//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 - Heresy! // Story: Horse Feathers - A tale from the Humans Acting Villainous verse // by Lord Of Dorkness //------------------------------// I’d found this rather comfy half-hollow in a sandy hill near a brook to set up camp in. Not very surprisingly given who I now resembled, fire hadn't been much trouble and I had this cozy little log fire going. I chuckled a bit to myself at that. Lumber-jacking was actually rather fun when you could just point your staff at something and shout a spell. The small pile of birch saplings nearby I’d knocked down were probably serious overkill for one night, but I didn't have a clue about the wildlife around here. Given that the local populace was seemingly made up from freaking mythological creatures I’d decided to not risk running out of fuel. Fire is actually a rather interesting thing, elementally and magically speaking. It consumes and devours… but it also changes and strengthens. Makes sense if you just think about it. Even a completely mundane fire can both burn and warm you after all, sometimes even both at the same time. Like many things in both magic and knowledge, it all depended on how one wielded it. I taped my feet in the air, one leg crocked over the other as I just laid there on the ground near the fire. It was rather meditative. The cracks of the flames, the bubbling of the brook, the rain against my shield… Oh yeah, rain against my shield. Quite the puzzle. The drops just splattered against the now rather smoke filled half-dome I’d made mostly as an experiment. It served beautifully as a roof of a sort, but it shouldn't have. Water is another greedy element, but in a different way to fire. Go pour a bottle of the finest wine into the ocean. You might have made a passing fish quite dead and or happy while pissing of any wine lovers nearby… but the ocean doesn't care. It still thirst and hungers. One of the ways this showed was in how flowing water was supposed to treat magic. You know all those old tales about nasty things just stopping at a river? Basically, the water is just supposed to greedily dig into their essence and pull it away. For anything more magic than flesh, running water is supposedly the next best thing to a shower in acid dipped razor-blades. I let out a thoughtful hum and stared at my shield as I scratched at my stubble. So why was my shield doing the impossible? Even magic has rules, and this broke a rather major one to my rather limited knowledge. It had gotten a bit more power-hungry during this downpour, but it should have popped like a balloon in an exploding needle factory. It was a rather interesting conundrum, and I frankly thought it quite relaxing to just lay here and try to puzzle it out after the darn day I’d had. I wasn't exactly making much headway since I basically had a few spells showed into my head and my recollection of a fictional magic system to work with, but it beat laying there and thinking on how screwed I currently was. What can I say? I’m not one for angst. I’d of course do my utmost to get home and if not reclaim my own face, then at least make this one my own… but considering I’d been in a wizards duel just hours past I frankly considered most of this the price of admission. Magic, right? Who hasn't dreamed? I most certainly had. It was one of the things that had pulled me in about the Dresden series actually. Dude has awesome phenomenal cosmic powers in a setting where everybody ‘knows’ magic doesn't exist… and his response to that is opening a small office with the word ‘wizard’ printed on the bloody door? No trying to topple all worldly governments, no trying alchemy to just breeze by in life… Just one dude that’s basically a PI, just with scrying and fireballs instead of notepads and revolvers. I couldn't quite stop a grin as I felt the pistol in my pocket. Of course, one should always move with the times… I got a bit serious as I raised my hand with the shield bracelet on and feed a bit more magic into the construct. I lowered my left hand again. It was a bit embarrassing, but after a bit of experimentation I’d realized I’d been using that focus almost completely the wrong way. It seemed I’d remembered wrong on which hand did what. Technically, it was mostly an efficiency thing. I’d done the magical equivalent of sucking instead of blowing if I’m allowed to be a bit crude... but that type of slip-up might have still cost me my life if that fight from earlier hadn't been so half-assed. All it would have taken was something a bit more foul then a pissed pegasus or raw but pure magic meeting my shield and it might have utterly fucked up my system. I let out an unhappy grunt and shifted slightly on the ground. To give the devil his dues, it seemed quite clear they had been mostly holding back just as much as I had. I’d just gotten in the best sucker punch once things actually escalated enough. A pity the PPP was such an utter hot-headed fool, because the other girls had seemed quite alright. Granted, I couldn't help but get a ‘Sarah, age six’s favorite toys’ vibe off ‘em thanks to how gosh darn cute they all were and those colors, but that was hardly their fault. I fought down a sad sigh. Still, I believe that particular bridge can be considered burned and the ground it stood on thoroughly salted. No sense to dwell. A burst of light from my pocket with an almost sulking quality to it reminded me. I just looked sternly towards my pocket. “I’ll admit, I don’t think you're evil incarnate. If you were, you’d done something nastier.” I jabbed a finger hard at my pocket and the amulet inside. “But dragging me across time and space like that, and warping my body like this without my permission? Consider this a serious timeout, young Lady. You’ll be taken out tomorrow.” I got a series of flashes I’m fairly certain was ‘cray-cray magic amulet speak’ for a string of obscenities that would have made me blush if I understood them, but after that she grew still. I swear I felt an evil ‘glare’ from my own pocket, though. I just ignored it. Instead I checked my dinner. I didn't exactly have any idea how long I’d actually spent drifting in that void but that ‘fight’ had left me feeling ravenous. I wasn't a great outdoors-man or anything, but hey, magic. It was a rather egregious bit of loophole abuse since I was still worried about the no killing with magic thing, but snagging jumping fishes with burst of wind had proven child’s play. Using my sword to gut and clean them had been a bit awkward, but it had worked and now I had this row of nearly a dozen skewered fishes turning gently golden brown near my fire. I didn't have any seasoning, but the sight and smell still made my mouth water. A small rustle made me look up. Apparently I wasn't the only one that thought it smelled nice. It was a bit obscured by the quickly fading light and the rain, but I could just see this white chicken of all things staring at me. It had the oddest intensely red eyes and seemed to be giving me a death glare of all things, but it seemed a normal enough bird. Who am I to question providence? “Hey, ugly?” I said in a pleasant conversational tone that would only fool an animal while pulling out my pistol. I undid the safety and aimed it at her. “If you’re not sapient, say ‘cluck.’” I took how it let out an angry gobble and intensified its glare as invitation for tomorrow’s dinner and blew its head off. With a bang much louder than on television the chicken’s head turned into a red mist, while the body fell spasming down into the bush. I got the oddest sense of mental disconnect at the act. Again, like I’d done something a thousand times before, but still for the first time. With a shrug I fished out a .45 ACP bullet out of my pockets and started the rather tedious act of topping off the clip. Nowhere near as fast as in the games, I’ll say that much. Luckily given the theme of my costumes I had enough ammo to fight a small platoon… but I only had that one clip. It didn't matter for the Winchester since it had an internal magazine you feed from outside when you need to reload, but the staying power of my pistol in a serious fight was currently rather limited. Since I doubted the locals had guns at quite this tech-level given the magical streamer cannon from earlier I simply didn't see much chance in fixing that so I was trying to use the less practical ammo first. With a grunt of irritation I placed the gun back after I was done. In fact, I didn't have a lot of things for these guns since they’d been only props only days ago. To my pleasant surprise I’d actually found a small cleaning kit in the holster for the Winchester, but no such luck for the pistol. It was probably only a matter of time before the handgun stopped working on me, no matter how careful I was. I pulled out my strangely still normal and functioning cell-phone. It wouldn't for much longer one way or the other since its battery was dying… but after all the magic I’d been both near and throwing around it should be bricked by now. Dresden style wizards and tech don’t mix, you see. They've got this aura of raw magic just pouring out of them that usually works as a quite potent techbane field. Feeling a bit cheeky and wanting to thumb my nose at fate, I played a round of Angry Birds. Nothing happened. Didn't even manage a new high-score. I tapped a finger at the side of the thing. I was a bit tempted to test out another spell from the series. Hexus. It was basically a weaponization of that same techbane aura. If it worked, or even if it didn't, it would tell me quite a bit about the local rules of magic. That, and it might be a very good counter in case I ran into any more things like that cannon but with actual ordinance in them. Testing that kind of stuff on the battlefield is never wise. I placed my cell back into its pocket, switching it off to save battery. But on the other hand this was technically not only a computational device, but by local standards, an alien one. For all I knew it might be the fastest supercomputer on the planet. Heck, it might be the only computer period on this planet. The locals seemed a bit xenophobic, but hardly stupid. Blowing up what might be the biggest bargain chip on me for info I was reasonably certain I could find in a public library was rather shortsighted. With a short glance at my fish to check that they weren't getting burnt, I grunted myself to my feet and got ready to stalk over to check my kill. The fish seemed done, so I took a moment to move their skewers further away from the fire before stomping over and digging around in the bush. It took a little looking, but I just stared at the scaly and feathered thing I actually found in the bushes. What the fuck? Then it clicked. A chicken mixed with a snake. The offspring of a snake and a rooster. A shiver raced down my spine. I’d been staring down a cockatrice without even noticing. Come to think about it, I had felt this strange prickling from its gaze. Had it really been trying to turn me to stone? I quickly flexed my joints and tried to feel for any lingering magic. To my relief, I found no stiffness and nothing but my own inner reserves. It seemed I’d dodged quite the bullet by firing my own. I let out a sigh of relief. Still, it made me reevaluate the potential threat the local wildlife posed… and even if it was begrudgingly, my animosity towards the locals a little as well. It was rather bloody stupid of them not to have a town-wall if things like this roamed the countryside, but their stampeding at a strange thing just dropping down in their sanctum slash home suddenly made a bit more sense. It was still both rude and stupid off them to panic at the sight of the mighty wizard raising his hand and saying ‘Um, hi?’ but it made a little more sense to me, at least. I snagged a leaf and gently dropped it into the spreading pool of cockatrice blood near where its head had been. I knew from watching too much Discovery channel that all snakes on my world at least are edible, and chicken was kind of a given… but I wasn't certain if I wanted to risk it with their mutant magic offspring. Nothing happened to the leaf, but I still decided to just chuck the thing deeper into the woods with a quick burst of wind. No sense in taking chances with something as nasty as petrifaction. I was just about to head back to the warmth of my fire when a voice came drifting over the wind. “I tell you, Applejack. It came from this way.” The voice didn't exactly scream ‘highwayman’ to me. In fact, if I didn't know better I’d say it was a rather high-class woman’s voice, speaking in a Mid-Atlantic accent of all things. Still, I sunk deeper into the shadows. My staff was still near the fire, and my sword cane and Winchester was hidden away in the hollow. The last two weren't that well hidden, but compared to the staff I’d just jabbed into the dirt a bit from the fire they might as well have been laying in the hands of Jimmy Hoffa. Another woman’s voice answered the first speaking in, I kid you not, a freaking southern drawl. I honestly wasn't certain if I should be fascinated by the similarities on display, or face-palm at the implication that even the multiverse had seemingly a thing for plagiarism. “Yah really sure, Rarity? This wagon just ain't meant for this terrain. It’s s-“ Her no doubt colorful euphemism got cut off as she no doubt spotted my camp. “Well, Ah stand corrected. Good ears, Rares.” I’d pegged the new arrivals as more ponies from how low a point their voices came from, but it didn't sound as if I had the legal kind of company. I moved a bit closer while sticking to the shadows. I wasn't certain just how well they could see, but given that they had eyes in a size that honestly made me wonder what more efficient alternative to grey-matter they’d evolved I was betting on ‘really well.’ I caught sight of two ponies with a small wagon of a sort. The wagon seemed mostly empty, but they were both wearing bulging saddlebags. I must admit I made a double take at that first, but on second thought I realized that without the ‘horses are animals’ connotation it must simply be the local version of backpacks. The first, an almost alabaster unicorn with a fuchsia mane and tail carefully styled in almost a corkscrew pattern. She all but screamed high maintenance Lady. Even out here in the sticks, a bit wet and with mud up to her fetlocks she just had that special grace you only see in people that actually strive for it. I still didn't know what those emblems I swear I recognized from somewhere was about, but she had three gems as hers. They were just the right shade of blue that I couldn't tell if they were meant to be sapphires or diamonds, but I swear I saw one of them sparkle in the light of my fire. That made me really curious how they’d been made. Just how had somebody managed that on fur? I had a suspicion the answer was ‘magic,’ but still… That answer just didn't sound as dismissive to my ears as it had just a few days ago. That’s about at the moment I realized I’d been staring at a unicorn’s butt for a bit longer than was probably healthy for my sanity. As intriguing a design as it was and how little the locals seemed to care for clothes, I couldn't help but feel I was close to ‘too much and you’ll go blind’ territory. I shifted my gaze to her companion. This mare seemed almost the total opposite of her companion. Her coat was a rather pleasant shade of orange. A bit brighter than anything I’d considered natural before all this, but not unpleasantly so. Her mane and tail were a rather pretty and surprisingly mundane golden blond, the former tied into a braid that reached halfway down her back and crowned by a Stetson of all hats. The Stetson wearer who I presumed to be Applejack needed to detach from the wagon, but Lady Rarity was already sniffing around my camp in a slightly disturbing literal fashion. It felt strange to see what pushed so many of my ‘a person’ buttons act in a manner that pushed a few of my ‘an animal’ ones. Still, I filed the info away in case I needed it. Being hounded by the next best thing to sapient bloodhounds seemed quite unpleasant. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of gunpowder still lingering, but I swear I saw her eyes light up at seeing the fish. They are omnivores despite the equine appearance? I almost growled as she reached out for one of my fish, but she just held a hoof over it before turning to her companion. “Whoever’s here can’t have been gone long. The food is still warm.” “No offence, Rarity...” Applejack pointed a hoof at my smoke filed shield with a humorous expression. “Yah might want to get an eye or horn exam.” I fought back a snort and eye-roll. Cute. Rarity leaned her head back and blinked at my shield. “Oh my. I can’t believe I missed that.” Applejack snorted before walking up to her friend. Her nose wrinkled as she drew near. “What’s that smell? Smells like fireworks and… wet leather?” I saw the hairs on her neck rise, even at a distance. “Is that blood?” Rarity took another sniff. “…Yeah. And not only fish, but I don’t recognize the type.” Applejack fidgeted, clearly nervous. “Is this a gryphon hunting party camp?” She spoke the words to the whole area, scanning around but not noticing me in the gloom. Good eyesight, but poor night vision, perhaps? Might explain why they were so keen on finding an already set up camp. And gryphons as well, and sapient at how she addressed the place? Interesting… “If so, stop this darn ghost routine. It ain’t funny.” I was just about to oblige since this drizzle was highly annoying, when Rarity’s eyes snapped to my staff. I slunk back into the shadows and decided to see what was about to happen. Her horn lit up, forming an aura around my focus. She let it go almost instantly, letting off a gasp and backing off as if her tail was on fire. As I’d suspected, the Applejack girl had far more in the brains department than her accent suggested since she didn’t stop or ask anything, she just darted off with her friend. My, my… shrewd. Wonder how many she’s made to just completely underestimate her with the country-gal routine? Granted, for all I know that accent might be the local stereotype of well-read genius and her friend the one that sounds like a redneck, but still. Rarity’s eyes didn't leave my staff until Applejack poked her hard in the side. “Alright, spill it,” Applejack nodded towards the focus. “Why’d yah dart of from that badly carved bit of driftwood?” I felt a pang of irritation at hearing my sweat and tears called that. The staff might have been warped and upgraded a bit beyond the old hockey stick it had once been, but I’d still poured quite a bit of work into it. Still, I fought the sneer down. I was learning way too much valuable information to let a jab of irritation and wounded pride stop me. Rarity pointed a slightly trembling hoof at the staff. “It… feels like a horn. A live one.” Applejack clearly balked at the statement. “Wha…? Yah can’t be serious. That bit of wood?” Rarity seemed at a loss for words, she just nodded not even taking her eyes of my staff. I scratched my chin and thought it over while the two mares stared at ‘that bit of driftwood.’ That was actually rather interesting info. I’d gathered that my things were rather fascinating by local standards, but these two mares stared as if they’d found a cold fusion reactor blueprint and prototype the size of a toaster at the local flea market. Had a nation were seemingly a third of the population were mages as I knew them failed to produce any alternative to their horns? Granted, a natural focus just growing out of your forehead sounded as it might a bit too good to bother looking for alternatives. Applejack had gone back to scanning the tree line. “Rarity, that ain't the kind of stuff somepony just leaves behind. And it ain't something the average Joe would have, either. I think we should go.” “Applejack!” Rarity snapped at her friend in a whisper. “If that is what I think it is… We can’t just leave something like that here!” Applejack gave her friend a downright unfriendly level look. “So, what exactly are yah saying, Rarity?” Rarity, to her credit, seemed quite mortified with her friend’s implication. “Not like that!” She pointed at my by now cooling dinner. “I say we wait. Politely ask where or how its owner got such a thing, and if he or she would care to part with it. Perhaps just letting Twilight study it, or something.” I couldn't help it. I gave a slow clap. I didn't care if it made both mares jump out of their skins. It was just nice to see that there actually existed decent people on these shores. That they seemingly had at least a passing interest in pursuits more noble then ‘beat up the freak’ was just doubly pleasant. Both mares got really tense, but they seemingly forced themselves to just stand there in a relaxed posture. Rarity’s poker-face was a bit better than Applejack's, but they were both flicking their tails in annoyance. I stayed in the shadows, but I cleared my throat and raised my voice. “Sorry about the ‘ghost routine,’ but I've met a few nasty customers on these shores.” I hesitated as I wasn't certain if I wanted to go that ‘into character’ but I decided to roll with it. That Rarity girl at least seemed like the type to respond well to manners, and I could use every edge I could get. Besides, a good impression is always an asset. “I hope the small transgression in manners may be forgiven, Ladies? No ill intent, I swear. I was just away in the forest dealing with a small pest that had snuck up on me and decided to wait and see on seeing you in my camp. I hope it is understandable given the circumstances?” Rarity’s eyes near lit like happy bonfires on being referred to as a Lady, but she frowned a bit at the part about ‘a pest.’ Applejack just snorted and narrowed her eyes, still scanning for but missing me every time it seemed. Did they really have that poor dark vision? That just might be a good non-lethal combat method. “Care to come out and say that? And just what do yah mean with ‘pest?’” “Slightest chance the name ‘cockatrice’ means anything on these shores? One of the disturbing things snuck up on me.” Judging from how both mares blinked it did. Rarity spoke first, in a carefully polite voice. “Forgive me… but a cockatrice, a small pest?” “To be utterly honest I only saw its head and thought I’d gotten lucky thanks to a farmer's ill fortunes…” I gave a shrug that Applejack actually zeroed in on. Interesting, so a bit easier for them to see movement in the dark? “Not that it would have really changed anything. I've got a rather simple policy on anything that tries to kill and eat me.” Both mares nodded slowly. They didn't quite seem to like my answer, but not enough to disagree with the statement. Applejack was frowning, her eyes locked on where she’d seen me move. It seemed she was calculating my height and not really liking the answer. “Yah a dragon, mister? Can’t say ah mind, but I’d like some warning.” My, my… dragons as well? What an interesting realm I've ended up in. “No, Ma’am, but I've gotten the impression I’m rather exotic by local standards. Just a fair warning.” Both mares tensed a bit at that. Rarity did that extra polite voice thing again. “…Well, I’m certain we’ll be able to handle it for a gentlecolt as yourself.” I actually smiled at that. Applejack seemed to notice my teeth, but except keeping a close eye on me she made no comment. I took that as signal that it was time to go out and at least attempt a civilized meeting. Their eyes widened quite a bit when I passed the tree line, but I kept the smile on and raised my right hand in greeting while keeping the other with the thumb tucked into one of my pockets. “Howdy, pleasure to meet you both.” I gave them both a nod. “Kinda overheard both your names, so to be even mine’s Harry Dresden. A pleasure” Rarity just blinked and let out a low “Oh my.” seemingly a bit lost in how tall I was. Applejack however, just narrowed her eyes at me. I stopped and tilted my head. “...Was it the howdy? I was just trying to be informal. It wasn't a quip at the accent.” Her expression softened a bit, but only a little. “Don’t care when somepony lies to me. Real name, Mr…?” That made me blink. Still, I suppose the truth would do. “The place I learned my magic from capital N Names are considered a big deal. Sorry, but I’m a bit too nervous with the amount of magic users around here to give out that. If it makes any difference, Harry Dresden is the only fake name I use.” I couldn't quite keep a chuckle in. “Consider it something of a mask, if you want.” Both mares blinked again at that; seemingly a bit shocked I’d just fessed up like that. Rarity spoke up first. “...What do you mean with ‘capital N Names?’” I walked over to my fire and sat down before answering. “The local costumes with fire and food are…? Just wondering if I count as a host or not.” I pointed at my fish. “No seasoning, and honestly I don’t even know if you guys eat meat or not, but the polite thing for me is to ask.” Applejack seemed to warm up quite a bit at that. “Well, ah’ll be… mighty kind of you, but w-” Applejack let out an umph as Rarity shoved her hoof into her mouth, mud and all. The mare shot her friend a disgusted look before darting off to wash her mouth in the brook. Rarity was just drooling, and her eyes hadn't left the fish. It was rather disturbing, actually. “What my friend meant to say is that of course we’d like to break bread with you, so to speak.” Ever seen a unicorn all but skip… because you're dangling the flesh of the aquatic equivalent of innocent woodland creature in front of her? Well, it’s adorably disturbing. And then she grinned wide enough that I saw canines. Rather pointy ones that gleamed. Eep. I frankly just metaphorically dove out of the way and let her ravish my stores. I gave the now returned and morbidly fascinated Applejack a questioning look as the tiny bones started flying. “I take it she likes fish?” Applejack sighed and trotted off to her wagon. “Please excuse her. Apparently unicorns need more fat an’ protein thanks to the whole magic thingamajig…” “...But it’s… what, considered crude, or something?” I volunteered, not quite being able to take my eyes away from the piscine massacre going on. “Bingo,” Applejack said as she came trotting back with a sack of apples over her back. “You’re an omnivore, right? Your teeth kinda looks like the ones on a minotaur, just minus the muzzle.” That made me make a double take. “Minotaurs as well? Just how many intelligent species are there in this world?” I realized I’d put my foot quite squarely in my mouth when both mares just froze. I raised my hands in an exaggerated gesture of peace. “Magic accident. I swear on my power I didn't come here to cause any trouble.” I actually felt the damn vow slitter through my magic like a snake through mud. That bit hadn't been in any of the books. Since it had just been the truth of what I had done it faded within moments without doing anything, but it gave me a bit of perspective just what kind of forces I’d started playing at learning. Rarity was looking at me with wide eyes, still hunched over her latest momentarily forgotten innocent victim. “...What was that?”  I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. “...That vow is kinda nasty for a wizard. I’m just not used to uttering it.” Applejack was giving us both an oddly irritated lock. “Is this a un- wizard thing?” Rarity was still just staring at me, her meal seemingly forgotten. “You entire aura rippled. Just what would that had done if you’d broken it?” “Taken away a bit of my magic permanently,” I said plainly. Even Applejack paled a bit at that. “Rather a big deal, yes. I try to avoid it, but it seemed appropriate.” The half devoured fish fell from Rarity’s unresisting hooves. Applejack seemed rather uncomfortable, but she hid it by shrugging off the bag on her back. “...So, how are yah finding Equestria so far?” My mind just went blank from pure da fuck. “I beg your pardon?” She just gave me a level look. “Equestria. The country yah’re in?” I opened my mouth… and then I closed it. Staring at the tiny sapient horse. “That… might be the worst pun I’ve ever heard.” The orange mare let out a hot snort. “And just what do yah mean by that?” I held up my hands in surrender again. “I swear this is true, OK?” The two looked a bit uncomfortable at the ‘s’ word, but gave me a nod each. “In my realm, the only equines are literally animals, you with me so far?” “Why do I have the feeling this will be mildly disturbing?” Rarity plucked another of my fish and began gnawing. I looked the two pony shaped creatures as close in their eyes as I dared. Two clearly highly intelligent women, despite their shapes, and who I was almost telling their country’s name was a pun for horse riding in my world. Let it never be said that Björn Jönsson is a completely stupid man. “Hey, how about a distraction. Either of you know if cockatrices are edible?” I’m not sure what disturbed Applejack more. My question, or Rarity’s answer coming without hesitation. “Everything except the eyes.” Then she started drooling again. “...Please? I haven’t had cockatrice since I was a little filly.” I tried to ignore the sounds; a mare lightly dry heaving, and the other sucking up drool was just a bit too weird for my mind to process. Instead, I rose and walked away into the forest. “Back in hopefully a moment.” Applejack squinted into the rapidly darkening forest. “Yah can really see in this?” I paused. This was my first night in this realm. For all I knew, it might be a law built into its very fabric that you can’t see at night unless you have a light. I shrugged. Wizard. We cheat. Of course I could make a light. I raised my right hand and started murmuring. “Ignus, ignus infusiarus.” Slowly, to the two mares clear amazement, I had a fireball. This particular spell wasn’t suited for combat since it was simply to slow, but it did give me a handful of sunshine within my mental control. I made it simply float over my palm, far away that I felt the heat but it wouldn't burn me. Yes, I was showing off. I’d like to see anybody in my position not at least do so a little. I turned and looked over my shoulder with a cheeky smile. “Better, Ladies?” Rarity dropped the fish again. As annoying as it was to see that food wasted, I took it as a good sign and stalked off chuckling. It didn't take me terribly long to find the carcass, even with the rapidly darkening gloom. Luckily, nothing seemed to have touched it. I was soon on my way again, stopping only near the hollow to retrieve my sword. Applejack gave the sword cane a really long, weird look as I approached. “And that is…?” I rattled the thing a bit. “Sword cane. A bit weird and much I know, but it’s the closest thing I've got to a knife at the moment.” I held up the chicken snake hybrid and gave it a shake as well for good measure. “Unless unicorns have a thing for raw meat and that would actually leave some fish for me?” Rarity shoots a sheepish grin my way, but she didn't take her eyes off my kill. Applejack seemed mostly disgusted with the whole idea. It was then I realized something, staring at the mostly snake shaped thing. “I don’t actually have a clue how to clean this.” Wordlessly, Rarity just extended a hoof. I let my ball of sunshine wink out and just held out both things in my hands. The same type of aura that Twi character had caught me but light blue in formed around both the cockatrice and the blade. This strange frown creased Rarity’s eyebrows when she took the blade, but it just floated over to her. She seemed intrigued if confused when she draw the blade, only to reveal runes. “And these do?” “It’s another one of my foci,” I pointed at my staff, still standing its lonely vigil against the night. “Like ‘that bit of driftwood’ over there.” Applejack let out a fake cough. “Foci?” “You saw my little ball of sunshine?” I asked to the responses of nod, even if they seemed to find the name amusing. “That’s a rather simple spell. I can do something like it without a focus, but it’s a bit more draining.” I pointed a thumb over my shoulder towards my staff. “That’s my staff. It’s general purpose but a bi-” A soft glare from the two mares made me cut the swear off with a fake cough. “...Rather bothersome to carve and make.” I nodded to the blade. “That’s one a bit simpler, even if it requires metalworking tools. I don’t get much use for it since earth magic is a bit cumbersome and destructive for my tastes, but better to have and not need, right?” Both mares just burst out laughing. I folded my arms and gave a light glare at them. “Was it something I said…?” Applejack even wiped a tear from her eye. “Earth magic? Destructive? Pull one of the other ones, pardner. It’s got bells on it.” I extended my hand. “If you promise not to panic, I would not mind a demonstration.” Rarity hesitated and looked towards Applejack, but when she only rolled her eyes I got handed the blade without any further hesitation. It seemed Rarity trusted Applejack's expertise in earth magic. Interesting. I grabbed the blade with both hands, leaving its sheath on the ground. “I’ll only cast this once, OK? It’s rather draining, flashy and technically meant for combat, but it’s the best demonstration I can do out here in the sticks. Got it?” Both mares hesitated slightly, before nodding at me. I took that as the best I’d get and turned away from them as I squared my shoulders. I raised the blade and drew power to it, getting momentarily distracted as I realized something. The runes had lit with an inner light, not flames. I had no idea what it meant, but it seemed another point towards the local magic being different. I used the magic to reach down into the earth, feeling it. Just so I wouldn't collapse a cavern or something. To my luck, no such thing. The hollow was the only thing like that for as far as I could sense. Satisfied, I lowered the tip of the blade to a spot near the brook. With a strangely heavy sweeping motion and a shout of “Flammamurus!” I aimed the tip to the other end of the brook. I fell panting to my knees as the spell finished. Damn, the books hadn't lied that earth doesn't like being moved. I smiled, as the first spot I’d pointed at lit from within. Of course, once it has been made to move, it likes to continue doing so. With a rather satisfying swoosh the freshly made magma broke through, propelled fast enough that it was a thin glowing line over the brook. It was a rather pretty sight in the gloom, actually. A few droplets here and there feel sizzling into the brook, but most of it reached the other end and started solidifying into an arc. I gently replaced the blade into its sheath before rising and turning with my arms spread wide. “Ta-da!” My smile and good mode just died as I saw the look on Applejack's face, though. Just utterly shocked. Like I’d drop kicked a baby in front of her. Not really knowing what else to do, I offered the blade handle first to her. “...Perhaps you’d like to show me what the local variant is about?” She just batted it away with a furious scowl. I kinda realized I might have underestimated pony strength when it landed fifteen meters away and got driven down to the hilt. “Is that what yah call earth magic were yah come from!?” She jabbed a hoof towards the still going magma arc. “Stop that darn thing now!” I held my hands up in surrender. “Ma’am, I have stopped. That’s why ea- my style of earth magic is so draining. You need a lot of energy to get it going, but once you have momentum keeps it going for a decent while.” I took a few extra steps away from the scowling mare. “Nothing I can do at the moment short of pouring a lot of water on it.” Applejack glared at the glowing and sizzling arc that was, to the luck of my ribs, already solidifying. She obviously didn't like it, but she gave a stiff nod. “Fine. That’s it? Setting the ground on fire?” I let out an awkward cough. I’d expected for them to spook, not try to glare me to death like this. “Don’t know that much about earth magic, but stuff like gravity and magnetism as well.” “And…?” she almost growled out, clearly expecting an answer. I held my hands up in surrender again. “I did say it isn't my strong suit. I’m more of thaumaturgist and evoker.” I raked the new library inside my head. I didn't think admitting to being decent at necromancy would win me any favors, but… “I’m a decent alchemist as well, if I do say so myself, but that’s about it. Just haven’t had the time to expand my studies.” Applejack snorted and switched her glare in Rarity’s direction. “Rare, throw an apple this way.” Rarity didn't even look up from what once upon a glorious day had been my dinner. She just undid the knot on the bag with her magic and floated over a rather tasty looking specimen of Malus domestica Applejack's way. In fact, the fruit looked so scrumptious that I got reminded just how ravenous I was. I took the opportunity while the rather industrious white carnivore that had ravaged my stores was busy cleaning the cockatrice by the brook to snag at least a fish. I sank down on the ground and held it up towards Applejack. “I hope you don’t mind?” Applejack’s ear flicked once, but she just sighed. “Nah, can’t say ah care for it mahself, but mighty kind of yah to let her get away with that.” She gave a nod towards the drooling carnivorous equine who was just trotting back towards the fire with a huge grin and levitating a pile of rather finely cut meat, my cleaned blade and most of the freaking cockatrice skeleton. Rarity also seemed to have missed she had blood up to her elbows. Applejack let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. “Unicorns. All prim an’ proper… until yah dangle half a’ chicken in front of ‘em.” Applejack fished up a stick from the ground and stuck it into her mane. She waved her hooves around while rolling her eyes around in a clear ‘madmare’ routine. “Mine! Mah blood! Mah flesh!” She pulled the stick out with a snicker and threw it at the fire. “It’s rather funny… as long as yah don’t have to see ‘em actually eat.” Considering Rarity had thrown the bones onto the embers, skewered every darn cut of meat at once using her telekinesis… and was absently licking the blood off her hoof without seemingly noticing I decided that this seemed to be one of those stereotypes that had some truth to it. Applejack clearly tried to ignore looking too hard at ground level, but she seemed to find her friend’s clear enjoyment of this the important bit. “Ah know it might be a bit hard to believe seeing her like this… but she’s usually the image of respectability.” Rarity pulled one of the smaller bones from the fire and sucked the marrow with a look of bliss on her face. Then with a series of crunches that sent shivers down both my and Applejack's spines she eat the bone as well. Applejack made a face before speaking again. “She only gets this bad because she’s got this idea on being a ‘Lady’ all the darn time. Ah honestly don’t know how long it’s been for her.” I couldn't quite take my eyes off the sight. A unicorn mare having a barbecue? It just had this morbidly fascinating ‘train-wreck at Disneyland’ quality to it. I pointed at the apple. “You've done anything to that? I've noticed the local schools of magic seem to shirk using incantations.” Applejack gave a shake. I leaned forward and grabbed the apple, giving it a buff on my duster before biting in. Never been a fruit connoisseur, but it was a really nice apple. “A bit strange with so many things I recognize in this place.” I took another bite to the mare’s barely hidden delight. I jerked a thumb Rarity’s way without looking there. Judging from the sound of snapping bones my sanity would thank me later. “Would you believe me if I told you unicorns and pegasi are mythological creatures in my world? Considering my own unintentional walkabout… well, makes you think, right?” Applejack seemed a bit fascinated by that. Rarity even stopped her feast to shoot a question my way. “So…?” I couldn't quite hold back a laugh. “I don’t think you’d believe me.” I heard another crunch before she spoke again. “Sir Dresden, I’d believe you if you told me your moon is made from cheese after being supplied this feast.” I just couldn't resist. “Well, for starters unicorns are supposed to be able to sense virgins…” Applejack’s jaw fell. I heard Rarity spit something out and splutter. “...and they are such creatures of purity and magic that they near embody both concepts…” I could actually feel the wave of pride from Rarity’s direction. Applejack just snorted. “...and thus that extra purity of being near a virgin makes them, for lack of a better word, drunk.” For a moment, the place was still. Then Rarity let out a loud snort, while Applejack fell laughing to the ground. I smirked as I finished off my apple. I doubt the bits about the horn and similar would garner such a positive reaction, but seeing somebody literally rolling on the ground laughing was always a treat. Even Rarity seemed to find it at least a bit humorous. “Oh, mah sides,” Applejack said as she fought herself upright and for breath. She looked once towards Rarity, and then she started tumbling about again. “What off earth ponies…?” Rarity asked in such a sweet voice it just screamed ‘vengeance shall be mine!’ I wrecked my brain while Applejack stopped and gave me a bemused look. “...Can’t say I know any species that seem to match that come to mind, but there’s quite the smattering of ‘legendary steeds...’” I couldn't quite resist a few theatrics. With a low murmur of “Lumen, camerus, factum!” a mostly see through illusion of a eight legged stallion came thundering out of the shadows, to the two mares clear delight. I’d made the grey stallion massive; his one eyed rider waved his spear once at us before both ‘disappeared’ into the woods again. “Like the steed of the King of the Aesir, Odin. “ Both mares let out a small shriek as the image appeared again, thundering over our head so close they could have reached out and touch the rider and his horse. “The eight legged Sleipner was the King of horses in turn…” This time, I made the image disappear into the sky. “...and not even the sky could hold against the thundering of his hooves.” “So, Ladies…” I gave both ‘spellbound’ mares my biggest smile even as I started weaving the energy for the next one. “Audience participation time. Something grim or beautiful next on this fine evening?” I simply couldn't resist and tipped an imaginary hat towards Rarity who actually cooed at the gesture. I did the same towards Applejack who just snorted, even if it was a happy sounding snort. “I doubt I will outdo your radiance, but I may as well try!” Rarity cleared her throat politely. I must admit, I wasn't quite certain how to feel about the slight blush I saw. “Applejack here is something of a scaredy cat. Perhaps skipping the macabre might be wise?” Applejack snorted hotly at her friend… but her ears were twitching slightly. “Am not!” I drummed my finger on my cheek, thinking it over while keeping the spell half formed. “How about a mild one, just to test the waters? For all I know what is considered scary in my world might be laughable in this.” I snagged a bit of charred cockatrice for emphasis using a quick burst of wind. It honestly tasted really nice, even without seasoning. This tender meat with the consistency of chicken, but mostly the taste of snake. I wiped my hand on the ground before letting the spell take form again. “How about this then? How unicorns look according to the myths of my world?” That made them perk their ears. Perfect. I made the image come from the gloom again. The cloven hooves of a goat, a lion’s tail, the spiraling horn of a narwhal…. all covered in fur so white it shimmered under the freshly risen moon. For a moment, I was tempted to make the illusion walk up to one of them… and fall down, seemingly drunk. The image made me chuckle mentally, but I fought it down. No reason to chance the rather good mood. Instead, I made the image rear near the brook, it’s near glowing fur reflected in the waters. Then the thing let out a echoing neigh, and galloped away. “My, my…” Rarity murmured approvingly. “Aren't you the showmare?” Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, wouldn't mind seeing the look on Trixie’s face at this competition!” “Oh?” I let the showmare thing slide. It seemed to have been a compliment. “Friend of yours?” Both mares hesitated, before Applejack spoke. “Eh, ah honestly don’t know what I’d call her nowadays. She’s the biggest braggart I know off, and she’s done some rather seriously bad mistakes…” The mare halted for a bit, searching for the words while looking at the stars. “...but you can’t help but feel she’s trying, yah know? One of those ponies?” An image of the grinning Seppo flashed through my mind. “You’re fairly certain they’re on the level and mean well, but they've got more power than sense and you can’t help but feel like a swift kick to the groin might be what they need?” Applejack bit back a snort. “Wouldn't go quite that far, but something like that.” The mare circled her temple with a hoof in a surprisingly human gesture for lunacy. “Girl got her hooves on this thing called an’ alicorn amulet and almost took over the town… while ranting about how she don’t trust wheels.” I wasn't certain how to react to that. I decided to try learning more. “Really? Wheels?” So my priorities weren't the best. To my defense, wheels. What the fuck? Rarity shuddered once. “Yes, darling. Not quite only her fault, but it was a rather nasty bit of business.” I tried to ignore a certain bit of bling that suddenly seemed a bit heavier even in my pocket. “So, just what does an alicorn amulet do? I take it they are magic related?” Both mares blinked at that. Applejack narrowed her eyes at me. I held up my hands. “Alicorn’s the material in a unicorn's horn, right? Just sounded like it should be a type of rather grim magic focus. Power at a price stuff, you know?” Both mares blinked at that, then they made near mirrored faces of disgust. Wasn't even a lie. It simply was what had flickered through my mind a few hours earlier on hearing the name. Rarity smoothed out her face and thought about it. “...I suppose that might be it?” A shiver raced through her fur that I doubted had to do with the chill of the night. “Still, I will confess I’m no scholar on the subject. I use my magic for my art, and not much else.” I recognized a switch in subject when I saw it, but I couldn't think of a way to keep the current one without raising suspicion or making them uncomfortable. I opted to get a bit more mutant snake chicken goodness instead. “Art?” Besides, the switch interested me. “I realize it might be hard to believe with my skills, but I actually consider myself a bit of a connoisseur. Even own a bookstore back home.” Rarity’s eyes lit up, but Applejack just made a timeout gesture. “Wait, what?” She pointed at my sword. “And just what does that do then? Deal with shoplifters?” I carefully thought over how to answer that without sounding madder than a hatter with a meth lab in his pantry. I hid it by staring skyward. “...The details are a bit dumb, to be blunt, but I've got a good but weird magic teacher.” I gave a shrug and tore my eyes from the beautiful sky. “He basically gave me a rather thorough crash course by jabbing most of a magical encyclopedia into my mind and then booted me into this realm. I think it’s his idea of a combined joke and master test.” Both the mares' jaws had near dropped to the ground. Wow, just how flexible are these gir- Bad thought! Bad thought! I shrugged and grabbed another bit of meat. “Not exactly completely nice and what I’d preferred, but magic expertise is so freakishly rare in my world I’m basically treating it as the rather hefty price of admission.” I froze for a moment as Applejack actually growled like an angry dog. “That just ain't right. What kind of master does that to his apprentice?” Rarity gave a rather emphatic nod to that, her mouth a thin line. I raised my ring covered hand. Rarity immediately zeroed in on it as it moved, letting out a thoughtful hum at whatever she saw. “To act as demon’s advocate, this is hardly the worst realm he could have dumped me into, and he didn't leave me helpless either, as our dinner can attest.” “Just what do those rings do, darling?” Rarity seemed quite fascinated. “I can tell they are enchanted, but not how.” “They drain away a bit of kinetic energy every time I move and save it away for later.” I removed the stack from my thumb and flicked it over to her. “Be a bit careful. I don’t mind showing them, but they're technically a weapon.” Applejack who'd mostly been groaning about ‘Oh buck, not unicorns talking shop!’ and similar rolled her eyes at that. “Is everything magic a weapon to yah? It’s more than a bit creepy, Mr. Dresden.” I raised an eyebrow towards her as Rarity kept studying the force ring. “Would you carry around your favored object d'art in a forest?” I made a knitting motion in front of me and made my voice drip with sarcasm. “Perhaps an enchanted sweater that switches color with my mood?” Applejack snorted at me and went to get some food, but Rarity nearly dropped my ring into the fire. “...Mind if I nick that idea, darling?” Oh God, I just invented mood rings. Father, forgive me, for I have sinned against good taste... “Just so you know, that bit of sarcasm was based on a rather idiotic trend in my world several decades ago. It came and went like a flash. Just a tip.” Rarity scratched her chin, thinking it over as my ring floated back to me. I just jabbed it on again. “Interesting. Perhaps just one or two pieces, just to see hove ponies react to it then?” “Oh? You're in the fashion industry?” I tried to figure out how to put it politely. “Didn't exactly see that town I landed in under the best of circumstances, but clothes seemed a bit on the rare side.” Rarity let out a just wonderful laugh. “Clothes are something of a Rarity, in these parts, yes.” She actually winked at me. Uncertainty on how to feel about this levels rising fast, Captain! “They’re luxury products. Is this different in your world?” Applejack came back, carrying the bag of apples. “No offence, but what town?” I fought down a groan. “I landed smack dab in the town square of a town…” I pointed the direction I’d come from. “...about a day that away. I got jumped by a few idiots ‘defending the town’ and caused quite the scene, but I got away without major problem. Had to sadly bruise more than the egos on a few, but nothing that shouldn't heal from what I saw.” Both mares looked both really conflicted, worried and… ashamed, at that. I couldn't stop the sigh. “Let me guess. Hometown?” Applejack fidgeted and wouldn't quite look me in the face. “...Sorry, Mr. It’s the Everfree. The town’s gotten better, but that darn place just got this tendency to throw horrors our way every now and then.” I groaned with my head in my hands. There went the idea of tagging along with the only two sane people I've met so far. “Fine, fine…” I raised my head and rolled my shoulders. “Still, only a few idiots that didn't listen to me wanting to talk got a few kicks on the ass.” I shivered despite the fire. “Could have gone a lot worse.” Both mares bristled. Rarity raised her head high and spoke in a voice with nails in it. “Mr. Dresden, there is no need for such derogatory words.” I just blinked at her. Then it clicked. “Even the donkeys in this place are self-aware?!” That made them blink in turn. I let out a cough into my hand. “Forgive me, Ladies. I only meant it as another word for posterior. I was unaware that word had… that type of connections in this world.” Both mares seemed more than a bit weirded out at my outburst. “Let’s say that I’m a bit shocked by the biodiversity of sapients on this world.” I pointed a thumb at myself. “My world’s a more than just a bit lonelier in that regard.” Ever seen two sapient ponies' minds being blown? If so, I’d argue for a doctor’s visit for most of you. If your life somehow has turned as weird as mine, however? Rather cute. Would go ‘daw!’ again.  “Surely you must be joking?” Applejack took off her hat and wiped her brow. I swear I saw something inside, but it was on her head again too quickly for me to be certain. “One intelligent species? How does such a world work?” “Rather poorly, truth be told,” I said, in a rather somber tone. I snagged another apple before giving a shrug. “Still, we try. That’s supposedly the important bit.” They both looked a bit uncomfortable at that. Rarity hid it by jumping the buffet again. Applejack however decided to switch subject. “...So, ah noticed you shout things for yah magic, but only sometimes. What’s up with that?” I took a big bite out of the apple while I thought it over how to answer her. “...Something halfway between mental shorthand and mental magic insulation. It basically lets me do the complicated stuff easier and safer. Tricky bit is learning to associate certain words with certain spells like that. That’s why they’re in Latin, a dead tongue I don’t know. You don’t want to start a fire just because you thought the word, after all. It isn't particularly healthy for your sanity either.” A small sound made me look towards Rarity. She was doing the ‘jaw to the navel’ thing again with her eyes wide. I pretended not to notice the half chewed bone that was quietly rolling away into the dark. “That’s… utterly ingenious! Who came up with it?” I shrugged. “Not much to say I’m afraid. The concept’s prehistoric in my world. You guys really don’t have any equivalent to incantations?” Applejack gently reached out and closed Rarity’s mouth. “Yah’ll let in flies, dear.” I took the opportunity to satisfy my own curiosity. I pointed at the Stetson. “So, I think I caught a whiff of magic from that. What does it do?” As answer, Applejack took her hat off, reached in… and pulled out a whole freaking lasso. I let out a low whistle. “My, that’s quite the enchantment. Must have cost a mint. What’s the capacity?” Applejack replaced the lasso and smiled as she put the hat back on. “What? This ol’ thing? I actually won it at a fair.” Now it was my turn to have my jaw at my navel. “Wha…? Seriously? Somepony made space itself their bi- personally chew toy, stuck it in a hat… and all at a price where you could buy it at a fair?” Applejack thought it over, before giving a nod. “...Pretty much.” I came to a decision. It was a bit spur of the moment, but it felt like a good one. “Say… you wouldn't care for a trade, by any chance?” I used a quick burst of wind and grabbed the cane sword as it came flying through the air. I wiggled it at the wide eyed mares. “Something we both consider normal for something we both find exotic is a fair one, right? Applejack hesitated, rubbing at her chin but staring at the sword. “...Ah don’t rightly know. Ah’ll admit, you're rather impressive in the magic department but something about that…” She nodded once towards the obsidian arc, now almost lost in the gloom. “...just made mah skin crawl.” I tapped the tip of the handle against my chin. “...You mentioned a friend that dabbles in the theoretical side of magic, right?” I pointed the cane towards their wagon. “You've got pen and paper in that thing? How about I throw in how to make one of these?” I tapped the cane sword for emphasis. “Should make it a fair bit safer to figure out how this type of focus reacts with you locals and if you play your cards right it might be quite the lucrative thing long term.” Applejack had a decent poker face for negotiations… but I saw this gleam in her eye. “And you’d get… what out of that, exactly?” “Well, a nice hat for once,” I deadpanned to a small smile from Applejack, “that and my ‘master’ as you two put it seemed to be a good guy to me. Just rather odd. For all I know I might get whisked back at midnight or whatever.” I tapped the side of my head. “Now, if that enchantment’s that common around here I might just find it at the nearest library… but I’d rather have a physical copy. Just in case.” Rarity elbowed Applejack in the side and whispered something in her ear. I hummed and tapped the handle against my chin again. “Those apples yours? Grown by you, I mean?” Applejack nearly beamed with pride. “Yup.” “Oh, so that’s why you got upset? Earth magic is considered primarily agromancy in these lands or something?” Applejack blinked. “I beg yahr pardon? Agro what?” Rarity answered for me. “A rather archaic way of saying plant magic.” “More the magic of farming and growth in this context,” I clarified, “but close enough.” Applejack just snorted at me, hard enough her hat moved slightly. “Well, why not just say that then?” “PR,” I couldn't quite stop a sigh. “Magic is rather rare in my world, remember? What do you think people will travel from the furthest away for?” I rose to my full height and wove a quick and dirty illusion of a black cloak for myself, pointing my cane towards the heavens. “The mystical, enigmatic Sir Gorkian the Wise! Lord and master of a thousand magics! Denier of fate itself and grand-master of a hundred and eight mysteries!” I changed the illusion to a rather less flattering Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts and sandals. My normal stuff showed clean through just for the extra bit of half-assedness. “Or Billy Bob, that dude, you know? That knows a thing or two. I've heard he’s rather decently OK… ish.” Both mares fought down snorts as I brushed off the illusion. I sat down again with a smile. “That, and everything sound cooler when you slap mancy on the end.” I paused. “Except possibly brontomancy. Kinda losses a bit, that one.” Applejack shot a glance in Rarity’s direction. “Lightning magic,” she in turn plainly explained. Applejack gave a shrug before grabbing an apple. “Sounds a bit silly to mah ears. If both means the same, why go with the one less ponies will understand?” “Actually, I know the answer to that one,” I answered, biting into a new apple of my own, “but it’s a bit depressing.” Despite herself, Applejack perked her ears. “And that be, sugar?” “Power, even if it’s a bit less grim than most such examples,” I drew a boat from overhead on the ground and an arrow pointing at each side. “Take sailors, for example. You call it left and right, they’ll laugh at you, but if you actually talk the talk enough for port and starboard you’ll get a craftsman’s nod of approval. It’s a small way to make yourself seem less dispensable. Your skills seem just a bit more unique.” It seemed I’d struck another nerve culturally, because both mares fidgeted and looked quite uncomfortable. “Of course,” I added, “this is just on the theoretical level. Most just do it because everybody else is doing it. Tradition and all that.” I decided to switch the subject back on track and wiggled the cane at them again. “But I believe we were talking about a trade.” Applejack fidgeted, almost staring with her eyes wandering back and forth between her hat and my blade. “...Ah just don’t know. This hat and ah’ve been on a few adventures together.” I shrugged. “Your call.” I tapped the blade again. “To me, this is a sword and half a day or so with the right tools and reagents. I've gotten a feeling it is a bit rarer a chance from your perspective… just like your hat is to me.” I took a shot. It was hardly a common negotiation tactic, but Applejack seemed to care quite deeply for honesty. “To be frank, a pocket like that? That’s the stuff of fiction where I’m from. If you're being modest because you think I’m getting a bum deal… frankly, from my point of view it really isn't.” Rarity leaned in and whispered something. Applejack just barked out a laugh. “Rares, if ah let yah make mah next hat it’ll be frillier then than that line o’ saddles yah think we've forgotten!” Applejack and I chuckled at that, even if I mostly did it from the adorable blush Rarity got. Applejack lifted down her hat, looked at it… and then with a sigh she threw me the thing. I actually caught it without cheating. “Fine, yah’ve got yahrself a deal, pardner…” She nodded towards m- her blade. “...but if that turns out to be a fake ah’m hounding yah down and bucking yah in the fruit and veg.” I couldn't quite stop a laugh and a fidget at that. A horse that aims did sound a bit nasty. I reached over with the blade, only to withdraw it slightly just as her hoof was about to grab it. She gave me an irritated look, but let me say my piece. “Do remember, I swear on my power that I’m doing this deal in good faith, but this is technically an artifact from another realm.” I stopped to let the shiver from the vow coming and going pass. “I’d hate to hear somebody as nice as you’ve grown tentacles and started rampaging across the countryside, or whatever. Make sure that friend of yours checks this out thoroughly before using it.” I throw the blade into her lap while she was making a disgusted face; she caught it with a clatter even if it was close. “Oh, and if I hear anything about ‘Applejack the dread dirt mage’ I’m kicking your butt on principal, got it?” Applejack reared herself to her full height, about to my chest, with the sword pointed to the heavens. “Muhahaha! Hear mah evil laugh of evil evil! For tonight… ah til mah soil!” She snored and sat down again as Rarity and I tried not to die from laughter. “Seriously though, I’d look dreadful in a black cloak an’ top-hat!” “Glad you're already enjoying it!” I donned my new headgear with a smile. It smelled a bit horsey, but not badly so. It seemed Applejack took a bit of pride in her mane, because I could just barely smell an apple scented shampoo. “So, how about that paper?” I spent the next hour or so drawing and writing, making as thorough a How To as I could. Rarity spent the time gnawing herself through most of what was left of the cockatrice, while Applejack examined her new purchase by the fire. That’s when a smoke could filled with green flames came darting towards us. I do try to fight smarter, not harder, so I snapped my right hand up and formed a small shield around the thing. Both Rarity and Applejack flinched slightly. “Jezz…” Applejack said, staring at my hand,” aren't yah a swift one?” I jerked my head towards what little was left of the cockatrice, but I didn't take my eyes of the smoke who was currently pecking against the shield like a fly caught in a glass. “I try. What is that thing?” “Just a message,” Rarity was about to say something more, but the she blinked. “Oh, right. No dragons, then?” I just turned and stared at her. “That’s what passes for a dragon in this world?” I turned and gave the flame filled smoke creature another look. It did seem to move with purpose and I could even feel the magic in it. It seemed a harmless if rather pretty thing. “Seems to fit the legends I've heard of djinn more. Are they a type of spirit, or something?” Applejack sucked in a breath. One of those ‘Oh God, that tourist just actually asked me if all Swedes live in igloos’ kind of fought down laughs, if I was any judge. “Nah, it’s dragon magic. It’s rather rare, but some of ‘em can send messages like that.” I gave the smoky flame another look. Magical instant messaging. Who’d have thunk it? Sufficiently advanced magic, I guess. “So, I should just let it go?” “Please,” Rarity said without taking her eyes of it, “that was some quick thinking, but it’s completely harmless. I swear.” I didn't quite feel certain about it, but I decided to heed the locals. The thing darted straight for Rarity, but the whole smoky mass just kinda collapsed into a scroll about half a meter in front of her. It even hovered in the air before she grabbed it with her magic. I leaned over to Applejack while Rarity read. “So, do you have to be a dragon for that spell? That was kinda nifty.” The mare just shrugged at my words. “Don’t rightly know, sugar. Never thought about asking.” I gave a grunt. Not the answer I’d been hoping for, but I understood. Besides, judging from how Rarity gasped there was more important things at hand. “We need to get to Ponyville!” I sat up straight. “What happened? You two need any help?” Applejack snatched the scroll from Rarity so fast it ripped slightly. “...No,” she mumbled after reading it, she turned to Rarity and spoke normally. “What kind of monster could have put Twilight in the hospital?!” Something cold slithered down my spine. Ugh, a monster mauling? Nasty business. I hope I didn't have anything to do with that. Having guards been distracted to the point citizens had gotten hurt or something would just make this day a bit worse. “You two want an escort? I doubt I’d be that welcome, but I’d hate to see either of you run into something in this gloom.” Applejack was already fixing her wagon for travel. Considering how tired I’d been getting even with the talking as a rather pleasant distraction I could imagine how weary the two mares might be. Rarity hesitated. “...What was your original plan?” “Overheard that Canterlot’s the capital and that it’s that town on that mountain,” I gave a nod in that direction, “thought I’d go see if it’s a bit more cosmopolitan. No offence.” “Not that bad an idea, sugar,” Applejack said as she put the finishing touches on her wagon and struggled into it. “Might be wise to keep to it. Celestia an’ Luna can’t be everywhere and the town’s a bit snobby, but they run it rather tight. You behave as well as yah’ve with us an’ yah should have no problems in ‘at town.” “Wait,” I said, rummaging in my pockets for the ball of string, “let me at least make you a light. I kinda noticed you two don’t seem to have that great night vision.” Both mares grumbled a little, but didn't make any outright protests. I found a decently round pebble and almost tied it into a cradle. This was technically me improvising, but it was simple enough that it should work. I just grabbed a bunch of magic and focused it on the small rock. With a murmur of “Fiat lux.” just as I actually tightened the knot the rock started glowing with a, if I do say so myself, brilliant light. I bit off about half a meter of string and throw it to Rarity. “Not sure how long it will last, but better than nothing. No promises, but just jabbing more energy into it should work for a while.” Rarity nodded thankfully and tied the small improvised light around her own neck. I tried not to think off a bell on a cat, but I kinda failed. I hesitated, but… “Rarity, I take it your friend’s a unicorn?” Rarity let out a small laugh echoed by Applejack. “My, you really are new. Used to be.” I raised an eyebrow at that in curiosity, but now was not the time. I nodded towards the fire. “You can take what’s left of the meat if you want. Give it to the brave girl with my compliments. Anybody willing to give better then they got and bleed for their town is alright in my book.” Rarity shot me a thankful smile, before darting over to the wagon to grab something to put the meat in. I stalked over to try and finish my chicken scribbles before they needed to leave. Luckily, I’d been almost done. I even had time to skim the notes for anything majorly wrong before walking over to Applejack. The mare was stomping to get going, but I handed her the small notebook. “Here. A bit rushed, but everything major’s there. With the sword for comparison your friend shouldn't have any trouble once she’s well again.” I let out a small yelp as she just grabbed me by the duster and pulled me down to her level. Dear Lord, was that really only one horse power? Then my mind went a bit blank when I received a soft peck on the cheek. It was rather like being kissed by somebody with a beard, but with this feminine softness to it. She chuckled on seeing me blush and dunked me in the back hard enough I lost my breath and nearly fell over. “Yah take care of yahrself, Harry. Yah might be a weird biped from another dimension but yarh my type of weird biped from another dimension with hospitality like that. If Canterlot doesn't quite work out for yah and that so called ‘master’ of yahrs turns out to be as full of horse apples as he sounds like to mah, then yah come looking for Sweet Apple Acres.” She gave me another dunk, making me rather glad for the reinforcements on my duster. Damn, I’d hate to face an earth pony in hand to hoof. If this was a friendly pat on the back I doubted it be something I’d care for. “Still don’t know about that earth magic of yahrs, but somepony with a strong back that doesn't mind getting their hooves dirty and who considers cockatrices ‘pest’ is somepony I an’ the rest o’ the clan have work for.” I got up and cracked my back, and then I tipped my new hat at her with a chuckle. “Thank you kindly, Ma’am. Might just do that if this stay turns out to be a bit more long term then I’m currently planning.” Applejack jabbed a hoof into my stomach, hard enough that I felt it. “And don’t yah dare just disappear into the ether!” She punctuated the next sentence with another jab. “Yah come say goodbye if yah can. I’m sure Twilight would love to chat yahr ears off, as well.” Had to admit, if the girl could make sense of a magical artifact from another world? That sounded like a mare worth meeting. “I’ll try. A pleasure both to have met and done business with you, Miss Applejack.” I took my hat off and reached in. It was the oddest sensation. My eyes told me I shouldn't be able to, but it was just like reaching into a trunk or something. My hand came up holding the lasso just fine, however. “You almost forgot this, however.” Applejack swore something softly under her breath before gently taking the thing from me. She throw the lasso over to the wagon rather urgently, but I got a big smile for it. “Mighty kind. Can’t believe I almost forgot that.” I got up and put the hat back on. It was a silly little way to reinforce my own identity… but the ‘real’ Harry never wears hats despite one always being on the cover. Just a misunderstanding that grew into a running joke. Still, the weight on my head made me feel better. Made me feel just a bit more like me. Rarity had busied herself with a quick jump into the brook to look a bit more presentable and was just tucking away a small paper package containing the meat. She didn't look up, but I still saw her smiling when she addressed me. “I’m sure Twilight will appreciate it, darling.” A shudder swept the mare, shaking quite a bit of water out of her fur. “I don’t want to know what might have mangled her, but it sounded as if she’s stable, at least. Small favors.” I looked around. It was rather dark, but at least the drizzle had stopped. “You two hurry slowly, OK? A broken leg from going too fast won’t make your friend feel any better.” Rarity let out a sigh. “And I was just about to ask what exactly you've done to that duster to make it near glow with magic like that….” “Magic,” I deadpanned to a groan from both mares. I couldn't quite stop a smile, even if I had wanted to. I raised my hand instead and waved them off. “Well, it would be a rather poor sign of thing if we exhausted all conversation on our first meeting, would it not? You two Ladies take care. It was a true pleasure.” I got a pair of smiles for that. Both Rarity and Applejack waved once, then they just galloped off into the gloom to go help their friend. I watched the white dot race away until the trees and hills obscured it. I got up and cracked my back. Man, was it nice to have met some friendly locals. I never would have even suspected they came from that very same crazy town if it hadn't come up. A pity I might end up meeting the PPP and that Twi twit if I ever tried taking them up on their offers, but it felt nice knowing that town wasn't a complete insane asylum. Their friend Twilight sounded quite intriguing as well. Both Rarity and Applejack had just seemed certain she’d be able to figure that focus out. Good for her, but I hoped it wasn't misplaced. I let out a huge yawn. Now was clearly time for bed, however. That conversation had been just fascinating, almost as much as seeing Rarity eat… but man, was it late. I pulled a few more logs on the fire and chucked my staff into the hollow before doing my best at bedding myself down. I hadn't found anything to bed with and I didn't dare use my duster, but the sand was decently soft enough. I pulled the hat down over my face, trying to ignore the slightly horsey smell. It wasn't bad, per se, but it was rather persistent. I’m fairly certain I was out like a light more or less as soon as I folded my hands on my chest. I did it with a smile, though. What can I say? Always nice to meet new friends. Hopefully it won't take that long before I get to meet them again.