23 Conversations, Pleasant and Otherwise
Chapter Twenty Three
Conversations, Pleasant and Otherwise
"If you're going to kill me now, can I ask something of you? A last request?"
Chrysalis seemed startled by my question, and made no reply but to cock an eyebrow at me.
"Tell Celestia..." I broke off in a coughing fit, and struggled to keep on my hooves.
Chrysalis smirked at me. "Tell her what? That you died bravely?"
"No," I didn't shake my head for fear of making myself too dizzy to stand. "No, not that. Tell her who you really are. Tell her what happened to you. She might—"
"Oh, I've had enough of this nonsense," Chrysalis snapped. "I release you from your oath! You can tell her yourself!" She pointed over my shoulder.
"Uh... what?" Sparkling Repartee Sparkle, that's me.[1]
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[1] I have since learned that our ambassador to Zebrica is named Sparkling Repartee. No offense or implied family connection was meant.
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The sand at my feet stirred and whirled in little spirals as a gentle downdraft of air pushed across it. At the edge of my vision, I saw the tip of a huge pearlescent-white wing gently touch the sand on a down stroke and then draw away. I carefully turned my head, and saw Princess Celestia herself, folding her wings away, looking concernedly at me as she did so.
Before I could say anything, Princess Luna slammed into the ground next to her sister and snapped her wings shut. She turned just enough to glare at the changelings out of the corner of her eye and addressed them with what can be best described as a snarl. "Begone, insects!"
Chrysalis returned the glare through slitted eyes and raised her wings.
"No, wait!" I gasped. "It's okay... really. She... uhmn... they really aren't all that bad."
Celestia and Luna gave each other worried looks and then Celestia asked me gently, "Did you hit your head, Twilight?"
"No, I... well, yes. I mean, I think I hit my everything."
Celestia's horn began to glow, and a magical aura the color of afternoon sunshine washed over me. I instantly felt much better but also quite sleepy. "Wait," I mumbled, "Jigsaw and Sessi... they're still in the cave."
"'Sessi?'" Chrysalis asked, slightly bemused. "The changeling I know would kill anyone who referred to her that way."
"Things change," I said, and then yawned hugely.
"Where is this cave?" Luna asked. "I will rescue them."
"General Csharreee," Chrysalis ordered, with a sigh in her voice. "Show the princess to the cave."
My study-buddy must have gotten a promotion. I was going to congratulate her, but the horizon went all wobbly and my eyelids became too heavy to hold open. Celestia lifted me up in her magic, cradling me as she hadn't done since I was a little filly.
It felt—nice.
= = =
When I woke up again, there were dancing suns overhead. A gentle breeze made the silk fabric of the pavilion slowly ripple, moving the decorative border in long waves. I looked carefully at their rays, but they were all symmetrical. No hidden secrets, then.
"Those suns are boring," I said.
"Indeed," Luna said from my bedside. "I find that moons are much more interesting."
I looked around. I was in one of Celestia's big field pavilions. It was sparsely furnished but richly decorated. Light linen curtains divided the space I was in into a sleeping area, but were pulled back to allow the breeze in. There was nopony else present.
"Where are we?" Sometimes the most obvious questions are the best ones to ask.
"Still in the desert city." Luna put her book down and gently brushed me with her magic the way a pegasus or earth pony mother might hold a hoof to a sick foal's brow. "You have healed well, I think."
"Where is everypony else?"
"Sister and the bug queen are holding council," Luna replied with obvious disapproval in her voice. "Your friends are likely exploring what's left of the city or each other. That is all they have done besides take their turns at your bedside these last three days."
A wave of panic rippled over me as Luna’s words set in; how much had I missed?
"Yes, three days, Twilight Sparkle. You needed the time to let the healing magic work. We have brought some of the household guards and traveling things to make it comfortable during your recovery."
"Chrysalis is talking with Celestia?" I asked. "That's good news."
Luna gave a non-committal grunt and asked, "Jigsaw's companion... she was truly one of those parasites?"
"Definitely," I assured her.
"She is now wholly a pony, by any measure, sight, touch, or magic. 'Tis passing strange."
"I'sooth," I replied, grinning.
"Ah," said Luna. "Mockery. You are feeling better."
I grinned fondly, before realizing exactly how much I owed the mare in front of me. "You saved me, Luna. I want to thank you for that."
She waved the gratitude away with an errant flick of her hoof. "I think the insects would not have slain you, even if we had not arrived when we did."
"That's not what I meant... but how did you know to come charging to the rescue?"
"We felt it, Twilight Sparkle! When you unleashed the dark magic, every unicorn in Equestria took note!"
Oh, great. I'd perturbed the entire kingdom. Again. I hoped that no unicorns had been lifting anything heavy or fragile when the magical pulse hit them.
"Well, if not for the dream you sent me, I wouldn't have been able to deal with the dark crystal. The armor idea is what did it."
"Yes... that," Luna paused to collect herself, which was very unlike her. "That was not I. Nor was it wholly a creation of your own mind, as I first thought. It was truly her who trod your dreams."
"Th—the Nightmare?"
Luna gave me a sickly smile and replied, "I'sooth." I suppose it was her attempt to lighten the moment. It didn't work.
"Why did she... what did she want?"
"I do not know, and that troubles me. She has done well by you, but hers is not a generous spirit. It will have been but one small move in an invisible game; of that, we may be sure."
"What can I do about it?"
"Be on your guard. She is imprisoned, weakened, and holds little power, even in your dreams, but she is dangerous, nonetheless. The game against her will be a long one, I fear."
"Why can't life ever be simple?" I groused.
"Why, then 'twould be boring, Twilight Sparkle!" Luna leaped to her hooves. "Arise, slug-a-bed! Let us go rescue dear sister from the clutches of the bug queen's dread conversation!"
"Will there be cake?" I asked as I stood and stretched my still slightly sore limbs.
"Hast thou ever known a Royal Council to lack confections? Celestia's yacht Sunbeam arrived yesterday evening, fully supplied. There is cake of three kinds and cool lemonade and cider besides!"
I grinned. "This trip is starting to look up!"
= = =
It turned out that I didn't have to do all that much explaining to the royal sisters. Jigsaw had kept copious notes about our adventure and Chrysalis, Csharreee, and Sesseressia were very forthcoming about their parts in it all. Very forthcoming. I was glad to have been unconscious while they related the whole thing in excruciating detail.
I was put through a thorough exam by the doctor who was a specialist in magical maladies aboard the royal yacht Sunbeam, which was holding station above the city. I was pronounced "perfectly healthy but abnormal in some regards."
When I pressed the doctor for more specifics, she shook her head. "All alicorns are unique, and I'm assuming that your structural differences are just something to be expected. For a pony who did a head-plant from three thousand feet up, you are in ridiculously good shape."
I still made her give me copies of my X-rays. I couldn't make out what was odd about them, but maybe with a little research... well, that was something for another day.
From Sunbeam's promenade deck, the city lay beneath me like a model—a model that some malign little colt with a love of war stories had been abusing. The northeast quarter was a slumped mass of congealed black lava. The waves in the air above it indicated it still hadn't shed all the heat that had gone into melting it in the first place. To the west a huge section was simply sliced away—a razor-clean cut had dropped buildings, mesa, and all down into the canyon below. Of the part that was left, which was less than a third of the original city in my estimation, not much was in very good shape.
The buildings that were near where the cornucopia were scorched and shattered rubble. I didn't remember any sort of explosion going off there, so that was a bit of a mystery. As for the cornucopia and cavern, Celestia and Luna had sealed it under a black glass dome and containment spell. The cave itself was far too contaminated to cleanse. It could only be isolated.
"Hey, Twilight," came a soft voice from behind me. "You're even harder on ancient sites than old Daring Doo-doo."
I grinned and turned to see Jigsaw and Sesseressia approaching around the curve of the airship's hull. Jigsaw had a many-pocketed vest and saddlebags on, and Sessi wore a light summer robe that was a surprisingly feminine choice of clothing for her. It certainly showed off her legs, though.
"Hello girls," I greeted them. "Been enjoying yourselves?"
Jigsaw grinned shamelessly. "Yup. We sure have! Even so, I'm ready to go home. You haven't left much in the way of non-rubble for us to explore, and I'm looking forward to showing Sessi around Canterlot."
"You know..." I said, thoughtfully. "...you've never told me what it is you've got against Daring Do. It can't just be her propensity for property damage. And how is it that you know about her pen name?"
Jigsaw scowled. "Oh. That."
"Yes," I replied, giving her a look that told her I wasn't going to let her dodge the question this time. "That."
She sighed. "A. K. Yearling was my thesis adviser. Her nom de guerre was sort of an open secret in the department." There was a long pause.
"Go on."
"Well... this was just before the return of Night... uh... I mean, Princess Luna, and old Doo-doo was pretty much instrumental in the choosing of my topic for my thesis."
Another long pause. I raised an eyebrow.[2]
-----------
[2] Luna would have been proud of me.
----------
"Okay, okay!" Jigsaw snapped, and spit the rest all out in a rush. "The title of my thesis was 'The Lunar Legend: An Equinomorphic Personification of Adolescent Jealousy,' and it was published by the university press just one week before Luna came back and made me look like a complete idiot, and Professor Yearling thought it would be a hilarious prank to send a copy to the princess!"
I tried not to laugh. In Celestia’s name, I really did.
Sessi gave me a death glare and I thought for a moment that Jigsaw might actually explode.
And all that was before Luna spoke up from behind them both. "Jigsaw. I thought that name sounded familiar!"
I stopped Jigsaw from flinging herself over the railing to the flight deck in an effort to escape, and we all went into the yacht's saloon and got everypony calmed down with frosty glasses of fruit juice, though Jigsaw was still practically glowing with embarrassment.
Luna dismissed the whole thing with a flick of her hoof. "I never actually read it," she explained. "Twilight Sparkle is the scholar, not I. My secretary Shadow Quill mentioned it to me as a curiosity. I told her to burn it and... ah... forgive me Jigsaw, but do you recall having any particularly bad dreams around that time?"
"After I found out what Do had done? Well, of course, Your Highness. It's understandable: I was pretty upset about the whole thing."
"Oh." Luna cleared her throat, nervously. "Well... let us consider the matter resolved and forgotten, shall we?"
"Of course, princess. That's very generous of you."
"Not at all. Would you care for more..." Luna broke off and turned to me. "And just what are you snickering at, Twilight Sparkle?"
= = =
"I don't like you, Sparkle," Chrysalis said with equanimity. "But it seems to be in the best interests of my hive to cooperate with you."
We stood on the edge of the mesa, making our farewells after the signing of the formal treaty of cooperation. The others had withdrawn a ways to give us a bit of privacy.
"That's fine with me, Your Majesty," I replied. "As long as we have mutual respect, I think the future of our peoples will be a good one."
"Yesss..." Chrysalis looked like she had bitten into something sour. "You do have my respect, for some reason I can't quite understand. I don't like that, either... but I will survive it, I suppose."
"No chance of friendship?" It was a ridiculous question, but I had to ask.
"With you?" She barked out a short, harsh laugh. "As many times as we've tried to kill each other, I think that's not very likely." Then, after a pause, she said, "I have been talking with your friend Jigsaw, though... and she assures me that there are many ponies in Equestria who might be willing to strike up a friendship with me, some even likely to do so, though I find that hard to believe."
Ponies are very strange, sometimes. "Actually, I think that's a definite possibility. In any case, your subjects who will be openly visiting Equestria will be paving the way for enough mutual goodwill to transform you all... I hope."
"And I will be queen no longer," she said quietly.
"Yeah," I rolled my eyes. "You'll be just a plain, garden-variety, drop-dead gorgeous alicorn. Excuse me while I wipe away tears of pity."
"Have I mentioned that I really don't like you, Sparkle?"
"Yep, but I think you really enjoy not liking me, so no pity there, either, Chrissy."
It was her turn to sigh and roll her eyes. We take what victories we can: If I couldn't make a friend, a frienemy would have to do.
= = =
After all of the gear had been loaded and the passengers had boarded the airship, everyone settled in for the journey back home. Before long, I got a chance to have a quiet conversation with Celestia in the privacy of her stateroom.
Trying to describe what it felt like to be possessed by the dark energy was... difficult. I gave her some of the details but I just couldn't convey the sheer impact of it altogether. "It was chaos," I finished up lamely. "Pure chaos. Discord would have been proud."
"Don't bet on it, sweet-cheeks!" came a sarcastic voice from behind me. Oh sun and moon, why had I even mentioned his name?
He was holding a tall drink with an umbrella in it and a tennis racket was tucked under one wing for goodness knows what reason. "My brand of chaos is always fun. Yours was icky! You've got a lot to learn about chaos, Princess Twinklebutt! Call me if you need lessons: I'm in the book." There was a snap of light and he was gone.
What book? I wondered. If he's messing with my library—
Celestia chuckled behind her hoof.
I sighed. "I suppose he's right. I couldn't even do chaos well. Believe it or not, I was trying to organize the changelings. I gave in to my best impulses in the worst way."
"Well..." Celestia said. "...that is the way dark magic can corrupt a pony. It can be a very useful tool, but it is all too easy to rely on. When it fully takes hold, only impulse or desire is left. Sombra was nearly mindless when he returned... focused only on his need for more crystals to complete another dark magic engine. You were just as driven... but you managed to break free of the dark magic's influence. I'm very impressed and ever prouder of you, Twilight."
I shuffled my hooves. I'm always a bit embarrassed by direct praise from her. "Most of the credit goes to Csharreee. I can't imagine the bravery it took to stand up to a super-charged, mad alicorn. She's the one who snapped me out of it... partially, at least. I'm really sorry about glassing so much of the desert ecosystem. I think I did even more damage to the landscape than when I fought Tirek."
Celestia just smiled gently at me. "Oh, I don't think you have to imagine that kind of bravery at all, Twilight."
I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject. "Speaking of Sombra, its lucky for us that the city didn't send out more warriors to set up other dark outposts. He must have left the city just before Chrysalis and her swarm drained all its ponies of love."
"Or just after, considering how he treated the poor crystal ponies," Celestia said quietly.
Oh. Trust her to be able to put her hoof on the heart of a matter. Power untempered by love... I shuddered.
It was Celestia, herself who changed the subject then. She could see I was getting moody and began to entertain me with the latest gossip from the capital. We chatted happily until she had to lower the sun.
= = =
When I was directed to my cabin that evening, I found that all of my expedition gear had been cleaned and neatly stowed there. I was pretty worn out and wanted to flop down on my bunk and drift off to sleep, but I couldn't help noticing my saddlebags. The inner side of each bag was scorched, and the backstrap had been entirely burned away. I quickly checked the contents, but found they were mostly unharmed.
Professor Sharphoof's mummified bag was very, very tempting. I decided I would just take a quick peek at the contents. The tiny amount of of magical energy I used to soften and strengthen the fabric made me a little bit woozy. It was obvious I hadn't fully recovered. I began to lift up the flap, carefully separating it from from the contents, but I had to pause for a huge yawn that I couldn't suppress.
Just a bit more... just a peek.
The writing on the cover of the big book was still legible:
Private Journal
Dr. Sharphoof
It was a good measure of my exhaustion, that I didn't even consider going to work on the journal with conservation spells. At that point, I was completely unable to keep my eyes open. It would have to wait until the next day.
I fell asleep to the soothing hum of Sunbeam's engines as we flew on into the night.
= = =
=
Thanks again to Gogito for another excellent editing job! This story would be much the poorer without his assistance.
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Does this mean we will get a sequel set in the future? I love your writing style and there is never enough bad-flank Twilight. I guess we will find out if there will be a sequel in the next chapter. Dr. Sharphoof's Diary is off course the best instrument to use as a sequel hook.
And no mention of the eldritch horrors yet? those poor poor drones, subject to looking like all sorts of horrors from beyond, ah well, B-movie monster time for them!
hmmmmm
That sounded a lot like something Pinkie Pie would say. Great chapter, I think I spotted a typo or two but I'm too tired at this hour to search for them.
Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't equanimity mean mental calmness and composure? If it does than saying calm equanimity is somewhat redundant, isn't it?
Oh and you typoed Chrysalis here, but that's kind of irrelevant.
Great chapter keep em' coming. I can't remember the last story I enjoyed this much.
3829475
Thank you for finding the typos! Corrected!
3829221
The first troops on the beach... never a good thing. Twilight "removed" them all, poor guys. But the dark contamination is still there, so who knows?
3829359
3829471
I think you're right about the "calm"... I guess I was trying to be too nuanced. Gone.
3829186
It certainly leaves things open!
3829221
Celestia "Don't worry Twilight, I have Captain War Monger working on the problem now. He even has an idea to deal with Insectisaurus."
"Insectisaurus?" Twilight asked as she drank some lemonade.
"The Giant Changeling."
Twilight spit-taked. "Giant Changeling?!"
[Meanwhile in Neighpon]
"Now! I need passion! RAGE! Even....puffiness. Remember, BE the character, LIVE the character, get paid WAY LESS then character."
The giant Changeling in the very cheap Godzilla costume sighed as it turned around to face a equally giant pink fluffy pony with a cheap set of "bug antenna" on it's head.
"Return of Puffera, fight 5, take 42!"
"ACTION!!"
ALL THE SEQUEL HOOKS!
If you do not write a sequel to this, I will find you. And then we can both have fun finding out all the ways to use a blowtorch on someone. It'll be a science experiment!
3830190
I'm a sandan in Chainsawjitsu... it will be interesting!
3830119 And so began the series of films that rivaled sharknado for brain destroying power it possesses.
Awesome! This story really was a great fun adventure frolic, can't wait to read more from you.
Huh? What book tho? There hasn't been many bo-
La-gasp!
3830574
What else would you expect from a film series that got the Fluffle Puff taco seal of approval?
Though between you and me I'm still wondering how all the films got the "Ham" rating
3831217 How else haha, william shatner's toupee. That things been leeching the brains out of all the great directors. Its even spawned a false slogan in rogain, then when folks are nice, we forget about the root of the problem.
Princess Twinklebutt
I lol'd
PLZ WRITE MOAR SOON
THE CELESTIA CODE 4 THE WIN 
3832135
There's one last chapter and an epilog to go!
(And more in my head... lots more.)
3831927 So... First chapter then?
That's our Luna, badass as always.
3836652
Dude! That mare... has a cloak made out of bats.
A CLOAK MADE OUT OF FREAKIN' BATS!
"Badass" doesn't even begin to cover the situation!
3835335
Thank you! I hope it continues to entertain.
3836782
Agreed.
Thank you for updating this!
This story and all its elements GREATLY TICKLE MY FANCY!
Luna's a badass, Twilight's a badass. Damn, please don't ever let this story end. It feels like it's wrapping up and I don't want it to.
3849456
Man, that is some of the best praise that an author can receive! Thank you.
All things must end, unfortunately... but there's always the possibility of a sequel.
3854148
Actually, the marking system is based on a Spanish, New World code for marking areas explored for gold. For example: A heart crossed with a lightning bolt meant that particular hole in the ground was a particularly good mine... and heavily trapped. (I added the horseshoes for an Equestrian touch.)
Does Twilight know the true definition of insanity :P
I've been enjoying the story, and look forward to the epilogue, but there are a couple of as-yet-unresolved points I'm wondering about (spoilered where appropriate):
- Does Celestia know that the device was intended to kill her and could have succeeded in doing so? If so, it might be worth adding to a callback to this being why information about the site was suppressed, as well as some in-prose explanation of why she didn't destroy it herself as Twilight managed to.
- Why exactly where the hidden clues about the MacGuffin placed? While the civilization was active, anyone who should know about it could easily just have been told about it by its caretakers. I'm having trouble seeing why they would want to help anyone else get their hooves on it in the then-hypothetical situation where they were no longer around to use it. There are a handful of possible explanations, but right now it's a source of "Fridge Logic" for readers.
- Minor item: the idea that Nightmare Twilight was mountain-sized and could literally brush away parts of a city with a flick of her wings is awesome, but it's hard to tell whether or not that was meant to be taken literally or figuratively (as the passage was deliberately written with "unreliable narrator" dream-like overtones; very nice effect with that). What exactly happened there (i.e., what would an outside observer have seen)?
Thanks for writing the fic!
3855669
The questions in the first paragraph will be answered in the last chapter.
There is a reason for the hidden messages, and will... possibly be answered, though I'm having a bit of trouble fitting it in naturally because all the ponies who know why are long dead. Still working on that.
Last question... there are some clues in the text... shadows and burned bags. And I may make it explicit in the last chapter.
Thanks for reading the story, and thanks a lot for thinking about it!
The next chapter won't be long now- and I think you're all going to like it...
Ahh, now that's a much better nice than last chapter's.
Twilight is not the only one grinning at that.
Hmn, those x-rays. Sequel hook? If so I'm on board.
Ahh, so thesis advisor is the connection between Jigsaw and Daring. Not my guess of course, but there had to be something.
Bwhahahahaha!
>>>"Yes... that," Luna paused to collect herself, which was very unlike her. "That was not I. Nor was it wholly a creation of your own mind, as I first thought. It was truly her who trod your dreams.">>>
The Nightmare spirit still roams... Sequel bait.
Pretty soon Chrissy will be moving into Twilight's library with a super pink and super fluffy pony, a sort of...Flufflepuff if you will...
i1.ytimg.com/vi/L9LCLktP_g4/maxresdefault.jpg
If she's known to share these delights with visiting dignitaries, this method of running a Royal Council just might make it into my fic!
...with your permission, of course. 
Hmm, interesting. I feel that the Nightmare might be messing things up somehow.
I have to say, I absolutely love your miss Twilght Snarkle
Is that a Portal reference or have I simply played that game too often?
A nice wrap-up. Most of the questions are answered and most of the outstanding issues at least addressed.
I'm not surprised the Crystal Chamber had to be sealed off. The way reality was going on the blink down there, I suspect that it looks soft, sounds like mint, smells of brass music, feels like air freshener and tastes purple. Nothing is going in there and coming back alive, let alone sane for about the next thousand years, I think.
Yeah, I thought that a friendship between Chryssie and Twi was too much to hope for. However, I think that they've come to a mutual understanding of each other and their views that means things don't have to dissolve into violence the next time they meet.
Luna was wonderful in this chapter. I liked her trolling of Jigsaw but you do have to wonder - Did Daring Do know that the Legend of Nightmare Moon was actually history (making her a troll too) or was it just unlucky chance? More importantly, where did all this stuff about The Nightmare come from? Obviously the Nightmare Force is canon in this time-line and the fact that she's riding around in Twilight's head is pretty worrying.
So, just the epilogue left to go!
So why did the Nightmare help? To expose Twilight to massive amounts of dark magic of course! I wouldn't be surprised if she had been influencing Dr. SharpHoof too, and wanted Twilight to find that journal. Keep a close eye on Twilight guys, some of that dark magic could still be lingering.
Anywhere I can find a picture of that airship? Sounds pretty cool.
3830119 Lol, just lol.
Though, Twilight mentions being sorry for damaging the land, but not a word about all the changelings she erased from existence, hmm...
Cya
Raziel-chan
....Why do I get the sneaky suspicion that our little adventure isn't anywhere NEAR done with yet? That Sharphoof's Journal is Foreshadowing for great events once more?
Oh, please. Please tell me there is a physical copy of this
I want to know what is in that book.
I love this story.
pfft!
lol. Luna likes da bootay!
So many d’awww moments, that was marvelous!
...now you’re just showing off.
Gods, I love Discord
3830119
Lmfao
Here's the thing, what Daring did to Jigsaw was awful and would have ruined a lesser mare's career. And is completely believable in the world of Academia
The ponies should have more accurate history, given that their Kingdom lasted for over millenium and they have individuals who lived for over 1,111 years. I suspect that Princess Celestia is responsible. Many stories have this premise.