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The dreams started three months ago, maybe? He forgets. All he knows is that they continue. That they consume her every waking moment, that they erode her hold on life and on him. He fears the dreams Lyra has of the Nameless City, and he fears the light in her eye as she talks of it and it's shadowed inhabitants.
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References and existential horror, these are the things at which Cyne excels.
Well, this seems rather interesting. I love Lyra, so this should be really good.
2664421 Achievement get: write a LyraLyraLyra story
2664458
Well, that has now been completed. Oh, and congratulations on becoming a Proof Reader for the site.
Lovecraftian?
2664493 I wrote this to a reading of Lovecraft's sonnets, the whole Yuggoth cycle. Mostly, I was trying to capture that Lovecraftian obsession with dreams.
2664517
Oh my word. The Yuggoth Cycle is one of the best, in my opinion.
Commence reading!
If this story were a pool, I would be drowning in it because of how deep it is.
Seriously though.
Great story and great understood plot. Allows the more intellectual of us to fully center our brains around creating a fantastic world where Lyra is our key player. I can't say it was all that scary until the end though. And even that wasn't a thrill ride. But simply the way this whole story was understood was amazing. The only mood killer for me was the more than occasional grammatical error, and strange, almost ethereal, shifts in points of view. Going from He to I extremely fluidly. Can't say I fell in love with it, but it was certainly thought-provoking.
And congrats on the new position btw!
Why should I think when Lyra can do it for me?
I really liked this one.
2664623 Yeah, I kind of played around with it a bit too much.
2664627 Plot Twist: Lyra becomes WackedoutPet, sister of the Wulf Cyne
Now that's tragedy. Lyra you poor idiot...
2665066 I kind of got sad working on that last third, man. Like, legit sad.
2665092 I can see why. It's a perennial favourite, the character who chases a dream only to find the reality is somewhat less than desirable. In that situation does she cling to the dream of her old life or does she decide she was delusional? There's no happy ending.
2665101 ...
...
I wrote a tragedy.
I always said I never would.
I need to go rethink my life
2665111 Life is tragedy.Might as well get with the program.
Time to enjoy some good old dreaming crushing!
Yes... YES...YESSSS! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Dreams bring us close - but ancient lore repeats
That Equine tread has never soiled these streets.
Huh...
Anthropology as written by H. P. Lovecraft. That certainly was interesting.
Will Lyra become the Equine equivalent of Abdul Alhazred? Will she be forced to spend the rest of her days in the mental ward of Ponyville hospital gibbering next to Screewloose and Screwball after returning with the Bronynomicon - a leather(!) bound scrapbook detailing her time amongst the humans?
I can't help but feel trolled. I was certain that the city was Jannah. I was also imagining Lyra in a situation like Sirius, wandering amidst the dead souls of the Keywork. But I guess that's just me... I've yet to read a story about Lyra in which she isn't obsessed with humans. :/
This one is a bit different from your other works and in a good way. It was a little on the darker side, though definitely not the darkest thing you've written. Lovecraftian stories FTW! So many references, so little time. Overall, excellent work, Mr. Cynewulf.
Headcanon'd.
Did you mean "passersby?" Or maybe "a passerby?"
Did you mean "had come?"
God I loved this Bioshock reference. :3
2665797 It was all for you
daemeonEldy2667024 pffft Bronynomicon! Gods I love that name.
I dunno.
I think she's stuck in New York.
2668279 NiC was convinced it was Jannah too. I sorry, LonelyBro! I didn't think about y'all guessing Jannah or I'd have put in something to make it obvious it wasn't.
Your work is always good, but I have to admit that this isn't a favorite for me.The tone is deliciously uneasy and ominous, but the story (to indulge in a gross simplification) is essentially a human-pony story. While it's a unique and refreshingly cerebral take on an overdone trope, the overdone trope is still there, and I can't help thinking that it undercuts the story's "weight" to some extent. For good or ill, I just have a difficult time taking human-pony stories seriously, no matter how seriously they may be written.
I have started it (now finished)... and I'm scared to finish it (too late!). The 'Dark' tag, Cyne, it pulses red at me and warns me. I don't like red lights, they mean bad things.
Don't let bad things happen to Lyra.
Someone stole my word, 'Ethereal,' so I need to find something else. Guazy, removed... it feels to me like an unavoidable, undesired, compelled recounting of events- a story being pulled from the teller, a little bit of modal horror to go with the events.
A city where the streets have no name... dark materials... I may not be up on Bioshock references, but I do believe I spot a couple there, thanks for tossing a bone to a old, old man.
2671094 Vast majority of the time, I'm with ya, actually.
2672764 All good things flow into the city, Feather.
Well... I feel so bad for Lyra, that pulled at my heartstrings.
2674549 I observed what you did there
2674781
I was pretty sure of how this would end, as normally you'd think to make the dream sequences formatted in italics and the waking world not. Not only that but how you wrote from Caramel's perspective made it seem more ethereal somehow.
In short, a cool take on Lyra and certainly well Lovecraftian with an interesting sort of meta foreshadowing. I liked it.
2740612 And I'm glad you did
I really thought people would get it was New York from the Island scene.
2741880
I actually thought that Island was Alcatraz, what with the iron bars and bad vibes. Hey, gimme a break; I'm not from the U.S.
I'm glad to see a Lovecraftian pony story that's fresh enough, and doesn't just tread the same old ground--not too much, anyway.
This was tragic without being overwrought or blatant. Your prose feels almost... serpentine, if that makes any sense. The whole story reads like a dream written in water. I'm not so good at the metaphors.
It's an excellent take on Lyra's supposed obsession with humans.
Also, sometimes I get the feeling that you like to put Caramel in less-than-pleasant situations. Just an observation.
Well done, Cyne!
3150747 I know! Poor Caramel, for reals. I did let him ask out Macintosh without tragedy tho! heh.
Thank you for reading!
Interesting. I guessed it was New York when she was describing the park. Rather evocative imagery, and lesson learned: what happens in dreams should probably stay in dreams.
3282108 Dreams have a hold on my imagination. As we speak, I ease about the concept of Lucid Dreaming, trying to accomplish it. It's a strange world, but the fact that dreams even exist can make one wander about the nature of things. Even if it's idle speculation.
It's just weird, you know?
Anyhow. Thanks for reading!
Deep.
4504601 As I was tidying this up for EQD, I came across this long forgotten comment, and in combination with your Twilight avatar, it made me chuckle. Thanks for that
4629865
Heh, I actually uploaded this avatar in the middle of a comment argument. I wanted every response to begin with 'Bitch, please'
Well shit..
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw47_small.jpg
"Lyra Heartstrings, whose husband had no second name to borrow and loose clan, says that it is a park and that it is wide."
Loose= Opposite of tight.
Lose= Opposite of win/obtain.
Sorry to be a Grammar Nazi, but this fic must be polished to a perfect sheen.
4654560 What's the error? A loose clan, as in they don't have a firm tradition or quite the same sense of identity that like, say, the Apples have. Loose as in opposite of tight would be correct.
4655750
Gah, buck this insomnia. I re-read the sentence and it makes sense indicating that he did not belong to a loose clan, as opposed to him losing his clan by borrowing a last name. Please disregard my misunderstanding.
4656968 That sentence still doesn't make sense. It's missing a word or two somewhere to indicate that 'loose clan' is a separate object term.
Why was she dreaming of new York City?
Where's the connection? How did something from another dimension without magic even enter her mind in the first place?
This is a trope for the sake of a trope.
4657320 Your point?
You don't have to have some huge magical reason to do every single thing done in fiction. Sorry, but you don't. Why does Raskolnikov's friend in Crime and Punishment keep giving people bear hugs? I have no idea, the other Russians don't seem to do it. Not every single thing has to be, and to be blunt, if they don't it's not really the end of the world. I don't tell you, but that's not to say there's no reason, I just didn't provide one because the cause wasn't the point of the story, and that would have been irrelevant.
4658049 The text never draws me into the story. The tone feels awkward throughout. It feels like many other 'creepypasta' stories that children are frightened of simply because they don't know there's nothing to be frightened of.
The reveal was without impact. It was a hard tell and described a sudden descent into despair for... I don't really even know why. This was what Lyra was aiming for wasn't it?
Now, I could see Lyra breaking down if she ended up in Detroit...
3282108 *smirks* My dreams will soon be poured out upon the Earth. They bring me great joy, but are the most primal nightmares of all humans who shrink at the darkness...
*Alondro is cool because emo and angst*
A fun boundary, and one that perhaps knowledge truly cuts twice.
Not sure about this one. It's got a kind of creepy and atmospheric vibe that I like, but I had trouble really getting into it, and if it's meant as a horror story, then the horror never really sunk in for me.
I missed the telltale signs of which city it was meant to be (not an American), but it was obvious from the outset that it was humans. And that means that rather than being as in the dark as Lyra is and sharing that moment of revelation with her at the end, I was instead waiting the whole time for her to reach the same point that I was at by the story's start, and wanting for answers as to why she was dreaming about it in the first place.
I'll admit that whatever the hell happened at the end there was kind of unnerving, but it really wasn't much more than that. I feel bad saying so, but it just feels to me like this story should have had a much greater impact on me than it actually did, and I think that the lack of a real mystery element is what did that. And what questions were still left unanswered are just the confusing rather than the intriguing kind.
It was interesting, but I don't think it was all that it could've been.
4874160 you know, originally, the shadows weren't described as bipedal at all. I thought it was better that way. I still do, but I was informed this was not true in the proofing. Ah well.
4875491
I think you should've gone with your first instinct. Perhaps I still would've guessed humans without that part, this being Lyra and all, but that particular word meant that it'd be impossible to not know.
Hey, I just posted a review for this fic. In case you are interested, it can be found here.
Overall, I found it a very interesting read, but was severely put off by the overly flowery prose. It obscured some things to oblivion, and made it hard to care about many things you were talking about. Still, I appreciate it for its unique style.