A Thief with a heart of a substance better left unsaid wakes up in Equestria after a unlucky turn of events. How will a jaded, world weary human get along with cheery, naive Ponies?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This time around this story is a little more complex and fleshed out, and not too crazy. Still Twilight taking the test even more seriously is going to be interesting, Max was a little ticked off with Twilight the last time around, this time things are changing. Twilight is more of a... Dick and the relationship between Max and Twilight is more strained.
Rarity is a lot more likable now and Rainbow isn't batshit stupid and completely worthless. All in all, this going a lot better than the last time and a hell of a lot less nuts than the OG story.
However, I am still a lot more exited about chapter 65. Twilight has long since lost my favor, and the story after this is a lot more mature and enjoyable.
Keep up the excellent work and quality. I might not always respond to every chapter, but nevertheless, the new chapters are far better and expand the old world into a bigger, much more defined place.
10877344
Glad to see that slowing it down a bit and my attempts with honing in on the problems in that relationship have been worth the time. I've wanted to clue in on Twilight being lowkey abusive since the first go around, but it was harder to put in with less experience in being tactful. Still trying to make it clear that Max loves her, but is defiant of her decriers.
As much as I dislike Rarity and Rainbow, the story thus far really needs them to catch up with the GalPals or get cut out. It's nearly impossible to reason why they would even be around if they couldn't make peace, and thanks to the amount of hatred people had for them... Well, it's fairly simple to see where they needed and still need to grow, especially with more life experience behind the text.
Always happy to hear that, my dude. Hopefully a few hours on the grind can get some solid headway and I can start tying the strings together. Always hoping to improve and impress; Happy reading and exist in ambitious contentment, I think.
10881571
I mean, he managed to Max Mind Slave (TM) a significant portion of the planet, millions of people even. Not that Equestrians aren't unfamiliar with the concept...I mean, canonically there ARE reformation spells in Equestria to the point where Keep Calm and Flutter On mentions all of them ended up torn out of the library books.
I kinda hope Sombra is dead-dead-dead here and not just working on getting a material form back together. One decent-range radio broadcast with Soothsaying jacking a popular program and you'd have instant nightmare fuel.
10881631
I'm not gonna use that at all, man. Totally not a solid set-up for mind-control and an interesting concept for a story
So I just found this story and id love to start reading but it looks like a rewrite has started? Should I start there or from the very first chapter?
10892371
The Re: Chapters are the better version of the story, so I recommend starting with them.
For any reader who sees this comment and has the same question: I rewrote the story because I could never really say that I was fond of ATT as a whole. The first beginning was weak and terribly, atrociously written, the middle drags, and the end goes batshit to catshit all over the alphabet.