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Titanium Dragon


TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.

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After the birth of Princess Cadance's fourth child, an adorable little pegasus filly, Princess Flurry Heart wants to know why none of her brothers and sisters are alicorns.

Her parents claim not to know why she's different.

They're lying.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 169 )

Aarrgh! The Feels!

MEDIC!

*falls over dead*

Good story

So is there going to be more to this or will it just be a stand alone and we presume life stays hunky dory?

7506323
Time of death: 3:54 pm.

Alas, poor angel. We knew ye so well. :fluttershysad:

I'm glad it worked for you!

7506327
This is intended as a stand-alone work, though I may or may not write another story in the same continuity at some point in the future. I don't have any sequels currently planned, though.

I'm glad you liked it!

Yawning again, she closed her eyes, letting the love of her parents flow into her as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

Double Meaning's Man

7506408
I had a lot of fun throwing in references to emotions, especially love, into Flurry Heart's portions of the story. I was trying to capture the essence of an idea I got while reading about a girl with synesthesia, a condition where your senses "cross over" - in her case, seeing sounds. Because she had always seen sounds, she assumed that everyone saw sounds - it was totally normal to her, but it wasn't anything she ever really talked about because, you know, that's just the way things are! Clearly everyone sees things the same way! I think my favorite part of her story was that she always thought when she was little that they turned down the lights when the orchestra was playing so you could see the music better, which was beautifully logical but completely wrong.

I was trying to present Flurry Heart's view of the world in the same way - someone who lives in a world where love and emotion are tangible things, but she doesn't realize that no one else can sense them and be sustained by them in the same way that she can.

I'm glad you had fun with the ending. :twilightsmile:

7506450
Excellent. With the potatoes on my side, how can I fail? :moustache:

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading!

Super-cute story, and I love that cover image, too. :twilightsmile:

7506467
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks again for all your help editing.

I love that cover image, too

Yeah, it's adorable.

Amusingly, when the artist posted the image on DA, they noted their enjoyment of reading folks' explanations for it.

I think mine was a bit longer than the others. :raritywink:

7506498
It's only like 10,000 words longer.

No biggie. :trixieshiftright:

After the birth of Princess Cadance's fourth child...

Jesus Christ! Can we slow down here? Back up a little bit? They've still got ONE child, let's not force more kids out of the womb yet! I mean, Goku and Chi-Chi had three kids but there was a time gap between each birth you know! Cadence and Shining are only royalty, they're not Super Saiyans and...Chinese...Japanese...lady...thing...I don't know, but I saw Chi Chi use Kaio-Ken (Kaio - what?) before so I don't know if she's all human...

Anyway stop playing god and breeding children!

Sincerely,
A concerned brony who made this comment as a joke. Don't take it seriously, people. Especially you, Mandopony. God I hate you Mandopony. I want to set you on fire and cook marshmallows over you. And share them with everyone here.

Good story anyway, Mark (aka; Titanium Dragon).

7506594
Now, now, Princess Cadance is the Princess of Love. :duck:

Besides, Flurry Heart is seven and a half now! That's plenty of time especially considering that Cadance never actually had to give birth to her.

I'm glad you liked it!

Mark

But... my name's Nathan... :fluttershysad:

Really nice execution there. My only complaint is that there aren't 100,000 more words, but what can you do..

7506476 You're very welcome - I'm glad I was able to be of some help, minus the waffles I had on your tag line. :facehoof:

And yeah I love that original. The royal couple in the background are hilarious.

It also does make me a little sad in the context of your story, because it does say a lot about the potential she could have had and gave up, perhaps in thoughtless desperation. It would be interesting to see if/when Flurry gets a cutie mark, and the inevitable fallout in her future.

7506613
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

Alas, all good things must come to an end. If I do ever write something else in the same continuity as this story, though, I'll definitely mark it as such.

7506616
Yeah, the cover art is pretty tragic in context, and Shining Armor having to come to terms with Chrysalis being a pony who might have actually cared about something makes her a bit more of person rather than a monster, which is why he was so shaken afterwards. Killing a monster is much easier than killing a person, even an evil one.

You aren't the first to suggest that it would be interesting to see what happens when Flurry Heart gets older and figure out what is really going on with her. I don't have any particular ideas for a sequel at the moment, but if I do come up with one, I'll definitely let folks know.

7506603 Oh, so she had Flurry Heart cut out of her womb?

i haven't actually watched the first episode of Season 6 so I don't know if there's something about Flurry Heart I should know or whatever. I was busy trying to have relevance in the fandom and stuff. Hmm...come to think of it there's a few Season 5 episodes I still need to watch too...

Anyway, keep up your work Mark.

And I will burn you inside of your house Mandopony. You and your girlfriend. But not your dog if you have one. The dog will be saved. So I'm not a total bastard.

“Not even Thorax?” Flash Sentry asked.

Shining Armor’s eyes narrowed. “Not until he returns my croquet mallets.”

:rainbowlaugh:

Overall very adorable.

Edit: maaaaybe the flashbacks could use a sliiiiiightly better transition, but they work OK as is.

7506723
No filly of mare born!

Though really, you'd have to have read the story to understand the reference I was actually making in the previous post.

7506732
I was very worried that this weekend's episode was going to render this story an AU, so was glad that it didn't end up doing so and even managed to get a joke out of it.

Sorry about the abruptness of the flashback transition. It was intended to be a bumpy ride, not give people whiplash, though I was worried it was already getting on the longer end of things.

Glad you liked the story, though! :twilightsmile:

Ri2

Does Thorax know what Flurry Heart really is?

Very well done story with tons of feels. :heart: I really liked it even though it was a little sad in parts. :pinkiesad2: But everyone was kept well in character. Good job. :moustache:

This was aaaaawesome. I love your packing and delivery of events. It's not like you're keeping secrets but we're discovering things with the characters. And the realisation with Chrysalis...dang.

Do you think you'd ever write more in this setting? It was very good.

You're trying to kill us, don't you?

A magnificent story indeed!

I find myself unable to refrain from joining the ranks of those wishing for more. I'd love to see this cool little AU expanded upon.

7506824
Thanks!

Yeah, it definitely has some emotional topography, highs and lows. But having those lows lets the highs be that much sweeter.

I'm glad you liked it and felt everyone was well in-character; I try hard to get folks' voices right, though of course in the case of Flurry Heart and Early Dawn I had to make them up from scratch.

7506845
I was going for the slow burn reveal there, so hearing that it was "aaaaawesome" makes me very, very happy. I had a lot of fun packing foreshadowing into Flurry Heart's section, and am pleased that it payed off for you.

As for writing more in this setting... I do like the ideas, characters, and world here, but I don't have a specific idea for a sequel in mind. If I come up with an idea for a sequel, I'll definitely let folks know.

I'm very happy you liked this so much, though. Thank you for your kind words!

This was more awesome then I thought it be. I loved it. Great job.

-BFBL

7506871
Who, me? Would member in good standing with the Evil League of Evil ever try to kill someone? :scootangel:

7506933
Thank you! It is always terribly flattering to hear folks want more. I'll definitely let folks know if I write another story in this continuity.

7506966
Glad I managed to exceed expectations. Always a great thing to hear. :heart:

I can dig it. The explanation, I mean.

The first transition was a bit too sudden, I think, but the writing was competent throughout.

7506996
Yeah, I think that might be giving a few people whiplash. :trixieshiftright:

Still, I'm glad you liked it overall!

Bradel would say this was a very "TD story" in that I apparently enjoy taking things from canon and weaving them into a story that explains what happened, so I'm glad you dug it.

ow... my feels gland!

It just COULD have happened like this...

7507041 I very much enjoy doing that exact same thing!

What's the story behind the story?!

RB_
RB_ #35 · Aug 24th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Now, this may just be because I'm a changeling sympathizer, but I can't help but feel like Cadance is kind of the villain of this story.
Shining kills Chrysalis in self defense, and he takes their baby home with him. But he feels bad about what he's done.
Cadance, on the other hoof, doesn't appear to care about the fact that Shining has murdered her, even after finding out she was a mother. And then she proceeds to enact an elaborate plan to cover up this fact, with no apparent intention of ever telling Flurry any of this.
Meanwhile, Chrysalis was apparently sacrificing her own health and food in order to take care of her daughter, and most likely attacked Shining in self defense.

Food for thought, I guess.

7507105
Don't worry, that soreness is sign of good exercise. :raritywink:

But thank you for saying so. :heart:

7507131
:twilightsmile:

I love writing stuff like this. Hearing that it could have happened this way is just music to my ears, as it means I did it right.

Plus, I figured it'd be a fun out for folks who didn't like the idea of Flurry Heart being an alicorn.

7507170
Yeah, it is a fun way to think about stuff, and also rich ground for storytelling. "Yes, but" is a great way to come up with an idea for a story - taking things and then twisting them into a new shape.

Here, my inspiration was Cadance's very short pregnancy in terms of episodes, combined with the fact that it appears that alicorns become such by accomplishing some great deed, something which was further mentioned in the season 6 premier. Celestia's line about this never having happened before just threw fuel on the fire. Combined with the idea that we haven't seen a third Summer Sun Celebration yet, and Flurry Heart seeming highly active like the Cake Twins were after they were over a month old, the timing was potentially right for this.

Also an anecdote about a girl with synesthesia, which I talked about in this post: 7506433

Finding cracks in stories gives you a nice spot to wedge in your own. :raritywink:

Congratulations! Yours is the four hundredth (out of 707) oneshot l have in my library! Also, good story with an interesting twist set.
Enjoy a like, fave and follow

7507308
Sweet! Thank you! I'm glad you liked it enough to want to stick around. :twilightsmile:

Incidentally, what is your avatar? I can't quite tell. :rainbowderp:

7507348 you're welcome!
My avatar is my girlfriend's dog being happy and rolling in the grass on a sunny day

herp #40 · Aug 24th, 2016 · · 1 ·

So heartless. I wish I could tell her, tell her right to her face that her daddy murdered her mother and thought nothing of her as a mother, despite the fact that she was starving to feed the little changeling. Maybe Chrysalis isn't nice, but she wasn't a bad mother.

Gets off computer.
Drives to nearest hospital.
Falls over.

"My heart can't handle the feels!":heart:

Nurse: "Another cute/sad fanfic victim. Damn internet."

7507408
It is a leading cause of death amongst 18-34 year olds!

Good thing they can't hike our insurance premiums anymore for pre-existing conditions like reading fanfiction. :raritywink:

7507251
Well, Chrysalis was a rapist and a kidnapper who was trying to rape and kidnap Shining Armor again when she was killed, so it isn't exactly like Cadance is apt to have a whole lot of sympathy for her. Chrysalis was not 100% evil, but she certainly was a very bad person, and attacked what amounts to a police officer who came out to bring her in. Cadance felt a little sympathy for her, but was much more worried about her husband and the kid, neither of whom did anything wrong. That's not to say that there is nothing pitiable about Chrysalis, though - which is why Shining Armor felt bad, because she was not a monster, but a very bad person.

7507422 Lol, always nice when someone plays along.:pinkiehappy:

:twilightoops: she's a what?
:moustache: A loved foal, Look at our monsters...:raritystarry: Spikey! :facehoof:

I like this. It fits in well enough with canon events that I could pretend it's true if I wanted. Which I do. :pinkiehappy:

At least, right up until the probable invasion in the season finale. Oh hey, Chryssie's alive, and she wants her baby back! :flutterrage: Unless Shining had just been mistaken in thinking she was dead. :twilightoops:

Poor Flurry's eventually going to realise how differently she perceives the world from everyone else, though. Reminds me of a friend who didn't realise how badly he needed glasses until he was in high school. During the eye exam, the optometrist asked him to read the letters out aloud, to which he responded, "What letters?" I have no idea how he made it that far with such poor eyesight. :rainbowlaugh:

AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhdead

Please write a squeal where she slowly learns she's different, maybe her changeling powers are growing stronger, and Shining Armour and Cadence finally have 'the talk' :twilightsheepish:

7507525
Man, the glasses thing I can totally relate to... when I was in first grade, I was always confused why people sat in the back of the classroom. You couldn't see the board from back there!

It took until second grade for people to realize that I had ridiculously terrible eyesight. I remember when I first got glasses, I was amazed I could see the leaves on trees.

My mom felt guilty for some reason. :rainbowlaugh:

It is hard to know how others perceive the world. After all, however you see things is normal to you!

I had fun writing this story, so I'm glad you enjoyed my idea of the way things really are. :raritywink:

RB_
RB_ #49 · Aug 24th, 2016 · · 10 ·

7507456
I understand that Cadance has every right not to have sympathy towards Chrysalis, but even so I do think it is highly irresponsible not to tell, or plan to tell, your adopted daughter who her birth mother was.
Also, that line about it not being Flurry's fault that she "got the wrong mother" is absolutely disgusting.

This story is so warm and lovely. So warm to my heart...I wonder how other Changeling able to life without queen from now...Or Flurry Heart will be their new queen? :twilightsmile:

But why everypony in this story seem very talkative? Especially all young ponies...So much none-sense talk before we can finally reach the actual story. :facehoof:

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