Baked Bean is but one of the thousands of tourists in Canterlot, and he's looking for some inspiration to help launch his writing career. To this end, he pays a visit to the Royal Gardens, but while there he quickly and quite accidentally invokes a long-forgotten law that will completely upend his life and thrust him into the spotlight...

As Celestia's husband.

And all this because of noses.

As seen on Equestria Daily!

With an audio reading by Fire Hearth Studios!

Cover art graciously provided by the Right Most Awesome Backlash91!
Original cover art provided the Right Most Awesome Sipioc!

Proofreading and prereading services provided by Georg, Sipioc, and Moon Fire!

Fan Art for this story can be found right here!

A most worthy review by Cyonix!

You are Anonymous, only human in Equestria and roommate to Vinyl Scratch. You jam out, the only problem is, you love Octavia

Once upon a time, there was a man living in a typical suburban house in the heart of America, and one day he somehow found himself someplace in Equestria. But this was no ordinary place in Equestria! It was an extraordinary place where no human has ever been before.

In honor of National Bat Appreciation Day

Now with a reading by Icahbod Creep!

The girls had known that their friend had been researching something. They had watched as he pored over books writing notes in a private code. They had watched as he went to town hall and failing that, Canterlot archives looking through Cutie Mark registries. And know they watched, as he finished his personal quest. The only thought they could dredge up was a single word. Why.

Earth's final downfall is imminent. Celestia and several other ponies watch with bated breath, as the final few acres of tainted land are swallowed. The last remaining humans are cornered in, no way of resisting their conversion.

But, just before Celestia orders the potion to be applied, the humans unite in an act that will haunt Celestia forever.

Warning! This story was written in fifteen minutes, and was not proofread before publish. It is easily my worst story. If you do not enjoy TCB or ACB stories, you will most likely not enjoy this story. Tags are accurate. There is no happy ending here. Viewer discretion is advised.

The nobles of Canterlot are up to their old schemes again. Trying desperately to elevate themselves from mere nobles to that of royalty, the high council begins to pressure both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna into marriage. There is only one problem the two sisters face. As the law of old states, only a pony of nobility or foreign dignitary may be eligible to wed either of the princesses. The two sisters must now find a suitable candidate willing to adhere to the balance of power they had so desperately fought to maintain, or lose their right to rule.
Luckily, there seems to be a certain somebody that meets the strict criteria and who would also not abuse his position as royal consort to the Moon and Sun. Now, if only there was a way to convince him.

((I know I am terrible at writing synopsis, but please don't let that dissuade you from giving my story a chance. Rated T for light cussing, teasing, flirtatious mares, and provocative situations. May change later on depending on how I feel and the input from the readers.))

Update: I finally got a beautiful cover art for the story! It looks so freaking amazing and I am super happy with how it turned out. The artist is super talented and you should all go view her stuff and maybe even commission something from her! I literally can't justify how amazing this picture is!
Artist: Cotton
Thank you all so much for your feedback and support! Because of you all I was featured! *happy pony noises*
Featured
1/20/17
2/02/17
12/05/17

You've had your eyes set on Applejack for a long time. Maybe your best friend Rainbow Dash can help you earn Applejack's heart. You wouldn't see why not. Besides, she's your best bro. Right?

Previous Cover Art

Chinese Translation on Fimtale
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest

You've been in Equestria for about a month now, and have had the privilege of becoming friends with Princess Celestia, the land's kind and fair ruler.

Close friends.

Very close friends.

That's probably it though...right?

EDIT: Featured at #3 on 7/2! I'm glad you all enjoyed!
EDIT: #2 on 7/3! Wowza!
EDIT: (Same day) Now with an AUDIO READING by MultiDoomPie!

You are a human, Anonymous, that has lived in Equestria for two years. After a Hearth's Warming Eve spent together, Anonymous goes through a revolutionary phase when he realizes that Rainbow Dash, his closest friend in this world, has been harboring feelings for him that he never even noticed. How did he never notice? Why him, and not a stallion? Is he some kind of xenophiliac deep down?

Rated for language, along with various sexual-themed exploits. But no sex. Because sex with pastel-colored horses shouldn't be posted on websites that are meant to be browsed by anyone who can click a check box on a dropdown list used by anyone browsing a website. Or at least made to be more secure than that. Because really, who would want to read something like that?

This story has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit the prose-reading mind.

Audioplay (Complete!)

Links to Commando Pony's reading:
Chapters 1-4
Chapters 5-8

UPDATE! The original version of this story was recently added to the /mlp/ collaboration of "Tales To Fap Too - Volume #3". You can purchase the paperback version here (all proceeds go to charity):
Link to paperback version
Again, it is the unedited version, so you'll be reading it in full 4chan greentext format. Also, you'll get spoilers. Spoilers everywhere.

My name is Artemis, I was sworn in as Princess Celestia's personal guard quite some time ago. I've watched her for so many years and silently stood by her side during all the recent ups and downs of her reign. Now I'm going to tell her how I feel. I know it would never work, we're just too different. But sometimes, there are things in a stallion's life he just has to do, and things he has to get off his chest.

What happens tonight will be anypony's guess, but one thing is for certain... it will be a night to remember.

Part one of the "To Love" trilogy. > Part two can be found here<
Teen for slight language and very mild suggestive themes.

Edited by Darastrix.
Pre-read by Azu and NATOstrike.