Horse Feathers - A tale from the Humans Acting Villainous verse

by Lord Of Dorkness

Chapter 6 - Sticks And Stones? Bah, Amateurs....

I’ll freely admit it, I am enough of an arsehole when pushed that I woke with a smile on my face after that ‘dream.’ I’d personally lost track of how ‘deep’ we’d gone, but man had it been cathartic to see Luna slowly go furiously cross-eyed trying to keep an eye on me.

My content moment didn’t quite last though, since the whole room had this acidic and ozone-y smell to it, and that wasn’t even counting the jagged bit of amethyst that had crawled under my back.

Still, I thought as I grumbled to my feet and out of the bed, it had been a productive night if not a restful one.

I continued to think it over as I grabbed the small bag of supplies and headed for the bathroom. As an afterthought I also emptied out my duster and grabbed my clothes. Might not be quite a full dry-clean, but in my experience a bit of soap and water was at least better than nothing.

On the positive side of things, I’d gotten quite a bit of information between the lines… but on the other hand it had mostly made it painfully clear how limited my lay of the land currently was.

I’d gotten a verbal OK on me being here… but I’d hardly call it a red-carpet. Granted, I got why, but it still irritated me deeply that three random idiots apparently held such sway in these lands.

And then there was Luna…

As I got into the shower and started trying to get rid of the rougher edges the hike had given me, I still couldn’t quite stop a grimace.

Granted, that last bit was helped quite nicely along by the mass of black, purple and yellows my ribs had started looking like. Yeah, something hitting you fast enough you hear bones creak? More or less guaranteed to leave a mark.

Still, I had both a rather decent pain-threshold beforehand, and quite a few new mental tricks I’d gotten in the ‘Harry’ makeover to deal with that well enough to focus on my main distraction.

How had such a spoiled foul-tempered twit gotten ahold of that level of power? ‘Know thyself’ jokes aside, how she’d just reached into my room and presumably all but flicked my defenses aside had me a bit on edge. From what Black had told me about the subject and the near reverence in his tone I doubt he himself had noticed I was fairly certain I could expect near every damn thing associated with the Night to be Luna’s talent…

I had to pause mid lathering as that thought sank in. Just how in all things good and evil do you get a talent in that? Did she start with a knack for stargazing and work herself up, or something? Did she have a cousin that does a Jack Frost thing but with shadows, and stumbled into an internship?

With a grunt I reached for my loofa as I forced the thought aside to the ever-growing mountain of ‘check later’ and instead concentrated on getting clean.

Call me cynical, but I was fairly certain the words “I’m not evul, I swear!” would go over slightly better without the woodsman’s beard and slight hint of rancid sweat.

Cleanliness may or may not be next to godliness, but first impressions are still quite potent stuff... and given how my luck had been so far on that front I wanted every damned edge I could get.

I gave myself an extra round with the overpriced body-scrub I’d brought. Now, roses weren’t quite my thing normally (I prefer lilies) but who has ever heard of the dread wizard going: “Yes! And I shall rule zer world… but smelling like vanilla?! How vulgar! What manner of Evil Genius conquers zer world smelling like vanilla?! Minion! Bring me… zer rose-water! Zer rose-water… of EVIL! Bwahahahaha!”

It doesn’t count if you joke about it!

Anyway, I thought it might give me a slight advantage at least. I wasn’t quite certain how much more important the sense in question was for ponies, but given how Applejack and Rarity had started their investigation by literally sniffing around my campsite I had a suspicion my nose wasn’t very impressive by local standards.

I’d thrown my clothes —minus the duster that I’d simply had hung in hope the humidity would help a bit, since I’d forgotten to get the proper stuff for cleaning leather— into a soak in the sink, and I have to admit I winced slightly when I stepped out of the shower. Given that the water had turned black I frankly thought it a minor miracle I’d been taken serious by a single person yesterday.

Still, nothing to do but roll up my sleeves and get to work; at least if I wanted a clean pair of actual ones.

I had to empty the water three times, but with that and a bit of wringing I finally had something I’d actually consider wearing… even if I had to admit I was rather glad for the summer of this place. I made a mental note to inquire about a tailor’s services as I hung the things…

Before turning back towards the sink, and the bit I’d been least looking forward to.

So I took a deep breath, leaned forward…

And I still flinched slightly as my hand swept the fog on the mirror away, and a stranger stared back.

He wasn’t bad looking by any stretch, but he had too many sharp angles and —despite the paleness his long trek had barely put a dent in— a bit too ‘dark’ looking to be conventionally attractive. It was probably the hair and beard a brown so dark it was nearly black in part that gave that impression… but it was mostly the deep scowl and two dark eyes set so hard that they seemed to nearly be trying to shatter the mirror by just staring at it.

The stranger leaned in and used a slightly trembling hand to gently pry apart the lids over his left eye…

An eye that was still a familiar green to the man’s barely withheld relief… but even if the eyes themselves looked familiar, they’d dropped quite a few shades down in color. As if somebody had taken a few spoonfuls of darkness and just poured it into h- my eyes.

I let out a slow breath I hadn’t even realizing I’d been holding, as my mirror image continued to mimic me.

I guess I must have gotten more rattled than I thought, because I nearly jumped out of my skin as somebody knocked on my bathroom door. I almost had a simple shield ready when Black spoke up. “You in there, Harry?”

I let out a breath… and the power I’d drawn in on reflex. “Please don’t sneak up on me like that, Black.”

Judging from what a careful voice Black spoke in next, he’d noticed the small shift in magic at least. “...Just what almost happened?”

“Me throwing up a shield across the door,” I said with barely withheld irritation. “Come on, I’m a bit twitchy, not cruel and stupid.”

Black let out an awkward laugh that fooled nobody. “...Sorry, Mr. Dresden, but you impressed a dragon with fire yesterday and… Yeah.” He let out a small cough into his hoof from the sound of things, before continuing. “...I’m sorry; my mind just went a few dark places on sensing that magic.”

Have to admit, my irritation melted away at hearing that. “Fine, I’m sorry if I scared you. Just give me a few minutes to finish up, ‘kay? I’ve only got this beard left to fix.”

I got my new bag of personal hygiene stuff and got to work. The hair kit I’d brought had a few too many types of brushes, combs and scissors for my own preferences, but the thing at least came with an old fashioned straight-razor and one of those small brushes for making lather I don’t know the name off.

I got to work as Black plumped down outside the door.

“...What is that horrible smell?” Black asked after a few moments.

“Luna plays hard-ball,” I explained as I carefully scraped my chin clean, “so it’s probably what’s left of my dream-catcher you smell. Just open a window if it bothers you.”

“...What exactly is a ‘dream-catcher?’”

“Small charm that stops ni- bad dreams. It seemed worth a shot when she pulled the ‘you’re not getting away that easy’ card when I pinched myself awake, but as you can see it didn’t work.”

My guide let out a small whistle. “Darn, didn’t think it go that far…”

I hesitated with the knife to my throat in a moment I damn well hoped wasn’t fate trying to tell me something. “...We need to talk about something.”

“...Yes?”

I took a deep breath and put the razor down. “I glossed over something yesterday because I thought it done and over with… but Luna didn’t, to be blunt.”

“...And that would be…?” Black asked in a careful voice.

I just went for broke. “Short version? I all but landed on three morons and had to give them bloody noses to get them to back off. I frankly thought it done and over with, but it’s the reason I came walking into Canterlot.” I just barely stopped myself from gritting my teeth. “And apparently those three morons had connections, and Luna is a bit peeved at the foreign wizard who thumped three acquaintances of hers over the head.”

I felt a slight hope as Black actually winced at those words in what at least sounded like sympathy. “...Well, buck. No offence, Harry, but if you drag me to any gambling dens I don’t think I’m betting on you.”

Had to admit, that got a small chuckle out of me. “Anyway, the important bit is that a certain powerful mare is rather understandably if annoyingly cranky at me, and I basically got told she understood the nasty circumstances… but if she sees my name or mug on as much as a littering ticket she’ll make my life a lot more complicated. Just thought you deserved to know. I seriously doubt anything long-term would come of being the poor bastard that just got hired to be a guide... but I understand if you don’t want to deal with politics and just cut your losses.”

“No offence, Harry…” Black said in a soft voice after a long pause. “...but a few bloody noses don’t sound like something Luna would fix in person.”

I let out a tired sigh as a pang of guilt flashed through me. “I didn’t get many details… but one of my assailants apparently broke her wings badly enough she won’t be flying again anytime soon.”

Black softly went urk with enough conviction I was fairly certain he’d turned a bit green just from the tone of it, but I pressed on. “Wasn’t intentional, but Luna wanted to make sure that…” I was at a loss for words for a few moments while the crunch from my dreams replayed itself in my mind’s ears. “...Well, that it wasn’t intentional, to be blunt.”

“...Was it?” Black asked softly, just like that.

I shuddered so hard some shaving foam went flying. “No!”

“...I’m sorry, Harry, but pegasi wings are rather durable. How exactly did that happen unintentionally?”

My eyes drifted to my force rings, currently just lying by the sink. “You know those rings I’ve got?”

Black let out a hum in confirmation.

“They somehow had a full charge,” I said somberly, “but I thought they were near empty…” Despite how warm the small bathroom was I still shivered again. “What should have been a shove accidentally became a hay-maker, basically.”

“Nasty business…” Black told me in a neutral voice.

“Yeah…”

“...Why didn’t you just stun them?”

I jerked slightly at the simple question.

Black apparently didn’t like how I hesitated from how stern his voice became next. “Harry, I want an answer to that question.”

I decided to just go with it, even if I felt deeply embarrassed and truth be told, more than a bit ashamed. “...Because the only non-lethal spell I really have once in combat is gusts of wind and… Yeah, that doesn’t work that well against people that can, you know, fly.” I absently ran both hands through my still damp hair, trying to keep myself calm. “Something of a blind spot in my bag of tricks I fully intend to fix, but… Well, I don’t have a time-machine.” Something I hadn’t thought of suddenly crystallized for me, making me wince. “That I huffed and puffed a bit after that probably didn’t help, come to think about it.”

“...Huffed and puffed?”

I absently waved him off, despite Black not being able to see it. “Reference to a folktale. Anyway, I kinda played up the ‘big bad wizard’ angle to get them to back off, but they must have thought I was being utterly serious…”

“Ah,” Black said neutrally, “I guess that might have done it…”

“Yeah, not one of my proudest moments… but I’d gotten jumped moments after falling from the sky, and wasn’t actually in the most generous of moods to be blunt. Besides, I tried to walk away even, but the girls dragged me back.”

“...Really?”

I let out an irritated grunt in acknowledgment. “Ever been held up by your legs with telekinesis? I was being quite literal about the dragged part.” I felt my pulse spike and forced myself to take a few slow, even breaths. “And somehow it is my fault, just because Luna dearest apparently takes tea with the twits every odd Tuesday, or whatever.”

I took how Black actually winced at the venom in my words as a subtle hint I needed to calm down further. “Look,” I said, running my hands through my hair again, “I realize this is sudden, but I just want to make sure you get the full picture. You want to walk away, and I won’t stop you.”

I heard Black shift his weight around as he thought it over. “...How complicated are we talking?”

I couldn’t quite stop a sigh of irritation. “The threat was more or less that I won’t be just walking away if another scene like that happens… even if she and her sister have to take a small sabbatical to drag me to their dungeons in person.”

I let out a weary chuckle as that information made Black make a shocking sounding little gasp. “Yeah… I fully intend to avoid that happening… but you don’t chose getting mugged, or whatever, and I sadly have this feeling my word about stuff like that won’t be taken for quite a while.”

Black was silent for long enough I frankly started wonder if he’d walked off; I even had time to both resume and finish my shave before he spoke up again. “I want an actually written contract, including that you’ve told me this and I get to walk away if I so much as don’t like your tablemanners. We clear?”

I winced a bit as I started putting my stuff away, but I had the feeling that this was the best deal I’d get. “Fair enough given the unfortunate circumstances. Anything else?”

To his credit, Black actually thought it over for a few moments. Time which I took advantage of to start struggle into my damp clothes. “I’m sorry, Harry, you seem like a really decent guy, but I need to ask this…”

The comment stung rather deep, but I got it.

“...What exactly are you planning with FB? I’m sorry, but…”

If the last one had stung, then the current question was the equivalent to a knife in the kidneys. I let out a slow sigh and massaged my temples with one hand. “Black, I swear I thought the mess in Ponyville was done and over with. I just spotted a chance concerned these extra shiny rocks I’d stumbled across; that’s the beginning and end of it.” A small thing from yesterday bubbled up in my mind, and I jumped at it. “You said you’ve dabbled despite it being rare among non-unicorns, right? Wouldn’t you jump at a chance to actually talk shop with somebody that takes your skills and talents seriously?”

Interestingly enough, I actually heard how Black tensed. “...What are you implying?”

I threw my duster over my shoulder and walked out, leaving the hygiene stuff in the bathroom. I strode past Black and sunk down on the sofa.

I’d expected suspicion, perhaps even outright hostility...

I did not know what to feel about Black quite clearly… checking me out. “Well, somebody cleans up nicely…”

I felt my cheeks heat by quite a bit. “...Sorry, I’m flattered and I have to admit I’m not quite certain how to feel about sapient ponies galloping about everywhere around here yet… but I’m straight.”

Surprisingly, a stallion sighing and muttering something about “Figures…” didn’t exactly banish the blush I was sporting. Black fluttered over to the other end of the coach, while I pretended to not notice how his eyes lingered on my still damp t-shirt.

“Anyway…” I said, trying to steer things into a slightly less disturbing direction. I pointed to my staff and other magical gear that was still lying in a small if neat heap on the floor. “Does that look like the kind of stuff a species slash country where magic is common would need?”

Black tore his eyes away to stare at my… well, other stuff. “...You did mention you got lucky.”

I couldn’t quite stop a weary chuckle. “Guess how many mages I’d met before coming here.”

Black bit his lip as he thought it over. “...I don’t know, a couple of hundred? You’ve told me magic is rare where you're from, but I don’t actually know enough to even do a proper guess…”

I held up a single finger with a somber expression.

Black just sat still for a few moments… then his eyes near plopped out of their sockets.

I chuckled slightly, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “You understand now why I’m willing to put up with quite a bit of bullshit to learn what’s basically a dead art where I’m from?”

Black frowned a bit, but it seemed he was mostly mentally reeling against trying to grasp what he’d just heard. “...Just for the record, that’s a bit speciesist.”

“Oh?” I said in genuine interest. “A sapient bovine species around here?”

Black nodded, but it seemed he was lost in his own little world at the moment. I let him sit and think it over.

“...Just how do you deal with the weather?” he asked after nearly a quarter of an hour had passed.

“I beg your pardon?”

That small counter question actually made Black focus on me again. “The weather. How do you deal with the weather?”

I shrugged, not really getting the question. “I think there’s something I’m missing here, Black.”

The stallion just gave me a long look as if he was talking with a… well, foal, I guess. “The weather. What do you do with it?”

I leaned my head back against the wall while I thought it over, but I kept just blanking. “...Really not getting what you’re trying to ask, Black. Are you talking about weather-forecast, or something?” That actually made me perk my metaphorical ears. “You’ve got… what, weather scryers instead, or similar?”

Black sucked in a slow breath. “...How do you control the weather?”

That? Now that made me sit up a bit straighter, and I just had to give my guide a look. “No fooling with the foreigner? You guys actually do that?”

I took how Black looked a bit faint as confirmation enough. “You guys let the weather run wild?!”

I tried to wave it off… “If it’s cold, you dress warmly. If a storms coming, you bunker down…”

Judging from the rather uncomfortable (and a bit creepy, to be honest) sight of a pony going bug-eyed… well, it didn’t work. “We’ve got this thing called ‘cloud-seeding’ that can make it rain during the right circumstances,” I explained, “but it’s rather expensive and not something you do very often. That’s more or less it.”

Black frowned slightly as he thought it over. “...Because that… cabal of nag-mounters, or whatever you want to call those so-called ‘mages’ around your parts, charge a premium for it?”

I let out a small chuckle before explaining. “Nah, it’s some type of chemical you spray on the clouds.” I scratched at my now clean-shaven chin as I thought it over. “A pity I don’t know the specifics on that one or it might have been a decent enough peace-offering to give Luna, come to think about it.”

Black frankly looked as if I’d claimed that the secret to immortality is to belch loudly into the faces of strangers once a day, or something. “Wait, what? A non-magical way to make it rain? OK, now I know you’re pulling my leg.”

I jabbed my fingertips together as demonstration. “It’s this powder that somehow causes the clouds to congregate into actual droplets. It’s complicated, expensive and time-consuming, but it’s good for clear skies during sporting events and similar.” I let out an irritated sigh. “Sadly I don’t know the formula, so you’re going to have to take my word for it.”

Black’s wings kept twitching as he thought my words over. “...Do you think that would work on a cloud city?” he finally asked in a low voice.

I had to do a double take at that. “You guys have what?”

I got another ‘oh right, he’s completely fresh of the boat’ look before Black just shrugged and explained. “We pegasi have weather magic.” He snapped the prongs on his wings almost like fingers, and to my surprise a small zap of lightning actually danced between the ‘fingers’ for a few moments. “You remember how I mentioned cloud-beds last night? Like that, but entire buildings.”

I leaned my head back and thought it over from a human perspective. This chemical you could spray and make entire cities just melt away…

I shivered slightly as the connection actually formed. Ye gods and little fishes, no wonder Black had seemed a bit put off by the concept. Given how the average city-slicker panics at a lengthy blackout I wasn’t certain I wanted to know how quickly the casualties would mount if a city melter was ever developed.

“Yeah…” I said in a slow and carefully voice. “Perhaps it’s just as well I don’t know that formula in that case.” I let out a small laugh as a thought came over me. I held up my hands and gave Black a wide-eyed and innocent looking face. “I’m not evul, Luna! I swear! Oh, and here’s a weapon of mass property destruction to prove it!”

Despite how freaked out he was, Black couldn't quite stop a nervous couple of giggles from forcing themselves out. “Yeah, I don’t think that would have gone over well!"

Despite the humor in the moment, I still had to wince a bit. “Yeah, but I think it’s becoming clearer and clearer I need a bit of the basics about how near everything works around here.” I leaned down and started sorting out what I should be leaving behind and taking with me. I froze with my hand over my gun. “...Just what are the local laws about firearms?”

A spark of recognition lit as Black’s eyes widened a bit. “...Damn, that’s what that is?” My guide lowered his voice and put a hoof to his mouth before continuing. “Try to keep it quiet, but there really aren’t any laws about them around here.”

I blanched slightly. “What?!”

Black pointed a hoof meaningfully towards the floor and hushed me before continuing in the same quiet voice. “Because the gryphons keep such a tight leash on their monopoly there really isn’t a point.”

I massaged my temples again as I thought the revelation over. So on one hand I had two weapons so rare they were all but unknown on these shores, and as a result wouldn’t need to worry about concealed carry laws or similar…

But on the other, that meant I had two bits of what just might be a black-marketer's wet-dream just sitting quietly in my rented room.

A groan forced its way out of me. “Freakin’ fantastic, another source of headaches…”

Well, I might have an attitude against authority figures… but the citizens of this town hadn’t done anything to earn my ire, and I’d frankly rather not risk anything.

I turned to my guide. “You think they’ll be safe here, or should I just carry them around until I can arrange a safety-deposit box, or something?”

Black hesitated, but I got a slow nod. “I’d put up the no-service sign just to be sure, but shouldn’t be a problem. Rose is a solid gal and runs a tight ship.”

I suddenly got an idea looking at my duster. “...Hey, the reason shadow gems are frowned on is because they help in… well, shady stuff?”

Black tilted his head at me in a rather equine looking fashion, if with an equally human looking frown of puzzlement on. “...Sure?”

Now, thanks to me blowing up those poor bugs earlier the whole room was a bit murky. There was a rather decently sized window, but that still left quite a few pools of shadows around…

I fished around in my hat until I felt my hand close around the strangely cold shadow onyx. I took a moment to wave towards the door. “Might want to take a step out, just in case.”

I got a raised eyebrow for that one. “...Why?”

I started shuffling over all the weapons and their ammo into a neat pile by the sofa, while stuffing the rest of my gear into their various pockets. “Because I’ve never used one of these magical gems as a focus before, and just in case the thing I’m intending to try blows the thing up in my hand…”

Black stuck his tongue out in a grimace.

I shrugged slightly, while beginning to working out in my head just what I wanted to do. “Yeah, a reason I’m going for the shadow gem instead of the fire one.” I made a grimace. “And especially the water one.”

Black froze halfway to the door with one leg in the air, before turning and giving me a puzzled look. “...OK, I get the fire one...”

I made another face. “Water is a force of entropy and change, as well as rejuvenation and life.” I mimed using a pair of scissors with my free hand. “That, and enough water pressure will cut steel like a knife through clay. Trust me; water is one of those forces that turn nasty if you lose control with enough of it.”

I rolled my eyes as my guide mostly kept giving me a doubting look. “Black, you’re thinking calm lakes and bubbling brooks, while I’m talking slow dripping wearing down mountains… or the tsunami that washes them away.” The city-boy in question still didn’t seem convinced, but I mostly mentally shrugged and moved on. “Anyway, the point was that I’m in no great hurry to expand my horizons in that field unless an opportunity presents itself; the line between safe but useless, compared to dangerous but useful is just way too fuzzy for my taste.”

I took the opportunity while Black frowned and thought it over to continue working out the new spell I was working on.

“...If you're so worried about… collateral I guess for lack of a better word…”

“Why the fascination with fire?” I finished for him.

Black gave me a rather hard nod.

“I got a curriculum, you could call it. Not all of it pleasant… but them’s the breaks.” My mind drifted back to the amulet, currently safe (if fuming) in my pocket. Would I actually have picked her up, had I known the price and reward of it? I honestly couldn’t answer that at the moment. “I could learn all of it... or none of it, basically. One of the few strings attached, and I can’t say I mind it that much.”

Black frowned for a few moments. “You’re not getting away that easy, Harry. Fine, nice try, but why did your teacher insist on that level of fire magic, then?”

Bugger. Really thought I might have gotten out of having this conversation...

I sat back for a moment, thinking over how to phrase my explanation in a way that didn’t involve me sounding like a madman that got an insanely rare mixed blessing. “Slightest chance I could just say the mundane utility of it makes it worth the hassle, and leave it at that…?”

Black gave me a slow shake with his shoulders set hard, and his lips a line.

“Fine.” Sadly, I actually knew a why. “I’ve got an answer for that… but you won’t like it.”

“Try me.”

“Fear.” I turned my head and looked him in the eye for just a moment. Not long enough for a soulgaze, but long enough to get my point across. “Even most of the foulest and most corrupt things get a bit scared when the burst of flame go flying.”

I felt a unfamiliarly familiar tingle, and forced my gaze away from the wide-eyed stallion. Damn, so I actually had that crap? Oh well…

“Not very nice, I know,” I continued in an even lecture to lessen the impact a bit, “but fire is also a purifying force. Fire doesn’t care if you're a virgin nun that reads bedtime stories to orphans all day, or a dark lord that eats the souls of kittens like snacks; fire just burns. That and how it also illuminates makes it one of the more potent forces for pure combat since many of the nastier types of critters draws strength from darkness, be it tactically or literally”

Even with my back turned, the silence was near deafening for a few moments. “...Look,” I said in a kind voice after some contemplation, “I hope to expand my horizons and become better than that, but at the moment I’m basically a…” I had to stop for a few moments as a rather decent wave of irritation swept over me, tying my tongue up for a bit. “...I want to say ‘battle-mage that knows a few extra tricks’ but I fear that’s a bit too grandiose. Remember how I said I didn’t exactly get much choice regarding master? I’d like to believe I’ve set out on the road to greatness and that mostly good things will flow from it… but it sadly started with learning a few knife-fighting tricks in a dark alley, metaphorically speaking.”

I kept it mostly internally, but a wave of irritation flashed over me. Again, it could have been a great artisan or something, but no…

I shook my head to clear it. That particular trip down memory-lane had too much blood in it for my current tastes. Good riddance to it all.

“...I have to admit, Harry,” Black said in a slow and carefully voice, “I’m not really seeing why you respect that teacher of yours. At all.”

I chuckled a bit dryly at that. “I did say I have every intention of kneeing him in the groin on principle, right?”

“...Still, even so.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking over how much I wanted to tell…

But fuck it. Black had been a decent sort so far, and I didn’t see much reason to hide anything so basic from him. “...Any secrets or techniques lost to time around here? Some alloy with nice properties, some text of philosophy, a spell that does something really impressive… Something so big and outrightly wondrous, that its rediscovery would send splashes all around the world. Anything of that nature?”

I heard the ruffling as Black presumably scratched his head. “...What, like how the Elements resurfaced in the nick of time a few years ago?”

I looked back over my shoulder with one eyebrow raised. “...Elements?”

I swear, Black’s jaw all but dislocated and landed by his hooves.

I did my best to tilt my head, but the awkward angle didn’t help. “...Not the classical five, by any chance? Or the eastern ones?”

Black went a bit cross eyed. “Five?!”

I put the shadow gem down on the floor and started counting on my fingers. “In western philosophy it was for a long time held that all things are made up of the five elements. Water for all things cold and wet; earth for all things wet but dry; air for things wet but hot; fire for things dry but hot; and finally Aether for the divine or magic, where in all the other elements exist in balance.” I thought it over for a moment, but I sadly had to simply shrug. “I know the eastern system uses fire, water, earth, metal and wood in its most common configuration, but I sadly don’t know the justification for that one by heart.” I picked up the gem and held it over my shoulder. “Not true on the purely physical level, of course… but then again darkness is supposedly only the lack of light and yet I’m holding this beauty. Things get interestingly fluid the moment magic enters the picture.”

I flicked the gem onto the floor, noting with interest it actually left a black trail momentarily in the air.

The room was silent for so long I actually wondered if Black had left, but I hadn’t heard the door open. So I scooted around, only to see Black with his jaw still near the floor, and this look of utter bafflement on his face.

I sat there with my legs and arms crossed, and gave him a level look. “We’re not actually having the same conversation, are we?”

That actually snapped Black out of it, making him massage his temples with both hooves. “...The Elements of Harmony are the physical manifestation of the friendship between pon- people, and the strongest force we have for good.”

I eyed Black for a few moments, but from how calmly he met my gaze (even if his tale was lashing quite a bit) it seemed I was not having my leg pulled. Instead, it seemed shockingly enough as I was being elucidated on the local belief system. “I see.” I barely managed in a level voice.

Black seemed slightly irritated with my… well, utter bafflement to be blunt, but he took a deep breath and continued on at a steady lecture. “They are Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter and Honesty, and when they come together they create Magic, the greatest of the Elements. And as long as you keep those in mind and try to live by them, you will never lose that spark.”

I continued my attempt to find any sign of being messed with, but Black just glared me down. “...So your telling me… that friendship is magic?”

Black let out a slow breath, as if talking with somebody slow and trying to keep his temper in check. “Yes,” he deadpanned.

“And we’re talking magic magic, as in actual magic,” I continued with my hands extended in front of me as if holding something, trying to wrap my head around the whole thing, “not some wishy-washy philosophy thingamajig where it’s all this clever metaphor for the proper use of power only the wisest or most intoxicated of ponies would ever dream up…?”

Black let out another slow breath but through the side of his mouth this time, making his ashen mane dance around a bit. “Yes,” he continued still at a deadpan, “friendship is indeed, magic magic.”

I resisted the rather unconstructive part of myself that simply wanted to lay down, roll around and laugh hysterically until I ran out of breath. Instead, I leaned my head back and actually thought it over.

At least that line about Honesty explained a bit about why Luna had shown rather atypical tolerance for my anti-authoritarian streak. If honesty really was some type of guiding virtue in these parts, it would go rather far in explaining just why I hadn’t woken up by an entire squad of her finest knocking down my door after all the lip I’d given her.

But still, magic being friendship manifested? It was… odd, I’ll grant the philosophy that.

Magic. One of the most potent forces in existence.

Something that can sunder mountains, tear the sky in two, bridge the gap between very worlds, call forth beings of such terrible purity and foulness that the ground quakes in their presence.

A tool of such wonder and ruin that many thought it sacrilege for any but the gods to even attempt to wield it

The one thing that can conquer death itself…

And that force, was apparently friendship.

I couldn’t quite stop a small chuckle, but I had this goofy grin on so I don’t think it quite counted. “Heh, that has to be the sweetest and corniest thing I’ve ever heard….”

I flinched slightly as one of those small pillows from my bed bounced of my head just as I looked down.

I spread my hand and fed some power into the shield bracelet as the next twelve came whistling. “Come on, Black. It’s a nice enough sentiment, but you have to admit it is rather corny.”

Black just let out a snort and redoubled his efforts, but I was more interested in how he was throwing those balls. Just like how I’d seen there appearing a pale nimbus whenever Rarity, Luna or Twi had cast a spell, so it was for Black as he pelted my thin shield with ball after ball. The only big difference was that Black’s blue nimbus was around his wings, instead of a horn.

I let out a low hum of interest as Black got fancy and nabbed a ball mid bounce. “That’s the levitation thing the unicorns seem so fond of?”

Black actually lost his concentration and blinked at me; the seven balls he had in the air dropping to the ground as the aura winked out. “Come on!” he said, jabbing a hoof at me. “I can understand cloudwalking, because that spell is a nag and a half to cast… but are you really telling me you don’t know how to levitate something?!”

I let out a snort of my own as I let my shield fall. “Actually, I know a levitation spell… but last time I used it near a pegasus she went from cerulean to green.” I mimed throwing a punch. “...And then her two other friends jumped me.”

Black blinked sheepishly at me. “Oh.”

I tilted my head as my eyes lingered on one of the balls. “...If I show you it, could you tell me just what’s so bothersome? It’s a longshot, but I might just be able to lessen or even eliminate… whatever it is.”

My guide hesitated for a moment, before shrugging. “Fine.”

I reached over and grabbed my blasting rod, before pointing it at one of the balls. “Veni Che.”

Slowly, since I hadn’t put that much magic into the spell, the ball rose into the air on a cushion of winds until it rested at pony eye height.

The effect on Black was sadly much quicker. I dispelled the small spell as quickly as I could, but not before his wings shot outstretched, and a gagging sound wretched itself out of Black’s throat.

I winced slightly and made sure to drop my rod. “...That bad?”

Black forced himself to swallow something I wasn’t quite certain I wanted to know about, and gave me a nod while looking pale.

I pointed with my rod towards the bathroom. “You go get some water; I’ll wait.”

As Black stumbled into the bathroom, I leaned my head back and thought it over. Dammit all, of all schools of magic, it had to be the one I’m decently comfortable using without invocations. On the other hand, the whole thing basically having a side effect of making pegasi nauseous might be a bonus in a fight, but that didn’t exactly help with any non-combat applications.

Black came stumbling out of the bathroom on shaky legs and gave me a slight glare. “I’m going to be honest, Harry. I now get why three ponies tried to buck you in the face.”

I smiled bitterly at him with my hand resting against the side of my head. “Wanna guess what school of evocation I know the most non-combat stuff in?”

Black made a face again, but he quickly got his expression under control. “...That’s a fancy word for combat magic, or something?”

I raised my other hand and made a so-so gesture. “The calling and directing of forces, so kind of, but not only that type of stuff.”

My guide tilted his head and thought it over. “...Like how being able to make a ton of even temporary sulphuric acid appear is the type of stuff certain industries will pay a premium for, but quite a few are going to wonder just what you have in the basement?”

I have to admit, I had to make a small grimace at that cheery mental image. “I’d gone with how easy getting a cooking fire going is when you can just snap your fingers for it, but sure.” I tilted my head. “...There are really ponies with acid conjuring as a special talent?”

A rustling sound filled the air as Black shrugged his wings. “More along the vein of unicorns with chemistry or alchemy cutie marks their magic aids in, but you get the gist. I was just exaggerating for dramatic effect.”

“...So the one ton of acid from nowhere example would be… what, one of those industry big-leagues that can more or less demand their own wage?”

“...Sure, why not?” Black fidgeted slightly. “But can we please stop talking about acid from nowhere? It’s making me uncomfortable.”

“Fine, fine,” I said, before pointing at the ball I’d tried levitated. “So, just what’s —if you pardon the pun— up with pegasi and my wind spells?”

I took how Black had to steel himself slightly at the memory as a bad sign. “Look, it’s more complicated than that and you’ll find any of the three tribes represented in nearly all professions nowadays, but historically there’s been something of a divide in certain skills…”

I flared my hands and mimed flapping them near my shoulders. “Not many earth ponies doing weather or in the fashion industry, that kind of thing?”

Black blinked at me. “Actually, the fashion industry is nearly dominated by earth ponies. What gave you that idea?”

I did a double take on that. “...Really?” I scratched my chin as I thought it over. “Have to admit, I just assumed since unicorns have their horns, and you pegasi have those strangely dexterous wings of yours, that any earth pony with just hooves would be at a severe disadvantage in any industry requiring something as fiddly as needlework…”

“Getting to it…” Black flared his wings for emphasis. “Anyway, we pegasi have our wings and the connection to the weather and sky, the unicorns have the best control and overt magic, and earth ponies gets a slew of minor but rather nifty boosts through their connection with the… well, I won’t insult your intelligence with that last one.”

I chuckled softly as I made mental note of all the information I was getting. “...So, farming, weather control and anything magic related. That’s the traditional divide around here?”

“Very simplified way to look at it, but sure…” Black tilted his head at me. “So how does it work in your world?”

I had to lean back a bit as that bombshell burst open. “...Figured it out, huh?”

Black pointed out the window. “No offence, but Equestria is kinda a big deal on this globe. I could have maybe swallowed if a sea serpent or mer-pony that had somehow dragged their way this far inland were this clueless, but not anybody that actually walked in through the gates.”

So Equestria was, or its inhabitants at least thought so themselves, a superpower? Lovely, even more complications…

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose for a few moments. “...Sorry about the half-truths, but where I’m from claiming you’re from another world is a sure way to get sanctioned to a mental hospital. That and… well, I had three rather looming reasons I didn’t think that claim would end well.”

“So what really happened?” Black said in a even if firm voice.

I waved him off. “Replace the word ‘teleport’ with ‘freaky one way gate thingy’ in what I told you yesterday. That’s it.”

I felt a pang of irritation as Black gave me a disbelieving look. “This big black hole opened up, and when I came out I was a couple of kilometers up.” I jerked my head towards the ball I’d levitated before. “Wanna guess how I needed to slow my descent as to not splat?”

Black took one long look at the ball, then at me… and shivered so badly I swear I saw a few feathers drift away.

“Care to tell me just what’s so bad…?”

Black took a few moments to collect his thoughts. “...Look, I consider myself a well-traveled stallion, and I’ve been in a few places you frankly void your life-insurance for entering. Even done a trip or two into the Everfree.” He pointed a hoof towards the ball. “The thing is, that this is Canterlot. The weather around here is so whipped in line you don’t even get a draft without paying a weather-tech to set it up. And that? That felt just like wild weather, just with the added creeptacular bonus of something clearly guiding it.”

I tried to think up how to put it in my own terms. “...So, basically like just sitting by a campfire all nice and cozy… and suddenly the flames form a face and it winks at you? There about in creep factor?”

Black gave me a long look. “...What is it with you and fire?”

“What? It’s a highly useful and pretty element with many practical applications... and the slight downside that it will eat your face if you aren’t careful and treat it with the respect such forces deserve. Using fire metaphors when talking about magic makes perfect sense.”

Black grumbled a bit, but it seemed as if he didn’t exactly have a counter.

We were however somewhat distracted by what seemed to be a localized earthquake.

I put a hand on the black hole I’d barely noticed in my stomach and let out a small wince. “Perhaps we should postpone further philosophizing until after I’ve had chance to what passes for Equestrian cuisine?”

Black gave the small satchel charge in my tummy a funny look.

I waved him off as I struggled to my feet. “I don’t have quite as crazy a broad diet as dragons seems to have, and we humans are rubbish at cellulose… but if nothing else fruit should be fine short-term at least, if that’s what you're looking worried about.”

Black tilted his quite a bit less worried mug at me. “...Cellulose?”

“Leaves, grass… That type of green stuff, if it matters.” I explained as I changed my mind and hoisted the Winchester onto my back. “Oh, and on second thought let’s actually find something with a lock for this bad-boy.”

My guide thought it over while I refilled my pockets, but he seemingly lost his train of thought as I started rifling through my bed. “...Why were you sleeping with your gems?”

“It’s called crystal healing,” I explained. “Short version, gems have a power slash energy to them. Amethyst against bad dreams, diamonds for purity… stuff like that. It’s a bit too pricey for me to have tried it before, but given the dream assault I was under yesterday I thought it was worth a try…”

Black let out a small snort, but I was distracted. I reached down, to right about where I’d been resting the night before…

And my hand came up with what had been an amethyst almost the size of my fingers. The thing had turned black and cracked, as if somebody had tried roasting it in an oven or something. In fact, the only reason I even recognized it as an amethyst at all was a few spots of the gem’s original color near the edges.

I gave it an experimental poke, only for half the thing to collapse into black dust at my touch. I just had to let out a small whistle. “Damn, that Luna girl plays hardball. I didn’t even know you could burn gems out like this.”

“Yes, Princess Luna is indeed, quite strong…” Black corrected me rather tartly. “It’s almost as if she’s an alicorn, or something.”

I paused with my index finger mid-tap on the ruined gem; my thoughts about what use these ‘ruined’ gems might be put disrupted for now. “...Seriously? Is ‘winged unicorn’ really so big a mouthful misusing another term becomes needed?”

Black blinked at me for a few moments until it clicked. “...Oh, you mean the horn thing? Think it’s supposed to be symbolic or something, but you’d need to ask a historian.”

“Just seems intellectually lazy to me,” I continued as I finished up gathering my stuff. “That, and isn’t it rather insulting to have the paragons of your species name-associated with anatomy unique to one tribe?”

Black grumbled a bit in that ‘I absolutely agree, but it isn’t politically correct to say that outloud’ way, so I dropped the subject as we headed out.

My personal misgivings about a chef that doesn’t wear pants aside, Rose did indeed seem to be quite a decent breakfast cook. As a bonus the young gryphoness was quite understanding about the whole ‘no hay thing.’

A bowl of rice porridge with lots of sugar and cinnamon later, and I felt vaguely human again.

Two, and I’d go so far as call myself capable of civilized interaction without grunting and pointing.

Three? Well, by then I most certainly had learned a very valuable lesson about casting on a empty stomach.

By the fourth both Black and Rose were giving me funny looks hard enough I had to put my spoon down and give the slightly worried looking gryphon a smile. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

Rose chuckled and balanced on her hind legs as she collected the plate. “No problem, kid.” The gryphoness raised an eyebrow my way as she hobbled away with the dishes. “Special occasion, or should I scream and put up the ‘closed’ sign next time I see one of you guys…?”

I made a grimace as I reached for the surest sign yet this wasn’t a hell dimension. “Took an accidental short-cut through what must have been cockatrice nesting grounds, or something.”

Rose nearly dropped the plate as her whole body jerked in shock, but she got it under control and hurried off.

I inhaled the cup of coffee and let out a sigh of bliss before continuing. “Had to do quite a bit of spell slinging to get the things to back off, yes.”

Black who’d gone with something rather grisly looking things called ‘hay fries’ and a cup of his own, paused mid sip with a frown. “...Harry, cockatrices are magic eaters. I’m not calling you a liar, or anything, but...”

I blanked for a moment as a few things suddenly clicked hard enough to make me face palm. “Oh, so that’s why the things kept popping up like a freakin’ conga-line…” I let out a snort as I poured myself a second cup. “Still, most of them got the hint with a single whiff of flame; there were just a lot of the disturbing things.”

Black winced slightly and put his cup down.

I pointedly extended an index finger and pointed to the side of him. “Come on, I’m not heartless.” I let the ‘hammer’ drop for emphasis. “But if it’s eat or be eaten, I’m frankly not holding back; especially not against an animal you can’t reason with.”

I hid a sigh with another sip of coffee as Black’s fidgeting told me quite clearly how uncomfortable he was with fire in a combat style. “How about this?” I said in a kind voice as I put down the cup. “First book one of those ‘magic management’ things so I won’t cause any more bug splattering, second whatever goes for ‘the big-book of sub-lethal combat,’ or whatever it’s called. Deal? “

Black paused for a moment. “...Don’t you mean non-lethal?”

I was just about to say ‘no such thing’ when it occurred to me that there might actually be such a thing with freakin’ magic in the picture. “Let’s just call it a small cultural difference and move on, shall we?”

“Come on,” Black said rather firmly, “I’ve listened so far, right? Just tell me.”

This time I didn’t hide the sigh. “Accidents happen even with the best of intentions. That’s it.”

Black raised an eyebrow and made air-quotes of all things at me. “‘Accidents?’”

I rolled my eyes. “You stun somebody, but they fall head-first on a rock, or the poor bastard swells in just the wrong way after being held down and stops breathing. That kind of stuff.” Even I had to make a grimace by now. “Can we please move on and switch subjects? I’m all for acknowledging that there is more to magic than pretty lights and shiny wonders, but this is getting depressing.”

It seemed Black wasn’t very happy with my answers, but at least he dropped it.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, just sipping our cups. Aside from the still rather surreal part about doing it with a pegasus in an inn owned by a gryphoness… Rather restful, actually.

Just calm and relaxing…

Nothing wrong, what-so-ever.

“...Harry, why are you frowning like that?”

I forced myself to lower my shoulders and stop glaring into the shadows. “Sorry,” I apologized, “it’s just been one of those weeks where everything turns sideways as soon as it goes quiet.”

“So…” Black said with an innocent smile on, “you’re telling me that it’s too qu-”

I shushed him with a glare. “Please, don’t tempt fate like that.”

Black just chuckled while I all but expected a horde of undead rats to burst out of the walls, or whatever.

I had to rest my head in my hands as I actually got genuinely surprised when no screaming started up. “Ye gods, do I need to unwind…”

“...So,” Black said in a kind voice, “what’s the plan?”

I raised my head and just blinked at the stallion for a few moments. “...Plan?”

Black just looked at me over his cup, as if the union of village idiots had just rejected my application for being too overqualified for the position.

I suddenly felt very, very, very stupid. So stupid in fact, that the only response I had was to lean my head back with a goofy grin and laugh bitterly at myself. “...Having one of those would be kind of a bonus, huh?”

Black’s hoof met his forehead with a soft pat.

I leaned my head further back as I thought things over; something I frankly should have done days ago. Granted, involuntarily dimensional travel and being haunted by monsters are a decent distraction… but still, I had to admit I felt worthy of quite the dunce-cap at the moment.

So… Phenomenal cosmic power. Without the itty-bitty living space thingamajig bother, at that.

The power of wonder and ruin in my grasp, without needing to carry around a silly looking lead-pipe with a handle.

And I was in a land of such potential and power that its local libraries hold grimoires, with near all its myriad roads and paths laid open before me.

Now freaking what do I actually do with all that potential?

I’d considered myself a scholar (or at least, a would-be one) for years, so the concept of delving into a new field of knowledge was nearly enough on its own to make me giddy. That field being magic? ‘Doubly so’ frankly didn’t give the near euphoria I’d been riding even nearly justice…

But that was somewhat the problem. I’d so far been reacting to circumstances, not dictating my own path. I didn’t like to admit it, but I’d more or less been flip-flopping between ‘OH MY GOD! MAGIC IS REAL! SQUEE!’, ‘Wow, this place is weird!’ and ‘How dare that prismatic prick cause me this much trouble with the fight she started?”

I’m no shrink, but ping-ponging between Awe, Fury and Tourist like some type of steroid using opium-den diver with a cellar fetish? Didn’t sound healthy long-term, and it most certainly wasn’t what I’d call a decent motivation.

I was momentarily distracted by another soft pat from my guide’s side of the table. “Oh Harmony, you weren’t kidding…”

I hushed him without even opening my eyes. “Please, I’m thinking. Let the poor hamster run without interruptions despite how squeaky the wheel may be, ‘kay?”

Black bit back a snort and went back to his coffee, letting me continue.

Long term it was rather obvious. Find a way home, preferably a two-way one, and avoid any complications that might interrupt my studies.

But short and medium-term?

Did it matter if I only manage to find another one-way trip? Three idiots and one misguided fool aside, I’d already met some nifty people on these shores, and Equestria itself was simply beautiful. A bit dangerous perhaps, but a place of wonders and great things, nonetheless.

My store, family and my friends aside, I didn’t have what I’d call many things calling me back on Earth. Not anything I’d consider important compared to what I might gain here, anyway. Sure, I was already missing Peter, Mark and David, and how I’d been cast dimensionally adrift without a chance of saying goodbye was one of the big reasons why I planned to knee a certain smirking wizard in the groin one day…

But compared to having gained magic? Hell, I knew the gang would understand… As long as they didn’t think I had gone loony, that is.

I consider myself a seeker of knowledge… and what is magic, but knowing how to use that knowledge to seek even more? To know things with such certainty, that reality itself bows to that insight?

My hand sought its own path to my face. It wasn’t an eye… but surely having found my own well of Mimer was worth the sacrifice of not recognizing my reflection for a while?

Granted, that same knowledge might just allow me have the metaphorical cake and eat it too… Transmutation may be advanced magic according to what I know… but that knowledge had already proven itself faulty. For all I actually know on the subject I might be able to dance between shapes with a bit of practice now that I had magic.

Including changing back my face.

...But did I want that? The face I had right now wasn’t a bad one, it just wasn’t the one I was used to. Did I really want to use that much time and effort just to see my crow’s feet again? Especially when this one was how everypony I’ve actually met in this place I might be stuck knows me under?

Everypony…

A thought came over as I drummed my fingers against my lap. “Hey, Black?”

“Yes?”

“Just what type of shapeshifting magic does this place have?”

Something hot and sticky hit me in the face, making me yelp and fall backwards. On near autopilot I rolled quickly to my side to get away from whatever had just attacked me.

I thrust the arm up, spread the fingers of the hand with my shield-bracelet and willed forth a half-dome of force.

I didn’t even register the scent of coffee near filling my nostrils until after I was halfway done wiping the stuff out of my eyes with my other hand.

As Black spluttered, Rose came running along as well, but she stopped as she saw my shield.

Slightly reluctantly I lowered my hand and let the shield dissipate. “...You’re getting any air, Black?”

The stallion looked a bit pale and was still coughing a bit, but he gave me a shaky nod.

I forced myself to lower my arm and the shield despite how my heart was sitting in my throat. I did however need to take quite a few deep breaths before I could sit up again. “Let me guess…” I said sardonically. “I just asked about what’s considered one of the nasty ones, right?”

I got a few mixed signals as Black wouldn't look me in the eye, but still took the time to throw me a few paper towels. I fought down a grumble about being clean for a whole hour or so, and instead wiped myself off while Black fidgeted.

“...No, personal hang-up,” he finally said after a minute or two of having his eyes glued to the floor. “Oh, and sorry.”

“No problem, no harm done,” I grumbled out.

Black took a deep breath. “There was an… invasion here a few years back. You’ve heard about changelings, yet?”

I shook my head. “I heard the name by the gates, but nothing else.”

To my surprise, Black actually had to rest his head in his hooves and center himself slightly. “...Emotional eating shapeshifters. They tried to grab the town a few years ago and…” We were early enough that it was only me, Black and Rose in the small dining room… but I still had a feeling Black’s gulp would have been heard even if it had been dinner-time. “...I’m sorry, I… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Me and Rose shared a look, before I got to my feet.

She hurried over to me on clicking claws as I went over to the nearest waste-bin to dispose of the towels.

Wordlessly, I nodded towards Black.

I took how the gryphoness winced and wringed her talons as a bad sign. “...I don’t know any details… but my aunt used to run this place two years ago, if you get the hint. She made it out, but…” Rose let out a breath that whistled slightly through her beak. “Let’s say she’s retired, went back to Prance and don’t want to talk about why, OK?”

I ignored the horrible geography pun, and opted instead to give the still form of Black a long look. The dude had given me the impression of being a tough bastard. He was hardly the first guide I’d ever hired, and I’d gotten the drift that he was one of those that will take you near everywhere. Well, anywhere as long as there were enough zeros on the check, that is…

I forced myself to look away. One of those tough-guys just shy of hyperventilating with his head in his hooves? Yeah, a bit sad and distressing.

So just what had rattled him this badly? “So, what’s a changeling?” I whispered to Rose.

I took it as a really bad sign when the gryphoness shivered, and had near every hair and feather stand on end. “These black hairless ponies with bug-wings, creepy eyes and holes everywhere.” Rose held her claws with two talons pointing down next to her beak, miming snarling at me with ‘fangs’ bared. “Don’t know the details on how or why, but they apparently eat love of all darn things.” Rose let her claws drop to the floor again as she gave one of those ruffling shrugs with her wings. “Big state-wedding, invasion… you do the math.” She lowered her voice and gave the now almost collected Black a small nod; with eyes filled with enough compassion and worry it frankly looked slightly out of place on somebody with so many predatory features. “Heard they grabbed some folks and stuck ‘em into these creepy cocoons for who knows what reason. Might be what happened to poor Blackie over there.”

I let out a low hum as I thought it over. They most certainly didn’t sound like the changelings I knew of from folklore (or for that matter, the Dresden Files), I could say that much.

Black’s voice made me turn around. “Look, I’ve just got a phobia, ‘kay?” he said between clenched teeth and with closed eyes; his whole body shivering slightly. “I got… grabbed, and I’ve… I just can't talk about changelings, please?”

I gave a slow nod; mostly to myself since I don’t think Black was in a state of mind to notice it. It had never happened to me with anything supernatural… but when a monster drags you into a dark alley? It just isn’t quite the same person that crawls out, even if you manage that feat.

I fought down a shiver despite the heat of my duster, and stomped hard on the memories trying to well up. The bad ol’ days were gone and good riddance to ‘em.

The sound of a fire-alarm broke us out of it. Rose let out a squawk that would have been rather humorous in any other situation and hurried to the kitchen.

Both Rose and Black twitched as I used a quick gust of wind to grab my staff. “Wait here for as long as you can,” I ordered my guide with a meaningful look towards the Winchester. From the face he made it seemed he liked it almost as much as my bit of air magic, but to Black’s credit he just scowled and sat down again.

I had to do a double take on entering the kitchen. Aside from the (admittedly, only to me) fun-size scale of the whole thing it just looked so… modern. Steel, chrome and ceramic... that type of stuff. Hell, if it wasn’t for the ‘pyreflies’ lights on the ceiling and how none of the appliances seemed to have cords? It might as well have been a scale-model of a kitchen from back on Earth

It seemed the kitchen was understaffed, because aside from a rather scrawny gryphon with the same grey colors as Rose but male and much younger, and an older earth pony in a chef’s hat plus coat, the place was empty.

I got out of the way as the younger gryphon raced out with a slightly panicked expression, but I had to admit I didn’t feel very worried. The chef —a rather distinguished looking fellow with mustard yellow mane, a carefully waxed mustache, a canary yellow coat and a frying pan with an egg in it as his cutie mark— seemed to have the small blaze under control.

Given that my nose prickled with the smell of burned bacon I could imagine what had happened. It seemed the distraction from Black’s spit-take had dragged Rose off mid cooking the main breakfast, and the oil on one of those flat cooking tops had heated to flashpoint.

I took a few more steps to the side and leaned against one of the walls as to not be in the way. I kept my staff primed at the ready… but in truth, the pair seemed to have things under-control with fire blankets…

Right up until the young but eager idiot came back with the bucket of water.

The chef saw the youngster first, but it was too late. He didn’t even shout a warning, he just dove like a ma- stallion half his age and pulled Rose down onto the floor as the idiot threw the water onto the burning oil.

With a whoosh I almost felt more than heard, the small and almost under control fire practically exploded.

I thrust my hand out before they had even come to a complete stop and formed a shield around the pair. “Don’t just stand there!” I snarled at the wide-gaping young idiot. “Run and go get the fire department!”

The youngster barely spared the two stunned people on the floor a second glance, before darting off as… well, his tail was on fire. Not quite literally so, but most certainly singed at least.

I tilted the shield so Rose and the chef could scramble out, but both of them seemed transfixed of the sight of the big splosh of fire pouring down onto the floor from the glowing dome of my shield. I had to admit, the color of golden-orange was a rather poor fit for the situation, but not as if I had much control over that.

“Rose!” My voice seemingly broke her out of it, and the gryphoness stared wide-eyed in the direction of my voice. I jerked my head toward the door. “Get out, I can’t do anything to the flames while you're that close!”

The two just sat there like lemons, seemingly stunned from the shock of not having had their faces burned off.

I swore under my breath and feed enough power into the shield it would last a few moments. It was a gamble I would have preferred not to make, but as long as I deal with the flames the mental state of the two became for the moment immaterial.

A half-dozen or so alternatives flickered through my mind as I raised my staff; trying to figure out how to solve this.

Ice? I had quite a bit of knowledge concerning ice spells, but I had no idea how those spells would react without a certain mantle of power I’d frankly been damn glad I seemingly lacked even a facsimile of. That and even without the near suicidal tempting of fate even risking drawing the eye of The Queen of Air and Darkness would be… well, when you are staring into the blaze is not the time for experiments.

Water? Yeah, I kinda know what that would do already. Theoretically I could just conjure lots of it and drench the place… but that would probably cause more property damage than just letting the stove burn out.

Air? It did have the advantage that I’d actually tried that school of spells out, and just might be able to improvise something. I however doubted Rose would like that choice, and even a potentially irate half-ton flying predator aside there was a possibility I’d just spread or fan the flames by mistake.

I couldn’t quite stop a fierce grin as it just clicked, however.

Not only did I know what might be the perfect spell, but I’d already used it several times.

“Ignus! Ignus, infusarius!”

A gasp came from my unwilling audience… and the flipping doorway. The latter of which I sadly recognized, and had to fight down a snarl on hearing.

I ignored both, and spread my arms wide as the flames roared in defiance at me; like things both alive and possessed.

I had not anticipated an actual resistance… but it was a hollow thing. The flames roared and spluttered as something deep in their very nature raged at me and how I was depriving it of its feast…

But in the end, it was only flames; a chemical reaction, and little more. Even with magic in the picture it was just this snarling thing without a will or drive of its own beyond consuming until nothing to eat remained.

A slight smell of singed wood was added to the symphony of smoke, as the runes on my staff lit with inner flames… but they were my flames. The unnaturally golden-orange flames fueled by my passion for learning, my fury at having been wronged, my desire for bettering myself, and even my rage and hatred I’d so carefully buried and bound behind entire mountains of chains; all held within a brazier forged of Will and Defiance I had forged bit by bit, piece by piece, over decades of fighting against my innermost demons.

Even before I had gained magic, such flames might have burned my flesh, seared my skin, consumed my heart, and turned my very bones to ash…

But they would never have claimed Me.

But I was no longer just that bookstore owner with a past he didn’t like talking about. For good or ill, wonder or ruin, I had become a Magi. A wizard. One of the Wise, to whom nature, spirits and the very forces of creation and unmaking are but tools.

One day I would not only be able to put my hand into an inferno without burning.

One day, I would be able to thrust my hand into even such flames and have them scream at my touch.

And there was no way in any Heaven, Hell, or the multitude of twisted places lost Between I would let a bit of grease and heat make me bow.

The day might not be today, tomorrow, or even within what would have been a natural lifetime… but I Knew in my heart of hearts, that the flame I’d nurtured there would not be put-out by this waste of bacon; that if the two met, my flame would emerge the stronger.

In the end, working with natural fire turned out to be both easier and harder than conjured flames. Easier, because I could just concentrate on warping and binding the forces already at play. Harder, because the flames had a wildness to them that needed to be fought and stomped out at every step.

On the whole, though? It actually averaged out to being about the same, funnily enough. Against the unrelenting force of my will and magic, even that primal hunger was no equal.

It started humbly… but then again, does not many things? These tiny flickers of flame flowing toward my free hand; so small they might as well have been random embers. But those embers become ribbons, the ribbons became ropes, and the ropes turned to a roaring vortex of flames; , as the inferno roared towards a spot above my open palm as if drawn there by a black hole.

All within a minute or so that still felt like a small lifetime, the blaze was no more. Aside from the smoke still lingering, there wasn’t as much as a ember left on the charred stove. Hell, there wasn’t as much as a heat-haze.

I couldn’t quite stop a happy chuckle at that, and the small dot of roaring White I held above my palm. “Oh man, do I love this magic stuff…”

I turned, ignoring the three idiots, the yellow slightly less idiotic idiot… and sadly, Lady Rarity and Lady Applejack, as they stood slack-jawed in the doorway. I guess I should have seen the common hints between ‘local magical badass named Twi’ and ‘our friend that knows a lot about magic Twilight’ earlier… but in my defense, I’ve had quite a bit on my mind lately.

It seemed the ‘amazing flying Technicolor idiot’ had been moments from launching herself at me. Again. From behind. Again. Probably all but certain she’d get away with it, thanks to her connections. Again…

Yes, I am bitter and I don’t like people playing favorites. Sue me.

To my slight delight, Applejack had proven as quick witted as I’d pegged her as. The thought of the taste of the unwashed brute’s tail made me near gag, but Applejack had snagged just that with her mouth to hold the PPP from jumping me. There really was no way of knowing for me if she’d done it because she had doubts about my ‘dreaded-ness,’ or just the common sense of not disturbing a wizard mid-spell when you’re under the same roof as him… but still, clever girl, that one.

Aside from two things there really wasn’t anything of substance to add about the group, aside from how ludicrous the lot looked when doing a fly-trap impression.

For one, they were all carrying these giant bits of bling. Gold enough to buy a small town on each of them forged into necklaces (except on Twilight, who had a tiara of all darn things) and studded with rocks that would have made me drool last week had I not been so desensitized with just gems lately.

Except I had a sneaking suspicion I’d heard the artifacts name mentioned just an hour or two ago. Not only was there something about the gems and how they looked just like the girls’, ugh, cutie marks that made my skin crawl… but magic also rolled of them all in waves. A pulse of power of such breadth and scope it was more of a thrum in the background magic of the freakin’ world itself.

Frankly, I was only distracted from the sight by what a sorry one Twilight looked at the moment. Now, I’m (sadly) no stranger to violence, but the way she’d been near covered in bandages made even me wince. Her wings, her horn, a splint for her foreleg… If it weren’t for the clear pained and tense quality to her movements, I would have frankly believed her an hour or so away from committing insurance-fraud and bad acting.

“One moment,” I told the stunned mares, making them tense. I just lifted my hand and showed them the mini-inferno. “Unless you want me to fudge the dispelling and disposal of this spell up…?”

As a single mare, the other five turned to look at Twilight… only to balk nearly as badly on seeing her looking uncertain, as they had at seeing me fix a kitchen-fire by lifting it up with one hand and carrying it away.

I rolled my eyes at them, and turned to the other pair in the room. “Rose?”

I wasn’t certain if I should be insulted or flattered as the half-ton predator in question flinched slightly at being addressed by me.

The mental stress of holding that much fire made it hard, but I forced what might have been passable as a kind smile and voice. “I need a glass jar with a lid, some salt and a place that won’t burn if I screw this up.”

She did so shaking slightly and seemingly having to force herself from arms of the stallion I would have bet my pile of diamonds against tap-water was more to her than just a cook… but to Rose’s credit she sprang into action. It took her only moments to literally fly to one of the cupboards… only to hesitate and look back. “H-h-how m-m-much s-s-salt?”

I frowned at that. “It doesn’t have to be salt.” The sudden mental lurch in having to explain made the fire flare slightly, but I got it under control before it could even singe my hand. “Anything will do, as long as it leaves a stain and can be poured.”

Rose frowned deeply at that, but to her credit she didn’t question the scowling wizard in her pantry with a whole kitchen-fire in his hand. Rather clever, that.

“However,” I continued in a near mechanical voice as my focus was elsewhere, “salt would be ideal if you can spare about half a kilo.”

Near everybody in the room spluttered as one. “What?!”

Even with the fire in my hand, I just had to roll my eyes. “I’m not going to freakin’ eat it, it’s a material component.” This time, the flare did reach my hand. I bit back a wince as the skin reddened a bit, but it seemed I’d reclaimed control before it had time to do worse than if I’d tried to grab a too hot cup of coffee… This time, at least. “Now. Please?” I finished through gritted teeth, not taking my eyes of the fire.

‘Colonel Mustard’, seemingly spurred finally into action by that discomfort I was now showing, got unto his hooves and galloped over to what seemed to be the only cupboard in the place with a lock. To my and everybody else's surprise he didn’t even go for a key. Instead, he just turned so quick he skidded slightly on the tiles and bucked the damn door of its hinges.

Let me rephrase that, the elderly stallion kicked the steel door of its industrial hinges on the first try. Yup, definitely not going hand to hoof with any earth ponies if I can help it.

“Quality?” he barked at me in a gravelly voice, and a dialect I didn’t quite recognize.

“As long as it’s pure.” I frowned at my concentration being split like this; something that was quite a bit more taxing than the info jammed into my head had quite prepared me for. “No seasonings, or stuff like that.”

The stallion frowned at that, but he barely hesitated as he stuck a small wooden keg under his foreleg. He beckoned me to follow with his other, before rising and hobbling towards a backdoor.

I stumbled after myself, barely enough concentration leftover to do that and hold my staff.

By the time we (with a certain gryphoness following closely behind, so nervous and puffed up, poor Rose almost looked like a giant tribble) made it into the small courtyard, I was sweating bullets. And not dingy little .22s either, but those decimeter long monsters filled with nitro instead of powder they used to hunt elephants with I can’t remember the actual caliber of.

It wasn’t so much a garden, as these furrows and furrows of plants in long planting-boxes. I wasn’t sure if the place was self-sufficient with veggies, especially not with a clientele mostly made up from creatures with cultural delusions of being herbivores...but frankly? It looked as if whoever tended these crops had done a decent go at being just that. There were tomatoes the size of my fist clinging to plants you needed a stool to pick ‘em from, cucumbers large enough to be phallic even by local standards, cabbages you could have (briefly) played football with…

Heck, there was even a small decorative fountain in the center. No more than a meter or so in diameter and about as tall, but it even had a centerpiece that looked as if it was made from real marble. A white, ‘crying’ mare with a flowing mane, holding an urn on her shoulder water poured endlessly out of and into the basin. Wasn’t original by any stretch, but certain looks just doesn’t have to be.

Normally, I’d appreciate such a splash of green, colors and tranquility somewhere so urban…

But right now all my attention was focused on the small stone patio in the corner. It seemed to be a private resting slash dining place for the staff. Nothing more than a pair of wooden lounge-chairs and a few cushions, but it seemed a relaxing enough place.

Wordlessly I made a sweeping motion with my staff, and luckily for my fraying concentration both Rose and Colonel Mustard got the hint immediately and started clearing the stuff away.

I took the few moments to lean against the nearby wall, and shore up my mental defenses a bit. As far as magic went this wasn’t that complicated… but it was taxing. I might have beaten the flames into submission, but they still hungered and for the moment they got that fuel from my magic.

Technically, I could have just gone over and dipped the whole thing into the fountain… but I wanted to show six certain mares just what they were continually poking in the side.

I gave a nod of thanks as the last bit of furniture passed of the patio. It felt a bit like trying to juggle and ride a unicycle at the same time, but I just barely managed a “Vento servitas” through clenched teeth; sweeping the stone clean in a quick burst of wind and winces from everypony with wings nearby.

No longer needing it for the moment, I just let my staff fall among the greens. I stumbled forward and grabbed the keg and jar, carefully but unceremoniously dumping them in the middle of the stone. “Move,” I ordered the two, pointing towards the rest of the crowd. “Should work, but if this goes boom it goes boom.”

That was the problem with compressing all that energy like I had. Sure, I’d taken a kitchen-fire and turned it into something I could hold over one hand… but that just meant it had gone from a big problem I couldn’t move, to a small but potentially explosive problem I could move.

Even magic have trade-offs like that. Sure, you can all but negate the laws of physics if you really must… but it’s just so much easier to bend the problem until whatever you’re trying to do will fit into that framework.

I put the keg between my feet and yanked the lid off with my free hand. I took a moment to check what seemed like normal if rather fine sea-salt flakes, before shrugging and getting to work.

I had to fight down a chuckle as a certain cook winced out-loud at me pouring out the stuff… but hopefully he’d be able to salvage at least part of it all afterwards.

That wince was nothing however, to the near wall of sound produced at the gasps as my circle closed. I for my part only took a second or so of breathing a sigh of relief as the outside magic abruptly cut off.

Canterlot was a fine city, but magically speaking? Guess it might just have been me being unused to it all, but all that magic in those massive ley lines focused smack-dab here wasn’t that unlike trying to work, sleep or concentrate in a room full of spinning dryers filled with bells. Hardly impossible, but man did it feel comforting to know I had the magical version of ear-muffs nearby.

I rummaged around in my duster for my crayon collection. Most of them were traditional chalk, but ‘luckily’ I’d brought a single small pack of permanent markers; just in case I’d needed to make any last minute signs or something for DorkCon.

That made me pause my scribbling on the inside of the jar. Dammit all, but all that sure didn’t feel just a few days ago…

Something my pocket watch; my old, battered, needs to be wound once a month, and yet had been dead when I checked it that first camp, pocket watch had seemingly confirmed.

Just how damn long had I been floating in that void?

The fire, which I’d left floating under my mental control a bit over my shoulder, roared into sudden life as my concentration slipped.

With a irritated grunt and an effort of will I reasserted control. I might have quite a few question marks needing straightening, but now was not the time for distractions.

The marking on the jar for what I planned wasn’t complicated… but for safety and redundancy there needed to be many of them. That, and I’d rather not have the second best thing to a magical fire-bomb going off just because clumsy hooves smudged a few lines, so the marks needed to be on the inside.

Still, as the whore once told the contortionist: it wasn’t complicated, just fiddly.

I noticed in the corner of my eye how Black had joined in on the crowd. Although ‘joined’ was a bad word for it. ‘Put on a spot and interrogated’ was probably better words for it. Still, there was nothing I could do to help without letting this fire go boom, and to Twilight’s credit she’d apparently ordered the rest to keep an eye on me while she calmly talked things over with her fellow pony…

Yeah, I’m not bitter at all.

Still, I shrugged my shoulders and sank down; sitting so I’d be able to keep concentrating slightly more easily. The mass of ponies twitched slightly at my sudden movement, but not enough to distract me.

The task was made easier by the circle. Not only did it keep out any stray magic that might distract or interfere, but I’d had enough salt to make the thing both big and even, increasing its efficiency. A circle doesn’t have to be… well, circular, but the further from that form you make it, the more weak points you add.

That efficiency was further reinforced by the use of the salt. Salt is, magically and symbolically, a very important and potent substance. Look back not that many years (historically speaking) and salt used to be more expensive and valuable than silver for the same weight. Not only is it one of, if not the easiest and quickest way to preserve food, but it is efficient at it as well.

In an age before refrigerators, freezers and modern shipping? Getting enough salt through the trade lanes was the difference between living to see spring… or have to fight, scrape and beg, as your entire village starved during the winter.

That importance? That amount of power in something so small and insignificant? That raw potential to keep so much food fresh and so many bellies full even during the harshest of winters? Over the centuries, that turned salt into a near unprecedented symbol of life and purity. There are things so crooked and bent that not even a cross in the hands of a true saint will be any more than an irritant to them... but even most of those things will at least flinch if salt is thrown at them.

I try not to dabble in it myself, but only a fool questions the raw power of faith. And salt? Salt was something almost beyond faith, symbolically speaking.

If fire is the great consumer and transmuter man tamed into a spear to claim the world, than salt was the grand shield we coaxed from the ever-hungry sea and unyielding rock themselves to guard that bounty.

A wellspring of wealth empires have risen and fallen for want or lack of.

A Guard that has shielded us unflinchingly from the force of Famine itself.

And yes, it even makes popcorn taste even better.

It is a force of freaking nature. Perhaps not as potent as say, Love, Death or Rock & Roll, but a potent force nonetheless.

Not bad for the union of a poisonous gas and a metal that burst into flames at the slightest provocation, yes?

For the rather minor stuff I was doing the smooth two-meter circle made from salt and nearly a finger across? Frankly, it was like sitting in a three star Michelin kitchen and making soft-boiled eggs.

I spared a glance towards the six that so clearly screamed ‘chosen champions and their pet rocks,’ before returning to my task.

Or more precisely, it was like sitting in a cold-war bunker when your enemies had only given you funny looks so far. But in my defense? They were mean funny looks.

Quite seriously thought, I had a feeling in my gut the six of them were wearing the ‘Bling of Destiny!©’ for a reason. Perhaps not to intentionally try to curb-stomp me, but I was nonetheless quite certain I didn’t want to take that haymaker on the chin like a chump.

<God’s Death,> I’m not even sure if this circle would hold if those things really are even a shred of Magic itself by local standards. Sure, that much salt in an almost perfect circle? It was potent stuff, but sadly it was on the high-end of the curve of improvised potent stuff.

Freaking hell, a stray gust of wind can ruin this type of circle. And that isn’t even the normal disclaimer of ‘small curious child with a rock.’ Don’t know why, but circles are really darn brittle to anything with freewill. Demon Lord and his seven legions? You can make a circle around that, and if it’s perfect enough it will take them years if not outright centuries to get out for them… but that same circle of horrors, and as much as a curious dog that smelled sulphur? Screams and hellfire.

Speaking of whom I’m fairly certain I must have dated in a previous life given my rotten luck, we started to get spectators. I’d hoped to avoid that type of crap and complications thanks to the courtyard… but this was after all a country where a third of the populace have wings. It seemed my circle had drawn quite a few curious slash worried onlookers, because I saw quite a few earth ponies and unicorns being freakin’ airlifted by their winged brothers and sisters in nudity.

Small favors, they all seemed to have enough brains to stay in the air or on the roofs… but it still had me on edge. You don’t have to be a military genius to know friendly fire isn’t, after all.

Speaking of…

With my hands only trembling slightly, I guided the flame down into the now rune covered jar and carefully screwed on the lid.

I had to let out a breath I hadn’t even felt myself holding as I felt the spell connecting me with the small fire ball faded… and the runes began glowing with a just barely noticeable light, as they fed off of and preserved the flames.

I just had to let out a small whistle as I turned and looked at my jar full of flames. “Damn, I’m good.”

“Modest, are we, Harry?” Rarity said without hesitation… but there was an edge to it I doubted had anything to do with actual humility.

I gave a shrug as I gently put down the jar. “Lady Rarity, I just stopped a kitchen-fire by picking it up and stuffing it in a jar.” I pointed a finger down at the small, fragile thing as it stood near my feet. “I believe I’m allowed a few moments of ‘smug wizard’ for that.”

Something flickered over Rarity’s face at being referred to as ‘Lady’ from me, but it was gone too quick for me to read it.

Still, I could guess, so I lifted my hands in a small gesture of surrender. “I swear I had no idea we were…” I was at a loss for words for a few moments as I glared slightly towards a worried looking Twilight. “...talking about the same ponies.” I finished lamely, if polity.

The tension to Rarity and Applejack didn’t disappear, but it did fade a few notches.

It gave me a little hope this might be solved without violence… but not much.

So I turned to my guide. “Mr. Black?”

The group and my guide tensed, the former giving the later quite clearly unveiled suspicious looks.

“Please go tell FB I have been detained,” I continued smoothly with my hands in plain view. I gave a dry look around my circle before continuing. “Just a hunch I’m not moving anytime soon.”

I shoot a withering glare towards a certain clown maned mare, making her shut her stupid mouth and gulp instead of doing whatever foolish thing she’d been about to do. “Mr. Black’s only crime has been serving as my guide. A task I hired him for to avoid any more crap like this.” I’m not certain what I almost did, but a few sparks of orange flared from the inside of the circle as I glared her down. “He will not be dragged in to this thrice-damned mess, have I been clear?”

I’m not sure if it was the swear (Since that one made quite a few within earshot twitch. Freakin’ hippies.) or my glare, but twitch the rainbow idiot did. She tried to snort and play if off, but I know I got to her.

Still, she ignored Black, who barely shot me a relieved smile before taking to the skies and darting away like he had a rocket up his butt.

I let out a small sigh of relief. With Black, and sadly more importantly the Winchester on his back nobody seemed to have recognized away, that was two headaches less for me to worry about.

“An’ what was that sigh for…?” Applejack ordered at me, once more proving who was seemingly the real brain of the operation.

No wonder I’d trounced the other four so soundly if both she and Rarity —who’d I’d bet Faberge eggs versus gravel was the specialist at finesse and diplomacy given her whole high-class lady thing— were away on business.

I just snorted at her. “What?” I mimed twirling my no-longer existing mustache. “The Dresden you’ve built up in your head’s so twisted he can’t care about collateral damage and innocents?” I ignored the flash of genuine guilt on her face, and gave a nod towards the quickly fading black dot in the sky. “Mr. Black has so far been one of the more solid guides I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to see him hurt because of this stupidity. Good enough, Miss Applejack?”

All six mares looked as if I’d just slapped them.

“Mr. Dresden,” Rarity said in a voice like ice-water, huffing herself almost twice as tall on wounded pride alone. “Care to say again what you just implied…?”

I fought down the sarcasm since I, shock upon all shocks, actually liked at least Rarity and Applejack of this bunch. “Crossfire and friendly fire happens even with the best of intentions… or for that matter aim, Lady Rarity. Can you blame me for seeing where the giant storm-clouds are a’ blowing and saving the laundry from the equally metaphorical hail?”

A frown of confusion passed over the fashionista’s lips. “...Friendly… fire?”

To my surprise, Twilight of all ponies actually explained for me. “It’s a military term.” I mean, she sounded and fidgeted as if she needed to explain how a sewage plant works to a cleanroom worker with a neat-freak streak, but she did it. “...Sometimes during a fight, you miss, and hit somepony instead of who you were aiming for. Shining explained it to me once.”

“And what difference does that make?” exclaimed, to my shock of shocks, the brash idiot with the Skittles based blood-line limit. “As long as you hit something, isn’t that good enough?”

“Because the poor bastard you actually hit doesn’t have to be an enemy, you waste of brain cells. Do it with a big enough boom, and you can accidentally wipe entire towns off the map” I ignored the shocked silence and nodded towards the power bling. “Like say, employing ancient artifacts of doom in the middle of a highly populated metropolis.”

Forget the pin. You almost heard photons bouncing around in the following silence.

Speaking of…. I gave Rose and her stallion as deep a bow as I could while sitting. “Please forgive having brought trouble to this place, it was not intentional.”

“...You actually needed that salt for the flame?” Mr. Mustard said in a tart voice, through lips you could have used as a ruler.

I made a so-so gesture with a hand and nodded at the Mighty Grudge-y Pony Rangers. “Technically not, but it does make a better circle. Sorry for the half-bluff, but given how things last went when I met four of those girls, I wanted anti-magical overkill.” I aimed my hand away from them all and sent out a tiny bit of magic towards the circle; making a multitude of sparks rain down. “Two way, anti-magical overkill. Sorry girls, but this time you’re not gonna get away with getting me in trouble for defending myself.” I leaned towards the stunned mares in question. “You lot want to sneak in that first blow again, and you’re going to have to come batter down my little wall here first.”

I couldn’t quite stop a wide smile as I slowly swept a hand over the audience.

Sadly, She-Who-Does-Not-Comb broke out of it first. “First?!” The twit nearly flew right at me, but some tiny little survival instinct must have triggered in her cavernous cranium as I gently flexed my hand.

Obviously, the one with all the force rings. Did you even have to ask?

“I wasn’t the one that used that bucking disturbing wind magic!” The twit jumped to her hind legs, arms raised for a fight and frankly giving me a pony-anatomy lesson I’d frankly rather have skipped as she started bouncing around. “You come out of that thing and say that to my face!”

I just… froze.

They thought my wind spell was the first blow? Really? Fucking really?!

Something hot and horrible rose in my chest as I nearly jumped out and obliged the twit. Still, I fought it down.

Instead, I got to my feet and started taking off my duster.

Skittles let out a snort and started bouncing around like a complete pugilism amateur again. “Yeah! Let’s see how tough you are without…!”

The entire courtyard fell silent as I got the shirt off as well.

“...your armor?” The now still twit finished in a much less confident whisper, somehow faking looking shocked enough to almost fool even me.

Since I had a crowd anyway, I gave a slow couple of turns and showed off every little splash of color on my ribs. “Yeah, slight downside to not having fur. Every damn bruise you end up with just looks oh so pleasant, do they not?”

Forget photons. You could all but hear parallel dimensions also falling silent.

“So, little girl that can go super freaking sonic,” I said in that oh so useful friendly tone of voice nobody ever finds actually friendly. The ‘the person you are talking with is rapidly moving beyond where even the burning hot fury may follow them’ tone.

I like that tone. It’s oh so useful for getting rid of idiots.

“You seem like the athletic type.” I leaned in as far to the edge of the circle as I dared and gave the now much smaller looking mare a smile that never reached my eyes. “So how about you tell me, your friends, all these oh so polite witnesses… what a bad freaking idea it is to tackle somebody so hard their fucking ribs creak?”

Forget a viral silence passing beyond the limits of space and time. I swear the temperature dropped ten degrees, as the molecules all around us suddenly got too embarrassed to vibrate properly.

I threw out my arms as wide as they’d go without breaking the circle, still smiling. “What? Don’t have anything to say to the ‘furless freak’ that ruined ‘your sky’ by falling through it screaming?”

To my surprise, quite a few glares were actually starting to crawl over to a certain cerulean pegasus that just stood there, gaping like a landlocked fish.

I held up my hand at eye level, with the back of it turned towards them and giving the entire crowd a look of my force rings. “Look? That last attack? I’ll admit it freely, I screwed up big time. I am frankly seven shades of amazed, if glad, that your friend is still alive.”

This time, the entire crowd hiccuped instead. Good.

“You want a normal thrown-down to fix your ego? Fine. You want me to come at you with all I’ve got? Fine. Suicidal, but fine. You want a honor duel, wergild, or something? Utterly outdated nonsense I don’t agree with, but fine. You want to savage both our records in this place and drag this to court? Fan-flipping-tastic-ally fine!” I jabbed my finger at her and lost control of my temper, snarling enough that strange spark thing happened again against the circle. “But I will not stand here and have you lie to my fucking face that I made the first damn blow!”

I decided on something. Something I doubt would have even come to me, had I not been in that place of calm where even my fury dared not go. Something so vile and twisted, even what little remained of Quentin, buried deep in my soul as he was, screamed and thrashed at the thought.

Fuck.

It.

All.

Sideways.

So I calmly put on my clothes again and I smiled wide. Wide, warm and genuinely, from the bottom of the cracked little thing my heart had become over the years. I poured just as much effort into that smile so wide my cheeks hurt as any spell.

Near needlessly to say, not a shred of it touched my eyes.

Every damn pony within eyesight flinched at that smile.

I tapped my foot on the fire-in-jar, almost forgotten in the, heh, heat of the moment. “You lot use those pretty little harmony rocks on the person that just saved this entire building, perhaps even all the current guests, from burning up?” I throw out my arms, this time so wide it broke the circle. I’m frankly not certain what my aura and slash or magic looked like at the moment to the unicorns… but every pony with a horn except Twilight (and her cast, if you follow) turned a few shades paler.

“You go right ahead and shoot those nifty little things at that man, a man so royally pissed at you blithering idiots that refuse to talk things over, so filled with righteous freaking indignation the ground under my fucking feet by all rights should self-ignite!” I yanked my staff out of the ground so hard this poor little daisy went flying away and up, and brained a guard in royal gold apparently there to keep an eye on things.

Let say that the royally appointed twit suddenly seemed very thankful for his new hat as I smiled his way.

Isn’t it nice, the power of a simple smile?

Since my current smile seemed to be working oh so well, I threw open my arms and smiled wide enough to show teeth.

A few of the audience quite literally fainted.

“So go ahead, and use the disharmony kryptonite on the man who’s wanted to talk things freaking over since day one!” I did not stomp closer. I walked closer. Stomping is for angry men… and I was well beyond that itty-bitty level of background irritation by now. “And I’m sure those ancient artifacts will like that oh so much!”

My mind had, as only a few times before in my life, sprouted wings. And on those frigid wings of frozen flames, I sailed; so beyond mere mortal fury that Mars himself would have paled at the sight of my innermost essence in that moment.

Ahab, which so wished he could burst his heart like a great mortar shell upon his great whale, would have been a tiny firecracker compared to my own.

There are cities that have burned because men have been less angry than I was in that moment. Vows, great and horrible, have been made to end entire bloodlines from men who thought their cold blood had been boiling, compared to me in that moment. Empires have fallen, because men have raised their clenched fists and said: ‘Enough.’ with less fury and certainty I felt in that moment.

I am fairly certain Kain himself had felt less boiling, horrible, crystal clear clarity on seeing Abel’s turned back, than I did in that moment, looking at those six girls playing with forces they barely cared to understand…

I think something bruised in my cheeks as I smiled even wider than should have been advisable.

After all, who was I, but a man that had chosen the path of enlightenment?

A man that may call the dead, the thunder, that know the True names of Dark Gods, a man that had just made a blaze sit and beg in his hand...

So in my fury I did the worst thing I could imagine doing in that moment.

“I am so very disappointed in you all, girls.”

I started to elucidate the stupid twits.

If the crowd and the girls went ‘huh?!’ at my first words... it was nothing to the dread calm that settled at my next ones.

“You lay claim to friendship, to magic itself? Please, if you were the masters of those artifacts, instead of only their keepers? You would have ascended within a freaking week.” I pointed a disinterested hand at Twilight, who’d gone very still. “Black, the fine upstanding stallion you harassed for helping me could sum it up. Well enough for a stranger from another world to understand.” I cleared my throat and quoted: “‘The Elements of Harmony are the physical manifestation of the friendship between ponies, and the strongest force we have for good. They are Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter and Honesty, and when they come together they create Magic, the greatest of the Elements. And as long as you keep those in mind and try to live by them, you will never lose that spark.’”

I turned my smile towards Twilight. “So little Miss winged unicorn who apparently has the best pet rock, how does it feel to be the winner by default?”

The wounded (now in more ways than one) mare gasped and glared at me, but it was frankly like being hissed at by a kitten.

“Do you even know the dark and horrible sides to magic? Heck, let’s not even go there, with all that means in necromancy, bindings that can force lovers to eat one another, or twisted crap like that!” Twilight practically wilted under my words, turning as pale as purple may… only to almost reach Rarity levels of white at my next words: ”Let’s just stick to all the ways friendship may turn sour!” I swept my free hand over the PPP. “Like say, almost dying because of a fight your friend started because her damned pride wouldn’t let her back down. You think the remaining friends in this sextuplet of yours would have actually continued as a five-mare band if that had happened?”

The six had been fuming and glaring at me right up to that line. Now? Now they looked uncertain.

Uncertain, and horrified straight down to their cores.

Good.

I’d made note of who’d flinched at what parts of my little Elements list, and turned to the PPP herself. “Loyalty, huh?” I put my hands to my sides and let out a theatrical little wince. “Now there’s a piece of work. Did you know, that in my world fealty to say, a princess was the second best thing to a divine calling for several hundred years? If such a man or women told you to?” I mimed slitting my throat with a extended finger. “Then it would be your royal duty as a loyal subject to slit whatever throat your liege pointed at; be they to use the local terms, stallion, mare, colt, filly or foal. To do that, or forever be a traitor to king, country and the gods themselves. It didn’t even matter if it was a good king, or even a sane king. That those horrible orders came from a royal throat? That was all that mattered.”

‘Dashie’ let out a small choking sound and her bit of bling dimmed as I finished by flicking her on the nose. “That?” I said, still in my calm smiling tone. “That is the dark side of Loyalty, and I’d bet you don’t even know enough of that force to think it over objectively; let alone say, shield the innocent from it.”

I pointed at the yellow one, who eeped at the sudden attention and tried to hide behind her own mane. “Theoretical pop-quiz from Grandpa Dresden! There has been a horrible fire and through an bureaucratic oversight, every granary in the country had been collected into one big district! The very one that is now only so much ash and cinders; including all that food! What is the kindest solution to such massive country-wide starvation that’s all but guaranteed to follow that loss? Do you beg and scrape to all the other countries, which no doubt will spin the whole thing into enough influence to all but run Equestria, if not outright march in and simply claim it? One starving village —so desperate for food that they’ll give up their fealty for full bellies without hesitation— at a time? Or do you cling to your principles, and let the people starve?”

The mares eyes was going wide, her pupils the size of pin-pricks, as she started to hyperventilate.

“And just who do you let starve first?” I continued without mercy. “The foals? They may be the future, but there won't be one at all if everypony starves, now will there? And foals simply can’t work as hard. The elderly? Well, it's hardly their fault they can’t do as much work… but that won’t stop starvation, now will it?” I spun in a happy little circle, sweeping my arms all around the mortified crowd. “Now, what to do about the bodies? Will you really throw away that much meat, when those still alive are crying from hunger? Do you really look into sweet little Cutie Pie’s eyes, and tell the innocent little filly you had food but it was more important to be kind to the dead, or do you look her into the eye and lie so she won’t know she’s slurping down granny stew just so she and Equestria will live?” I throw out my arms again. “Come on, surely the exemplar of Kindness can tell me what would be kindest thing to do in case of that one type of horrible circumstances!”

The guard from before leaned over the other side of the roof and started throwing up. He even lost his fine new hat! Now that was just a waste, wasn’t it?

Tears was streaming down her cheeks, and her voice was so low I had to almost Listen for it… but I just barely heard the yellow one say: “...I don’t know.”

I gave a slow clap, even despite myself and my fury somewhat impressed. “And in those simply words, the road to wisdom lies.” I folded my arms and my smile actually faltered to something almost kind. “But as the local expert on kindness, should you not know that actually plausible example already?”

‘Kindness’ just blinked at me for a moment. Then she fell sobbing into a heap on the dirt, utterly lost in inner turmoil.

To the mare’s extremely strained credit, ‘Loyalty’ hurried over and pulled her into a hug. Good for her.

I felt like on a roll, so I went for the hardest one next. “And fair Lady Rarity!” The mare flinched, but to my proud amusement she lifted her head and stood firm. “Generosity, huh? Good for you.”

It was quite waxen, but to the mare’s credit Rarity forced a smile my way.“...Yes, Dresden?”

“Alright, I’ve done starvation already, so here’s your sunny little thought experiment just to keep things fresh: A unicorn’s horn is a quite special thing, is it not?”

The mare forced herself to gulp, sparing only a tiny glimpse upward. “...Yes, indeed they… are.”

I tapped my own forehead. “Don’t know about this realm’s medical sciences… but in mine? We’ve got this thing called ‘organ transplants’ and it’s more or less what it sounds like on the tin.”

Twilight’s eyes near lit up, and I could all but hear how she made mental notes.

Rarity just looked slightly green, though.

“Now, to most countries credit,” I continued, “the whole donating bit of that is opt-in. And even those to whom the opposite applies, one may almost always opt-out. With me so far, Lady Rarity?”

“...Yes.”

“And then there are, of course, the horrors of when the black-marketers catch the whiff of money.”

Rarity’s cheeks bulged slightly, but she swallowed whatever it had been, and gave me a stiff nod.

“So let us say that instead of the archetypical kidney some unlucky bastard’s horn got nicked like that.” The already white unicorn paled and whimpered slightly while looking at her own horn, but I just pressed on. “Let us say that it gets found by the police, just to minimize the debate about the right or wrong of organ trade. Let us say that the horn is still safely fresh and packed away… but the poor…” I raised my hands and did air-quotes. “...’donor’ is dead. What do you do with that horn? What is the most generous thing you may do with that little bundle of wonder and potential? Do you bury it with its owner? Sure, it’s the most moral thing… but now that poor pony died totally in vain. Do let the trade go through, but make sure to collect the taxes and stuff? Well, now suddenly crime pays with all that implies in horrible precedents, so that one is out. Do you let it enter the proper channels? Well, that poor dolt might have had all sorts of horrible diseases. Or not wanted his or her body-parts to be used like that. And what of the receiver? Would they be okay with a stolen life on their conscience, no matter how much good that horn may be used for?”

A gleam of what was frankly this cute spark of hope danced in Rarity’s eyes. “That sounds more like a law-enforcement conundrum, than one that has to do with Generosity, Dresden.”

“Ah, but that’s the thing!” I said, with my finger and arm raised in the air in a gesture of triumph. “Most black-market organs like I just talked about? They’re not actually stolen.” The smile from earlier came back. “They’re sold quite willingly.”

Rarity’s own smile just died.

“After all, what could be more Generous than to sacrifice parts of you, or even your life, so those of your family that live on may actually, say, have food on the table?” I tapped my forehead again. “And yet, all those same restrictions and conundrum applies… to that act of Generosity.” I took of my hat and held it to my chest. “So what is your moral verdict, Lady Rarity?”

“...I think you come from a very harsh world, Mr. Dresden.” Rarity said in a even voice, even if she had to close her eyes and tears ran while she said them. “Quite possibly one worse than you deserve.”

My smile cracked at the sudden and unexpected kindness. “...It has its moments,” I said, as I put my hat back on, “but I’d like to think there are such moments from both ends of the spectrum.” I gave a big shrug, my arms extending slowly from my sides. “But one may not fight the dying of the light, if one does not even acknowledge that even that may falter.”

Rarity let out a bitter little laugh. “Is that why you are telling us these horrible things?”

“No, I’m telling you these horrible things because until about last week I didn’t have a shred of magic. Because my world barely has a shred of magic.” Rarity’s eyes shot open at my words; a loud gasp sweeping the courtyard. “And I’m saying these things, because before there was Harry Dresden the wizard, before there was B-”

I quickly corrected myself, but near every ear nearby perked. Dammit. “...And before there was Harry the bookstore owner, there was a horrible, angry little thug of a man…” I had to close my eyes, my hand drifting to the pocket that held my pocket watch.

Only that tiny little keepsake, nothing else… and straight over my heart. “...that one day realized he couldn’t change the world with his fists. That no matter how many slimy bastards he hit, how many hate filled gits he broke, no matter how much he bled from and bloodied those fists…” I had to blink away a few tears. An old childish part of me thought about ignoring it, or pretending it wasn’t… but I’d left behind such childish nonsense as pretending men can't cry many years ago. “...it wouldn’t actually make a single damn thing better.”

The irritating silence had returned. It was so silent in fact, that you could hear the ticking near my heart.

“But I got a… moment of clarity about it. I fought my bloodlust, stomped on the angry little man I’d been, and snarled and fought against every little bit of myself until I somehow became a proud and stand-up citizen.” I couldn’t quite stop a small barked out laugh. “Somehow even managed a degree without bribes being involved. Fancy that, huh?”

By its own accord, my other hand had somehow made it into that pocket, and… pulled out the small timepiece.

It was a battered and torn thing, the tiny little watch almost lost in my hand; its once shiny surface so dotted with scrapings and dents you could barely tell it had once been silver. The thing had been on six continents with me (seven if you counted the current dimensional shenanigans). I’d had to replace the entire mechanism eleven times. Once to a bad drop, twice to sand, three times to salt-water, once to the horrible month where the chain snapped without me noticing and I didn’t find the poor thing until the mechanism was more ice than clockwork, three times to one of those ‘dents’ being bad enough the shell needed to be hammered into shape once more, once to simple wear and tear…

I must have spent enough on this darn little thing to buy a small cottage by now. All that time, all that money, all that effort, for a tiny little clock that looked as if it had been kicked out of the trash heap by a higher class of garbage.

With practiced ease, I pushed the tiny button on the side; making the well-oiled lid click open. Just a clock. Three hands ticking along on a unadorned background…

And an inscription.

To My Brother, With Love ~M.J

And there was only one thing I’d trade if for… but you aren’t allowed to actually perform that type of bargain in the real world.

My tears now dry, I closed my little watch… and gave the six idiots such a death glare they near slid a meter back from how fast they scooted away from me. “So, yes, I was rather pissed for a day or so, to have met and fought four idiots that take being able to warp reality for granted.”

I had to unclench my shaking fists and take a deep breath before pressing on.

“And then I found out that those four very same idiots and two of the only ponies I’ve so far met that actually seemed like decent folk? They turned out to have bits of fundamental forces made manifest squirreled away, that they apparently think is appropriate bling material! Bling they use to try hunting down and intimidate somebody that might be dead from the very air in this place before the week is over if he is unlucky! Bits of Magic itself, they seem to refuse to have even thought about the darker aspects of!”

I pointed a shaking finger at the pink one with the ruler straight mane and tail. No idea why’d she changed it, but I simply didn’t care at the moment. “You know what my argument about the stupidity about that is for Laughter, Miss?!”

Pinkie, I think the girl’s oh so original name was, gulped slightly and slowly shook her head.

So I clenched my fists, threw my head back and cackled. And given the questionable state of my sanity at the moment? It was a good cackle. I just leaned back, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and… well, you get the picture.

Might have been my imagination, wishful thinking or out-rightly this world being that weird, but I swear I even heard a few lightning-bolts in the background. Probably not, but it was still that type of cackle. ‘Strap the monster in, Igor, there’s a storm a’ brewing!’ type cackle. A ‘Prometheus as he hangs and sees the eagle coming’ type cackle…

The wizard-has-utterly-lost-his-marbles-type cackle.

By the time I was done serving as the conduit into the mortal world for that Thing, I was down on my knees in the dirt, and I hadn’t even noticed sinking down like that. Hell, it had somehow rained without me noticing while I shook my fists at the heavens.

I got to my feet, and glared at the stock-still pink idiot. “Now, kids… did that sound like a good type of laugh?” I said, my voice coarse and raw.

I think it cost her something and for just a moment the sapphire she had, the bit of Laughter itself she was so wasting, dimmed slightly.

But Pinkie did slowly shake her head at me.

So I turned to Applejack. Honest, proud, Applejack, who’d just heard all her friends verbally savaged so utterly…

And there she stood, head held high, calmly awaiting her turn to be all but flogged verbally.

And I actually smiled at what I saw. Not the near mad thing I’d had before, but a small and half-way decent one, as I gave her a small clap. “Well done, kid. I’d bet diamonds to rocks you’ll be next for the horn and wings promotion.”

Had her jaw fallen any faster, it would have dislocated.

“Of course,” I said with a shrug, “my personal feelings aside, not giving you a scoop of insight as well would be unfair, would it not?”

The mare did a slow gulp. “...Yeah.”

I turned and took a few steps back before continuing. “This may shock and appall you all, but this wizard actually read a book once…”

Nobody laughed. Figures.

I waved it off. Sometimes you get a tough crowd; it just happens. “Now, I didn’t actually like it, but it had an idea about Honesty I just found fascinating.”

“...And that would be…?” Applejack said, squaring her shoulders slightly as she waited for the other shoe to drop.

“That capital T Truth is a barbed, horrible, deep cutting thing. A horror of such depth and magnitude, that no friend would actually be totally honest to another.”

The crowd had clearly not been liking my little stunt so far… but this time? Now they actually began to mutter angrily.

I pressed on. “That true honesty cuts so horribly, so deep, may destroy the very core of somebody so thoroughly; that only the most bitter of enemies will ever employ it against one another.”

Outright shouting started breaking out. So I turned in a lazy circle with my arms spread wide and addressed them all. “Anypony care to look me in the eye, and tell me they’d still be the friend of somebody that just heard give as much as a single other friend of theirs the type of tongue lashing I just gave these misguided but well-meaning girls?”

The silence was all but deafening. Almost unnaturally so, for such a large city.

“Anybody? No takers, whatsoever?” I did another slow turn, as the crowd’s collective gaze slid off me like butter on a too hot skillet. “Not a single pony here that wishes to rise to the challenge of actually following your own damn beliefs about honesty being a cornerstone of friendship?” I threw my arms out in disgust and just let them fall, but I continued my slow turn, just in case. “I’m even saying I don’t believe it myself! I think the worlds would be a much better and healthier places if more people actually grow some thicker skin and could take some truth, every once in a while!“

I glared around at the crowd, still not having a single one of the gawkers actually wanting to step up to the challenge

So I clenched my fists, and put my damn money where my mouth is. “There is a vow my magic teacher told me to never say! One of such horrible potency and dread power, that Magic itself will take offence to you breaking it, and sever part of itself from you in retribution! Permanently! You can never regain that bit of power, just train until you once more pass that point! Break it enough times, even for the pettiest of reasons, and it can turn an arch-mage into somebody that can’t even bring forth enough magic to make a light!”

That got them to react, all right. Shocked gasps, disbelieving whispers, stares that begged me for it not to be true… The works.

“And I, Harry Dresden, swear upon my Power that if any of you cowards come forward and tell me the Truth of what you think of me after all I’ve said, in this time and at this place; then I will as long as it hurts no innocents and involves no dark magic, perform a single favor of any magnitude to the very best of my ability for that person upon their explicit request!”

That vow is not one to be taken lightly… but I’ve never done well with facing hypocrisy.

And this time, it was a big one. The backlash as the vow took hold drove me to the ground and the air from my lungs.

“Well?” I croaked out as I got to my shaking feet, and brushed myself off. “The eldritch freaking horror of the week just put his magic on the line, so even a single one of you gawking idiots can step forward and actually prove your own damn champions over there right!” I pointed a shaking hand back at the six idiots that could be so much better. “And none of you can actually manage to scrape together enough Loyalty and Honesty for your champions, for as much as a ‘Wow, you suck?!’”

I gave it about five minutes. Five minutes of horrible, sucking silence, broken only by a few sniffs and shuffling hooves.

I frankly, almost felt the edge of something beyond this calm place I’d found myself at the sight; my hand clenching around my staff so hard the wood creaked. So I slowly lifted and pointed my open hand towards Twilight’s general direction. “One of your own alicorns you claim to hold so highly marched into what she thought would be a regular battle looking like that, against the person who thought his back was against a wall and made her look like that in the first place!” I had to force my fists open as to not damage them. I kept sweeping my gaze around the damn rooftops and the audience there, but every pony I as much as looked near just kept flinching and looking away. “And none of you two-faced bastards can muster up enough spit and gristle to tell me a simple ‘You are wrong!?’”

Another five hellish minutes or so of silence later, and I just…

I honestly didn’t even have enough energy left to feel disgusted. Even the anger had simply boiled away, leaving me feeling empty and spent.

So I turned towards Applejack and just...threw my arms out. “And there you have it. The honest truth, of just how whatever how much you’ve bleed and sacrificed for that power seems to be worth in the public's eyes.”

The girl had a decent poker face. Slightly ironic for the wielder of Honesty, but whatever.

But I know fury. I know disgust. I know what it’s like to see something, and just want to run screaming at it and punch, and punch, and punch, until there is nothing left but a stain.

Thing is, I couldn’t tell if the subtle tension, and hardness to her eyes was aimed at me, the crowd… or simply the Truth she’d just been shown.

Hell, it’s a complicated and silly ol’ world. Might have been all of those.

What I did know however, is that it was only Applejack’s element that blazed like a tiny sun; the orange gem shining from within as if it had passed before the sun itself for the first time in millennia.

“How goes that quote? ‘That which may be destroyed by truth, should be,’ I believe.” I tilted my head and thought while snapping my fingers, trying to remember. Sadly, I had to shrug and admit defeat. “Can’t remember the gents name, but wise words from a wise man, at any rate.” I paused for a beat, letting the words sink in. “Don’t think he had many friends if he lived by them himself, but wise words nonetheless.”

It seemed Rose and her hubby had wisely skedaddled somewhere during my rant, but the others?

‘Dashie’ was all but wrapped around her still-sobbing friend. The overgrown child was trying to glare me down… but the gleam of horror and uncertainty in her eyes wouldn’t have fooled a puppy.

‘Pinkie’ was, frankly, lost in her own little world; the misty eyes just about visible through her bangs not focused on anything or anybody. I doubt anything short of a fire-bolt to the face would have made her react.

Rarity seemed almost as lost, but for her there at least seemed to be thought involved. Granted, the way she kept… well, prancing from one hoof to another, and how her biting her lip with those teeth made her seem rather preoccupied.

Twilight? Twilight’s face was all but ashen. I don’t know if anybody had tried this spiel of ‘you suck’ before… but I was rather willing to bet nobody had managed to cut quite as deep before. Her eyes kept darting around, as she quite clearly tried to think up counters to my words to help her friends…

Except she apparently couldn’t figure any out.

And Applejack? She just kept staring at the blazing gem on her chest, glaring as if she could will it away if she tried hard enough.

I turned, and went to deal with a small loose-end. Luckily, even most magical inanimate objects don't tend to cause much trouble, so the small jar of fire was easily acquired.

I took my hat off, and dropped the jar down into it. The hat didn’t even twitch as the thing fell into the magical pocket.

“Moment over, children,” I said as I put my hat back on, wincing as magic did its thing. “Hope you got something to think over, at least.”

I took a few moments to catch my breath, and then I walked back.

None of the girls had moved from where I’d left them.

I held my arms up in mock surrender. “I think I’ve proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you actually care to talk? Then I’ll talk until your darn ears try to run away in self-defense.”

Pinkie let out a tiny tittering laugh… but it frankly sounded more like mental reflex, than any true mirth.

Nobody joined in.

I folded my arms over my chest, wiggling the staff near my side to draw attention to it. “You lot still want a throw down after this? Frankly, as long as you aren’t stupid enough to have it in the center of the capitol, I will honestly help you sell freaking tickets and make a show of it.”

My lips turned to a line, as I pointed at the tiara Twilight was wearing. “But if you dare try intimidate me again with power you so clearly barely understand? Near civilians?”

I had to take a deep breath and lower my hands, as to not do anything I would regret. “I did not see Magic, Loyalty, Kindness, Laughter and Generosity today.” I gave a small nod towards Applejack, who frankly didn’t seem to know if she should hug me, or buck my head clean off. “Think I might have caught a glimpse of Honesty… but that might just be an old fool’s wishful thinking.” I turned my head back to the other five idiots again. “I did not see the exemplar champions of Luna, Celestia and Equestria, wielding the instruments of their power, today. I saw six foolish little fillies playing with the hand-me-down scraps of power their mums apparently think might serve as a good-enough test to see if they can be trusted with something, you know, actually impressive.”

For just a moment, this flash of fear and doubt passed over the six girls.

Good. Only zealots never question.

“I frankly don’t care how this disagreement of ours ends. I’ve lived a decent enough life and I can think of worse ends than doing my best against impossible odds.” I am fairly certain my voice would have frozen a glass of water as I finished off my ‘little’ tirade. “But if you dare show up before me as these runty little fillies who seem content with serving as nothing better than the good-vibe batteries for Twilight’s shot at glory? I will get serious, I will break you, and then I’ll take those poor misused artifacts away so I can find wielders for them that aren’t short-sighted idiots.”

Dashie had apparently had enough and detangled herself from her now ‘only’ sobbing friend. I shook my wrist slightly to have my shield bracelet free as she darted snarling through the air at me… but it seemed the girl had learned at least a partial lesson, and she stopped in the air about a meter or so in front of my face.

“And you're supposed to be the expert then, huh?!” she shouted, jabbing her hoof at me. “And I’m certain you wouldn’t keep ‘em for yourself!”

“Actually, I’m fairly certain I can’t even hold one of those things without gloves.”

The silence of doom returned again. This near echoing of anti-sound just daring out and away from us.

“I’m this…” I was at a loss for words for a few moments, before continuing in a tired voice. “...ex-hooligan with delusions of betterment, civility…” I had to take a deep breath again. “...and intellectualism. I haven’t been in a fight for forty damn years, and I still feel as if I’m telling a damn fib at adding that ex.” I snarled and poked the flying if temporarily stunned irritant hard straight on the Element in question using my staff, making the girl drift back slightly and give off a puff of air.

My battered throat nearly gave out, but there are certain things that simply have to be shouted. “So do you understand why I’m so outraged that I’m the one that has been trying to perform diplomacy all this time?! While you stand there and have the gall to claim to be the Exemplar of Loyalty!?”

I felt my anger build again as the twit just hovered there staring.

In my outrage, it actually took me several moments to realize Dashie wasn’t staring at me.

So I followed her gaze down, down to where the brunt of my staff still rested against the Element of Loyalty.

And how almost the entire top of my staff was being rapidly consumed by a red light spilling forth from the gem; a halo that was quickly racing down towards my hand.

I know it sounds petty, but only years upon years of video-games saved me.

Yeah, I’m certain that sentence gets said all the time, but it was true. Without that constant refinement and testing of my reflexes, I’m certain that light would have gotten to me. Because I didn’t even think it over, I just reacted, and it still almost touched my hand by the time I noticed.

The staff sailed through the air, landing and sticking in the soft soil of a cabbage patch.

As I stared utterly mortified at it, unable to look away… my staff shifted. The red light crawling down and over it, changing, warping it.

Once it faded, I… I couldn’t look away.

I barely noticed how I’d stumbled closer, but I almost touched the wood with my bare hands before I realized what I’d almost done.

My hands were shaking so badly, that I had to take two tries just to pull forth my blasting rod. The sharp whack of wood on wood cut through the air… but nothing. No red light, or as much as a spark.

I had to force myself to actually touch what just moments ago had been one of the proudest and grandest gifts I had ever received.

But my hand touching the wood of my old hockey-stick felt only that. It looked cleaner and far more well-kept than the flea-market bargain it had once been. It’s lines straighter, and with ‘runes’ carved by far more skilled hands than mine…

But there wasn’t as much as a spark in it. There was in fact, less magic in it, than what I could feel in the air and ground all around.

I’d been prepared for many things, many fates, on seeing those artifacts and their wielders. Being sent home? Irritating, but fine. Some hell analog? Wouldn’t like it, but I’m not the type to give up without cause. Some heaven analog? Yeah, right…

But the horror before me?

My knees gave out under me and my rod fell to the ground with a soft thud, as the most horrible realization I’d ever had dawned on me. A Truth so grand and terrible, it nearly broke me on the spot.

“...No, anything but that…”

Magic was the grandest gift I’d ever been given. A thing of wonder and hope I’d clung to for years despite thinking it just… pleasant myths and inspiring stories. To have actually been given even the tiny taste I had? To have been given that tiny mote to fan into a flame of my own? To have found out that such things exist?

I have spent so long, so much effort, so many years, so many struggles against what I really am, deep inside, I’d tried so hard to be better…

I honestly… thought I had come far enough, to be worthy of at least this sample of wonder. A chance to actually finally be more than that bastard Quentin.

But no.

Magic had noticed me.

Magic had, once it bothered to actually notice me, judged me.

And found me unworthy to even possess what sliver of power I’d gained by chance, and a stranger’s generosity.

I thought I’d left fear behind so long ago I didn’t even remember its touch. But now? Terror itself reached an icy hand into my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed hard enough that for a few moments it couldn’t even beat.

In my heart of hearts, I had already known this. The delinquent, getting a hold of power, and it somehow making him better? As if that tale is ever told.

But I thought I’d worked hard enough to at least…

I blinked and started breathing again as I realized that the truth wasn’t quite that bad.

I hadn’t been judged and found wanting by Magic.

I’d been judged and found wanting by Harmony.

Subtle, but rather important a difference. Important enough that it gave some strength back to my limbs. Things were still bad, don’t get me wrong... but they’d moved from ‘the aliens are here and really like probing’ levels bad, to about ‘Sir, your head appears to be on fire’ level bad.

I took a deep breath as a plan started to form. For the later at least I had a metaphorical bucket of ice… but I didn’t have to like pouring it down over my head.

“...Let me guess,” I said as I slowly got to my feet again and dusted myself off. “All magic in this realm is considered to work through just that, IE harmony? ‘There is no spoon’ type of stuff, and thus why even the local magic expert was rather shocked at seeing me performing pyromancy without briefly becoming one with the flames?”

The silence got a hotly anticipated sequel. The All-Consuming Silence 5: Electronic Boogaloo of Doomy Dooms of Doom.

Meh, the first sequel was better.

Twilight frankly seemed as if she’d gotten mental whiplash for a moment, but she got herself under control and hobbled to the front of the girls; face utterly unreadable. “...What are you implying?”

There were two paths open for me as far as I could see. There was no plausible way for me to block or deflect what was basically its own ley line nexus on such short notice. Sure, my ring of salt was still undisturbed and could be re-powered… but now when I knew the cost for tangling with those darn pet rocks there was simply no way I’d gamble on such a remote possibility.

Thus the most logical and efficient way to solve this problem was to not engage the Elements at all.

Their wielders as I’d spent almost half an hour or so hammering in, were after all merely mortal.

Those I could fight.

There is a part of me, that simply turns vile when I have my back to a wall… and that part was currently whispering quite insistently how easy a simple burst of flame would be. Even if it didn’t kill one of them, it would leave the girl in question a screaming mess; unable to actually serve as the catalyst for her Element.

I bit my lip as my eyes swept over the six girls. Hesitating as I thought over my options again.

...But not even during the worst of the bad-old days had I crossed that line. Even that young fool Quentin had a few rules.

Never throw the first punch, but all is fair for the second.

Never lie. No matter the pain or humiliation in the short, for the long run that reputation becomes so valuable no lie is simply worth risking it.

And never, ever, fight ‘weaklings.’ It’s not fun, it ruins your reputation, it isn’t a challenge… and you even feel worse afterwards.

Yeah, Quentin had been a piece of work, but even the clock so broken its face is just a mass of glass is right sometimes.

Quentin…

I quite literally slapped my forehead as I realized something that frankly was a rather decent Truth all on its own.

I was being a total idiot.

Hey, they can’t all be sanity snapping or beyond mortal ken. To my defense though, actually internalizing something as big as ‘Yer a wizard, Harry’ wasn’t something done in under a week.

I can’t believe I was actually moments away from yielding to these wastes of power. They might have a big, scary magical shotgun… but the hooves holding that big, scary magical shotgun couldn’t have belonged any clearer to little girls if they’d had matching friendship bracelets.

...Although come to think about it, I guess you could see the Elements as the set of matching friendship bracelets, but whatever.

A conjured wall of water, ice magic to make it into an actual wall, and before they’d know it I’d be in either out in the streets with a veil on, or simply taking my chances with the local Nevernever before they could break through. Now that I actually knew this place held a mortal civilization instead of just monsters that look cute, there was frankly little reason not to simply skedaddle until chasing me proved too time-consuming slash expensive.

Still… one should at least try the low-cost if also low-chance civil approach. “Slightest chance I’ve actually shown enough civility we can continue this at a later date minus the objects of power?”

This statement made Rarity balk and all but explode at me. “You call this civility?!” Politely since this was Rarity exploding, but still.

I had to fight down a snarl, but I think some tension still showed on my face given how she backed down. “Given how incandescently furious I happen to be at seeing Magic made manifest used as if it was nothing more than a cudgel with spikes in, I happen to think some mundane screaming on the top of my lungs on seeing such blatantly wasted potential is quite normal, yes....”

Rarity took a deep breath to shoot back a rebuttal, but Twilight of all ponies actually put her hoof on her friend’s shoulder; making Rarity back down instantly.

I folded my arms over my chest and waited.

“Mr. Dresden…” I felt a pang of sympathy as the girl had to stop, wince and refocus after hobbling a step closer. Still, she’d made her bed. “...Just what did you mean with that line about pyromancy? And how did you do that?”

Although I had to give the girl a few points for intellectualism, I still just had to stand and stare at her for a few moments. “...With all due respect, Miss Twilight… I’m not really in the mood to talk magical shop with the girl that held me up by my ankles and frisked me just a few days ago.”

Near every pony nearby spluttered, stared at the still blazing Element of Honesty and then all but glared at Twilight; all as one organism.

The Element bearer in question herself? Frankly, I’ve seen people holding broken bottles with less rage in their eyes, as Applejack’s gaze slowly drifted from her Element and towards Twilight. “...Ah believe yah forgot to tell us that part… sugar.”

Rarity with her lips a line, ears slicked back and tail thrashing, gave a sharp nod at the words.

“I’ve got a concussion and I’m on three different painkillers! I just forgot!”

On hearing that and the… actual panic in Twilight’s voice on hearing her friends’ disapproval… I have to admit; even my abused nub of a heart gave off a wince.

My eyes drifted to my now utterly useless ex-staff… but I came to a decision.

I’ve read far too many stories where somebody gains awesome powers, and basically grease up a wet-suit to get down the slippery slope to bastard-hood as quickly as possible.

I know I’m no saint, but… I didn’t want to be a hellion again. And especially not have something as grand and wonderful as magic be what pushed me there once more.

I didn’t want to do it. I thought all my freaking choices sucked. I’d preferred to just go back to my room, and pull my personal ball-pit over my head for a month or two.

I let out a deep sigh and started taking off my force rings.

We all make our choices, but in the end they make us. Trite, but true.

So I ignored how everybody stared, took off my force rings, my shield bracelet, and put them all into the pockets of my duster. Then I removed that and gently folded the thing into a pile on the ground. I took off my pistol, still in its holster to avoid misunderstandings, and dropped it atop the duster. My rod (insert joke here) quickly followed, falling with a slight clatter next to the pile. Heck, I even kicked off my shoes…

And no sooner had I done that, when every pony within sigh gasped and got really interested in the local cloud formations.

I just had to stare down at my half-decently cleaned socks. Unless Snoopy bore a disturbing likeness to ‘pony-Hitler’ or something, (Not that even that sounded that far-fetched, given how my luck on social interactions had gone so far.) but surely not even my life could have gotten that weird?

...Right?

Rarity, almost pure crimson from embarrassment, let out a small cough into her hoof. “...Harry, I think I know what you are trying to do… but socks are considered suggestive undergarments here in Equestria.” Rarity gave off another embarrassed sounding cough into her hoof, tearing her eyes away from my feet and joining the Stratus Fan-club. “Please put the shoes on again.”

I almost laughed out loud at the clever joke… then I realized Rarity was being serious.

Naturally, on hearing that the country of nudist thought that about socks of all darn things, I had to face-palm and fight down an even bigger laugh.

Seriously, no wonder every damn wizard over a certain age and power-level tends to go cray-cray if this type of stuff is ‘Thursday’ for a plane-walker.

Still, I fought down the giggles, stepped back into my shoes and held my hands up with my fingers spread wide, as I slowly walked closer to Twilight. “Look, I won’t pretend I’m happy about seeing those artifacts and hearing that you girls can’t even imagine dark sides to them… but arrogance was never my vice.”

‘Dashie’ barked out a “Ha!”

I rolled my eyes at that, before ignoring her and pressing on. “For all I actually know at the moment, you might have a damn good reason for not experimenting around with the Elements. I don’t know, each ‘shot’ actually draining some of the harmony between you all, and if you do it too much you’ll end up as emotionless husks, or something…”

All of the bearers suddenly tensed, as if they had to force themselves to not look at the ancient artifact around their necks. (Except Twilight with her tiara, of course, but details.)

“...but I’m not too proud to admit I simply don’t know.” I took a deep breath, to steel myself slightly. “Or that four days ago could have gone quite a bit better.”

Twilight looked down from staring at her tiara to give me a steely-eyed nod.

“In my defense though, I’m now fairly certain I’m not in a world filled with soulless monsters, ironically cuddly looking demons, or shoggoth lords with a sick sense of humor.” The six mares balked a bit at me, but I just pressed on. “And I’m actually willing to bend a bit as a result this time around.”

I tilted my head in the following silence, remembering just how freakishly bendy ponies seemed to be. “...Well, technically I guess you guys could be civilized shoggoth lords with a thing for Technicolor ponies. It’s not as if I’ve had time to read any local anatomy books yet, and the multiverse is supposed to be endless…”

I’d mostly been thinking out loud, but ‘Yellow’ who’d finally stopped crying, raised a hesitant hoof. “...Um, what is a shoggoth lord?” The girl flinched slightly as I looked her way, and quickly looked around as if looking for escape ways. “...Just never heard about that animal…”

I shrugged slightly without lowering my hands. “These fictional monsters from this book series called the Cthulhu Mythos. They’re basically giant globs of constantly warping flesh, filled with mouths, eyes and organs growing and being re-absorbed at near random. Oh, just for the extra creepy they kill their victims by enveloping the poor schmucks before sucking their heads off.” I couldn’t quite stop a small smile as a few more in the crowd actually fainted. “A shoggoth lord is basically the same, but intelligent as well. So intelligent in fact, that they can disguise themselves as near anybody…”

Yellow’s eyes rolled up into her skull, before the poor girl sank down onto the ground in a neat little heap.

“Fluttershy!” screamed ‘Dashie’ before darting through the air to her fallen friend, pulling the limp girl in question into her arms. She barely gave the fainted girl a single shake before glaring my way. “WHAT KIND OF SICKO WRITER WRITES SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

“...A horror writer?” The snark lord living inside my mind volunteered through my lips in a deadpan. “That tried to be, you know, actually horrifying?”

Dashie jabbed a hoof at me, opened her mouth, closed it, reopened it once more… before giving off a grunt of irritation and refocusing on her fainted friend, ignoring me for the time being.

With a soft pat, Applejack’s hoof met her face.

“I don’t know guys, that doesn’t sound that bad to me. I mean, it even sounds a bit like my great-great-grandpa Tekeli-li.”

Slowly, near every head nearby drifted towards Pinkie. The mare herself seemed to be in her own little world though; letting out a mournful little sigh as she hugged herself. “...I miss him, he just gave the bestest of hugs…”

I didn’t see anything good coming from pointing out that horses simply can’t hug themselves. Not ones with actual bones, at any rate.

With a shrug I refocused on Twilight.

Twilight I suddenly remembered a comment from Applejack and Rarity claiming had not been born a winged unicorn.

Have to admit, the thought that I might be surrounded by cuddly eldritch horrors?

Eldritch horrors whose ancestors had seemingly gone so deep undercover into some proto-civilization of friendship obsessed equines they’d just plain forgotten you’re not actually supposed to flinch at the word ‘damn?’

Have to admit; even my weirdness quota got taxed by that line of thought.

Still, I gave a shrug again. “If Mars can need women, I guess R'lyeh can need mares…” I muttered to myself, before continuing in a normal tone of voice; breaking the slightly stunned Twilight out of staring at her friend. “Anyway, my point —the distraction that would explain so much about the weird quirks with pony anatomy I’ve noticed aside— was that I’m now about 75-80 percent certain I’m in a place with a civilization of mortals, rather than… well, horrors that gets their rocks off from looking cuddly before striking, to be blunt.”

“An’ just how many percent of those came after we met…?” Applejack asked me in that ‘friendly’ voice any man fears hearing from a woman.

I looked up at the sky and thought it over. “...About plus ninety for the conversation and company, minus thirty on seeing the unicorns and meat thing in person…?”

An outraged if ladylike gasp was soon followed by what felt like a tiny pebble with lingering magic on it hitting my temple.

I ignored it, plus the snickering from the crowd as well as quite a few harrumphs.

“Anyway,” I continued, “I know it won’t actually make anything better by itself, but I hope that at least cast some light on things; even if it was grim?”

I saw this tiny flicker in her eyes as Twilight apparently hesitated. “There are clearly more cultural differences you can shake most sticks at to work through, and stuff like that…” I ‘seized’ that opportunity by slowly lowering my right hand and offer her it. “...but could we please just say it was a diplomatic snafu worthy of the history books, and meet again in a month or two? Let tempers cool, wounds heal, the artifacts of doom slash weapons gather a bit of dust…”

This up close I actually could tell that Twilight was at least slightly on the medicated side. Sure, the eyes were just as near gleaming with intelligence and thought as last time, but there was just this slight delay to all her actions and movements.

Still, even if there was some cobwebs in the gears, the co-co bird was clearly still home. Twilight gave my hand a long look, before tilting her head back far enough to look up at me. “And just what would you use these ‘month or two’ for, Mr. Dresden…?”

“Well, make sure the local air isn’t slowly killing me for one,” I answered without hesitation, making her blink. “Or the water. Or the food. Make sure that you ponies don’t exhale cyanide vapors.” My eyes drifted to her tiara. “Or if the local magic field zags while mine zigs. Stuff like that.” Couldn’t quite keep an irritated frown off my face as I nodded towards the doorway behind her. “Ensure I have a more permanent roof over my head since I doubt any of the previous stuff is going to be a weekend project...”

Twilight bit her lip as she thought over what I’d said, and i could almost read the words: ‘Gah! I wish I wasn’t doing this while medicated!’ flash in her eyes.

“...And after that?” was what the girl said out-loud, however.

I just had to let out a sigh. “Ma’am, four days ago I feel screaming through an alien sky. Then I was in a fight. Then I spent three dam- darn days hiking through monster infested woods.” I poked her in the chest, causing quite a decent zap of magic and both of us to wince slightly. “And I didn’t actually sleep yesterday, as much as mentally wrestle all night with a prissy goddess-wannabe with an inferiority complex the size of her domain and astral control issues...”

“Hey!” Twilight exclaimed and poked me back with her good hoof. “Luna is not a wannabe anything!” Another harder ‘poke’ nearly sent me onto my ass. “You take that back!”

I back-stepped and dodged her next ‘poke,’ holding my hands up in surrender. “My point was that I’ve barely had time to rest my damn head on an actual pillow since I got here. Does that sound like good circumstances for planning even if I knew anything about this realm?”

Twilight leaned forward and poked me hard again; right on one of my many pockets. “But enough time to go gem digging and get contacts in the gem industry?”

I frowned as the pocket full of gems resettled and the crowd murmured. “...Is this Luna’s version of the ‘my friends made no such vow’ gambit?” I tried not to, but Twilight still got a light glare. “Because frankly, she told me things were now cool as long as I don’t get in anymore trouble, and I thought the sentiment of her word was more valuable to her than that.”

For just a moment a look of pure surprised horror flickered over Twilight’s face. Wasn’t conclusive by any means, but it did point to this being the girls acting independently.

Only for a moment, though, then she frowned and poked me again. “Answer me.”

“I lucked out.” I held up a single extended finger. “Once on this whole involuntary trip of mine. Twice if you count finding a guide worth his wage.” Twilight looked disbelieving, so I patted my pocket. “That tiny sliver of luck is the only reason you didn’t find me sleeping under a bridge and performing parlor tricks on the street.”

To the locals’ credit, the murmur immediately got replaced by a awkward silence. Even Twilight herself suddenly looked mortified.

I wiggled my hands mysteriously in the air. “Or did you expect me to have a magic cottage in my back-pocket? Or a spare cornucopia hidden in my shoes, perhaps?” I snorted and slowly swept a hand over the crowd without looking away. “And I’m sure one of those so called ‘endless’ purses would work really well with a populace that have seen real magic since before they could walk.”

The last one actually got a rather angry murmur, so I held my hands up high and addressed the crowd. “Hey, never claimed I’ve actually got, made or even seen one of those. Just heard about the concept.” I paused for a moment, letting my words sink in. “Same as for the other two.”

Guess it made sense. Something as unashamedly greedy as an enchanted purse that steals back every coin taken from it? When magic is ‘locally’ considered partly made up of generosity? It would be like a Christian hearing there’s a gun out there powered by a splinter of the true cross, or a Muslim hearing somebody turned one of the bones of Mohammed into a shiv.

Not sure if the ponies would actually use those words given how ‘goody-good’ they if nothing else liked to seem, but ‘anathema’ and ‘blasphemy’ sprang to mind for me at least.

Still, this had gone on long enough.

“Look, kid…I don’t know what those,” my voice was already on the dry side, but I added air-quotes just for a bit more of obnoxiousness, “‘that’s classified’ humans are capable of…”

Showing the poker face of the year, Twilight’s eyes darted around the crowd looking completely innocent. ‘Luckily’ it seemed the crowd was a bit taxed in the attention span from all that had passed so far, and I frankly didn’t even see a single one of them blink.

“...but if you ponies are even a quarter as strong as the non-magical, non-sapient ones in my realm? That don’t tend to aim their bucks, at that?” I offered my hand again, even if I couldn’t quite stop a frown of my face. “Frankly, you could fold me in half even in your state, and me and my bruised ribs are standing here within poking range without my armor on.” I wiggled my still outstretched hand as a small flash of guilt passed over her face. “Hint, hint.”

My eyebrow started to twitch as Twilight again hesitated, staring at my hand.

Don’t get me wrong, I got why even if it irritated me. I’m no politician, but if this girl was basically freshly titled nobility whose ascension to such status had involved magically grafted limbs instead of a land grant? If she said ‘yes,’ shook my hand… only for me to go on a dehorning spree, or something?

Forget eggs and her face, it’s quite possible her back would once more be bare if that happened.

I just barely fought down an exasperated sigh. “You want a retainer tailing me, or something? Fine.” I wiggled my hand again, just a bit harder for emphasis. “I’m not asking for a blood-oath on being ‘best friends forever and ever and ever’ here; I just want the spells to stop flying for long enough I can check if it’s actually within my power to get home.”

I had to close my eyes and wrestle with quite a few emotions before breaking the following silence. “...Failing that, I would rather have my enemies be of the ‘bitter contempt and ignoring each other,’ rather than ‘bloody feud until the last person falls’ variety.” I reopened my eyes and again trust my hand towards the rather still and wide-eyed mare. “Cynical enough, ma’am?”

“...Just what type of world do you come from?”

At that, I just had to smile wide… of the actually reaching the eyes variety. “Well, for starters, I find how you ponies react to even the concept of actual weather to be rather adorable, now that I actually know the cultural ‘why…’”

As my words sank in, Twilight’s pupils turned to tiny little pinpricks. “...Oh sweet Harmony, you're from a global Everfree.”

Let us say that she mumbled… and I’m still fairly certain everybody still heard her.

Still smiling, I spread my arms wide in a theatrical shrug. “Well, as the old joke goes: ‘The optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears the optimist may be right.’” My light chuckle echoed against the walls of the small courtyard. “Have to admit; never thought I’d live to see that one proven wrong with my own eyes…”

Twilight gulped slightly, as my smile faded. “You know what spell I could cause global waves with, Miss Sparkle? What might just spark a second Enlightenment, was I to find my way home and show such a legendary feat to somebody that would actually believe me?”

Slowly, Twilight shook her head.

So I slowly raised my hand, gathered some power…

And made a tiny, almost invisible even, spark of orange magic fly away from between my fingers as I snapped them.

Twilight flinched and looked around, only to frown deeply as she didn’t see anything actually happen.

I heard the other girls tense and take battle stances, but I ignored them all.

I snapped my fingers again, sending out another small shower of sparks. “Think it through, Miss Sparkle.” Another snap, another bunch of tiny motes of pure potential raining down... “You seem to be a clever girl, and I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Twilight frowned again, and bit her lip; staring at my fingers as I continued snapping them.

I decided to give her a hint. “Now, I haven’t heard about this ‘Everfree’ place… but I’ve heard the tone of voice you use for badlands before.” My irritation made the next snap turn into a torrent rather than a shower. “Now, why would a person that hails from such a place, be so infuriated at seeing something squandered he clearly possess some of, himself…?”

I swear I almost heard a click as Twilight actually got it. Not only that but I’m fairly certain the only thing that kept her from falling over was that she was already sitting on her haunches.

I gave a head tilt Rarity and Applejack’s way without taking my eyes of the quite clearly mortified Twilight. “The girls told I about how unicorns and pegasi are known as myth and legends in my realm?” I got a weak nod. “Well, the same goes for actual magic.” I snapped my fingers once last time for emphasis, making my ‘spell’ send out sparks of magic again as Twilight’s jaw all but came to rest on the ground.

I was frankly running out of clever ways to describe shocked silences. Guess it went with the territory, but still, it irritated me slightly.

A thought came to me, though. “Of the overt ‘lift crap with your mind’ variety. We’ve got stuff like Friendship and similar as concepts if that’s what’s made you all so mortified.”

I just had to shake my head at the small breeze caused by the the crowd starting to breathing again. Seriously, I wonder how the average pony would react to the mere concept of a world war? Or people like Vlad Dracul?

Honestly, had this place not invented fiction, or something? Surely at least the very concept of a world without magic must have at least been exposed once or twice?

I scratched my chin and let out a hum. Although I guess it’s quite the different beast to have read about ‘Splurt Spagot, Spaceman Spectacul!’ and actually see somebody rocket through the air with his jetpack; firing his raygun wildly at the pursuing Martians..

“I don’t know how early you cast your first spell, or whatever.” I told the stunned Twilight, as I pointed at my own chest. “But I quite literally stumbled upon my magic teacher.” My mind drifted back to what I was now fairly certain should have been a broom-closet, or something. “Hell, he’s got the whole ‘little shop that wasn’t there yesterday’ shtick going. For all I actually know at the moment, he might have given me the magical equivalent of ‘the first fix is always free,’ before booting me into a random dimension.”

I ignored the shocked gasps and pointed a thumb over my shoulder; towards my pile of gear. “Now, he didn’t exactly do it without giving me some gear, so I’m willing to give the old coot the benefit of the doubt…” The image of that insufferable smile flashed through my mind. “But for all I actually know, it might have simply been because he’s a bored bastard and it amused him.”

Twilight’s ear started twitching; in perfectly disturbing synch with her opposite eyebrow, at that. “...Just what are you trying to say?”

“That you might be more powerful than me, especially with that thing on…” I leaned down and glared her straight in the eye, the risk of a soulgaze be damned. “But compared to me, you're a soft and spoiled little brat.” I leaned in a bit further and whispered in her ear. “If I actually wanted to take over Equestria? Six lives is a rounding error by my world’s military standards.”

Twilight stopped breathing.

I continued, still at a whisper. “And to remove what is clearly a super weapon even by my standards from the game-board? That only six very special mares may wield, at that? Heck, even most of the good guys of my world wouldn't hesitate on that. And guess what? Since you six are bonded to those things, you wouldn’t even count as non-combatants. It would be seen about as morally neutral as blowing up an armory into tiny bits...”

I heard the other five start shuffling, so I leaned back from Twilight.

The mare had gone stock-still; like a rabbit that finally realized she’d been poking a fox. Hell, she wasn’t even blinking.

I continued in an even voice, if with my hands behind my back and my face set hard. “But I don’t want to be that kind of man. Because there is frankly quite a bit of difference between the right thing, and the easy thing.” I held my arms out wide. “Like say, laying down your armor and arms to prove you wish to negotiate a peaceful solution in earnest.”

It seemed she needed to force herself to do it… but Twilight took a deep breath. “...Is that your defense? That if you were a monster, you would have… destroyed us already?”

I gave the silence about five seconds to thicken, just for the drama heightening effect.

Then I just rolled my eyes while shaking my head slowly. “And the girl that can’t even say the word kill with a straight face...” I looked down again at a winged unicorn that had actually turned slightly green from that one word. “Fine, you overgrown child, let me spell it out for you: I’ve been holding back since day one, because I may be no saint, but I am also not a psycho that enjoys murdering misguided little girls.”

So many ponies nearby spluttered at my words, that the garden basically got an improper (and disgusting) watering in mist form.

Wordlessly, I held out my hand again.

I felt my eyebrow twitch again, as Twilight just stared at it. Again.

“Well?” I asked dryly. “Do we have a civilized accord of peace, or should I just walk away and try to ignore you again?” Slowly and meaningfully, I swept my eyes over her bandages. “You know, like last time I didn’t want to fight…?”

That actually got a note of genuine rage from the girl. Not bad enough for her to do that weird ‘rapidash’ thing, but enough that I swear I saw two red dots in the center of her eyes. “I was trying to help!”

“And I was trying to survive,” I snarled at her, making her flinch away instantly. “Because four days ago I didn’t know anything about this world. I learned about the local belief that magic is friendship hours ago! I didn’t know this world has gryphons until yesterday!” I poked Twilight hard in the chest. “So just how inflated is your thrice damned ego that you think I should have just known you were actually on the damned level!?”

Twilight let out a outraged gasp and leaned towards me. “You think I’d lie about wanting to help?! What kind of disharmonious dishonest pony would even do something that horr-!”

Twilight cut herself off mid-sentence, blinking up at me. I folded my arms over my chest and just looked down at her with a level look.

“...Oh.” Twilight wouldn’t look at me, as she started rubbing her cast awkwardly with her good hoof. “...I’m sorry, Mr. Dresden.”

I nearly had to clear my ears out on pure principle. Did I actually just…?

“...I’m not thinking straight right now,” Twilight continued in a voice a church mouse would have towered over. “I should have thought things over from your perspective, but…” Twilight was at a loss for words for quite a few moments. “...None of the ponies we’ve ever gone up against has ever… used the level of combat magic you’ve got against us. I saw that arch you showed AJ and Rarity, and I just…”

Twilight shivered, and when she talked next I actually had to Listen to hear her. (Another part of the Dresden package, but now was not quite the time to think it over.) “...And I couldn’t help but imagine one of my friends hit by that.”

I have to admit, even I simply had to wince on hearing that. That my little earth magic demonstration would be taken that way had… simply not occurred to me.

“...Look,” I told Twilight in a voice kind enough it actually slightly surprised even me. Her ears perked slightly, but that was the only sign she was listening. “I’m sorry as well. I’d been falling through this... void thing for who knows how long, before dropping out a couple of kilometers up in the air. If I’d been thinking a bit straighter, I wouldn’t have gone for such heavy spells.”

I ignored a muttered ‘Yeah, right...’ from guess who’s direction.

“...Chalk it up to the worst first-impression in living memory, and start over?” I offered my hand again. I hesitated for just a moment… before deciding on offering something else as well to show my sincerity. “Name’s Björn, but I go by Harry. It’s a wizard thing where I’m from. I’ve heard you’re something of a practitioner yourself…?”

Have to admit. Once you actually managed to coax it out of her? Twilight had an honestly radiant smile.

Pointy and gleaming enough that I winced internally for whatever poor stallion she might get over-eager with on her wedding night, but radiant nonetheless.

And no sooner had I returned that smile, taken her hoof… when the sky started falling.

I am not even kidding. Something finally went my way, and the sky started falling.

OK, OK… it was more like day and night broke, but I’d argue that’s about as bad.

“...So,” I deadpanned, staring up at the ribbons of day and night flickering over the sky as if the stratosphere had been turned into a glitchy video-game cartridge, “is this about an average week for you girls?”

“Meh,” Pinkie sighed out, sounding… oddly disappointed, “night and day being bucked up is just so three seasons ago.” I lowered my gaze, only to see that the girl somehow had gotten a black beret and thick rimmed glasses from nowhere. Pinkie waved a hoof dismissively at the sky, clearly rolling her eyes behind those spectacles of hers. “At least Black Snooty did it back when it was still cool.”

I got this strange, strange feeling that a joke had just whistled over my head. One on the level of actually hearing the sound of one hand clapping and finding out that it is nothing more than a five dimensional fart joke, or something.

Let us say the girl suddenly set off enough ‘Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!’ alarms in my head for Things Man Was Never Meant To Know for me to have no problem believing her tale of ‘great-great-grandpa Tekeli-li.’

“For the record, girls?” I added as an afterthought, as I cracked my neck and started trying to figure out how to beat some sense into the sky itself. “I’m starting to feel rather homesick for my magic-less, global Everfree where it’s nice and safe.”

I got a few nervous giggles for that one, but not many.

I looked down at the nervous looking winged unicorn whose hoof I was still holding. “So, we cool?”

“...Uh, sure?” Twilight said with a hesitant smile.

“Good.” I said, flashing a smile before dropping her hoof and walking over to my gear.

“So in my —admittedly limited, experience, the sky doesn’t go freaky like this without a twit twirling his or her mustache nearby.” I continued, as I struggled into my duster. “Wanna pool resources and go punch him or her in the face until the bastard stops?”

Rarity let out a wince, and apparently took up the torch of telling me what everypony nearby was thinking. “Dresden… that isn’t how we do things here in Equestria, and is the... language really necessary?”

I just pointed to the bands of night and day, my form briefly illuminated by the fragment of a cloudy day drifting by. “Oh golly gee, Lady Rarity, I am sure the person that has apparently done dreadful enough things to mess with two physical goddesses is but a tea-party and a stern talking to away from forsaking his or her poopy-head ways.” My duster and hat on again, I leaned my head to the side, using my hands as a pillow and batted my eyelashes at the six irritated looking mares. “Why, I’m sure we’re just playing for a bit with our wee little dollies together from being the bestest of friends!”

Applejack’s right eyebrow started twitching. “An’ just what happened to the weird but polite stallion I traded ma’ hat to four days ago...?”

“He spent two more days beating cockatrices away with a stick to reach this town, only to see two out of four ponies he’s met in this whole dimension he actually respects come at him with magical super weapons the morning after.”

Both Rarity and Applejack flinched slightly, and wouldn’t quite look my way for a moment.

“Oh, and I do believe he gets rather sarcastic and mean-spirited when cranky.” Finishing putting on my force rings, I put the hand to my mouth and stage whispered: “Don’t tell anyone. I think the other half of Canterlot hasn’t heard yet.”

I tried to not read much symbolism into it… but this shard of a moonlit but starry night came drifting over me as the girls frowned.

But the girls themselves? The girls remained right underneath a warm sun. Not as much as a cloud obscuring the light over them.

Yeah, this world didn’t seem to like me very much. Honestly, it was such a blatant ‘look at the bad-guy tempting the pure maidens’ vibe it would have frankly been funny if fictional.

But it wasn’t fictional. Somehow I’d ended up the ‘dark’ wizard in a land full of pastel ponies.

I barely fought down a snort as I leaned down and picked up my blasting rod. Fuck that. I was no saint, but there was no way I’d go ‘Darth Dresden’ on this place.

Even Quentin had standards… and I wasn’t that bastard. Not anymore.

As I got up, however, this red gleam caught my eye.

So… If I was on the ‘dark’ side, the girls on the ‘light’ one…

Just what did that make my now ex-staff, wood so fresh and shiny it gleamed; the tiny ruby still tied to it with string sparkling red in its own private sunbeam?

I just barely fought down a snort. I’m a freaking wizard now…

I failed on the wide grin, though.

And two may play the symbolism game.

So I got to my feet, and strode with purpose into the light.

Perhaps it was just my imagination… but when I stood for a moment there in the twilight, shielding my eyes against the sudden glare? It was subtle as heck, but I’m certain I saw more than a few ponies shiver, the Element bearers in particular.

Heck, ‘Dashie’ even looked slightly queasy, and confused over why. She still had enough presence to continue hovering, but she kept doing those ‘somebody just walked over my grave’ glances over her shoulder.

As if the world had just gone off script, and the other actors had a mental ‘Wha…?’ at suddenly needing to perform improv.

I took the last few strides over to my ‘staff’ and yanked it out of the soil. I then tried to channel some magic through it… but nothing happened. Zip whatsoever. I could feel the magic moving around… but it was like trying to stir a cauldron of toffee with a piece of string.

The runes, now looking so wrong and amateurish to me, didn’t even light. The hockey stick in my hand was now about as magical as a used car salesman’s smile.

Again.

Chuckling, I undid the small string and put the first gem I’d ever found into my pocket. “Oh well, there goes a few weeks of my time…”

I was frankly… relieved. I’d always done my best with a foe to best, be it some punk with a chain, Quentin, myself…

And now the bleeding Destiny of this world apparently thought I’d make a wonderful mustache twirler of the week. Honestly hadn’t even noticed until it screwed up with that light and dark symbolism a six year old could have read.

“Förlåt mig, lilla öde…” I murmured in a happy voice as I throw down my broken staff. “...men det finns inte en jävla chans att jag ger mig så lätt. Om du vill ta ifrån mig min magi så behöver du anstränga dig betydeligt mer än bara det här.”

I actually felt this subtle shift in the magic around me… and the band of moonlit night all but lunged at me. With another chuckle, I just took a step further back into the light.

“And just what was that?!” Dashie, clearly on edge, demanded of me.

I turned with my hands in surrender and a genuine smile on my face. “Just something of a small… oath, you could call it. Don’t think you’d care for a translation, but being my type of wizard is a lot of work.” I gave a shrug and folded my arms. “Going to take me quite a few weeks of carving to get a new staff.”

Dashie was clearly not believing my words from how the girl was visibly fuming, but ‘luckily’ it seemed the sky being in the state it was served as a bigger distraction. With a ‘gha!’ she landed and punched the dirt, clearly almost as frustrated with me, as not being able to figure out just why she’d gotten this angry again.

In that moment, I honestly pitied her. To be such a pawn of fate, and not even realize it...

I pointed up at the broken sky, and wiggled the finger as a metronome. “Tick, tock, ladies. Don’t know how soon it tends to set in for ponies, but I doubt global panic is any more pleasant a concept in this realm.” I crossed my arms again with a shrug. “You intend to help, or should I just get going…?”

The six were clearly uncomfortable in ways I doubt most of them even had words for, but the words ‘global panic’ all but lit a fire in their eyes.

“So that’s the fabled ‘Heroism’ thing, huh?” I murmured absently with my head tilted in thought. “Always was more of a ‘Defiance’ man, myself...”

The girls went into a huddle. Cute, I’d grant it that.

I just leaned against the nearest wall, and kept my finger wiggling back and forth. Tick, tock, tick, tock…

I gave it about a minute of insistent whispers before snorting and leaning off from the wall. “Well, girls… I’m not wasting any more time while the sky’s looking like that. You want to work at cross purposes, then that’s fine too.” Couldn’t quite keep an edge out of my voice as my eyes drifted over the girls, but a certain Crayola brain with her shoulders set hard in particular caught my gaze. “I frankly find it rather hurtful you’d think I’m such a short-sighted fool I wouldn’t put aside whatever ‘dread plans...’” I rolled my eyes at the words and made air-quotes, just to drive it home how stupid I thought they were being.

Dashie started grinding her teeth, glaring at me. The others looked quite doubtful, though.

“...I’ve got brewing to stop what might possibly be a mass-extinction event if unresolved, but I get it.”

That got a rise out of the crowd; this anxious murmur just a few notes short of panic rising into the air all around…

Never been that good with one-on-one… but crowds? Those I had a small gift in steering. Not nearly as good a perk in real life as the movies might convince you, but it had its moments.

So I put two fingers into my mouth and let out a bull-whistle that made every pony nearby wince and clutch for their ears. I waited a moment or two for them to recover, before cupping my mouth with my hands and shouting: “Show’s over! If you can’t help directly, than at least go home and don’t add any problems!” I turned slowly, making sure to make eye contact with as many as possible. “Those of you that can conjure lights, do so for the others!”

Luckily, the few guards present rose to the challenge and started echoing my sentiment.

I watched for a few moments. Not sure if some ‘herd’ instinct was at play or if it was just the Canterlot ponies being that jaded… but people started ever so slowly filter off in a semi-ordered fashion. That was the important bit.

I gave a nod, before striding off; my work-boots making no sound on the soft dirt.

I was halfway into the still lit, if now abandoned, kitchen when Twilight tried calling me back. “Dresden, wait!”

“Are you crazy, Twi?!” Guess who shouted, making my eyebrow start twitching slightly in expiration. “There’s no way we can trust that guy!”

I got the oddest darn feeling I should smirk evilly at hearing that. Instead, I let out a deep snort and stalked off again without even turning around. “Right back at you, you Technicolor idiot.”

Don’t ask me how, but I actually heard the idiot in question drop her jaw.

I stopped only when I’d gotten to the doorway next to the burned out stove. Resting one hand on the frame, I looked over my shoulder. “Last call, Ladies, or the cavalry rides out without you.”

Now, I’m no Weatherwax… but I’ve read a story or fifty in my day. And now? I swear, I could almost hear something howling in pain; just on the edge of even my magical senses. As if I’d just torn the legs off some dread and almost forgotten beast.

Have to admit… seeing the PPP drop to the ground, suddenly wincing from the mother of all headaches? Managed to keep that smirk of my face, but damn was it close.

“Rainbow!” Fluttershy shouted, darting over to the girl and almost making me face-palm on principle. Seriously, just what is up with the names in this realm? “What’s wrong?!”

“I...I-I-I don’t know!” Rainbow stuttered out, only to sink down and clutch her head. “Everything just feels w-w-wrong!”

If I was destined to be a villain? Well, I sure wasn’t going to waste it going after the minions. And for that matter, I had some choice words on picking five of the cutest darn girls I’d ever met to fill that role.

Choice as in Latin for ‘Die,’ ‘Pain,’ or ‘Disembowel,’ just to name a few.

On spotting something just perfect hanging on the kitchen wall to throw at the sixth ‘ranger’ though? Oh, I smiled wide on spotting that, alright.

So calmly I turned, walked over, took it down…

And effortlessly kicked the first-aid kit over the slick floor towards the girls.

For just a moment, Rainbow’s bloodshot eyes locked onto the small kit… then her back arched in a spasm hard enough she looked like an equine upside-down U and this ragged scream seemingly coming from the bottom of her very core tore itself out of her throat.

I actually winced on seeing the girl go into spasms, all her horrified friends piling on top of her to stop Rainbow from hurting herself.

I let out a small puff of breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Yup, definitely going to have to kill the Destiny of this realm on principle. Not sure if I could pull it off, but I’d definitely try if I ever managed to draw a bead on the bastard.

Not even Rainbow deserved this.

Ironically, my tiny bit of compassion just made it worse. She’d already been spasming, but that grew into what looked just like an epileptic fit; Rainbow’s eyes rolling back into their sockets and her foaming at the mouth, and everything.

Red foam.

There was even small streams of red, dripping down from her eyes. Not that you could see the latter with how they’d rolled up into her skull, but still.

And for a moment I was just… mortified. Standing there utterly slack-jawed at what I was seeing.

What type of sick force does that, to what was clearly little more than an immature girl? And for somebody else’s defiance, at that?

I hesitated for just a moment, staring at the trashing mare… then I came to my decision.

As I turned and left to try to help, Rainbow let out another scream; this time muffled into little more than a disturbing gurgle I was frankly certain would haunt my nightmares.

And that was about the time a clear blue aura tinkled into life all around me, lifting me clean of the ground and slamming me into the far wall beyond the kitchen.

Naturally, I ‘landed’ with a picture frame straight in the ribs. I barely had time to fight down the wince before being unceremoniously and roughly flipped over onto my back.

I could just barely see Fluttershy and Twilight over the now merely twitching Rainbow; seemingly administrating what first-aid they could using that kit.

I was however rather preoccupied with the sight of Rarity stalking towards me. Teeth bared, and flanked by her two remaining nervous looking friends that seemed to be keeping their enraged friend almost as much in their field of view as me.

And it was a good stalk. Barely a movement wasted, and her whole body tensed to spring if needed to. In that moment I frankly had no problem imagining why ponies had risen to become alpha-predators in a world with dragons. The speed and endurance of a horse, mixed with the lethal grace of a great cat, the intelligence of a person and freaking telekinetic powers all on top of that?

Talk about a complete game-breaker. Frankly, I had a harder time imaging why pegasi and earth ponies hadn’t been left in the dust, Cro Magnon and Neanderthal style.

“Mr. Dresden,” Rarity commanded in an icy voice through bared fangs, as she stalked closer to me with her face set into a hard snarl and her horn blazing with power, “care to tell me why Rainbow Dash had that happen to her, after you throw her a medical kit…?”

Of course, since Rarity seemed to have quite a bit more common sense slash predatory drive than Twilight, all I actually got out thanks to the whole-body TK grip was: “Mmpp.”

Seemingly not in a rational enough mood for my Pyro impression, Rarity sank down a bit further into an outright battle stance; letting out this low hiss that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I didn’t take my eyes of the irate unicorn or her two mortified earth pony friends…

But this small part of me noted with wry amusement that the hallway-clock in the corner of my vision hadn’t even passed 10 o’clock yet.

Yeah… definitely was going to be one of those ‘Dresden’ type days.

Author's Note:

Ponies implied to be Friendship obsessed eldritch abominations?!

In a Dresden story?!

Never heard that one before!

Seriously though and jokes aside, say ‘Hello’ to newbiedoodle, the newest editor!

And we now have an actual plot, Ladies and Gentleman!

To be fair, ruling royalty getting punched in the face? Tends to have fallout, even without extra-dimensional wizards doing so using strange magic in broad-daylight.

Oh, and I have no intention of just re-doing season four but with a ‘green-ranger’ added from nowhere. Just for the record. I’m going somewhere with this insanity.

Trivia: Original title for this chapter was: Chapter Six - The completely ordinary day were nothing bad whatsoever happens!

Just too long, and a bit on the nose. I like the current pun much better anyway.

God’s death is a real traditional Nordic swear, by the way. (Guds död, in Swedish) It’s a bit rare thanks to the current trend of multiculturalism and people simply not wanting to offend, but it still pops-up every now and then. It’s about comparable in strength to ‘fucking hell,’ for those of you linguistically curious.

Oh, and that line in untranslated Swedish? More or less spells-out completely what direction the story will go, so translate it on your own risk.

Still, for those of you simply too curious…

*Forgive me, little fate... but there is no damned chance I'll give up this easy. If you want to take my magic away you'll have to try much harder than this.'

Comments

[Flutters Is Shy]

33k words in a single chapter?
Damn man, way to give me a complex.
My own insecurities aside, damn man, that was an awesome chapter.

[Divem]

I wouldn't say it was well worth the wait...

...

But that's because I'm a hopeless addict when it comes to reading stories I really like. I was surprised and deliriously happy to see a new chapter up, and that joy only increased after reading. Thank you for the time and effort you put into writing.

Edit:

Also, I think you might have cut off the end of a sentence in the cloud discussion with Black:

Despite how freaked out he was, Black couldn't quite stop a nervous couple of giggles from forcing themselves out. “Yeah, I don’t think that

Despite the humor in the moment, I still had to wince a bit.

Also, in the following part you've put 'trust', where I think you were going for 'thrust'

With a whoosh I almost felt more than heard, the small and almost under control fire practically exploded.

I trust my hand out before they had even come to a complete stop and formed a shield around the pair. “Don’t just stand there!” I snarled at the wide-gaping young idiot. “Run and go get the fire department!”

[Eclipsemlp666]

33k? Damn...

[oldtimeydude]

Dafuq is going on? Discord?

[Apocryphal Frost]

"I didn't start that damn fight!"

"Yes you did!"

"Don't lie to them!"

"Okay, maybe he didn't start it..."

"Blah blah blah threats blah blah peace."

"...Okay."

"Finally, now I'll try to be good."

"Oh look, the sky is fucked up! And look, something bad is happening to Rainbow Dash! Clearly this is unrelated to whatever happened to the sky! GET HIM!"

He's right. These girls are idiots.

[Divem]

4984150

Well, from what I got of the situation, he was partially to blame for Rainbow Dash's state. Destiny or whatever had decided to make him the villain, and by not acting villainous, he was causing a kind of back-lash. He also recognized this, and refused to play to any of the cues he was given. Quentin/Dresden wasn't expecting how bad she'd get, and wasn't expecting Destiny to hurt Rainbow for how he was defying it, but he did consciously decide to make that defiance.

[ErikPhantom]

Awwww yeahhhhhh.
33k words of awesome. Well done man, a few dropped letters near the beginning I think but nothing too obtrusive.
Excellent story, looking forward to more soon.

[RanmaChaos]

Awesome

[Flutters Is Shy]

Re-reading it made it even better but...
daaaaaangit!
I want more! This gets better the farther you write! I cant wait to see where you take this, I wish there was someway I could refer this to others...

[RanmaChaos]

I like the "enemy" that Bjorn will be facing.
It's clear who you think Best Pony is.
Ponies are really disguised Eldritch abominations? This is only the second time that little revelation has put a smile on my face, the first was in Pchn00's "My Little Overlord", Twilight learned that ponies are really demons.
How old is Bjorn? When this started I would have guessed mid to late twenties but now I think he's in his late 50's.

[Moongaze14]

I got to say that this chapter was amazing. Seeing Dresden defeat the girls in an argument was incredible and the way that Twilight tried to hide the humans' existence, along with the line of Pinkie's grandpa and the sequels of the jaw drop, made me laugh. The serious moments such as Rarity's anger and RD's torture by the villain were intense. Still, I'm confused as to what's happening at the moment and. I hope the next chapter comes soon, so that we can know how the cliffhanger end. BTW, tanks for this amazing chapter.

[Flutters Is Shy]

4984945
Gaaaaaah, dang man, give me a friggin heart attack, why dont you?
I couldnt remember writing that it was so long ago, I thought for a brief moment that someone had hacked my profile.

[Snow]

Yet another splendid cliffhanger before another month or two of silence... I really wish I could resist the urge to read these stories before they were marked 'complete'.

[DaveTheBrony]

Totally understand where Pinkie is coming from, dad is awesome like that too. It is especially funny when he does the whole tentacles from the face thing at parties, always great to see grown men scream like little girls.

[The Well Dressed Ninja]

Great chapter, a bit corny towards the end there, killer cliffhanger.

The way I'd like to see this continue is a bunch of short chapters until the current conflict is resolved. Then another big build up to start up the next conflict.

[Balewood]

Im going to have to reread this afew times to make sure I didn't miss anything, but so far this is nothing but awesome. 33k went by so quickly I that I didn't even notice until I hit the author's note. The tearing down... the verbal beatdown he gave the girls was inspired at afew points I particularly liked Pinkies bit. The ending is... evil cliffhanger stuff I guess I don't know yet. I also find it amusing that despite being the longest chapter so little time passed. Anyway need to say thanks for writing.

[Cadmium]

Great chapter but its sad that we will have to wait so long for the next one even if it is worth it when it finally arrives the time waiting for it is horrible!

And a 30k workds "reason you suck speech" to the ponies? That was fucking brilliant even if the story itself didn't get advanced very far beyond introducing what i would call the main conflict for the current arc and establishing his view on the general principles governing the world here.
And the revelation that ponies or possibly only pinkie are descendants of eldritch abominations who settled down and where all about friendship is hilarious.

[ngrey651]

Saying something is best represented by its extreme and the worst it CAN be is intellectual dishonest and dickish. It's a straw man. It's overgeneralizing. Can we just rename him Harry Dickhead instead? With an attitude like that he deserves to be without magic.

[Lord Of Dorkness]

4983848

Thank you, and fixed.

Despite how freaked out he was, Black couldn't quite stop a nervous couple of giggles from forcing themselves out. “Yeah, I don’t think that would have gone over well!"

Just in case you were curious about the how the line should have ended. Must have been a mistake during the transfer, or something.

4984150
4984223

To be fair to the girls, they're the closest we've seen on screen to Equestria's version of special forces...

And they still run around in the nude when fighting the eldritch horror of the week. Usually they don't even get to use the royal carriages to get to the threat, but have to use the train.

Come to think about it, I'm not even sure if they got the fare paid for that first time in the Crystal Empire.

4984870

Ponies are really disguised Eldritch abominations? This is only the second time that little revelation has put a smile on my face, the first was in Pchn00's "My Little Overlord", Twilight learned that ponies are really demons.

Well, now I know a fic to move from 'unread' to favorites!

Disguised? Well now, that wouldn't be very Honest, now would it?

How old is Bjorn? When this started I would have guessed mid to late twenties but now I think he's in his late 50's.

Björn is 63. Not much of a spoiler given some of the things said in this chapter, but it will be spelled out in the next one, so...

And for the obvious follow up, he is physically about the 30 mark thanks to the Dresden thing.

In general cynicism plus the mix of English and Swedish upbringing, he's mentally about 6000, or thereabout, though.

4984311

Thank you!

Wouldn't happen to be able to point me in their direction, though? Fixed one instance of words missing from the upload already, but better safe than sorry.

[devas]

4985750

To be fair, he was cornered and had the equivalent of a gun pointed at his head (I still don't understand why the girls didn't blast him as soon as he opened his arms and broke the circle).

People have been intellectually disingenuous for much, much less.

[ngrey651]

4985797

The "but they did it first" or "but they did it too" argument is a five year old's argument. Can we please treat our friend here like the adult he is supposed to be, unlike the girls, who are young adults and thus, we can excuse them, to a degree, acting reckless?

[Lord Of Dorkness]

4985750

It might have been a bit lost thanks to the first-person perspective, but I truly did try having both sides have a point.

If it makes any difference, I was going for some rather extreme culture clash, and Björn having some really weird hang-ups about fighting, probably muddling the issue further.

Compare these two lines about magic, and you might see what I was at least going for:

“What? It’s a highly useful and pretty element with many practical applications... and the slight downside that it will eat your face if you aren't careful and treat it with the respect such forces deserve. Using fire metaphors when talking about magic makes perfect sense.”

Black seemed slightly irritated with my… well, utter bafflement to be blunt, but he took a deep breath and continued on at a steady lecture. “They are Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter and Honesty, and when they come together they create Magic, the greatest of the Elements. And as long as you keep those in mind and try to live by them, you will never lose that spark.”

Basically, Björn wants the mob that has come for him to go back home, grab the proper torches and pitchforks, and give the whole farce a better go next time so it can happen properly. That, and he's furious that what he sees as major magical artifacts is being used at, as he sees it, in the hands of untrained civilians and at about half the power they could be.

The girls on the other hand are mortified down to the cores with the idea that what is to them the purest and noblest of ideals could as much as have a dark side. To put it a bit simplified they are used to black and white, and now the strange creature from another world has just described the horrible new shade 'grey.' Not only that, but to them the villain laying down his weapons and trying to in earnest settle a conflict is simply not something that happens in real life.

I'm sorry if you (and any others) felt that Björn was shouting at straw-mares as the case may be, but I hope the above at least shows there was more thought put into this chapter then: "How can I make the Mane Six look bad?"

And if it is any consolation, Rarity's freak-out at the end simply wouldn't have happened if Björn hadn't slammed so many buttons on the girls already, so in that sense he shot himself in the foot. There's going to be many more consequences from this chapter than that, but that one has already happened so I'm not spoiling anything by pointing at it.

4985797

People have been intellectually disingenuous for much, much less.

Not what I was going for, but also a very good point.

I still don't understand why the girls didn't blast him as soon as he opened his arms and broke the circle).

Because good-guys don't shoot first, and since the villain was monologue-ing that would have not only been wrong but also rude. ()

Insert-Han-Solo-joke-here, I guess, but both Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon both did and got away with it, so I think it fits the girls slash MLP universe.

4985928

The "but they did it first" or "but they did it too" argument is a five year old's argument. Can we please treat our friend here like the adult he is supposed to be, unlike the girls, who are young adults and thus, we can excuse them, to a degree, acting reckless?

This one I'm going to defend thought!

Björn is not only really damn immature for his age, but he's still hung-up on those three rules of 'Quentin,' since it was (as he saw it) his only saving graces during the bad old days.

So that bit isn't a bug, it a feature. (IE, an intentional character flaw.)

I know full well it can still be annoying, but once again, I hope at least the logic to the madness shines through.

[ngrey651]

4985953

Fair enough. But our little friend should know he's not in his own world. Whatever rules he thought applied...they don't. Not here. Different culture, a literal embodiment of chaos was one of the girl's biggest threats, his rules don't apply. "This is not your world, Will! I've finally found it, and it's glorious and real and...it's not BEANS". As Heath Ledger character said in the Brother's Grimm. So I was surprised to see him be so astounded the elements are what they are.

So summoning a firey maelstrom is believable. Summoning beasts? Oh, sure, a wizard can do that. LEVITATION, Holmes. The power to move you youth out even touching you? Sure, I'll buy that. ANGELS AND DEMONS? Oh, absolutely! But embodiments of virtue being literal magical powers, THAT? THAT is just overdoing it? The Dresden realm has fairies and werewolves and zombies but FRIENDSHIP BEING MAGIC is too silly?

That's like...you know what I'm getting at. Nothing should surprise somebody like him.

[Ranakastrasz]

4985972 No.
That is not how incredulity works. Or how it is supposed to work.
Every new thing is supposed to be unacceptable until you can accept it. If it is blatantly linked to one or more things that you already accept, fine. Otherwise, it is ridiculous and won't be accepted.
He became Dresden. After accepting that, as well Dresden type magic, as well as physically seeing Equestrians, he was able to accept quite a few things. However, Magic coming from friendship is nowhere on the list.
Arbitrary Skepticism is what this looks like, but is itself invalid. When you have fantastic things occurring around you, you accept them as mundane, and classify them as such. Anything new that is fantastic will not be considered more likely to occur on account of that. Well, unless you already believe in everything.

[ngrey651]

4986587

Please explain why a magician should be less prone to believe in fantastic things. It's like Superman not believing in time travel or the X-Men not believing in alternate universities. You should always be receptive to such things, ESPECIALLY if you're a magic wielder!

[Lord Of Dorkness]

4986587
4986605

If we've passed the TVTropes threshold, anyway...

I'd point at this one instead.

For example, according to the MLP comics, Luna's moon has an breathable atmosphere.

But since Björn doesn't know that, he assumes it to be like ours, that doesn't have a breathable atmosphere.

In that example, the Mane Six would be giving Björn very, very funny looks if he sat down and started calculating how to be certain he could breathe there, while Björn in turn would be extremely reluctant to believe the M6 went to the moon via enchanted lasso without some rather strong proof.

Stuff like that. Hope that helps with understanding how I'm trying to write Björn.

[ngrey651]

4986639

Okay, I can understand that, I suppose.

[Divem]

4986605

I believe the situation here is that becoming Dresden has also given him Dresden's preconceptions. If you're an expert in your field, having something that completely changes what you know is going to take longer for you to accept than for someone who is coming into the field with no knowledge whatsoever.

Harry Dresden knows magic. He knows the rules for magic, and he has a decent idea of what is and is not possible. Björn has inherited that, and his first few days in Equestria haven't invalidated that knowledge. His magic works, little things like the purity of salt works, circles work. A lot of the inconsistencies can be explained by differences in belief, which has a big impact in what Dresdenverse magic can do.

And to be completely honest, I'm not sure why you're so insistent that he be 'more receptive.' It took a bit for him to get his head around the concept, but I didn't read Björn outright disbelieving Black about the elements. He took a few moments to think about it, and then accepted it, while stating that the idea was amusing by his cultural standards.

[Ranakastrasz]

4986605 No. A magician, and any other sapient person should only believe in things he has reasonably proof of. He should only believe things that he knows exist. He wants to believe the truth.

Litany of Tarski
If the sky is blue
I desire to believe that the sky is blue
If the sky is not blue
I desire to believe that the sky is not blue.

Naturally, being a person, able to be amused and being imperfect, he will not be able to follow any of this perfectly. Any changes that, even if true, seem ridiculous, are going to be reacted to in the way Bjorn did. However, having multiple points of evidence, and more importantly, as multiple local people believed in them, following or accepting those beliefs, true or not, tends to result in less conflict.

If I were in a fantasy world, I wouldn't immediately accept zombies as possible. At least not until At least two people state they exist in the new reality, or I already recognize the fantasy universe from a fictional universe back home as having them. And, even if it was totally unexpected, I would still treat any fantasy concept as being possible, and if such seems to have occurred, I will treat it as being likely to be true enough until I gain more information.

4986639 True enough. He had his home reality's rules in mind. They were partly overridden or added to by Dresdenverse rules. Then they are now being overridden and added to by Ponyverse rules. The Dresdenverse rules were largely added psionically brain alterations, but were also shown locally to be not entirely valid.

[ngrey651]

4986773

Magic defies logic and evidence. Seeing isn't believing. You gotta keep your mind wide open and believe ANYTHING is possible and only doubt when something is proven to have not existed. Until then, it's innocent until proven guilty, or rather, possible until proven impossible. Remember Hermione's foolish approach in Harry Potter? She was completely wrong.

[Ranakastrasz]

4986790 No. This is a MLP and Dresden Files fanfic. Dresden files has well detailed and documented magic system following set rules and you are fully capable of predicting how magic works, and might be able to even guess plans based on that. It follows logic and evidence. It might not work in reality, but in Dresdenverse, you can scientifically analyze magic and figure out how most things work. Admittedly, outsiders, being eldrich abominations, violate those rules some of the time, but aside from that, everything is possible to figure out. (And even they follow some rules, and if you didn't die horribly or get psionically assaulted, you could learn their rules as well)
As for Hermione, well, I haven't read the books for a while. However, Harry potter's universe's magic also follows rules, although it is a huge mess in comparison. I don't recall where Hermione failed as such, but if you point out where, I might be able to accept that.

In any case, Magic always follows some rules. Worst case, anyone trying to figure them out fails because the DM/Author/A god/ Magic itself doesn't want someone to understand it and constantly blocks them. Which is infuriating. I like people who treat magic like anything else that is part of reality. Because it is.

Edit: I should probably add that for a short duration after a new revelation, you resistance to new ideas is shaken and you can accept more ideas pretty quickly. However, after around a day, you will have internalized (to an extent) those new idea(s) and treat them as normal. Even if you intellectually classify them as supernatural, they exist, and are accepted, and are in fact natural. Well unless created by sapient being. Anything made by humans are really supernatural, although oddly called artificial.

[ngrey651]

4986823

But this isn't, again, Dresden's world. Stop trying to be the doctor from the Shining and be Dick Hallorann. Stop being the council and be Capt Anderson. You gotta learn to take things on faith.

[Ranakastrasz]

4986924 But this isn't, again, Dresden's world. Stop trying to be the doctor from the Shining and be Dick Hallorann. Stop being the council and be Capt Anderson. You gotta learn to take things on faith.
Perhaps, but this again isn't me in the universe. It is Bjorn with Dresden's magical education copy-pasted into his brain. He accepts his old world's rules. He also accepts Dresden's rules. Anything in the Ponyverse that maps to either of those rule sets are fine for him. Anything similar but different (Elements for example) will be bizzare and confusing, but possible to accept.

I have no idea who the first one is. As for the Mass effect reference, I see their actions as rather justified, because in their knowledge set, it is totally reasonable to dismiss those claims, especially from unreliable witnesses. That and the fact that they are probably indoctrinated, being that the citadelis a reaper construct...

Regardless, I have my opinion, and you have your's. I've read a number of proper science-magic hybrid universes. Dungeon Keeper Ami. Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. Finishing the Fight (Halo + Neverwinter Nights). Quantum Castaways. And Dresden Files itself. I don't see magic as anything, well, Magical. At least in the second sense of the word, as something incomprehensible and amazing. I see it as a natural phenomina that any scientist worth their salt (excluding all holiwood scientists, as well as most skeptics in fiction) will be able to learn rules about, and abuse those rules to make something amazing. Or at least predict how it works. As in, It is just like that bottled lighting you use to power your arcane thinking maching which can telepathically communicate with millions of other thinking machines across the planet, which you use to have this argument with me. If that isn't sufficiently anylized magic at work, what is? And don't you tell me that isn't "magical".

But in all seriousness, I doubt I will convince you to see things from my point of view, and I will never again see magic as incomprehensible.

[Snow]

After sleeping on it, I've come to some conclusions about this story...

First, I don't much care for the usage of 'destiny as an antagonist' in MLP story settings. Without house-ruling it in to the setting to provide an easy plot point and Big Bad for the protagonist, the forces of 'fate' and 'destiny' are almost entirely benign in this setting, with only antagonists that work strictly proactively and with excessive cruelty are actually punished irrevocably. Even Nightmare Moon and Discord got an 'out'. The latter possibly not intentionally, but it was the Elements that released him from the stone prison the second time. Chrysalis wasn't even killed by destiny, she was only expelled along with her swarm. And they were knocked to a location with plenty of food that accepted them without question. (Unfortunately they turned it into a crapsack place really quick through over-eating and pointless cruelty but she was still given the CHANCE).

Second and expanding upon the first, I hate it when the Elements themselves are the antagonistic force behind the first point. 'Hard Reset' was (for me) a good story DESPITE that plot point, not BECAUSE of it, in my mind. Any time they've been demonstrated being used, they have done so with as much mercy and positive effect as possible at that time. Nightmare Moon got sent to her room for awhile, and as Alicorns are apparently immortal, this is essentially being grounded. During that time, Equestria has progressed into a society which Luna herself could find enjoyable and welcoming. In a way, even being locked away was the kindest thing they could have done for her, albeit that way is a 'cruel to be kind' way.

Third, I assume we've hit upon the timeline at just the moment that they have to return the Elements to the Tree of Harmony anyway in order to save Celestia and Luna, because of the whole day-night thing, and because there... really isn't any reason why post-Alicorn Twilight they should be carrying around the fancy jewelry.

Below here: Wild Mass Guessing

Fourth, I find it far more likely that the Elements are reacting less to their bearers, but instead are responding to what virtues Dresden is showing during his rant, and had he touched Honesty the reaction would have been far different than Loyalty. With this in mind, I believe that any loss of magic caused by the Elements of Harmony would be because (in a sort of Checkhov's Gun... Checkhov's Phrase? Foreshadowing to the extreme) he is at best only 'acceptably' demonstrating Honesty, and if he WAS stripped of said magic, it would return if he could come into tune with the others.

Fifth, Dash alone is being punished because she is in some way exhibiting disloyalty and is conflicted, made moreso when Dresden shows compassion. If the Elements as a whole (or Harmony) were opposed to him, they would ALL react. Something that I don't think Dresden would miss. He's a devious and clever son of a hay bale.

Sixth, In this Universe - and Dresden is unfortunately not familiar with the setting or he'd know this - Dark is not Evil. The symbolism he so disregards as 'black and white' and 'childish' is likely far deeper than 'good against bad' and 'us against them'. Day and Night are two parts of the same whole, and Dresden himself is a dark and troubled character, but as much a force for good as Twilight and company are. Hay, if during his night of vexing luna actually won her RESPECT (a definite possibility given her personality), the night following him might actually be (if I'm correct about the timeline) her power reaching out to him as Celestia is reaching for HER trusted champions. The reason Dresden triggered Dash to go all BSoD is because by stepping from Night into Day, he himself is driving home that he is CHOOSING to walk in the light.

Also, I'd appreciate a PM if this is going to be a Parliment of Dreams-esque reveal of Equestria as a crappsacharine world where (in this case) Harmony is the single greatest benevolent (to ponies) tyrant around. I'd like to stop reading right now if that's the case.

[nightmaster0]

Great chapter.

[Newenglandee]

4987268

Your viewpoint is really fucking depressing, unimaginative and cynical. I'm guessing you're the kind of guy who likes to tell kids there's no such thing as Santa Claus and ruin everybody by telling people the tricks behind Penn and Teller's acts?

[fahad09]

Why....

Why....

Why the hell doesn't this fic has more up-votes? I mean barely over two hundred, really? While a 3000 word clop-fic gets featured and a thousand votes in a week! How the hell is that fair?

This is one of the greatest stories on this site so why doesn't it get the recognition it deserves?

[Ranakastrasz]

4987541 Naw, If I didn't like fantasy I wouldn't be a fan of My little pony. I just prefer my reality, or those I play in, to support learning and be realistic. I haven't seen any fantasy scenario that has magic without rules someone could learn. The ones that are powered by human (as in flawed) gods, sure, you can't game those rules, but the rest, you could. But noone ever bothers...

Also, I am cynical. I personally would prefer noone started up the nonsense about Santa or otherwise in the first place. It teaches children that it is OK to lie to people, which admittedly is not entirely invalid. Later at least, when people give others gifts knowingly, it sort of helps social bonds, but building that on a lie seems like a bad idea. However, I wouldn't go around telling children about that, seeing as I would prefer them to learn that on their own. Telling someone something is rarely as effective as them being interested in the truth. And it makes them more likely to be curious and skepticle in the future, which would make them more likely to learn truths themselves.

Or not. I am not really an expert.

Oh, and I have no idea who Penn and Teller are.

Also, imaginatine is sort of critical. Aside from allowing new ideas to create new inventions and create new awsome stuff, it is also what allows this community to flurish. If not for Lord of Dorkness's imagination, as well as that of Lauren Fause and Jim Butcher, I would not have has this fun story to read. And I wouldnt have the chance to argue about the mechanics of a fictional universe created for the entertainment of people

[ErikPhantom]

4985762
I'll re-read the chapter tonight and see if I can find them.

P.s That has to be the best "reasons you suck" speech I've read.

[Newenglandee]

4987609

Viewing everything like that sucks the joy and wonder out of fantasy. More often than not, it's better to not explain how something works. Leave it up to the viewer's imaginations. Take the infamous "Noodle incident" from Calvin and Hobbes. Had the comic actually EXPLAINED what it was, it wouldn't be nearly as funny.

Much of fantasy work is like that. Things are left fantastical, unexplained and strange because that's part of what makes them work. By keeping the mystery around, it permeates an aura of continued wonder from the reader or viewer. Even in sci-fi you don't explain everything. "When does this all take place?" "Oh, in the year 20-grumble grumble". Stay vague, don't commit!

[Ranakastrasz]

4988318 Yes, which is why I often accept such things to an extent, unless they get too unreasonable. However, I am always enthusiastic about universes which handle magic, or scifi technology in that way, because I at least find it fun. Dresden files leaves quite a few things a mystery, but a lot of things are actually well explained.

[Newenglandee]

4988340

Good point. I apologize for running my mouth at you like that.

[ErikPhantom]

4985762
Welp Either you've fixed them already or I was thinking of another story when I wrote that.

Hmm or maybe the previous chapter since I read that to refresh my memory.

Oh well, looks good to me.

[Ranakastrasz]

4988802 Eh I don't mind. I personally find it fun trying to explain my views to other people. Admittedly, most other people probably do too. And I don't blame you for doing so. It was a fun conversation. Still, preferable to let it die here, because this is off topic.

If you want to discuss Scientific fantasy however, PM me.

[Dragonlover553]

Were I him, I'd already be working on anti- magic loss countermeasures. By Dresden Files logic, he always HAD magic, he could just (as a mortal) barley use it. And wasn't aware of it's existence. And didn't have all of those powers(the Sight, Soulgaze, etc). So while his personal magic is safe, his artifacts are not. Were I him, I'd work on creating some kind of extra-dimensional safe, with a spell that allowed me to access it by saying a certain word, but the spell wouldn't be on me, it'd be on the safe itself.

[Dragonlover553]

4987609 ever read The Obsidian Trilogy? Wild magic there doesn't have any real rules. However, it's a living, conscious force, and always demands a proportional price. And it has the power to reject a mage's call. Of course, there is also Endarkened and High Magic there, but Wild is the best(at least from my perspective). Endarkened magic is evil, plain and simple, and High magic is mechanical. Robotic. Filled with rules and regulations, boring. Wild magic actually actively seeks be make it's users better people.

[Zaralann]

Awesome chapter!

[Dragonlover553]

“I was trying to help!”

Is magical genius. Doesn't know that help is only help if it's wanted.

[Ranakastrasz]

4989230 I would note that wild magic qualifies as one of those magics that is guided by a sapient being, (or magic itself) and hence is fully capable of altering it's rules to prevent anyone from understanding it.

As for what endarkened magic being "Evil, plain and simple" means, well, that tends to be blury. Is it corrupting, meaning users try to use it more? Is it just magic that violates standard moral code, such as murder or torture, as well as standard fantasy necromancy being bad?

After all, Evil magics, such as Harry potter universe's three unforgivible curses (and obliviation and legilimancy, which is often considered just as bad) which might be considered dark magic. The killing curse instantly kills what it hits. I can't recall if the official books state it as "severing the soul from the body" but I know some fanfics do. That shouldn't be any morally darker than killing someone with a gun, or rather a machine gun considering that the second isn't really survivable. Or for that matter with one of hundreds of other easily fatal spells. Like full body bind followed by levetation, fallowed by dropping someone to death.

As for Imperio, mind control is widely considered evil, and has no corresponding real life concept (or not anything outside theoretical phases that I know of) but is considered morally bad or evil. While I would say using it to prevent someone who is trying to kill you from doing so, unless it also ignores all shielding or is hard to avoid/block, any stunning spell should be easier and more morally sound.

Crucio, the torture curse, is as evil as you consider tourture. Except it also has the side effect of breaking the target's mind if sustained for a long enough time. As morally acceptable as tourture is otherwise, which is a resounding NO. Especially when you consider the next. This has some basis in reality. It is getting to the point where we can probably invoke pain or other nerve responces without directly harming a person. It isn't widely enough used for real morality to have determined. Still I consider it evil.

Legilimancy, or mind reading, also often called mind-rape. Mind volation. Negates any need for torture, seeing as it allows direct knowledge extraction. Can be used for fully acceptable uses, like any telepathic link, although I am pretty sure it requires constant eye contact. Morally neutral, mostly would be used for torture bypass or for people sharing information concepts rapidly without communication issues.

Obliviate, or the memory charm/memory altering spell. Memory alteration is often considered to kill the person who had their memory altered, replacing them with a different person. It is very useful for secrecy, scams, and otherwise. Also it can probably be used to treat mental illness or PTSD. Admittedly, some fanfictions (unsure about canon) state it to be less effective for tramatic memories, making that unlikely. Memory alteration is heavily questionable.

Again, all of these, despite being considered dark/evil magic (although the last two aren't in canon) are not really much worse than alternate methods of doing the same thing. Admittedly, the three mind altering ones mostly overlap with medicine, but Imperio is only abusable as far as I can see.

Most spells can be used to kill if used creativly. Magic is a tool. Dark magic is usually those spells that are less able to be used for non-violence.

In Dungeon Keeper Ami, Ami figures out that a wither spell (causes the target to wither and die in seconds) worked by causing cells to age rapidly. This results in them building up carbon dioxide, as well as dying from malnutrition. Hence she made an altered version to maintain on plants, which along with very nutritious soil and high powered lighting (and a fire proof spell to avoid the light igniting them) made crops grow around 20 times faster. Which shows that even dark magic can be used for mundane purposes.

[Lord Of Dorkness]

4987499

Give me an hour or so to think about how much to say without spoiling things for you on the other stuff...

But I'll say this much right now:

Also, I'd appreciate a PM if this is going to be a Parliment of Dreams-esque reveal of Equestria as a crappsacharine world where (in this case) Harmony is the single greatest benevolent (to ponies) tyrant around. I'd like to stop reading right now if that's the case.

That is not, I repeat, NOT what I'm going for.

Thank you so much for the feedback, though.