A changeling gets a very risky and clever idea.
Pretending to be an advanced magic doll left as an anonymous gift in front of Twilight Sparkle's home.
It's so audaciously stupid there is no way it's not going to work.

Okay, I don't know if anyone can hear this, or read this, or whatever, but I'm trying my best to use Pinkie Pie's legendary fourth-wall-breaking powers to try and get a message out.

If you can hear this, I need help. I'm in Equestria, and man, this is strange. But I'm also stuck in Pinkie Pie's body, for some reason.

Yes, it's just as weird as it sounds. And now, I need your help... because all the ponies in this town think I'm crazy!

Long ago, the founders of Equestria built a magical portal on sacred ground, hiding their greatest secret on the other side. Generations of leaders stepped through the portal so that they might emerge as the equal of their forebears.

Celestia and Luna were the last to enter. For a thousand years, the portal lay forgotten, its purpose lost.

Luna thinks it is time that Twilight learn what it means to rule.

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi

Almost a year after what seemed to be the concluding battle in Celestia's great crusade against necromancers, something Mortem believes to be borderline discrimination, he discovers one of Celestia's armies setting up camp just outside his stronghold.

Not wanting to jump to any conclusions or risk angering the very powerful Princess, he concludes a diplomatic solution would be the best way forward. And so, he writes a letter.

Proofread by the wonderful Soren Mercer
Featured on Equestria Daily here
Audiobook versions by Illya Leonov and TheArchitect are here and here respectively
SoundCloud verion of Illya Leonov's is here

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

Twilight Sparkle prides herself on following and sticking to her plans, but she isn't as organized as everypony thinks. Her master list, the plan for her life, has an item that she has never been able to check off; and the time has come to fix that. How hard can it be? All she needs to do is go on a date and get a kiss.

Now available in hard or soft cover!

Once upon a time, (if the term even applies) two young ladies, (if that adjective even applies) decided to visit a magical land of Equestria, selected seemingly at random from about a million.

• One of the two is a time traveler deprived of her time machine, the other is an eldritch abomination out of her element.
• One would prefer the world of pastel-colored ponies to stay as it is, and can’t help but alter it. The other one is anxious to see how it can change, and can’t help but maintain it.
• Both believe that this is not their story. But while they disturb the delicate world of ponies, they don’t even notice ponies doing the same to them.
• Sandwiches are involved somehow.

There are many things this story is and some things it isn’t.

It’s not a fix fic, no matter what some of the characters think. It’s written in multiple first person narration, which happened for a pointlessly clever reason, that will eventually become quite obvious. It’s not a crossover, it just comes with an unhealthy amount of backstory. It could be a rational-fic, but since idealistic philosophy is typically not seen as very rational, it’s only a philoso-fic instead. It’s quite meta, in the original definition of metafiction: fiction concerned with fiction as a concept. In any case, it’s either a small monument to overthinking things – I’m trying to reexamine many fanon ideas here – or a digital paperweight, I’m not sure which. It’s quite a bit more subtle than it could be, and everyone talks way too much when they should be having glorious adventures.
I know how it starts, I know how it ends, and most of what happens in between. Readers say it’s a slow burner, but we’ll get there eventually.

Acknowledgements

With special thanks to my editors, Thainen, Shrink Laureate, and MitchH.
Further special thanks to ScarletWeather and Themaskedferret for valuable input.
The artist who made the cover image stubbornly wishes to remain uncredited, but thanks to her anyway.

Stranded on a hostile, alien world, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash must depend on one another and a fellow alien castaway if they want to return home to Equestria.(originally published on FFN)

Princess Twilight Sparkle discovers a centuries-old mystery hidden in the Royal Archives. Her investigation leads through layer after layer of deception and misdirection, setting her hooves on a path that seems to be leading to a mysterious secret. Along the way, she learns that some friendships can be very, very strange.

Book 1 of the Alicorn Adventure series.

AUDIOBOOK by VisualPony
Featured at the Royal Canterlot Library
TV Tropes Page (Courtesy of Sandtalon)
Goodreads Page (Courtesy of Facedeer)
Equestria Daily Page

WARNING: Major spoilers in the comments. Takes place several months after the end of season four. (Not a Da Vinci Code crossover, BTW!)

Do you see a dark tag? No, you don't. Not dark. Well, okay, there are a couple of dark-ish bits, but that's all. Not enough to warrant a tag. Speaking of tags, there really ought to be "Badass Twilight" and "Friendshipping" ones.

Sequels and side-stories (and more) can be found here Offprint and AO3, and a hardbound two-volume set of all that can be ordered from The Ministry of Image.

My editor for the first edition of this story was Gogito, and I can't thank him enough for all the hard work he did. My editor for the revised version was PresentPerfect, and he did a terrific job of getting the story into excellent shape.

Idol Hooves holds a special place in Equestria. He's probably the only exiled changeling to serve in the Royal Guard, or at least, that's what he expects, as exiles don't really broadcast that fact. However, it's well known that Princess Celestia loves all of her little ponies, and her guards perhaps more so, and that makes it one of the best ways for a changeling to discreetly feed.

But how does a changeling even get there, let alone get exiled in the first place? For that matter, why would it ever go to Canterlot? Set a number of years before the series proper, before Luna’s redemption, Idol details how he was exiled, the ponies he’s met, and the series of misadventures that led him to joining the Royal Guard, and should continue a good ways into the series, as something of an alternate perspective.

Soon, he’ll have to deal with a boisterous new princess to serve and a royal wedding in the works bringing a third to power. Will his old instincts bring this new life crashing down around him? What precipitates Chrysalis’s ill-fated assault on Canterlot? Is it really so wrong for a changeling to enjoy good craftsmanship to an obsessive degree?

New cover art provided by the fantastic Carnifex

And a TVTropes page here.

And an Ask Blog of questionable canonity!
Out of Idol Curiosity

Fanart by Norad2! Major thanks! Short For a Royal Guard

Art by Egophiliac of Idol and his Daring Duckie Please don't tell him what that brush is meant for.

Rating updated to (T), it's a bit darker than (E)
Comedy Tag added as well
And changed the character tags a bit.