• Member Since 18th Jul, 2013
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Lord Of Dorkness


Deep into that dorkness peering...

T
Source

This is meant to be a (mostly) comedic take on the subject of a person ending up in Equestria as a red and black alicorn. Please read at least chapter one before down-voting into oblivion. Edited by DarkParable and Xanathar, so go check their stuff out.

I got this comment from Xanathar while being literately sick with a fever:

Don't worry. Looks like you are just a niche author.
Your writing is too confusing and smart for connoisseurs of red and black alicorns, but too esoteric and rough for high-brow crowd. For example, you still don't fixed seven improper uses of then in the second chapter of Rare Source. Every orthodox grammar nazi closed tab after second improper use. :derpytongue2:
Probably you never will be a popular author. Deal with it. I'll fain take you anytime than 99.9% of shit featured on the main page.

Then I thought: Challenge accepted! Muhahahahahahahahah!

The idea of this fic just kinda flowed from there. (The slip-up has been corrected, by the way.)

Onward towards this train-wreck of a idea that amused me while sick!

Don't expect frequent updates or this making sense. Tags updated as I write. For the League of Humans Acting Villainous

Pic made using Generalzoi's Pony Creator while laughing uncontrollably. Link in the pics source.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 283 )

Bloody died laughing... But uhh... Alicorn, not pegacorn. At least not if its a pony saying it. If Double D there uses pegacorn it has comedic value as it implies that she knows its the wrong term and is just using it to rile ponies up.

4082163

Oh, I rather like that idea! Think I'll actually use it, I'll just give it a few hours to see if I get any more feedback.

But glad you liked it!

4082178

Glad to hear! Might be a while though, I have a really hard time writing in third person, but it was really the only perspective that made sense for this fic.

4082246

And I'm glad to have been of service. If you'd like I can put you in touch with an editor friend of mine. If he's not too busy he'll probably help ya out. Just PM me if you want, not gonna hand out contact info in a comment for everyone to read.

4082516

Fair enough, and probably rather wise at that.

PM sent.

I'm confused is DD a female alicorn that used to be a dude? BTW, this seems like a great story.

It looks great so far. I can't wait to see how will you continue.

4082516 I know that it sounds rude and such, but... Do you know any good editors that might be willing to help me as well?

4082929

I can ask around. The guy I was going to put LoD here in contact with is too busy atm to help out with any more projects. Sorry. For this kind of thing its better to just PM me. Like I said, I'd rather not give out contact details for anyone in a public comment.

Oh god. This is beautiful:pinkiesad2:

This was both hilarious and bittersweet at the same time. Maybe one day she might get lucky and Applejack will return her feelings, even dark heroes deserve some loving. ( cause she reminds me of Shadow the hedgehog with her dark powers but genuine heart )

As a Grammar Nazi, I like this story. Admittedly, the ellipsis usage is a little excessive, but I'm guilty of it myself.
Erm, right.
I like this story! More, please?

...Wow. Just... wow.
I would say something bad, if I could.
But... no.
Let's cut this short: This is the kind of story that is a mockery and yet, the pinnacle of the category.
Bravo!
I hope you'll continue it soon!

-Zeph

YbJ

pegacorn

Alicorn. It would be okay if DD said "pegacorn" just to annoy other characters, but canonically the correct term is "alicorn".

gently lifted the cup in her gasus mane

Probably meant gaseous.

claiming their not good enough for me

they're

Overall a good start. I can't wait to see where this story goes from here.

reads the first line

I LOVE IT. A WELL-DESERVED LIKE. YOU MISERABLE BASTARD.

Um, that was... sort of... touching, or something? I'd give up bacon consuming shadow powers if it meant Applejack's love. :ajsmug:

Very interesting story. I love the twist with you're character being in love with Applejack.

In which I read something that breaks my mind and only one thing is obvious:
...
...
Needs more peaches.
:pinkiecrazy:
Icing on the cake if she's also a balloon
:trollestia:

I tried. But it just isn't my taste of comedy. Sorry.

The most hilarious part is the note the author got...

>>>>For example, you still don't fixed seven improper uses of....>>>

Grammer nazi's, HAVE AT IT!!! :trollestia:

And just then, Alondro's OC appeared... Lord Alondro, the Deus Ex Insert (LAtDEI, for short)! :pinkiegasp:

His shining, variegated visage shown with every color in the spectrum IN THE EXTREME, causing instant blindness to all who dared look upon his majesty!

LAtDEI smote the boring black alicorn OC (too boring to ever have red stripes) and was once more victorious, as he always was because he is JUST SO FRIGGIN OP THAT NOT EVEN GOKU IS OP ENOUGH TO BEAT HIM!!

:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

Comment posted by Falkner deleted Mar 16th, 2014

Got a quick fix for you.

It was probably quite stupid of her to keep it so openly and she knew it… but she simply couldn't bring herself to look it away somewhere.

Pretty sure that you want lock there.

The 'ironically bad OC' part only seems to be her powers and not her personality, which make the 'bad OC' ironically good. keep this going I'm loving this.

4088433

But then Goku turns God-SSJ3 and hops through the ironically bad story ponifying machine and whups the LAtDEI into nothingness, gives him a senzu bean, and lets him go free, never to be heard of or seen again.

4082246

I enjoyed it, but honestly I'm more interested in what he/she is doing after this chapter than before it. We get the gist of the past anyway in this chapter, and it seems to me this story would work better focusing on the future. Not to say a couple of minor flashbacks would be out of place, but flashbacks, especially long flashbacks are rather overused on this site. Honestly if it does focus entirely on the past from now on I'll probably unfavorite it, but I guess we'll see.

TLDR: Nice intro, please don't in medias res.

Congratulations. This got featured. Now if you'll excuse me, I'mmona go commit the suicides.

Fourth time's the charm, right guys?!

I have no idea where I'm going with life......

Dude...as a plot line, this is kind of cliche, but as a character study it's gold! The complexities of the characters you have put in here are astounding, canon and fanon alike! You have earned a like, a favorite, and a very eager fan! :pinkiehappy:

It was a dark and stormy night.

I'm not sure why, but I spent a good three minutes laughing at that line.
Have an upvote.

This is great and I encourage you to keep writing and updating this.:twilightsmile:

Not a big fan of Alicorn OC's but this seams interesting enough so I'll give it a fav and see were it takes me from here.

It was enjoyable enough, but it could have been better.

It was very exposition-heavy, and sometimes the dialogue was a bit labored. I spotted a few spelling and grammar errors, but those can easily be buffed out. The prose was actually very well done, kudos.

There's only one problem that really sticks me in the side like a thorn:

Applejack calls someone a "git".

Applejack calls someone a "git" twice. :ajbemused:

Finished reading it...
That was honestly good, I mean it was honestly a genuine and good story, good on ya'll and keep going! FOR PONIES! FOR GLORY!

Well, regardless on the subject's 'parody' nature I'm still down-voting this like every other human fic I find.
Gotta stick to my principals.

Ah... that was really nice. Sort of melancholy.

I don't mind a story that features a powerful character like this. You can generate conflict for a story in ways that can't be solved with application of godly might easily enough, so it's just a different sort of story. And this one seems particularly well written, even for such a weird premise.

I seriously hope to see more of this in the future.

4089823
Acting on knee-jerk vitriol based on premise alone.

Gotta pity people like that.

I really want to give you a lecture on what Irony is and isn't (for instance, I'm pretty sure that your use of the word in the title isn't correct at all - and I'm also pretty sure that that doesn't make it an "ironic" use of the word "ironic," either), but -

1: It's 1:30 AM where I am, and -
2: The more I think about it, the less I understand what Irony actually is (expect that it isn't what your title implies it is)

Note that I haven't actually read this yet, and from the comments and feature-box I'm guessing it's actually kind of funny, but honestly I'm too hung up on the "irony" thing to let it go without a condescending remark like the one I'm typing right now.

EDIT: Narrowed it down (yes i copy-pasted it from tvtropes shut up)

-It is not a lie.
-It is not a joke.
-It is not a coincidence.
-It is not merely anything unexpected.
-It is not the same as sarcasm. <<< (same principal as "parody" or "intentionally bad" so there's the problem with your title)
-It is not something Alanis Morissette understands. Or maybe she does?

NOW TO ACTUALLY READ THIS STORY

Okay yeah, that was pretty awesome.

And I'm 87% sure it contained several correct uses of irony, so my contempt for all humanity is quelled, for now.

4089823

Your principals? Are you perchance a big shot school magnate? :rainbowderp:

Holy fucking balls.
I actually avoided the shit out of this when I saw this in the just added section. I regret it so hard now, though.
So. Freaking. Hard.

OH, HELL, I forgot to point out the typos.
“I just… ain't certain how to feel about a alicorn claiming their not good enough for me.”
An alicorn and they're - or better yet, she's.
Twilight says 'revengeance', which wouldn't be a problem for Pinkie, but this is Twilight Fucking Sparkle, who likely reads the dictionary cover to cover bimonthly.
"Rarity who had been left mostly pristine… if thanks to quick thinking and a simple shield rather than aim, let out a soft, polite cough."
'If ONLY because of' OR just 'thanks to'

There are likely others but I'm on an ipad and don't want to type too much on this thing.

4088148

claiming their not good enough for me

She's talking in an accent, like this:
Mah names Applejack, an' ahm ah farmer, s'till.

4090340

Actually, I'm not doing that for this fic.

It is a typo and I'm just about to fix it..

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