• Member Since 10th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Urimas Ebonheart


Writer and Spriter.

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Five friends who play an MMO called Kirsarnia are the first to attempt to complete the newest dungeon added to the game.

What they didn't expect is to be dragged through their monitors into another world.

NOTES

This is not a Displaced fic, Luna never became Nightmare Moon and was never banished, the Elements of Harmony haven't been found yet and Discord is one of the good guys and not a villain.

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 194 )

Interesting. Discord you cheeky bastard

I actually searched if that game exist :twilightblush:

"Yeah, and Discord won't send us back and he said no one else could. So we're stuck here and going to make the most of our situation." Frank replies. Samantha and Laura look upset that they'll never see their families and other friends again.

AND THEY ARE JUST GOING TO BELIEVE HIM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

6998827 What else can they do at the moment? They don't know anything about Equestria at the moment.

Seems to be like Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles lol

6998850 I played that... I still have it but never really got into it.

awkward dialog is awkward... dude, Urimas, I run into this problem every time i read one of your stories. You really need to ascertain a better understanding of what actual conversations are like. Your characters spill their guts to anyone and everyone they meet. People don't do that irl. People keep things to themselves, and they don't blather on like you seem to think people do. Try giving only the information that is needed and nothing more some of the time. Play things close to your chest and have your characters do the same, or even better give your characters some trust issues. your characters also rehash the same information over and over again because you leave characters out of the loop that you feel need to be informed of the situation which leave the reader going "JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!". These are big flaws that need correcting. Also please don't have your characters ramble. Exposition dumps can be hard to avoid, but if you find yourself needing to make one try to keep it short and concise please. I hope this helps and keep up the good work!

6998853 I'd like to see the mane 6,celestia (and eventually luna), lyra,vinyl,derpy,maybe even spit fire. :D just some off the top of my head. Also badass story man. You got me hooked just like u did with your other story.

I'm enjoying this so far, also out of curiosity will their be a Necromancer class?

6999242 thats what I should do. Just summon minions to attack while I stand back and enjoy the show. That's how I beat fable 2 and skyrim.

I can all ready tell that when 'Blueballs' finds out that his family castle is taken by them, he's going to bitch and complain till no end!

6999399
maximum profit for minimum effort, best part is you don't have to pay them.

6999592 HAHA! Amen to that and if they die just summon more.

6999716
Though the question is how can you actually kill something that was never alive in the first place.

6999762 Good point. Now I wont feel bad if they die! Buhahaha

I enjoy this story greatly. something about video game mechanics in equestria always draws me in. :pinkiehappy:

How about a split persona for pinkie, like the normal pinkie(or the most normal she can be) be like a trikster and the split persona be an assassin, and she switches between them when her friends are really hurt, or something like that.:pinkiehappy:

7001728 Well, sounds interesting enough, I'll play around with it a bit and see where it goes.

7001773 it's your story, but thank you for trying my idea, and i cant wait for the next chapter

Well, this story has my attention, just like all the others you created. Let's see where this leads up.
Good luck with creating new and exciting stories for all to read, enjoy and lift spirits up!

7001773 nice new chapter. DID NOT see the changling bit coming, but if she's not bon bon, where's the real one? You neglected to talk about that.

7001773 this MMO very much like FF XIV you played that?

7003002 This is an A,U. She is Bon Bon, she was always a changeling.

7003457 lol im LVL 50 across all classes eccept for the Heavensward content

7003457 OHHHHHHH! Didn't know that. :/ thx for clearing that up. Btw when's the next chapter of this and war machine coming out?

7004525 When I have time. Currently spriting to make money, just got paid £31 today.

I thought up a rating system.

Common

Uncommon

Rare

Epic

Legendary

Exotic 5 exist

Unreal Is unbreakable and only 3 exist.


BRokkENn Only one of these exist and are almost impossible to obtain.

Fluttershy's reason didn't seem enough to me.
I mean, if I'm going to invite members to join in highly profitable monster slaying, I'd get those with the resolve to push through to get the job done.
Not to bash on poor Flutters, but it seems illogical and out of character for her to actually volunteer for monster hunting. That is if our dear buttercup were canon. I mean, 82 years old(why give ponies such looo ong lifespans?)... That can definitely change a doormat into a force warrior, but then you gave her description and reason. There may be more to her than meets the eye, just look at Bonbon!
Maybe she's actually from a tribe of fierce Amazonian beauties but left because she was too soft hearted or her tribe was destroyed by the dungeons or something. It would explain her animal affinity and why she's there.
She'd make a greal huntress/beast mistress, (hmm, Mistress Fluttershy has a nice ring to it...whips and haughty laugh and all)
but still what is she TRULY volunteering for?
:trixieshiftright:

7010096 SPOILER!: She' going to be the main 6's party healer. (Druid class using nature magic for healing.) She just want's to make sure her friends stay safe

As for the lifespan, the magic on Equestria just enhances their longevity.

7010123 Ok, now I can Respect her desire to keep her friends safe, but this profession inst the only way to go. there's a whole butt load of things she can be to be more help. Below is my rant on the story so far, please don't get offended. I rarely rant on any fanfic but when i do, that means i can really see this becoming an actual stand alone novel
If she's terrified for her friends safety, she need to not fear. you made the players, for lack of a better name, immortal (which I think is not so cool because it destroys the true need to take things seriously),
so her reason isn't enough to be taken to join monster hunters. MONSTER HUNTERS.
I feel that it would be a more serious factor to have the re-spawn system numbered. Even if it is only for the ponies, it'll give a means to emphasize the gravity of the situation to those who just joined for mundane reasons (Rainbow and Twilight's for example).
PS. keep it up and strong!

7011456 I get your point, but I want to keep the main 6 as a party and Fluttershy is the best candidate for healer. I have the others planed out as well.

yay new uptate i love this story so mutch:)

Its been a while, but if ya pump out chaps with as good an explanation for various classes like this, were good.

Summon all the bosses! Get all the overpowered loot!

One. Show, don't tell. Two. I don't know if you like anime or not, but if you don't, then think of watching this one as purely for study; Log Horizon. The first rule applies to the environment as well. Just keep those in mind and you'll do even better. An example of showing and not telling would be like this:

Satoshi withdrew an arrow from his quiver, focusing his magic into it and giving it a (whatever color you think the Arcane Shot should be) before letting it loose and piercing the (whatever enemy he's fighting) for (so and so damage).

One other note. Well, a question, really. Why are the ponies not confused when they say "gamers" or "levels" or other gaming terms?

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