Prologue - A Glimpse of Ice and Fire
The Crystal Empire was on fire.
Don’t ask me how.
And it wasn't my fault!
...Well, not directly. I’m fairly certain that would hold in a court.
The ground shook, as one of the squat crystal buildings collapsed inward. It was being consumed from within by those strange green flames that mother Godzilla fucking sized dragon had spewed everywhere.
“Wizard!” The bastard in question bellowed loud enough that it rivaled how Luna had sounded in Canterlot. Well, before she got a face-full of wizard that saw little reason in being slow to anger. “You’ll pay for your crimes!”
All that destruction and most likely death, the loss of who knew how many unique wonders… and he couldn't even figure out something more original to shout in challenge than that? Fucking morons these days.
I sighed and considered my options. The green and purple giant twit was an utter idiot, whoever he was. He’d easily already caused ten times the damage I’d done over my whole so called ‘rampage.’ Swings of that freight train tail of his, those unnatural flames, swipes in blind fury…
All in all, the bit of the town we were in was probably a total loss. Those ancient, beautiful and wonderful buildings, gone thanks to a overgrown child’s temper tantrum. I felt my hand tighten around my staff without actually willing it do so, something vile and dark rising in my chest at the sight. What an utter waste this was.
All because of that freaking Crayola laboratory escapee. I wiped dust of my... uh, duster, as another building collapsed in the distance. Now, ample proof to the contrary aside, I was not a violent man. But that prismatic pony prick? Her I’d like to backhand the head off.
With a sigh, I moved out of the shadow I’d thickened with a well chosen spell. It had served me well, but now I had two choices.
Flee, and almost certainly live. Leaving this place to its fate.
Two, try to save everyb- pony, all that knowledge, all that art, and all else of value. Just like the noble idiot I now resembled.
I swear I felt my heart break a little as I saw this neat little magic shop I’d been in only hours ago crumble like the dreams of a model with a healthy BMI. I saw those cursed green flames lick over bookshelves, knickknacks and who knows what else, now lost forever.
I groaned and took a precious moment to curse my twisted freaking morals with my head in my hands. “Harry, you are an idiot.” I realized what I’d just said, what I’d called myself, and leaned my head back, cackling this cracked laugh that didn't sound quite sane even in my own ears. “Big freaking surprise there!”
I shook my head to clear the wave of mania, making the thrice damned pentacle amulet dash around against my chest. Now was not the time for navel gazing.
The runes on what had once been my old hockey-stick but now as twisted as I was, lit from within by a pale blue light as I started channeling soul fire into my staff. I’d probably only get a few shots on the bastard but by Jove, I would make him feel them for the rest of his wasted existence.
I raised my staff high with both hands, its tip blazing like a beacon in the night. The sky began to boil even before the spell was done, as I used all I’d learned of weather magic in this world to whip the sky into a fury of such intensity that it had seldom been seen even in my own world. My duster whipping around was distracting, but nothing I couldn't ignore.
The beast noticed and looked straight at me at about the point the wind started to feel as if it would blow me off my feet.
A wicked, almost feral grin split my face. Perfect. Eat this, you abomination!
“Fulminos!” I screamed as I slammed my staff into the ground, the soul fire augmented spell shooting straight into the sky. Deep into the very heart of the darkest storm-cloud.
For a moment, all was still except the flames. Even the sky seemed to freeze. Then almost in slow motion a web of sparks converged straight over the gaping dragon’s head, formed into a single point almost too bright to look at…
...and the freakin' finger of God reached down, as a screaming blue waterfall of soul fire laced thunder crashed down into the raging monster. The last thing I saw before I throw my arm over my face was a screaming black draconic outline that seared itself to my retinas.
I’d started screaming at about the time that spot formed. It was all just so loud. I hadn't even realized the wall of sound had thrown me several meters until I felt the cold cobbles under my back.
I got trembling to my knees, but the soul fire and the spell had taken too much. I just couldn't make my aching body move anymore then that. I’d heard the phrase ‘bone weary’ many times, but now I actually felt it. This fatigue that was so deep it was almost an ache, reaching down from my skin into the freaking bone. My smoking staff fell from my unresistant involuntary twitching fingers and clattered away. I tried to blink the after images away, but my freaking eyelids barely cooperated.
That was when the damn bastard got to his feet, shook his head as if he’d been stung by a gnat and zeroed his luminescent green eyes straight at me. “What a waste of talent you are.”
I just couldn't’ help it. I started laughing. This deep, echoing belly laugh I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. Even the dragon seemed a bit disturbed by it, judging from how he hesitated.
Trembling and still laughing, I got to my feet. It took three tries thanks to how shaky I was, but I managed to get my staff. Fuck all the fucking consequences this fucking wizard dies on his fucking feet.
My laugh died in my throat, as everything started frosting over. The walls, the ground, a fountain that had diligently been spluttering out water despite being mostly a footprint froze so quickly that half a burst froze midair. It clattered to the ground and shattered, as even my freaking eyebrows turned white from the verglas quickly covering everything within sight.
Once things had gotten so cold that even the freaking moment seemed half solidified and I swear I saw a few flames stop dancing, she stepped out of thin air. Not a flicker of even the hint of power. She just stepped forward, as if the air itself had been naught but a bead curtain.
She was beyond beautiful. The type of undying, immortal beauty I’d only seen trice, and all within this world. The curves of the finest glaciers, skin and hair as white as the fairest snow, perfect lips curved into a small smile and the color of frozen mulberries …
Slitted green cat eyes, sparkling with inhuman intelligence and barely contained humor, but as cold as the very core of hell itself.
Her glamour was intoxicating, but her power was such that even that realization barely caused a flicker of her glory to vanish. As if this coating of snow had been blown away only to show you the ancient dark glacier underneath.
She was the type of beautiful men have waged war and slaughtered their own brothers for… but I felt only dread. I dared not take my eyes of her and my mouth was dry enough to stop me from speaking, but I bowed my head deep. My hands trembled on my staff, and not only from the cold and fatigue.
I had to swallow twice before my mouth would cooperate. “Hail and well met, Oh fair Queen of Air and Darkness. May I humbly ask for what reason you have come here?” My eyes flickered to the dragon that was slowly backing off, not taking his eyes of the fae. “Now might not be the best time, however. May we perhaps take a rain-check?”
That moment was enough. I didn't even see her move. Suddenly, I was just choking with her vice-like grip around my throat and my back against the nearest wall.
This nearest wall of course being a hundred meters away from where I’d stood just moments before. Fuck my freaking life.
The something that almost made me lose what little control of my body I had left happened. Her grip turned… gentle, and she smiled at me. It was as inhumanly beautiful as the rest of her, but I’d seen frozen corpses with more warmth left in them. The small smile frankly did not seem to be of this world, but some strangely twisted one where absolute zero was just a gentle suggestion. “Well met, twisted double of my Knight in sour armor. I have followed your recent career with great interest, Björn Jönsson.”
She let go off me, but I didn't fall. The rime on the wall just reached out and shackled me in ice before I could as much as twitch. I shuddered, but not from the touch of ice. She knew my name, and that was a grim thing for such a being to know.
She put her hands at navel level, making me realize for the first time that she wore nothing but a light coating of frost that sparkled in the light. What can I say? I’m not really Harry, I just look like him. I personally thought the fey queen more pressing to notice then her ‘ensemble.’ She gave three slow claps, smiling all the while. “You know enough to fear. Good. You of course know that my kind cannot lie?”
I gave a stiff nod, my neck fixed mostly by the ice collar. It seemed to satisfy her, though.
She leaned in and spoke in a voice so cold it made my ear feel as if on fire. “When I saw first that some pretender was using my Knight’s face and name, I was enraged.” The last word reverberated with her power, making me flinch. I felt something warm start dripping, and it felt as if a tiny icicle had been driven through my ear. “But alas, the guardians of this realm are vigilant indeed. My kind has barely seen these shores since the sisters rose to power. I could barely watch, let alone set things in motion to punish your insolence.”
The pain in my ear was still nothing to the terror I felt at her next words. Words spoken in humor that made these mad giggles dance at the edges of my mind. “And then, you did something far too few mortals have done. You amused me.”
Her smile grew wider without touching her eyes. It was like having a two meter fox smile in your face. “And of course, the guardians are thanks to those same actions that amused me…” She sucked in a shuddering, almost orgasmic breath. “...unavailable.”
She patted the side with my wounded ear, a jab of cold so deep it burned flickering through the wound before my hearing returned. “Few things pleases me so deeply as mortal struggle, little jester who wears my Knight's helm. The step after what should have been the last as the hounds bays draw closer. The breath wrestled from the storm itself by the drowning man. The scorned prophet that dare the very heavens to strike him down.” She looked towards the dragon who just stood there, seemingly mortified. “The knight who picks up his shattered sword and battered shield for one last charge of defiance.”
No…
She clutched her hands over her bosom, seemingly as giddy as a schoolgirl. “So, Mr. Jönsson…”
She ran both hands across her hips slowly and sensually, making sure I saw everything. Despite myself and the situation… well, I am a man.
“I've never had the chance of a loophole to have two bearers of my mantle before. Shall we…” Her hands moved to cup her breast as her smile near impossibly grew even wider. “...strike a deal?”
I regret nothiiiiiiiiiing!
Seriously though, a fun idea I think could be something and that refused to leave my head until banished to paper. Hopefully it will be as fun to read as it has been to write so far.
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All my yes, just take them.
You sir are a great person. FAVEd!!!
Death, snark, and magic!
It's... beautiful...
Sorry... I just need a moment...
crumble like the dreams of a model with a healthy BMI.
Perfectly Jim Butcher
Wow... that was great.
Haven't came this hard since Caster introduced herself in Fate/Extra.
I should've seen something like this coming. Time for another fave and like.
I want to say, from everybody that is a Dresden fan, thank you for adding this guy in this verse. Your portrayal of faux-Harry is very identical to that of Butcher's Harry. It always makes me happy when someone does a crossover with Dresden because the portrayals of Harry nearly matches those of the real book. Damn, if I didn't know better I would say that you and the authors of Dresden Fillies, Tales of a Wizard, and My Little Drenarians are Jim Butcher in disguise. Thats how good you guys write Dresden. My asskissing aside, I've enjoyed the shocker that not only Mab, and by extension the real Harry Dresden, exist but that she wants your guy to be her Knight in Equestria. Something tells me that, being forced to have the Dresden luck, everypony is going find out how Mab "recruited" Björd. If that were to happen it would make my day. Overall, this is a great story and I hope to see more of it.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe this meme is better suited for this situation:
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-reanimate-a-dinosaur.png
Since he became Dresden could we say he was... Björn again?
I'll leave now.
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3979021
I was rather proud of that one.
3980370
Aw, you're making me blush.
Still, I'm surprised nobody but Jimmy has pulled that type of stuff yet.
lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/TheMultiverseTheory-73220.jpg
I realize it won't be applicable for every character, but Mab just seemed like somebody with the power to not only notice 'faux Harry' but be somewhat ticked.
And I hope none of this ends up predictable, especially the stuff with Mab. That's one of the greatest things about the original books in my opinion and I hope I manage to capture that.
3981990
Ohh... Shiny!
3982781
No! Don't leave! Puns
feed my dork powersamuse me!Seriously though, good one.
it's should be its, due to it being possesive, instead of a contraction of "it is"
freakin' should have an apostrophe on the end.
Comma should be Semicolon. Probably. (Am not entirely sure on the rules. You have a lot of places where I think this is the case, but I am not sufficiently sure of the rules to be certain for most of them)
fea should be fae.
vice like should be vice-like
4024553
Just removed the comma. It does indeed sound better now. The rest are also fixed.
Thank you!
The word fuck should be in this sentence more.
4055639
Fuck all fucking the fucked fucking fuck consequences, fuck this fucking wizard fuck dies fucking on fuck-his-ing fucking feet.
Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck.
4033645
ello!~
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hockey stick? He's cosplaying Dresden from the show? Wtf, man. Have a fave and an upvote anyway.
4085588 now that's just plain rude.
3978841
...
...-is confusing.
3980982
...Your profile pic is my reaction to your comment.
1) Is that supposed to be Spike?
2)
He got it fixed?
4089162 it said what was ONCE his hockey stick didn't it? Maybe he was trying to go as book Dresden but could only get a hockey stick but since it was close enough to the original Dresden it just changed the stick to match the book Harry costume.
5557901 4089162
I have never seen the TV-series, so the hockey stick was, indeed, just a coincidence to begin with.
However, enough people pointed it out and seemed to enjoy it, that I decided to keep things ambiguous. As long as you imagine 'big stick with lots of runes on it,' if there's a bend near the end just doesn't matter much for most situations.
5346900 Harry made his staff in Canon, didn't he? Of course Bjorn can do it.
*sees Mab* I would have a boner, but I kinda want to live.
I want to see Bjorn saying "Well you see, someone decided that one Harry Dresden just wasn't enough, so they made me! One thing lead to another, and here I am." sometime.
Truly delicious, and amusing right up to the point of being genuinely entertaining. Though, I do suppose that's why she only mingles with Fools. I imagine it would be a touch harder to get away with lies of omission with a more substantial grade of individual.
*sees Mab offering Bjorn a second position of Winter Knight*
OUTER GODS, YES!!!!!
Since I am reading these again, and now that I've had a chance to recall the format of the Dresden Files series, and thus can figure out why everything seemingly went to crap here and then wasn't mentioned again...
(That of course being because it is a snippet from what's supposed to happen later, and before our MC pulls out a Win-bazooka from somewhere)
I'd rather not see him making some sort of deal with the fae, especially if it's the way that the canon Dresdenverse hints such things are usually done. Power, yes, but influence over your mind and (implied) shagging a fae are not a decent exchange.
It would be cooler if he manages to solve whatever the problem is without needing Deus Ex Tinkerbell. I don't think he could manage to defeat both of them at once, but perhaps forcing the fae queen to back off for a while (until he can actually stop her from bugg(er)ing him) might be possible.
...I wonder if the OFB would help. It hates Dresden, but would probably like fae even less...
I have no idea who this is.
Is he Marvel or something? Does he have a comic series? I'm pretty lost here and feeling like I'm missing something...
9326605
Technically, yes. There's a comic spin-off, but this is mainly based on the urban-fantasy book series 'The Dresden Files.'
Short-version: Harry Dresden is a genuine wizard in the modern day that works as a private investigator. Infuriating & baffling monster and allies alike by not caring one iota about 'the masquerade' since everybody 'knows there's no such thing as magic' anyway.
That's the elevator pitch version, though. Bit more to it all.
This fic in turn being a semi-displaced take on somebody else getting that power-set, and being dumped in Equestria, so it's probably not the best starting point of getting exposed to the franchise. (Although I've done my best explaining stuff for new readers.)
Hope that helped at least a little bit.