Fanfic Reviews – Unclassifable Edition · 2:52am Oct 2nd, 2014
Here are reviews for a special category of fics, the ones I have a hard time fitting into neat labels. This is an interesting bunch, universally unique, so it seemed like a good idea to review them together. Here you will find:
Monochrome
Returning Away
The Library of Discord
Three Nights
Lyra Beyond the Walls of Sleep
As a reminder, scores are in a 0~10 scale, with 3 representing a mediocre fic, and 8 being where I can say I like a story.
A Man Called Horse – Monochrome – Art house fic
A mysterious phenomenon leaves all of Ponyville black-and-white.
This is what an episode of mlp would be if it were an arthouse movie. It is courageous, unique, and full of beautifully showy writing. Consider the following phrase:
Their eyes locked across the distance, and Rainbow felt herself struggling to breathe, her mouth opening and closing in a futile attempt to put what she was seeing into words, a single velar plosive teetering at the edge of her tongue.
Sentences like this are spread throughout the fic. Typically I have no stomach for this kind of thing, as too often stories devolve into literary masturbation when they go this route. However, this fic uses such passages surprisingly well, serving to highlight and give weight to specific points – like here, where Rainbow Dash believes she just saw a gryphon. Of course, your enjoyment will be directly proportional to liking this kind of thing, but at the very least it is impressive. Also worthy of note is Zecora, probably one of the most well written I have ever seen, with dialogue that flows and rhymes well, often in creative ways. I mean, look at this:
”Forgive me. That is the name in zebra astrology for the shower you call the Haizum-Shabdiz”
Overall, the writing is amazing, perfectly evocative, even if there are occasional editing issues. It also has an annoying tendency to bleed into the dialogue in a way that doesn’t fit the characters too well, but it also helped make the speech sections meld better with the rest of the fic, so it didn’t bother me too much..
In fact, other than that characterization is excellent. Which is essential, since much of the plot relies on the interesting progression of the characters, and how they relate to the lack of color – particularly in how it affects Rainbow Dash. It is properly dramatic, and whenever you see characters despairing over something, it feels earned. Pacing is another strong point, other than some of the scenes involving Rainbow’s epiphany, which could have been significantly trimmed down.
However, it suffers from the eternal subtext over text issue that plagues arthouse films. It is the triumph of theme over plot, where things happen because they must tie thematically, with not enough care for how much sense it actually makes in context. In this case, both the disaster and its cause come and go, getting resolved not for an in-universe reason, but because that is the thing the characters should go through. This is something that really throws me off, and left a sour taste in my mouth.
Despite that, the themes explored here are great, like the duality between solitude and sociality, the necessity of social markers, and the role that our community has in our lives, down to our very perception of the world surrounding us. It all gets some great treatment during the story, and its repercussions are very well explored, particularly when dealing with Rainbow Dash and Twilight. I just wish it was better integrated with the rest of the plot.
Through its thematic links, it gets to an amazing payoff that ties the whole story together very well. Despite how contrived I felt it was, I enjoyed it immensely, and brought the whole story up a notch. Even with its issues, this is a unique fic that I believe must be read, and it’s a shame how criminally underappreciated it is right now.
Why it should be read: For a very well written fic, unique and remarkable.
Stand out moment: It is a hard choice between the writing and the ending, so I am going with both.
8/10
Hawattie – Returning Away – Literary Fiction
A soldier returns home after a long period away.
This is a nice story, with nice feelings, well realized characters, and good pacing. I really like the interconnectedness of its themes, such as growth, change, and the realities of war. However, there isn`t much of a clear growth for the character himself, with him being essentially the same before leaving and after returning. It also is pretty predictable, and the writing isn’t particularly inspired, but I enjoyed it much more than the sum of its parts would indicate.
However, It must be noted that it isn’t very pony. In fact, I believe it could be taken as regular fiction without altering a single word. I mean, it is about a soldier named Joel with a mute horse named Dancer. I am inclined to think it was born as original fiction, but was ponified for publication on fimfic. I dunno if it is best or worse for that, so take it as you will.
Why it should be read: For a nice story about the inevitability of change.
Stand-out Moment: I really like the idea of the mute pony following the Griffon, making him not alone but still solitary in a way.
7/10
Chinchillax – The Library of Discord – Literary Tribute
Twilight gets lots inside Discord’s head, which houses an absolute library.
There are two sides to this fic. On one hand, it is one of those tributes/extensions to Library of Babel. On that level, it is an interesting, intrinsically mathematical way to interpret that story. The author does so with multiple clever metaphors, mathematical analogies, numerical analysis, and deals with the importance of effective search mechanisms when dealing with large data bodies – all of which are relevant to my interests.
However, it is just as much Discord’s story, a headcanon where he has been alive for an incomprehensible amount of time, and how the ponies are able to show him a new path that prevents him from going mad. In this we see Discord suffering, understand how his inner mind would potencialize his isolation, and get a glimpse of the pressure of an infinite life, to the point that time for him has almost no meaning. This is a great lenses through which we can see Discord’s reformation, and contrasting what he has to gain with all he has lost is very well done.
Alone, those are interesting, but when put together, you get quite a mess of a fic. The long descriptions of both sides fail to bring anything interesting to the other, and delving deeper into, say, the library’s size, does almost nothing to give you deeper insight into Discord’s loneliness. It is one of those cases where the sum of the parts is more than the whole. It is sad, because I quite like the individual aspects, but the overall effect is underwhelming.
Why it should be read: There are two great stories here, but distilling them takes some effort.
Stand out moment: The whole thing with Twilight writing the book of what has happened, and having to find the one containing the perfect ending to her tale was powerful.
6/10
Bradel – Three Nights – Hearth’s Warming Fic
The important moments of Cadence’s life.
What is it about Cadence that brings out the best out of writers? I believe it is her unique position in the show, without much in the way of real characterization, just some details regarding her position in the world. She is this partially filled canvas stuck right in the middle of Equestria, allowing authors to fill these blanks to the best of their abilities, while still keeping in line with the rest of the show.
This is a Hearths’ Warming story, but is also so much more, feeling very timeless. The writing is clever, carefully showing and hiding information, and it backs fantastic characterizations, witty dialogue, and an overall feel of care to all that is being said. The thematic coherence here is powerful, juggling well the ideas of loneliness, Cadence’s new position in life, the meaning of important dates, and the concept of family. It has a lively cast of OCs, great characters on their own right, and they are very well utilized. It also uses the interesting plot point of announcing that more recognizable characters will arrive at some point, but having these barely matter at all. On a meta level, I found that very interesting.
I don’t know exactly why this isn’t a full 10 in my mind. It certainly comes close, but there is something here that I can’t identify, and it just doesn’t cut it for me. I think it might be the fact that the other characters are little more than auxiliary for the overall story, not only in that this is Cadence’s story, but in that they don’t matter much to the resolution of the plot itself, which felt somewhat wrong, and mildly soured the ending for me. Still, I loved every second of it, and is one of those stories I will probably reread sometimes in the future.
Why it should be read: For a beautiful, lovely, and timeless story.
Stand out moment: How despite its significance, nothing ever actually happens during the Hearth’s Warming date itself, only in relation to it, reinforcing the idea that is is a symbol above all else.
9.5/10
Cynewulf – Lyra Beyond the Walls of Sleep – Surreal Fiction
Lyra Heartstrings dreams of humans.
I wanted to like this story much more than I did. I praise it for its atmosphere, for the surreality of the situation, and for just how visceral Lyra’s dilemma feels, torn between the need to know and the fear of that knowledge, and how that slowly tears apart her loved ones. It is about obsession, and maybe even about depression. I love how uncertain it feels, never letting the reader feel like he is standing on solid ground.
However, that is inextricably linked to how overwrought the prose is. It fits the romantic characters and the overall mood of the piece, but it also makes reading through it a slog. A little more moderation would have gone a great way in this regard. In fact, many sentences are just too much, for instance:
It had been natural to think that it would be pleasant if his wife took up dark materials and made marks on things to capture likenesses.
Instead of reinforcing the idea, these make the writing too vague, enough to make me not care. This helps make the conflict too vague, making it hard to relate to the character journey, dampening the effect of the final decision.
The writing style is interesting. It is extremely showy, very roundabout in how it talks about everything. Also, it alternates between regular third person for the Lyra sequences, with third person omniscient when dealing with the other characters. As strange as that may sound, it is all very well utilized and gave the story a unique feel, but sadly, it doesn’t do enough with the style to justify its existence, staying more as a curiosity than anything else.
At the end of the day, this is a story that gets crushed under the weight of its own interesting ideas.
Why it should be read: For the creative and interesting writing style.
Stand out moment: The imagery of the dream town, and how it is nameless, is very interesting, even if the payoff of saying it is actually New York is terribly underwhelming.
4.5/10
And that’s a wrap! In common, they all seem to have unusual plots, or particularly evocative writing, and mostly seem to strive for something bigger than the story itself. And it is not like they don’t strive for an overall tone, but this is the type of story more preoccupied with making its own thing than keeping into certain boundaries. And, even if I don’t particularly enjoy some of these, they are certainly remarkable.
Thanks for the constructive feedback on The Library of Discord!
When writing it I viewed it as the perspective change from Twilight to Discord, but I can see how it reads like two separate stories. It flips from a story about Twilight to one about Discord and Fluttershy. A more cohesive story would be able to interconnect the tale between Twilight and Discord better.
Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to apply it to what I'm writing now.
You have an amazing blog, by the way.
Three Nights is one of those stories where I have to admit that I'm just missing something completely. There's obviously something to this 'symbology' that I'm completely oblivious to – you could completely remove chapters 1 & 2 and I don't actually see how it would have affected the story in the slightest.
Maybe I just found the sentiment too cloying and forced, but it's definitely the kind of thing where I want to understand what I'm missing.
I really liked Library of Discord just for its great ideas, but as I told
2500865 already, it didn't feel terribly polished.
Monochrome looks fascinating, but I'm afraid the author seems to have come and gone like a breeze at night.
2500865 Thanks! I am glad I could give some good feedback.
2504084 Yeah, that is too bad. However, they seem to have registered in May 2013, so I believe Man Called Horse might return. That avatar is too awesome to be left on an inactive account.
2501063 It has been a while since I read the story, but I remember that the first two chapters serve to establish the connections between Cadence, Hearth's Warming, and family, reinforcing the idea that both family and an exact date might assume different connotations, but still keep their meaning nonetheless.