Chapter Four
Surprises
The first part of our journey in the true wasteland began south of the end of the rail line in Dodge Junction. It was territory that was actually familiar to me. We crossed a steep, crumbling ridge of rock early one morning and caught a hot breeze from the plains below.
"Oh my goodness!" cried Jigsaw. "What is that awful smell?"
"The gate to the underworld," I told her.
She looked back at me with a weird expression. "You're not kidding, are you?"
"No, not at all!" I smiled. "And if you think it's bad now, you wouldn't believe what it's like close up! Without magical protection, the fumes could knock you out. Really. I saw birds drop right out of the sky! Fortunately, we're not heading in that direction."
"So..." Jigsaw hesitated and cleared her throat. "When were you near the gates to the underworld?"
I chuckled. "I actually had to go all the way down to the mouth of Tartarus to get Cerberus chained up again. It's kind of a funny story..." I told her all about my little misadventure with the time spell, and she listened very attentively, but kept giving me these weird looks.
"And you did this alone," she said once I had finished. "Before your ascension, when you were just a unicorn like me?"
"Yes," I replied. "All my friends were busy trying to disaster-proof the rest of the kingdom."
"I remember that," Jigsaw said thoughtfully. "The dean had us locking up the more 'interesting' volumes in the library, and the Theoretical Magic department had to suspend all upper-level demonstrations and experiments for a week."
I gave her a sheepish smile. "All my fault, I'm afraid."
She was quiet for a long while after that. I supposed she had been terribly inconvenienced by my little freak out, and now that she had somepony to blame it on, she was a little miffed. I didn't blame her.
When we had gotten beyond the range of the stench of the underworld (or the wind had shifted in our favor), we stopped for lunch. Jigsaw was still a bit subdued, but at least she was talking to me again. I wish I was better at reading subtle body language. It seemed to me that she was being—shy? Embarrassed? That couldn't be right.
I used a bit of magic to summon up some fresh watercress sandwiches, which I knew she liked, as a sort of apology.
She smiled at me and said, "Thank you, Princess."
"Hey," I said. "We're on an adventure here! No need for formalities."
"I know," she replied. "But I can still call you 'Princess' when I feel like it." She took a bite of her sandwich and made an appreciative mmmm. She swallowed and said, "And right now I feel like showing a little respect, okay?"
I shrugged. "Uhmn... sure." I was so confused. So, I started in on my own meal. Sandwiches are simple and immediately understandable.
= = =
Toward evening, we came across a few huts at the base of a towering rock spire. A number of wary burros watched our approach.
Once they had satisfied themselves that we were no threat, they welcomed us, and offered us a place to stay for the night.
They weren't really organized enough to have an official mayor, but there was one of their number named Oatman that most of them seemed to defer to. I invited him to share our supper with us, and he took us to a mesquite wood ramada overlooking an arroyo. There were several rugs spread out beneath the woven roof, and a low table where we could set out our food.
Over the meal, I asked him if he could give us advice on how to proceed or possibly guide us for part of our journey.
Oatman made the strangest faces when he was thinking hard. He studied my map carefully while he sucked air through his teeth. "Yeh don't wanna go there," he said, tapping the paper with a hoof. "Big ol' dragon lives up inna cave right 'bout there."
"I'm afraid we have to," I told him. "Where, exactly, is this dragon's cave? Is it hard to get to?"
He gave me a long look before he replied. "Lemme see if I unnerstand yeh," he said. "Yeh wanna know whar th' dragon lives, yah?"
"Yes, that's right."
"An that's 'cause yeh want to make shur ta avoid 'im, yah?"
"Oh, no, no! We want to talk with him! If he lives near the ruins, he might have valuable information for us," I clarified.
Oatman turned to Jigsaw. "Is this here filly right in th' head? Dragons ain't much fer talkin'. They's more inclined to roast and eat folk who come a-knockin' at their doors. I'd hate to see such fine ladies as yerselves get all et up." He winked at her while making a little clucking sound out of the corner of his mouth.
Oatman had been very helpful to us, but I was a bit put off by his flirting by way of expressing concern for two young mares wandering alone out in the big bad desert. I decided it was time for a little demonstration. "Do you see that boulder down there?" I pointed at a big chunk of sandstone in the arroyo below us.
"Yah," he looked at me skeptically. "Yeh ain't tellin' me a sweet little thing like you kin' lift that big ol' rock with yer magic, are yeh? Thing must weigh a couple hunnert tons, at least!"
I didn't even bother to look at the boulder as I lifted it, spun it around a few times, and put it back down. It was much better watching the expression on Oatman's face. "Well, I'll be a mule's uncle! Heh... come to think on it, I am a mule's uncle!"
Before he could imply how much he'd like to be a mule's daddy, I snapped my head around and hit the boulder with a full-power blast of magic. I was cheating a little because I had noticed when I picked it up that the bottom was damp from where it had been buried in the sand of the arroyo. I aimed my blast right at that spot and got more bang for my bit from the resulting steam explosion.
It took all my willpower to maintain my imitation of Celestia's Serene at All Costs expression in the face of Oatman's utter shock and amazement. I raised a shield over the ramada to fend off the gravel and hoof-sized chunks of stone that began to rain down and said, "The dragon won't be a problem. Now, where, exactly, is he?"
= = =
I was very disappointed when it became apparent that the dragon had decided to kill me. It was depressing to recall how seldom logic had worked when negotiating with various creatures during my journey. I had explained that we would only be in his territory for a brief while, that I needed just a bit of information about the old ruins to the south, and that I would provide the dragon with several superb emeralds for its cooperation. Both parties would benefit from the transaction.
The dragon heard me out, smiled, and took in a deep breath preparatory to roasting me alive.
I sighed and slammed the dragon's head against the roof of the cave with a burst of telekinetic magic. Blue fire and a howl of pain burst out of the dragon's serrated jaws and curled harmlessly around the stalactites. He snarled and swung a blow at me with a massive foreclaw.
I shook my head sadly as my shield spell stopped the blow several body lengths away from where I stood. "All right. If you don't want to be sensible, let me put it this way." I'm ashamed to admit that I actually got a fair bit of pleasure out of the next few moments of bouncing the dragon around the inside of its cave like a pebble in a vigorously shaken jar. It wasn't because I enjoyed causing harm, even to a pony-eating monster, but because it took a fair bit of precision to inflict a suitable amount of violence without causing any lasting damage. I always love getting practice in practical applications of my magic.
When the dragon regained consciousness, it found me laying on its snout, forelegs casually crossed, wings neatly folded, with a look of mild sympathy on my face. "Now that I've explained things properly, do you think we can come to a peaceful agreement? Don't nod."
I tried not to chuckle at the expressions that flashed across the dragon's face. It wasn't just because the cross-eyed puzzlement, doubt, and confusion were funny-looking on a gigantic predator, but the twitches and ripples of muscle in the dragon's snout beneath me tickled a bit.
"Okay," the dragon finally said as softly as it could manage. "But... uhm... do I still get to keep the emeralds?"
"Of course!" I levitated the gems out of my left saddlebag and set them down in front of me. The dragon's eyes crossed even further. I lifted a large scroll out of the other bag and unrolled it. "I need to find a very old library. Now, let me show you this map..."
= = =
Jigsaw peered up over the boulder outside the cave where she had taken cover during my "discussion" with the dragon, her eyes wide. "Holy Stars, Twilight! You smacked him around like he was just a misbehaving puppy!"
"What?" I feigned shock. "Jigsaw, I'll have you know that I would never mistreat a poor dog like that!"
That got a giggle out of her. "What about a post-grad? I hear your reviews can be pretty rough, sometimes."
"That's different. I'm preparing them for the savage world of academia."
Jigsaw chuckled. "That's so kind of you. No wonder all the students call you 'best princess, ever!'"
I almost fell for it. But of course they didn't. It was obvious, and not just because I had once overheard some Magical Theory majors calling me 'Nightmare Twilight', either. I settled on a derisive snort for my reply.
We followed the steep trail back down the edge of the mesa, away from the dragon's cave, until we reached a switchback that overlooked the broad alluvial fan to the south. The sun was getting low in the sky, casting long shadows across the desert. I lifted a spyglass out of my bags and scanned the horizon. "I think I can see the edge of the canyon. Just to the left of that little spire of rock. That's where the dragon said the ruins would be." I passed the glass to Jigsaw while recording the compass heading and estimated distance in my notebook.
Jigsaw lowered the glass and turned to me. "Are you going up for some reconnaissance? I'll meet you at the bottom of the mesa."
I shook my head. "Too late in the day. The bottom of the canyon will be in deep shadow by now." I wasn't exactly telling the truth. I didn't want to do a fly-over because I felt a strong reluctance. I wasn't really sure I wanted to get where we were headed. I still hadn't told Jigsaw about the depiction of Celestia I had discovered. I knew I should tell her, but somehow I kept putting it off. "Besides, I'll stand out there, lit up by the sun when most of the landscape is falling into shadow. No sense in attracting attention, right? Lot of things out there that are worse than our scaly friend in the cave." I gave her what I am sure was a sickly grin. "Right?"
She hesitated a second before replying, "Right." Then she slowly turned away and we resumed the descent.
Big, brave, dragon-bashing princess, that's me. Scared of a picture in a book.
= = =
The next day was uneventful, and Jigsaw and I mostly passed the time with Canterlot gossip and archaeology stories. In the evening, we made camp on a little rise above a spring where willows and cottonwoods grew around a tiny pond of clear water.
In the morning, Jigsaw took our canteens down to the oasis pool to fill them while I scanned the desert with my spyglass. The landscape was completely lifeless for miles around. That's the nice thing about a big, empty desert, I told myself: It's really hard for things to sneak up on you. Not like the Everfree, where there could be who-knows-what around every bend in the path.[1]
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[1] By the way, these thoughts had nothing to do with the timing of the subsequent attack. That's pure superstition.
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Since we had visited the dragon's cave, I had come up with another half-dozen plausible reasons for not taking to the air, though I did fly us up out of the box canyon we had wandered into. Even dragging my hooves, it was only going to take another day or so to reach the ruins. I sighed. Ferreting out knowledge was what I was all about. Why did I think I could change the outcome by delaying? I sighed again, put the glass away, and went to help Jigsaw. And that's when the monsters attacked.
The first one erupted out of the wet sand in front of Jigsaw and grabbed her with its huge, bony talons. She was still sucking in breath for a scream when I hit the thing in the head with both forehooves. I hadn't even thought before lunging at it, flapping with all my strength to increase my speed. Its head snapped back, giving me a way too close view of its shark-like maw, and it released Jigsaw, who fell to the sand with a heavy thump and a gasp.
I heard, rather than saw, the second creature as it burst out of the water behind me. I bucked instinctively and felt my hooves skitter off something hard and thin, most likely a reaching claw.
Jigsaw yelled as the first bunyip recovered and tried to grab her again. The thing looked like a cross between a giant crab and a shark—only uglier. We were in a very bad position—and the best thing to do when in a bad position is leave.
I jumped on Jigsaw, wrapping my fore-hooves around her barrel, and flapped hard. We shot straight up as the claws of the creatures ripped through the air below us. I took a quick look around and spotted a large spire of rock a short distance away. I angled my wings and slid down through the air until we gently touched down on its flat top.
"Are you okay?" I asked Jigsaw.
She winced and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Yeah, I... ah, ouch!"
"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Let me see!"
"It's okay, Twilight, really. I'm just scraped up a bit." She took another deep breath and winced again. "I think my ribs are going to be sore for a while, though. Holy stars, you're strong!"
I groaned and smacked myself in the forehead. I'd probably hurt her worse than the monster! "The earth pony part of me," I explained, lamely. "I'm not quite used to it yet. I'm really sorry, Jigsaw! I should have just teleported us away from there when the first monster let go of you. I don't know what I was thinking!"
She shook her head. "You got us out of there in one piece! I'm the one who messed up. I walked right into a perfect bunyip ambush spot. Things have been going so well up until now that I got careless. We should have stuck to small, rocky waterholes."
"I read the same books that you did. I should have realized it, too."
"Yeah, but I'm the one who—"
"Okay, I'm pulling rank, Jigsaw! I'm the princess, and I say I'm the one who's to blame!"
She stood there for a second, with her mouth open, and then snapped it shut. "Okay, then."
"Good." I nodded.
"Right." She nodded.
"I'm glad that's settled."
"Oh, it isn't settled yet, Princess."
"What?!"
"I'm keeping the expedition journal." She smirked at me. "So I get to write this up. You're going to be a hero whether you like it or not."
We stood there glaring at each other for about a second and then we began to laugh. We laughed until tears streamed down our faces. We laughed until we both collapsed. The bunyips peered up at us from far below. They must have thought we were crazy.
= = =
I rubbed some healing salve I had gotten from Zecora on Jigsaw's ribs when we made camp for the night after the bunyip attack, on solid rock and far from the nearest water hole. I expected her to protest, but she let me make a fuss over her without comment. In fact, she didn't say a word.
Then, as I was laying out my bedroll across the fire from where she lay, she spoke up.
"Twilight?"
There was something in her tone of voice, a plaintiveness that surprised me. "Yes, Jigsaw?"
"Could I... I mean... Would you mind if I..."
I waited for her to go on, but when she kept silent, I asked, "What is it?"
She shook her head. "Never mind."
That made me even more concerned. I stood and walked around the fire to her. She turned her head away and said, "No, really... I'm fine."
I reached out and lay a wingtip across her withers. She was trembling. "Jigsaw!"
"It's... it's just a delayed reaction. I'm a grown mare..."
Yep, that's me: Princess Clueless Sparkle. I'd become so inured to horrific evil in the last few years that I hadn't even considered how Jigsaw must have felt about the bunyip attack. She'd probably never been in mortal peril before in her life.
I brought my bedroll around the fire and smoothed it out next to hers. Then I lay down next to her and wrapped my wing around her. She leaned against me, still shivering occasionally.
"I still have nightmares about the Tirek thing, sometimes," I told her.
"Really?"
"Really." I pressed my head against her neck and stroked her back with my wing as I whispered into her ear. "But I've got a secret weapon to keep the bad guys away: Friends. Friends who will watch my back, friends who will listen when I'm concerned, and friends who will just be there when I need them to be."
I held her until she stopped shivering and her breathing slowed and deepened, and then I was able to sleep, too.
= = =
All day, I had been feeling like somepony was watching us. I even flew a search spiral around the place we had chosen to stop for lunch. Cactus and coyotes—not much else.
"Everything okay, Twilight?" asked Jigsaw as I landed.
"Well, I didn't see anything out of the ordinary," I replied. "Except that the canyon is very near now. We should get to the edge by nightfall." I frowned and dug the tip of my hoof into the sand. "But I still can't seem to shake this feeling that there's something out there."
"We're almost to the ruins. It's probably just nerves."
I grinned. Jigsaw was getting to know me pretty well. "Probably," I agreed.
"So," she stood up and levitated the lunch things back into her pack. "Let me excuse myself for a moment, and then we should hoof it! Best thing for nervousness is to get it over with."
I had to agree with her. I took care of my own business and then we struck out on the final leg of our journey.
= = =
The Daring Do books skip right over the hours and hours of just putting one hoof after the other, which comprise the largest part of any adventure. It seems like a very sensible thing to do.
= = =
The canyon was pretty impressive. It was deep and twisty and had lots of spires and side rifts: very picturesque. On top of one very large, isolated mesa in the loop of a very large meander of the canyon was the ruined city. It had been built out of local stone and looked almost as if it had grown out of the rock. It would be a short flight across the canyon to reach it. I could even teleport us both across with minimal effort.
Jigsaw stood close by my side, saying nothing. She hadn't said much since lunch, content to just trot along behind me. "Well," I said. "Why don't we get a good night's sleep and start fresh in the morning?"
She gave me a brilliant smile. "That sounds nice."
I made a fire and put the tea kettle on while Jigsaw laid out our bedrolls. I still had the weird feeling that had been plaguing me all day, so I swept the desert behind us with the best detection spell I knew.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
We ate our dinner, and only then, I noticed that Jigsaw had set out our blankets right next to each other. I wasn't sure what to say. Or if I should say anything. I delayed a bit, cleaning and stowing the dishes. Jigsaw went to her blanket and lay down, watching me. When I'd finished, she smiled at me again, and patted the blanket next to her.
I usually read a bit before going to sleep, so I carried a small book over with me, lay down, and opened it to my bookmark. Jigsaw shifted over until she was pressed against my side and then lay her head across my neck.
"Uhmn... are you okay, Jigsaw?" I asked, more than a bit confused by her actions.
"Mm-hm." She sighed. "As long as I'm next to you, Princess."
Oh. Oh, no.
I set my book aside. "Jigsaw..." I hesitated. What could I say? How had I given her such a wrong impression? What should I do? Should I do anything?
"Yes, Your Majesty?" She shifted her head and began to gently nibble behind my ear.
"I... uh..." I think I was on the edge of panic. "Don't... don't call me that."
She moved again, and her soft lips began to work down along my jaw line. "But, why not? You are majestic. So beautiful, so strong."
Okay, full-blown panic mode. What had I done? What had I said? It had to be my fault somehow. Why else would she suddenly act so—
Oh. Lovey-dovey. Yeah.
I pushed her head away and locked eyes with her. "You know I like being called 'mistress.'"
There it was: a split-second of surprise. Just a flash of uncertainty, and then a slow, seductive smile. "Of course, mistress. How can I serve you?"
I grabbed all four of her hooves and hauled her up into the air in front of me. She gasped in shock and I'm sure she could feel my anger at that point, but she made one last try, anyway. "Oh, mistress! Please be gentle with—"
"Shut up!" I gave her a shake and then hit her with a short blast from my horn. Her disguise peeled away from the black chitin underneath, revealing her true form. "Where is she? Did you hurt her? Tell me!"
The changeling struggled in my grasp, her wings buzzing and her fanged mouth snapping. "Let me go! I can call the swarm and they will—"
"Call them," I hissed. "Bring them here and I will burn them from the sky!" I had to stop and close my eyes for a second. The rush of adrenaline had me shaking and nauseous. I took a deep breath and continued, "You have just one chance to survive the next few seconds, and that is to tell me where Jigsaw is, right now!"
The bug believed me. Which was very good for both of us. "Alright, alright!" she gasped, "I'll tell you, if you promise to let me go."
"If you tell me where she is," I said in a cold, shaking rage, "and she is unharmed, I will let you go free. I give you my word as a princess of Equestria."
"How do I know you will—"
I lifted a hoof-sized rock up next to her head and poured energy into it until it became molten. The changeling cringed away from the heat. "You don't have any choice," I snarled.
= = =
Jigsaw threw her hooves around my neck, still covered in green goo from the cocoon she had been trapped in. "Thank you, Twilight, thank you! I was so scared!" She had been trapped since noon when the changeling had caught her alone, just after lunch.
I stroked her mane, not caring at all that I was being covered in noisome slime. "It's okay, Jigsaw. You're safe now."
"You promised to release me!" the still-bound changeling called from behind me.
Jigsaw flinched away from the creature. I turned around slowly, and the changeling flinched away from me.
"You... you promised!" she whined.
I began to slowly pace towards her.
"No! No, please!" she cried.
= = =
=
And this is the same Twilight that let the dragon have the emeralds anyway, in Chapter 1? I guess changelings are Serious Business or something.
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Yep, same Twilight. You'll see....
Evil, evil cliffhanger!
Also, be prepared for more readers soon, his got recced offsite.
whats going to happen to teh changeling?? will Queen Chrysalis be involved somehow? if so I'm so pumped!!
Daaaaaaaaaamn, Twilight. She sure learned to be hard. And that changeling sure choose the wrong traveling party to infiltrate. I wonder if it'll be along for the ride now given the changeling character tag.
Still really loving this story. This chapter was another wonderful, mixed addition of intense and heartfelt to the adventure.
One correction for ya:
Chapter 4: Saw...
After watching Nightmare Twilight brutally murder the changeling, Jigsaw went insane and became this:
sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608038391313008752&pid=15.1
4036942 NO DONT BECOME AN UN- VIEWABLE PICTURE JIGSAW :P
Jigsaw got close: Oh no, not another lesbian clopfic, prepares to leave.
Twilight pushes her away - YAY! thoughts done fairly accurately from Twilight too - still an interesting story development
Jigsaw is a changeling - Well I didn't see that one coming
Bit unclear on when the real jigsaw was kidnapped but, OK.
Ending; hmmm: probably not accurate to Twilight, though probably the wisest thing to do there.
Hmm, interesting. I have been noticing that the way you write Twilight seems a little more . . . evil. I think that it is more believable as a character but still rather odd. However, I do like how it fits well with the story overall.
Oh hey, the first of the cliffhangers you warned me about!
Okay, i really liked that part. Really cute. But was that Twilight with Jigsaw, or Twilight with the Changeling? This two-timeline format is too advanced for my simple mind
Hmm.
So you started writing this before season 4 aired, yet it's got references to Daring Don't and Twilight's Kingdom, unless you're referring to some other "Tirek thing" in this chapter. What's the timeline here? Or did you go back and add things in later?
Yep, the Badlands have their name for a reason. Bunyips, Dragons, Changelings and probably things ten times worse!
I think that bug is about to find out why Discord himself is more than a little afraid of Twilight Sparkle, why the list of major Dark powers crushed under her hooves goes up every year and why no one harms her friends. Seriously, I think that Jigsaw will talk her down but it is going to be a close-run thing.
You would think after the whole wedding bit that the changelings would have learned not to mess with a Princess of Equestria. No such luck; they're all as dumb as Tirek.
You know normally I despise broken narratives like this. Somehow you are making this whole jumping back and forth thing work. It's kind of like we are experiencing Twilight's stream of though ( and normally stream of thought is very disorganized but I think Twilight is allergic to that word). Normal people (or ponies) don't have the flash and grayed out view of past events like tv shows use to relate a flashback. This seems more like Twilight is remembering something while on her journey.
Oh man this is awesome. I love how princessey Twilight is! MMM!
tell me
D: Nooooo, don't hurt the poor changeling!
Cya
Raziel-chan
Jigsaw does have a bit of a crush on Twilight.
Note to self: Don't piss Princess Twilight off.
My guess is that the changeling is going to be interrogated, roughly.
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No ROMANCE tag on this story, but you probably ought to skip the sequel.
The only issue I've come across so far!
Did you use this years BEFORE the show did?!
O.O
I read this as though she had magically exposed the poor mares actual ribs!
8344615
Fix'd, thanks!
Yep, I wrote about these bunyips long before the episode aired!
What a great story premise! Looking forward to next chapter. I must say, I am enjoying an in-charge, powered up Twilight. I always got frustrated when the show failed to show her more powered up as an alicorn... I was a little annoyed when she went down to Starlight Glimmer so easily back then...
Anyway, You have my attention. I need more powered up, mature-thinking sci-twi in my life!
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Ah, well, if you've enjoyed that, I'm sure you'll like what is to come!
I failed to see the romance tag or warning for sex, but frankly should have known better after Luna's conversation with Twilight. Shame on me.
All the same, perhaps these themes could be made more clear up front? For idiots like me.
Did you edit in the reference to Tirek after this chapter was published? What did it say before?
9913013
Yes, I did. The original line mentioned Discord, but he soon became semi-reformed. I tried to keep this series canon-compliant, or at least adjacent, but that soon became impossible.
Huh...you know, for some reason I did not expect that last bit. I probably should, to be honest. There is no Romance tag, after all.
Ah yes, back when Tartarus was more than just a glorified broom closet! I felt like its sense of scale that was hinted at briefly in S4 wasn't used to its full extent. It felt a lot smaller in S8/S9. Guess Hasbro has to be careful with how "hellish" they make it!
I wonder if this could have drastic implications... Being able to just magic food out of thin-air like that. Do you think she long-distance raids her own kitchen to instantaneously and simultaneously make the sandwiches and teleport them? I always headcanon that food grown by unicorns (or conjured in this case) or pegasi is either less abundant, less tasty, or less nutritious, so maybe that keeps things in check so the earth ponies still have a job lol
Mood.
Is this the equivalent of putting on sunglasses / cool mares don't look at explosions? Such a show off.
*Dragon scene here*
Yup. She's showing off lol.
Oh Twilight, we all have our fears and worries, irrational as they may be at times. I feel ya there.
Yessssssssssssss latent enhanced strength via earth pony magic. One of the perks of being an alicorn! Although I like to think Applejack would probably still best her in a case of raw strength... But at least she won't have any trouble pushing snow plows for Winter Wrap Up anymore!
This whole little scene was precious, and this line here really shows some of the vulnerabilities Twilight still has. She may be a borderline-goddess with reality-warping magic, but everypony has fears. (even if it's a magic SUCCing centaur monster)
Snrk.
Oh yes.
...
OH NO ITS A BUGGO
Sweet Celestia's withers Twilight, you scary girl. I really like the badassery you've instilled into her here. She's not edgy, she's badass. Something about the way it's presented here just WORKS, without compromising who she is.
Lots of stuff happened in this chapter! Very busy, but it was enjoyable to read. I can see where it would be easy for a journey to get "bogged down" with lots of traveling, but the rapid scene changes kept things fresh. Other readers in the comments are talking about stuff like jumping around in the timeline of events. Maybe I'm just slow-witted, or my constant pausing-to-write-comments made it feel more like a long, continuous A-to-B chain of events? I dunno.
Still! Great cliffhanger!
Also, question for you! How do you avoid power creep? It's pretty clear that Twilight's prowess with magic grows over the course of the series. This is especially evident during S1-S5 with a heavier focus on her. Since MLP never really established anything remotely close to power levels or how to measure magic (honestly I think this was for the better for the show's health but that's a whole other topic), there's a LOT of flexibility with how to write Twilight. But, post-S4, it's clear she's pretty capable. Even if you take away the DBZ-powers from her taking in the other 3 alicorns's magic, she's a force to reckoned with. Yet, how does one avoid making her TOO overpowered? I know I can lean on character drama, interactions, and growth, but when Twilight is at the point where she can teleport anywhere in the world or summon objects from her home halfway across Equestria, that's pretty potent! I don't want to write situations where she (or the other alicorns for that matter) become so powerful that the scale of consequences start to unravel. Theoretically, what's stopping Twilight or Celestia from just zapping in, yeeting the bad guy, and zapping out? Or solving all of Equestria's problems by providing food and water and materials to turn ponies into a mega civilization?
I LOVE to see the alicorns as powerful goddesses, but trying to find limits and keeping narratives from collapsing in on themselves is always tough.
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The problem of an extremely powerful character is very tricky! The two "classic" ways of dealing with it are to nerf the character somehow, or bring in an even more powerful opponent. Or both.[1] Both strategies aren't supportable in the long run, because you either end up with a helpless main character, which isn't much fun, or you reach a point where a fight between the two opponents is incredibly dangerous to everything and everyone around them.[2]
A really good example of how to do that right is the return of Starlight Glimmer. Nearly on Twi's level with magic, but more practiced, and clever enough to set up a "can't-lose" scenario.
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[1] I'm looking at you, The Skyla Pseudonym.
[2] I'm looking at you, Twilight's battle with Tirek (And, I suppose, World Wars I and II. )
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A key component of the sequel to Magisight that I've been tossing around is using the anti-magic material from the MLP Movie. The stuff that the Storm King's soldiers' armor and weapons were made of. Imagine this material being commonplace in their buildings, homes, vehicles, clothing, etc. Having Twilight figure out a way to bypass it sounds like it would be fun. Naturally I want to avoid a Kryptonite scenario where I find myself writing scenes of "Ah, I need to have the bad guys beat Twilight temporarily, use the [trope material here]!" I'm still trying to work this material into the lore that I've set up while also being canon compliant, so I'll figure something out. Maybe some of the material is refined better/worse than others, allowing for only partial magic disruption, or there are cracks in it that allow magic to pass through like water or electricity.
And yet, as I type this comment, I can't help but get a sense of "even if Twilight has met her equal in terms of magic/anti-magic prowess, her real talent is the ability to befriend others, which in of itself is a type of magic." So really I think it boils down to the character's strengths as a person, and not so much what they are actually capable of. (Still, I do love having her show off from time to time!)
That, and I'd honestly rather write scenarios where she is using magic in clever ways. Beam struggles are cool, but they should be used sparingly. When all that happens is "power level numbers get ramped up," it gets boring and hard to manage. I look to Jojo's Bizarre Adventure for inspiration, since the characters's unique Stand powers usually allow for clever manipulations of physics, the environment, taking advantage of the opponent's psychology, and the like.
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technically we can assume Chrysalis' throne was made either with something similar or the same thing. Since any magic except Changelings magic. I know that changed when Thorax took over... And I just remember this was written before that. I'm pretty sure.
Also to the author. I love this had if for a while in my to read later list. And note that I have written this in the afternoon (I'm in the East time zone, like Canada, U.S.A), while in school in a French class (my first language).
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Thank you! Yes, this was written a long time before that episode.
My favorite footnote so far!