"When the buckled girder lets down the grinding span, the blame of loss, or murder, is laid upon the man." - Julia Ecklar & Leslie Fish
Princess Luna is a rather archaic princess. Being a thousand years forward in the world, it is understandable. She always assumed that she would always be an outlier to others, never finding something even nearly as old as her besides books and buildings.
However, she is surprised to discover an object more archaic than her. Far more archaic.
A train.
A rather... famous train.
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Just some pointers:
1. Don't use coloured text. It's considered poor form.
2. You do a good job of making this comprehensible to non-railway enthusiasts, but seeing as 3440 is a UK locomotive, the use of UK terminology may make more sense ('driving wheel', rather than 'driver', and 'chimney' rather than 'smokestack' to name two examples). Also, 3440's driving wheels are 6ft 8inch, not 6ft 6inch.
3. The Great Western Railway only fielded a single Pullman formation between 1929 and 1931, used on express services from Paddington to Paignton. It is extremely unlikely that a City class locomotive would ever have worked this service considering the timings and the weight of the stock.
4. Luna is thousands of years old. Truro, in comparison, was built in 1903. If anything, the engine is less archaic.
Well, this is an interesting read so far. Nice premise! I’ll be watching how this story unfolds.
With all this comparing to Equestrian locomotives, it seems we may be building up to a nice little race in the future. Hello small pony train, meet the better GWR train.
Do you mean "...as a he, she...". You might have missed the comma.
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Thank you. Missed that little bit.
I need more of this
Well done on your horse words
Is this a reference to my comment on the last on?
Also, I call it! Eat my dust you inferior pony engineers! You can not match human engineering!
Did you mean "...And, if I may, how did you get...".
I hope we get too see another locomotive, heh how would they react to flying Scotsman? Or maybe a sir Nigel Greesly A4
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I'm sorry, are you a freaking psychic? I have an idea in the works SPECIFICALLY involving Sir Nigel Gresley!
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Perhaps… I might be a psyker, but I do want to see a sir Nigel gresley locomotive in mlp, MAKE WAY FOR THE PAIN TRAIN!!!
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i.pinimg.com/originals/73/33/3b/73333b87d9488bfb4705f054b068912f.jpg
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I just heard the demoman charge scream when I saw that 😂
Coronation class when lol
Drat, I was hoping for flying Scotsman FUCK
Well done on your pony words
I completed reading! And it only took me two plus weeks!
This was a nice little story. The knowledge of trains is something you clearly enjoy and it bleeds into the page in an intriguing way. I never took Luna to be a train jockey but it certainly doesn’t surprise me. Her having an entire machine to herself to learn, going on an adventure, and showing off to other ponies is a very Luna thing to do and I think it’s great.
Celestia was pretty gruff with her the whole time, perhaps she was just worried.
Those six other ponies got me interested. Are they going to be the stars of their own train or other vehicle adventure? Are they the gear monkeys of harmony? The idea of sets of six ponies in fields outside the Mane Six’s expertise that still represent the elements is amusingly funny to think about. I could be completely wrong but OCs like these are interesting to me.
The quality of the writing was pretty good, but most of what I would say advice wise is covered by previous comments.
I do recommend the articles on good editing on the site’s FAQ. They’re no English 101 but they can point out a lot of common mistakes that maybe aren’t innacurate English but are well known to the fandom, case and point ‘lavender unicorn syndrome.’ It’s tempting when writing fics to attempt to introduce or only imply a character that everybody already knows about, but when that does come almost anything is better than describing a pony by the color of their coat and their tribe. I would’ve said ‘a certain Princess of Magic’ personally, which is both tongue-in-cheek and avoids LUS.
I’m not a good teacher on these sorts of things ^^, so all I can do is encourage you to read some self-editing books or brush up on the tutorials on this site. Your writing will be so much better for it and even more fun to read.
I definitely look forward to whichever train adventure comes next. Please keep writing!
I think Sam of thomas and friends, he's American and he's big hearts and he's large enough for Princess Celestia
here's video link Welcome to the Island Of Sodor Sam! | Meet the Engines | Thomas & Friends - YouTube
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So you're saying Celestia's locomotive is Union Pacific Challenger. I don't think that's it my opinion though.
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It's just idea, not more
I forget, weren't there some art deco like designs for a few trains? Or am I thinking of a diesel?
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Certainly. "1930s Streamlined Trains" will let you find what you're thinking about. There were a LOT of them. Mostly in America, but a few were in Britain if memory serves.
Why do you ask?
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Such styles interest me
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Saaame. I love em'.
When will there be a sequel. You really set us off on a cliffhanger there.