• Member Since 28th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago


Something-something horse narrations.


You are a human, Anonymous, that has lived in Equestria for two years. After a Hearth's Warming Eve spent together, Anonymous goes through a revolutionary phase when he realizes that Rainbow Dash, his closest friend in this world, has been harboring feelings for him that he never even noticed. How did he never notice? Why him, and not a stallion? Is he some kind of xenophiliac deep down?

Rated for language, along with various sexual-themed exploits. But no sex. Because sex with pastel-colored horses shouldn't be posted on websites that are meant to be browsed by anyone who can click a check box on a dropdown list used by anyone browsing a website. Or at least made to be more secure than that. Because really, who would want to read something like that?

This story has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit the prose-reading mind.

Audioplay (Complete!)

Links to Commando Pony's reading:
Chapters 1-4
Chapters 5-8

UPDATE! The original version of this story was recently added to the /mlp/ collaboration of "Tales To Fap Too - Volume #3". You can purchase the paperback version here (all proceeds go to charity):
Link to paperback version
Again, it is the unedited version, so you'll be reading it in full 4chan greentext format. Also, you'll get spoilers. Spoilers everywhere.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 334 )

Because who would want to read about fucking pastel coloured horses...heh heh heh......heh

So. Huh.

Not entirely sure what I just read, but I'll be watching to see where this goes.

Rated for language, along with various sexual-themed exploits. But no sex. Because sex with pastel-colored horses shouldn't be posted on websites that are meant to be browsed by anyone who can click a check box on a dropdown list used by anyone browsing a website. Or at least made to be more secure than that. Because really, who would want to read something like that?

Yes, because clicking a check box next to the words View Mature isn't nearly direct enough in its implications. :facehoof:

This has potential.


The sarcasm is not strong in this one... :pinkiecrazy:
...Or it is, and I'm just not noticing it because text. :rainbowhuh:

1081595 Sarcastic writer is sarcastic.

"Fucking Flutterslut"

Keep being a badd ass writer bro.


I'm sure that if she tried to get into your pants every waking moment of every day against your better wishes, simply to satisfy her xenophiliac fetishes, you'd feel the same way. :ajsmug:

Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't want to have sex with your "daughter", now would you?


Favorite comment all day. You have no idea how many people did that when I first posted this story in its original greentext format. :heart: You made me nostalgia all over the place, sir/madame. Well done.

1083196 dude i wouldnt give a damn if she wanted to get in my pants all the time in fact i would be in heaven but fluttershy is close second of the mane 6 for me rainbro #1 all the fucking way bro

I believe I have a picture to summarize this somewhere... Ah, here it is. :trollestia:

1086173 i still stand by my previous statement and can i ask do you actually hate fluttershy or not

Don't take the story's main character as my own personal opinion. Though Anonymous doesn't enjoy Fluttershy's antics, that doesn't necessarily mean he hates her. That, in and of itself, shouldn't connect to me as whether or not I hate Fluttershy.

TL;DR: My personal opinions shouldn't matter as long as the story plays out as planned.

1086249 i meant do you personally hate her or not (sorry thats just what i was thinking at said time)

:rainbowlaugh: That's what I'm saying; I don't want people to know my opinions on the different ponies, because then it would easily skew the reactions they get when reading my story.

Not to mention that all of the Fluttershy fanatics would go insane if I said either way. "OH NO YOU DON'T LIKE FLUTTERSHY YOUR STORY IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD" or "OMG Y U TREAT HER SO BADLY IF YOU LIKE HER?!"

Either way, it's a lose-lose for me in this situation. Stay tuned; I may reveal my opinions later on.

1086281 thats ok them mate..........................oh and by the way.................................iim watching you

1081053 Dude. That's me...


Also, Good Chapter, now post more before I rip out your fucking throat and piss on your lungs. :pinkiecrazy:

1086972 why you no post that before me then

1087022 When I finished reading the chapter, your mark had already been left. I forgive you of your transgression, but consider this to be a warning. If I ever, EVER, find mine mark in thy name, I shall smite you. Your name shall be forgotten in the realms of FiMFiction, and your presence will be erased. This is my final warning to you.


Don't know why I'm writing here (drunk, 6th beer) but man do I like letters!
Also... erm... Good story? :D
Please don't hurt me...

1088202 Curses, my bluff failed. :ajsleepy:

To all who are asking me to continue this, I will direct you here.

This has all of the information you will need.

Eventually, you’re on what you believe is your third bottle; you lost count at twelve.

I loled hard :rainbowlaugh:



Hehe! At 18,318 hits on my Pastebin as of right now; not much longer until I reach 20K and post the full prose!

Ready yourselves, it won't be long now... :pinkiecrazy: Not to mention I can use all of this extra time to read over and add more to it.

Had 100 hits on my Pastebin today... Wow, that was a lot.

If this continues at its pace, you can expect to see the full story within... 15-16 days. I have it written up already, just adding things in now. And gaming. And working on -other- projects that I may or may not post on here as well when I finish.


I almost feel bad for posting this picture here... I mean REALLY bad... but...


I truly am a cocktease. :rainbowwild:

I suppose anon has good reason to not be very fond of this Fluttershy, yes?


Quite. Over the two years that he's been stuck here, she's consistently been trying to force him to have sex with her, due to some sick xenophiliac fetish she has for him.

I don't know about anyone else, but if someone was trying to force unwanted sex upon me, I'd not be too fond of them either. :ajsmug:

Of course, this is explained later in the story (the part that is currently greentext), but it's far enough into the story to where I'm not going to bother converting it into prose. It's just too much work on my part.

1177595 I get it, and I support it. The idea of a female trying to sheath a guy without consent, no matter beauty or species or what-freaking-ever, makes me sick.

"The only thing you see are her eyes, and even then they’re fairly camouflaged well from the snow, save for her teal green eyes."
Redundance is redundant. You'll want to re-phrase that.


...Ack. I need to stop writing at 2AM... and then re-reading at 3AM... :ajbemused: I'll get to that right away.

EDIT: There we go. Fixed it.

Update! I'm currently at 19.5K hits on my Pastebin! I estimate a week before I reach 20K, and then you will receive my gift to all of you.

A nice, d'aww inducing, feels building, jimmies rustling one-shot story of everyone's favorite bro, Rainbow Dash.

...Only it's not a one-shot. Because there's more to it than what I've got on FIMFiction. :ajsmug:

your story sucks dick, kill yourself


Love you too, Chronicler. Still waiting for your part in our little collab... :ajsmug:


And so, it begins. As promised, the full version of the first story I ever wrote on 4Chan.

Let the flood gates open.

D'awwww at the end :rainbowkiss:

I want moar...

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