• Member Since 18th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Lord Of Dorkness

Deep into that dorkness peering...


"Knowing all you've seen through that man's eyes, all his powers all but forced him to do... would you still strive to all but become him?"

Knowing what I know now, and what creepy sense that strange peddler's words now make to me...

I'd still say hell yes, of course. Come on. Magic. That's like the best thing that ever happened to me.

Becoming enemy number one of a country with demi-gods at the top just because my snark has gone into overdrive? Not so much.

For the League of Humans Acting Villainous group. Edited by Ranakastrasz, newbiedoodle, and Xanathar.

Will contain spoilers for the whole of The Dresden Files up to Cold Days, but can be read without knowledge of the series.

Thanks to the Dresden files wiki for making this easier and everybody that's made this bandwagon worth jumping onto.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 525 )

You sir are a great person. FAVEd!!!

Death, snark, and magic!

It's... beautiful...

Sorry... I just need a moment...

crumble like the dreams of a model with a healthy BMI.

Perfectly Jim Butcher

:fluttercry: It's beautiful!:raritycry:

Haven't came this hard since Caster introduced herself in Fate/Extra.

I should've seen something like this coming. Time for another fave and like.

I want to say, from everybody that is a Dresden fan, thank you for adding this guy in this verse. Your portrayal of faux-Harry is very identical to that of Butcher's Harry. It always makes me happy when someone does a crossover with Dresden because the portrayals of Harry nearly matches those of the real book. Damn, if I didn't know better I would say that you and the authors of Dresden Fillies, Tales of a Wizard, and My Little Drenarians are Jim Butcher in disguise. Thats how good you guys write Dresden. My asskissing aside, I've enjoyed the shocker that not only Mab, and by extension the real Harry Dresden, exist but that she wants your guy to be her Knight in Equestria. Something tells me that, being forced to have the Dresden luck, everypony is going find out how Mab "recruited" Björd. If that were to happen it would make my day. Overall, this is a great story and I hope to see more of it.


Since he became Dresden could we say he was... Björn again?

I'll leave now.

Isn't Seppo an actual deity from Finnish Mythology?

That was Starswirl in that place, I know it!

...which is totally original in this 'verse, I think.

Ok this is an awesome first chapter. The background story, Bjord's wiseass comments, and his introductory words to the ponies fit Dresden's characterization to a T. The fact that you managed to make such a long chapter in so little time shows that you are a dedicated storyteller.


Why does it seem that every Dresden Files related fanfiction I read have so much awesome!?
Anyway, can't wait for more.:pinkiehappy:

I'll admit not coming into this with high hopes after that story-of-which-I-will-not-speak, but you sir.... You... I kinda wanna hug you now. I can't wait for more of this, especially if you're going to be throwing in as much Dresden snark and whit as you've already done. Bravo, serrah, bravo.

Sadly, my old black leather duster from my ‘I've seen The Matrix too many times’ period of fashion would be hotter than a sauna the real Harry had had a fight near, even if it did look the part beautifully.

That sentence makes no sense.

Other than that, I can feel the adventure flowing! :pinkiehappy:


The real Dresden really, really, really likes using fire based magic for combat. It's even a running joke in the series that any building he goes into has a fifty-fifty chance of ending up ashes. Was just meant as a small reference for the fans of the original series.


If you mean A Rare Source of Inspiration, I did write "First attempt at a crack-fic" and that it wouldn't be for everybody in the very description. Still, glad this one has won you over again.


Aw, thank you!

I'm actually mostly a rather fast typist. My main problem in writing is that either the words flow or they simply don't with nothing in between. I just get these huge stretches of writers-block.

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Yup. Seppo Illmarinen, The Eternal Hammerer. Master smith that among other things forged the sky.

Seriously though, hadn't thought about that Starswirl angle... but the idea of those two being the same and that he's not able to actually grow a beard is just way to awesome to ignore.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to work it in, but consider this official confirmation of 'Wow, wish I'd thought of that first. JOINK!'


I was rather proud of that one. :pinkiehappy:


Aw, you're making me blush. :twilightblush:

Still, I'm surprised nobody but Jimmy has pulled that type of stuff yet.


I realize it won't be applicable for every character, but Mab just seemed like somebody with the power to not only notice 'faux Harry' but be somewhat ticked.

And I hope none of this ends up predictable, especially the stuff with Mab. That's one of the greatest things about the original books in my opinion and I hope I manage to capture that.


Ohh... Shiny!


No! Don't leave! Puns feed my dork powers amuse me!

Seriously though, good one. :rainbowlaugh:


I actually meant Malidius, or however it was spelled. Great concept, but one both you and the fella who writes Darth Vulcan did much better.


Oh, yeah. Great concept, but Molideus is just too big a dick for me to root for as well.

One of the few of the HAV group I haven't read, and I don't think that will change anytime soon. I mean, sure, your trying to take over the world slash get home... but that isn't a reason to be such a rude bastard about it.

Will Rainbow Dash be beating anybody up (or at least be getting really mad) in this story?

Does 'Harry' believe it's a silly place to go with that silly name?

Finally, a protagonist with sense!

One of the things that annoys me most in a work of fiction is when characters surrender when it would be in their best interest to do otherwise. That, and when they take the blame (again, without reason) for something not their fault.

By the way, "condensation purple bastard" (a wet, purple bastard) should instead be "condescending purple bastard".

Excellent. This is shaping to be the most interesting of the humans acting villainous -genre of stories in my opinion.

As heavy a hitter as Twilight is, this wouldn't be the first time Harry has hit someone outside his weight class, and since Bjorn is now basically Harry minus the experience it's only naturally that this happened.

Also, Twilight... when a strange creature asks if you want to talk it over you say YES!

He could have done the same without being quite such a dick but i bet that he isn't really himself right now and is at least being influenced a bit by a outside force.
On the other hand the ponies are acting kind of stupid but on a second thought and Twilights mention of how humans need artifacts and tools to wield magic kind of implies that they had problems with humans before, or it simply refers to the sunset debacle.

3993471 Perhaps he was. There were two bits of "dickishness" that I observed (kicking Dash when down and kicking between the legs), not counting the attitude. However, those can be justified easily by their utility, by the fact that they were responses to Dash's attacks, and because he tried gentler methods of dissuasion first.

The attitude, while not ideal, seems a perfectly reasonable response to the situation (attacked for no reason... twice).

the part where he kicked her while down was the part that made me say he was being a major dick about it he could have just pushed her away with a bit of wind magic, flared his shield in her direction to block her or just step away a bit its obvious she no longer poses a serious thread and is at worst a distraction.
The attitude is completely in character even if he could have held back a bit in the swear word department.
Also he didn't even say "Stars and Stones" or "Hells bells" at least once :twilightangry2:

Word count at time of typing: only 1999.9 + shipping &handling

This chapter is incredibly good in estabilishing a Dresden Files vibe. You catched Dresden's defiance against authority, his no-nonsense attitude when dealing with fights, willingness to fight dirty, and his sharp wit that makes the ponies look like morons. I also enjoyed how you contrasted Dash and Twilight restraint of using their full power in a fight against Dresden's more pragmatic approach. Great chapter.:heart:

Canterlot’ place. Silly name

Let us not go to canterlot , tis a silly place.

Awesome!!:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache: "Harry's" attitude, tactics, magic and even exposition seem spot on, well done! The only mistake I saw was saying that the Left side of the body was the one that projected energy. The right projects and the left absorbs, that's why the shield is on the left, to keep out harmful energy. Also, "Harry" should say "Hell's bells" and "Stars and stones" a number of times.
Also, when Pinkie does here "Knock-knock" thing, I think she should follow up with actually saying "Surprise" when Bjorn/Harry looks at her.

Am I the only person who isn't too concerned about "Harry" being in character? After all, he is a being who was transformed into a shape resembling Harry Dresden...

First proofread I've ever done. Went through with Microsoft word, looking at each underscored piece. Likely meaning I missed other things.

When a wizard looks into the eyes of another being with a soul, they catch a glimpse of who that person really are.

Should be "really is"

It’s relatively simple to get it to do so, at least in a wide open areas as this town square.

"areas" should be "area"

However, it seemed she had either training or just raw talent, because she just flipped in the air like a ninja trained by freaking birds and dived straight back down at me.

"dived" should be "dove"

She tried to struggle to her hooves and no doubt launch herself at me again, but I took that as a sign and opportunity to kick her her quite hard in the side.

"her" is duplicated

. I turned and did my best to met the yellow pegasus glare with my own without looking her in the eyes.

"met" should be "meet"
"pegasus" should be "pegasus's"

With another scream of rage from the PPP and and a sigh from me, the twit pounced me again.

"and" is duplicated

The yellow one I couldn't quite figure out a nickname for gasped and darted glaring at me to her friends side.

"friends" should be "friend's"

A wizards staff is not the strongest tool in a wizards arsenal, but it is the most flexible.

"wizards" should be "wizard's"

A quenching of flames so that they wont burn...

"wont" should be "won't"

An more interesting and less draining alternative was however, redirection.

"An" should be "A"

I’d already raised my staff. gathered the energy and…

That period should probably be a comma.

but she looked a bit green at having been tumbled around in the air like that.

Double space between "but" and "she"

Your decent, I’ll grant you that…

"Your" Should be "You are" or "You're"

but I recognize an copy of the alicorn amulet when I see it.

"an" should be "a"

The amulet blinked red once. Seemingly satisfied with my response.

Period should probably be a comma

“if that thing is what I think it is,

"if" should be capitalized

Still, I kinda had something off an alias to default to.

"off" should be "of"

I doubted I’d even be able to do any of the more odder things on the ‘absolutely never do this’ list anytime soon, but killing?

"More odder" I am pretty sure is wrong, period. I think Stranger is the correct term, but there might be a way to correct is closer to as is.

She hit the what looked like the front door of a three of all things with a loud crash.

"the" as the third word shouldn't be there.
"three" should be "tree"

I didn't wait for the comply, I just started walking up to the still mare.

"the" probably should be "them to"

I stopped and extended a single finger towards a random mare. One of the morons from earlier that had wiped the whole town into a panic.

The period probably should be a semicolon ' ; '
"wiped" should be "whipped"

“Isn't this the part where you try to hit me first, while still somehow acting as if you're the moral victor in the whole mess?”

"the" near the end should probably be "this"

The stallions eyes flickered over towards the quite literal tree house.

"stallions" should be "stallion's"

Hopefully that helps.

Well done! One of the best stories from this new fad.

Taken by the T-Rex

Damn, my sides hurt.
I would never have predicted this.

It wasn't that scary, but it had a wonderful atmosphere and a really nice wizard duel that frankly still held up to today's standards.

I remember movie was quite light-hearted and with many comedic reliefs.

between what seemed a shriveled hand and eye

Blasted Eternal Champions littering with their bodyparts everywhere...

simple golden ring on a equally simple chain

You need unshorn fetlocks to wear this. :pinkiecrazy:

Rune of Torment on what looked like real skin

What can change the nature of brony?



Ponyville altercations are marvelous. Perfect balance of jerkness from both sides. Also very Dresdeny...

That last line. That fucking last line.

Ooohhh, man. This is going to be good. :rainbowkiss:

You've got Harry down pat. Keep up the excellent work serrah!


Honest answer? Probably, but I honesty don't know. I'm writing this almost completely as I go along. I've got couple of beats I intend to hit and a vague idea on how I want to end this.

That's it. That's the reason the chapters for this has been coming so fast as well. I'm basically just having Björn stumble through Equestria and having everypony react to that.

It's honestly rather exciting and fun to write. I'm glad everybody seem to enjoy it so far as well.

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It's only a model.


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Keep in mind. Björn was flung across time and space, warped into the likeness of a fictional character, attacked because his way way to stop himself from going splat fucked up RD's work... and he still used gust of wind twice and a shield before resorting to that kick.

I was frankly worried that people would think he was being unnaturally saint like in only escalating as much as he did!


Thank you for the kind words!

And oops. Thanks for pointing it out. I though about it, and I'm actually leaving the hands part as is. There's going to be a part in the next chapter were Björn realizes he screwed up and it could have cost him his life against a serious opponent instead. Should be a bit more interesting and give him a few 'anti-Sue' point.

Keep in mind, this isn't Harry Harry. The different swears is something I've done to set him apart a bit. Björn will experiment with that kind of stuff, though.

You are absolutely correct about that joke however. I literally forgot to write out that part. :twilightblush: Consider it fixed.



Twilight would have actually whooped Björn/Harry's ass if she hadn't underestimated him so badly. Even holding his feet and arms would have done it.

Then again, that happens disturbingly often to Harry... :trollestia:


“Isn't this the part where you try to hit me first, while still somehow acting as if you're the moral victor in the whole mess?”
"the" near the end should probably be "this"

Replaced whole with 'resulting',

I doubted I’d even be able to do any of the more odder things on the ‘absolutely never do this’ list anytime soon, but killing?
"More odder" I am pretty sure is wrong, period. I think Stranger is the correct term, but there might be a way to correct is closer to as is.

Changed to 'exotic.'

Other then those, noting to add except fixed. Thanks a whole bunch. I got a bit too eager with posting this chapter it seems.


'Sadly' lost to some fixes.

But I'll admit, that's quite the number to end up at.



Doa! I thought it was suddenly too easy to spell! :raritydespair: Fixed.

Other then that, glad your enjoying it! :raritywink:

And The Raven really is a forgotten classic. A shame so few seem to have seen it.

Well, I actually only reviewed the third (second?) chapter, since I had just read it. Not the kind of story I want to let die if avoidable, after all.
May look at earlier chapters again. Similar issues there as well.


:raritydespair: I thought I'd cough them all this time.

Please do if you have the time.

3996797 Even in that context, however, the kick when she was down and the crotch-shot could be considered dickish. I'd say that they might have even been necessary, but being dickish out of necessity does not (technically) prevent it from being dickish.

For additional insight on my point of view:
If you went back in time to kick Hitler in the crotch, it would be dickish simply because it's a crotch-shot. We'd applaud you, knight you, or give you a Nobel Peace Prize for it, but it would still be dickish.

As a side note, the Nobel Peace Prize was included in the list only for completeness. You can get a Nobel Peace Prize for not killing people anymore or making campaign promises (keeping promises not required).

3996797 Well her getting mad to the point where she tries to hurt or even kill someone seems to be a thing in these stories, so you might as well.

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