A Rare Source of Irritation

by Lord Of Dorkness


Chapter 2 - The Particularly Peculiar Part Pertaining Pretty Plastic Pony Plus Phony Psychopomp Pursuing Perceptive Purple Princess Pur Preposterous Plot Purposes

Author's note:

I usually don't give warnings about stuff like this... but I know some people are really sensitive to mood-whiplash. This chapter has one or two spots of that for plot purposes, so just a heads-up.

This is the stories darkest chapter, but it's more dark humor then [Dark] if you follow.

Without further ado...


Rarity woke with a groan. For some reason she just felt like utter horse apples this morning. There was this odd and unpleasant taste in her mouth, her skin felt strangely stiff and she swore there was this utterly bucked up faint squeaking sound in her head that came and went in tandem with her freaking pulse…

Naturally, there was only one logical explanation given that the last thing she could remember was her late night magical experimentation...

“Oh sweet Celestia’s beard,” Rarity swore under her breath as she grabbed her aching head. “I don’t even remember the party this time! Pinkie swore she’d never let me drink this much again!”

With a mote of hope in her heart, Rarity started feeling around herself in the bed. The small smile died as quickly as that hope as she didn’t find some strange stallion she’d never seen before.

Rarity let out a unladylike grumble under her breath. Honestly, what was the point of living in Equestria's shenanigans central if you woke up alone after a night of heavy drinking? It was just utterly unnatural.

Still grumbling, the fashionista tore off her sleepmask and started the arduous task of the grand exodus to an exotic realm spoken of only in legends…

The Ladies Room.

Truly, it was a task worthy of tales given how utterly wretched the mare in question felt.

...And just what cursed rotgut rare delight had she chugged like there was no tomorrow had just a bit too much of to get a headache that squeaked of all strange things? Had Twilight tried her hoof at making magic liquor in that still she’d swore herself purpler was only for the lab’s needs of distilled water and similar?

Rarity groaned as she was so out of it her hoof just slid of the handle of the bathroom door.

...Perhaps she had actually been dumb enough to get drunk on a bottle or two of Twilight’s disinfection alcohol? It must certainly would explain why she felt like this… if not why she’d been dumb enough to do so in the first place.

...A dare from Rainbow, perhaps? Rarity mulled it over as she finally got the door open by using both hooves.

….No, that didn’t fit. Rainbow was many, many things... but hardly the sort to endanger her friends like that. A hot sauce drinking contest, sure… but not one with freaking rubbing alcohol.

From how foggy and groggy Rarity’s head felt, she reached the conclusion it would probably remain a mystery. The last thing she remembered was that spell fizzling and then going to bed…

...Oh sweet mercy! Rarity thought with a panicked grimace.

Suddenly much more awake from the sudden panic… Well, relatively at least… Rarity throw herself down the stairs and desperately…

Checked her mail by the door.

Rarity let out a deep sigh of relief as no stack of several newspapers greeted her. She’d never been so out of it after a party as to lose days, and she was relieved that was still the case. A Lady such as herself could of course live something like a momentary lapse in judgment like that down… but not for quite awhile and most certainly not without a thousand and one bad jokes at her expense.

Humming a soft tune, she headed back to the bathroom. The squeaking having faded into a almost ignorable background detail.

Rarity blinked as she passed a window with the sun streaming in without discomfort. It puzzled her for a moment, but then she got it and nodded to herself. Yup, definitely some type of magic spirit of the hunts only your liver kind. There was a decent amount of them on the market, most of them with some added magical effect of some sort or another… but a lot of them tasted as if the only thing magical about them was that they had been filtered through a badly enchanted sock.

Rarity stuck her tongue out in disgust, the movement accompanied by another squeak. Yup, she simply must have agreed to sample one of Berry Punch’s latest experiments or something. A brew attempting to replace a hangover with a more pleasant alternative or something.

Rarity amused herself for a few moments by sticking her tongue in and out. The pitch was wrong, but she could almost play the national anthem like that.

...It was strange and more than a bit irritating… but on the whole? Definitely an improvement over the standard hangover. If that was really what had happened and the short term memory impairment could be fixed the stuff might actually be a decent success…

Rarity nodded sagely to herself and her shiny reflection in the window. Granted, perhaps that was a prediction best left until after she could actually remember the taste of the mystery drink…

Rarity snorted at her private joke. The taste! As if that had ever stopped anypony!

Giggling quietly as to not wake Sweetie, Rarity near skipped to the bathroom. Judging from how good her mood was this morning the day would probably go one of two ways…

A nice, quiet day of getting some relaxation and work done…

Or the end was nigh and this was the calm before the storm. Again.

Either way, since this was Ponyville and the line between those two extremes was such a thin hairline crack filled to the brim with pure insanity and twisted things crawling just beyond the veil of reality... Rarity intended to enjoy herself while this all too rare tranquility lasted.

Soon, she had once more made it to the bathroom.

The sleepy mare was so out of it thanks to her involuntarily late night, that it took until she’d brushed her shiny teeth, brushed her even more so than normal shiny mane…

In fact, it was only once she moved to start putting on her fake eyelashes and got a closeup of her own face that she noticed.

The.

Worst.

Possible.

Thing!

Rarity showed both hooves into her mouth in an attempt to not wake the entire town. A shrill gurgle still made it out.

She…

She…

This… this was simply the worst of all worst possible things!

She…

She, the most fabulous and obviously most desirable of all the available mares in all of Ponyville if not Equestria itself...

Had a gray hair!

Still with both hooves squarely in her mouth, Rarity collapsed onto the floor and started rocking back and forth. Horrible images flashing through her mind of herself as… as…. as…

Rarity let out another gurgling shriek as the thought fully materialized in her minds-eye.

A rocking chair, other ponies grandchildren coming over, her fabulous mane now that color...

Even… even… wrinkles!

An old maid!

Rarity whimpered around her hooves.

Just as a half baked plan involving the local bar, a red cocktail dress, enough makeup that even a stallion would notice and simply abandoning any pretense of subtlety started flickering across Rarity’s mind…

The innocent if poorly timed piece of lint fell from her forehead and drifted lazily to the floor as Rarity watched.

...Oops.

The sudden wave of relief nearly turned Rarity into nothing more than a fabulous puddle of unconscious pony on the bathroom floor.

She got so relaxed in fact, that she suddenly finally noticed how her hooves tasted like plastic.

With a plop, Rarity pulled out her hooves.

Her pristinely white, shiny latex hooves. Covered in some type of latex mockery of spit that reeked of plastic.

A bit dazed, Rarity rubbed them together experimentally. She got a high pitched sound of plastic against plastic not quite unlike hooves on a chalkboard for her troubles so shrill it made the mirror vibrate and her ears hurt.

“...Huh,” was all the commentary that came to mind for the poor mare.

Rarity just stared at herself for not even she knows how long.

Then with a groan she clutched her head and resisted an urge to start swearing like a sailor. “...This is going to be one of the weird days, isn’t it?”

With a sigh Rarity got to her hooves and looked into the mirror. Indeed, now that she’d been shocked awake it was… quite frankly unmistakable.

The same fabulous face and mane as always… but shiny freaking plastic. Rarity could even see and feel odd creases form when she moved her jaw around.

She looked like a freaking blow up doll. A fabulous one that had cost a fore and hind leg, but still.

Rarity put a hoof to where her aorta should be… and strangely, she actually still had a pulse. It was still slightly elevated from her quick brush with the concept of her own mortality just moments prior, but aside from the quiet squeak that was now impossible to miss once she actually knew what to listen for things even seemed... normal.

Rarity cringed slightly mentally at that realization. Something normal in Ponyville... Like that was ever a good sign.

Rarity’s well trained stoicism in the face of all things strange got interrupted by a white and light purple blur tackling her to the floor in a hug.

Rarity was just about to give her sister the verbal dress down of a lifetime… when she noticed the death grip and the wetness against her neck. She barely had time to start returning the hug before Sweetie Bell started wailing in her arms.

It took Rarity nearly an hour of saying comforting nonsense and pats on the back, before Sweetie’s cries was replaced with just hiccups.

She still kept the death grip on her sister though.

“...Sweetie?” Rarity ventured, keeping her voice as kind as possible. “...Just what happened from your perspective?”

Sweetie rubbed the snot away on the back of her hoof before speaking in a voice that was just barely above a whisper. “...I went in to wake you and… saw you like this. I thought…”

Rarity gently kissed her sister on the base of the horn. “Sweetie, why didn’t you try?”

Sweetie gulped and tears brimmed in her eyes again, but she barely kept her composure. “...I didn’t think it would… work.”

Hearing that, Rarity held her sister sister a bit tighter and patted her on the back. “No need to worry, Sweetie… It’s just a spell for utter perverts I thought I might have a use for in my craft…”

Sweetie tensed slightly. “...How, exactly?”

Rarity bit back a giggle. “Not like that.

“...Oh.”

“I thought I might have found a way to make one material look like another…” Rarity held up a shiny hoof to the light. “...I’m not certain if the thought of this being a unfortunate mistake or the spell working as intended sends the biggest shiver down my spine… but I must admit it’s interesting at least.”

Sweetie made a face. “...No offence, sis… but you most certainly smell like ‘another material.’”

Rarity acted as the grownup in the room… and stuck her tongue out with a loud squeak at her sister. “Oh hush. I’ll just go to my studio and cast the counterspell…” Rarity’s face turned wistful. “...and for once there’s a bucking crisis we can solve before breakfast even!”

Sweetie started fidgeting and rubbing her hooves together, not quite looking at Rarity.

With a sigh, Rarity’s hope of a swift resolution to her plastic dilemma fluttered away just as swiftly as any semblance of commonsense near Pinkie. “...Yes, Sweetie?”

The filly in question kept her gaze locked to the floor and mumbled something.

Rarity leaned down and kissed her sister on the horn again. “Sweetie, just tell me.”

Sweetie gulped, but managed to force the words out. “...I might have overreacted, found the book and…” Sweetie let out a nervous laugh. “On the plus side, I figured out how to set things on fire with my magic!”

Rarity tried, she really did… but she couldn’t stop herself from facehoofing. “...Sweetie, you didn’t…”

“Hey!” Sweetie shouted with a hoof jabbed into her sister’s stomach for emphasis. “I thought that after all the bucked up horse apples you’ve done a freaking miscast of a spell from a cheap Camel Sutra knockoff of all freaking things had done you in!” Sweetie prodded her blushing sibling for emphasis a few more times. “And yes, I know what that book is! Honestly, you treat me like I’m two all the freaking time! I might be struggling with my magic, but not even I’m dumb enough to try a new spell without somepony nearby to rush me to the emergency room if something goes wrong!”

Rarity winced as a teary eyed Sweetie slammed both hooves in her stomach. “What the buck is wrong with you?!”

Rarity pulled the once more sniffling Sweetie Bell into another hug. “...Darn it, I was kinda stupid last night, wasn’t I?”

Sweetie glared Rarity straight in the eye. “No. You don’t say.”

Rarity scowled and flicked her sister on the nose. “Darling, I look like I’m a poltergeist with good taste but poor choice in what type of store to hunt. Cut down on the sarcasm and swearing, alright? I’m fairly certain how I shall probably never hear the end of this will be more than enough punishment…”

“Fine, fine…” Sweetie grumbled as she rubbed some feeling back into her nose.

Rarity looked towards her workroom. “...How much fire are we talking here? Perhaps if I’m really lucky the page in question might…”

“You are going to need a new copy,” Sweetie deadpanned. “...and a table. And a new bottle of that absinthe you think I don’t know about.”

Rarity looked on Sweetie with horror.

The filly for her part coughed embarrassedly into a hoof. “...I wasn’t exactly planning on burning the book… I just saw red and it kinda happened… That, and you usually hide your booze so I thought it was a bottle of water…”

Rarity groaned and buried her head in her hooves. “...Just how much of the room is actually left…?”

Sweetie beamed at her sister. “I ran to the kitchen and got my fire extinguisher as fast as I could!”

Rarity’s eye twitched. That of course meant her studio and all the fabrics kept there were not only if not outright singed, then at least lightly smoke damaged and covered in fire retardant.

Rarity let out a sigh. Still, it was better than the whole boutique burning.

Sweetie fidgeted again. “...You still buy those in bulk, right? It’s my turn to cook tomorrow but I grabbed the last one from the fire extinguisher closet…”

Rarity carefully bit back another groan as to not hurt her sister’s feelings. “...Tell you what, Sweetie? At this rate we both are going to need something small to look forward to, so how about I promise pizza?”

“Yay!” Sweetie exclaimed, her bright face instantly turning Rarity’s heart into this little puddle of jelly…

Rarity frowned at that mental image. Hopefully not literally, given the circumstances.

Sweetie gave of a frown of her own at seeing her sister’s. “...You want me to go get Twilight or Zecora?” She poked Rarity’s plastic hide for emphasis. “No offence, sis…. but you kinda look like a giant foal’s toy at the moment. I think it might cause a bit of a stir, even for Ponyville.”

Rarity just had to snicker at that mental image. Even with the Elements in the mix, what foal would want a toy that looked like her? The fashionista could just imagine the riveting concept of a Rarity Bell action figure with kung-foo grip…

Like that would ever sell!

The ludicrous notion made the real Rarity got a grip of the normal kind, however. “No worry, Sweetie.” She gently pushed Sweetie away and got on her hooves. “I’ll just grab a cloak and…”

Sweetie gently pushed Rarity, making the grown mare slide over the tiles and into the wall with a not especially soft sound of impact. “Or how about I go get Twilight while you stay here and avoid any further potential for shenanigans?”

“...Have you been spending time with Pinkie?” Rarity asked as she struggled to get on her hooves. With another loud squeal of plastic on tile she once more crashed down onto the cold floor. “...Forget it. You go get her.”

Now that it seemed her sister would be alright (even if shenanigans no doubt were ahoof) Sweetie’s mood was rising near exponentially. “Come on! Try a breaststroke! I know you can do it!” The widely grinning filly bounced outside the bathroom and started clapping her hooves excitedly. “Show that naughty, noughty floor who’s boss!”

Rarity rolled her eyes and floated over a towel. With it between herself and the floor she was soon off the treacherous porcelain surface.

“Hey, no fair!” Sweetie wined at her fun having been cut short.. She narrowed her eyes in mock rage and jabbed her hoof at her big sister. “Shame on you for using such dark and forbidden secrets like logic. What would the other Elements say if they saw you do that, huh?!”

Rarity bopped her sister lightly on the head as she passed by. “Cut it out. This day is probably going to be long enough as is…”

“Fine, fine…” Sweetie grumbled as she rubbed her head before falling in line with her sis.

Rarity headed to her work room. And unsurprisingly, it was a mess. There was fire retardant everywhere, there really wasn’t much left of the table let alone the book that had rested on it…

Rarity’s eye twitched.

...And the only bolt of cloth that seemed to have survived completely intact was the one least deserving. The bolt of the plaid of doom was seemingly not even singed.

Rarity quickly closed the door before she could start screaming.

Sweetie let out an embarrassed cough. “...Sorry.”

Rarity couldn’t quite bring herself to look at Sweetie while speaking, but she took several deep breaths and kept her cool. “...Sweetie, for the record that book was just a replica… but it could have been the only source of the counterspell. Just… keep that in mind if something like this happens again.”

Sweetie’s ears fell and her eyes got glued to the floor, but she gave a small, solemn nod.

Rarity gently lifted Sweetie’s head by the chin and gave her a encouraging pat on the cheek. “Just for the record. Don’t worry, we’ll fix this…”

Sweetie’s relieved smile was quickly replaced with a frown. “...And if not? No offence, sis… but you’re kinda the wrong type of eye catching at the moment.”

Rarity let out a sigh and walked off to her bedroom.

Or more precisely, her closet.

Well, the primary closet at least. Warehouse #1 to #12 at the outskirts of Ponyville were practical, but hardly as easily accessible.

With a sigh Rarity floated out the ‘I've been turned into something ugly, woe is me!’ robe and started donning the black and covering garment. It was hardly subtle by normal standards, but most of Ponyville’s inhabitants had learned to just ignore anything that weirded them out but wasn’t outright hostile after the incident with Zecora.

Rarity turned to Sweetie. “So, everything covered?”

Sweetie was looking strangely at her sister. “...Rarity, your eyes are so shiny I can see them under the hood. It’s a bit… freaky.”

Rarity turned to the mirror she kept in the room. A black robe and something vaguely white and head shaped in the hood, just visible in the gloom…

Let’s just say our favorite fashionista didn’t exactly evoke images of Snuggles the Clown and leave it at that for now.

Rarity let out a sigh. “...This will end well.”

Still, Rarity conceded, she didn’t look like Rarity at the moment. With any luck the grim looking disguise would discourage any would be small talkers and similar…

Rarity pointed a hoof at Sweetie. “You stay here. The last thing we need is those three morons starting another panic with their ‘The horror!’ nonsense…”

“...Wait!” Sweetie exclaimed, before darting over to her room. She was back with in moments wearing a similar black robe of her own. She got up on her back legs and spread her forelegs in a ‘Tada!’ motion.

“...Why do you have a black robe just laying about?” Rarity asked in an incredulous voice.

“Just a prank...” A huge grin visible even under the hood split Sweetie’s face and she made her voice as gravely as possible. “I am the death of orifices, Diamond Tiara! Rejoice brief mortal, for a clerical error was performed by my minions!” Sweetie slowly raised her hoof, as if holding something large and heavy but currently invisible. “I have therefore come… to return your original nose to the land of the living!” The filly put the hoof to her mouth and snickered. “You should have seen how fast that chubby little spoiled daddy’s girl can gallop when she’s properly motivated!”

Rarity remembered hearing something a week or two ago about the school, a unregistered psychopomp and an emergency exorcism… but at the time she had chalked it up to just another day in the constant state of insanity that was Ponyville.

A smile twitched momentarily on Rarity’s lips. “...Sweetie, as a responsible adult I sadly have to say that that was very naughty of you and never to do something like that again…” Then she gave her little sis a wink.

The two sisters shared a laugh. Sweetie broke the moment first. Grinning wide, she gave a theatrical bow while gesturing towards the door. “Shall we perform our dark exodus and start on our hazardous journey, oh dark mistress of fashion passed but not yet reborn?”

Rarity bit back a snicker and instead straightened to her full height. “Indeed, my dread dastardly darling of a apprentice!” She shook her hoof towards the heavens. “Together, no force, no matter how fabulous may stop our nefarious plans!”

“Yes!” Sweetie exclaimed, completely into it. “The world of fashion called us mad. Mad! Oh how they laughed at us when we said robes would make a comeback… Well, who’s laughing now!?”

On cue, both sisters throw back their heads and laughed ‘evilly.’ Truth be told it sounded about as sinister as a rubber ducky… but it was the ‘evil’ thought that counted.

“Wow…” Rainbow said from the open window she’d been hovering near. Both Rarity and Sweetie near jumped out of their skins. “You two are such dorks.”

As one, both sisters turned and glared at the grinning pegasus. “Rainbow…” Rarity chided. “Is using the door really beyond even your manners?”

Rainbow just snorted and leaned in, elbows resting on the window sill. “Anyway… What’s up with the Death and her apprentice routine? Isn’t it a bit far to Nightmare Night for working on costumes?”

Rarity decided to risk it and beckoned her friend in. “You get your hooves on solid ground first and I’ll tell you.”

Rainbow raised a questioning eyebrow at her friend, but she squeezed in through the window without protest and landed. “Done. So…?”

Rarity throw her hood back. The only thing that fell faster than the bit of cloth was Rainbow’s jaw. Rarity couldn’t help but snicker. “I had a bit of a spell miscast last night and was just heading out to Twilight with Sweetie tagging along as moral support…”

Rainbow slowly made it over to Rarity, jaw still near dragging on the floor.

Carefully Rainbow gave Rarity a poke. “...You sure it isn’t just an illusion by somepony messing with you?”

Rarity daintily licked a hoof and rubbed at her own cheek. The resulting sound not only snapped Rainbow out of it, but made both the flesh and blood ponies present wince and clutch at their ears.

Rainbow made an exaggerated motion of cleaning out her ear. “...Was that really necessary, Rares?”

“Yes,” Rarity simple said. “You coming with us?”

Rainbow pointed a wingtip at the robes. “With you two looking like that? We’ll have ponies running around shouting ‘The horror!’ before we get four steps to the library…”

“Would you rather them panic over something silly that will fade as soon as we’re out of sight…” Rarity countered. “... or would you prefer rumors of some latex plague that will have them bring out the hazard suits and lock themselves indoors for a week… Again?”

Rainbow groaned and buried her head in her hooves. “...Sometimes, I just don’t get this town. We’re within spitting distance of the EverFree for Pete’s sake! Why does everypony panic as their default response?!”

Rarity and Sweetie both secretly agreed, but they moved instead to be on their way. “You coming or not?” Rarity asked instead.

Rainbow flashed them one of her grins. “You two walking straight through town like that? Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

The odd looking group went on their way. ‘Sadly,’ it seemed as if the mass of neurotic ponies that calls Ponyville their home was having a good day. Rarity, Sweetie and Rainbow got a couple of odd looks, and a few that ended up downwind from Rarity wrinkled their noses to the fashionista's irritation…

But things were simply… strangely calm.

“...I’m so sorry, but if I don’t test this tip Pinkie gave me I’ll regret it,” Sweetie said before continuing in a more  dramatic voice. “It’s quiet. Too quiet!”

Before either Rarity or Rainbow could chide Sweetie or even groan a orange blur came out off nowhere and crashed into Rarity.

With a involuntary huff from Rarity as she got the wind knocked out off her and a scream of “Run Rainbow! I’ll save you!” the pair crashed onto the ground.

The orange blur that turned out to be a enraged Scootaloo grabbed a hold of Rarity’s robe and started shaking her furiously. “I don’t care how many itty bitty pieces she ended up in to need two reapers, you are not getting Rainbow Dash!”

Rarity’s hood fell back as her head was shaken, making a decent amount of ponies just stop what they were doing and stare. Scootaloo was so into her ‘valiant sacrifice’ that she didn’t notice however until Rarity spoke. “...Scootaloo, it’s me.”

The fillies jaw fell almost to her navel once she realized who she’d been trying to beat up… and how the mare currently looked.. “...Wha…?”

Rarity let out a sigh. “I had a small magical accident and had hoped to get to Twilight for help without the whole town knowing…”

The words, as well as the barely restrained snickers from both Rainbow and Sweetie made Scootaloo blush so deep it was near crimson.

Rarity gently lifted the stunned filly off herself before rinsing and brushing herself off. Rarity took a moment to pet the protesting Scootaloo on the head before turning to her sister. “Sweetie, would you please fill your friend in while I go and hopefully get this fixed?”

Rainbow gave Scootaloo a pet on the head as she passed, making the filly beam. “That was brave kid… just check your target a bit better next time.”

Rarity lifted the hood over her face as she turned to Sweetie. “Twilight is probably going to prod me with every instrument she has for a couple of hours… Why don’t you two go and play instead?”

Sweetie hesitated. “...I guess…” She soon brightened up and turned to Scootaloo however. “Hey, I figured out how to set things on fire with my magic! We haven’t tried that!”

Scootaloo grinned wide. “That’s a great idea! Let’s go get Apple Bloom!”

The two stunned grownups watched in complete shock as the two fillies ran off.

The distant shout of “Cutie mark crusaders pyromancers, yay!” was soon interspaced with equally distant shouts of “The horror!”

“...Huh,” Rainbow managed after nearly five minutes of existential dread. “...Should we go stop them?”

Rarity shuddered. “I for one am in no rush to find out of my skin acts as plastic in more ways than the shine. Let’s go to Twilight. We can worry about how much of the town is left afterwards…”

“Normally I’d disagree with you…” Rainbow said in a calm voice as the two started walking again. “... but my house is made from clouds so I’ve got nothing to worry about!”

Rarity glared at her friend. “...Was that joke really necessary?”

“...Just trying to lighten the mood…” Rainbow shot back nonchalantly.

Rainbow and Rarity traveled the rest of the way in silence. They knocked and entered, making Twilight look up from the books she was leering seductively at sorting. “Hi, Rarity! Hi, Dash! What brings both of you over?”

Rarity saw no reason to beat around the bush. “I made a mistake and I need your help.”

Twilight visibly cringed. “...With the book I loaned you yesterday?”

“I swear, it isn’t that bad…” Rarity reassured her friend. “... but Sweetie saw me, overreacted and… Let’s just say I owe you a new copy.”

Twilight's ear flickered and her smile grew waxen at the thought of such a sweet girl having had committed bibliocide. “I seeeee…” She managed in a stiff voice, still twitching.

Not wanting a repeat of the ‘Want it, need it’ mess but with the power of a princess behind it, Rarity quickly swept her hood back as a distraction.

Twilight’s jaw fell. “...Wow. You don’t screw up spells by half measures, do you, Rarity?”

Rarity bit back a scathing remark, instead opting for just an irritated sigh as she took off her robe and hung it by the door. “Do you have another copy or not? I would like to be able to return to normal without it turning into a epic quest for once…

Twilight trotted over and started prodding Rarity curiously. “...Well, if you’re lucky it should just go away. Most transformation spells have a time limit for just in case things like this…”

Rainbow couldn’t quite fight back a snicker. “Or you know, you could just find the nearest bar and enjoy yourself. Should be at least one freak around here into pretty pristine plastic pu-”

Rarity shoved a hoof into Rainbow’s mouth, making the pegasus splutter and gag at the taste of plastic. “Dash, a bit of decorum, please?”

Rainbow grumbled and went to wash the taste out off her mouth.

Twilight bit back a snicker, instead opting to cast a diagnostic spell.

Rarity decided from how the purple pegacorn’s face got carefully neutral that is hardly seemed like good tidings. “...Just say it, Twi.”

Twilight let out a awkward laugh. “...Well, good new, bad news…”

“Oh goody.” Rarity deadpanned.

Twilight rolled her eyes at her friend. “Fine, I’ll just say it. There is apparently a limit on the spell…”

Rarity brightened up.

“... and that limit is apparently one hundred and eight moons.” Twilight gave her now thoroughly shocked friend an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Rarity… It seems you… eh, have a talent for these sorts of spells…”

Rarity did the math in her head. “... Nine years?!” Rarity clutched her head in horror, trying to ignore the faint squeak when her hooves actually made contact. “I can’t stay like this for nine years! My carer might not survive a week!”

Twilight darted over and gave her friend a hug. “Calm down. I’ll just order another copy…”

Rarity returned the hug with a sigh. “...And that should take…?”

Twilight let out a awkward cough. “...Month or two.”

Rarity let out a groan and buried her head in her friend's shoulder.

“...Sorry, Rarity. It’s just not an easy book to get a hold of and getting another version might give us a slightly different take on the spell…”

The fashionista’s mind drifted to the dark stain in her workroom, making her wince at the thought of how much it might cost her both literally and figuratively. “...How rare are we talking about?”

“What? No, no, no!” Twilight quickly exclaimed. “Luna just offhoofedly mentioned in some interview that she thinks it is so much better than the Camel Sutra as a joke and near every darn supplier is sold out…” Twilight continued but with a mutter. “And I didn’t even get to read it properly myself…”

Rarity tried gritting her teeth… the resulting sound was so shrill it made the windows quake slightly and Twilight wince, so she quickly stopped. “Surely there must be some general counterspell or something we can try?”

“Fear not!” Pinkie shouted as she popped out off Twilight’s mane with a hoof held high in triumph. “I have a cunning plan!”

Both Twilight and Rarity looked at each other. Yup, another Pinkie moment. Best not to question for your sanity's sake…

“Yes, Pinkie?” Twilight politely asked as her friend climbed down and out off her mane.

Pinkie for her part let out a gasp and bounded over to Rarity. “Oh, shiny!”

“Pinkie, please focus…” Rarity said in an exasperated voice as the overexcited baker started prodding her in the chest.

“Hm? Oh right...” Pinkie waved a hoof waved a hoof towards the middle of the library. “This is screams weird enough to be worth using the Elements… So let’s just skip ahead to the end!”

For hardly the first time, Twilight doubted her friends sanity. “...Pinkie, we gave them up, remember?”

Pinkie tensed. “...We did?”

Both Rarity and Twilight shared a worried look.

Pinkie gave them an apologetic grin. Then she screamed like a banshee and jumped back into Twilight’s mane.

Rainbow chose that moment to walk back in on the two thoroughly confused ponies. “...Was that Pinkie screaming?”

The stunned duo nodded absently.

Rainbow let out a sigh and sat down. “Fair enough.”

Pinkie popped out of Rarity’s mane this time. She clapped her hooves with a huge grin on her face. “Sorry about that. I accidentally turned right in Albuquerque five months ago five seconds ago and that might have been a bit… bad.” Still standing in Twilight’s mane, she reached behind her back and pulled forth a glass display case she plumped down in the middle of the library. “Still, I borrowed these while I was then so let’s get cracking!”

The other girls jaws near fell clean off, as they behold the familiar glow of the Element of Harmony in their midst.

Twilight was the first to get her jaw working again. “...How…?”

Pinkie climbed down again and gave her friends a smile as she started counting on her hooves. “Pinkie owed Pinkie a favor, so I traded the favor Pinkie owed me to Pinkie who owed Pinkamena one for helping Pinkie help Pinkie for that one time with all the carnivorous limes, so we…”

Rainbow raised a hoof. “One-time time-travel shenanigans because you found a way to make it funny. Got it. What’s the… eh, time limit?”

Pinkie pouted at her rather prismatic friend. “Did you have to ruin the joke?” Pinkie held up all twelve of her current hooves. “I hadn’t even gotten to the bit with the custard and the croquet mallet yet!”

Rainbow just rolled her eyes. “Let’s cut the horse apples, go get AJ and Flutter and fix this before time-space crumbles like a wet tart.” Dash’s eye twitched. “Again.”

“Hey, let me!” Pinkie shouted and reached into Rainbow’s tail.

Her hoof came out holding the ear of what was clearly a Applejack.

The quite irritated nightmare pegacorn flared her dark orange wings and aimed both her green glowing horn and flashing green slitted eyes at the group. “WHO DARES DISTURB THE DARK QUEEN OF ALL ORCHARDS!?” Her golden ethereal mane flared dramatically, as her eyes actually focused on the room and group...

The AJ blinked once she actually had time to take the sight of a giggling Pinkie and the three other stunned friends of her’s nearby. “...Oh. Hi, girls.” She looked down on the tangled tail she was standing ‘in.’. “Oh right…. you guys told me about this.”

“Ix-nay!” Pinkie quickly chided before stuffing a cupcake from nowhere into the AJ’s mouth.

Princess Nightmare AJ rolled her eyes while chewing. “Please, as if anything I’d say would do anything but cause the scenarios I’ve already observed to come to pass…”

Pinkie bopped her on the nose, giggling. “It’s still kinda nasty to give the future away! Nopony likes spoilers.” Pinkie let out a gasp that was clearly fake. “There’s evil… and then there’s evil, you know!”

Nightmare AJ let out a chuckle. “Aint that a truth? You’ve gotta have some standards!” She tilted her hat at the others. The stetson was in pristine condition if enlarged to fit the princess sized mare’s larger head… but had seemingly been just as corrupted as its owner from how many shaded darker it had become. The hat was a brown so dark it was nearly black. “Well, this was fun… but I’ve got apples to buck, a farm to run and worldly nations to make bow down to me. Toodeloo, ladies!”

“You all could even say it’s goodbye...” Nightmare Applejack bit back a snicker, her eyes twinkling. “... for now.” Cackling like a madmare she faded back into the depths of Dash’s tail.

Gingerly, Rainbow poked her tail but felt only the usual hair and stuff. “...That was weird.”

Pinkie hummed before flashing another grin. “...Want me to try again?”

“NO!” The other mares screamed as one.

Pinkie just giggled at them in response.


An hour or two later and things were actually in motion.

Twilight, rightfully citing her expertise in all things magic was drawing some type of magic circle.

Rainbow had volunteered to go get the others, using her usual restraint in all things speed to do so.

Truth be told the last part hadn’t taken long, even for Rainbow. Luckily a few stares aside AJ and Fluttershy had understood that Rarity wasn’t in much of a mood for being gawked at and they had given her space as a result. The pair and Rainbow was currently checking out the library while Twilight finished up.

Rarity for her part had cited her lack of breakfast and was currently raiding Twilight’s fruit-bowl to compensate. She couldn’t quite put her hoof on why, but the nice juicy apple she’d settled for seemed… off, somehow. It was delicious and had smelled so nice, ripe and juice that Rarity had drooled over it from cleanly at the other side of the kitchen…

And yet, Rarity mused as she took another bite of the scrumptious fruit, it seemed just slightly… off. Was it her tastebuds? The liquid latex that currently somehow served as her spit?

It was annoying, but hardly life shattering.

Twilight came into the kitchen, wiping sweat from her brow. “Phu, now that was a decent ci-” Twilight did a double take at seeing Rarity.

“...What?” Rarity asked, taking another bite. “Surely you’ve seen me eat an apple before?”

Twilight let out a hum, still staring at the fruit. “True… but that isn’t a apple.”

Rarity hesitated, and held the thing she’d been happily chewing up to eye level.

That’s when she noticed the Made In Neighpon sticker on the bottom of the fake fruit.

Now that she looked closely, her bites had even revealed solid plastic in the decoration she’d been nibbling on. With a sigh Rarity put the thing down on the table. “...I shall never live today down, am I?”

Twilight bit back a giggle. “Probably not… but come now. The circles ready.”

Rarity followed her out. A circle more complicated than any Rarity had seen since her school days greeted her in the main room. Runes, circles within circles, lines of text in long forgotten tongues…

Rarity nodded approvingly. Now that looked like some serious mumbojumbo.

Twilight for her part bit back a sigh of irritation. You could get the same result with a shoestring, a hoola hoop and a jar of paint  but noooooo… That didn’t look impressive or spooky enough…

Still, if it made her friends take the spell a bit more seriously it would be worth it.

“...Y'all sure this is a good idea?” Applejack asked while eyeing the pentagram suspiciously. “Couldn’t we… you know? Be the ones to ask the princesses for help for once? I think they’d understand given the circumstances…”

Fluttershy let out a quiet cough and blushed slightly. “...Do you want to be the one to tell them Rarity miscast something from a sex help book?”

Rarity let out a slow sigh. Here we go. so to speak. “It was literally research for my work, darling…”

Rainbow barely fought back a giggle. “Riiiiiiiiiiight… and I’m sure you only read it for the articles as well!”

Rarity shot the pegasus a scathing look. “Dashie dear… please shut up. I’m not in the mood.”

Rainbow’s near not only atrophied but outright gangrenous survival instinct was still enough to pick up the tell tale signs of a unicorn so stressed out she was near going postal. Flickering ears, shifty eyes, a tail that simply would not stay still, a horn wrathed in arcane if not outright eldritch energies no mare was ever meant to call - Let alone command! - dancing up and down its length like bees that had escaped their glass hive to consume all within sight…

Small and subtle stuff like that.

Rarity let out a small sigh of relief as Rainbow shut her gob.

The other mares, noticing their friends mental state, quickly followed Twilight’s instructions and taking a place each on the points of the five pointed star that made up the bulk of the pentagram.

With a gulp Rarity climbed into the middle of it all. “...You sure about this, Twilight?”

Twilight just waved her friends fears off. “Please, as if any of us would have even time to cool before Luna or Celestia or Discord or Cadance or all of them pulled some ‘forbidden magic no mare was ever meant to know’ out of their plots to save us…”

AJ gave her magic obsessed pegacorn friend a weary look. “...Does this have anything with those samples of heart-blood you needed a couple of months ago you said were for research purposes?”

Twilight snickered. “You never asked what I was researching!” Twilight clapped her hooves together excitedly with a huge grin. “I’m now ninety eight point five percent certain I could bring you all back with just a few tiny side-effects!”

The five other mares exchanged glances.

Applejack let out a sigh. “What type of side effects?”

“...Well, you’d have to die for any of them to work. That’s kinda a big one…” Twilight let out a cough, as she realized she might have gotten a bit carried away in not actually asking outright for her friends permissions. “...And a few insignificant aesthetic downsides…”

Rainbow raised a hoof, suddenly interested. “Just how dead are we talking here? Because I’ve got a few stunts I’ve been meaning to try that won’t leave much more than jelly if they go wrong…”

Rarity piped up. “And just what ‘insignificant aesthetic downsides’ are there…?”

Twilight hushed them all before prying open a floorboard with her magic. Underneath an open metal container laid, with eleven brightly glowing crystals in turn laying on a bit of black felt.

Each and every crystal pulsed slightly, as if mimicking living hearts...

Rarity let out a shocked gasp. “Phylacteries?! You’ve made us all into liches just waiting for something to knock us down hard enough to be fatal?!

The shocked silence… lasted roughly five seconds. Then Rarity grinned, near swooning with her hooves tucked in under her chin. “Oh, darling! You shouldn’t have! I’ve wanted one of these since I was just a filly!”

Fluttershy umed and raised a hoof. “...Only me that’s a bit disturbed with the notion of turning into some type of undead horror? Just me?”

AJ,stroked her chin. “...I don’t know. Kinda beats the alternative.”

Pinkie bounded over and petted Fluttershy encouragingly on the shoulder. “Chin up, Fluttershy! Just imagine how much closer you’ll be with all your little insect buddies!”

The butter yellow pegasus shone up a bit. “...That’s true.”

Rarity gave Twilight a smile. “I’m so glad! From how hush-hush you were being I thought it might be something morally questionable!”

AJ went a bit glassy eyed and shivered. “Like… accounting!”

Pinkie hesitated. “...Eh, I don’t know girls. It still sounds a bit… weird and unnatural to me. What about the whole slowly rotting thing?”

Twilight bit back a snicker, instead leaning forward and whispering conspiratorially. “Pinkie, answer one question for me, please?”

“...Sure?”

“When was the last time you saw a old unicorn?” Twilight snickered. “Think about it.”

Pinkie’s mouth turned into a little O of understanding.

Twilight mimed sipping her lips closed. “Don’t spread it around. Anypony dumb enough to not be able to figure out that magic is kinda overpowered on their own... isn’t the type of fool you want to spend eternity with.”

The group nodded grimly as Twilight replaced the floorboard. The thought of spending any more time on the same plane of existence as, just for example, Snip and Snails, wasn’t exactly a pleasant one.

Rainbow butted in. “As somepony that has, do to work, dabbled in the dark arts of arithmetics…” AJ gave her friend a worried look. “... why eleven?”

“Us, Spike, Luna, Celestia, Cadance and my BBBFF.” Twilight plainly stated. “I’m not taking any chances with any of you.”

Twilight blushed slightly at the groups collective daww at hearing her statement.

Rarity got taken out off the moment by the now almost familiar creasing of her cheeks when she smiled. She most certainly didn’t want it to go so far as to become familiar, so… “...Can we please get one with the spell?”

The other mares nodded and retook their positions.

Rarity had to admit… she was a bit nervous. Her eyes kept flickering to Twilight. True, it had been on the whole a glorious day the last time they used the Elements on one of their own...

Eventually.

Thinking you’ve annihilated one of your friends and one of the ancient artifacts that has again and again saved the world… Kinda puts a damper on your mood.

Of course, as she glanced at Twilight she couldn’t help linger on what had been gained that day and well… Hope springs eternal, does it not?

Rarity couldn’t help herself and lifted a plastic hoof to stare at it. Although if her ascension ended up being a direct result of freaking this… Well, a certain part of the official biographies of Rarity Bell,  the Princess of Fabulousness would be just a smidgen… downplayed.

The fashionista did her best not to fidget as the Elements lit up. Their eyes shot open, blinding white light spilling out.

“I am assuming direct control.” Pinkie spoke in a deep, echoing voice. “We are the Harbinger of your perfection.”

Fluttershy glared at her, the angry look somehow piercing the light. “Did you have to make that joke? I’d almost forgotten that darn series!”

As one, the other mares stared at Fluttershy.

Pinkie blinked. “...This hurts you?”

Darn right that darn bucking ending did!” Fluttershy sucked in an angry breath, trying to calm herself. “So much bucking wasted potential…” She finished with a mutter.

She blinked at the stares she was getting. “...What? I don’t feed animals and shovel crap all day. A mare needs a hobby.”

AJ raised an eyebrow at her. “...I thought you knitted?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “I fail to see why I can’t have more than one…”

“Girls!” Twilight snapped, narrowing her glowing eyes at the group. “This is hard enough as is. A bit of focus, please?”

The group grumbled, but did their best to focus on serving as overglorified magic batteries.

Rarity for her part with the added mission critical objective of ‘target #1’ was getting a distinct deer in the headlights feeling.

One the plus, it seemed to be at the end of a distinctly plastic smelling tunnel…

“...Oops,” Twilight said in a small voice as her recent growth spurt resulted in a new problem. As the group watched with dread the tiara that hadn’t been refitted slowly slid off her head mid spell.

Rarity was certain she heard the whistle of a train just before the rogue spell hit her head on.

For a moment as the beam of rainbows hit her, up was Wednesday, left was purple, down was fudge and left the End of All Things. Rarity heard golden silences exploding, saw spirals of strawberry flavor dancing, tasted the bitter blue of eternity, smelled the smooth glory of unmade lotuses and felt frozen heat ascend against her skin.

It was, Rarity decided, the second best trip she’d ever had.

A figure materialized out off the swirling tastes, delicious colors and flashing sounds. Time seemed to congeal to a complete standstill. At first, Rarity thought it was Sweetie back from her latest crusade…

Then the princess sized figure came closer and she noticed the wing slits with bony wings sticking out of them.

The Grim Trotter folded his hood back with a sigh, revealing a smooth, horned skull. He took a long, long look at the current tableau before him before letting out a intrigued hum. “...I WILL ADMIT, I DON’T THINK I’VE SEEN THIS ONE BEFORE. CONGRATULATIONS, KID. NOT MANY MANAGES TO SURPRISE ME.”

Rarity tried to put her considerable amount of charm into overdrive, but she found that she couldn’t as much as twitch a muscle.

The Grim Trotter walked up and waved a bony hoof in front of her face. “...HALLO? NO POINT IN PLAYING POSSUM, MISS RARITY. POINTS ONCE MORE FOR ORIGINALITY BUT IT’S KINDA MY JOB TO KNOW WHEN SOMEPONY IS REALLY DEAD OR NOT…”

Rarity, using near all her willpower, barely managed to let out muffled if nonverbal protest.

Death blinked, the blue pinprick lights in his eye sockets momentarily winking out. “... OH!”

He reached into his sleeve and brought forth a hourglass. If Rarity had been breathing at the moment, it would have stolen it away. The case was the purest alabaster, carved by a master of the craft. Instead of glass two sapphires the same cut as the ones on her cutie mark had been hollowed and somehow joined as one at the points.

Death poked the beautiful thing so carefully it was nearly reverent a few times, before nodding to himself at what he saw . It was only then Rarity noticed it wasn’t filled with sand, but rather these sparks of what looked like her magic.

...And the glittering blue sparks were flowing down and up.

“THOUGHT SO…” The Grim Reaper nodded towards the fashionista as he put the sand-glass back. “ALTHOUGH, THAT SHOULD HAVE CLUED ME IN SOONER…”

Rarity followed his ‘eyes’ down, seeing a something that almost looked like a chain of brilliant blue light that flowed from her chest to under the floor.

Death walked a bit further up and patted her gently on the back. It seemed a bit nonsensical, but Rarity swore the skull headed stallion was grinning at her. “GOOD FOR YOU, MISS RARITY! IF ONLY ALL PONIES HAD THE SAME FORESIGHT MY JOB WOULD BE A LOT LESS DEPRESSING AND EASIER!”

Death rummaged around inside his robe, pulling out a clipboard and a pen. He levitated it up in front of himself and drew a line over something Rarity couldn’t quite make out while humming a cheery tone. “I WAS NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS REPORT OR ESCORT AS WELL… SO, BONUS!”

The reaper replaced the clipboard and pen, instead pulling out two small cards, a stamp and a party horn.

He put the last to where the lips on a normal stallion and blew it. The black party horn with white cartoon skulls let out a sharp bleat as it unfolded. “HAPPY FIRST DEATH, MISS RARITY!” Death blew his grim instrument of celebration once more. “AND HERE’S HOPING FOR MANY, MANY MORE!”

Rarity wasn’t quite sure how to feel about this situation or that wish, but manners got the better of her and she mumbled out a thank you through her uncooperative lips.

Death looked a bit puzzled at her as he stuffed the party horn back into the folds of his robe. “...OH RIGHT, RIGOR VITAE. HAVEN’T SEEN THAT IN A WHILE…” Once more, his skull gave off the strange impression of a smile. “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES TO UNDEAD. IT’S JUST THE STILL LIVING BITS OF YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO ENTER THE REALM OF THE DEAD... BUT STILL BEING A PART OF THE DEAD BITS. COMPLETELY NORMAL, NOTHING TO BE WORRIED OR ASHAMED OF…”

Death trotted over to Rarity’s robe, pausing as he took in what kind of garment it actually was. “...MY, AND THE LADY EVEN HAS GOOD TASTE…”  He mumbled, as he ran a hoof along the black silk. “… IN STYLE AS WELL AS MATERIALS IT WOULD SEEM.”

He flashed another grin towards the paralyzed, if blushing, fashionista. “I USUALLY DON’T DO THIS KIND OF THINGS WHILE AT WORK, BUT…” He pulled out his pen and scribbled something on one of the cards, before sliding it into a pocket on Rarity’s robe and winking at her. “YOU JUST GIVE ME A CALL IF YOU WANT A DATE UNLIKE ANY OTHER, YOU HEAR? I’VE ALWAYS GOT TIME FOR PRETTY MARE’S WITH A GOOD TASTE FOR THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE…” He winked again, the ‘eye’ near sparkling with humor. “...OR AFTERLIFE, AS THE CASE MAY BE!”

He chuckled as Rarity’s cheeks near caught on fire. “STILL, TO CONCLUDE OUR CURRENT BUSINESS…” He put the other card against a wall and stamped it before sliding it into the same pocket as the other one and putting away the stamp. “DETAILS ARE ON THE CARD, BUT EVERY TENTH DEATH YOU GET A FREE ENLIGHTENMENT OF YOUR CHOICE, ASCENSION SO WE DON’T HAVE TO CONTINUE MEETING LIKE THIS OR A ONE WEEK TRIP TO BERMUDA!”

The reaper put a hoof to his skull and whispered conspiratorially. “JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US? DON’T TRY ANYTHING ‘CLEVER’ WITH IT.” Death shuddered. “THE MANAGEMENT DOESN’T MIND REPEAT CUSTOMERS, BUT GETS A BIT… MIFFED WITH THE ONES THAT ARE CLEARLY ONLY AIMING FOR THE PROMOTIONS…”

The skeletal stallion brightened considerably. “STILL, YOU DON’T SEEM THE TYPE. THAT, AND THE ONES THAT STUPID ARE USUALLY EASY TO SPOT THANKS TO HOW YOU KEEP MEETING THEM NEXT TO THE SAME WOODCHIPPER, OR WHATEVER.” He gave Rarity a friendly wave as he started to fade into the shadows. “JUST SAYING IT FOR THE RECORD, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DO YOUR BEST IN BETWEEN ‘MEETINGS’ AND MANAGEMENT USUALLY LOOK BETWEEN THEIR VARIOUS APPENDAGES WITH PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING. THEY’RE GOOD SORTS LIKE THAT.”

Rarity felt… confused. Still, once more manners came to her rescue. It took considerable effort but she managed a slow smile and a wave. Both tiny enough that it was doubtful most would have spotted either, but it was the thought that counted.

Surprise, surprise, The Grim Trotter was hardly like most. “MY, AND SO POLITE AS WELL… IF ONLY ALL MY TASKS WERE THIS PLEASANT! MAY WE MEET AGAIN, BUT HOPEFULLY OFF THE CLOCK!” The stallion gave a deep bow. “IT WAS A PLEASURE, M'LADY. UNTIL, AND IF, WE MEET AGAIN.”

Death let out a merry laugh as the dark claimed him.

But before he could fade completely, he tilted his head and added: “OH, AND THIS MIGHT STING. DON’T WORRY, IT SHOULD BE QUICK.”

Normally came rushing back. Unprepared, Rarity crashed to the floor.

“Rarity!” The group shouted and rushed over.

Applejack got there first. With worry in her eyes she asked: “...You alright, sugar?”

Rarity felt… strangely OK, actually. Her pulse was so high she absently wondered if her death was meant to have been from heart failure or something and her heart was in her throat, but other than that…

Rarity opened her mouth to say so, but…

*Buuurrrrrrp~!*

Rarity blushed at the sound that had ripped itself out off her throat and showed both fronthooves on top of her mouth.

The other mares let out nervous giggles.

With a sudden jab of pain, Rarity fell to her stomach groaning. “Get a- *Burp!* aw- *Burp! -ay!”

The group hesitated.

Rarity felt… there really was only one word for it.

Bloated.

It was as if something was filling her up. All of her.

It happened disturbingly quickly after that. Her limbs stiffened and swelled, her belly expanded until the skin creaked, and then…

Just as Death had said, there was surprisingly little pain. Just a loud pop, a brief but mercifully short burst of pain, a flash of bright magic that seemed to come from within her and then Rarity found herself blinking awake once more.

“...Freakin ow…” Was all that came to mind for Rarity to say, as she came to.

...The world was upside down. And white confetti was raining down, most pieces no larger than a stamp.

Rarity tried to move and pull her horn out of the floor, but nothing beneath her neck would actually respond.

Only when a especially big piece of ‘confetti’ with half a blue sapphire on it sagged down onto the floor under her, did she get what had happened.

“...Oh my,” was really all that came to mind as she stared ‘up’ at the bit of her own cutie mark. ‘Luckily’ it seemed the spell had failed by pushing her transformation further, if in the opposite direction desired. There wasn’t any blood or similar. Even the bit of her cutie mark just looked more like a popped balloon than flesh or similar.

“...Rarity,” Twilight asked in a very careful voice. “...How are you feeling?”

Rarity decided that where muscle had failed, magic would simply have to suffice and levitated herself up.

It was disturbingly easy. Both the spell and figuring out why as she saw the white ‘rain’ continue. With a plop and her vision turned slightly blue Rarity’s head floated to… well, roughly head height and righted itself. “...Well, once more I’m quite glad to be a unicorn. I shall say that much.”

“...Yes! The phylacteries work! Who’s the best! I’m the b-” Twilight shouted excitedly… only to add a few seconds later in a sheepish voice: “...And that they were needed is of course terrible. Just terrible.”

Rarity couldn’t help herself and let out a giggle that almost broke her concentration. Rainbow rushed over and cradled her in her forelegs.

Rarity smiled up at the teary-eyed pegasus. “Thank you, dear.”

Rainbow let out a sniffle, but she gave the fashionista a relieved smile as well.

Rarity took the moment to look at her own nose. Her still shiny nose. “...And still plastic. Marvelous.”

Rainbow was just about to say something, when she let out a startled cry and throw Rarity away.

Rarity let out a startled scream but managed to recast her levitation just a hair's breadth away from smacking into the door. Snarling, she turned to Rainbow. “And just what is the b-”

The accusation died in her throat. It was most noticeable on Rainbow who was staring down at her hooves quickly turning shinier and shinier, but all her friends had seemingly been infected by the spell.

The group waited in tense silence as the infection finished, leaving them just as plastic as Rarity.

After near half an hour of dreading what might come next and with nothing to really do but watch the ‘debris’ settle and wait, the mares let out a collective sigh of relief. It seemed they had at least dodged the bullet Rarity hadn’t.

“Well, girls…” Applejack said sounding far cheerier than she really was in an attempt to lighten the mood. “That might have gone just a itty bitty bit better.”

Pinkie who had been testing her new condition by making faces at her reflection in the nearest window, suddenly tensed. “Uh, girls?” She pointed outside. “We might have a problem here…”

Rarity just drifted groaning to the floor, not needing to see how all the inhabitants of Ponyville had become infected from the hubbub they were currently causing about it.

“I don’t care where it goes at the moment,” The plastic disembodied undead head of Rarity muttered as it settled on the floor. “I need a freaking drink.”