• Member Since 18th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Lord Of Dorkness


Deep into that dorkness peering...


Total Words: 350,789
Estimated Reading: 23 hours
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Pinkie Pie lights a candle, and nothing of particular note happens.

Oh, except the world ending.


Thanks to AppleTank and billymorph for editing and pre-reading.

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One strange day, Harry Dresden turned into a tiny pastel horse with two girly tattoos on the rump.

She was not pleased about this.

And as strange and horrifying as this was, even by Chicago's only professional wizard’s standards there was a new job to do, and some new bunch of bastards to thump until they stopped their dastardly pony plans!

Except… there seemingly wasn’t a culprit to be found. No dark gods with a thing for horses had risen. No doomsday cults with a thing for pastel had declared their vile, equine intentions. Not as much as an ifrit with a lisp...

It seemed as if whatever had turned so many humans into ponies would simply be a strange and unsolved mystery.

Reluctantly, life simply had to go on, even if it was with double the number of legs as normal.

Now, months later however, this country with the rather silly name of Equestria wonders what became of one of their lost champions, and just why she never returned to them...


Five Score universe by TwistedSpectrum.
Dresden Files and all characters belong to Jim Butcher.
MLP:FIM is Hasbro's, but you should know that by now.


Written as a small Christmas 2014 gift to my followers. :twilightsmile:

Character tags to be added once done, to maintain surprise.

Story contains spoilers for the Dresden Files series, up to Skin Games! Also, spoilers in the comments!

Cover given by the amazing Tulip.

Chapters (8)
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What if there exists an actual after-life in the Optimal verse?

Based on the story Friendship is Optimal by Iceman, but contains some non-canon stuff.

THIS STORY CONTAINS RELIGIOUS THEMES. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Edited and proofread by Thraxus908, Xanathar, newbiedoodle, bobbananaville and AppleTank. A huge thank you to them all for the work!

Cover image is 'Nordingra in Summer5' by my brother sabrous, AKA Swedish-blacksmith. Used with permission.

Chapters (3)
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This is meant to be a (mostly) comedic take on the subject of a person ending up in Equestria as a red and black alicorn. Please read at least chapter one before down-voting into oblivion. Edited by DarkParable and Xanathar, so go check their stuff out.

I got this comment from Xanathar while being literately sick with a fever:

Don't worry. Looks like you are just a niche author.
Your writing is too confusing and smart for connoisseurs of red and black alicorns, but too esoteric and rough for high-brow crowd. For example, you still don't fixed seven improper uses of then in the second chapter of Rare Source. Every orthodox grammar nazi closed tab after second improper use. :derpytongue2:
Probably you never will be a popular author. Deal with it. I'll fain take you anytime than 99.9% of shit featured on the main page.

Then I thought: Challenge accepted! Muhahahahahahahahah!

The idea of this fic just kinda flowed from there. (The slip-up has been corrected, by the way.)

Onward towards this train-wreck of a idea that amused me while sick!

Don't expect frequent updates or this making sense. Tags updated as I write. For the League of Humans Acting Villainous

Pic made using Generalzoi's Pony Creator while laughing uncontrollably. Link in the pics source.

Chapters (4)
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"Knowing all you've seen through that man's eyes, all his powers all but forced him to do... would you still strive to all but become him?"

Knowing what I know now, and what creepy sense that strange peddler's words now make to me...

I'd still say hell yes, of course. Come on. Magic. That's like the best thing that ever happened to me.

Becoming enemy number one of a country with demi-gods at the top just because my snark has gone into overdrive? Not so much.


For the League of Humans Acting Villainous group. Edited by Ranakastrasz, newbiedoodle, and Xanathar.

Will contain spoilers for the whole of The Dresden Files up to Cold Days, but can be read without knowledge of the series.

Thanks to the Dresden files wiki for making this easier and everybody that's made this bandwagon worth jumping onto.

Chapters (7)
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A perverted commission, a miscast spell and a thoroughly irritated fashionista has resulted in the latest adorable threat against Equestria as we know it. How will Rarity and friends fix the squeaky bind she has found herself in?


My first attempt at a crack fic, written for the 2014 January contest of the Balloon Ponies group.

That, the short description and the tags really should tell you all you need to know if this story is for you or not.

No outright intercourse, but the humor is somewhat crude in parts. Just a heads up.

I also wish to point out the lack of a Dark tag given how common it is for this sort of stories. This is a comedy.

I won't make a schedule, but this should be done in time for the contest deadline of Feb 2 and be about four-five chapters. Sorry for those waiting on my other fics... but this one has a best-by date.

Chapters (2)
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Current description is outdated and horrible. Thank you for your patience while I figure out one that actually does this story justice.

Note: I think this story works better if read without the long synopsis. The sex and gore tag refers to light content of both. Think summer-blockbuster.

The story is a HIE with post-cyberpunk in the mix, and most of the human main characters are full-body cyborgs meant to look like MLP:FIM characters. If this is enough to grab your interest, then please skip the below text.

Spoiler prevention.
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It is the year 2310 and trans-humanism is within the grasp of anybody that cares for it...

The public responded with "Eww..."

Even so, life and technology marches on.

Such as in the Pheidippides, humanities first try at a manned starship with a range outside our solar-system.

But not all see it as a glorious day. The Ludz, a neo-luddite terrorist group is howling for blood...

And that was before Captain Gregory starts recruiting heavily among the transhuman community.

The response, sabotage of the experimental engines.

Now, stuck in orbit above a world that shouldn't exist, in a ship that barely is holding together and most of his crew dead or wounded...

How exactly do you perform first contact... when your experts looks like bad imitations of the heroes of the land?


The other character tag refers to: Shining Armor, Cadance, Luna and Celestia.

Edited by the talented AppleTank and formerly edited by Razzle Dazzle. Go show your appreciation by checking out their stuff if you have a moment.

Cover by AppleTank. His DeviantArt page may be found here.

Chapters (7)
Found 7 stories in 26ms