Chapter 2 - Harry Dresden, World Class Diplomat
Since nothing was actively launching at my face at the moment, I decided to pull myself to my full height and just take stock of things.
And whoa, was it a full height! I swear I almost saw clouds again. I flexed my limbs, not really sure how to feel about what my senses were telling me. I’d never been a short ham-beast, or anything… but I’d ended up much thinner and wiry.
I cracked my neck, to the clear discomfort of some of the ‘locals.’ Still, nobody seemed to wish to make the first move, and I was frankly feeling like obliging them until I was certain I didn't have a stick through my abdomen or something.
From what I could tell at first glance I still had all my stuff… except all of it had gotten a similar upgrade as my staff judging from the sudden weight increase. It was especially noticeable on my back thanks to both the sword and Winchester being there, but the pistol holster under my duster tugged just a bit more towards the ground.
An odd resistance when I moved it made me look at my right hand. I flexed my hand experimentally, only to feel as if my fingers were moving through something that wasn't quite molasses, but in that ballpark.
My rings still looked like simple silver bands stacked in threes, but I could feel runes on their insides now that I hadn't added. An odd warmth I now realized was the magic working flowed through them flared slightly every time I moved my hand and by extension them, as the bleed away some of the kinetic energy for later use.
That’s one of the important and first lessons of magic, actually. It is always far easier to bend and control forces already in play, then conjuring them up whole cloth. Kinda like lighting a fire is possible by just rubbing two sticks together and letting friction do its thing, but it is far easier to just hold a bit of kindling to an already lit candle.
And although I’d know that in the abstract, I now suddenly knew it. It made my fish out my amulet and give it a suspicious glare. It looked the same, but I swear I saw this gleam in the bottom of the ruby that all but screamed that the damn thing had winked at me. I jabbed my other index finger at it. “And just what is so darn funny, you overpriced doorstop?”
My amulet just seemed to find this hilarious, judging from how this short burst of ruby light that reminded me suspiciously off Sempo’s laugh burst forth. With a sigh I just let it drop on my chest.
Speaking of chest, that was the really the only part of me that hurt. The spot where I’d landed on my own staff felt sore, but not hurt. Other then that I honestly felt in suspiciously good shape. Like I’d dropped ten years somehow and actually started exercising more than the minimum.
As worrisome as that thought about what had happened to my body was it was hardly the time. For all I knew the locals were all psychic projections from these kilometer big death minds hidden away miles below the earth and those shocked stares were them trying to decide how they would tear my atoms apart.
Yes, I am fully aware that they looked like nothing but the cutest darn versions of unicorns, pegasi and normal ponies I’d ever seen… but I was currently a bookstore owner with a few things jammed into my head that just happened to look like a badass wizard. One lost in what just screamed ‘other dimension.’ A bit of paranoia seemed wise.
So, I tried to be friendly and raised my hand. “Um, hi?”
That broke the moment. Spurred on by a trio of pony mares with flower emblems on their butts who off all damn things thought running away and shouting ‘The horror!’ was the wisest action.
I’ll admit, I just threw my head back and face-palmed as the most adorable stampede I’d ever seen happened.
I got a bit distracted despite the shouts and screams as I felt my face. It wasn't mine anymore. It was leaner with harder edges. A face I recognized.
Oh fuck me sideways with half a gimp, that bit of magic bling had really turned me into Harry.
I put my other hand on my face and tried to not scream in frustration.
That’s about when something moving at Mach fucking ten hit me in the side. Now, my new slash old duster if it followed the same pattern as my other gear it was now enchanted to act as the second best thing to wearable tank armor. The problem that was normally a boon however, is that it was still flexible. Thus, even if it would stand up to claws, blades, bullets and perhaps even televangelist, it didn't do as much against blunt force trauma.
Luckily, either the person was pulling their punches or I got lucky because it didn't feel as if anything broke, but I heard my freaking ribs creak as we went into a tumble.
We stopped, showing me a cerulean pegasus mare with what looked like a bloody rainbow clown wig on straddling me and pinning my arms to my side. I winced, both from the tumble and the volume as she showed her face a freaking centimeter from mine and shouted: “WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU DO TO MY SKY YOU FUR-LESS FREAK?”
I blinked and looked behind her. I even extended my new bolted on magic senses and tried to feel out the local winds via the magic in them. They were a bit turbulent from my rather messy entrance, but nothing worse than your average summer’s day.
She shoved her head in front of mine again. Her, of all colors, amethyst eyes were these furious and slightly bloodshot slits. “Don't you dare ignore me!”
For a moment I was tempted to just stare her down, to check if I had another trick Dresden has.
The soul gaze.
Basically, the thing works like this: A wizard is a person that sees further than others, and uses that to gain knowledge and thus power. For good or ill, but in the end it is an extension of who and what they are. The thing is, that that kind of world shattering knowledge leaves more than a few marks, one of which is the soul gaze. When a wizard looks into the eyes of another being with a soul, they catch a glimpse of who that person really is. All masks, all lies, all pleasant little half truths… Gone like gossamer that has drifted in front of a blowtorch.
And as the cliche Nietzsche quote goes, the abyss will quite happily stare back at you. They see you in just as much detail as you see them.
And that kind of capital T Truth never leaves you. It never even fades. Do it with enough beings above a certain magnitude and your sanity snaps like a twig that tried to pull a Atlas impression. It doesn't even have to be beings foul and wretched. Narcissus wasted away just as well in front of his pond as any prisoner bound in irons and left to their fate after all.
Now, I didn't know or care who this rude bastard was… but I could feel power rise off her like a thermal on the hottest of summer days. Mostly two cold and turbulent, but at the same time invigorating and trans-mutative types of magic I thought might be water and air, but more than a few other shades mixed in. It didn't seem as she used any of them directly or she’d never had needed to do something so crude as literally tackle me, but the nag was a powerhouse I’d rather not trifle with.
I pulled my arm free and gently moved her snout to the side with a finger. “Lady, you don’t want to stare too deeply into my eyes. Just a tip.”
She slammed a hoof down next to my head in a manner I was certain was meant to intimidate, but I honestly had to fight back a snort. Not only did she hesitate in a way that all but told me that she was pulling her punches, but she was a cute, cuddly pony pegasus that barely reached me to the groin with my new height. “Answer me! What did you do?!” she shouted in my ear again.
How can any mortal resist such a line? I put my left hand under her tummy and said: “This.” Then just as this adorable look of horror flashed across her face I grabbed at the magic and shouted my spell. “Vento servitas!”
Wind magic is rather versatile, and one of the few ones easy enough that you can use it relatively well even without a focus. Now, it isn't what I’d call combat grade stuff for most applications, but air just likes to move. It’s relatively simple to get it to do so, at least in a wide open area as this town square.
The wind I’d summoned shot my irritant of an assailant to the skies with an adorably girlish scream. Normally, I’d aimed to the side but since I was ‘fighting’ something with wings I decided to just do it the easy way.
However, it seemed she had either training or just raw talent, because she just flipped in the air like a ninja trained by freaking birds and dove straight back down at me.
With a snort I didn't even try to hold back I reached for my blasting rod with my left hand. The thing now turned into slender rod about the radius of my thumb was a much simpler focus then my staff, mostly intended for combat. Gusts of flame, bolts of lightning, globs of acid… Anything nasty you just want to conjure and throw into your opponent's face? A blasting rod is what you want for it if you want to still have flexibility. It was possible to make things that were simpler and more focused still, like my force rings or shield bracelet, but they really only aided in the casting of a few particular spells.
The runes in the wood lit with a pale light as I sent another spell her way with an almost contemptuous flick of my wrist. “Vento servitas!”
She saw the wind coming judging from the look of shock on her face, but she was going to fast to dodge out of the dive. I just laughed as she went into the sky again, trailing a stream of obscenities muffled by her speed.
It seemed I’d overdone it, because I had actually time to get up and dust myself off slightly before she came careening down again. This time however, her expression had gone from somewhat miffed to outright murderous. It frankly looked wrong on such a cute face.
Still, judging from how she was forming a fucking contrail I decided to not take any chances. I raised my left hand, the one you expel energy through and opened my palm as much as possible without dropping my rod. I fed energy into my shield bracelet and a semi-see through dome of pure force sprang into existence over my head.
Now, I wasn't heartless. It seemed clear this girl taught me a threat and was just defending her town. In what might have been the dumbest way possible, but still. So, I’d made the shield into what was basically this cushion of semi solid air.
I couldn't help but smile a bit cruelly at her sudden look of panic, though. She didn't know that.
She started fighting to rise, but she was going to fast. I wasn't quite certain what she’d planned initially, but breaking through a shield most certainly had not been it. She slowed herself down quite a bit, but she still hit the shield so hard the thing cracked rather than bounce her away. The dome faded as I stopped feeding it and the stunned mare landed near my feet.
Her look of dread, pain and shock mixed with just a bit of fear went straight back into livid fury as I bent down and petted her head. “A for effort, kid.”
She tried to struggle to her hooves and no doubt launch herself at me again, but I took that as a sign and opportunity to kick her quite hard in the side. She let out a quick shout from the pain, but I don’t think I caused any permanent damage. With my work-boots on it apparently hurt enough that she took the hint and stayed down. Her eyes still flashed with anger, but the trembling pegasus just laid there and glared up at me.
“...That wasn't very nice.”
The silk soft feminine voice surprised me, and made me turn. That was all the opportunity the prismatic pony prick needed to jump me again.
It was frankly a rather pitiful assault. She’d just spent too much energy on all that flying, and that crash had done her no favors. It was rather alike to being assaulted by a furious five year old. Sure, something is hitting you again and again with great energy and passion… but there isn't exactly much damage being done. Without my duster I’d have felt the bruises tomorrow, but since I was wearing it the assault was just pathetic.
She let out a primal scream of frustration and doubled her efforts as I crossed my arms and just let her flail at me for a bit.
“You done, kid?”I asked kindly as she finally sank down panting and sobbing. This just made her let out another battle cry and ‘charge’ me again.
I ignored her, and instead turned to look at the source of the voice from earlier. I swear, I almost dropped dead from pure ‘daw~w!’ at what I saw. This butter yellow pegasus with a long pink mane she was half hiding behind. I swear, if the Americans ever get gung-ho enough that they try to weaponize cuteness, that mare would still surpass the end result.
I gave her a tiny wave that made her eek. I bit back an urge to clutch my chest and fall backwards and instead pointed a finger down at what I assumed to be a friend of hers. “Slightest chance you can get this girl to back off?”
This induced a shout of “Don’t you ignore me!” from the mare.
Frankly, it made me snap. I’d fallen from the fucking sky, been assaulted and this was how I was getting treated?! I lifted my blasting rod and carefully aimed at a spot far enough that nobody would be hurt. With a growled “Pyrofuego!” a lance of blue-white flame shot out and turned that bit of the road to slag.
Aside from the tinks and other sounds of cooling rock, you could have heard a pin drop on the other end of the village. I glared down at the now trembling pegasus and gave her my best death glare. “Begone. Or I will stop ignoring you, you winged waste of talent.”
The prismatic pegasus prick, or PPP for short, just froze and somehow paled through her fur. Like she’d seen a mouse eat a cat, or something. I just snorted and stomped off to get my staff.
I sighed as a shout of “Stop! How dare you!” came from behind me.
I tucked my rod away and lifted my hand. With another application of “Vento servitas.” the two meter tall staff flew straight into my waiting palm. I turned and did my best to meet the yellow pegasus's glare with my own without looking her in the eyes. “Look Ma’am, your friend jumped me for the dreadful crime of falling through 'her' sky.”
The mare stomped nearer to me, positioning herself in such a way that she covered my line of sight to her exhausted friend. “And that gives you the right to toy with her like that? To destroy the road like that?!”
I tilted my head and thought it over. To her rather obvious chagrin and irritation. “Not really, but I’d argue it was a better and less nasty demonstration then on her, while still having more impact than if I’d fired a blast into the sky.” Both mares spluttered and paled a bit, as if me using such a spell on another person was utterly beyond the pale for them. A bit naive, but I took it as a good sign. Perhaps, just perhaps I’d just gotten unlucky and the rest of this place was if not civilized, then at least more pleasant than this damn town. I nodded towards one of the nearby thatched roofs. “That, and would you have liked if that blast had gone off course? A few cut stones are easier to replace than a house.”
I pointed my staff at the PPP, making them both flinch. “Fine, I handled it poorly… but if I’m in the wrong, so’s freaking she.”
A crack sounded from behind me, accompanied by a purple flash of light. This almost overbearing presence of magic I’d previously mistaken for the freaking magic of this world just appeared behind me. “Step away from my friends.”
I resisted an urge to swallow nervously. The voice had been rather pleasant… but with this tone of near royal commend that broke no disagreement.
With exaggerated slowness and my staff lowered to the ground, I turned and looked at the new arrival. Her appearance surprised me a bit. Not only was she a bit taller than everybody else I’d seen so far, but she had horns and wings.
She was also… very, very purple. It was kinda like looking at a pony shaped plum. We just took a moment to get shocked at each other’s appearance for a few moments, but all too soon she was all business. With narrowed eyes and this nimbus of gathered but yet used power, she started talking. “Who are you? Why have you come here, and why are you threatening my friends?”
I took how the last bit was near snarled as a bad sign. This mare was personally invested in this. Every instinct in me told me to raise my hands in a gesture of peace, but I kept them low. I wasn't certain if the gesture would be seen as such by the locals and I wanted to at least try to be diplomatic.
“Well, it was such a darling day for a walk. One thing lead to another, and here I am.”
I swear I heard crickets chirp from nowhere at my quip. The purple one let out a hot snort that misted in the air, but I held up a hand with my fingers spread before she could start shouting at me. “Fine. Seriously, then.” I jerked my head back a bit towards where the yellow mare was helping the PPP get to her hooves. “A gift from a new friend of mine turned out to have a few rather nasty side effects...” I jingled the amulet for her to see. For some reason, her eyes widened at seeing it. “...but unless involuntary dimensional travel, falling from the sky and using a wind spell to make sure you don’t splat is a crime in these parts I frankly think I've been acting quite civilized for somebody that got jumped by a violent bastard.”
I more felt then saw the PPP bristle, but she remained silent this time.
Her Purpleness seemed to find my words extremely intriguing though, almost to the point where that drove away the anger… but not quite judging from her slicked back ears and slightly flared wings. “You lie. Humans don’t have magic.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. Now that was interesting info. “One, wrong even if it is freakishly rare. Two, that’s rather arrogant of you since I just admitted to not being from this realm. And three, there are humans in this place?”
She twitched slightly. “That’s classified.”
I and the others got distracted by ludicrously wide smiling mint green mare falling out from behind the corner of a building a few hundred meters away. “I knew it! I knew it!”, she screamed at the top of her lungs, only to be muffled by a beige pony mare with caramels on her ass and be dragged out of sight to ‘safety.’
I turned back towards her Purpleness, folding my arms just to utterly signal how little a crap I gave about all of this. “Look. Your friend with the clown wig jumped me. I used minimal force and intimidation to get her to back off.”
With another scream of rage from the PPP and a sigh from me, the twit pounced me again. In response I swiveled around and drove a boot straight into her teats hard. She crumbled to the ground like the career of an honest politician, clutching between her legs and crying.
Honestly, it was like fighting children that had seen too much bad television. It was as if they expected me to just stand there and take their punches until ‘goodness’ prevailed. Or perhaps they didn’t expect a magic user to actually get their hands and feet dirty? Anyway, it was a rather bad effort on their part.
The yellow one I couldn't quite figure out a nickname for gasped and darted glaring at me to her friend's side.
I just turned to her Purpleness as if nothing had happened. “I believe that proves my case?”
Her Purpleness scraped her jaw off the ground… and turned into a freaking rapidash. Her mane turned to roaring flames, her fur so hot it turned white and eyes that looked like fucking fire pits. “Nopony hurts my friends!”
She lowered her horn and let go of this purple glowing burst of raw magic, aimed straight at me.
I got my arm and a shield up just in time to counter, but the impact drove me back almost half a meter. Jesus, what the hell did they feed their kids around here? “Ma’am! Please! There’s no r-”
With another scream and flaring of her wings, the mare shot another blast at me.
I was getting annoyed again. I decided to send a message by countering instead of blocking.
A wizards staff is not the strongest tool in a wizard's arsenal, but it is the most flexible. Since the biggest threat a wizard may pose is how they can do nearly anything if given enough time and preparations, that flexibility gives the tool a potency all on its own, however. They are superficially like a blasting rod, but a blasting rod conjures energies, while a staff uses magic to manipulate them.
Normally when counter-spelling, you need an actual way to actually negate things. A quenching of flames so that they won't burn, a melting of ice so that it won’t freeze or pierce… but just raw magic like that? Even with how raw my new skills felt, I could still swat those away from me until the cows comes home.
Of course, just doing that was still draining and I had a sneaking suspicion that this mare was considered rather badass from how all the locals had visibly calmed at her arrival. One of the cheekiest ones of them, a very pink pony mare with balloons of all things as her mark, was even sitting in a deckchair and eating popcorn.
A more interesting and less draining alternative was however, redirection. So I grabbed my staff like a baseball bat with both hands and swung, sending the ball of purple death straight back at the prick.
Technically I could have just raised my staff and willed it, but what was the fun in that?
Her jaw fell again and it apparently shocked her enough that the flame effect went away, but she teleported away of all things before she could be hit by her own spell. The spell itself had apparently a maximum range, because it harmlessly fizzled out after about a hundred meters or so.
Her Purpleness reappeared on a nearby roof, wide eyed and raving. “That isn't possible! How did you do that?!”
“Magic,” I deadpanned. I waved my staff at her with a cheeky smile. “It’s almost as if I’m a wizard or something!” I paused as her eye began twitching and a few strands of hair sprang out from her mane in a rather comedic fashion. “Say, that teleport was rather nifty. Slightest chance we can stop this madness and actually talk things over like adults?”
In response she just spread her wings and dove straight down at me. Horn pointed straight at my chest.
“No!” The PPP shouted. “Twi, quick! Get out of the air!”
It was too late, however. I’d already raised my staff, gathered the energy and… “Veni che!”
The wind based levitation caught her, holding her in place just about five meters up and away. It didn't last long before she dispelled it with a quick burst of light from her horn, but she looked a bit green at having been tumbled around in the air like that.
“You do realize that I’m holding back, right?” I let out a huge yawn without covering my mouth. “You're decent, I’ll grant you that… but you have the killer instinct of a drunk housefly. Can we please solve this diplomatically?”
She stumbled slightly as she landed, but she just pointed her horn at me again. “Then yield, and we’ll solve this legally.”
I just shook my head at that. “A court. In the land where I got jumped by somebody for falling from the sky? I don’t think that trial would be very fair.” I pointed a finger at the scowling mare. “Counteroffer. We stop this farce and actually talk like adults.”
She lowered her head, glaring at me. “I don’t know where you got that thing… but I recognize a copy of the alicorn amulet when I see it. Take it off, back off, and nopony gets hurt.”
A small mocking burst of light came from my chest. I thumped the amulet with a fist. “Be quiet. You've done enough for a day.” I got what could be best described as a low glower in response, if I’m allowed the pun. Still, no more light after that.
The small exchange seemed to utterly shock this ‘Twi’ character, however. “It’s self aware!?”
I just gave a shrug, trying not to sound positively caustic as I deadpanned. “I don’t rightly know. I've been too busy falling through time and space, only to be jumped for falling through the sky to sit down and have a chat with him.”
I got an angry red flare for that.
“Oh, sorry. Her.”
The amulet blinked red once, seemingly satisfied with my response.
Twi still seemed shocked, but she just squared her shoulders and glowered at me. “Look, Mr…?”
A sneaking suspicion flittered through me. A magic user, asking my name? Like that would lead anywhere well. Still, I kinda had something of an alias to default to. “Harry Dresden.”
“Harry,” she said in a surprisingly kind voice, before pointing a hoof at my amulet. “If that thing is what I think it is, then it is a magic booster that drives the user insane. Please, take it off and we can talk about this.”
I blinked at that. I held the amulet up to eye-height and glared at it suspiciously. “Anything to add to that?”
One blink. Then the cheeky bit of bling just fell silent.
I felt my eyebrow twitch involuntarily. “And that would be…?”
I got two blinks this time.
With a sigh, I tugged the thing over my head and placed it in one of my inner pockets. I get an angry little flash of red, but nothing else. I shot Twi a level look. “Better?”
She held out a hoof. “Give it here.”
“Not on your life,” I pointed my staff over my shoulder, roughly at the point of the sky I’d fallen through. “That thing brought me here. It’s my best bet for getting home.” I couldn't quite keep a snarl off my face as my eyes drifted to the PPP who’d pulled herself to her hooves again. “And I refuse to bow and scrape no matter who you think you are because I had to defend myself against a violent bastard.”
The PPP growled and started stalking towards me again, but her yellow friends proved to actually have a brain by grabbing her and holding her back. The rainbow maned twit struggled a bit, but she was too spent to get loose from her friends grip.
I flexed the fingers with the force rings on. I didn't like it, but a darker part of me realized I’d been able to solve this with two freaking spells by now. One for each idiot. I wasn't certain if my new magic followed the rules about corruption from dark deeds that the Dresden files have, or if I was just using mental shorthand for local stuff shoved into my mind from the amulet... but I’d rather not risk it either way. I doubted I’d even be able to do any of the more exotic things on the ‘absolutely never do this’ list anytime soon, but killing? That was within my power. Not that I considered myself a violent man, but this whole situation was fraying my nerves to the breaking point.
Heck, for all I knew the local stuff might have even more stringent ‘rules’ than the Dresden stuff. I was flying almost completely blind on a freaking magic carpet and this warm welcome wasn't helping matters.
I came to a conclusion.
Fuck it.
I gave the group the finger. They obviously wouldn't recognize the gesture, but I was hoping the intent would be clear from my body language. “I did not come here to cause trouble. I do not want any trouble. But frankly? This mess? It’s one of the least pleasant experiences I've had, so I'm turning and walking away. Stop me, and I’ll see that as a sign that there is nothing of value in those skulls of yours and get serious.” I lowered my arm and gave them all my darkest glare. “Please do not force my hand.”
Before the stunned bastards, and their admittedly much more level headed yellow friend, could do anything I’d swept around and started stalking off. I honestly didn't have a destination except away. This whole thing disgusted me. I just couldn't’ help but wonder… On the whole it was a clear upgrade, even If I’d liked more say in it… but I had been quite clearly warped. Would these pricks have jumped me... had I ended up of the quadruped persuasion? I had a rather dark suspicion that the answer was in the negative.
I’d half expected a spell to come whistling. I had not expected this purple tinkling aura to just form around my feet and lift me clear of the ground by my ankles. I bit back a expletive and growled at the now upside down mares. “You have to the count of five.”
A rather insistent tug on my staff happened as another aura formed. I just tugged back. I held up four fingers on my free hand.
“Please, give me the amulet. Let us help.” The condescending purple bastard even sounded as if she meant it. Right. And I was certain a ‘magic boost’ wasn't of the slightest interest to who was clearly the town practitioner or similar. Three fingers.
Another much harder pair of tugs actually relieved me of both my staff and blasting rod. They both floated over to Twi’s side. “Just fascinating…” She murmured, seemingly actually mesmerized by them. Two fingers.
“...Um, Twi?” The butter yellow one quickly said as she saw the look on my face. “I don’t think he’s giving up.” I flashed her a wide predatory grin that made her flinch slightly… then I held up one finger. Guess which one.
The PPP snorted. “Please, we took both his artificial horns. What is he gonna do?”
I clenched my fist. “Zero. Last fucking warning.”
Twi barely looked up from my stuff. “Sure. You do whatever you're about to do. I’m sure it will be impressive.”
The utter nonchalance just stunned me for a moment. “Seriously? Alien creature with unknown capabilities and gear, and your response is that?”
Twi rolled her eyes, making my pulse quicken. “It’s clear you need these for any serious magic. It’s a bit hard to be threatened by somepony that’s been the next best thing to dehorned.”
I shrugged and pulled my hand back. “Your funeral.”
Now, if you see the staff as a magical crowbar. It’s a potent tool and if you ‘swing it around’ you can do quite a bit of damage... but at the end of the day it is simply a flexible tool. By the same tool metaphor, the blasting rod is a combat-knife. Sure, it may be used for less bloody purposes, but it is clearly meant to be a weapon. In this context, force rings are basically magic knuckle dusters. They have one job, and that is to let you hurt whatever you swing them at.
I swung mine straight at the purple bastard’s shocked face and triggered every damn ring I had. “Assantius!”
The beam of invisible force was so intense it caused a slight lensing effect in the air as it rushed towards the mare. I had thought the rings would be next to empty since they were in a sense new, but apparently not. She dropped me and tried to put a shield up, but she simply wasn't fast enough. I half expected her head to be torn clean off, but it just snapped back, dragging all the rest of her through the air as if fired from a cannon. She hit what looked like the front door of a tree of all things with a loud crash. She hung there for a moment and then flopped bonelessly to the ground.
It sounded as if the entire town stopped breathing. The pink mare from earlier even choked on her popcorn.
I landed in a heap, but was soon on my feet. I worried a bit for my gun, but didn't have time to check. Instead I raised my hand and called my rod and staff to me with a quick and dirty burst of wind I didn't even bother with the incantation for.
That’s when the screaming and panic started. I had had enough, so I drew in the slow and heavy magic I was fairly certain was earth into an improved spell and slammed the tip of my staff down. The following boom shook the entire square. “Silence!”
I didn't wait for them to comply, I just started walking up to the still mare.
A sudden burst of magic and a strangely angry shout of “Knock, knock!” made me turn around.
Only to see the pink mare from earlier, but with her mane straight instead of looking like a pink rat’s nest for some reason. "Surprise!" she snarled at me in a strangely bubbly way.
And she was aiming a freaking canon straight at me. I didn't quite know how to react to that, but I got this strangest urge to say ‘Surprise, who?’ but I fought it down with a bit of willpower. For some reason the mare’s eyes widened in surprise at that. What the fuck? Who uses joke based magic?
I narrowed my own eyes at the now slightly trembling mare. “Same deal as before. Five.”
She fired the cannon. The payload of freaking streamers and confetti bounced of my duster.
I took a slow breath and mentally started counting backwards from ten. It really was like fighting children. Specist children with superpowers they seemed to threat as a freaking joke. The concept frankly pissed me off almost as much as how they’d so far been treating me had. “Four.”
The mare just looked in confusion between her canon and me. Then she fired it again, somehow without actually reloading it. I replaced my rod in it’s pocket, calmly wiped most of the custard off with the back of my hand, pulled out my handgun and calmly aimed it at her head. “This is what we consider portable weaponry we’re I am from. Hint, it does not fire custard.” I flicked the safety off and pulled the hammer back. The mare in turn froze in place, her ‘weapon’ falling from her hooves and gently rolling away. “Three, by the way.”
Luckily, this one took the fucking hint. She rushed off to the other group with tears streaming behind her, all but confirming the allegiance I’d previously only suspected. They huddled together, looking lost and pitiful.
I slowly walked up to what seemed to be their leader. Amazingly, she was still alive and even starting to stir.
Judging from the blood dripping down her wings from where bones had pierced skin, and how her horn had a large crack in it I didn't anticipate much resistance, however. She tried to get up and glare at me, but one of her forelegs had popped out of its socket, making her scream and fall down back to the ground when she tried to put weight on it.
I honestly felt… detached. This small part of me was screaming in horror at all this, but the rest just felt cold. Like I’d been in combat like this a thousand times, and it wouldn't be a problem until I could safely fall apart afterwards.
I lowered the hammer on the pistol and reapplied the safety, something I hadn't known how to do yesterday, before putting it back in its holster.
Then I walked up to, and glared down at her. “Angering a wizard is quite unhealthy, child.”
The purple mare tried to light her horn, but with a small bit back scream the tiny glow just flickered and died.
I raised my hands in front of me, making the whole place suck in a breath. The mare just lowered her head and closed her eyes, tears streaming out anyway.
Then I gave a slow clap. “A for effort, though.” Her eyes shot up and the tears stopped. She just looked confused… and a little pissed. “You might actually make a decent mage one day. Just drop that prismatic moron and get a friend with more than two brain cells instead. She’s not only unhealthy for you, but this entire town.”
I didn't wait to see what emotion the conflicted mare would actually settle on, instead I turned and walked away.
Now what?
I stopped and extended a single finger towards a random mare; One of the morons from earlier that had wipped the whole town into a panic. She had a blond mane with a lily stuck in it, a raspberry coat and trembling amber eyes. “You.”
At that simple word, her eyes gently rolled back in her head and she just fell to the ground like a toy somebody had knocked over.
I blinked, before just deciding to roll with it. I picked another mare. This one had a mane two different shades of pink, green eyes, a dark purple pelt and three smiling flowers on her ass. “You, then.”
Her companion, a red stallion wearing a bridle of all things and large enough to actually reach to my waist took a deliberate step in between us. I folded my hands over my chest and waited for it.
We ended up starting each other down for nearly five minutes before I broke the silence. “...Well?”
He just raised an eyebrow at me.
“Isn't this the part where you try to hit me first, while still somehow acting as if you're the moral victor in the whole resulting mess?”
The stallions eyes flickered over towards the quite literal tree house. "...Nope."
I looked over at Twi, now surrounded by her friends who were all staring at me and the strange exchange. The yellow one was the only one preoccupied as she was administering first-aid. Good. One less headache.
I looked back at the stallion, who thankfully hadn't tried anything. I decided to risk it and just held up my hands in a gesture of surrender. “Look, I just want to know the way to the capitol, or any other major settlement. Hopefully it won’t be this damn specist.”
His eyes narrowed at my last word and he pawed a bit at the ground.
I just folded my arms over my chest and snorted at him. “Look me in the freaking eye and tell me this mess would have happened if I looked like a local.”
A flicker of uncertainty danced over his face, making me smirk despite it all. He snorted at me. “You have a very irritating smile, Mr.”
That just made me smile a bit wider.
Wordlessly, the red stallion pointed a hoof at a mountain in the distance. I could just barely see something gleam halfway up it at this distance. “Canterlot. Can’t miss it.”
I blinked and cleared out my ear. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
This seemed to irritate him almost as the ‘specist’ comment. “I believe you heard me, Mr.”
I tapped my staff against my chin, looking at the place while keeping him in my peripheral “Interesting parallel. In my world, Camelot was the castle of the legendary King Arthur. Something of a symbol of strength and purity.”
Something flickered over near every face within earshot. Strange. “...Was?” The mare behind Mr. Red asked, seemingly mostly thinking out-loud.
“Don’t remember the details on the legend of Arthur, but his illegitimate son turned into some type of dark knight,” I answered half automatically as I planned how to get to that city without causing mass panic. “They ended up dying on each other’s blades. Quite the tragic tale, really.”
Again, that strange almost collective flicker. I was obviously missing something, but I didn't have a clue what.
The mare, seemingly emboldened by not having her head off asked another monosyllable question. “...Why?”
I gave a shrug. “Something about a prophecy. A prophecy that Arthur ended up fulfilling just because he tried to stop it.” I made a grimace. “Basically, he had one moment of darkness and it damned him." My head drifted back to the group of mares who were rather obviously trying to look as they weren't listening. "Can’t say I care for stories like that.”
“...And that moment would be?” Mr. Red asked, clearly fascinated despite himself.
“It was prophesied that his own son would end him,” I made a cutting gesture across my throat. “Short version. Mordred the so called traitor’s main crime was that he as a child survived. A bit grim.”
Again that flicker, but this time mixed in with both disgust and horror. Honestly, it wasn't that grim a tale.
“Anyway, a pleasure to have a civilized conversation. I was beginning to doubt this realm held intelligent life, to be blunt.” I intentionally turned away from them and gave a small wave. “I better leave before the local champions or something knowing my luck shows, and this nasty dance starts again. Ta.”
I didn't get any reply as I sauntered off, my shoes and staff clicking on the stone. Hadn't expected one, but it was still a bit rude.
As I walked and the locals shirked out of my path, I thought things over a bit. I’d been a rather disgusted with what I’d almost ended up needing to do, but all in all? Not a bad result. I’d prefer to not have had gone through any of that crap, but a slight reputation that the spindly biped doesn't take any crap might be quite healthy until I figure out how to get home. I doubted the word of three morons would mean much outside this tiny village, even if they got backed up by their only friend with a brain. In combination with the entire town having seen that battle and how I’d given them such ample chances to back off..., Even if most of them seemed to be a bunch of panicky morons, I should be safe.
A tinkling of silver against silver reminded me. I needed to have a long ‘chat’ with a certain piece of bling, but that could wait until I made camp.
I groaned a bit as I hit the edge of the town and saw just how far I had. It looked like several days by foot.
With a shrug and whistling a merry tune, I headed out towards this ‘Canterlot’ place. Silly name, but I felt fairly certain I’d get a warmer reception in that town.
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Will Rainbow Dash be beating anybody up (or at least be getting really mad) in this story?
Does 'Harry' believe it's a silly place to go with that silly name?
Finally, a protagonist with sense!
One of the things that annoys me most in a work of fiction is when characters surrender when it would be in their best interest to do otherwise. That, and when they take the blame (again, without reason) for something not their fault.
By the way, "condensation purple bastard" (a wet, purple bastard) should instead be "condescending purple bastard".
Excellent. This is shaping to be the most interesting of the humans acting villainous -genre of stories in my opinion.
As heavy a hitter as Twilight is, this wouldn't be the first time Harry has hit someone outside his weight class, and since Bjorn is now basically Harry minus the experience it's only naturally that this happened.
Also, Twilight... when a strange creature asks if you want to talk it over you say YES!
3993036
He could have done the same without being quite such a dick but i bet that he isn't really himself right now and is at least being influenced a bit by a outside force.
On the other hand the ponies are acting kind of stupid but on a second thought and Twilights mention of how humans need artifacts and tools to wield magic kind of implies that they had problems with humans before, or it simply refers to the sunset debacle.
3993471 Perhaps he was. There were two bits of "dickishness" that I observed (kicking Dash when down and kicking between the legs), not counting the attitude. However, those can be justified easily by their utility, by the fact that they were responses to Dash's attacks, and because he tried gentler methods of dissuasion first.
The attitude, while not ideal, seems a perfectly reasonable response to the situation (attacked for no reason... twice).
3993526
the part where he kicked her while down was the part that made me say he was being a major dick about it he could have just pushed her away with a bit of wind magic, flared his shield in her direction to block her or just step away a bit its obvious she no longer poses a serious thread and is at worst a distraction.
The attitude is completely in character even if he could have held back a bit in the swear word department.
Also he didn't even say "Stars and Stones" or "Hells bells" at least once
Word count at time of typing: only 1999.9 + shipping &handling
This chapter is incredibly good in estabilishing a Dresden Files vibe. You catched Dresden's defiance against authority, his no-nonsense attitude when dealing with fights, willingness to fight dirty, and his sharp wit that makes the ponies look like morons. I also enjoyed how you contrasted Dash and Twilight restraint of using their full power in a fight against Dresden's more pragmatic approach. Great chapter.
Let us not go to canterlot , tis a silly place.
Awesome!!
"Harry's" attitude, tactics, magic and even exposition seem spot on, well done! The only mistake I saw was saying that the Left side of the body was the one that projected energy. The right projects and the left absorbs, that's why the shield is on the left, to keep out harmful energy. Also, "Harry" should say "Hell's bells" and "Stars and stones" a number of times.
Also, when Pinkie does here "Knock-knock" thing, I think she should follow up with actually saying "Surprise" when Bjorn/Harry looks at her.
Am I the only person who isn't too concerned about "Harry" being in character? After all, he is a being who was transformed into a shape resembling Harry Dresden...
First proofread I've ever done. Went through with Microsoft word, looking at each underscored piece. Likely meaning I missed other things.
Should be "really is"
"areas" should be "area"
"dived" should be "dove"
"her" is duplicated
"met" should be "meet"
"pegasus" should be "pegasus's"
"and" is duplicated
"friends" should be "friend's"
"wizards" should be "wizard's"
"wont" should be "won't"
"An" should be "A"
That period should probably be a comma.
Double space between "but" and "she"
"Your" Should be "You are" or "You're"
"an" should be "a"
Period should probably be a comma
"if" should be capitalized
"off" should be "of"
"More odder" I am pretty sure is wrong, period. I think Stranger is the correct term, but there might be a way to correct is closer to as is.
"the" as the third word shouldn't be there.
"three" should be "tree"
"the" probably should be "them to"
The period probably should be a semicolon ' ; '
"wiped" should be "whipped"
"the" near the end should probably be "this"
"stallions" should be "stallion's"
Hopefully that helps.
That last line. That fucking last line.
Ooohhh, man. This is going to be good.
You've got Harry down pat. Keep up the excellent work serrah!
3992790
Honest answer? Probably, but I honesty don't know. I'm writing this almost completely as I go along. I've got couple of beats I intend to hit and a vague idea on how I want to end this.
That's it. That's the reason the chapters for this has been coming so fast as well. I'm basically just having Björn stumble through Equestria and having everypony react to that.
It's honestly rather exciting and fun to write. I'm glad everybody seem to enjoy it so far as well.
3992971 3994023
3993607 3993526
Keep in mind. Björn was flung across time and space, warped into the likeness of a fictional character, attacked because his way way to stop himself from going splat fucked up RD's work... and he still used gust of wind twice and a shield before resorting to that kick.
I was frankly worried that people would think he was being unnaturally saint like in only escalating as much as he did!
3994061
Thank you for the kind words!
And oops. Thanks for pointing it out. I though about it, and I'm actually leaving the hands part as is. There's going to be a part in the next chapter were Björn realizes he screwed up and it could have cost him his life against a serious opponent instead. Should be a bit more interesting and give him a few 'anti-Sue' point.
Keep in mind, this isn't Harry Harry. The different swears is something I've done to set him apart a bit. Björn will experiment with that kind of stuff, though.
You are absolutely correct about that joke however. I literally forgot to write out that part.
Consider it fixed.
3993991
Thanks!
Twilight would have actually whooped Björn/Harry's ass if she hadn't underestimated him so badly. Even holding his feet and arms would have done it.
Then again, that happens disturbingly often to Harry...
3994345
Replaced whole with 'resulting',
Changed to 'exotic.'
Other then those, noting to add except fixed. Thanks a whole bunch. I got a bit too eager with posting this chapter it seems.
3993798
'Sadly' lost to some fixes.
But I'll admit, that's quite the number to end up at.
3995136
Doa! I thought it was suddenly too easy to spell!
Fixed.
Other then that, glad your enjoying it!
And The Raven really is a forgotten classic. A shame so few seem to have seen it.
Well, I actually only reviewed the third (second?) chapter, since I had just read it. Not the kind of story I want to let die if avoidable, after all.
May look at earlier chapters again. Similar issues there as well.
3997026
Please do if you have the time.
3996797 Even in that context, however, the kick when she was down and the crotch-shot could be considered dickish. I'd say that they might have even been necessary, but being dickish out of necessity does not (technically) prevent it from being dickish.
For additional insight on my point of view:
If you went back in time to kick Hitler in the crotch, it would be dickish simply because it's a crotch-shot. We'd applaud you, knight you, or give you a Nobel Peace Prize for it, but it would still be dickish.
As a side note, the Nobel Peace Prize was included in the list only for completeness. You can get a Nobel Peace Prize for not killing people anymore or making campaign promises (keeping promises not required).
3996797 Well her getting mad to the point where she tries to hurt or even kill someone seems to be a thing in these stories, so you might as well.
3997763 Admittedly, Rainbow attacked him. Attacked him again, and again, even after he showed he was excessively superior to her. This is totally in character for Rainbow, admittedly, and I can't really blame him for using something drastically more painful but still non-lethal on her. That she continued after he burned part of the road, well, that's not really surprising either. Rainbow does have a large ego, so isn't really going to back down from something as minor as getting beat into the ground repeatedly.
The wind spell alone would be enough to kill the entire Mane 6. I've developed a version that's designed to kill any biological organism. You simply pull the air in their lungs in all directions at once, causing it to explode out.
3999138
...So, is that a joke or have I missed a grammatical rule about speaking about royalty?
3993036
Glad you like it. It's a bit more work to have intelligent characters on both sides of a conflict without all the drama fading away in a haze of diplomacy, but the end result is so worth it.
And fixed.
Hmm... he should not diss joke-based magic.
Thunderstruck (which is updating again) has a guy who uses stage magic-based magic, and is much more powerful than people give him credit for, being able to do virtually anything as long as it can be conceptualized/related to a stage trick. He has teleported behind a locked door (which he opened just like that), stolen from the bag of another wizard, stole the bullets out of a gun, and even protected himself from bullets with his hat.
The type of magic matters little, only making good use of it.
4006841
as an avid reader of the dresden files, it should be ventas servitas, and i dont think that harry ever had to say a word for the ring release.
Should be Now
Should be Through
1) It made my fish out
me
2) aiming a freaking canon
cannon
3) backwards from ten.
you just said 5.
4) something knowing my luck shows
something, knowing my luck, shows
3997763 I wouldn't say she tried to kill him though, she pinned him to the ground for destroying her manufactured weather, yelling what that was about, and later just pummeling him uselessly. Of course, had he not worn his duster, he'd be seriously injured. One of the main problems with Dash is, that she doesn't realize how much she can hurt a human, we might be tall bipedal creatures, but we don't have a natural protective coat and thick muscles, that are somewhat invisible on equestrian ponies.
Applejack for example was able to stop a cart filled with tourists with her hind legs. I give sometimes their powers are exaggerated for comedy purpose (Rainbow Dash turning into a nuke explosion), but that scene with Mare Do Well was clearly not for comedy purpose.
That said, if Rainbow is half as strong as Applejack, she can easily have more kinetic force while flying at high speeds at her target. The effects on a human are devastating when hit with something like her, but ponies actually seem much more resistant to serious physical injuries.
I'm a bit surprised that Twilight was even seriously injured, but I guess this could be explained with 'Dresden' using magic from 'his own' world, which is much less a comedy world. He practically unknowingly disabled the 'Toon-physics' law, the one that protects ponies from getting injured too much even though it still happens, and made her very vulnerable.
It maybe connected to how the character influences the world around him or his magic specifically.
Twilight and Pinkie seem just a little ooc here since they aren't Twilight isn't really trying to stop Dash from attacking and Pinkie was prepared to sit back and enjoy the show rather than great the new arrival with a party or something.
That said i really like the Lyra cameo, hopefully Ponyville's resident anthropologist will show up again at some point in this fic.
LOL!I love him defending himself!
throw should be threw
5939695
Fixed. Thanks.
"Toying" with her? That's Bjorn honestly trying not to hurt her. Combat magic means fire and air to Harry and by extension, him. The kind that kills. And he's generally avoided physically harming her too. As much as he can.
I will say that this does not seem OOC. This is what happens when a group used to winning and with a lot of bravado (especially in the form of one particular member who drags the rest along, since she won't give up, thus the others have to act to help her) runs into someone stronger and who also won't give up. That said, this was a bit hard on the six, and I am uncertain if Mr. Dresden is supposed to be that powerful unprepared. That being said, he is written to be quite powerful in the books, aside from his tendency to try to plan his way around things (at very least, hard to kill when the plan goes pear-shaped, as per the usual).
Though not OOC, I am not sure I like this so far, though. Causing that much damage to the locals seems OOC for him and is also concerning. Even if he should get to some level of relation with them that is NOT kill-on-sight (and if they can recover!), it is somewhat sad, and likely going to cause issues when the big bad shows up.
WWWOOOWWW...JUST, WWWOOOWWW !!!!!!