking and beautiful mare, formerly the stallion and Sheriff of Maretime bay, Hitch!”
Hitch sighed. “Great now everypony knows, I’ll never hear the end of this will I?”
Sunny gave him a gentle hug. “I’m certain you’ll hear the end of it, as long as nopony finds out about a certain something under my bathroom sink that I found moved earlier today.”
“Kill me now,” Hitch uttered.