• Member Since 18th Jul, 2013
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Lord Of Dorkness

Deep into that dorkness peering...


One strange day, Harry Dresden turned into a tiny pastel horse with two girly tattoos on the rump.

She was not pleased about this.

And as strange and horrifying as this was, even by Chicago's only professional wizard’s standards there was a new job to do, and some new bunch of bastards to thump until they stopped their dastardly pony plans!

Except… there seemingly wasn’t a culprit to be found. No dark gods with a thing for horses had risen. No doomsday cults with a thing for pastel had declared their vile, equine intentions. Not as much as an ifrit with a lisp...

It seemed as if whatever had turned so many humans into ponies would simply be a strange and unsolved mystery.

Reluctantly, life simply had to go on, even if it was with double the number of legs as normal.

Now, months later however, this country with the rather silly name of Equestria wonders what became of one of their lost champions, and just why she never returned to them...

Five Score universe by TwistedSpectrum.
Dresden Files and all characters belong to Jim Butcher.
MLP:FIM is Hasbro's, but you should know that by now.

Written as a small Christmas 2014 gift to my followers. :twilightsmile:

Character tags to be added once done, to maintain surprise.

Story contains spoilers for the Dresden Files series, up to Skin Games! Also, spoilers in the comments!

Cover given by the amazing Tulip.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 1112 )

Soulgaze matches as well. Also considering Fluttershy befriended Discord (Somehow) I can see that as corresponding to.. Well, a lot of the stuff Dresden has had going on. Like Demonreach.

Still not sure if I am hoping this continues. I am far more interested in Horse feathers at this time.

And Dresden becoming a Unicorn is simply. Personallity and skill set tends to determine Pony-type. Wizards almost universally become unicorns. (Only exception I have any knowledge of is Memory Pending, which later turns out to be a really messed up case with extenuating circumstances)

I made the comparison to Warcraft 3 a while back, where they have 3 primary stats, being Strength, Agility, and Intelligence, with the Heros having a primary Attribute. Mages and other spellcaster focuses had Intelligence, Assassins or Archer types had Agility, and warriors and other front-line tanks had Strength. I can't recall the spark, but I linked Strength basis to Earth ponies, Agility to Pegasi, and Intelligence to Unicorns. And Divines to Alicorns, naturally. Still not a perfect map, but a common enough mapping. After all, few fictions have Pegasi or Earth ponies able to cast magic like Unicorns can. (Not including scifi MLP where they all have cybernetic enhancements adding horns and wings, or similar)

I approve of this type of difference. It is rare, which gives it novelty, and effectively increases the quality by simply being a rare gem. Human in Equestria's, or other discredited story types (which this also technically qualifies as, but is superseded by the first classification) have to be very well written for them to be considered more than garbage, due to how common they are.

Also, This is a Merged Mythos story, or whatever you want to call it. Where you have two stories, whether canon or not, material meeting, or have characters and places in one replaced by some or all of the other. Fallout Equestria by Kkat comes to mind. As does XSGCOM by Hotpoint (which technically is a bad story, but very unique, so is a good story in my eyes) Also The Sweetie Belle Chronicles. All of them take aspects from two (or many for Sweetie Belle) stories and smashes them together, at least to make them compatible. Sometimes having background facts from each setup in a way to stitch the two worlds together better. Its rare, and hard to do well from what I've seen, but awesome when it works.

I love this chapter. At first it was sad to see Harry destroy Twilight's innocence of the world and reminding her that he's not Fluttershy...then I started to laugh when he ended up making Twilight go bunkers when he reveals some of his personal experiences with Demonreach and his usage of magic. I hope to see more of this and Horse Feathers because you are one of the best Dresden writers I've seen on the site.

I'm confused. On the one hand it's another unfinished story. On the other - another awesome one.
Curse these potoos, they turn my brain into mush.

Yes, and surly we


I let go of her hoof as I rolled my eyes at her. “Yes, and surly we haven’t had any problems at all already be cue magic in this place is different than what you’re used to…” I poked the ruined wastebasket for emphasis. “Right, Mrs. Twilight?”

be cue should be because.
Probably others I missed.

YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've dream't of the day when someone would make crossover story for this and I've only been aware of the Five Score-verse for a less than a week! I love all the Dresden Files crossovers on this site but I always imagined either reading or writing a crossover like this story but since I never could write well, I gave up the hope of ever getting the chance to read a story like this! BUT YOU HAVE DELIVERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS YOU AWESOME WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep up the good work! Also when will Horsefeathers and Overpowered Red and Black Alicorn OC update?

5387761 Don't forget Pyschicscubadiver, Applechip and Chengar Quordath when you mention the best (and only... strangely enough) Dresden Files/MLP crossovers.

1) Hey, this person have more magic
2) why quite a few fellow afflicted
3) Yes, and surly we haven’t had
4) sat down next to her; trying to pretend
her, trying
5) throat made me twitch; as a flying pegasus
twitch as
6) I continued smoothly outwardly. “Just see
(outwardly doesn't seem very necessary)
7) simply wasn't’ used to that
8) by a lifetime of bathing, into something that
of bathing, it had turned into
9) a few busty cultist, and



>fireball in a ghouls face.
>A blushing twilight
>proverbial needle even though
>have your freewill
free will. Freewill is adjective.
>psychos combined enforcer
>crushingly hunting look
>Twilight,” I verily told
Forsooth! Wearily.
>Twilight had locked more and more uncertain
>I threw myself of

Morty as Sonata?!?!?!?!.......HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy:
Keep up the good work!!!! Also when can we see how all the other ponies of the Main 6 and Equestria react to a violent, genre-savvy and well.....mature magus Fluttershy/Dresden? I just wanna see how Dresden/Fluttershy has to fight hordes of Royal Guards, the Main Six, the other Princesses and whatever hellish nasties/organizations of his world who want to take advantage of the Chaos. Also please have Fluttershy cast a Soul-Fire laced Lightning spell or Fire spell at someone like Discord or somebody/pony/thing please like how you did in Horse Feathers!!! Also did Molly, Thomas,Murphy, Marcone, Michael, Butters, and Ivy change form too?

I really enjoyed watching Dresden, as Fluttershy, talk to Luna about how to deal with Discord, the difference in morality between Equestria and Earth, and, once again, make her uneasy with his willingness to kill enemies. Still, it was sad and literally painful to see her getting devastated with Dresden refusing to help her, showing disgust towards her behavior, preferring to ally with somebody that resembles an enemy if her nation over, rejecting the morals that are derived from the Elements of Harmony, and then receiving a vicious attack from somebody that resembles one of her friends. I hope the next chapter comes soon because I want to see the repercussions of Dresden's actions and see how the other two Princesses would interact with Dresden.

I seriously want to see how the other Princesses and the rest of the Main Six and whatever guards they bring, crowd Dresden into a corner so that he can cut loose with his power and show how power, smarts, ruthlessness, being genre-savvy and some darkish-grey morality can beat whatever they end up throwing at him!

Guess Rainbow Dash is the one in who did the Mach 6 stunt in New York? Ouch on recovering from that, though I guess the Princesses can just steal her away.

Felt you nailed Dresden perfectly here in regards to how he just doesn't respect those more powerful than him, even though it'd cause a lot of problems later. It's Dresden, it's what he does. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop on one of the alicorns being foolish enough to try and compel Dresden when he is on Demonreach. They are in for a shock.

I can't see how you plan this to be a short story... there is simply too much to show.

Can you do Cadence next as the Princess to meet Dresden? It would be funny to see her toss her cookies after hearing Dresden's abyssal love life such as Elaine, Susan, Luccio, Lash, and Murphy.

You forgot to make this public I think.

Interesting still. Still would prefer Horse Feathers or Sufficiently Advanced.


You forgot to make this public I think.

Actually, since this is a Five Score crossover, there's an auxiliary rule; I need to hit 30 K words or 'Done' status, or the story gets auto-rejected.

I think it's a bit outdated by now, but for a while the mods were drowning in really bad 5S/4 fics, so I get the why.

So I haven't forgotten, it would just be futile right now.

Interesting still. Still would prefer Horse Feathers or Sufficiently Advanced.

I actually got updates for both SA and HF at about 99% done. I'm hoping I might get a burst of inspiration, and that enough pre-readers slash editors have time for a rather large Christmas update... but we'll see if it works out like that. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by AppleTank deleted Dec 18th, 2014

....frack, shouldn't have deleted that.
What the old comment was was saying that this is a preview.

Ah. So this is what you have been spending your time on. No worries, any content from you makes me a happy fanboy. Haven't gotten to look at the Horse Feathers stuff you said you were working on, but, eh, I got finals to study for anyways.

Waiting on 5score too. I like Morgan. Might make fanart several months down the line.

1) leaving the bear behind
2) by the bar; to Mac’s barely hid annoyance.
3) to pic one of two groups to nail
4) but I meet a pretty girl that
5)Fine, fine, show it up your
6)I’ve bleed and fought for this
7) apparently to squeamish to kill a single
8) feel anything but disharmony…?”
9) , fighting Wolverine’s bigger, nastier cuisine


>I didn’t even unfurl
>trail wasn’t quite over yet
>magic less
magicless, unless it's a direct quote from 5S/4
>shatter dreams
>leaving the bear behind in the corner
Fluttershy, don't leave poor Harry in the corner!
Already pointed, but can't resist.
i.e. because id est.
>but Blackie didn’t even lower her horn install the sound died off.
Eh? Until the sound died off?
>holier than you
>victim less
>Let us say they I like throwing fire
>Sorry, Morty,” I said my mouth on autopilot
said my mouth
>my hometown were some type of lice-ridden scum-pound
>and intruded herself
>apparently to squeamish
>Fine, than illuminate me
>how a car sipped us by
>Power-word: Give Dresden a Headache
Power Word, Give Dresden a Headache probably closer to source.:derpytongue2:


Fixed, thanks!

8) feel anything but disharmony…?”

A bit got eaten by the import, and I missed it. More info here so you don't have to hunt for it.


>I didn’t even unfurl

Fairly certain it should be 'unfurl' since she's describing what she is currently doing.

>magic less
magicless, unless it's a direct quote from 5S/4

Nah, it was me not being certain if it was two words or one, and the coin apparently landed on the wrong end this time.

i.e. because id est.

Oh my, I've been using that wrong for quite a while in that case. Thanks for explaining it!

i.e. because id est.
>but Blackie didn’t even lower her horn install the sound died off.

Not sure what happened there, but it should have been: '‘Blue’ left with a huff, but Blackie didn’t even lower her horn until the sound of hooves died off.'

>Sorry, Morty,” I said my mouth on autopilot
said my mouth

Yeah, that sounds better. Changed.

>how a car sipped us by


>Power-word: Give Dresden a Headache
Power Word, Give Dresden a Headache probably closer to source.:derpytongue2:

I have to admit, I needed to look that up.

Truly, I have failed my title. :ajsleepy:

Still, thanks!

All story is in past tense. so it should be "unfurled". Probably. I suck at English grammar.

So... in reading this, I have come to a conclusion. I can read about a human/ex-human arguing with a pony about magic probably a thousand times over and still enjoy it.

5398319 What? 99% progress? Why haven't you submitted it to me the prereaders yet? XD

5401060 Exactly the thoughts my brain was having. I think we found our next psychicscubadiver.


Exactly the thoughts my brain was having. I think we found our next psychicscubadiver.


Oh god, and I thought the bit I'd stolen from been heavily inspired by him in the next chapter was going to be awkward enough as is...

Still, thanks for the compliment, it was just... strangely timed.

Not complaint.
Just read all his stuff, or at least try it. You (probably) won't regret it.
Take this recommendation with a grain of salt, because I have become a fanboy.


Not complaint.

Oops. Thanks for pointing that out.

I think I started developing all symptoms of drug withdrawal. Lord of Dorkness, quick, administer new dose!



Didn't quite pan out.

Should update soon, though.

Wow, the interaction between anemia and Dresden is pure gold and I got to say that the Elements are amazing if they can have enough power to escape Demonreach. Also, the fight scene between Dresden and the guards was great. I hope to see more of this story.

Might as well great and/or stomp whoever’s here,

Great should be Greet

Also, Holy Shit. I do think this clearly states exactly what tier of entity the Elements of Harmony Gems are. While they can counter gods, that doesnt put them above god level. This however, escaping from Demonreach containment (and that was maxium security, no?) does happen to be extremely worrying. As shards of the Tree of Harmony, It is terrifyingly powerful. And it seems to be aligned towards Equestrian Harmony standards (which most likely are instead created by it)
While I don't really like the extreme blindness shown by the Equestrians, That kind of thing is depressingly common in most fiction, and many fanfictions.

Also, I wonder if Discord qualifies as an Outsider. (Unaligned, probably, with the known outsiders)

hey i cant get this story to show up on my fav list anyone else have that problem


hey i cant get this story to show up on my fav list anyone else have that problem

It isn't properly published yet thanks to the Five Score 30 K thing, and the site is a bit weird about unpublished fics.

Things like favorites and up-votes doesn't quite count sometimes, but I don't quite know why.

Still, those problems should hopefully go away in a few hours, if you know what I mean. :twilightsmile:


Great should be Greet

Thanks, fixed.

While I don't really like the extreme blindness shown by the Equestrians, That kind of thing is depressingly common in most fiction, and many fanfictions.

Your mileage may vary, but I personally think it makes sense in this context.

The Equestrian's are convinced that the rebirth was metaphorical, and if Dresden and gang would just stop struggling, they could heal the lingering effects of the curse within the literal hour. That the curse worked kinda like that mind warp Discord did season two, but with added 'props' so that they would believe the fake lives the cursed had been forced into.

It's not malice; they are simply certain their friends are delusional and need the magical version of psychiatric treatment.

Dresden and the other 'humans,' however... Well, think the Equestrians' are lying bastards out for a new batch of brainwashed enforcers, to be blunt.

Neither side have the full picture, and how Luna tried to brute force things by simply picking up Dresden and carting her back to Equestria for treatment was basically exactly the wrong move at the exactly wrong time. If that hadn't happened, Dresden (and CO) would quite probably warmed up to them quite fast.

I know quite a bit of that needs to be read between the lines thanks to the first-person perspective, but I hope that explanation makes things a bit more palatable for you.

Power level of the Elements of Harmony.

5455260 5455618

Thanks. I was a bit worried what happened in this chapter would be a bit much, but I'm glad people seem to like it.

Do remember though: In the Dresden verse, purifying a warlock once they are lost to the corruption of dark magic is considered flat out impossible...

The Elements did that to a goddess of the night lost to hate and madness for a thousand years.

In the 'hands' of six mortals nonetheless, which off only two have what most would consider outright training in magic.

So... yeah. The Elements are kinda badass by Dresden Files standards even for being major artifacts, and really should be treated as such. Heck, I'm honestly not certain if even the Swords of the Cross are quite in that weight-class as far as purifying artifacts go, and that's saying something.

Wow....I feel honored to have been able to influence this chapter.:twilightsmile: Thank you lord of Dorkness for this honor! Now I really want to see a showdown between a Demonreach empowered Dresden/Fluttershy vs a pissed off and enraged Celestia!:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:
:pinkiegasp: IDEA!!!!! Why don't you do a YHaY Dresden Files/MLP crossover?!?! That genre on Fimfiction would fit Harry to a T. (Not in the sense of making him a slave but more in the sense that he's a strong, very tall Human would wears lots of clothes, knows and uses magic that the other ponies either can't use due to species/social taboos or don't know about, and he is good at running and fighting as well! Make it more along the lines of Horsefeathers except Harry (the real one) can't just walk into a city as easily as Bjorn can!)


Credit where credit is due, right? :twilightsmile:

YHaY Dresden Files/MLP crossover

That's actually a kinda cool idea...

Only problem is that slavery is one of my few rage buttons, and as a result I haven't read a single YHaY story; not even the original that I've heard is actually pretty good. :twilightblush:

It's simply one of those acts I find so morally repugnant that it automatically pushes near every character performing it into moral event-horizon territory for me.

And I just... can't form that connection in my head between this:


And freaking THIS:


To me, mixing ponies and slavery is just... It's like willfully pouring cyanide into your own peanut-butter to me. Just why would you ever do that?!

And yeah, I remember the diamond dogs and Sombra from the show proper, but to me those are some of the darkest moments of the show for a reason. Heck, if I had to pick a least favorite episode it would probably be 'A Dog And Pony Show' just because how naively it treated as heavy a topic as freaking slavery.

Still, it's an neat idea I think you should take to any of the applicable groups. In the hands of a good writer the culture clash between somebody as strong-willed as Dresden, and a Equestria that sees nothing wrong with keeping humans as pet could be quite interesting.

Sadly, I'm just... not a good fit given that hangup of mine. Sorry.

Each one of your chapters is getting longer and longer. While I love that, it still makes it take awhile between chapters. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that... I'm going to say it's a good thing even if it drives me mad with the waiting (I refreshed the feed multiple times trying to find it every day since Christmas Eve :pinkiecrazy:).

Something I've noticed in your last few chapters (and that includes the last one of One Pony's Curse) is that you have a lot of meandering dialogue. Lots and lots of talking, seeming to go over points you already made several times in different variations. Or rather, attacking the same point from multiple angles. I think you are one of the few authors I've seen do that (and the only one I can think of that does it repeatedly). Your chapter sizes could be shrunk by around 20% if you tried to be concise in having the characters make a point. That said, I actually enjoy seeing that as most fanfics don't have nearly enough dialogue and body language / reaction shots to actually considering a point from multiple angles like a good essay that can't stay away from tangents, but it is something I noticed as a trend in your recent works. It was just kind of jarring when Nemo and Dresden had the conversation atop the building as it seemed not a good place for it, despite how much I actually enjoyed reading it. Going to accept it as an acceptable break from reality from now on as I enjoyed it and I imagine you did too writing it, even if it does fully embrace 'talking is a free action'.

Speculation: A senior member of the white council (probably Ebenezar McCoy) is the 3rd bearer of harmony near the cottage (probably as Applejack). Though... how Dresden doesn't know that considering he was let back into the White Council is a giant question mark, as well as the fact on how old he would be. Either that, or one of Harry's friends since I believe they all know about Daemonreach. No comments have been made thus far on Karin Murphy or his brother Thomas. Either that, or Pinkie Pie who would just have a feeling of where to go.

Putting the Elements of Harmony on them secretly is a huge, huge, huge violation of trust. I can't possibly see this ending well because Dresden doesn't back down and fully (perhaps correctly?) sees it as a mental attack on THE WARDEN OF DAEMONREACH with the intention to mind control them. I'd be surprised if there wasn't an escalation from signatories to the Unseelie Accords because of how they are attacking a pillar of security of the world / Nevernever, Daemonreach, and actually have the power to overpower the most powerful defenses in the world. (Though I doubt the Equestrians were doing this on purpose, Harmony is more a force of nature than a being that can be reasoned with)

Though from the perspective of the Equestrians I'm sure Twilight Sparkle just suddenly started being tortured when Dresden tried to imprison Kindness and Loyalty, and probably Celestia did everything in her power to help Twilight Sparkle. The fact that the elements are trying to continue to establish a connection to the former bearers is quite horrifying, actually. I really wonder if your story is actually on the up and up or if it's a subversion with the Equestrians being as subversive as Dresden assumes them to be.

5456028 It's okay the fact that you won't make a crossover for those two stories. Ironically enough, I had the same issues when I found out about YHaY and it took me about a year to even push past my views about the stories subject matter to even begin reading about it and I still have moments where I rage that there should be no correlation between MLP and human slavery/ownership. The story if you look past it's faults though is still a good read but I'm still uneasy about certain parts of it. I just wanted to see how you would portray Harry since he is anti-slavery even in the books and has high morals, along with the fact that he can obviously with his skills and powers and gear, survive and maybe help humans out from the ponies, gryphons etc. Or at least utterly flummox the ponies with his clothes, magic use, gear, intelligence, etc and show just how awesome a competent human Mage who won't take shit from any species no matter the gender or power level in magic!

5456028 YHaY went deeper into the slavery aspect than I would like sure, but it was still a good story.

I mean for the most part it's more like an intelligent dog finds itself on earth. Then you mix in some serious stockholm syndrome and some willing ignorance of why it's a bad idea to put a collar on an intelligent human, and then you cross over into the parts that are very morally... ambiguous is the best I can describe them as.

That said, it is an AU. No where near as insulting to my pride as a human as anything conversion bureau related (ACB or not, though I have my favorite ACB fics), so operating off the original alone I'm not sure where the hate comes in. Until 40+ chapters in it plays the humans in this 'verse are actually dumb animals fairly straight, though the ponies are very much not the same ones in the show.

I guess a turn off is a turn off sure. Besides, as entertaining as a YHaY crossover would be, it would lose its charm after a few chapters and need to be ended. A one shot would be great, but a full story? Nah.

Pfft. And I'm still waiting for an update on Cyborg Ponies. He actually wrote 400+ pages for it, it was just most of it was not for the next chapters.
I will say this. He writes dialogue a lot, and has a very good grasp on their personalities.

There is nothing wrong to keep YHaY human as a pet. Because it's homo insapiens with intelligence level comparable to chimpanzee. The true horror that their ancestors were sapient.
If you can do not press rage buttons and keep your tits calm for some time (I know, it's hard, I have several "automatic close tab" buttons myself) try this:
In some aspects it's much more dark and serious than YHaY (glimpses of true pony nature, for example. Suffice to say, we are not the only species that could rightfully recite:
Cruelty has a Human Heart,
And Jealousy a Human Face;
Terror the Human Form Divine,
And Secrecy the Human Dress.

The Human Dress is forged Iron,
The Human Form a fiery Forge,
The Human Face a Furnace sealed,
The Human Heart its hungry Gorge.

But it's a majestic mix of very dark and equally hilarious comedy (protagonist is a true trickster, compared to YHaY "let's just shit on the rug to piss off Twilight" hero), turbulent celestial romance and deconstruction of both YHaY and MLP. Author have some quirks, of course, and I can't agree to many things, but it is head and shoulders above your typical pony story.

5455903 Good point. Yes, perspetive is a mess. That makes it far more reasonable. Its hard to see the other side as justified when you can't see their thoughts. I am pretty sure that you can see that specific scene in Return of Harmony in the exact same light if you try and view it from the side of the Discorded Ponies.
Good point on power level of the Elements. They are in fact able to cure what seems to be a Warlock entirely. So far as I know, nothing in the Dresden files can truely fix that kind of effect. Mind magic, after all, tends to make things worse in most cases. The swords don't seem to be much beyond Holy Hand Grenades. They provide Combat Prowess, as well as some limited Omni-sense, and are pretty much as powerful as is nessesary at the time for the job in hand. They do however have morality locks, and can be disabled or destroyed if used wrong. (sort of) Also, they or their Bearer gets Urges about where they are needed, presumably from one or more Angels.
I could describe the Elements of Harmony here, but some of the local story seems to add more things than they had in the Show, so I am uncertain at this time of accuracy.

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