• Member Since 20th Sep, 2018
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The Blue EM2

Glad to be here at last.



Sunny Starscout is no stranger to strange things happening in Maretime Bay. However, today takes the cake, for everypony is speaking in a strange, incomprehensible manner. Can Sunny get to the bottom of the situation and restore Ponish to normal? And what precisely is 'craunching a marmoset' anyway?

Based on English as She is Spoke, a masterpiece of unintentional comedy.

In the featured box as of 04/10/2022! Thanks guys!

Now has a dramatic reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S9xrSyC55c&ab_channel=StraightToThePointStudio

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 110 )

Sorry is much to frolic. It is good some read of the classics. Yet this bit of dialogue is repeat:

The pony continued onwards in his rather curious approach to Ponish. "It is pursy, it is foundered. Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like?" He paused to take a breath. "It is undshoed, it is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier."

This is not of the flashback how she is usually done. :moustache:

I see you write in the Carolina style. Three smart.

Dan #3 · Oct 4th, 2022 · · ·

Kamisama, the rotates ground Henry Fowler's butt is genius.

Oh, god. That smartass Henry Fowler is turning in his grave.

Mark Twain mentioned that book. It's what happens when you try to write a dictionary, are careless, do not have a proofreader, & do not speak English. He thought it was humorous.


Sunny smiled. "Eh. Nothing some money, nothing some Swiss."

The smile dropped from her face as the words she had just said entered her mouth.

Don’t worry, I got this one. *slaps Sunny to snap her out of it*

this is more like a pony of the dirty hungarian phrasebook from monty python's flying circus.

Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke of the West.

Bafflingly hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

It much is like watching of the Twitch chats. Strange and would hurted brain, in manner likely like mild dyslexia.

I really shouldn’t have read this so late at night. Brain really would hurted.

Hilarious. Much of the funny.


"Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect."

Mark Twain

Abraham Lincoln was also a fan; he and his cabinet members would read extracts to one another as light relief after a long day's work.

It might not be that simple.

'Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook' is based on English as She is Spoke. However, the intent is rather different; the creator of the phrasebook has malitious intent. In comparison, Twain described English as She is Spoke as being written 'in serious good faith and deep earnestness, by an honest and upright idiot who believed he knew something of the English language, and could impart his knowledge to others.'


Also, good elephant.

Aww, thanks. The fun of literal translation.

Ouch. Have you burned oneself the brains?

ICR the exact words but he did note that most of the phrases expressed dissatisfaction or trouble & based on his travel experiences that was correct


I do remember reading that
"Out of sight, out of mind" came out "invisible idiot"

"Coke adds life" (ad slogan) came out "It brings your ancestors back from the dead"

Toyota proposed a deal with the Chevy people. They wanted to call the car a "Toylet"

Apache to English
"Kemosabe" = "Idiot"
"Tonto" = "Stupid" (Spanish)


In a lot of cases, you can figure out what Carolino was trying to say. 'The walls have hearsay', for instance, is clearly somebody trying to use the common idiom 'the walls have ears'. Then we have completely inexplicable ones like 'nothing some money, nothing some Swiss'.

In Wales, there was an incident where a sign that read 'staff entrance' in English read 'enchant the wooden stick' in Welsh.

Here, the Top Gear presenters are completely baffled by a literal translation of a French car owner's manual.

Another famous example of wonky translation producing a work of unintended comedy is Striking and Picturesque Delineations, a book translated literally out of Scots Gaelic which provides such ideas as 'incoherent transactions' (a rather strange mistranslation of 'theft'). It is also notable for heavy use of archaic and misused words; it is believed the author had read a Gaelic translation of the works of Samuel Johnson and was trying to outdo him in terms of flowery langauge.

Toodle the song, was. Most fromish. Would expectorate again. Manipulative appendage in upward direction.

Take care it not do you a hoof kicks.

Delightful! I did not know the context of this before reading it, but it was still a very nice read. And I'm glad to have learnt of said context, as well!

No problem. English as She is Spoke deserves to be preserved in the annals of comedy for all time.

Well, I know for a fact, first job I got in a Mexican restaurant in Texas, the (Hispanic) cooks told me "soap = cabron"

The waitresses informed me "No, it's not. It is "jabon"


Well then that was certainly something else so apparently Sunny's day has been weird because everybody was speaking in strange words and she doesn't understand what they're saying half the time even asking her friends talking and weird language or accent so she went back to the lighthouse to check out what's going on apparently the crystal has been crooked for some odd reason and it affected everybody the way they talk boy that is some power the crystals have but once you fix it everybody was starting to speak normally well almost because now Sunny has it well again that was something but pretty good keep out the good work

Or how about the time where a company selling ballpoint pens believed that 'embarazadar' meant 'embarrassed'? (False friends are a pain in the rear.)

More or less. Glad you enjoyed.


And the very old anecdote of a tourist trying to ask how old a kid is, but not pronouncing the accented ñ.

¿Cuántos años tienes? "How many years do you have?" vs. ¿Cuántos anos tienes? "How many assholes do you have?"

There's another story from Ireland about the police trying to find a motorist called Prawo Jazdy, which resulted in lots of people getting pulled over. It turned out that 'Prawo Jazdy' means 'driver's license'.

Also, when I got to Texas, I had the fun of bumping into Xmas carols in Spanish & other new stuff IDK.

They told me Felix Navidad was running for office & that was why he was on the radio so much.

I also learned that Swamp Coolers were made with gin. Well,.....no, they aren't. IRL. I learned that they are an inexpensive alternative to an AC. They work fine -as long as the humidity is low. In East Texas this = never. In Phoenix, this = when they are needed most.


My god!! It looks like the original draft for The Room!

Promotion! Promotion! This is all I am hearing! Hear is your coffee and English muffin and burn your mouth!

You wrote day, month. By this I can tell that you aren't an America. We go month, day. Usually makes the list for "Things Foreigners Find Weird/Confusing About The USA"

The British are an exception to Mark Twain's epigram "Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. "

Recommend Mark Twain's essay "The Awful German Language" (A Tramp Abroad appendix D)


To be fair, British English is the original.



I have long maintained that anyone who says "Grennech" and "tems" instead of "Greenwich" and "Thames" has no right to claim to be an English-speaker.

And that includes New Yorkers. It's "Greenwich Village," full stop.

German word order is notorious for producing hilariously broken English. "Sustenance out of direct sun illuminates" indeed.

The connection is closer than you think. Tommy Wiseau is originally from Poland and speaks English as a second language. This explains many of the odd sentences.

Then again, this is why you hire an editor.

They've got a "Jew Anita" Street
They also think "Soho" = South Of HOuse ton"
& Versailles rhymes with "fur sales"

Q Know how you can tell a New Yorker?
A They're the one yelling at Santa Claus "Hey Fatso, you wanna get that sled offa my roof? You're getting reindeer shit all over everything.
You can always tell the English.
You can always tell the Dutch.
You can always tell a Yankee,
But you cannot tell them much.


My hovercraft is full of eels!

Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy?

Well OLD old English was a Gaelic tongue. Even the Romans couldn't make them speak Latin.

The Angles & Saxons were Germanic invaders & they called their dialect of German Old English. It really got screwed up when the French invaded in 1066. They called the results Middle English.

Even the English need training to read anything much before the 16th century. Shakespeare & the King James version of the Bible are about as far back as we can read & they are thought of as weird.


As somebody whose father has a degree in old English, I agree. The King James Bible also has plenty of odd expressions; 'in my father's house there are many palaces' is one of the less weird ones.

I will not buy this record, it is scratched!



Well OLD old English was a Gaelic tongue.

You mean Bretonic? Or Frisian?

To be fair, the King James Bible's English was archaic even when it was written. Can't have the layfolk reading the Bible, after all... (For those who think I'm being facetious, the church of the time raised objections over translating the Book to a living language).

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