Discord's New Fluttershy

by Kaidan

Ch 01 Today's Not Gonna Be My Day

Blessed silence.

The problem with a nice long rest in a quiet corner of the void, is that it’s never quite as long as you hope it would be. Just the fact that I’m conscious is a bad sign. It means I have a concept of time, of existence, of a world I thought I’d left behind.

The memories trickle back one at a time. A cloven hoof, an antler, a clawed hand. My chosen form in my mind’s eye. The vast black expanse begins to light up as white pinpricks of light wake me from my long slumber of non-existence.

The magic is back.

And with it, came awareness. Sorrow. Grief. Helplessness. For all my powers and immortality, I could do nothing to help them. And then I continued on, as I always have, but filled with more regret and sorrow than I thought possible. Because I’d learned what it meant to have a friend, and then they were taken away. They exist now beyond the veil, in a place even I can’t reach.

Never will we be reunited, but perhaps I could do the next best thing...

Hitch walked down the road followed by a long line of flying rodents who had recently moved into Maretime bay. With the city expanding to fit in new pegasi and unicorn residents, he’d thought it wise to move them out into the underbrush outside of towns. It was no forest, but it was a safer and happier place for them to live.

“Alright, you can move in here. I’ll send my helpers to check on you in case you have trouble getting food.” Hitch gestured to a couple of seagulls and a crab.

Several of the rodents ran over to hug Hitch’s leg before retreating into the bushes. He smiled and turned to the lead seagull, who had taken to wearing a small tuna can as a symbol he was the leader of Hitch’s crew. “You got that? Come check on them every couple days.”

The bird saluted with a wing.

“Thanks, now we better get back to town to make sure Sprout isn’t slacking off on his community service.”

The stallion and his animal helpers began to walk back down the road towards town when they were met with a most unusual sight. He looked at it and was shocked at what he saw. The creature looked like some predator out of a horror movie. It had a mixture of paws, claws, hooves, various sharp teeth, and mismatched wings. The elongated body looked like a cross between a snake and a dragon. Hitch wondered for a moment if this creature counted as an animal and had been attracted to him to seek help, or if this might be one of those long lost races that Argyle claimed used to live in Equestria.

“Well, you’ve got quite the way with animals don’t you?” it stated. “Reminds me of somepony I used to know, actually. However, you’re quite a bit uglier than she was.”

For now he decided a little diplomacy was in order. He was out here alone and it would be best to avoid a fight until he knew what it was capable of.

“Uh, hello there. Can I help you with anything?” Hitch asked.

The draconequus smiled. “Oh you certainly can, how kind to offer. Can you point me in the direction of whatever troublemaker restored Equestria’s magic?”

“Me and my friends did that, though I suppose most of the credit goes to Sunny… but why would you want to see her? You’re not a pony, and you don’t seem to be any animal I’ve ever heard of.”

He slithered off the fence post and curled around Hitch. “Oh, I just want to show her my… gratitude for disturbing my slumber.”

Hitch stood his ground as the strange creature continued to slowly circle him. Something about his appearance and mannerisms was unsettling him, giving him the impression his intentions weren’t noble. “I’m the sheriff of Maretime bay, and I don’t like your tone of voice. I’m going to have to ask you to leave Sunny alone.”

He laughed, “Oh, you’re going to stop me? This is rich, you really don’t remember who I am?”

“Who are you?” Hitch asked.

The being snapped his fingers, and a set of stage lights and a wooden platform complete with microphone appeared in the middle of the road. The creature began to sing. “Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a deity of wealth and fa—”

One of the stage lights flickered and exploded, interrupting what was sure to be an exciting musical number full of DMCA-violations.

“Ugh, I can’t get no respect…” The draconequus sighed and shook his head. “I must be a little rusty. Well, then, I’m Discord. The embodiment of Chaos, entropy, randomness, and not a half bad friend if you ask…” He sighed. “Well I guess there’s nopony left to ask.”

Hitch had sat down on the road and was rubbing his temples to stall a headache he felt building. “Okay… well you’re clearly magic, and I’ll help if I can, but I’ve got no idea what you want. At the moment, you’re kinda littering, impeding foot traffic, and making a mess of my town… I don’t suppose you can magic that away please?”

Discord sighed and snapped his fingers, clearing out the road and turning some of the grass purple. “Now you’re reminding me of the annoying cyan one…” He began to stroke his chin as he thought things over. “You say you want to help? Well, I suppose you could be of help. I’ve lost somepony very dear to me, my first and most important friend long ago. Perhaps you can replace them?”

Hitch smiled. “Uh, sure I’ll be your friend.”

Discord smirked, “excellent. Let’s take it slowly so I don’t turn you into a puddle of ectoplasm.” He snapped his fingers.

There was a smell of burnt toast that reminded Hitch of that thing Phyllis had once told him about strokes. His skin felt itchy, and Hitch looked down to see the white spots on his legs and stomach turning yellow. The fur over his whole body was quickly changing to a smoother and more buttery complexion.

As he looked down, a long set of pink bangs spilled down his head, blocking off his vision to one side. “Wait, what are you doing to me?” Hitch asked. His voice had gotten a few octaves higher, and much quieter, than he was used to.

There was a sharp pain between his hind legs causing him to gasp. Hitch didn’t take long to notice something was absent that shouldn’t have been. Before he could complain, a sharp pain shot down his spine causing him to collapse as two wings quickly sprouted out of his back.

Hitch panted and managed to get back to his hooves, noticing his bandolier and sheriff’s badge had fallen off while the spell had worked it’s magic. He turned his head as an unfamiliar muscle flexed, and he saw two golden wings. Behind that was a long pink tail that barely kept from dragging on the ground.

“What the hay?” Hitch whispered. “What did you do to me? Why am I a mare?”

Discord smiled and seemed to stand a little taller. “Guess I’ve still got it, though I was trying to overwrite your personality and memories too. A little more chaos like this and I should get right back into the groove of things!”

“What? No! You need to stop this right now Mister!” Hitch stomped a hoof, or at least he tried to. He tapped the ground so daintily that he couldn’t even be sure it had happened.

A large mirror appeared, courtesy of the lord of chaos, showing Hitch a full reflection of the mare he had become. On his flanks were three pink butterflies, and he’d lost several inches of height.

“No… please, change me back. What even is happening?” He sat down and felt panic brewing as his brain tried to process his sudden transformation.

“We’ll work on your personality, but your name is Fluttershy. You’re my best friend,” Discord explained. “Once I’m feeling a hundred percent I’ll get the cottage set up… maybe there’s a town nearby to turn upside down and warm up with.”

Hitch whispered something, then walked over and tapped Discord on the shoulder. “Hey, I said can you change me back?”

“Oh, you’re still here… right.” Discord cleared his throat. “If you want to get back to what you were before, you must seek out the special four. Bring them back to the place you began, and I’ll turn you into a stallion again.”

“What?” Hitch scratched behind an ear in confusion.

He sighed. “It’s a riddle, run off and solve it while I get some work done. In other words, scram! Get lost! I’ve got to figure out what’s happened while I’m gone and then I can finish your transformation into Fluttershy.”

And with that, the draconequus snapped his fingers and vanished. In the distance, Hitch could see one of the houses on the outskirts of Maretime bay float up into the air and turn upside down, slowly rotating in mid air. A moment later the home imploded, sending out a shockwave of air that hit Hitch a few seconds later.

“Crap, I better go find Sunny and the others and see if they’ve got any ideas. Maybe we can use the gems to give him a friendship concussion or something before he blows up anymore homes.”

Hitch knocked on the door to the lighthouse. It had only finished being rebuilt a week ago, but it looked as good as new. The light was functioning again, the stones were freshly painted, and they had even added a little extra space to the floor plan. Sunny may have lived alone, but with her renewed interest in studying friendship and archaeology, it had seemed prudent to give her some extra space.

A moment later, Sunny opened the door. She took one look at Fluttershy and froze, her eyelids slowly raising as her mouth widened. Her growing surprise manifested in a full volume squee of joy. “Fluttershy! Oh my goodness, I’ve got so many questions.” She turned and ran into the lighthouse. “About four hundred fifty for one of the guardians of friendship!”

“Sunny…” Hitch cleared his throat and tried louder. It was very disconcerting to be in a mare’s body, but the fact his voice was so adorably soft was already wearing thinner than his other changes. “Sunny!”

She rushed back to the door and set her journal down. “Is it true you can talk to animals? Who was your favorite friend and why was it Twilight? Did you really have a bunny that started a war?”

“Sunny!” By now, with several shouts to warm up, Hitch was able to get her attention.

“Huh?” She looked up from her journal.

“It’s me, Hitch!” he explained.

Sunny tilted her head. “What?” She smiled. “I have a friend named Hitch. But you’re Fluttershy, I own tons of stuff based on you. I have a couple carved dolls, a pillow case, a blanket with those three pink butterflies… You must have time traveled here. Is there a robotic unicorn from the future on it’s way to kill me and you have to ensure my survival so that the resistance can save all of Equestria in the future?”

Hitch let out a long groan and shook his head. “Now you’re just telling me the plot to Judgement Neigh. Plus your friendship heroes are from the past, not the future.”

“Okay then. What happened to you?” She raised her hooves to do air quotes. “Hitch.”

“I ran into this half goat half pony half dragon half bear half pig… actually, the details aren’t important! He was complaining about magic being restored, then he snapped his fingers and did this!” Hitch raised and lowered a hoof in front of his now female pegasus body.

She giggled, “that’s quite a story. Did Izzy send you? Or maybe this is a costume and makeup, something for one of Pipp’s klip klop videos? I guess she must have found a decent look-alike in Zephyr Heights.”

Hitch sighed in exasperation, before a thought occurred to him. He stuck a hoof out in the air. Sunny looked at it in confusion, until he shook it a couple times. “Come on, I’m not on duty.”

Sunny reached out to touch the hoof, and the two began to chant in unison. “Up high, down low, hitch it to a post. Flip it sunny side up and on a piece of toast!”

It took her a moment, but it finally seemed to click. “Hitch? It’s really you?”

“Yes!” he whispered at full volume. “Do you have your cell phone? We need to get Izzy, Zipp, and Pipp here and the gems… we’ve got to do a friendship explosion or something before that crazy thing gets back.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I guess you better come in. Just, wow. You make a pretty cute pegasus” Sunny bumped him on the shoulder.

He frowned and shot her a pouty look, “come on don’t joke like that.”